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Corrupt a Wish v2

Granted, but the moment you take a sip, you begin to feel drunk as if it WAS alcohol.


I wish I was actually good at using hypnosis...
 
Granted; its the mundane, real-life hypnosis used for witnesses in forensic psychology and not the fantastic mind-control/brainwashing in fictionland.

I wish I was a demon.
 
Granted, but in order to maintain your powers, you must...

...get intimate...

...with as many people as possible... (Essentially, you are now an incubus/succubus)


I wish I could tell a girl I knew in elementary school how I feel...
 
Granted, she thinks you're disgusting and she doesn't ever want to meet you ever again, and she'll even go to murderous lengths just to prevent it from happening.

I wish I were a butterfly.
 
granted, but your main body weighs 60 pounds somehow, preventing you from flying anywhere

I wish I had someone that I could murder, and was deserving of it
 
Granted. You are teleported to the end of your lifespan, and your victim is yourself at the end of the murder spree this very wish has spawned.

I wish I could alter time at will.
 
granted, but the only place the portal takes you to is the parking lot of a tgi fridays

I wish my father wasn't a bigot
 
Granted, but since you posted that wish in Corrupt a Wish, it's implied that you wish for there to be some catch, so just granted. Your father is not a bigot, no strings attached.

I wish the next person to respond to this won a million US dollars.
 
Granted. But it only works for 5 items of clothing.

I wish to be able to Transform like Mew.
 
Granted. You're now a Ditto.

I wish for a tank to help me deal with crazy drivers on the road.
 
Granted, but out of any username you've had on any site in the past, you have the most embarrassing one possible.

I wish I had a button on my desk at home that I could press, and every time I pressed that button, someone showed up at my door with a free large veggie pizza for me.
 
Granted, but the pizza place ends up closing down because you pressed the button too much and they went bankrupt from giving out free pizza

I wish that my room didn't get so dusty so often
 
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