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Corrupt a Wish v2

Granted, but now you're forced to go to work the next weekend.

I wish that the Xbox 360 never head the "Red Ring of Death" hardware failure.
 
Granted but instead, they get the "Orange Ring of Death".

I wish I could control the weather.
 
Granted, but this wish results in your wish never having been posted, creating a world-edning paradox.

I wish for attention, interpret that how you will.
 
Granted, but it's not what you think because you get pushed off a 7th story building.

I wish people will buy my Easter eggs.
 
Granted, the game gets released today but it has alot of bad annoying glitches such as your character will get stuck inside a wall and you can't get out etc.

I wish my easter eggs won't break.
 
Granted, but you now have a pain on your foot.

I wish I could draw good.
 
Granted, but you can only draw pictures of sloths dressed like pimps. As in, if you try drawing anything else, your hand corrects it into pimp sloths.

I wish I could talk to sloths.
 
Granted, you're now only able to talk to sloths and not to humans.

I wish to have a beautiful secret garden of my own.
 
Granted but it's full of carnivorous plants, that crave human flesh.

I wish I could change history to make it better. Maybe starting by taking out a certain dictator from the 1930s.
 
I wish I could change history to make it better. Maybe starting by taking out a certain dictator from the 1930s.
Granted, but by doing this you set the technology in the world back by 40 years, which makes it that you cannot ask for this wish and this results in a tear in the spacetime continuum which swallows this universe whole.

I wish for a cookie
 
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