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EVERYONE: Dawn vs Paul

D
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After Ash's latest defeat to Paul, Dawn decides to avenge Ash's defeat.

JediMaster362

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Part 1

"Oh, Ash," Dawn said, having just witnessed Ash's devastating defeat by Paul. Dawn could not find it in her heart to allow Paul to walk away without even attempting to stand up for Ash.

"Dawn, no. Don’t do anything." Brock whispered.

"I can’t allow this to happen to Ash!" Dawn set Piplup on the ground. The Pokémon Coordinator felt an immense urge to push Paul. However, she ran out to confront Ash's rival. "You!" Dawn shouted as she managed to stop him.

"What are you going to do? You’re even more pathetic than he is!" Paul started to walk again, only to get his path blocked by Dawn again.

"Paul, I challenge you to a full battle!" Dawn shouted as she raised a Pokeball as a gesture, and everyone started to look at her and Paul.

"You are weak. I am out of here." Paul was determined to get going again and was ready to push Dawn away, should she get in his way.

However, Dawn was equally motivated to avenge Ash's honour as a Pokémon Trainer. "You should look at a mirror and say that, Paul!"

Paul was getting irritated, and felt like his challenger was going to keep persisting until he accepted. "Fine. Humiliate yourself. What do I care? A win is a win. I hope that, after you learn your lesson, you start minding your own business. Tomorrow, at noon, we will battle. Now, get out of the way."

Dawn wanted to find a rock to hit her opponent with. However, the sound of Ash running towards Dawn stopped her from her attempt to hurt Paul.

"Dawn! What did you do that for?" Asked Ash.

"You’re welcome, Ash! I am doing this to show you my support. I want to show you that, win or lose, Paul is the weak one, not the other way around." Dawn started to shake.

"A couple of fools. Those two deserve each other." Paul kicked a pile of dirt that was in his path.

That evening, as Dawn prepared to sleep in her bed for the night, she realized that she didn’t have a full team. "Ash?"

"Dawn. Look. I am sorry. I just hope that you know what you are up against." Ash said worriedly.

"Oh, I know. And, um, I just realized… I need to borrow a few of your Pokémon." Dawn answered softly.

Ash sighed. "Do you know which ones you want to borrow?"

Dawn thought for a couple of seconds. "I think that Monferno, Staraptor, and Buizel will do."

"Ok. I will let you borrow them. But, remember, Paul is ruthless, and you should be careful."

"Right. Got it, Ash."

That night, Nurse Joy was able to help Monferno, Staraptor, and Buizel by feeding them some mashed berries, while Brock helped after hearing his companions talking.

"Thank goodness. I think that they are going to recover just fine." Nurse Joy breathed a sigh of relief.

"Nurse Joy, I just wanted to thank you for letting me help you with their recovery. I overheard Ash and Dawn talking, and that is why I wanted to do what I could." The former Pewter City Gym Leader picked up the empty dishes and started to bring them to a sink to wash the dishes.

"I think that you are a great friend, Brock. You are a loyal person for your companions, and I know that they appreciate what you do for them."

"Nurse Joy, I am concerned about what Dawn is doing. What is she doing this for?" Brock sincerely confided about the situation to Nurse Joy.

"Hm… from what you have told me, I think that there’s a possibility that Dawn wants to show Ash how much he means to her. I think that she may have a special spot for Ash in her heart, and seeing Ash being defeated by Paul has got to be a difficult thing for her to deal with."

"Dawn? Really? Well, when you put it that way, I think that it sort of makes sense. But, still. I am just worried that Dawn might get hurt. After all, Paul is the opposite of Ash." Brock then looked at Ash's Pokémon, and he repeated what he had just said.

Meanwhile, back in the bedroom, Ash looked at his Pokéballs and sighed. "I lost. I can take defeat. But, man, this is a whole other ballpark!" Ash started to get tears in his eyes.

"Ash… Paul is Paul. And, he is the weakest person I know. The way you handle your Pokémon is just phenomenal. I should tell you that I admire your success as a Trainer. Really."

"Dawn, here’s Monferno, Staraptor, and Buizel's Pokéballs. I trust you." Ash handed Dawn the balls and then started to breathe hard.

Just then, Dawn grabbed both of Ash’s hands. "I know that you do. And, no need to worry. I'll show Paul just what this 'pathetic' Pokémon Coordinator can do!"

After the two exchanged smiles, they each took their bed and began to drift off to sleep. Brock silently entered the room and quietly looked at his friends. "Dawn might have a little thing for Ash. I am fine with that. I hope that she knows how Ash trusts her. Not only that but, I also think that Paul is not going to go down without a fight."

Meanwhile, a disguised Team Rocket had accessed the Pokémon Center. Before they could have the opportunity to steal Ash, Dawn, and Brock's Pokémon, were approached by the referee approached Reggie recruited. "Ah. There you button pushers are! You guys sure worked hard! So, why don't you have a meal? It's my treat."

"REALLY?" Jessie, James, and Meowth, all screamed in perfect unison. "Let's eat!" The hungry trio rushed to the cafeteria to get seated, and ordered massive amounts of food.

While the trio was stuffing their faces with food, the referee who employed them had ordered his meal, and sat down with the still disguised Team Rocket. "Well, tomorrow, you have another full day. This is another 6 on 6 battle, so eat up."

"Seriously? I mean, wow! Trainers today really enjoy their battling! How inspiring!" James shouted as he kept on eating.

"I just hope that the Twerpette makes up her mind better than the Twerp does. My poor fingers just stopped burning!" Jessie thought.

Soon, Team Rocket finished their meal, and the referee paid their bill.

As Team Rocket got ready for their rest, Meowth was somewhat disappointed that their heist could not proceed as planned. "Maaaan, dat Twoipette. She really stuck up for da Twoip."

"You know, Meowth, I think she wants to put the Rude Twerp in his place," Jessie said before yawning.

"Huh. But, why now?" Meowth asked Jessie.

"Hm... well, I think that she idolizes the Twerp, and, ergo, as a result of the Twerp losing to that guy, I think the Twerpette has had enough!"

"I've had enough of da Rude Twoip! If only I could give him a Fury Swipes in his face!"

Pop! "Waaaaaabuuuffffet!"

The following morning, Ash and Dawn were finalizing Dawn's battle strategy.

"Torterra is a Grass and Ground type, so Buneary's Ice Beam will be key to a swift knockout. Ursaring is Normal type. So, Monferno's Mach Punch will be useful. Mamoswine to counter Electric attacks from Electabuzz, Piplup can use Whirlpool on Magmortar, Monferno can be really useful for Weavile, since it is a Dark and Ice type. That leaves Buneary's Ice Beam for Honchkrow. All righty. Sounds like a great strategy. No need to worry!"

"Dawn, are you sure? What if the strategy doesn't work? Then what?" Ash started to worry.

"No need to worry, Ash! Nobody does what Paul did and gets away with it!" Dawn started to show her confidence.

"Huh. I think that Dawn is really determined to win this match for me. But... why?" Ash thought to himself, confused.

"Hey, Ash. Can you come here for a sec? I just finished making Pikachu's breakfast, and I think it would be meaningful for you to give it to Pikachu yourself."

"Right." Ash answered.

"And I'll go buy myself a drink. I've earned it." Dawn thought to herself.

Meanwhile, as Ash and Brock walked to the treatment room, Brock cleared his throat. "You know, Ash, I spoke to Nurse Joy about you and Dawn, last night, and she thinks there's something that Dawn is not telling you."

"What, she's planning to use Pikachu's Thunderbolt in a Double Performance? She might just as well borrow all my Pokémon for her Contests, at least until I get over this defeat!" Ash felt his heart sink, just thinking about yesterday.

"No, it's not that. I meant that Nurse Joy feels that Dawn has some special spot for you in her heart." Brock said after shaking his head a bit.

"Special place in her heart?" Ash wondered. "Huh. I think I know what it means."

"Ash, Dawn is very loyal to you, and I think she's got a crush on you," Brock whispered to the budding Pokémon Master.

"A crush?" Ash looked at Brock in disbelief.

"Well, Ash, we're around Dawn day and night, we cheer her on at Contests, she cheers you on at Gym Battles, and I've seen her in a cheering outfit. Don't you get it, Ash? For some reason, Dawn really seems to have taken a shine to you."

"I guess it makes sense. She held my hands last night. But, I thought it was just out of support. Nothing felt wrong with what Dawn did. But, still. A crush?"

"Dawn can still be a good friend, if you don’t have the same feelings for her. But, if you don’t have any romantic feelings for Dawn, don’t tell her now. I don’t think that she would be happy about that."

"That’s not it, Brock. I just don’t know if I should tell her how much she means to me."

Brock's ears twitched. "And?" The Breeder asked his friend.

"Dawn means a lot to me. I guess, I just never thought that I would be as flattered as I am now. But… if that’s the case, why hasn’t Dawn said anything?"

"Dawn must be nervous about telling you about how she feels. I think that you should get ready to go and watch the match after you deliver Pikachu's breakfast. I will bring Pikachu after it’s done eating. Just don’t think too much about what we talked about."

As Ash was delivering Pikachu its breakfast, an eavesdropping Team Rocket bolted out of the Pokémon Center, and the trio started to stuff their faces with some of the food that they stole, although, it was yesterday’s food.

"So, the Twerpette… with a crush on the Twerp?" James said.

"I think that it is sickening and sweet at the same time!" Jessie shouted as she ate a whole biscuit in a single bite.

Pop! "Wobbuffet!"

"Huh. Wobby's sayin' that it’s not soipoised!" Meowth exclaimed.

"Waaaahhhhh-buff-et!"

"Now, it’s saying that it wants me to Fury Swipe da Rude Twoip after the battle!"

"Meowth, I agree with Wobbuffet. The Rude Twerp deserves that, and then some!"

"WAAAAHHHH-BUUUUFFFF-ET!"

Meanwhile, Ash sat down as he thought about what Brock told him. "No need to worry, Ash! Everything will be just fine! Ash just won an awesome victory at the Pastoria Gym!" Ash remembered some of the encouraging things Dawn said around him. "Man. If Dawn is crushing on me, I don’t know what to do." Just then, the Trainer from Pallet Town heard some footsteps coming from behind him. It was Nurse Joy.

"Ash, your team is recovering, but I think that it will do them some good to watch the match between Paul and Dawn."

Ash blushed at the sound of Dawn's name. "That’s a great idea, Nurse Joy. Thanks so much!"

"I have noticed that simply mentioning Dawn's name has got you in an unusual place. I just happen to be a licensed therapist, and I am here to help."

"I was just thinking… what do I do, Nurse Joy? Dawn means so much to me. But, I don’t want to distract her from the battle."

"Well, you're going to need to tell her how much she means to you."

Part 2
Under construction. I am wondering about how the story is like, in the meantime.
 
Last edited:

Huikyeong

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I will say, this is a little weird but I will give it a chance. Example being the narration,

Just then, the Trainer from Pallet Town heard some footsteps coming from behind him. It was Nurse Joy.

You could have said, "just then, Ash heard some footsteps coming from behind him". The trainer from Pallet Town bit is unnecessary, however, I understand that most writers want different ways of switching up names. But it is totally OK to interchange "Ash" and "he/him/his". Also, words like "the Pokemon Coordinator" are too clunky for a description. You're better off saying "the young woman" or "the girl" or simply, Dawn.

"Ash, Dawn is very loyal to you, and I think Dawn's got a crush on you," Brock whispered to the budding Pokémon Master.

Here's an example of how you can interchange. You used Dawn's name twice in the same sentence. You could say "Ash, Dawn is very loyal to you and I think she's got a crush on you".

"I challenge you to a Full Battle, Paul from Veilstone City!" Dawn shouted so loudly as she raised a Pokéball as a gesture, and everyone started to look at her and Paul.

The from Veilstone City part was very much unnecessary. Especially in this particular dialogue. Full Battle doesn't need to be capitalized. A better alternative would be: "Paul, I challenge you to a full battle!" Dawn shouted as she raised a Pokeball.

"Dawn! What did you do that for?" Asked Ash Ketchum of Pallet Town.

The underlined part is unnecessary.

Paul was getting irritated. "Fine. Humiliate yourself. What do I care? A win is a win. I hope that, after you learn your lesson, you start minding your own business. Tomorrow, at noon, we will battle. Now, get out of the way."

Here's where it gets... weird. Like, Paul is a douchenozzle but really? Really? This is the same dude that blew off Barry when he asked for a battle. Why would he be willing to battle a coordinator? Especially when Paul insulted Ash for participating in the Wallace Cup?

No need to worry, Ash! Nobody does what Paul did and gets away with it!" Dawn started to show her confidence.

What did he do though? What did he get away with? Beating Ash?

That evening, as Dawn prepared to sleep in her bed for the night, she realized that she didn’t have a full team. "Ash?"

"Dawn. Look. I am sorry. I hope that you know what you are up against." Ash said worriedly.

"Oh, I know. And, um, I just realized… I need to borrow a couple of your Pokémon." Dawn answered softly.

Ash sighed. "Do you know which ones you want to borrow?"

Dawn thought for a couple of seconds. "I think that Monferno, Staraptor, and Buizel will do."

But why? I understand Dawn doesn't have a full team but why did she challenge him to a full battle in the first place? Dawn can be flimsy but not that much. Her having to borrow Ash's Pokemon, who lost, doesn't sit right with me either. For one, not only was Ash's spirit broken but so was his Pokemon's. So it makes no sense to have Pokemon whose spirits are crushed to go battle that same trainer again. Another thing is that Dawn usually uses her own Pokemon for battles. So I would guess she would do the same. She hasn't needed to borrow anyone's Pokemon. Like Buizel, yeah that one makes sense because it WAS Dawn's, to begin with, but the others? Yeah no. It doesn't SIT right and I don't know why!

Anyway, I will follow this to see how the battle goes. I'm looking forward to it!
 

SpinyShell

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Yeah no. It doesn't SIT right and I don't know why!
That also stood out to me as well. Part of me thinks it’s because Dawn standing up to Paul for Ash is cast as this big, important moment for her but it’s undermined by the fact that she doesn’t use her own Pokémon, especially considering that by calling her weak and pathetic, Paul is also calling into question the Pokémon she owns as well and maybe even her training abilities.

Not only that, usually in stories where there’s a crushing, disheartening loss the loser overcomes the pain of defeat and trains themselves and their Pokémon, eventually overcoming their adversary. But, by having Ash’s Pokémon not only get defeated, but also have some of them handed off to another trainer to fight in Ash’s steed without any sort of training feels unsatisfying because we don’t see them grow with their trainer and (presumably) earn their victory.
 
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Businka

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Sorry for my not very good english. I really liked it. Continue your creativity and maybe someday the fans' hopes will come true. Thanks to fans like you, the story is complemented by what the writers considered superfluous, even though they themselves gave grounds for alternative versions. A pair of Ash (Satoshi) and Dawn (Hikari) are the best in my opinion. A lot of points speak about this. And I believe that the creators of the anime missed a lot by not allowing the development of this line of relationships between the main characters.

Brock (Takeshi) and Zoya very often intervened in those moments when Ash (Satoshi) had to calm Dawn (Hikari), which could serve as an impetus in the future. And I think the ending of this arc of the series is the most unfortunate. They went through a lot together. Team Galaxy storylines, feature films. And such a heartless goodbye? The farewell to Misty (Kasumi) was very emotional. If you look closely, in the finale, you could see how the heart of Dawn (Hikari) was breaking inside, barely holding back tears and smiling with the last bit of strength at the departing ferry ... This gave rise to a negative attitude towards Ash (Satoshi). In the finale, he looked like an insensitive log. Sorry to digress from the main topic.
 
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