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dig's official monthly horoscopes

dig

itadakimasu
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Aries - Stay indoors whilst the moon is out.
Taurus - Less salt in your diet.
Gemini - You need to schedule a doctor visit.
Cancer - Phone home.
Leo - Don't worry about anything, until January 23rd. Then worry.
Virgo - Withdraw all savings, distribute amongst friends.
Libra - Adopt a new pet.
Scorpio - That gum you like is coming back in style.
Sagittarius - Sleep less.
Capricorn - Your best friend is not your friend.
Aquarius - I wouldn't go swimming.
Pisces - Buy something just for you.
 
The Devil of Paradise
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It is. Same with cutting carbohydrates, I mean that's pretty ridiculous. No bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, corn.
Well thats just not gonna happen
 

dig

itadakimasu
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Feburary 2021

Aries - When it rains, it snows.
Taurus - The Jackal is not to be believed, or trusted.
Gemini - Brown is your colour.
Cancer - Don't don't do it.
Leo - You should take out a life insurance policy. You'll know why on Feb 23rd.
Virgo - You should make an effort to plant tomatoes.
Libra - That book you didn't finish should be read.
Scorpio -Your new friend is bald, with a beard and a collection of beetles.
Sagittarius - Sleep less.
Capricorn - You are immune to all spells.
Aquarius - You need to buy a rain coat.
Pisces - Gather two, then see what happens.
 
The Devil of Paradise
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Guess I better watch out for jackals. Thanks for the tip.
 

dig

itadakimasu
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It's that time of year again; March

Aries - Buy a new pair of shoes.
Taurus - Command the centre.
Gemini - Close any windows you may have, then open them wide.
Cancer - You need a haircut.
Leo - Live a carefree life.
Virgo - Place flammable objects near your loved ones.
Libra - Adopt a child.
Scorpio - Don't touch your eyes so much
Sagittarius - Sleep less.
Capricorn - Skip that wedding.
Aquarius - Invest in GameStop
Pisces - Switch to wholegrain.
 
"That's right, fight even though it's useless~ ♪"
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Apparently, I've been pre-emptively achieving my zodiac's goals without meaning to.

I keep taking all-nighters even when I don't have any reason to.
 
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