Corrupt a Wish v2

[BigDocFan]

Granted but you can't open the door

I wish for a warm cup of tea

 

[CryoStone]

I wish for a warm cup of tea

Granted, but the tea is super hot and immediately burns your tongue upon sipping.

I wish to be good at competitive Pokemon

 

[Galactic_V]

Granted, you'll be happy forever now, as a spirit in Heaven.

I wish I could be just like Gorgeous Serena (the character in my avatar), a tough person fearless enough to face the dangerous Seven Seas and a bunch of violent pirate crews while searching for the Dimerian dimension, a place where any wish you have can and will be made true (even bringing people from the dead is possible).

 

[MegaPod]

Granted. One day, while you are at a furniture store, you smoothly walk right past a big ol’ sharp-cornered wooden table while some employees are filming a commercial in the location. Mere feet behind you, the employee talking to the camera walks in the exact same path you just took, but bumps his knee right into that very table, keels over in pain, and shouts out a string of cusses on camera. The cameraman thinks it’s so hilarious that such a blooper was caught while filming a commercial, he turns the footage in to a funny home video show, on which he eventually wins the $500,000 grand prize and proceeds to split the winnings with the guy who bumped his knee. If only that could’ve been you.

I wish that I could transform garbage into clean water, clean food, or other useful commodities at any time just by willing it to change.

 

[Snowy]

Granted. You are so good at doing this, that every country in the world demands you help clean up their garbage problems, and the ocean, and everywhere else there is garbage... you are working non-stop, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, never getting any rest.

I wish I could live at the bottom of the ocean.

 

[MegaPod]

Granted; you are now perfectly suited to live in the darkest depths of the ocean, and like with other organisms that thrive there, attempting to ascend from such depths will make your body literally collapse from the change in water pressure. And it turns out you don’t have that many interesting things to do down there in between swallowing cold, slimy anglerfish. Oops.

I wish for a universally compatible game console with free access to every video game in existence

 

[BigDocFan]

Granted but the game is one you will never like

I wish for some better weather

 

[CryoStone]

Granted. It will now always snow, no matter what.

I wish for something. Anything you want, honestly.

 

[Snowy]

Granted. From now on, everyone is completely honest and unable to sugar coat what they say, no matter what.

I wish I liked chocolate.

 

[CryoStone]

Granted, but the chocolate is uneatable.

I wish I had a lot of subscribers

 

[BigDocFan]

Granted but they all criticize what you do

I wish a pepperoni pizza

 

[Galactic_V]

Granted, but the spices in this pizza is so strong you have to be taken to the hospital.

I wish for a new sketchbook.

 

[BigDocFan]

Granted but you get arrested, accused of stealing it.

I wish for warmer weather

 

[Isaac the Investigator]

Granted, you get Venus weather.

I wish for a million more wishes.

 

[BigDocFan]

Granted but each wish is corrupted and you must use all of them

I wish for a happy Christmas

 

[Snowy]

Granted. But you have to spend it in Australia. I hope you have good air conditioning.

I wish for cooler weather.

 

[BigDocFan]

Granted but the weather gets even cooler every single day, never getting warmer

I wish to write episodes of Pokemon

 

[Snowy]

Granted but they cannot contain more than one human character per episode.

I wish for some food.

 

[BigDocFan]

Granted but the food stinks and is something you hate the most

I wish to have the power to teleport any place that I fancy

 

[Snowy]

Granted. But the teleport is temporary and you will immediately teleport back.

I wish this post was golden.