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I'm feeling so good. The weather outside is my very favorite - slightly chilly, overcast and misty, and breezy. I've got my new pinkish hoodie on and am feeling so happy! (Also, I'm feeling happy because I am able to do more physically after taking my new medication. I can run again! =) I could literally go outside and frolick in the weather if I wanted. Lol)
I feel really lousy. I keep entering these contests, and always manage to place within the top three, but never actually win. The more losses I accumulate, the more I wonder why I'm even bothering at all. I'm clearly never going to win anything. Why should I even try?
Kind of torn. I came into quite a bit of money recently and after all that's happened this year, I want to spoil my family rotten this Christmas. But worries about what to give them and whether I'm spending too much are holding me back.
Depressed with all the unpleasant things going on in the world, and I can't really do anything about them, crime, false arrests, poverty, horrific incidents that result in people getting injured, people being jerks for little reason even if they don't get away with it, while I don't care much about covid itself, irresponsible people who have covid don't stay at home and decide to go out and have fun to knowingly attempting to infect other people, people having to slave away just to make a living.
In particular, I'm always fatigued (mentally and physically) and sore and don't feel I have anything to brighten my mood. I would love my own apartment but don't have good enough pay and don't know if I can stay at my current job long enough even after passing my probation period.
The best word I can think of to describe my current feeling is calm, though that doesn’t explain the mild buzzing excitement and anticipation in the back of my mind. I’d blame that on me actually getting my little AMV project to a point where all I have to do is fit the pieces in place and then worry about transition effects after that, though to be honest, that might just be the hardest part for me. I’m not sure how much longer I want to see the same comic and the same scenes and the same song and dance over and over again, especially regarding this project. However, I’ve gotten this far and the scenes I have in mind have already stabbed me in the heart a couple of times already, so I’m not going to let anyone or anything stop me from vibing and working on this dumb pet project.
Even if it means I’m going to have to gradually accept that these comic pages are gonna be sticking in my photo gallery for a while, and live with it. But that’s a problem for tomorrow me.
I'm feeling pretty good. I'm gradually getting more confident about coming out. I'm a little stressed about an exam I have to do by the end of the week, but I'll sit down early on Friday or late on Thursday and get it done.
Very happy now that the figurine I ordered from Japan has finally arrived! And in such excellent condition as well, you wouldn't even know it was secondhand. I hope my brother likes it and the other one I got too.