Corrupt a Wish v2

[Maniacal Engineer]

Granted. The watch functions perfectly, and performs so well that it gets banned on Smogon to the Uber tier because it is so broken…in battle.
You are never allowed to use or see the stopwatch again.

I wish for absolutely nothing.

 

[Blaine.]

Granted, but everything you eat will taste stale

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Granted. You are now wiped from existence altogether.

I wish for a wish that couldn’t be corrupted.

 

[Blaine.]

Granted. But you can't find your sock

I wish for a bag of Whole-Grain Doritos

 

[Snowy]

Granted. You find a bag of corn with the dorito's seasoning on it.

I wish to be useful.

 

[Blaine.]

Granted. But you only have a use to Capybara's.

I wish for World Anarchy

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Granted. Pretty sure that’s what’s already happening, anyway.
In any case, you’re killed during a riot resulting from a complete lack of accountability or responsibility.

I wish for more free time.

 

[Snowy]

Granted. You’ve been fired.

i wish ME wasn’t fired.

 

[AnimeboyIanpower]

Granted, but you get fired in his place.

I wish I could use magic.

 

[Snowy]

Granted, but you can only cast teleport spells… on cats.

i wish i was a cat.

 

[DawningWinds]

Granted. When the transformation takes place, you maintain your current age, which, in cat years, is old, and as a result, you are very sickly and will probably die soon.

I wish history wasn't hard.

 

[Snowy]

Granted. History doesn't exist. Today is yesterday.

I wish I was on TV.

 

[BigDocFan]

Granted, places you on top of a TV

I wish for a can of pepsi max

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Granted, a giant can of Pepsi clobbers you on the head and kills you.

I wish that I didn’t have to make any more wishes.

 

[BigDocFan]

Granted, bans you from the forums

I wish for some peace and quiet

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Granted. You get sent to a universe where you are the only person who exists. There is nothing else.

I wish I could take a nap right now…

 

[Snowy]

Granted. You’ve been fired again.

i wish ME didn’t keep getting fired

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Granted. I am now dictator for life and can never be fired again.

I wish I didn’t just grant that wish…

 

[Blaine.]

Granted. A rebellion comes to play, taking 20 years to enact its plan. 20 years later, ME is getting bored of dictatorship. Before he conquers the last bit of land he needs (Hans Island), the rebellion sends ME to the Shadow Realm! There, he is simply a mere spirit in a world of darkness and evil. Fitting.

I wish for a bottle of shampoo

 

[BigDocFan]

Granted, gives you a bottle of the most horrible smelling shampoo ever

I wish for a new camera