EVERYONE: Destiny's Heroes: Unbeatable

[Colton S]

Chapter 1: Beginnings!

"Wake Up! Big brother, today is the day you meet Mister Professor!" Said 8 year old Kate Tanoan, who tried so hard to make everyone on time.

"Let me sleep..." Said the black haired 13 year old.

"No! Get out of bed!" For an 8 year old girl, she was surprisingly strong. She pulled him out of bed, and he woke up as soon as he hit the white carpet.

"Why did you do that!?" Said Drake Tanoan. He pulled himself up and sat down on the bed.

"To wake you up! You have to be at the lab by 9:00 and it's 5:00 now! The train leaves in a few minutes!"

"Why did we choose to live in Mossdeep? It's too far to get one little Pokemon!"

"Because Mommy wanted a good place to live!" Kate said while shutting the door. He quickly changed into a Blue hoodie with a white outline of a Pokeball in the center. He wore black pants, nothing too fancy. He put on his shoes, which were simple white sneakers. For the final touch, he put on a red hat with the three starter Pokemon that he would be choosing from. "Alright. I think we're ready." He walked out the door and walked down the steps to find his mother sitting at the table.

"I know it's a little early for me to be waking up, but this is your special day! I'll make sure you get to the train safe and then you will be on your way! Make sure to visit back here once in awhile!" Said his mom, who was tall, and had long blonde hair.

"I know, I'm coming back before the conference to prepare. Who knows when that will be!" He slung on his backpack and asked his mom, "Ready to go?"

"Yes. I never knew my baby would grow up so fast! Use the camera in your bag to take pictures of what you encounter. I'll want to see how your journey is going! Alright, if we go any later, we will be late! So, let's get to the station!"

"Okay mom. Let's go!" They both walked out the door to an early morning is Mossdeep. The sun had not risen, and in the distance, there was a rocket from the Mossdeep Space Station flying up. Many Pokemon were running around, including a Pichu and Tailow. They continued to walk and in a few minutes, they had made it to the train station.

"Alright. I guess this is where we say goodbye." Said his mother. She started to hug him, and he responded with an embrace. "I love you, Drake."

"I love you too, mom." They broke apart from their embrace, and Drake boarded the train. He sat down in a seat near the window, and watched his hometown disappear. He knew he would be back soon, but it was still sad to see it go. Drake found himself falling asleep, which he welcomed by lying down in the seat. He was asleep within minutes, and he dreamed about his journey. Hours passed, and he woke up to see the warm glow of Petalburg City. He was meeting the professor there, and was officially becoming a trainer! He soon got off of the train, and saw Professor Birch waiting.

"Ah! So there's Drake!" Thanks for coming all of this way to meet me! I am going to let you pick a starting Pokemon, and I will give you a Pokedex. So, first things first, choose one!"

"Well, I don't need to see them, because all of them are great! I'll choose randomly!" Drake said.

"Alright then! Here I have the three choices for you. Just pick one, all of them are great! He lifted up each Pokeball.

"Well, I'll close my eyes and choose one!" He shut his eyes and then grabbed the one of the left. "Let's Go!" He commanded to the Pokemon. The Pokeball opened and a bright light came out, and in front of him was a Pokemon that was green, and had yellow eyes. It had a twig in it's mouth, and looked around, confused by it's surroundings.

"Alright. Now the next thing that I am about to give you is a Pokedex. You can use it to scan your Pokemon, and it will tell you information about it."

"Okay!" Drake said. He took the blue device, and it identified it as a Treecko! "So, you know the moves Grasswhistle and Pound. I can't wait to train you!" Drake said as he picked up his Pokemon. He let it hop on his shoulder and sit there.

"Here are your Pokeballs. You use these to catch wild Pokemon, but you can only have six at one time. If you catch another, you will have to send it to my lab. You can exchange your Pokemon any time!"

"Well, looks like I'm ready to start on my journey!" Drake said.

"Yes, just call me if you need anything!"

"I will. Now let's head out, Treecko!" Drake turned around and ran out of the city, ready to start his journey.


Well, it might be a little short, because Word wasn't wanting to work. But here's the first chapter! Hope you like it!

 

[Beth Pavell]

I quite like Journeyfics, which is what I assume this will turn out to be. I also like Hoenn, so that's another bonus. What I'll say more than anything else here is this - slow down a little. You don't have to layer detail onto everything, it's true, but you could have lingered over describing Mossdeep, over leaving home, the train journey. The train is a good example of where you can improve the narrative with detail - in your fic there might be a direct train to Petalburg but unless you say so it's confusing. And then you can get inside Drake's head, tell us his thoughts and let us know about him as a person.

Hope that helps

 

[Aamir]

This is great!

 

[Colton S]

Well, I haven't updated yet because of school and I have writer's block right now. I'll try to update soon!

 

[Colton S]

Chapter 2: The Forest of Pokemon!
Alright, from now on, Pokemon speech will be told with brackets-[] Drake won't be able to understand his Pokemon at first, so we'll see how this chapter turns out.

“Treecko, let’s get going!” Said thirteen year old Drake. He was just starting on his journey, while running to the West exit of Petalburg City. He observed the calm pond, where the water was shining in the sun like a Mirror Coat. The water was smooth, except a few Pokemon gliding around including a red and white crab Pokemon. The Pokedex identified it as a Corphish. It noticed him staring, and it just sunk back under the water. Drake turned and saw the open gates of Petalburg. A few bird Pokemon sat on top. As he passed underneath, he saw a windswept beach where trainers were battling.

[I want to have a battle!] Said Treecko.

“What? You’re hungry? Alright. But you can’t eat too much. I didn’t pack a lot.” Said Drake. He brought out some Pokemon food and gave it to the little grass type.

[What are you doing? I don’t want food! I want to battle!] Said the Treecko pointing to the trainers.

“I wish I had taken that Pokemon Speech Class back in Mossdeep. It would have come in handy.” Drake started walking away, so Treecko decided to give up. He sat in Drake’s backpack. After a few minutes, Drake spotted a cabin with a small boat outside that read, S.S. Briney on the side. He decided to go up to the house. He knocked on the old wooden door, and a white Pokemon with a little bit of blue on it flew out of the chimney. Drake scanned it and identified it as a Wingull.

Suddenly, a man with a long, white beard and a blue eye and one green, came bursting out of the cabin. He looked crazy! “Peeko! Peeko! Where did you go?” He started yelling. “Yargh! Who are you?!” He said to Drake as he promptly fell over and started shaking.

“Uhhh… I’m Drake… and are you okay?” Drake said carefully.

“Hardly! I’m an old sea captain who got hit in the head too many times!” He yelled, as he stood back up. He looked like he had just gotten hit with a Sand Attack.

“Okay then… Are you Mr. Briney?”

“Yeperdoo! Who else would be this crazy?! Maybe a Spinda or something, but that’s not the point!”

“Okay. I’m Drake, and I’m just a starting trainer. I just wanted to ask someone the best way to get to Rustboro City… But I really don’t want to ask a lunatic… So, bye!” Drake turned and ran towards the beach.

“What is it with the new generation? They don’t even ask why my eyes are different colors… They are crazy…”

As Drake ran, he saw a girl with light brown hair, in a ponytail, who was sitting on the beach.

“I can tell you how to get to Rustboro, even though I’m not from here.” Said the girl.

Drake stopped in his tracks. “Yes! Tell me how to get there!”

“Well, I’ll only guide you, so I’ll come along. I want to travel, anyways.”

“…Alright… What is your name?”

“I’m Emily. And who are you?”

“I’m Drake. So, Emily, where did you come from?”

“From Unova. I’m Professor Juniper’s daughter.” She said as she stood up, revealing that she wore a green tee-shirt, with a black design of a Pokeball on it. She wore white shorts, and plain blue sneakers. “Alright! Let’s go. I’ll lead, you follow.

In a few minutes, the group entered a forest. The sun couldn’t shine through the tall trees, so it was very shady. “This place is cool! I can’t wait to see what Pokemon live in here!” Said Drake, as he walked on.

Meanwhile, back in Petalburg, a small Pokemon scuttled out of the city. The bird Pokemon were still perched on top of the gate. A Wingull crowed, [You’ll never find him! He left over an hour ago!]

The small Pokemon said, [Yes I will! I want to travel with him! Just you watch!] It scuttled out of the city, and looked down both paths. One was to the beach, where he spotted no one. The sky was darkening, anyways. He took the higher road, and passed a small cottage where he heard a human. It wasn’t the kid he was looking for, because it was a crazy old man, shouting something about peeking. The small Pokemon scuttled even further, into the forest. There, he spotted a Silcoon. There was a big log blocking his path, so he asked, [Silcoon! Can you String Shot me over the log?]

[Sure thing!] Said the Silcoon. It shot out a sticky, white string, which wrapped around the Pokemon. It pulled the string back to itself, over the damp, forest floor. The log looked decayed, and was covered with moss. The moss was almost like a protective covering to keep the log from breaking. Soon enough, the Pokemon was over the log. He cut himself free of the string, and scuttled further along. In a few hours, it was getting to be nighttime. He found a tree to rest under. It was a large tree, with damp soil, perfect for Pokemon like him. It slept immediately.

Meanwhile, Drake was in the middle of an intense battle with a Cacnea. “Treecko! Pound once more!” The Wood Gecko Pokemon ran toward the green Pokemon, and Treecko’s tail started to glow a bright white. It did a somersault and hit the little pincushion looking Pokemon. “Now! Finish this up with Grasswhistle!” Said Drake. The Treecko picked up a blade of grass and started playing a melodious tune. The Cacnea, who had just risen, fell immediately when it heard the tune. It was asleep! “Now! Go Pokeball!” Drake said and threw a Pokeball. The Cacnea was hit, and transformed into red energy. It went into the Pokeball. The Pokeball shook three times before pinging. The sign of a capture! “Yes! I just caught a Cacnea!” Drake said happily. Soon, he, Emily, and the Pokemon found a tree and went right to sleep, ready to get to Rustboro tomorrow!


Aaand here's the next chapter! Reviews are appreciated!