How much have you changed since childhood?

[Claire386]

..Or in what ways? I'm thinking btw like now compared to you as a 12 year old, or even younger than that. Or whenever your personality really changed in your mind.

Man I remember how innocent I was as a little child, but also how easily upset I was. :c Adult me is also much MUCH calmer than little me was... so I guess I kinda ran from one side to the other lol.

As a child I also had so much excitement for my hobbies because I was just discovering them for the first time. I think there's something special about the feeling you have in that moment when you first discovered something that would literally become your favorite thing for the rest of your life. It feels in a way like love.

I also remember how I was too shy to approach people to try and be friends. ): Even when they had the same interests as me. Nowadays I have much more confidence than I used to, and I'm pretty comfortable being myself.

The reason I'm confident now is bc I've learned to kinda accept myself and enjoy life for what it is. Being confident is hard when you haven't killed your demons or whatever the idiom is.

So I guess on the positive as an adult I've gained confidence and self-esteem! Yaaaay! The only negative part is then that I felt stronger positive emotions as a child... hard to match that kind of excitement again.

 

[Zexy]

Way too much.

Up until 2010 my parents gave me the illusion that we are very middle class income, almost high, kinda richer than usual in the area. That is when some things happened and I figured out this is not the case and thus humbled a bit.

2011 was discovering my sexuality and understanding I probably will have to keep it secret for a long while from most people.

2014 was about discovering the feeling of love and how complicated it can make things, what heartbreak is like...

2015 was adulthood and finding out it is harder to live alone than I thought. Feeling free, as cool as it was, comes with some crippling responsibilities.

2018ish was when things changed with parents yet again, some unspoken truths had to be said from all sides.

Finally 2020-21 was about getting used to a life with less going out because of lockdowns, and realizing I do not mind it that much.

So yes, my 2009 self is NOTHING like my 2022-current one in so many ways.

 

[colours]

it's interesting thinking all the ways i've changed from my childhood days and yet in many ways i've remained the same. but in the way that have changed:

• i have more of a backbone
• less shy, although i don't foresee that going away entirely
• somewhat more outspoken about my thoughts

this isn't a lot, sure, but i think i've changed in the ways that mattered since these three qualities are things that i've suffered from immensely growing up and even into early adulthood. as a kid, standing up for myself and being more outspoken was simply not in the cards, i was far more comfortable being a doormat to avoid conflict. these days though, my patience has been wearing thin of all that and i'm still learning that not all conflict is a bad thing, it's just a fact of life.

i look forward to improving these qualities of myself as time goes on, even if i'm not (and even if i won't ever be) 100% there.

 

[toastghost]

well i mean i am still a child
but i guess in ways i did change in good ways

• i'm more outspoken and loud
• i have more of a backbone
• i have less patience with people who mistreat me
• i'm less annoying

but also

• worse abandonment issues
• shorter temper
• way more tired all the time

 

[Zexy]

well i mean i am still a child
but i guess in ways i did change in good ways

• i'm more outspoken and loud
• i have more of a backbone
• i have less patience with people who mistreat me
• i'm less annoying

but also

• worse abandonment issues
• shorter temper
• way more tired all the time

Glad for all the above

Very sorry about the below ones, although the last one... It only gets worse. And it gives me a feeling of "kids these days, getting tired of life at 14"...

 

[Catz]

I am technically still a child myself, but I have changed in a few ways

• I'm a lot more confident in sharing my work with others.
• I've learned to be a lot more forgiving of myself.
• I know my way around making friends a lot better
• I've learned to grow out my serious side a little better for certain situations
• My temper's been controlled a lot better.

I suppose we'll have to see what the future holds for the rest of my life and eventual improvements

 

[ZekromMahDad]

as a 19 year I would hope Id change alot. Yeah im tryna start a new family

 

[Okido]

I've probably changed drastically in some ways, and in other ways I haven't changed at all.

For one thing, I think I was much more outgoing, energetic, and excitable when I was younger; even well into my teens. Of course I was always a bit of a shy and sensitive kid to some degree, but after going through certain formative experiences, I noticed that I've involuntarily gotten much quieter and more reserved over time. Which isn't a bad thing on its own, and I guess for some people that's just part of being an adult — but it does make me sad when I wish I could still express myself with the same confidence and enthusiasm of my younger self, because I know that deep down it's still there.

On the other hand, calming down as I got older might have helped me grow in some positive ways. Compared to how I was as a kid, I like to think I'm far more considerate of other people than I used to be, I'm less impulsive and I don't have as short of a fuse anymore, and I've gained a sense of appreciation for some things that I used to think were annoying or mundane.

but, y'know, as a person I'm not all that different. I still like the same music, and I still watch the same TV shows, and I still draw and wear the things I would've thought were cool at age ten or fifteen. So I don't know if that makes me mature or childish... :p

 

[Sheep]

I still like mostly the same things I did when I was 9 now - similar shows/series, games, etc, so in that regard I've not changed much. When it comes to personality though I've changed quite a bit once I hit junior high school, I became more shy/quiet compared to my kid days when I was always getting the 'talks too much' note tacked on to my report cards lol. I also dress a bit more fashionable I guess?? But that's because as a kid I hardly had the taste/knowledge for that. So it's a mix!

 

[impervious_gakko42]

For starters, I'm not a weeaboo anymore, so that's great.

I've mellowed out and stopped being such a jackass to people for no reason other than I had some demented superiority complex. I'm still judgemental, but such judgements remain as thoughts instead of words or actions. To be frank, I was just mildly sociopathic and didn't know how to form real connections with anyone or anything, so used my perceived "betterness" as a justification. "It's not that I have trouble making friends, it's just that everyone (i.e the kids at my school) is too stupid for me to associate with," was basically the mindset.
That was around age 10, and after that I just... kinda grew out of it. There wasn't any grand revelation or inciting event, I just gradually came to realise that it was totally delusional and pointless and that it made me no better than the kids I thought so low of. Still I sometimes think, 'Wow, you sound (insert negative word here)' about my classmates but there's no more latent notion of moral/intellectual hierarchy.
Now I have friends, which is probably because I stopped being such a freaking jerk, but who knows. Now I'm just quiet.

 

[Zexy]

I also failed to make any meaningful friendships with classmates in school, this was a combination of many factors, most of which amount to being raised in a very controlling environment. Only child with both parents and all three living grandparents very involved in my life, four of which have controlling tendencies (manifesting a bit differently on each, but still). They were not super strict but they sure knew how to apply soft power. So the sentiment I was supposed to have for all classmates is that they are not worth my time and should never inconvenience family's schedule for the sake of including them more in my life (visits, sleepovers, etc) other than being sociable during school hours and maybe throwing/going to birthday parties if and only if there was PR among parents involved (many were their cleints).

I only started getting an idea of what true friendship is like when I started interacting with people online that were out of their sphere of influence (and I went to great lengths to keep it that way, even though I did figure out they did Internet history checks in secret, and only admitted it much later).

Offline friends were essentially off limits until I was 18, when I moved out and really started actually bonding with people on my own terms, I finally could make MY choices.

 

[Aulos]

Before my late teens I was very chatty and sociable. My teen years were marked by a lot of rapid losses of friends/friend groups for me and I was called "annoying" time and time again. I learned to tone myself down and reduce the space I took up. Ever since then I have been very restrained in my socialization, and it's amazing that I still have any friends because I reach out to them so little out of fear of being too annoying.

 

[ekatheparas]

As a kid, I was aggressive, impulsive, a bit of a manipulator and a liar, as well as rebellious, so to this day I'm still shocked I actually had most of my friends still be my friends from that time. I apologized for causing a spectacularly terrible impact in their lives- but not to all of them due to the language barrier problem unfortunately

I'm 'almost old enough to get a Vespa licence' now, and I've become a more passive personality. I don't hang out with the "tiktok teenage norm" either, thank goodness. I'm still a bit impulsive and sometimes I let a lie slip or unconsciously manipulate someone, but I'm mostly aware of my actions, change perspectives and learnt to channel my aggressiveness down, so I would either appear as hyper or dry.

So in all these years, I've learnt to wait, and observe. I still mask myself most of the time because if I didn't I would sound kind of scary,,lol.

 

[ZekromMahDad]

Also Imma be honest Im still just as hostile towards people and my patience is still low af

 

[Chidamari Sketch]

There's significant differences between the person I was as a tween, as a teen, amidst college, and right now; out of college and generally unsure of my direction in life in an environment where it becomes increasingly apparent that higher-ups tend to see animation careers as disposable when I came out fresh on a bachelor's degree on... well, animation. I know it's such a common reaction, but whenever I think about how plastically excitable I was back then and tried to basically make a "caustic critic"-style loudmouth out of myself, I just... wanna crumple myself like a paper ball, heh.

I think the most notable difference is that I find myself even more prone to comparing myself to others in a self-depreciating way; it's not out of being... bullied into that mindset, mind you, but rather from looking at other people's own projects and/or even one-off assignments all throughout college. Even my closest friend online, who herself suffers from severe anxiety and depression and is older than me; admits that she even thinks I'm too hard on myself sometimes. Part of it is from feeling like my work isn't much compared to others but from also me feeling like I'm just not very easily motivated to do anything. This is particularly an issue because an often-said thing about art in general really is that in order to stay consistent at it, you have to basically commit and practice... but while I do have a passion project in my head at least, even buying new art supplies hasn't really done much to energize me to brainstorm things to make.

 

[guzmania]

i genuinely hate my younger self so much i cant even talk about it
i still hate myself but i would still say i've changed a lot

 

[ZekromMahDad]

thats a shame

 

[guzmania]

perhaps so, but sometimes i suppose that's the way it is

 

[Herbizarre]

i genuinely hate my younger self so much i cant even talk about it

Same here. There are times where I want to go back in time and do something about my younger self's behaviour.

Regarding how I changed since I was a kid... There's what I said above, but there's also understanding myself a lot better than I ever did as a kid (read, understanding how Asperger's work), though the mystery was kept as such for a very long time until a few months before the COVID-19 pandemic outbreak. And understanding why my parents like certain people beyond just their singing/acting abilities (one example being my late mother liking David Bowie for how humane he was in his life time).

One thing I've read regarding signs that tell us we've grown up, is feeling embarrassed or ashamed about something bad we did in the past. While such memory or act will never go away from our mind (or the other people's that were involved) we have the ability to not repeat history and avoid doing that thing again, or better yet : keep others from making the same mistake you did.

 

[Arylett Charnoa]

As someone who doesn't change, I don't quite understand how people speak of being so drastically different from their childhood to adulthood. Like, sure, I was more ignorant and naive, and my brain had less capacity to understand complex concepts, but my core personality ironed out by age 11. I had similar levels of intelligence as I do now, just with less experience. It could be because I've never really done adulty things like have a job for a long time or drive a car due to some issues. I even still look like a teenager at 31 years old.

I don't see my child self as being stupid. I did my best with the information and not ideal circumstances I had, so I generally try not to regret anything.

There are minor changes to the core personality though. Some upgrades, some downgrades. Most notably, I'm far more reserved than I used to be online. I don't feel like I fit in today's landscape with all its social media and fast-paced nature, as someone who likes to ruminate on responses and post on forums. Since this was the only way I've ever made friends, it has led to more loneliness. It's much harder to make friends as an adult, particularly when you don't engage in the adult world like I do. I've also been burned so many times now that I'm also far more cynical about the world around me. I'm rather unhappy about the state of things right now and am generally just a silently grumpy old person with less patience and somehow more social anxiety than I had as a child. [And I already had A LOT.]

I can't be bothered to tolerate toxic people like I used to - if someone starts something with me, I'm immediately out of there. I see people as just a series of repetitive behaviors because nobody surprises me anymore. Like robots who just move along a pre-determined path that baffles me to no end. Whilst I felt like this as a child as well, the feeling is far more potent. Overall, I feel bored, lonely, and devoid of wonder because everything outside of me has evolved in a direction that doesn't align with my preferences. [Primarily the internet, anime, and games.]

Conversely, whilst I feel the world has gone to shit, my own life is probably the best it's ever been. Which still isn't the best or anything, as my existence has ever been dominated by depression and misery and it's hard to change that, but I have a husband/best friend ever who completely understands me more than any other human being ever will this planet. I gained him at the cost of losing all my other friends, but it was worth it.

Because he is the only person I met online who came into my real life and altered it substantially. We have known each other now for ten years. It is because of him that I was able to get out of Florida and move to a far better state, as I am incapable of doing much on my own. A combination of ten years of medications and his presence has caused my more volatile emotions to mellow out more. He showed me the healing properties of comedy - as I generally took things far more seriously as a child - and still makes me laugh consistently. There are still many, many improvements to be made though. They are being worked on - and progress is happening faster now that we've moved.