I have an idea...

[Shadow Raikou]

Well, I have an idea for a horror fic in the Pokemon universe. However, this is definitely not a creepypasta. I want to make it long and interesting. ...Still, I don't know if anyone would like the idea.

The idea is that about one month ago before the story starts, there is an earthquake around Mt. Moon. A new crevice was formed, and explorers have found an old mine connected to the crevice. (Just to clarify, this is not a 'haunted mine' story.) There has been no record of this mine for the past one hundred years. About one week earlier than the earthquake, a group of three friends received their starters from Oak. I'm thinking of making one chapter from a character's perspective, the other chapter from a different character's, etc. Alex, a female trainer who chose Squirtle, tomboyish and rather brave. Jake, bully, chose Charmander. And finally, Jack, rather weak and gets bullied around by Jake, but is usually saved by Alex. No choice but to choose Bulbasaur. I plan to expand on their personalities.

Well, the mine is connected with various cave systems and a rather large manor far north of Kanto, on a cliff. Never found by anyone due to the high mountains surrounding it. An abandoned town rests under the Manor, half-flooded by a lake.

I'd like to know if anyone likes this idea and who I can expand on it. I don't want it to be just another creepypasta, really.

 

[Necrozma]

Sounds interesting. Though having a rival of the main character being a jerk is kind of an overused theme unless the rival actually physically bullies the main character. Though I like the sound of each chapter being told from another character's perspective. It keeps things fresh and the fact that the bully gets his own focus makes for some interesting insight in his character, perhaps a reasoning for the way he behaves and acts towards others.

I do have some questions about the mine, though.

Are we talking about an actual horror fic? Or more of a mystery story?

 

[Gama]

I'd be interested to read something like this.

This may have been your intention anyway, but I would recommend skipping forward to the bit where the earthquake happens and skip out the rather samey process of getting their starters, beginning their journey etc. etc.

Also I would recommend not calling your two male leads Jack and Jake. The distinction is obvious to you as the writer, I'm sure, but for a reader can become very confusing very quickly. I try to avoid having my protagonists' names start with the same letter or rhyme.

 

[Necrozma]

Along with what G-Mama already said, I'd suggest somewhat more unique names for the main characters. Alex (Alexandra or Alexis) is okay, but you might want to switch Jake and Jack with something more uncommon, something memorable and yet not too hard to spell.

Just a suggestion.

 

[Shadow Raikou]

Sounds interesting. Though having a rival of the main character being a jerk is kind of an overused theme unless the rival actually physically bullies the main character. Though I like the sound of each chapter being told from another character's perspective. It keeps things fresh and the fact that the bully gets his own focus makes for some interesting insight in his character, perhaps a reasoning for the way he behaves and acts towards others.

I do have some questions about the mine, though.

Are we talking about an actual horror fic? Or more of a mystery story?

Jake is a jerk, yes, but doesn't mean harm. I will expand on his side of the story, particularly one of the reasons I thought of the different perspective every other chapter thing. More of a mystery story, yes, but things will go supernatural. The mine is just a hub, actually. Connecting Brock (Who will have a supporting role, most probably, since Mt. Moon is his training spot.) at Moon to the mansion and the town, and connecting much more things.

I'd be interested to read something like this.

This may have been your intention anyway, but I would recommend skipping forward to the bit where the earthquake happens and skip out the rather samey process of getting their starters, beginning their journey etc. etc.

Also I would recommend not calling your two male leads Jack and Jake. The distinction is obvious to you as the writer, I'm sure, but for a reader can become very confusing very quickly. I try to avoid having my protagonists' names start with the same letter or rhyme.

Thinking the same thing, actually. The earthquake would probably will be the prologue, with a short flashback of the starters. All three have already evolved once, and they have caught some typical Route 1-Mt. Moon pokemon.

Along with what G-Mama already said, I'd suggest somewhat more unique names for the main characters. Alex (Alexandra or Alexis) is okay, but you might want to switch Jake and Jack with something more uncommon, something memorable and yet not too hard to spell.

Just a suggestion.

Well, what should be a good replacement? Chris? Kyle? I don't really know what to name the main characters, because they are the most important.

 

[Necrozma]

Well, what should be a good replacement? Chris? Kyle? I don't really know what to name the main characters, because they are the most important.

I think the fact that they're main characters pretty much adds up to the idea of them having recognizable names.

You can either use this random name generator or try looking up names with certain meanings on Google and give each of your character a name with a meaning that fits his character or this story in general. It's up to you.

 

[Shadow Raikou]

I think the fact that they're main characters pretty much adds up to the idea of them having recognizable names.

You can either use this random name generator or try looking up names with certain meanings on Google and give each of your character a name with a meaning that fits his character or this story in general. It's up to you.

Hm. What about Erik for Jack and Ted for Jake? Seems fitting, I think. But I want to know your opinion.

 

[Necrozma]

Hm. What about Erik for Jack and Ted for Jake? Seems fitting, I think. But I want to know your opinion.

It's your story and I don't really wish to meddle in. ^^

If you find those names fitting, then they probably are.

 

[Gama]

They seem reasonable names. Nothing wrong with them. I think you would know better than anyone else. You also wouldn't have to change both of them if you don't want to.

 

[Shadow Raikou]

Actually I think I will change them. Jake and Jack are fairly common names.

...Not that Alex, Ted and Erik aren't, but having two (Js) in one story does seem confusing. This is certainly a mystery fic, with a high amount of horror elements.

But no Scooby-Doo like endings, I promise you. xD