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TEEN: Erin's Log

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All right everyone. This is a new fic that I've been working on for the last couple of months or so, it's nothing grand or epic or anything, nor is it meant to have some kind of big plot. The fic is planned to be as short as I can make it and it focuses on the life of the main character Erin.

Now here's the story. Erin isn't actually my own creation, she was originally created by @Dolce; my girlfriend of mine who gave me permission to use her for a fic since I really liked her character and all that stuff. As such she gets full credit for the creation of the character, I'm just interpreting her on this fic and actually keep in touch with her in order to see if the characterization is right.

With that in mind, I hope you all enjoy the fic that I'm about to present.

ERIN’S LOG​

Part 1: My Project

The sound of an alarm clock rang throughout the room, the sensation it created bouncing off the wooden desk as well as the books that had been piled on top of it. As the clock got louder and louder the sheeted figured that had been sitting in front of the desk raised its head; peeking from the long white sheets that were covering its body.

“I get it, I’ll get up already,” a grumpy female voice spoke, a loud groan escaping her as she pressed the snoozed button on the clock. She threw her arms back, causing her chest to be pushed forward as the sheets fell to the floor.

Her long violet hair fell down to her neck, which matched well with the green turtleneck sweater that she was wearing. “I need to get a new sweater,” She was glad to wear it due to it being able to get rid of the cold but it was a bit straining for her at times. She sighed as her hands began to fidget around on the desk in search of something. “Where did I leave those glasses?”

“Found them!” she exclaimed in delight; however a bright flash of light was the response she got for her apparent call of victory. The light shone on top of her, causing her to instinctively look up and jump back.

She shrieked as her chair toppled over and fell to the floor on quick succession, though all she wanted was to find a way to cover her brown colored eyes from the hellish lamp that shone above her.

“Damn it I hate that light,” the girl groaned as she rolled around on the floor. She raised her head and instantly came into view with a tall slender girl, her long blue colored hair falling all the way down to her back. Her hair matched well with her blue colored eyes which contrasted with the sleeveless red sweater she had been wearing along with her beige colored skirt.
“Erin! I thought I told you not to turn our room into a mess!” the girl huffed, her voice becoming higher as she walked into the room and began to scan the area; though she seemed to frown at the sight of all the books that were lying around the room floor.

“Sorry, I got a little carried away yesterday,” Erin replied as she put on her glasses, she seemed uncaring about her roommate’s tone or temper. “I’ll clean it up later…I promise,” she said as she stood up and stretched. “Besides, I have to read all these books so that I can prepare my project for the Science Carnival,” she yawned before turning around.

The room was large and square shaped and boasted a pair of white beds standing on opposite sides of the room, with a night stand in between the two beds. In front of the nightstand stood a small pillow where Erin’s Eevee rested.

The Pokemon raised its ears gleefully as it looked at its trainer. It seemed happy that she had finally woken up and as thus began to walk towards her to greet her. “There you are Ivy, did you have a nice night?” Erin smiled at her Pokemon as she knelt down and proceeded to pet her head.

The other girl sighed as she walked towards the books and began to pick them up. “Honestly Erin I know you wanna win this Science Carnival or whatever but you shouldn’t push yourself so hard,” she pointed out as she put the book backs.

“So I guess it’s okay for me to go out partying in the middle of the week when I have a Biology project to turn in, don’t you think so Stacy?” Erin added, her tone sounding innocent yet feisty as she turned away from Stacy.

Stacy huffed once more before following in Erin’s footsteps and turning around to pick up more books. “Well unlike you, I don’t mind letting loose and having a little fun from time to time, we’re young after all I mean we have to enjoy ourselves while we can,” she stated proudly before flicking her blue hair back.

“Well you are trying to become a model so I guess that suits you doesn’t it? You certainly have the body for it,” Erin smirked as she turned to her friend, causing her to blush slightly as she stared back at her roommate. “What?”

“You’re a perv nerd you know that,” Stacy sighed before she started pacing towards the door. “Also the only thing I like about Biology is Mr. Easton.”

“And I’m sure you have many ways to get him to pass you,” Erin grinned slyly at Stacy only for her to sigh. “Fine I’ll stop with those jokes, though we have to stop by the lab so that I can see if my new sample came in.” Erin stood up from the bed with Ivy and proceeded to lift the Eevee up and carry her in her arms.

“What is your project supposed to be about anyway?” Stacy raised an eyebrow.

“Ooooh does the beautiful and perfect Stacy Lewis want to know about Erin’s simple and boring science project? Why I’m honored to reply to your request!” Erin exclaimed dramatically, her tone sounding melodramatic as she spoke and walked. “But I won’t, because for one it’s a secret, though I’ll tell you when we get to the lab if you want to know.”

“You know I might change my mind if you keep mocking me.”

“Sorry, I was up drinking coffee till late at night, I’m still coming down from it,” Erin pointed out as she adjusted her glasses.

As the two made their way through the dorm’s hallway Erin noticed that the maids of the academy were already changing the sheets and pillows of the rooms, thus meaning that all the people in those rooms had already left for class. “Wow, we really must be late. I guess we can pass by the lab later.”

“That’s why I told you!” Stacy exclaimed before sighing. “Honestly Erin, sometimes you can be such a handful,” she pointed out in a posh and snobby tone.

Erin didn’t respond, she knew that Stacy was just kidding, while it was true that they both got on each other’s nerves most of the time, she had come to develop a kind of…bond with the girl, as weird as it was.

Erin and Stacy were greeted by a large lush garden, the grass and bushes practically glistening with the sunlight that fell over them. They were encased in a large square formation composed of four different buildings including the dorms. The buildings all shared the same crimson colored design which was matched by shades of white that went along the roofs and floors.

This was Oak’s Academy of Science and Arts, a place where future aspiring professors could come and learn about the world of Pokemon and how it worked, thus helping shape a new generation of professors, of course the school also offered focus on the different branches of art such as modeling in the case of Stacy.

This had been Erin’s home for a year now and yet she was still marveled by the sight of the school itself. She had dreamt of being a professor of her own since she was a child and this school was the first of many steps that would lead her to fulfill her dream.

“Your aunt is a professor right?” Stacy asked curiously, her eyes turning to the large tree that was situated in the middle of campus, with its leaves casting a shadow around the area below the tree.

“Yep, she does research in the Orange Islands,” Erin nodded her head proudly before beginning to walk once more. “I used to help her out a lot when I was a kid, plus I got to be around a lot of Pokemon…you can say I was born to be a professor even,” she chuckled happily.

“Well considering all the work you put into it…plus you know more about Pokemon than anyone I know,” Stacy shrugged.

“Of course!” Erin exclaimed before pumping her fist in the air. “A good professor must know everything there is to know about Pokemon and if they don’t then they should strive to learn more for that is the duty of someone with the title of Professor!”

Stacy put her left hand over her mouth and giggled. “I have to admit; I love how you get all spirited when you talk about those things.”

“Well if I didn’t get spirited then there wouldn’t be any sense to it now would there?” Erin smiled back at her roommate as the two began to make their way through the campus. She, like Stacy, had been staring at the garden and trees; but much like Stacy her eyes had fixed on the large oak tree that stood in the center of the campus. “I hope that one day I can make great discoveries for the world,” she nodded her head with determination.

“Yeah….I’m glad you’re happy and all but we kind of got to get to class you know,” Stacy pointed out while raising her hand as a way to get Erin out of her daydreams. The girl just looked at her for a moment, almost as if she was trying to figure out what Stacy meant.

That’s when Erin’s eyes opened wide as she turned around and began to jog. “Oh my god I forgot we were running late again!” she exclaimed, forgetting about her own thoughts as she began to run towards one of the nearest building.

“Of course,” Stacy sighed with exasperation before following after her friend.

Erin and Stacy made their way through the hallways before they were finally able to arrive in their biology classroom. There was a large black stand of about six rows up, the stands in turn had a small desk for every person sitting in it and they all went up the wall. There was a large wooden podium on the right corner of the room along with a white board that stretched all across the room.

Of course with them being late class was already in session. All of the students immediately turned around to look at the pair when the door opened, their eyes falling on them as Stacy tried her best to look as if she didn’t care.

Erin just scratched the back of her head for a moment as she looked towards the teacher. A man with long black colored hair that fell down to his neck, he had hazel colored eyes and white skin. He was wearing a white dress shirt; however the sleeves were folded back so as to show his slightly toned arms, he was also wearing black pants.

“Why, I’m glad you could join us Ms. Vine and Ms. Lewis,” the teacher said while smiling at the two girls, he seemed nice, at least on the surface, but Erin knew that while Mr. Easton was very popular with the girls he was also the type of guy that liked to have attention to himself.

“We’re sorry for arriving late Mr. Easton,” Stacy said almost immediately, she bowing her head politely only to pull Erin along, earning a groan from her “Erin just kind of overslept as usual, please carry on,” she said while giving out a nervous giggle.

“Thank you Ms. Lewis, always a pleasure to have you in my class,” Mr. Easton replied as he turned back towards the board.

“You know you didn’t have to melt so quickly back there right?” Erin muttered towards Stacy as the two made their way up the stand, ignoring the glances that the other students gave them as they passed.

“We interrupted his class because of your mistake, I think we should give an apology,” Stacy scolded before she and Erin finally reached the top row and proceeded to sit down. “Especially since it was your fault to begin with.”

“I guess you have a point,” Erin nodded her head before she looked back down at Mr. Easton as he spoke. “But there’s just something I don’t like about him you know.”

“So on the subject of grass types, as you all know these types of Pokemon are very close to nature and as thus rely on nature, it has been known that a lot of grass types are actually affected by the environment they’re in much more than any other Pokemon,” Mr. Easton began explaining as he looked up at the class. “Now, who can tell me how nature can influence a grass type’s biology and their abilities?”

Erin beamed when she heard this question. Ever since she had been little she had a fascination for grass types, to the point that she had considered becoming a grass type only trainer. She didn’t know why she was so infatuated with them. Maybe it was due to her upbringing or maybe it was the fact that she always felt relaxed around grass types, especially since they were a type of pokemon that was usually overlooked.

She raised her hand with excitement as she grinned at Mr. Easton, happy that she was gonna get a chance to really show her knowledge.

Mr. Easton looked towards her direction, something that made Erin even more anxious. Unfortunately what came next was not something she was expecting. “Yes Clarice, do you have the answer.”

Erin’s smile dissolved almost instantly before it was replaced by a glare as she turned to frown at the girl that was sitting on her left.

Clarice grinned at Erin, lowering her hand from the air as her long wavy brown hair moved around along with her. She had brown colored eyes that shone with mischief; her face donned a mischievous smirk as she stared at the purple haired girl. This didn’t last for long as she turned around so that she could face Mr. Easton. “Most grass types can learn to adapt to a variety of climates, be it sunny places, rain, snow, deserts, or even toxic waste lands. But while they are versatile this leaves them vulnerable to attacks.”

“Like a grass type who thrives in sun must be wary of fire.” Clarice explained, her voice gaining a sort of methodical tone as she spoke and grinned back at Erin. “Sometimes you just have to be a bit faster in life,” she said conceitedly while putting her arms down on her desk.

“That was a good answer Ms. Jones,” Mr. Easton replied calmly, ignoring the hostility between his two students as he began to focus back on class.

Erin didn’t bother replying to Clarice. She was annoyed at her for being picked to answer the question yeah, but she knew that she would only be feeding her ego if she reacted “You know, I’m actually surprised you’re having so much trouble with the Science Carnival,” she heard Clarice speak once more, her tone sounding more rudely. “I mean my project is almost complete and I still get my 8 hours of sleep, well I guess some people are cut out to be better professors than others.”
“Yeah I guess that works when you’re basically copying from what other people have researched on in the past huh?” Erin replied calmly. There was no anger or annoyance but a simple monotone coldness to it.

This statement seemed to take Clarice aback a little as she turned away from the girl while frowning. “Better than acting like I’m smarter than what I really am and failing. In my opinion, yours isn’t exactly original either and unlike what I’ve got it hasn’t really bared any fruits.” she huffed.

“But you see that’s the point!” Erin exclaimed, causing Stacy to jump from her seat at her friend’s sudden change in tone, now becoming a bit more serious and annoyed. “A professor’s job is to delve into the unknown or the unanswered and help find that answer, otherwise what’s the point of it?”

Mr. Easton coughed, finally causing Erin to turn and look his way, only to notice that the class had once again stopped. “I understand your passionate about your project Ms. Vine, but please stop interrupting the class or I will have to take measures.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Erin sighed, though not before glaring at Clarice.

***

After Biology class concluded the two girls were finally able to leave the classroom, Erin being the first one out while Stacy followed behind her. “You really don’t like this class huh?” Stacy asked as she walked after her friend.

“It’s not the class. It’s the teacher and Clarice mainly,” Erin frowned while walking with her arms crossed, still sore after what had happened with Clarice. “I shouldn’t have acted out like that but it just bothers me, she might be bitchy but she’s really smart and is my rival for the Science Carnival.”

“This Science Carnival really is more important than it looks huh?” Stacy raised an eyebrow in confusion. She couldn’t understand why Erin would be so focused on this, she knew that it had something to do with her wanting to be a Professor obviously, but why get so passionate for a simple school event.

Erin turned around to face Stacy for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. “It’s just something that I really want to win,” she stated before she kept walking. “Anyways, Biology is our only class together, so you should go,” she said cordially.

“Oh right,” Stacy replied with realization, she had been too busy in her own thoughts. “Well um…I actually wanted to know if I could go to the lab to see your project this afternoon,” she smiled.

Erin seemed a bit shocked by her statement, and indeed it took her a few seconds to reply. “Sure, it’s in Building D just so you know,” she stated calmly before she started to walk off.

Stacy stared at her for a moment though, feeling as if there was something that was off with Erin. She sighed, deciding to forget about it before turning around and walking off.

***

After classes had ended Stacy decided to make good of her promise to Erin and made her way towards building D.

It was a large building made out of pearly white marble. The windows were dark so that no one could see anything from the outside and it went on for about four stories or so…she wouldn’t know, though she didn’t really care enough to really make out what it looked like.

Stacy walked into the building, ignoring the gazes that she was getting from the students and some teachers that turned to look at her. It was a requirement for all students of the science department to wear the school’s lab coat, so it was easy to set people apart from each other, especially in Stacy’s case.

“She told me the building but she didn’t tell me the room,” Stacy frowned while scratching the back of her head, part of her thinking that Erin probably didn’t want her to see the project after all.

As she walked through the hallways of the building she was able to get a good look at the labs. She was amazed by how clean and ordered they were; all of the tools and equipment was set up accordingly and orderly. Each lab had about 10 tables for people to use and charts displaying different types of Pokemon and their anatomy.

“Wow, this place is set up pretty nicely,” Stacy muttered as she came to a halt in front of one of the labs. The lab, unlike the others which had very little people or were empty, was instead filled with people. Stacy didn’t bother approximating the number but she could count up to 15 people all running around with a different task.

She could see five boards on the other side, all the displaying different calculations, drawings and other science stuff that Stacy, again, couldn’t bother paying attention to.

There was one thing she did notice though and that was Clarice standing in the center of the room. All of the other students were crowding around her and consulting her, at least from Stacy’s point of view as she seemed to be explaining what was on the board to them. That’s when she realized that what she was seeing was actually Clarice’s project for the Science Carnival, or at least her working on it.

She was mostly amazed by how she had gotten so many people to help her, which caused her to worry about the practically unsocial Erin and how it would affect her chances of winning.

Stacy was pulled out of her train of thought when she was Clarice walk over towards her, causing the girl to step back in shock when she saw her standing on the other side of the doorway. “Nice to see you here Stacy,” she grinned deviously. “Might I ask why you’re here, I mean you’re not really the type of person that would usually come to these places?”

Stacy was a bit taken aback by her sudden question as well as Clarice’s tone, almost as if she was implying that she was there to spy her or something. She however decided to ignore that and focus on her task. “I’m actually looking for Erin’s lab, she said I could come and see her project.”

“Oh you’re looking for Erin, that makes sense,” Clarice said slyly while nodding her head. “Well, she’s on the floor above this one actually. All by her lonely self, though I guess that fits her.”

“Why do you and Erin get along so…nicely anyway?” Stacy pointed out sarcastically while glaring at the girl. “It’s not like she ever did anything to you.”

Clarice didn’t reply, instead she just grinned at the girl before turning around. “No reason, I just find her as a rival and someone that stands in front of my goal really,” she replied simply. “Erin acts so conceded, I get that she’s passionate but I hate that, my goal when I become a Professor is to become famous and become known by others as well as my research, I’m not the ‘I wanna do things for myself’ type of scientist and you won’t get success by…”

“I’m bored now, so I’m gonna go if you don’t mind,” Stacy snickered, a large grin crossing her face when she noticed Clarice’s face becoming red after having her speech interrupted. “Next time you should talk less and show more, cause honestly, Erin can beat you, in fact I’m sure she will.”

Stacy had gone up to the last floor of the building and was sad to find out that Clarice had been right. All of the labs on the fourth floor were empty and the floor itself was completely dark except for a small trail of light that came from the lab on the other end of the hallway.

“Hello?” Stacy called, only for her to smile as she saw Erin inside of the lab room. She was wearing the science department’s signature white coat and seemed to be typing on a black mini laptop. “I think these pictures could work don’t you Matsu?” Erin asked, her face still looking at the screen and giving Stacy reassurance that she hadn’t noticed her friend entering.

Upon closer look she noticed that the lab room was actually smaller than Clarice’s, there were two tables that had been pushed all the way to the other side of the room with only one of them remaining in the center. The table was filled with pictures of Pokemon of colors different to the conventional ones such as a pink Pikachu or an orange Phanpy.

Aside from the pictures there were also books and ripped up notes scattered all around the table, and similarly to Clarice they all displayed Erin’s own writing and notes on what she was researching. “Okay, now I need you to look up a picture of the Crystal Onix for me Matsu. I have a feeling that could help a lot with my research regarding how rock Pokemon could vary depending on the material they’re composed off,” Erin spoke methodically, her voice sounding like she was completely lost in her research.

However one thing she did notice that she should’ve seen that morning was the bag that Erin had under her eyes. It was now obvious to Stacy how much the girl had actually avoided sleep only to work on her research. “Um…Erin,” Stacy said cautiously

“Huh?’ Erin raised her head, finally acknowledging Stacy before turning to look at her. “Oh Stacy, you’re here? I thought you wouldn’t make it when I remembered I didn’t tell you which room it was,” she turned back to her computer, not even looking at Stacy while she typed. “Oh, this is Matsu.” Erin beamed cheerfully before turning the laptop around so that Stacy could come face to face with what was inside.

Stacy stared at the screen for a moment and was able to see a Porygon swimming over a series of pictures displaying a crystal colored Onix inside of the screen. “Oh wow, I’ve never seen an actual Porygon before,” Stacy gasped in disbelief as she got closer to the screen; gently tapping on it and getting Matsu to smile. “I didn’t know you had one.”

“I usually keep Matsu in her Pokeball or the laptop,” Erin smiled at her friend, now turning the laptop back to her. “She’s a great help when it comes to research and she’s faster than any computer since she can travel anywhere through the internet too.”

“That should come in handy,” Stacy’s eyes looked down at the table once more with curiosity. “So…what are you researching in the end?”

“Oh you’re curious after all,” Erin grinned slyly before standing up from her seat. “My project relies on the study of Pokemon and how they are affected by the world around them, basically it relies on researching Pokemon that display abnormalities, it’s something I’ve always been curious about so I wanted to find out my own reasons why.”

Stacy stared at Erin for a moment, her eyes still focused on the bags that covered her eyes with worry. “As I told you my aunt lives in the Orange Islands, and Pokemon of different colors and traits are one of the things that have made it popular,” Erin kept talking though, almost as if she was lost in her own world. “I also want to explain the mystery of shinies and Pokemon that can change their forms, well…more into detail, I know there are a lot of other professors that have investigated that.”

“I’m curious to know how this all occurs! You can have crystal Onixs or pink Pikachus or even a black Charmander or something. There’s so much more to this world than people care to notice. They’re so focused on learning more about how Pokemon work…about the inside that they’re forgetting the outside!”

Stacy just smiled as she listened to Erin ramble, getting a better look at the lab itself. “You know I passed by Clarice’s lab and I noticed that she has a lot of assistants with her,” she pointed out, causing Erin to go quiet as her speech was interrupted. “Don’t you have any?”

Erin just blinked at Stacy for a moment before a frown developed on her face. “I don’t need any assistants,” she turned away from her friend. “I’d rather be able to complete this by myself, besides I have a lot more help with Matsu, I don’t need a bunch of people that are just trying to use me for their own success.”


“Use you?”

“There’s more to the Science Carnival than what I told you, you see.” Erin quipped.

“You see, much like in real life you’re allowed to have one or even more assistants that can help you out with your research,” she began to explain before starting to walk around the table while inspecting the notes that were on it. “However this also affects the prize, just as the winner will get their research funded they can also take their assistants with them if they wish to.”

“So that’s why Clarice has so many people working with her,” Stacy pointed out with realization as she stared at her friend. “They just want to help her win so that they can get some of the credit.”

“Exactly, regardless of whether you’re a participant or assistant once you win a Science Carnival you are put on the map. Other professors like Juniper from Unova and Sycamore from Kalos have also won their own carnivals,” Erin pointed out, raising her index finger and moving it in front of Stacy. “By being the assistant to a famous professor you also open a lot of room for you on the field, everyone thinks of it as a shortcut to success.”

“Well that explains why others have assistants, but why don’t you?” Stacy asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, first of all I don’t really care whether I have an assistant or not. I’m smart enough to do my work and Matsu’s all the help I need,” Erin shrugged while sighing. “But if you want the gist of it then I’ll have to say that basically…people don’t care about my project.”

“Your project’s pretty cool though. I’ve always wondered why some Pokemon come in different colors and why they’re so rare myself,” Stacy argued, she sounding a bit more concerned as she came to realize how alone Erin really was.

“You think it’s cool,” Erin clarified. “But what about the big names that are gonna come and judge the carnival, are they gonna think it’s cool? At the end of the day the reason why some Pokemon come as shiny or in other colors isn’t something people care about as a whole, in fact most people have just learned to live with it.”

Her tone seemed to have become a bit more annoyed as she spoke, allowing Stacy to see just how much Erin was actually bothered about it, but not because she didn’t have supporters, that’s not like Erin, but rather because her research was being looked down upon. “So yeah, not a lot of people think I can win, but that’s why I have to work extra hard.” Erin frowned, her face showing a clear determination; though it was still combined with clear exhaustion.

“You really want to be a professor that much huh?” Stacy smiled. “Why though?”

“Because…I love to learn,” Erin smiled back at her. However, just as she had said this her hand began to slip away from the table, her body leaning back, so quickly that Stacy wasn’t able to realize until she saw her friend hit the floor, a loud thud resounding as Erin’s head laid against the cold hard floor of the lab room.

Stacy’s face became riddled with shock, taking her a second to realize what had happened before she let out a loud gasp. She could see Matsu jumping out from the laptop and floating towards its trainer and she was quick to follow the Pokemon. “Erin, are you okay?” Stacy exclaimed as she knelt down next to her fainted friend.

She checked her pulse to make sure that she was still alive and sighed in relief when she heard it beating normally. That’s when she looked back at the bags that were under Erin’s eyes. It was exhaustion that had caused her to faint; all those days of staying up late or not sleeping at all had taken its toll on her friend. “We have to take her to the infirmary or…” as she spoke she heard the groans of her friend and was quick to help her sit up.

“Well...that was fun,” Erin muttered drowsily as she looked at a worried and practically tearing Stacy. “Don’t get all sad, that’s not like you!” she exclaimed, realizing how worried her friend had been. “I just had a little black out of sorts, I’ll sleep tonight I swear.”

“And then what, you’ll skip three more days or something,” Stacy frowned at her friend with disdain. “Regardless of whether you want to admit it or not you need an assistant, if you really want to win without killing yourself that is.”

“Well yeah, I know I need one, I maybe be stubborn but I’m not stupid,” Erin groaned before pushing herself up from the floor. “But it’s just tough luck if no one else wants to be my assistant I guess.”

Stacy wiped the tears off her eyes before she patted Erin’s shoulder, causing Erin to raise her head in surprise. “Then I’ll be your assistant,” Stacy stated confidently.

“I appreciate it, but you’re not really from the science department, you wouldn’t be of much use,” she pointed out while narrowing her eyes at her friend.

“I know I don’t know much about anything, and no offense but I don’t really care about this whole thing…but I know that you do and I should at least help you win and fulfill your wish,” Stacy nodded her head while putting her hands to her hips. “That’s what friends are for isn’t it.”

“Ugh, so cheesy, I think I‘m gonna faint again,” Erin sighed and leaned against the table, only to smile warmly at her friend before smirking. “But fiiiine, I’ll let you help me out with the basic stuff, plus I can teach you some things too.”

“Yay!” Stacy cheered before chuckling at her own reaction. She didn’t know much about Erin’s project and didn’t really know how to help her, but she was happy by just making sure that she was at least able to help ease up the load that her friend had to deal with. “By the way, can we go drink some tea? I could go for some earl grey right about now.”

“That’s gonna make me fall asleep again though!” Erin whined while flailing her arms around. “But fiiiiine, though if you’re gonna be interrupting work this much I’m gonna have to reconsider.”

To be Continued

Part 1 end

Next Time: Party till you Die
 
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Overall, I thought this was a very cute and interesting fic. I can't say much about the plot because it has yet to get started, but so far it seems pretty decent. Nothing too crazy, and nothing too dull. Like, I don't feel stressed out reading this. It's kind of relaxing. Though, I'm waiting to see what happens with the Science Carnival, and I'm really liking the idea of this school. I've never seen a school for professors before, so awesomeness! As for characters, I really haven't seen them in full action yet. They aren't exactly the most intriguing characters, but I'm going to assume this is due to the fact only chapter one is out. If there's one more thing I have to add about these characters, it's that they're kind of...predictable? I'm not exactly sure how to explain what I feel, but characters like Erin and Stacy remind me of numerous other characters I've seen. Hm. I'll try to think of what I'm getting at, but there seems to be something...off about them?

Another thing, the dialogue doesn't feel believable to me. I feel like it mostly consists of playful teasing, exposition, and sass. Don't get me wrong, I love playful teasing, exposition and sass, but it somehow seems forced.

Now onto the actual writing! I noticed a bit of small, silly mistakes.

...though she seemed to frown at the sight of all the books that were lying around the room floor.

...she pointed out as she put the book backs.

Now, as much as I love room floors, they sadly do not exist :p Um, and as for the second one, 'book backs' sound like some sort of money, hehe. The few errors in this fic are not bad at all. I know I've had worse mistakes.

Okay, now onto the overall writing. It was good. I was able to smoothly follow the story without getting irritated. Hm, where to start? Um, it seems whenever someone speaks, it always has to be accompanied by a non important action. While this is good when spread out throughout a story, it begins to get annoying if done too much. Another thing I noticed is that you used a lot of semi colons (Semi colons are awesome and I have this issue too). They're used to separate two complete thoughts/sentences, and I noticed that it was sometimes used to connect two ideas like commas do. Like, if you can make two separate sentences out of the one sentence, use a semi colon. If you cannot do this, do not use a semi colon. Better safe than sorry! ^^

A man with long black colored hair that fell down to his neck, he had hazel colored eyes and white skin.

Now this is what confuses me. Something seems so off about this description, but I really can't find a definite issue. It just feels odd to look at. Maybe re-word it so it's easier to read?

Lastly, the description seemed to be a bit dragging in places. I was pretty okay with that. Nothing too major. Okay, I'm done for this chapter. This fic is much easier to read than a 50 chapter one. I personally liked it, and as you see, I was being very picky when reviewing this. I'm a picky person :p Anyway, I can't wait to see what happens next!
 
Alright, I'm finished. Boy was this long... OK, so I have a few things to say, and I'll start with the small things. For one, Proygon is genderless, but the characters refer to it as a she, and in a school of professors I'd expect some accuracy. :p The second thing has to do with punctuation, not a big deal.
They’re so focused on learning more about how Pokemon work…about the inside that they’re forgetting the outside!”
The ellipses (...) should be spaced before and after, and you didn't space either way. I usually only space after, even though that's still wrong... whatever. Lastly, make sure you know the difference between "your" and "you're" I noticed there was a mistake like that somewhere.

Anyway, lets dive into the story and characters more. So you mention that Erin isn't your original character, I don't really mind since you got permission from the creator, even though I personally prefer to use my own, but that's not what I'm here to review. Let me start with the story and pacing. So the story is about "pokemon students" or soon to be professors, which I find intriguing. I also find the original setting (at least in my experience) of this pokemon "university" really interesting, and has potential. I did have a problem with the pacing though. I was felt like I was almost forcing myself to read the beginning of the chapter, which isn't good for your potential readers. That isn't to say that the story is boring, but the way you chose to start it was, at least in my opinion. I actually enjoyed the last third of the chapter, with the first and second being kind of slow and somewhat uninteresting, and I'm sure you wanted it to be more gripping.

If it were me, I would have started the chapter off with the way you ended it, then went back to the start. I think that would have made me want to read it more. So it would start with the part where Erin is talking to Stacy about her project then faints from over exhaustion, after that you go back and show us what happened before all that, I would've found it easier to read. That's what I would've done.

Also you seem to have an issue with giving us too much details, which distracts us from the characters. This kind of story is character focused, so you need to know when to give us the details without making it seem like the characters are just ornaments in the story.

That brings me to the characters. I can't really say much yet, since this is the first chapter, but I'll try. Before I get into detail with the characters though, I want to tell you that with this kind of story you should try to give the characters more spotlight, describe the characters, their emotions and habits rather than their appearances. With that said Erin seems like a likable character, and Stacy is obviously the supportive friend that doesn't seem to have the same interests as Erin, which I find to be a little cliche, at least from what I've read till now. Clarice on the other hand, is definitely a cliche character in my opinion, so I'm really hoping to see some character development in this short. I don't expect much from the story, but I do want to see the characters grow out of their cliches and seem more human.

Anyway, that's my take on this. I don't really like that the chapter is long, but I guess that's to be expected from a short, so it's alright. For now, I just want to see the characters get more attention. Also, work on the pacing; I really hope I don't have to read the start of the chapter being bored just to get to the good parts.
 
Well now I see I missed some things when doing the read over. Anyways you already know this, but I enjoyed the chapter. As a reader of your other fic, it's nice to see the histories of Stacy and Clarice. I especially liked that Erin gave her porygon a gender, and am eager to find out how the fair will go, and more about Clarice as well. Why she is the way she is.
 
I rather like reading stories like this. Sometimes I feel that there isn't enough of the ordinary in pokémon fanfic, and ordinary is certainly this story. Overall, it held my attention long enough to read it in one sitting, though I'm glad it ended where it did. Any more and I think I would have been getting out my mental bookmark. The characters are believable enough, I found Erin more compelling than Stacy though. At times Stacy's inner monologue focused a bit too much on what she doesn't care about - I could have done without that, since I knew we were in her head (So to speak). Having said that I like the roomie dynamic the two have going and I'm curious to see where it leads from there.

On a pickier note:

She threw her arms back, causing her chest to be pushed forward as the sheets fell to the floor

That looked a little odd to me. Call me picky - which may well be justified, now I come to think of it - but it just seemed a little odd that you'd mention Erin pushing her chest out

She raised her head and instantly came into view with a tall slender girl

I reckon "She raised her head and a tall slender girl instantly came into view" would flow better
 
I liked it. It's not often that you see Pokemon-related fics that aren't about battling or training, but instead focus on the other aspects of the universe. I think you really nailed it with the concept, and I'm very interested to see where you take things.

The characterization was good, but I felt it could have been a bit better. Clarice's personality shone like a beacon in her few short appearances, but Erin and Stacy's character aren't as clear, at least not to me. I'm not saying it's bad, but I think it needs just a little more work.

The beginning really threw me off, because I wasn't sure if they were in a bedroom or an office. I eventually figured it out, but the setting should be made clearer from the get-go so that the reader doesn't end up confused as to what's going on.

Now, on the nit-pickier side, there's a lot of minor stylistic errors here and there. It's nothing major, but it starts to add up. There aren't many typos, which is good, just a lot of missing/incorrect punctuation. I'd suggest just reading over it and paying attention to the punctuation.

Still, I liked the story. You seem to have a clear indication of where you want things to go, and like I said earlier, it's a cool concept. Definitely looking forward to the next chapter. :D
 
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