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How are you feeling today? Vol. 2

All things considered; I've had a relatively okay birthday.

There's still a lot of things in my head that weigh on me, but that tends to be an every day thing anyway.
been really tired all day, kind of dissociative i guess. but things got better as the day went on, i finished a portrait of my girlfriend, cooked for my family, hung out with 2 other partners, and now i go to bed
feeling rather... drained.

work has been taking up so much of my mental and emotional space, i think. i've gotten pretty much the least desirable shift, in which the only upside is that i work from home permanently. but even that provides.... little actual comfort given the shift itself. i feel as if a large part of my day is spent at work and sleeping, rather than enjoying myself and getting fresh air and decompressing, and doing something else for a change.

i'm planning on purchasing some headsets soon so i can listen to music and go for walks more often, cause i think i need that more. staying inside all the time is just as bad as being in the office all the time and it's just... i need to see something else other than my work setup for once. @_@
Not so good mentally, because I have my grandma and aunt coming over later today and they are staying for a week, and frankly I am never happy when they are here and it kinda ruins every holiday season. Makes me feel like I have to be on pins and needles with everything I do when they're here, and that's on top of being a walking ball of stress even under normal circumstances. Oh, and I don't trust them with my cats, whether that's them giving them food they shouldn't, or me being afraid they'll leave a door open, or anything else. Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Not sure, just feeling a wide range of confusing emotions. I just have to work today, and tomorrow will be the first day off in three weeks, I didn't expect to be working 2 jobs at the beginning of the year. I don't really have any plans for Christmas and Winter break, it feels odd. I would work tomorrow if I could truthfully. Christmas is a culturally important festivity and I like the meaning behind it, but holidays feel like any other day for me. I only really bought a present for my sister though I'm starting to wish I had got some presents for my coworkers. Being vegan too is awkward, I have to accept all these milk chocolates that I can't eat and act like it's no big deal. It also makes generic gift giving difficult, I wish I could buy chocolates for others, but to look for vegan options for snacks and candy is too much for me right now. That, and the targeted for him/for her advertising gift gifting is uncomfortable as is the mass consumerism... I like some Christmas music, but a lot of it I don't like though I understand the nostalgia factor for some of the music, it must take them back to their childhood.

I feel like the grinch, Christmas is supposed to be fun, but it's different when one deviates too much from the cultural norm.
Distraught at losing a perfect run attempt of the Icy Knight League with Fire Stingray in F-Zero 99. Otherwise, I'm feeling okay, I've cooked a homemade ketchup for the first time, and while a bit acidic, it tastes good (I only used 3 big spoons of honey instead of 5 like in the recipe I saw).
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