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Anime Funny Cartoon/Anime/Animated Movie Quotes

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Cartman: [to Kyle] Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!

Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?

Cartman: Jew?

Kyle: No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!

Mr. Garrison: Kyle!

Cartman: Why the fuck not?

Mr. Garrison: Eric!

Stan: Dude, you just said "fuck" again!

Mr. Garrison: Stanley!

Kenny: Fuck!

Mr. Garrison: Kenny!

Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck.

Mr. Garrison: [angrily] How would you like to go see the school counselor?

Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?

[the whole class gasps]

Mr. Garrison: [furiously] What did you say?

Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...

[Cartman picks up a megaphone]

Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?

[Mr. Garrison is so furious that no word comes out of his mouth]

Stan: Holy shit, dude.
 
Incoming Cowboy Bebop Quotes:

  • Spike: Uh, listen Jet. You said "bell peppers and beef." There's no beef in here. So you wouldn't really call it "bell peppers and beef," now would you?
  • Jet: Yes, I would.
  • Spike: Well, it's *not*!
  • Jet: It is when you're broke!

  • Spike: Jet, did you know that there are three things that I perticually hate?
  • Jet: Really?
  • Spike: Kids, animals, and women with attitudes.
  • Jet: Ugh.
  • Spike: So tell me Jet, WHY DO WE HAVE ALL THREE OF THEM NEATLY GATHERED ON OUR SHIP!!!!



  • Jet: Why would the kind of two-bit hood who usually rob convenient stores suddenly attack an Astral Gate?
  • Spike: I don’t know. Maybe it’s a new fad for criminals.
  • Faye: Right, hey kids if you’re a fashion-conscious young hood, remember that cute girl won’t even look your way unless you knock over an Astral Gate. Do it today! You mean like that?
 
Avatar: the Last Airbender
"Drink cactus juice! It'll quench ya! Nothing's quenchier! IT'S THE QUENCHIEST!" - Sokka hopped up on cactus juice
"It's a giant mushroom... MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY! FRIENDLY MUSHROOM! Mushy giant friend!" - Sokka, still hopped up on cactus juice.
"In my dream, FOOD EATS PEOPLE." Sokka, NOT hopped up on cactus juice.

Lilo and Stitch
Jumba: "WHAAAAT?! After all you put me through, you expect me to HELP you just like that?! JUST LIKE THAT?!"
Stitch: "Ih."
Jumba: "... Fine."
Pleakley: "'Fine?' You're doing what he says?"
Jumba: "He's very persuasive!
Pleakley: "Persuasive?!"
And then a few seconds later, you find out "ih" is Stitch-ese for "yes."

Aladdin
"Tell her the TRUUUTH!" - Genie, lecturing Aladdin.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (the show where the guy and his robot buddies watch crappy b-movies and make jokes about them)
Episode: Pod People
Annoying kid in the movie: "Do you know what playing is, Trumpy?"
Crow: (as Trumpy) "Yes, it's where I break you in half."

Transformers Animated
Blitzwing (crazy split personality Decepticon with three rotating faces like Man-E-Faces from He-Man)
Icy Blitzwing: "As usual, Blackarachnia, your demeanor is as unpleasant as zat accursed organic mode of yours."
Blackarachnia: "Blow it out your actuator, three-face."
Hothead Blitzwing: "ZE NAME IS BLITZWING, INSECT! REMEMBAH IT, 'CAUSE IT'S ZE LAST THING YOU'RE GONNA HERE BEFORE I-"
Random Blitzwing: "Expresz my feelingz in song! Ze itsy bitsy spider crawled up ze water spout, down came ze rain and washed ze spider out!"

Transformers Beast Wars
Blackarachnia: Why are you always talking to yourself?
Megatron: I simply have a penchant for intelligent conversation, yeess.

Homestar Runner
"Carageenan, Monteljohn. Can you detect me to the nearest bus stamp?" - Senor Cardgage
"My name's Millions, and IiIiI'm the son of a chipwich!" - Homsar
 
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Squidward: Spongebob, no matter what I've said, I've always sort of liked you.
Spongebob: SQUIDWARD I USED YOUR CLARINET TO UNCLOG MY TOILET!
Squidward: Huh?

Doofenshmirtz: I wish I didn't eat so much. Speaking of wishes, you know what I never understood? Genies. They tell you to with for anything you want and then throw in some horrible twist like say you wish to jump higher so he turns you into a frog. Why? I mean who gains from this, the genie?

Doofenshmirtz: Wait, wait, Perry the Platypus. Where are you... Where are you going? Wait! Wait! My evil plan isn't evil enough for you to foil? Is that it? Really? I've just insulted the macaroni and cheese recipe of a whale! What part of that is not evil? Perry the Platypus, you get back here and thwart me this instant!
 
Flynn: I was in a situation, gallivanting through the forest. I came across your tower and…(realizes) Oh! Oh, no. Where is my satchel?

Rapunzel: I’ve hidden it, somewhere you’ll never find it.

Flynn: …it’s in that pot over there, isn’t it?

(cut to outside, then WHAM!)
 
Candace: Listen up dweebs and listen good. You're gonna do what I say you should. If you're a reptile four by four, all join hands and head for the door. That's right, cross on through there. Out the door and all turn west, together now, don't be a pest. Wait right here for all of us, we're about to board the Main Street bus. I'm gonna get my brothers back, you cosmic kleptomaniacs. So get on up with a hop and a spring. Climb on up that platform thing!
 
High School DxD Episode 9 quote that can be taken out of context

Asia: I can't believe that came out of Issei

she was talking about a "Dragon Wave" energy burst coming out of Issei's Sacred Gear
 
The whole "chicken wings" scene in Tommy Boy. It's long so I'm just gonna post the video.

Edit: Doh, just noticed the topic says "animated movie". Uh, just imagine it's animated.

 
Drawn Together has loads of good quotes, even though a lot of them are rather rude.

Foxxy: Foster care is evil, y'all. And I should know, cause all my children send me letters about it!
(a letter comes in with "SAVE ME MOMMY" on top of other letters)
Foxxy: AAAAAA! I'm gonna bring Ling-Ling home. I'm not gonna let another one of my loved ones go through the foster care system!
(Foxxy's stomach grows big and hands stick out)
Baby: YAY!
 
Doofenshmirtz: What kind of a plumber are you?
Perry: *Removes cap*
Doofenshmirtz: A platypus plumber?
Perry: *Puts on fedora*
Doofenshmirtz: A Perry the Platypus plumber?
Perry: *Removes belt*
Doofenshmirtz: *GASP* PERRY THE PLATYPUS!
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Doofenshmirtz: Behold! The Other-Dimensionator! Actually, this is the OTHER Other-Dimensionator. The other Other-Dimensionator's back in the other dimension.
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Yakko: We need to look for prints
Dot: Found him! *Holds up the artist Pince*
Yakko: No, finger prints
Dot: I don't think so
 
Another gold mine from Drawn Together:

Larry the Tomato: I'm sorry for thinking impure thoughts. (flogs himself)
Bob the Cucumber: I'm sorry for being so phallic. (flogs himself)
Princess Clara: I'm sorry for buying child slaves from third world countries. (flogs herself)
(Hallelujah plays)
Child Slave: FREE!
(music stops)
Princess Clara: I said I'm sorry, not stop dusting!
 
This exchange from South Park never fails to amuse me...

Guy: And the poop and the pee lived happily ever after. Kill the phonies! Kill the phonies!
(meanwhile, at the Kardashians' house)
Kim Kardashian: Today, my sisters and I are gonna shop for underwear!
Kardashians: YAY!
Bruce Jenner: Can I go with you girls?
(guy goes in and shoots everyone)
 
Funniest Steven Universe moment ever.

Steven: Garnet, quick—you have to pretend to be my mom to Connie's mom.
Garnet: Hello. This... is Mom Universe. Yes. The children are playing swords. Sorry—playing with swords. They're bleeding. Oh no, they are dead. Don't call again. Sorry, I panicked.
 
While we're on the topic of SU:

Steven: If you want you could come live in my bathroom again.
Peridot: No, I've seen what goes on in there.

Pearl: Are we really going to keep that thing?
Garnet: We kept Amethyst.

Garnet: I-I though violence would be the answer.

Lars: Criminy! Are you okay?! That coffee was really hot!
Garnet: I drink coffee for breakfast.
 
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