Sweet Veil
Bright Days
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2010
- Messages
- 4,575
- Reaction score
- 112
Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]
Hmm....I don't want to sound rude or type things that may come off as mean, but I'm gonna do my best to give some truthful constructive criticism. I'm a bit surprised this is Marissa's debut into meeting Gabe and Riley, helping save him from the wild Nidoran. I mean last chapter I pictured Marissa as being near a more "quiet, natural" like area and now she's already at Pewter. I'm quite surprised it seems like Marissa is more "okay" with being in public eye so to speak, given she did escape the facility after being their for years. I'm a tad underwhelmed she showed up as Gabe's savior against the Nidoran family line mainly cause I was expecting a flashier debut, but it's nothing really to cry over. Besides I'm sure the actual meeting and interactions will be much more interesting since, like you said, she is going to be a main character.
I'm guessing the guy at the end was the Big Bad XD
I felt like Gabe's reflection on the fact he isn't completely over his fear turned possible reality of death was interesting.
I also wonder about Riley and Gabe's Frenemship, is that the end of their little scraps and smartass comments to each other? XD Have they grown to care and have more of a mutual relationship toward each other? I guess that forest incident really changed the both of them, I remember how when even when Gabe was knocked out and hurt Riley was all "Wake Up You son of a bitch!" and now he's showing immense concern for him after that Pidgeotto died. Perving on the policewoman after Pidgeotto's death and that morbid self reflection? Gabe's a perv and Riley's funny XD
Hmm....I don't want to sound rude or type things that may come off as mean, but I'm gonna do my best to give some truthful constructive criticism. I'm a bit surprised this is Marissa's debut into meeting Gabe and Riley, helping save him from the wild Nidoran. I mean last chapter I pictured Marissa as being near a more "quiet, natural" like area and now she's already at Pewter. I'm quite surprised it seems like Marissa is more "okay" with being in public eye so to speak, given she did escape the facility after being their for years. I'm a tad underwhelmed she showed up as Gabe's savior against the Nidoran family line mainly cause I was expecting a flashier debut, but it's nothing really to cry over. Besides I'm sure the actual meeting and interactions will be much more interesting since, like you said, she is going to be a main character.
I'm guessing the guy at the end was the Big Bad XD
I felt like Gabe's reflection on the fact he isn't completely over his fear turned possible reality of death was interesting.
I also wonder about Riley and Gabe's Frenemship, is that the end of their little scraps and smartass comments to each other? XD Have they grown to care and have more of a mutual relationship toward each other? I guess that forest incident really changed the both of them, I remember how when even when Gabe was knocked out and hurt Riley was all "Wake Up You son of a bitch!" and now he's showing immense concern for him after that Pidgeotto died. Perving on the policewoman after Pidgeotto's death and that morbid self reflection? Gabe's a perv and Riley's funny XD