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MATURE: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (4) [XIII] [BACK!]

Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

Hmm....I don't want to sound rude or type things that may come off as mean, but I'm gonna do my best to give some truthful constructive criticism. I'm a bit surprised this is Marissa's debut into meeting Gabe and Riley, helping save him from the wild Nidoran. I mean last chapter I pictured Marissa as being near a more "quiet, natural" like area and now she's already at Pewter. I'm quite surprised it seems like Marissa is more "okay" with being in public eye so to speak, given she did escape the facility after being their for years. I'm a tad underwhelmed she showed up as Gabe's savior against the Nidoran family line mainly cause I was expecting a flashier debut, but it's nothing really to cry over. Besides I'm sure the actual meeting and interactions will be much more interesting since, like you said, she is going to be a main character.

I'm guessing the guy at the end was the Big Bad XD

I felt like Gabe's reflection on the fact he isn't completely over his fear turned possible reality of death was interesting.

I also wonder about Riley and Gabe's Frenemship, is that the end of their little scraps and smartass comments to each other? XD Have they grown to care and have more of a mutual relationship toward each other? I guess that forest incident really changed the both of them, I remember how when even when Gabe was knocked out and hurt Riley was all "Wake Up You son of a bitch!" and now he's showing immense concern for him after that Pidgeotto died. Perving on the policewoman after Pidgeotto's death and that morbid self reflection? Gabe's a perv and Riley's funny XD
 
Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

Hmm....I don't want to sound rude or type things that may come off as mean, but I'm gonna do my best to give some truthful constructive criticism.
Go right ahead!

I'm a bit surprised this is Marissa's debut into meeting Gabe and Riley, helping save him from the wild Nidoran. I mean last chapter I pictured Marissa as being near a more "quiet, natural" like area and now she's already at Pewter. I'm quite surprised it seems like Marissa is more "okay" with being in public eye so to speak, given she did escape the facility after being their for years. I'm a tad underwhelmed she showed up as Gabe's savior against the Nidoran family line mainly cause I was expecting a flashier debut, but it's nothing really to cry over. Besides I'm sure the actual meeting and interactions will be much more interesting since, like you said, she is going to be a main character.
The city she used to live in is in a mess, people are attacked and there is blood on the street. Trainers are struggling while the Nidoking are destroying everything on their path. No matter how wary she may seem, she's a good person and I don't see why she wouldn't want to help out. Besides, she has a Pokémon by her side, they need all the help they can get.

Although the next chapter could include the explanation of how she appeared there and why she decided to help out, even if it's blatantly obvious. Oh well.

I'm guessing the guy at the end was the Big Bad XD
I'll leave this one unanswered. In my opinion, there can be more than villain.

I also wonder about Riley and Gabe's Frenemship, is that the end of their little scraps and smartass comments to each other? XD Have they grown to care and have more of a mutual relationship toward each other?
Respect? Maybe. I can agree on them feeling a little closer to each other, though.

Something that happened in the forest picked Riley's interest on Gabe. But no, oh no, this won't be the end of their smartass comments. That's too amusing for me to write so you'll see their "frenemship" quite often. But I'm not intending on having them head down the path of friendships and rainbows anytime soon.

I guess that forest incident really changed the both of them, I remember how when even when Gabe was knocked out and hurt Riley was all "Wake Up You son of a bitch!" and now he's showing immense concern for him after that Pidgeotto died.
It was no immense concern, but I can see what you mean. However:

“You need to let it go, okay? See, this is why you’re such an idiot! Why the hell do you even care? You bear no responsibilities for what happened; that thing would have died anyway!”

Riley is still being harsh.

Perving on the policewoman after Pidgeotto's death and that morbid self reflection? Gabe's a perv and Riley's funny XD
I'd say that Riley's a perv, Gabe simply described her beauty. Also, she was a detective, not a policewoman. :p

Thanks for your thoughts!
 
Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

Hey, Long time no see... Or read... Or anything really. :p

Anyways, I haz returned to check out dem storiez.

lemme see, Marissa... Hmmm. She seems like a good enough idea for a character, I mean I can obviously tell that she is a pivotal character in the plot and is very linked to the overall plot line, so I'm excited to see what her role will be and how Riley and Gabe will react and bond (?) with her in general seeing as ALL these characters seem to have some connection to the madness that is now taking place.

My only issue is Marissa's attitude, she has been suffering under torture for quite some time now and manages to make a complete 180 in the blink of an eye, a feat I find sorta odd. Furthermore, I'm interested to see how Marissa will interact with the Riley and Gabe. I dunno, it just seemed odd, I'll wait and see, but I'm keeping an eye on Marissa.

The latest chapter was pretty good, keeping on par with the overall quality of the previous chapters. But be warned from falling into pattern in the chapters. With a disaster and Pokemon going berserk, you need to make sure to generate and maintain interest without boring the readers, just saying'.

I did notice a few mistakes in the grammar in the two chapters. In "Marissa" you mentioned that the lady had her "bones being fractured" after Marissa knocked her out, I'm pretty sure that wrong. Maybe, "her bones had been fractured" is better?

And in the latest chapter, you wrote that Gabe "feel on the ground" more like "fell" right?

Anywho, good luck and keep on writing!
 
Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

Hey! Good to see you're still alive! :p

My only issue is Marissa's attitude, she has been suffering under torture for quite some time now and manages to make a complete 180 in the blink of an eye, a feat I find sorta odd. Furthermore, I'm interested to see how Marissa will interact with the Riley and Gabe. I dunno, it just seemed odd, I'll wait and see, but I'm keeping an eye on Marissa.
She didn't make a complete 180. It may seem so, but she really didn't.

I guess it's my fault for making it seem that way. ^^;

The latest chapter was pretty good, keeping on par with the overall quality of the previous chapters. But be warned from falling into pattern in the chapters. With a disaster and Pokemon going berserk, you need to make sure to generate and maintain interest without boring the readers, just saying'.
You have a very good point, I'll make sure to remember that!

I did notice a few mistakes in the grammar in the two chapters. In "Marissa" you mentioned that the lady had her "bones being fractured" after Marissa knocked her out, I'm pretty sure that wrong. Maybe, "her bones had been fractured" is better?
And in the latest chapter, you wrote that Gabe "feel on the ground" more like "fell" right?
Correct aaaand correct! Thanks for pointing these out!

Thank you so much for finding time in your already (I assume) very busy life to read some random guy's fanfic. It means a lot to me as well as your comments. I hope you keep on reading! Once again, thanks!
 
Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

Well the ending of the chapter was certainly shocking, I wonder who these guys are but what interested me the most was that Samuel guy...mostly cause of the name.

Anyways overall, I think the chapter might've gone a little too quick, at least in my opinion and there's not really much to comment aside from the fact that I really am curious as to how Gabe's and Marissa's meeting will go.
 
Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

So I haven't been on in a while so I've missed out on alot.
I reread it from the begging

and I must say I absolutely adore this story. It's amazing! Your way of describing is absolutely brilliant!

So somethings that really stuck out to me

was when Gabe and his mom fought in the Lab... the emotion in that scene was amazing and I could just feel every bit it of!
In chapter 4 I think some people where complaining about the flow and that the POV's were changing to much but I actually really liked that chapter and thought It gave everything so depth and range.
I personally really liked that chapter!
Then there was that amazing scene with the Sycther! I loved the fierceness you gave them and how you made them these guardian warriors of the Forrest! and the fact that they killed really made everything so much more realistic which i found absolutely refreshing!
and Marissa I really like her character! I really excited to see where you take her! and her background is very interesting can't wait to see more of that!

and the whole Originals thing has got me extremely interested, I'm guessing Riley is also one and that so is Gabe but he just doesn't know it yet?

I absolutely love were your taking it!


The grammar is really good but there are mistakes but nothing major
One thing I'd really like to see is a little more detailed character descriptions for Gabe, his brother, mother, father, and Riley like you gave Marissa

Please put me back on the tag list :)
I'm looking forward to the next chapter
Very captivating!
 
Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

and the whole Originals thing has got me extremely interested, I'm guessing Riley is also one and that so is Gabe but he just doesn't know it yet?
Maybe, maybe not. Maybe that's what I want you to think, maybe it isn't. :p

Please put me back on the tag list :)
With pleasure! The only reason I had you removed was because I thought you had stopped reading which is why I didn't want to bother you with notifications as I know how annoying they can be. ^^;

I can't thank you enough for all your words of kindness, it really drives me to keep on writing. I hope you keep on reading and I'll be sure to notify you when the next chapter is out! Once again, thank you so much!
 
Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (1) [Chapter X]

Author's Note: Alright folks, the next two chapters (along with this one) will all hold the same name as they're very crucial to this story - these are the events leading up to - well, I guess you already know that. Anyway, the new chapter is up and I really hope that you like it!

Tag List: @Cosmos; @Sai; @Thabet;




Chapter X -​
Our Fates Entangled (1)​


///​

I gasped in awe.

Like a rain of violent annihilating flames, the vortex exploded spreading its flames wildly across the cemented road. The Nidoran screeched in agony and I couldn't help but to feel indifferent - the girl remained persistent however. Driving through the flames like a beast, a furious Nidoking powerfully punched away Riley's Charmander and Scyther along with a third Pokémon, the sheer force of its glowing purple attack sent all of the Pokémon flying towards us in great, although surely painful speed.

"Scyther!" I muttered.

The combat was still taking place as the flames slowly began dying out. My Scyther was still on its feet, barely exchanging blows with the other Nidoking. It's speed completely outmatched the wild poison type though I was afraid that his hits didn't do much damage. I wanted to give out my command, I wanted him to obey me, but I knew it probably wouldn't listen to any single word coming from my mouth.

All I could do was watch; at least, that's what I told myself.

My eyes shifted back at her.

Something about her stance was familiar and nostalgic, it was adamant and yet at the same time unsure. As if she wanted to help us but couldn't wait to flee from the scene; as if she was torn.

"Vulpix, help them with Confuse Ray!"

She shouted at her Pokémon which obeyed at once – it seemed as if they were partners for years. A sinister dark ray left Vulpix’s body before entangling both of the Nidoking in a sort of purplish fog – the ultimate evolutions of Nidoran kept going crazy and hitting everything at their spot ultimately going after each other. Her moment of victory didn’t last for long, though.

“Good, now use –“

Much to our astonishment - the fog suddenly vanished from one Nidoking as a swift release of energy sent Vulpix flying against the nearby wall. Marissa screamed in desperation as Nidoking growled wildly beginning to aim its attacks at people again, even police, whose attacks were futile by now.

“Onix, punish them with your Iron Tail!”

His voice was adamant and manly, I turned around at once to glance at a man riding a giant rock creature, it was a true giant – I had never seen a Pokémon that large before. The creature named Onix growled insanely loudly before slamming the two Nidoking with its unbreakable Iron Tail, the rocks at the bottom of its tail transforming into solid iron. Despite its immense heaviness, the Pokémon moved at amazing speed as if it was bypassing the laws of physics; I couldn't help but feel amazed.

“Brock is here!”

The exhausted trainers cheered as I instantly recognized the man as Brock, “the rock-solid Pokémon Trainer”.

“Dragonbreath!” He jumped off the rock-solid Pokémon with no difficulty.

I found myself shocked by his command as I was completely unaware of the fact Onix was capable of learning such move by that point on; I could only observe in an utter state of surprise as wild, uniquely blue flames engulfed the enraging Nidoking, eventually finishing them off.

For a moment, everything seemed to stop.

"Brock! Brock! Brock! Brock!"

The crowd began cheering along with the trainers as the injured Pokémon formed small groups beginning to withdraw from the area seeming completely confused by everything. The two Nidoking regained their senses as well; they let out a wild growl before following after the injured Nidoran. They simply left leaving most of us dumbfounded.

Nothing made sense to me.

“What the hell? You can’t just let them leave like this!”

Riley complained in an instance though Brock seemed to have a different mindset.

“I don’t believe they did this on purpose, therefore, whatever has been influencing them seems to have stopped. For now, we’ll take care of the injured ones.”

I exhaled in strange relief beginning to look for the girl eagerly.

As I would shortly find out, though, she was nowhere to be found.


*
Marissa


She shouldn't have done it.

Or maybe she should have, she didn't really know.

All she truly knew was that sudden nostalgia overtook her heart and mind as she ran through the historical streets of her former home, Pewter. She felt frightened, endangered and yet small parts of her felt lively, the sudden rush of adrenaline making her blood boil. She inhaled and exhaled several times at once trying to calm herself beginning to wonder what prompted her to intervene, what evoked her to make a move during the disaster. Marissa had just recently arrived in this rocky place and soon as she stumbled upon the disaster in the city center, she felt split apart between her own fears and wishes and the right thing to do.

She was torn, full of doubts - though Vulpix, who was eager to help out, pushed her over the edge.

The fear of being recognized, fear of being taken away intertwined with the pleasure of being able to help save someone's life - the pleasure of being able to help save your former city. She wanted something different for once; she wanted to feel different; she wanted to be something other than a monster on the loose.

Marissa wanted to be someone else.

"I must get to the Pokémon Center," she muttered slowly moving her hand through Vulpix's mildly warm fur. The flame Pokémon was still conscious albeit quite tired with a massive back injury being the cause of its pain. Marissa faced Vulpix's bright eyes suddenly realizing she knew what to do.

"You will get better, I promise."

She subtly reached for her hair failing to remember she had been given a makeover by Liv. That's right, she looked different. She would probably go unnoticed, probably, she thought. But even if the risk was too high, Vulpix needed some medical attention. And for the sake of all the nice things Liv did for her, Vulpix would get better - even if it meant endangering her freedom once again.

It was a promise she had made to herself.

It was a promise she had made to Liv.


///

Pewter city's Pokémon Center was in some quite of a rush that morning as the ambulance was packed with injured Pokémon and their trainers. Nurses kept constantly running across the hallway as my ears perceived numerous complaints from the side of other trainers who were either just released from the ambulance or were waiting to get their medical attention. Needless to say, they weren't pleased by Brock's action.

"You know, I respect Brock. But what he did just now was completely stupid."

"I know, we should have killed them all at once! Did you just see how much damage they caused? How much trouble they caused us all? How much pain they caused? Brock should have known better than that."

I sighed in distress.

As much as I hated admitting it, they had a point. All my life I spent convincing myself that Pokémon were kind creatures meant to live together with humans in harmony and all that other crap. The incident in the forest, however, planted the dark seed of doubt deep within my consciousnesses leading me to believe how that wasn't always the case - it forced me to learn that the hard way. Some Pokémon were simply born to be wild, born to attack everything on their path, born to be monsters.

And as much as I wanted to believe that something completely unnatural did drive those Pokémon to the point of insanity, I simply found it to be too ridiculous of an excuse for me to buy it.

My thoughts quickly diverged back to her.

"Gabriel! How's your leg?"

I felt an unusual feeling in my stomach; it was Riley.

"It's fine," I looked down at my bandaged leg - it was already taken care of thanks to Nurse Joyce being willing to help me out as soon as I arrived. Riley nodded placing his arms in pockets; the silence was full of tension.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Where's your Scyther?" He spoke it without hesitation.

His voice had a certain tone to it.

"I ... don't know," I looked away in slight shame.

"You don't know? You just left it there?" he asked seeming mildly surprised.

"It wouldn't have listened to me anyway."

"Is there anything resembling a small piece of brain in that giant head of yours? Don't you remember what I told you back in the forest? Don't be pathetic, go and get your Pokémon back!"

Now he was angry.

"It's disobeying me! It belongs in the wild!" I remained persistent.

"Did you even try to make it listen to you?"

"No, and what point are you trying to make here anyway?"

"Oh. Let me guess, you've assumed that everything will probably get solved by itself, right?"

"I never wanted the damn Pokémon anyway! You forced me to accept it!"

"That's because if certain someone maybe had a Pokémon, the situation wouldn't have gotten out of control."

"Are you blaming me for what happened?"

"I'm not blaming anyone; I'm just stating the facts."

"You know what? Screw you and your facts. I'm out of here!"

I rushed to stand on my feet as I headed down the hall towards the exit. At that moment, someone suddenly yelled at the others forcing them to shut up. The other, much fainter tone got louder as I looked behind me - almost all of the trainers were paying attention to the television. The volume was cracked up until the man's words could be completely understandable.

" ... as we've just been informed, similar cases seem to have occurred in the middle of Pewter city where the Pokémon on rampage destroyed many buildings leading to dozens of victims. In addition, the Safari Zone of Fuchsia has been completely devastated - several unfortunate deaths seem to have taken place. The curiosity here is that the Pokémon who have suddenly gone wild seem to have returned to their normal state. The cause of their actions is still unknown but I can assure you that our Ministry of Defense and its best scientists will make sure to find out the cause of this incident."

"Do you already have any suspicions; possible explanations?" another reporter asked.

"Well, it IS possible that some kind of virus may have driven these Pokémon wild though all we have so far are assumptions based on speculation and scientific observation."

The reporters flashed with their cameras in front of the man going completely wild and all in order to simply ask him some further questions. The man, going by the name August Lewis, smiled gently slicking back his dark hair before disappearing from the stage. Noise suddenly resumed in the room as I exchanged looks with Riley.

I frowned at my way out.

"Ouch," I gasped upon feeling sheer pain run through my head. Gently brushing my forehead, I looked in front of me. It was the girl from before, once again, this time with a Vulpix in her hands. I thought that maybe she had recognized me; her eyes, so innocent and pure, glanced through the room as if looking for a solution.

She seemed to stare me. Did she recognize me?

I was wrong.

She rushed past me as if I was a ghost. I smiled to myself; of course she wouldn't recognize me, I thought.

I was nothing but a stranger to her.


* *​


"Ugh, my dear Samuel, it's tough being so formal in front of the reporters."

"And yet," he smiled, "you make it seem so easy, you lying bastard."

August laughed charmingly adjusting his bloodily red tie. The room was gray and empty as always with the two guards at the door being the only humans aside from August and Samuel.

"It would seem that our virus wasn't quite as successful as we imagined it to be."

"What do you mean, we?" The dark haired man clenched his teeth. "You forced me. None of that was my intention."

"Oh yes, it seems that I have, haha, silly me," he laughed shortly. "Anyway," he continued, "the virus was supposed to make these monsters die out and yet - somehow they managed to fight it even though it resulted in total chaos. It would seem that someone didn't put quite enough effort in making this virus as strong as it was supposed to be."

Samuel remained silent.

"It doesn't really matter, though; the virus does not need any further development. As long as it remains present in high doses, I'm very assured that everything will go according the plan."

"Your plan? To eradicate our Pokémon?"

Pain. Sharp pain was followed by his words in form of a fierce slap as August's body began trembling, his face turning red and furious. He firmly grabbed Samuel's face with his hands paying no attention to his pain.

"No," he replied coldly, "to eradicate monsters, those impure creatures that have tarnished our planet since the beginning of time. Someone needs to take a stand, and that someone, will be me. Though, I do need your help on one last bit, my dear Sammy."

Tears suddenly emerged in Samuel's eyes.

"I ... can't do this anymore."

"Aw, you poor thing."

August grinned maliciously snapping his fingers. A man of long, raven black hair suddenly emerged with a humanoid-like Pokémon levitating by its side; the Pokémon wielded over two spoons with its psychic abilities. The man suddenly threw another person on the ground; a young man with its body tied.

"What..?" the poor man whispered.

August cautiously made his way around Samuel taking a close approach to his ear.

"Oh my, it's your son!" He grinned upon the sight of his own cruelsness.

"DAMIAN!" Samuel shouted out, unable to control his emotions.

"Dad?" His voice was shaky and full of fright and confusion. "Dad, is that you?"

"So, I assume you and I can still make an arrangement, huh, my dear Sammy?"


///


"What? 40 missed calls?"

It was the first time I had my cellphone turned on since the forest fire occurred and the number of missed calls was completely unnerving. And as I would soon find out, I had reasons to be concerned.

It rang for a second before someone swiftly answered the phone.

She was panting heavily.

"Mom? Mom, what happened? Are you okay? Is Damian okay?"

She continued panting; I could barely understand her words.

"Damian, your brother ... your brother ... he's gone."


To Be Continued…
 
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Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (1) [Chapter X]

DAMN!

That was a really good plot twist at the end, I mean I'm assuming it's Gabriel father and if so; to know that he's still alive even after all those years is a really good way to turn things around.

I really liked this chapter, though I was in a reading mood today so you're lucky xD point is that this chapter was really good, it had a good enough pace, it had plot developtment as well as some character developtment regarding Gabe, and the twist at the end pretty much clinched everything.

I don't think this is a journey fic anymore honestly, it's steadily growing into its own type of fic, I think that if you can keep up with it you can really create a great fic, just keep doing other chapters like this.

I'll be waiting for the second part of this two parter and see what happens at the end of it all, maybe Gabe and Marissa can finally meet xD
 
Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (1) [Chapter X]

Ok, I really liked this chapter overall, from the battle at the beginning to the quarrel between Gabe and Riley to the twist ending that was to say the least shocking.

I just want you to make sure you keep the consistency of these great chapters throughout, so don't slack off. ;)

And like @Stellar Haze; said it looks like this is changing from a journey to something else, something more like a perilous adventure. I'll also be looking forward to the second and third parts of "Our Fates Entangled."

Good luck. :D
 
Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (1) [Chapter X]

I really liked this chapter, though I was in a reading mood today so you're lucky xD
Are you saying you wouldn't have liked it otherwise? xD

I'll be waiting for the second part of this two parter and see what happens at the end of it all, maybe Gabe and Marissa can finally meet xD
Actually, it's planned to be a three-parter. Though we'll see how things go, I might even add the fourth part.

Ok, I really liked this chapter overall, from the battle at the beginning to the quarrel between Gabe and Riley to the twist ending that was to say the least shocking.
I am so happy everyone liked the twist! Everybody likes a good twist, now and then. :D

I just want you to make sure you keep the consistency of these great chapters throughout, so don't slack off. ;)
I'll do my best, thanks!

Thank you guys for reading and commenting, it means so much to me! I'm also very glad to hear that you liked the twist, though you might find yourself surprised by another one or two plot twists in the near future. Anyway, there's one more thing I have to say.

Upon the conclusion of 'Our Fates Entangled', a second part of the story will commence! I'm currently not set on the number of parts this story will consist off, though I'm aware of the plot points and possible new characters that have a high chance of getting introduced. I'm doing this in order to keep things fresh so you might as well consider the second part like a sort of second season.

Thanks for all your support, I don't think I'd have made it this far without you guys!
 
Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (1) [Chapter X]

Hello! What do we have here, a MAJOR plot twist you say? Interesting...

Probably my favorite part in the chapter was when Marissa was thinking and debating with herself over saving Gaberial and taking her Vulpix to the Pokemon Center. It gives alot of depth to the character. But the part where Samuel isn't dead is really surprising, and he's working with the bad guys. Le Gasp!

Can't wait to see how the characters are going to deal with this...
 
Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (1) [Chapter X]

Hello! What do we have here, a MAJOR plot twist you say? Interesting...
Wow, everyone seem to consider this major, haha!

But the part where Samuel isn't dead is really surprising, and he's working with the bad guys. Le Gasp!
Yeah, but he's obviously doing it willingly! :p

Can't wait to see how the characters are going to deal with this...
Me neither, especially how a certain character will react.

Thank you for reading and commenting, Thabet/Starbrow/etc. Like I said, it means a lot to me! :)
 
Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (2) [Chapter XI]

Before I post this chapter, I'd like thank all my current readers because I'm certain that I wouldn't have made it this far without your comments and support, those were the vital things that kept me writing this story. Needless to say, this is the biggest amount of chapters I have ever written as this is the longest fic I've ever had (which is a bit embarrassing) and that alone speaks for itself. So, thank you, everyone! This is all because of you!

With no further ado, I present to you - chapter 11.
@Sai; @Thabet; @Cosmos;

Oh, and I apologize for the double post. ^^;



Chapter XI - Our Fates Entangled (2)


The human body is a truly an enigma. In fact, I have always found myself genuinely stunned by this fact, while admiring it at the same time, how a human body – under the right amount of pressure while overflowing with adrenaline, could achieve all sorts of great feats allowing it overcome even the hardest of tasks with difficulty, under sudden outburst of strength or stamina seemingly coming out of nowhere. Similarly, despite all the rush of stress and panic that was going on inside of me, I was stunned by my capabilities, especially my ability to overcome the limits I never knew I could overcome, or that I possessed. As such, making it halfway across the Viridian Forest, or at least what was left of it, in about ten minutes was no difficult task for me.

I was in a massive state of hysteria.

Following my mother's phone call and her fearsome words, I found myself running through the remains of the now chillingly colorless Viridian Forest like a lunatic paying no attention to the, now completely distorted, world around me.

I never ran so badly in my entire life, but then again, I never cared so badly.

You could say that I was scared, shocked, desperate, but surprised? No, I was everything but surprised. After my father died, my brother's career going haywire and all of it leading to my mother's despair and my eventual sickness - was there anything left? Of course, someone would have attacked my brother or killed him, it was yet another sadistic, dark and utterly twisted joke that the person who others refer to as "God" had played on us. You could say that someone up there was already beating the dead horse, because that's what my family ultimately was, something perished, something beaten up and led to the point of evanescence.

Strangely, I thought of my mother. How was she doing?

She couldn't have been more broken after I left, and now… he was gone too.

I immediately stopped.

Shedding the first tears of regret ever since I left, I felt sadness, that deep remorse for leaving a poor woman behind, regret of not being able to forgive the woman who went through shit to take care of us. I exhaled deeply, grabbing the rough surface of the charred tree.

"Pull yourself together," I whispered to myself plucking for the pieces of its bark.

I inhaled once more and then kept on running.

Viridian wasn't far away now and within minutes of painful activity I knew as I was running that I had managed to reach the main street, right outside the path leading into the forest. I felt nostalgic upon looking back at the colorless remains of something that used to be so full of life, full of bright colors.

It was yet another reminder to me that nothing stayed the same.

Everything changes, within a second, your whole life can be twisted around - become something painful or even something joyful, as rare as it is, it can become something you never before knew as your own life. Though what saddened me the most was the fact, that while all that was good and joyful would ultimately find its end someday, everything else that was dark and corrupted would remain existing, keeping its shadowy roots of despair widespread.

Nothing ever stays the same.


///


Step by step.

Unable to run in all my tiredness, that's how I kept moving, a step by step. One step at a time and then the other one - each one defining a single move made by me, the unique me, the essence of myself - the being that makes me who I am. Make a single wrong step and you're dead; that's how tricky life is. It was funny, because, my whole life I always made the right steps. I always obeyed and I thought living would be easier that way. And then, when I learned of my disease, I took my first step in wrong direction, by developing some sort of inner hatred towards her, by not being able to understand my mother, by not being able to forgive her.

It didn't help.

It seemed as if, no matter which step I made, things would always go wrong.

I stopped, taking a long, nostalgia-driven gaze at my home. With my last remaining bits of strength, I ran towards the door rushing into the house; aroma of her cooking once again overwhelmed my senses.

"Mom," I barely muttered under influence of conflicting emotions.

In the company of professor Amaryllis, she suddenly forced her legs up instantly wiping her tears and fixing her same old, hazel brown hair. I didn't move and nor did she. Her leg suddenly twitched as if she was going to approach me, though she stopped at once as if something kept her from moving. She clapped her hands together not even bothering to let the waterfall of her tears cease; I realized that she was afraid of my reaction, afraid of what I'd say, of what I'd do if she even tried to approach me.

Perhaps it was time for me to make the right step again.

I smiled upon realization.

Before she could realize what was happening, I found myself tightly embracing her tiny body, feeling her warmness and her subtle shivering. "I'm sorry," I whispered the words.

Those fateful words, the ones she probably desired to hear for a while - the words of a son to his mother, a son regretting his actions, a son wishing to turn back the clock in order to erase his sins. We had both sinned, but at the very end, this wasn't a perfect family and we weren't perfect people and I was quite far from being a perfect son. But despite all that, somehow, in the epitome of all this sadness and despair, I had managed to reach forgiveness.

She reached for my hand firmly.

"Are you staying?"

"Yes," I softly spoke out, "I'm staying as long as it takes."


-​

"When did you realize he was gone?"

My feet couldn't stand still due the impulsive anxiety running through my body, I failed to remain calm and composed - something I should have been in front of my worrywart mother but couldn't. I couldn't understand how my brother could disappear without a trace; it was a frustratingly helpless feeling. Led by that emotion, I walked through every single inch of our everlastingly unchanged living room.

Funny, everything but our house seemed to change; our house always stayed the same.

"Two days ago. I called him at work but his employer said he didn't show up at all. I wasn't worried at first; I thought that he maybe had a date or something. But he didn't come home, Gabriel. And then I tried calling you to see if maybe you had any idea, if maybe he went to see you but... "

We shortly exchanged looks. Seemingly frustrated by my presence, Professor Amaryllis didn't seem overly happy what my mother had to say which led her to confronting me.

"You know, I don't understand how you could leave your cell phone off the whole time. Do you have any idea how concerned your mother was? And don’t let me even begin about the whole Viridian forest fiasco. How could you be senseless like that? She was worried sick! You could have called, you know?"

"Hey, do you have any idea how-"

"No," she cut me off, "there is no excuse for that. What you did was immature and senseless!"

I looked back at Mom; her eyes were focused at the floor.

"I'm sorry, okay! Look, could we not argue right now? There are bigger problems!"

"So you're saying you don't know anything about your brother at all?"

"No," I shortly answered. "Did you call the police?"

"Of course, we called the police," she answered annoyingly. "And when was our police of help anyway?"

"True," I mumbled uneasily.

"Jenna," she laid her hand on her shoulder, "I have to go now, but please call me if there are any news, okay?" She nodded at her words escorting her to the door; her cold glare was still fixated at me.

"Senseless idiot," she added.

"Crazy witch," I remarked while smiling innocently.

The door shut leaving behind a fragrance of delicious berries, I smiled unconsciously. It was probably her new perfume; she always had a strange taste, that silly woman. Disregarding the abrupt thought, I walked to my mother sitting myself next to her. We both remained silent until one of us decided to speak.

"How ... are you doing? You know. Are you doing fine?"

She meant the cancer. I suddenly came to realization that she wasn't aware of anything; in sudden strike of guilt, I began speaking - her deep emerald green eyes were gleaming with worry.

"Wait, so the drugs are helping you? And who is Mr. Alstrom? Did he cover our bills?"

"Yes. Julian is Riley's father."

"Oh, that nice young man who accompanied you?"

"No, I accompanied him. And he isn't nice," I remarked smilingly.

"If he isn't nice, why are you accompanying him?"

It was a tough question alright, even tougher to answer on.

"Gabriel," she reached for my hand, "please tell me everything. I've been doing nothing but crying and panicking for these two days and I... I need to get my mind off things. How was your journey so far?"

Thus, I began speaking.


*​

"Ah!"

He yelled in discomfort upon suddenly emerging in a grassy field overflowing with colorful flowers, the grassy field of Pallet. His bandages were off and he could clearly see that he was no longer being held captive. He kept the smile for himself in the wake of irritating confusion.

"What the hell was all that about? Was that my father? Where is he?"

He rushed to get up; the slim man of long dark hair didn't respond to his words.

"Why did you let me go?" Damian pursued to yell.

"Kid, you ask too many questions. I don't need to explain myself to you. All that man needed was some motivation to get his job done. Now that he found it, there's nothing standing in our way."

"Someone is holding my father captive! Why? You need to help me, please."

"Now listen kid, do not mistake my actions for something else, alright? There is only one person I take orders from and it ain't the trash of a man who's keeping your father restrained."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Make sure to let you family know," he added before teleporting away once again.

The field continuously cherished by people of Pallet town - it was the Pallet Flower Field - one of the few reminders that nature in their world was going to hell and they did everything in their power to keep a momentum of such a glorious existence. Damian took a long look; the gleeful beauty of this area sharply contrasted his inner turmoil. He had to get back home, his mother Jenna needed to know.

Gabriel needed to know.


-​


"I'm sorry to hear that. But it all sounds really exciting! Isn't that the reason you left in the first place?"

Maybe. I had forgotten. I initially thought it was because I wanted to accomplish something. In fact, I still wanted to do that but with my lack of trainer abilities - there was no way I could ever become a trainer. Maybe it was due to my lack of will, perhaps I should have returned for Scyther, forced it to listen to me. Even after Riley caught it and gave it to me probably with good intentions, I simply released it. Was I that childish that I couldn't even admit I was wrong?

"Maybe," I muttered feeling lightheaded.

"Gabriel?" She said slowly.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I was selfish. I am sorry, I burned Samuel's letter - you should have gotten to read it as well. I know I'm a failure of a mother and that I don't even deserve to call myself one," tears emerged with each word she spoke out.

"Mom, I can't even imagine everything you had to go through simply in order to keep Damien and me from starving, the pain you had to go through, the hard work you had to go through - I can't even express in words how grateful I am, to you, for being there for us. I love you, Mom."

"Do you really mean it? Do you really forgive me?"

"Only if you can forgive me for being ... senseless and immature, like the professor said."

"Of course I can," she proceeded to hugging me.

There it was again - that strange feeling of warmness emanating from her. Or was it me? The moment of serenity in the few seconds in which she hugged me seemed to last forever. But then once more, my thoughts shifted back at my brother, who was missing.

"Where is he?" I asked not expecting an answer.


-​

The door suddenly burst widely.

"Damian!"

Needless to say, both Mom and I were shocked to witness Damian emerge through that door - it was a moment of short disbelief. Mom instinctively got up from her feet running to embrace him as I stood and smiled in bewilderment. He looked perfectly fine, no signs of injuries were visible, and not a single scratch seemed to be present. His face however, despite happiness, expressed something else - it expressed shock and a state of confusion - he was fazed by something and we had yet to realize how drastic his words would turn out to be.

"Are you okay?" I asked touching his shoulder, he shook his head approaching the sofa in silence.

"Are you hurt? Where were you?" Mom was persistent.

"No, I'm fine. Someone ... someone took me somewhere."

Unwillingly?" I sharply responded with a question; he nodded.

"But you're okay, right? They didn't do anything to you?"

"Mom, I'm not okay ..." his tone of voice suddenly dropped; he peered his tearful eyes right at me as if readying himself to announce something shocking, something major.

Though nothing could prepare me for what he was about to say.

"It's Dad, he ... he's alive."


To Be Continued


What a cliffhanger, right? We're slowly but safely approaching the second part of this fic ... :)
 
Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (2) [Chapter XI]

Well I thought this chapter was just great, one of the best even.

The best part in my opinion was the beginning, you portrayed Gabe's character impeccably. And the scene with him and Jenna was heartwarming.

Oh, and since I'm your beta-reader probably nobody other than I will be able to point out grammatical mistakes -unless I miss something- so I'll be pointing them out from now on... but in the PMs. :p
 
Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (1) [Chapter X]

Part 1

Sucker Punch of the century, wow. So Gabe's daddy is working with the big bad it seems. Doesn't look like anything he "wants" to do though. Marissa and Vulpix being Gabe's salvation was a nice scene as well, as it highlighted to an extent Gabe's unwilling trust in Scyther in comparison to Marissa and Vulpix's near perfect faith in each other despite only recently meeting and Vulpix being Liv's Pokemon. I really liked Marissa's concern for Vulpix, it shows she cares a lot for Vulpix is it's a very endearing and adoring scene in her character that was portrayed nicely, given she seems to be somewhat avoiding contact with many people. Riley's line to Gabe and the concern he showed was nice as well, I liked how Gabe got mad and left. I liked how you've highlighted Gabe's fear of death more by showing his fear toward Scyther and looking at "him"? "Her"? As more of a monster in a sense. Something I also suggest doing is giving genders to your Pokemon, makes you feel more connected to them as characters and related to them, it's understandable with Gabe and his Scyther to an extent as Gabe doesn't seem to want anything to do with it so I doubt he would care about the gender. But, Marissa and her Vulpix have nice harmony with each other so Marissa referring to Vulpix by its gender instead of "it" would feel so natural and show she knows it to an extent. Otherwise it was a nice chapter ^^

Part 2

So, Gabe left Riley and Marissa back in Viridian City? o_0 He released Scyther too, interesting. Damian was kidnapped and reveals that their father is indeed very much alive and well, but working for a very bad man. Hm...interesting, I liked the Amaryliss scene too, you really did nicely ont he interactions in particular, nice imagery and description too. You really feel Gabe's sorrow a bit, and his mom is really sweet and we finally find out her name is Jenna. I'm looking forward to what will happen next, since Gabe has no Pokemon anymore.
 
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Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (2) [Chapter XI]

This was a great chapter, alot of emotion and feelings here, which is something I particularly enjoy about this story since you do it so well. I dunno, maybe it's just because you write from Gabe POV? When you read it, you actually feel like this is actually written by the character himself, rather than a third person writer. That is a sign that you're beginning to master the first person POV. Well done.

Just a question, to perhaps get to a reason to why Gabe's POV is so well done. Are Gabe's thoughts and emotions stemming from your own? I mean, have you ever experienced any of the emotions you depict?
 
Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (2) [Chapter XI]

The best part in my opinion was the beginning, you portrayed Gabe's character impeccably. And the scene with him and Jenna was heartwarming.
Oh it was? That's a relief. You know, I was actually wondering whether I should have had Gabriel forgiving his mother on the very start or at the end of the chapter since I felt like having it done at the very beginning would seem rushed. But then I figured that it's only natural that such event would cause Gabriel to immediately rethink his decisions. It was easier this way too.

Oh, and since I'm your beta-read probably nobody other than I will be able to point out grammatical mistakes -unless I miss something- so I'll be pointing them out from now on... but in the PMs. :p
Oh, you're very welcome to do that! :p

Something I also suggest doing is giving genders to your Pokemon, makes you feel more connected to them as characters and related to them, it's understandable with Gabe and his Scyther to an extent as Gabe doesn't seem to want anything to do with it so I doubt he would care about the gender. But, Marissa and her Vulpix have nice harmony with each other so Marissa referring to Vulpix by its gender instead of "it" would feel so natural and show she knows it to an extent. Otherwise it was a nice chapter ^^
You're probably right since Vulpix will remain an important character, or at least a Pokémon character. I'm very glad that you liked the twist as well, thank you for your compliments!

When you read it, you actually feel like this is actually written by the character himself, rather than a third person writer. That is a sign that you're beginning to master the first person POV. Well done.
Thank you very much! I do my best to incorporate Gabriel's feelings, emotions and beliefs in many things he says.

I mean, have you ever experienced any of the emotions you depict?
That's an interesting question. Hmm, I don't know, I pretty much see Gabriel as a foil of mine. If I were a character, Gabriel would be my foil. Because, he knows he's going to die and instead of wasting his time on getting better, he decides to leave and take the best from life or at least that's what he believes. I'm not sure if I could ever do the same thing, if I could just leave - unlike him, I'd probably settle for therapies, I wouldn't have as much courage as he does.

Gabriel was rejected by people when he moved to Viridian. Me? I never moved but the reason I wasn't quite as social was due to me isolating myself from others due to huge social anxiety. But in terms of being emotional, I believe both Gabriel and I are on the same wavelength - we're both quite emotional. Also, as well as Gabriel, I have an older brother. Though I do believe in God, unlike him, despite occasionally questioning his motives behind things - which is where Gabe's stance on God probably stem from.
 
Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (2) [Chapter XI]

Well that cliffhanger was expected since I had already figured out that it was his dad xD but overall I liked the chapter cause it finally settled the ties between Gabe and his mother. It was a good way to settle their problems, but I felt like the chapter was a little bit rushed and honestly, I expected more action xD you know since the first part left me hooked and all that.
 
Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (2) [Chapter XI]

Finally caught up! I said I'd read and review all of the fics that won awards, so I figured I'd start with this one since you read Unpredictable and I read the first version of this. I'm really tired right now so forgive me if this review is a little weird. If I had the time and energy I'd have gone chapter by chapter, but I hope an overall review is sufficient. First off, a couple things I wanted to point out:

“This whole life is one big mess of a trouble. I’m afraid that whether we manage to stay out of problems or not is not our decision at all. That’s just how life works.”

This was a powerful line. I don't know if you did it on purpose, but this sounds an awful lot like destiny, which Gabe is so opposed to the idea of.

The most powerful Pokémon such as Magneton and Haunter centered their attacks at the outrageous Nidoking who didn’t seem to spare anyone.

Magneton? Against a part ground-type? Seems a poor allocation of resources. I like that you made them second tier Pokemon, and Nidoking incredibly strong. It shows the rarity and power of fully evolved Pokemon.

And now on to the general comments and criticisms:

PLOT: There is a very obvious difference between the plot of this version and the first version of the fic. You have set it all up quite well, with lots of seemingly random side stories that all seem to be tying together. As has been mentioned before, I fear that Gabriel's cancer will become forgotten in lieu of the bigger story. The disease is imperative to the setup of the plot, but in the last couple chapters I feel like its been shunted aside. I understand that you can't and shouldn't bring it up every chapter, but I feel like it isn't all that important to the story anymore. What is focused on, however, I have no problems with. The plot is brilliantly crafted with lots of twists and turns that keep me reading. This is definitely not a journey fic, although that may just be bitterness that I had to compete against you in the awards xP

CHARACTERS: Your characters are very well done. I can't say that I like them all, per se, but they are intriguing, evocative, play out their parts of the story very well. Damien seems to be much more important to the story this time around, and I like him a lot as a character. I feel like he and Gabe should act a little differently around each other given their implied animosity at the beginning of the story. Even with all the things that have happened, you'd think that their sudden friendliness would be a little more awkward and guilt ridden. That's your choice, though. Gabriel is also a good main character, if a little easily distracted and filled with angst. I like your portrayal of his thoughts and emotions, very real. I can't pass judgment on Marissa quite yet, as she has jumped around quite a bit in personality since she was introduced. As was pointed out by someone else, she seems to have changed quite suddenly since her escape. You'd think she would carry more psychological scars. Jenna is top notch. Sometimes I just want to slap some sense into her, but you do a great job portraying how much she relies on having people to love. Very powerful emotionally. I haven't forgotten that she was the closest competition to the only Workshop award I've ever gotten ;P Riley is a great character too, drawing out a different side of Gabriel (which is one of the key purposes of supporting characters in my opinion). I hope we see more of him. Also, I don't know if you were doing this on purpose, but their seems to be some implied... oddness, I guess, about him. Particularly that "hallucination." Weird stuff.

WRITING: You're very hit and miss in this department. Here and there I'll find grammatical or punctuation errors that are quite jarring and jerk me out of my immersion in the story. Especially the quotation marks in some of the early chapters. You don't have to go fix them, but what was up with that? I'll leave all that up to your beta reader, though. Your ability to evoke emotion through environmental descriptions or mental explanations is an amazing tool that you use to perfection. I love the attention to detail in the parts that are supposed to be visually provocative, but at the same time you don't bore the reader with descriptions of things that don't matter. Dialogue-wise, I wasn't really struck by anything in particular except the bickering between Riley and Gabe, which was quite amusing. The emotional bits had decent dialogue, but it got a little formal at parts (you had the same problem with a lot of Marissa's dialogue). I make that same mistake all the time. We're nerds, it happens. If you'd like I can go back and point out exactly what I mean.

OVERALL: This story has the ever so uncommon quality of being able to immerse the reader. Even a lot of the fics that I really enjoy lack the ability to draw my attention in and hold it for eleven chapters (and one prologue). I'm glad that it's back and I sincerely hope that you have the fortitude to carry this story through to the end (a rare feat in fanfiction).
 
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