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TEEN: Disaster Class

UselessBytes

Plays too much Yu-Gi-Oh!
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Messages
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Heyo, it's me. This is a little (Well actually it's not little at all) project I've been dreaming up for a while now, and figured I might as well get started on it. I've always wanted to do a journey fit, and this is sort of one, I guess. Hope y'all enjoy.

Disaster Class

Part 1 -
Chapter 1

Long ago, before the advent of the modern age, the Dralsco region was even more beautiful than it is today. However, that beauty came with a price. Powerful and terrible Pokémon plagued the region, razing any settlement they came across and taking countless lives, showcasing their unbridled rage and indomitable strength. They tormented the people of Dralsco for many decades before a hero rose up against them, opposing their strength alongside his Arcanine. He claimed that Arceus had given him the strength to banish the Pokémon that tormented the region to another realm, and proved it in a most spectacular manner when he tore a rift in the sky and forced several of the Pokémon into it, into a world beyond the Dralsco region.

It wasn’t long before the most ferocious of these Pokémon took notice of the hero’s actions. The most ferocious was also the most intelligent, and it took a special interest in the hero. The Pokémon watched as the hero bested many of the mythical Pokémon that oppressed the Dralsco region, and it fury grew every time another was defeated by the hero. Eventually, it grew tired of watching the hero send away more and more Pokémon every day, and confronted the hero itself. The hero, mesmerised by the most ferocious Pokémon’s power, fled before it, knowing that he could not vanquish it alone. He tracked down three deity Pokémon long worshipped by the people of Dralsco, begging for their assistance. They complied, imbuing his Arcanine with the power to destroy the most ferocious Pokémon.

The hero once again confronted the most ferocious Pokémon, and, armed with the power the three deity Pokémon had bestowed upon him, bested the most ferocious Pokémon, forcing it into another world alongside the rest of its kind. The whole Dralsco Region celebrated their freedom from the terrible and deadly Pokémon, but the victory had come at a cost. The hero used the last of the energy that the three deity Pokémon had given him to forge a seal, forever severing the connection between the two world. Afterwards, the hero collapsed, having used up all of his strength alongside that of the deity Pokémon to create the seal. He passed away shortly after, but was hailed as the greatest hero Dralsco had ever seen. The Pokémon that had been sealed away came to be known as Disaster Class Pokémon, and the hero as the Savior of Dralsco.

-The Legend of the Disaster Class Pokémon

XXX​

Michael Obsidian wasn’t the most attentive of people, so it was no shock to him when his father burst through the door looking frustrated.

Michael slipped the earbuds out from under his mess of sand colored hair and looked at his dad curiously. “Whaddya need, Dad?”

Michael’s father shook his head in disbelief. “I told you three times today that we had company coming over for your birthday, and yet you’re still up here, wearing the same T-shirt and jeans you did yesterday.”
Michael’s gray eyes widened. “Ah, frick! I totally forgot, I’m sorry!” He exclaimed, snagging a bright orange hoodie from the floor as he jumped off of his bed and started to push past his father.

“Hey, Ty, where’s the kid?” A voice called, floating up from the lower floor.

“He’ll be down in a second!” Ty answered. He turned to Michael. “Okay, kid, I got you a pretty wild present, but you gotta promise not to pop it open until everyone is gone. Technically, It’s supposed to be the lab’s property,” he said with a wink. “Now get downstairs!” he said, and shoved Michael into the hall.

The two of them came down the stairs to greet a crowd of people. The voice from earlier greeted them, this time attached to an older man with olive skin and a crisp white lab coat. Other similarly dressed colleagues of Ty’s did the same, as well as several familiar faces from around his hometown of Manifield.

Ignoring the endless comments of “Happy birthday!”, “You look just like your father!”, and “How does it feel to be seventeen?”, Michael pushed his way through the crowd of people towards a table laden with colorfully wrapped presents. He rummaged through the pile of boxes and bags until he found a small package that had been hastily wrapped in drab brown paper labeled “From Dad”.

It was about the size of his fist and had a good bit of weight to it. He tossed it back and forth between his hands, trying to guess what was inside of the crudely packaged present. He picked at the edges of the paper, trying to catch a glimpse at what was inside.

“Michael! It’s good to see you!” Michael turned around with a start, slipping the present into the pocket of his hoodie.

“Oh! It’s good to see you too, Mrs. Winchester,” Michael said, startled by his elderly neighbor’s sudden exclamation. “How are you?”

The party dragged on for a few hours more, and Michael bounced from person to person. He feigned interest in everyone’s stories, but his mind was focused solely on the package in his pocket. He answered questions about school and how his week had gone and whether or not he had a girlfriend left and right as he moved throughout the house. It seemed he’d been asked if he was looking at colleges for the millionth time when he heard his father holler, “Alright, party’s over! Thank you all for coming, but I’ve got work to do!”

As the last bit of conversation died down and the line of guests shuffled out the door, Michael glanced up at his father expectantly.

Ty knew what his son wanted without even asking. “Sure, go on upstairs and open it up. Happy seventeenth, kid,” he said. Michael thanked his father excitedly and rushed up the stairs and into his room, the door swinging shut behind him.

Michael sat down on the unmade twin bed, picking at the paper on the present. “Let’s see what you are…” he muttered, finally tearing a hole in the packaging. He tore away the paper in one motion, revealing a gleaming sphere of metal, one half red and the other white. There was a diamond, one half colored pink, one half colored blue, embossed on the red surface of the ball, just above a snow white circle that Michael recognized as a button.

“A Pokéball?” Michael asked himself. “Maybe there’s a Pokémon inside…” He lifted the ball up and mashed the white button with his thumb, but jumped back and nearly dropped the ball when it burst open with a flash of white light. Michael placed the ball on the bed beside him and rubbed the spots out of his eyes, all the while looking around for whatever had emerged from the ball. There was no sign of a Pokémon that should have emerged from the ball.

“Por!”

Michael was suddenly very attentive. He whipped around, trying to identify the source of the sound.

“Por!” came the sound again.

Michael froze in realization, slowly craning his neck upwards. Hovering above him was a small, blue and pink Pokémon resembling a duck. Its skin was rough and angular, like a collection of crystals gathered into the shape of an animal. It let out another excited “Por!” and floated down to Michael’s level.

“A Porygon…” Michael muttered, reaching out a hand to touch the Pokémon. The Porygon floated over to his hand and rubbed against it, its eyes squinting up as it did so. Michael could only guess that it was some sort of expression of happiness. He looked at the creature’s featureless face, and laughed. “A Porygon. I have a Porygon. Of all the Pokémon I’d never imagine owning, this would be near the top.”

“Well, that's a shame. Want me to take it back to the lab and grab you a Squirtle?”

Michael whipped around to see his dad in the doorway. He shook his head. “No, not at all. This was just… A surprise.”

Ty laughed. “I thought so. That little thing is about as pink as you are pale. You gonna name it?”

Michael shook his head again. “Porygon is fine. It's grown up already with the name, hasn't it?”

The angular, duck shaped Pokémon let out an enthusiastic “Por!”, as if it was confirming Michael’s speculation.

“Well, I figured that you and this little guy would get along fine. Porygon here is a little spacey, kinda like you,” Ty said. “Anyways, kiddo, I hate to bring you bad news today, but the lab called me in.”

Michael’s smile faltered. “You promised you wouldn't work on my birthday this year,” He said, frustration creeping into his previously happy voice.

“I know I did, kiddo, but it’s real urgent, apparently. You know how Silph is. You think you’ll be okay alone for a couple of days? It’ll be seventy-two hours at the most, I promise,” Ty said apologetically.

Michael sighed. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks for the Porygon, dad.”

Ty smiled. “You’re the best, kiddo. Love ya. I’ll leave Bisharp’s Pokéball in the kitchen just in case there’s an emergency.” He pulled the door shut behind him, leaving Michael and Porygon alone.

Michael turned to Porygon. The small Pokémon was gently spinning, clearly amused by its own actions. He reached out and steadied the hovering Pokémon, his smile returning. “Y’know, you’re a pretty great gift, little guy.” Porygon squeaked happily in response as Michael rubbed his hand along its rough and angular body. He glanced at the time, and let out a low whistle. “It’s getting late, little guy. I’m gonna head to bed.” Michael grabbed the Pokéball and returned Porygon to it. “I’ll get to know more about you tomorrow.”


XXX​


Michael’s eyes snapped open as he awoke to the sound of a shrill scream outside. It wasn’t an unusual sound, as Manifield had just as many delinquent teenagers as any other town. Michael assumed it was just the usual group trying to stir up some trouble.

He rolled his eyes and sat up in bed, reaching to close the curtains to try and muffle the noise outside. He had grabbed the curtain and had already started to pull it closed before he caught sight of what was actually happening outside.

The scream had belonged to a woman. The woman stood, cowering away from three men dressed in gray, all three with a purple letter N emblazoned on their left arms. Michael knew immediately who they were. Team Null was a notorious gang that had branches all over the Dralsco region, and no one else would dare use their uniforms.

Michael couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the Pokéballs they were brandishing made it clear they were threatening her. One tossed his Pokéball out in front of her, releasing a rather nasty looking Houndoom, giving it a command that Michael couldn’t decipher. The Houndoom barked at the woman, letting out a breath of flames, eliciting another terrified yelp from her.

Michael had seen enough. He slipped out of bed and into a pair of jeans and his usual orange hoodie. He quickly hurried downstairs, grabbing his father’s Pokéball off of the kitchen counter as he made his way to the front door.

Michael pulled open the door and peeked out at the street. There were suddenly several more thugs dressed in the Team Null uniform out in the street. They must have been hiding, Michael thought.

The man who had released the Houndoom pointed towards a nearby home - Michael recognized it as Mrs. Winchester’s house.

“Listen, lady, I’m tellin’ you if you don’t shut your yap I’ll have my Houndoom here give us a little bit of light, if you get what I’m sayin’.” The man with the Houndoom said. The ten or so men around him responded with enthusiastic calls of “Yeah!” and “You tell ‘em!”. Michael could clearly tell that the man with the Houndoom was in charge.

The woman started to sob, and the man shook his head. “I told you, lady. Houndoom, light it up! You do the same, boys!” Houndoom let out a short bark before spitting fire, bathing the side of Mrs. Winchester’s house in flames as the rest of the group all sent out fire types of their own. “Smoke ‘em out! The boss wants this place to be ours before mornin’!” The leader of the group shouted as the group split up and started to spread through the streets.

Michael quickly shut the door and headed towards the back door, his eyes wide with shock. He was running on adrenaline now, and could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He needed to leave, and fast.

It was time to get out of Manifield.
 
Last edited:
Powerful and terrible Pokémon
Can you think of a less perhaps cliche way to say this? Perhaps just use some different words? The line would have a lot more impact if you did.

that Arceus had given him the strength to banish the Pokémon that tormented the region to another realm, and proved it in a most spectacular manner when he tore a rift in the sky and forced several of the Pokémon into it, into a world beyond the Dralsco region.
This also seems like a bit of a cliche, not too bad since some cliches can work very well if done right.

The hero once again confronted the most ferocious Pokémon, and, armed with the power the three deity Pokémon had bestowed upon him,
Three? Why did they need three? That seems a bit excessive.

-The Legend of the Disaster Class Pokémon
Should it not be 'Disaster Type'?

The hero used the last of the energy that the three deity Pokémon had given him to forge a seal, forever severing the connection between the two world. Afterwards, the hero collapsed, having used up all of his strength alongside that of the deity Pokémon to create the seal. He passed away shortly after, but was hailed as the greatest hero Dralsco had ever seen. The Pokémon that had been sealed away came to be known as Disaster Class Pokémon, and the hero as the Savior of Dralsco.
This section feels a bit choppy and could be explained in a little more detail or perhaps you could just get away with a few simple edits.

tee shirt and jeans
'T-shirt' I don't think Dad's would be one to use 'slang' like 'tee' shirt.

Technically, It’s supposed to be the lab’s property,
Nice way of slipping in some foreshadowing/worldbuilding.

The party drug on
Shouldn't it be 'dragged' on?

Michael asked himself. “Maybe there’s a Pokémon inside…”
That's kind of a given? Not sure if we need the character to reference it like that.

The angular, duck shaped Pokémon let out an enthusiastic “Por!”, as if it was confirming Michael’s speculation.
Aww, Porygon does seem rather cute!

You have a pretty decent chapter here, it sets up the story well enough as a journey style fic, perhaps typical for the games but a little darker in tone. It does what it needs to do, drives the plot but doesn't give too much information that it overwhelms the reader and gives a short introduction to the world and characters. It's not the most exciting of chapters but it's functional and comfortably allows the reader to step inside of the story.
 
Please note: The thread is from 7 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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