Describe a game as poorly as you can!

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Let me start.

The year is 1937, and you must create an army of abominations by splicing various animal parts together in order to stop the man who killed your father. Also, your headquarters is a flying train.

Any guesses?

 

[Stratelier]

I like how Honest Game Trailers described Pokemon. Y'know, that 10-year old kid who beats up other kids' pets for money, spends free time gambling, while also taking on The Mafia like no one ever has....

 

[Gengarzilla]

You are the main character.

No, I'm not trolling.

 

[Wispy Willow]

You (and a bunch of other blokes/blokettes I guess) decide to climb a mystical giant tree in search of whatever vaguely-legend-ish things might be up there. Oh, and there's also this whole thing with science-magic and eternal life or some s*** like that. And also an apocalypse happens somewhere in there, that too.

I like how my natural way of rambling translates nicely to this thread, just saying.

 

[henrymidfields]

You team up with your brothers from medieval Soviet Russia, trying to spread communism to Tokugawa Japan. Either that or play as New England and guide the country for victory in World War Minus-2's Pacific Theatre.

 

[ReturnofMCH]

Sentient elevaters attack with making you do menial tasks every 5 seconds

 

[henrymidfields]

Here's another one for my favourite FE game. Draconic ploretarians rise up against the human bourgeoisie in Imperial Germany and try to spread their ploretarian dictatorship across Europe.

And for something else:
Let's see what kind of idiocy will the princess fall into to blunder herself into the clutches of the turtle king. Bonus idiocy points awarded for forgetting to use one's Final Smash move.

 

[Zkat]

run

Spoiler

 

[Blockhead Pippi]

A kid gets sucked into another dimension with a friend, which is distorted by different time periods. The kid forms a team of martial artists while chasing after said friend who abandoned them. More combatants can be recruited by beating them into submission.

 

[Stratelier]

Welcome to our village! We have monster problems. Go kill them. A lot.

 

[al_the_bard]

Mario, I don't know what medical school or training you have, but put on this lab coat and throw these pills at the virus.

 

[Wispy Willow]

In the second game in the series, after a dragon comes through a portal from another world and starts collecting all the land's treasure, an interdimensional being who had arrived before said dragon (and his two monster-pets I guess) must slay it and retrieve the land's treasure.

Spoiler: A simple tale really

EDIT: The way I worded the sentence about the interdimensional being's monster-pets made it sound like they belonged to that dragon instead of belonging to the interdimensional being, but I'm going to leave that in because I mean just look at the name of the thread.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

A bunch of high schoolers shoot themselves in the head over and over again to summon monsters so they can fight other monsters and protect the people in the coffins but also there's other people who shoot themselves in the head to fight them with their own monsters.

Let me start.

The year is 1937, and you must create an army of abominations by splicing various animal parts together in order to stop the man who killed your father. Also, your headquarters is a flying train.

Any guesses?

Is this Bioshock Infinite?

 

[Stratelier]

A highschool kid discovers that TV is literally the gateway to the realm of peoples' subconscious. And every time the weather turns foggy someone turns up dead.

 

[musicfan]

You kill god with a light saber of friendship. Also robots.

 

[ocelotlrama jaguar]

A kid robot that jumps and shoots things.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

A boy who wears a green skirt collects a bunch of other stuff so that he can collect three special pieces of metal, or maybe just the pieces of one piece of metal, or something. There's a princess who helps him out but no queen, so I guess she just remains a princess because she wants to remain in a ceremonial role.

 

[Wispy Willow]

A wolf travels a far-off land searching for godlike powers and, as a side-note, kills many demons, restores life to the local flora and fauna and saves various townsfolk from whatever troubles they might be facing, no matter how small or mundane. However, many advesaries will try to stop this wolf on its way, including but not limited to: a... promiscuious spider, a rather large something-or-other, a clokcwork owl or two and a man who uses both Pillow Talk and a lightsaber in battle.

 

[musicfan]

A guy travels through time to find another owner of a book. Also war awesome music also blue is shiny thre are red bugs and grey is earnestly popular.

 

[Blockhead Pippi]

Spiky-haired man flubs his way through the justice system.