Life
oh my
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2013
- Messages
- 2,726
- Reaction score
- 898
i can't believe it's mid-march wow i'm awful. sorrry this took so long for me to post! please feel free to ask any questions aha
(also i've since edited this a bit from what was likely PMed to you because honestly some of the shit i wrote made no sense - sorry about that!)
Post-awards review
I've always felt like the plot is the story's strong suit. A grand save the world story that strives to deconstruct and look at common journey/writing tropes: so the question is how well is that done? We know that a key point of the plot is Alaska refusing to the be hero everyone wants her to be, yet there were a lot of instances where it feels like Alaska had learned she needed to embrace her role, yet she still doesn't, which really drags the plot/story. Having character development be the key part of a story is normal and all fine and dandy. But a 110+ chapter fanfic is much longer than an average story, and with it can cause serious problems in feeling like the story isn't progressing the way it should, or just becoming a bit of a drag to read.
I will say however that other than that, I do think the plot is very-well constructed (all the trope-adressing aside) and has a good deal of foreshadowing, side-plots, plot-twists, etc. that really make it boom!
As far as the setting goes, well, Kanto is... Kanto, but with a bloody past! This past isn't fully understood yet although I suspect that by the end of the story that'll change. The world is built up a good bit however I'm not sold that for a story that's been going on for essentially 100 chapters that the world is where it could be in terms of scale and realism. The physical setting itself is described well if but succinct, but in terms of atmosphere, sometimes the story just feels like a constant ball of tense one-liners from Alaska, creating for less diversity and tonal feel in the overall setting.
The thing I like about 8ES characters is that not just the main characters get focus, but the side characters too that appear for even just an arc. It really goes a long way in making the story come to life and I appreciate that immensely because then I actually feel like I'm reading about real people in a real story lol. While for Alaska and Sandy, some of their key components were revealed after a long time coming, but the fact is that those components are here now and that makes them an interesting duo to watch.
I understand there is a good deal of criticism around Alaska, but what I appreciate about her character is that it's written more for realism instead of the audience; she's 13 years old and is being told by adults that she has to save the world and how to do it. Any snarky 13-year-old on the brink of teenage rebellion and puberty would act her way lol, I'm not expecting anything different. Her development in the one particular area of realizing her role has gone on too long, I have to say though. I'm not really sure she needs so many events to decisively change her attitude though, if that makes sense.
On a more positive note though, I've said this before but I'll say it again: something I really admire about your writing style is your ability to write prose that's simple and easy to read yet has a great air of maturity/complexity to it. You don't try to write in a style that doesn't need to be there; the story is told perfectly and the job is done quite well. There are still some technical issues in the story however, but I'm not super concerned about that.
Character judging
I feel like I said most of what I have to say about Alaska within the ideas above. However, I feel that my last two paragraphs I posted in the judging thread rang rather true for me still:
In some ways, I wish there was more to Alaska. I know there have been snippets of what life was like before she left (and the updated beginning does a much better job now at painting us that picture), but for such a long story I strive for more.
Paige!
The most exciting element of Paige's character is her being upset with Alaska in the recent chapters, showing that even she isn't all that Alaska may have thought. It's definitely interesting, but how much impact it really has on either of their character's is questionable, especially because it's still a new occurrence. Otherwise, Paige isn't that deep as far as characters or Pokémon go, but she at least does have a personality.
Outside of this, my two biggest critiques about Paige are that I wish we could see her as more than just another one of Alaska's pokémon. We know she's destined to have a big role in the final battle, but I feel like we never even see Paige outside of battle and as a reader it definitely makes me question what kind of relationship her and Alaska really have, and if it truly is all that good. I'd love to see her in more unique scenes to her character, and I think that would also go a long way in making her stand out more as well.
Buzz !
Aside from Buzz j being a general dick, I don't really know a lot about him aside from the fact that he has slick black hair and is really, really immature. We know his motivation & goal but as of know I'm pretty sure it's just to have power which isn't all that deep or original, but I don't think that's necessarily... necessary. He doesn't need a lot of depth or development to do the job of obstructing the protagonists, but that does admittedly makes him less of an admirable villain.
As for as originality goes though, +points for the sheer amount of immaturity, honestly. Somehow that makes his character a little more bearable lol. Otherwise Buzz just kinda feels like your generic, power-hungry villain and again that's kinda hard to praise that. While he is a big pain for Alaska and co., it's unclear how big of a role he'll have endgame, so I don't want to get too hasty. But right now it the story I do question whether or not he can even be considered the story's protagonist.
Overall, Buzz is stupid. Like, hilariously stupid. And he's, frankly, not all that compelling of a character nor that original/deep. However he doesn't need to be; he's presumably not the endgame villain and can still cause a lot of other issues for Alaska and Sandy. But although he does his job as an antagonist well, he's not a particularly ingenious antagonist
again lemme know if you have any questions and i'll do my best at responding timely !!
(also i've since edited this a bit from what was likely PMed to you because honestly some of the shit i wrote made no sense - sorry about that!)
Post-awards review
I've always felt like the plot is the story's strong suit. A grand save the world story that strives to deconstruct and look at common journey/writing tropes: so the question is how well is that done? We know that a key point of the plot is Alaska refusing to the be hero everyone wants her to be, yet there were a lot of instances where it feels like Alaska had learned she needed to embrace her role, yet she still doesn't, which really drags the plot/story. Having character development be the key part of a story is normal and all fine and dandy. But a 110+ chapter fanfic is much longer than an average story, and with it can cause serious problems in feeling like the story isn't progressing the way it should, or just becoming a bit of a drag to read.
I will say however that other than that, I do think the plot is very-well constructed (all the trope-adressing aside) and has a good deal of foreshadowing, side-plots, plot-twists, etc. that really make it boom!
As far as the setting goes, well, Kanto is... Kanto, but with a bloody past! This past isn't fully understood yet although I suspect that by the end of the story that'll change. The world is built up a good bit however I'm not sold that for a story that's been going on for essentially 100 chapters that the world is where it could be in terms of scale and realism. The physical setting itself is described well if but succinct, but in terms of atmosphere, sometimes the story just feels like a constant ball of tense one-liners from Alaska, creating for less diversity and tonal feel in the overall setting.
The thing I like about 8ES characters is that not just the main characters get focus, but the side characters too that appear for even just an arc. It really goes a long way in making the story come to life and I appreciate that immensely because then I actually feel like I'm reading about real people in a real story lol. While for Alaska and Sandy, some of their key components were revealed after a long time coming, but the fact is that those components are here now and that makes them an interesting duo to watch.
I understand there is a good deal of criticism around Alaska, but what I appreciate about her character is that it's written more for realism instead of the audience; she's 13 years old and is being told by adults that she has to save the world and how to do it. Any snarky 13-year-old on the brink of teenage rebellion and puberty would act her way lol, I'm not expecting anything different. Her development in the one particular area of realizing her role has gone on too long, I have to say though. I'm not really sure she needs so many events to decisively change her attitude though, if that makes sense.
On a more positive note though, I've said this before but I'll say it again: something I really admire about your writing style is your ability to write prose that's simple and easy to read yet has a great air of maturity/complexity to it. You don't try to write in a style that doesn't need to be there; the story is told perfectly and the job is done quite well. There are still some technical issues in the story however, but I'm not super concerned about that.
Character judging
I feel like I said most of what I have to say about Alaska within the ideas above. However, I feel that my last two paragraphs I posted in the judging thread rang rather true for me still:
Ent Value:
Admittedly I think this is where she kinda is weakest. A lot of her lines get tiring after awhile, or they just sound like rehashes of something she said a few chapters back. She's by no means boring, but sometimes the predictable snark can be too much at times.
Overall:
The most interesting thing about Alaska is her refusal to accept the hero role she's been destined to assume. However the lengthy battle for her to understand such a thing is still ongoing despite having so much of the story focus on this. While she may have changing ideas about her role, after a while it would kinda be nice to have her character do something new/not completely predictable.
But with that out of the way, Alaska is a completely real character and at times can add a fresh voice to a bunch of noise by other, more mature characters. She's an interesting protagonist, but I don't think I would can call her an interesting character throughout the story.
In some ways, I wish there was more to Alaska. I know there have been snippets of what life was like before she left (and the updated beginning does a much better job now at painting us that picture), but for such a long story I strive for more.
Paige!
The most exciting element of Paige's character is her being upset with Alaska in the recent chapters, showing that even she isn't all that Alaska may have thought. It's definitely interesting, but how much impact it really has on either of their character's is questionable, especially because it's still a new occurrence. Otherwise, Paige isn't that deep as far as characters or Pokémon go, but she at least does have a personality.
Outside of this, my two biggest critiques about Paige are that I wish we could see her as more than just another one of Alaska's pokémon. We know she's destined to have a big role in the final battle, but I feel like we never even see Paige outside of battle and as a reader it definitely makes me question what kind of relationship her and Alaska really have, and if it truly is all that good. I'd love to see her in more unique scenes to her character, and I think that would also go a long way in making her stand out more as well.
Buzz !
Aside from Buzz j being a general dick, I don't really know a lot about him aside from the fact that he has slick black hair and is really, really immature. We know his motivation & goal but as of know I'm pretty sure it's just to have power which isn't all that deep or original, but I don't think that's necessarily... necessary. He doesn't need a lot of depth or development to do the job of obstructing the protagonists, but that does admittedly makes him less of an admirable villain.
As for as originality goes though, +points for the sheer amount of immaturity, honestly. Somehow that makes his character a little more bearable lol. Otherwise Buzz just kinda feels like your generic, power-hungry villain and again that's kinda hard to praise that. While he is a big pain for Alaska and co., it's unclear how big of a role he'll have endgame, so I don't want to get too hasty. But right now it the story I do question whether or not he can even be considered the story's protagonist.
Overall, Buzz is stupid. Like, hilariously stupid. And he's, frankly, not all that compelling of a character nor that original/deep. However he doesn't need to be; he's presumably not the endgame villain and can still cause a lot of other issues for Alaska and Sandy. But although he does his job as an antagonist well, he's not a particularly ingenious antagonist
again lemme know if you have any questions and i'll do my best at responding timely !!