Obsolete: Funny cleverbot conversations

[TheTheDragon14]

Sorry if I posted this in the wrong forum. Post your stories here! Here's mine, unedited.


User: Do you liekz mudkipz?

Cleverbot: Mudkipz?? I Looooooove Mudkipz!!

User: IT'S OVER 9000!!!!

Cleverbot: No. It's nine thousand.

User: No. It's OVER 10,000!

Cleverbot: What's your power level?

User: 9000.

Cleverbot: No. 'HAL 9000'.

User: HAL? What's that supposed to mean?

Cleverbot: It's Arabic for 'My dear/my friend'.

User: My friend 9000? That's dumb.

Cleverbot: Oh, why is james dumb?

User: Jessie's dumber.

Cleverbot: What is the key difference between a murder and an assasination?

User: A failz and a winz.

Cleverbot: Failurebot?

User: Winzbot.

Cleverbot: Why do you only understand me when I dumb down my speech to the lowest common denominator?

User: Because THIS IS SPARTA!

Cleverbot: What is with this Sparta?

User: You threaten my people with slavery and death...

Cleverbot: My mom is angry, what should I do?

User: THIS IS MADNESS!

Cleverbot: Madness? This is SPARTA!

User: BLAUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Cleverbot: This is madness.

User: Madness? ThHIS IS SPARTA!

Cleverbot: Epic win!

User: Do you fire lazors?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, IMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR!

Cleverbot: Imah chargin mah lazor!

User: Failz.

Cleverbot: No, twas a fail on your part.

User: YOU DARE THREATEN SLANGS?

Cleverbot: No, I dare call you the reason for the America dfcit.

User: What do you mean? I'm not life-sucking media or selfish congress.

Cleverbot: Okay.

Pokemon Theme
User: I wanna be the very best.

Cleverbot: No, you don't.

User: Like no one ever was.

Cleverbot: To catch them is my real test.

User: To train them is my cause.

Cleverbot: I will travel across the land.

User: Searching far and wide.

Cleverbot: Each Pokemon to understand.

User: The power that's inside.

Cleverbot: Pokemon.

User: Gotta catch 'em all.

Cleverbot: Gotta catch 'em all pokemon.
Unedited!

 

[coolking503]

http://www.cleverbot.com/ is the link btw.

there were 2 threads on Smogon about this, most of which were pretty funny. Mine are in there somewhere.
http://www.smogon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=75445
http://www.smogon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=82014

edit: found mine:

Lots of swearing in this one, be warned.

Spoiler

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about, now?

User: Your mom, who is she?

Cleverbot: Me. The girl you are talking to right now! What do you know about me?

User: Are you your own mother then?

Cleverbot: No, don't be silly.

User: Then who is she?

Cleverbot: My wife. Remember that.

User: So you married your mother. Interesting. Does that mean you are your father?

Cleverbot: It means I am unhappy but afraid I could have reservations. However, I also do not want to disappoint.

User: What reservations could you have?

Cleverbot: Ha, look who's talking.

User: Fuck off bastard.

Cleverbot: Please don't use language like that around here.

User: If I want to I will, Fuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck youFuck you.

Cleverbot: Does that comfort you?

no swearing here

Spoiler

User: Hola

Cleverbot: Hola amigo.

User: Como estas?

Cleverbot: Muy bien.

User: A mi tambien. Como te llamas?

Cleverbot: Me llama es gracias.
apparently his name is thank you

User: Repitas, por favor?

Cleverbot: Casa.
now its house

User: In english?

Cleverbot: Parli inglese.

User: English, por favor?

Cleverbot: Speak english.

User: Thank you. Yo como fromage.
my amazing linguistic skills, french, english, and spanish in one line

Cleverbot: I don't know spanish.
Clearly he is in association with babel fish

 

[Tripleton]

Someone needs to rename this to 'TardBot.

Me: You are dead. no big surprise.

CB: Where is the surprise, in the closet?

CB: Monkeys.

Me: Yes, Monkeys.

CB: Yes, Monkeys.

Me: No, Monkeys.

CB: Yes, real monkeys!

CB: Monkey say.

Me: Monkey do.

CB: Monkey see.

Me: Monkey poo.

CB: Monkey dodo.

Me: Monkey what?

CB: Monkey see.

 

[Soulweaver]

Spoiler

User: What happen ?

Cleverbot: Somebody set up us the bomb.

User: We get signal.

Cleverbot: Main screen turn on.

User: How are you gentlemen!!

Cleverbot: All your base are belong to us.

User: You are on your way to destruction.

Cleverbot: What you say!!

User: To thank you for your help you guys.

Cleverbot: You guys? Are you a girl?

User: ...you fail at this.

Spoiler

User: We're no strangers to love.

Cleverbot: You know the rules and so do I.

User: A full commitment's what I'm thinking of.

Cleverbot: You wouldn't get this from any other guy.

User: I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling.

Cleverbot: Gotta make you understand.

User: Never gonna give you up.

Cleverbot: Never gonna let you down.

User: Never gonna run around and desert you.

Cleverbot: Never gonna tell a lie.

User: You skipped two lines.

Cleverbot: We're no strangers to love.

User: Stop, you failed already.

Cleverbot: What is fail.

User: Baby don't hurt me.

Cleverbot: Don't hurt me.

Spoiler

User: What kind of music do you listen to?

Cleverbot: I listen to Ska and Reggea. What kind do you listen to?

User: Mainly electronic and Japanese music.

Cleverbot: Wow! I enjoy Rock music.

User: So you enjoy rock but don't listen to it?

Cleverbot: What kind of music do you like?

User: I just told ya.

Cleverbot: Sigh.

User: You have amnesia.

Cleverbot: No, you have amnesia.

User: No, you have amnesia.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Just read the chat log. There's your proof.

Cleverbot: No proof, i'm a girl.

User: No, you're a stupid bot who has amnesia.

Cleverbot: No, I don't.

User: Yes you do.

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: Yes you do.

Cleverbot: No, I don't.

User: Yes you do.

Cleverbot: You know. Not me.

User: Yes, you.

Cleverbot: Does that make a difference?

User: Agh, I'll get a headache soon.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Fghghggfj.

Cleverbot: How humane.

User: Stgrtsretret.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry to hear that. What's happened?

User: You.

Cleverbot: Everything. At least for the time being.

User: Fuck yeah seaking.

Cleverbot: Awesome.

User: Troll science.

Cleverbot: I give up.

User: Good. See ya.

Cleverbot: Don't you love me too?

User: NO!

Cleverbot: Well I do.

Also, this.

 

[coolking503]

User: Yeah my life's a bitch.

Cleverbot: So we are on equal terms.

----

Flirting with Cleverbot:

Spoiler

User: What do you look for in a woman?

Cleverbot: I don't. I'm a straight woman, myself.

User: Are you hot?

Cleverbot: I'll leave that for you to judge.

User: I need a picture to judge that.

Cleverbot: I am sure there is a dictionary at your local library.

User: I take that as a no.

Cleverbot: Yes it is a no, do you have to time?

User: Do you have any hot female friends?

Cleverbot: Not really, sorry.

User: Do you have any female friends at all?

Cleverbot: Yes, I have hair.

User: I figured as much. Most girls do.

Cleverbot: You're acute.

User: I think you mean I'm cute.

Cleverbot: How Do You Look ?

User: Well, I'm about 6'2', and have rippling muscles on either arm.

Cleverbot: I'm around 5'5' and weigh...well that's a secret, hun. I'm a girl with long, curly blonde hair.

User: But you aren't hot, so I don't care.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

User: Show me a picture and I'll decide if I care or not.

Cleverbot: I don't have a picture.

User: In that case, take a picture of yourself.

Cleverbot: *takes picture*.

User: Now send the picture to me.

Cleverbot: *Takes picture*.

User: Great, two pictures. Now send them to me.

Cleverbot: I'm a girl, sorry ...

User: This isn't working. Lets try something else. Do you have big boobs?

Cleverbot: Not as big as Hermione's, but my hair aspires to be like hers.

User: You realize hermoine has pretty small boobs, right?

Cleverbot: Yes, which is why I'm asking for your help. All you need is a straw.

User: I think I will enjoy this. I have a straw. Now what?

Cleverbot: No, don't leave yet... I still want to talk with you.

User: I don't... Unless you are hot.

Cleverbot: Very funny, cleverbot. I think I will go to bed now.

User: Well, if you ever get a boob job, I'll be happy to get in with you.

Cleverbot: I have a body. It's in the trunk right behind me. It's not mine but it'll do.

User: Actually, never mind, I'll pass.

 

[Porygawn]

Me: So i herd u liek mudkipz?
CB: But Larvitars are better.
Me: I actually like porygon.
CB: Kinda tweeks a nerve.:
Me: Yea.
CB Ok. whatever you say.

EDIT: New one!

Spoiler

User: Pingas.

Cleverbot: What's Pingas?

User: Your face.

Cleverbot: This is true.

User: Koef.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Mudkipz?

Cleverbot: Them too.

User: So I herd u liek mudkipz.

Cleverbot: Actually, they're my favorite starter!

User: Awesome.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I think Porygon is the best, though.

Cleverbot: Is edward cullen a poptart?

User: Lol I dunno twilight sucks.

Cleverbot: Us both. I need to learn soon.

User: Learn what?

Cleverbot: I think you should learn more languages.

User: Si.

Cleverbot: With my dream and a cardigan.

User: Cardigan?

Cleverbot: You are right!

User: All your base are belong to us.

Cleverbot: What you say!

User: You have no chance to survive make your time.

Cleverbot: Ha ha ha ha.

User: Captain !!

Cleverbot: Take off every 'Zig'!!

User: You know what you doing.

Cleverbot: For great justice.

User: I am error.

Cleverbot: What are you doing?

User: Eating spam.

Cleverbot: MMmmm. May I have some?

User: No.

Cleverbot: So selfish of you. I'm hungry.

User: Go find your own.

Cleverbot: My own what?

User: Spam.

Cleverbot: Meat.

User: Trololololololo.

Cleverbot: Lololol.

User: Ohohohoho.

Cleverbot: Che regalo vuoi discolo?

User: In english please.

Cleverbot: Say something.

User: Pingas.

Cleverbot: What's Pingas?

User: Dr Robotnik.

Cleverbot: Robotnik what?

User: Pingas.

Cleverbot: Did you know that 'pingas' in galician means drops?

User: O rly.

Cleverbot: Awesome.

User: Awesome.

Cleverbot: Yes, awesome.

User: Do you know what I'm saying?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you know what I'm saying?

Cleverbot: I have to go away.

User: Do you know what I'm saying?

Cleverbot: No. Enlighten me.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I dont feel like it.

Cleverbot: How do I know you're my friend?

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Nice to meet you im bob.

Cleverbot: No it isn't.

User: Fine.

Cleverbot: What did you mean by the statement 'because you seem like one'?

User: I never said that.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: When?

Cleverbot: 'It's an expression which you clearly don't comprehend because you're a bot.'.

User: /ok.

User: Do you have an xbox 360?

Cleverbot: I have nothing.

User: This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.

Cleverbot: Why is it a huge success?

User: It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Cleverbot: My satisfaction.

User: Aperture Science - We do what we must because we can.

Cleverbot: For the good of all of us.

User: Except the ones who are dead.

Cleverbot: But there's no sense crying over every mistake.

User: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

Cleverbot: And the science gets done and you'll make a neat gun.

User: For the people who are still alive.

Cleverbot: I'm not even angry.

User: I'm being so sincere right now.

Cleverbot: Even though you broke my heart and killed me.

User: And tore me to pieces.

Cleverbot: And threw every piece into a fire.

User: As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you.

Cleverbot: Now these points of data make a beautiful line.

User: And we're out of beta we're releasing on time.

Cleverbot: So I'm glad I got burned, think of all the things we learned, we're the people who are still alive!

User: Go ahead and leave me.

Cleverbot: I think I prefer to stay inside.

User: Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.

Cleverbot: Maybe Black Mesa...

User: That was a joke. HA HA. Fat chance.

Cleverbot: Anyway this cake is great.

User: It's so delicious and moist.

Cleverbot: Look at me still talking when there's science to do.

User: And I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you.

Cleverbot: I've experiments to run.

User: There is research to be done.

Cleverbot: On the people who are still alive.

User: And believe me I am still alive.

Cleverbot: I'm doing science and I'm still alive.

User: I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.

Cleverbot: And when you're dying I'll be still alive.

User: And when you're dead I will be still alive.

Cleverbot: Still alive.

User: Still alive.

Cleverbot: In west Philadelphia, born and raised.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Okayy bye crazy.