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Do you ever feel “not good enough”?

Discussion in 'Support and Advice' started by Cresselia92, Jan 17, 2018.

  1. PrimalIvysaur

    PrimalIvysaur New Member

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    Late to this but, yeah I feel this way quite a lot, even more so lately. Anxiety is something my family is pretty notorius for and me and my mother in particular can have massive panic attacks which doesn't help matters at all. Add that to a very nasty break-up I went through recently, as well as a botched chance at another relationship, and there's a nagging little voice asking me why bother even trying anymore, it's not like anyone would care if you were to just drop dead etc. Ultimately though I know I'll bounce back, most people do they just need time to adjust themselves.
     
  2. EscLucy

    EscLucy Battle Pike Queen

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    Well the way I deal with anxiety is to take regular time outs - just sit there and not do anything at all (not even looking at your phone) and just rest. It really helps alleviate anxiety and stress. I use this especially after a long day at school. Make sure you stay hydrated and have regular and balanced meals. That should keep your body in good order and give it a boost and that will be key in helping you feel better inside. Make sure that you keep a positive mindset, if you can't do that then write down stuff that you're good at and work from there. Finally, make sure you regularly talk to someone you trust irl if you can as it will help you release some of the negative thoughts you may have. :)

    Sorry about your breakup - it's hard, I know. But hopefully things will get better soon :)
     
  3. dragon_nataku

    dragon_nataku Vice-President in Charge of Volcanoes
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    Hey Primal. Sorry you're going through a lot right now. First of all *hugs.* Bad breakups really suck and I'm sure that's a huge part of why you feel terrible right now. Trust me, I understand having that voice that says you being dead will matter to no one, but just tell that voice to shut the hell up. I know it's hard. I get those thoughts too sometimes, even out of the blue for no reason. They always eventually go away so just ignore the voice.

    As for relationships, it's usually not a good idea to get into a new relationship while on the rebound anyway. Just give yourself some time to bounce back, like you said, and then you can give it a go without too much of the ghosts of the old relationship tainting the new one.

    Hang in there~
     
    EscLucy likes this.
  4. Incentive

    Incentive Invisible Queen

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    Oh my, I feel inadequate so often. Not in any one specific circumstance, but overall. I feel like I haven't done things to make my parents proud like my siblings have, and there are times when I feel like I'm not even worth being loved. That I've done too many bad things, am too ugly, etc. It hurts, I must say. It hurts a lot.
     
  5. Kung Fu Ferret

    Kung Fu Ferret VOTE FOR VERMIN SUPREME!

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    I feel this way kind of a lot. I'm not sure what can help.
     
  6. Kyriaki

    Kyriaki Temporary

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    I feel like I'm making the most inefficient choices all the time. It feels frustrating because there's technically nothing wrong, but the results come extremely slow and somehow less rewarding than they should actually be. I'm envious of people who make efficient choices, get the necessary results, and proceed to the next step and achieve speedy, steady progress. Or, in other cases, they receive notice of any mistakes and proceed to make another choice BEFORE I even know the results of my first choice.
     
  7. Edbro55555

    Edbro55555 The gym guide is who I strive to be in life.

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    There is nothing at all with slow and steady choices. It can actually be quite nice to be in a comfortable groove. For example, I worked at a company for 5 years. Wasn't making a whole lot, hours were okay, got a few promotions over the 5 years. But I was so discontent seeing everyone around me just blazing through life. New house, new car, new super incredible job. They had everything and I was still making chump change and living in the same rundown house and driving my hardly functional car.

    I decide I am going to jump head first into something else. Really make a huge change. I get a job interview for a big fancy job, paying tons of money and all of a sudden I was more miserable than I had ever been. Traveling all the time, my coworkers were miserable and pretty horrible to be around, and whatever free time I had was pretty much sleeping and getting from place to place for work.

    Long story short, don't feel like those big, quick jumps that everyone else is making is the end all be all. Its not, and what you think you want may actually be the last thing you ever wanted but you went after it because you saw someone else had it. If you can look at your life, objectively, not comparing it to anyone else, and can say that you are happy. That is what matters. That isn't to say to get complacent. But if there is something you really want, I have always found slow, well thought out steps are the most important thing.
     
    dragon_nataku likes this.
  8. Edbro55555

    Edbro55555 The gym guide is who I strive to be in life.

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    It really depends on the cause. The most important thing is to ask yourself are you doing everything you can to be happy with yourself? If you are giving it your all and being good to other people, you should never feel bad about yourself. Of course, that is a natural part of life. However we live in an age where so much of our lives is comparing ourselves to others.

    Sometimes you just need to take a step back and ask yourself if you are treating other people the way they deserve to be treated. If the answer to that is yes, then ultimately your abilities, how much money you make, how popular you are, and what material possessions you have are unimportant. Those things are too often our bar for self worth. Once people stop using that as their measuring system, it becomes much easier to see real self worth.
     
  9. ocelotlrama

    ocelotlrama Fluffy

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    I know the feeling. It took me 7 years to get a modicum of recognition for my artwork (offline; online, I'm a nobody). Granted, I did things the hardest way possible, but while the results were slow, in the end, the reward was worth it. In my profession, there's much to learn and in the end, I can never stop learning or stop working. I cannot afford to stop learning. Many mistakes are made and they're going to be made, many of which, I admit, I regret. I can promise you that those people who may have had lucky breaks sooner than you faced mistakes from their own pasts and learned from them, as all people do. There's people who had lucky breaks from the beginning and it came crumbling down over one big mistake.

    Despite that, what is the most important is if you are happy. Taking years of dedication is not for everyone and that does not mean you are weak. If you feel like the effort is not worth it, put your mind on something else that you feel is worth the effort. I tell this to my peers not to put so much stock and self-worth into your job or even school work. There's going to be set-backs and disappointment, regardless of how good you are.