matt0044
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Introduction.
PLEASE READ THIS FIRST! Thank you. Long time, no see, everybody. I've been working on my Pokemon: Black & White adaptation for quite some time and I decided to start on Chapter one to help me a bit. Unfortunately, I'm not so sure as to what I'm doing right or wrong with the writing. The story, check. The casting and characters, check. The writing style, not so confident on.
That's where you guys come in. I need critiques on my writing so far: what's great and what needs to be edited. Once again, I'm fine with the story and characters but I need your advice on the writing style.
And remember that this is what I've written of Chapter 1 so far and that there's more that I have planned in the future. So if I don't explain something here, it will be in the future.
Enough chit-chat! Let's get rolling. Be sure to read everything and be sure to tell me all your thought on this. I need to know.
P.S. This is a fanmake crossover where I use cartoon/Anime/my own characters to represent the original game characters and then some. It's not required of you to know who these characters are prior to reading this fanfic as each of them are described to those who don't know them so ignore the cast list if you want. Just don't hesitate to read everything. And I mean, EVERYTHING!
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For your information:
In my version of the Pokemon world, mammals were civilized to integrate them into society years (possibly a century) prior to this series. They aren't featured in this fic but are shown in a side project: Pokemon Adventures: Diamond & Pearl. Unova's main demographic is humans and mouselings (anthropomorphic mice) in my fic.
Capsules are obviously from the Dragon Ball series and are to be used in this fic as a replacement for the games' hammerspace backpacks which would not make sense in real life. I know that the Capsule concept seems outlandish but hey, this is Pokemon.
The characters may not seem like much but I do plan to delve deeper into their characters and backgrounds throughout their Unova region journey. Sadly, I can't spoil it for you guys.
Now that I have that out of the way, go on and critique. Just remember to mention the good parts along with the bad parts. I can't stress it enough.
Thank you and I look forward to your reviews. Don't hold back on what you have to say.
Edit: I added more to what I had. Be sure to comment on that.
PLEASE READ THIS FIRST! Thank you. Long time, no see, everybody. I've been working on my Pokemon: Black & White adaptation for quite some time and I decided to start on Chapter one to help me a bit. Unfortunately, I'm not so sure as to what I'm doing right or wrong with the writing. The story, check. The casting and characters, check. The writing style, not so confident on.
That's where you guys come in. I need critiques on my writing so far: what's great and what needs to be edited. Once again, I'm fine with the story and characters but I need your advice on the writing style.
And remember that this is what I've written of Chapter 1 so far and that there's more that I have planned in the future. So if I don't explain something here, it will be in the future.
Enough chit-chat! Let's get rolling. Be sure to read everything and be sure to tell me all your thought on this. I need to know.
P.S. This is a fanmake crossover where I use cartoon/Anime/my own characters to represent the original game characters and then some. It's not required of you to know who these characters are prior to reading this fanfic as each of them are described to those who don't know them so ignore the cast list if you want. Just don't hesitate to read everything. And I mean, EVERYTHING!
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Pokemon Adventures: Black & White by matt0044.
Cast Of Characters.
Our Heroine
Angelina Mouseling (Angelina Ballerina) as Hilda
The Rivals
Alice Nimbletoes (Angelina Ballerina) as Bianca
William Longtail (Angelina Ballerina) as Cheren
Zor Prime (Robotech) as N Harmonia
The Gym Leaders
Ed (Ed, Edd n' Eddy) as Cilan
Edd (Ed, Edd n' Eddy) as Cress
Eddy (Ed, Edd n' Eddy) as Chili
Thelma Thimble (Angelina Ballerina) as Lenora
Marco Quesillo (Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps) as Burgh
Gracie (Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps) as Elesa
Jet Black (Cowboy Bebop) as Clay
Vicki (Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps) as Skyla
Lance "Lancer" Belmont (Robotech) as Brycen
Henry James Gloval (Robotech) as Drayden
Lilo Pelekai (Lilo & Stitch) as Iris
The Elite Four & Champion
Sam Manson (Danny Phantom) as Shauntal
Vlad Masters (Danny Phantom) as Grimsley
Launch (Dragon Ball) as Caitlin
Yamcha (Dragon Ball) as Marshal
Rick Hunter (Robotech) as Alder
Team Plasma
Team Plasma Knights Alex, Al and Ally (Original Characters) as Team Rocket Agents Jessie, James and Meowth
Musica and Octavia (Robotech) as Anthea and Concordia
The Shadow Triad
The Six Sages
Rezo, the Red Priest (Slayers) as Ghetsis
Secondary Characters
Harriet Hodgepodge (Angelina Ballerina)
Valerie Frizzle (The Magic School Bus) as Professor Aurea Juniper
Mary Mimi (Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps) as Fennel
Vern Frizzle (Original Character) as Professor Cedric Juniper
Thomas Thimble (Original Character) as Hawes
Andrew Nimbletoes (Original Character) as Bianca's Dad
Dana Sterling (Robotech) as Nurse Joy
Nova Satori (Robotech) as Officer Jenny
Spike Spiegal (Cowboy Bebop) as Looker
Doctor Timothy Tuttle (Angelina Ballerina)
Doctor Emil Lang (Robotech)
Priscilla Pinkpaws (Angelina Ballerina)
Penelope Pinkpaws (Angelina Ballerina)
Sammy Watts (Angelina Ballerina)
Grings Kodai (Pokemon)
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Chapter 1: A Nuvema Beginning.
A typical young child would hate taking baths for one reason or another but as far as Angelina Mouseling could remember, she loved taking baths since she was a child herself. The hot, soothing waters and white, foamy bubbles were like heaven in a tub to her and nothing got her more relaxed than taking a dip whenever she felt depressed, upset or negative in anyway. Angelina would always feel 100 percent again and that she could face the world if she wanted to after she was done soaking and scrubbing herself.
There were repercussions to Angelina's bathtimes as she would be scolded and punished by the Hodgepodge House's headmistress, Harriet Hodgepodge, whenever it was discovered that too much of the orphanage's hot water had been drawn by the thirteen year old mouseling herself. Angelina found that odd, considering Miss Hodgepodge's vast fortune that was one of the largest in the entire Unova region and massive mansion that doubled as the orphanage (the Hodgepodge House) she lived in, but was still punished whenever it happened, limiting her bathtimes to once a day and hot water to filling no more than three-fourths of the tub. It was strict rules like these that made life in the orphanage somewhat rough for a Castelia city girl with no past memories like Angelina at first but somehow she managed to make the most of her new everyday life with the baths and the friends she managed to make helping her as well.
One Saturday afternoon, Angelina was taking her hot bath which was filled nearly to the very brim with warm water and white, foamy bubbles. Only her two feet that were rested on one side of the tub near the faucet and nobs and her head resting on the other were exposed while the rest of her body was submerged under the water and covered completely by the bubbles. Her entire body was humanoid in shape and was covered by pure white fur but her head was shaped like a mouse's with two round ears and a small, pink nose. Her tail, concealed by the bubbles as well, was thin and long and grew from her lower backside and her violet eyes were closed as she relaxed. The window nearby was open slightly to let the fresh Spring air come in along with the sounds of chirping Pidove in the garden and the air.
Today wasn't a usual Saturday in the Hodgepodge House as the teens were planned to go on a field trip to undisclosed location in Nuvema town which was where the orphanage was. Miss Hodgepodge noticed that certain teens had been exhibiting better behavior than usual during the course of March so she scheduled a special excursion through town to a surprise destination for this very Saturday to reward them and Angelina was one of those six teens as luck would have it. Miss Hodgepodge didn't tell anyone where they were going as she was saving it for before they set out as a surprise but Angelina and the other six who were raring to find out and go were nonetheless amazed at the headmistress's act of honest-to-god generosity which she rarely exhibited.
Everyone got ready for the field trip early by getting dressed for the occasion and eating a good lunch to tie them over until dinner or snacktime so Angelina decided to take a fifteen minute hot bath a half-hour before the field trip to get herself at 100 percent and squeaky clean. She figured that she could get away with a full tub just this once as she assumed that Miss Hodgepodge wouldn't notice the slight hot water decrease due to her old age and could care less due to the field trip so she cast her dice and hoped for the best.
As Angelina continued to bathe blissfully, she heard a knocking on the bathroom door followed by a familiar soft voice that said in a somewhat frantic way, "Angelina! Are you in there?"
Angelina knew the voice belonged to her best friend, Alice Nimbletoes. "I'm taking a bath, Alice. What is it?" she responded.
"Not to get you all riled up, but Miss Hodgepodge and everyone else are waiting for you in the foyer," Alice answered from behind the door.
"And rather impatiently if I might add," said a different, boyish voice that Angelina recognized as William Longtail's, her second best friend. His pessimistic-like tone of voice was a dead giveaway to those who knew him. "She sent us both to get you."
Angelina was confused. "What time is it now?" she then asked as she lifted her head up from the tub's rim.
"My X-Transceiver says that it's 12:24," Alice responded.
Alarmed at how much time she wasted, Angelina instantly stood up in the tub with the bubbles covering her body, save for her arms and hands, and her eyes and mouth as wide as dinner plates. "Seriously? That's just six minutes before we're suppose to leave!" she exclaimed as she began to step out of the tub, dripping water and suds on the bathroom floor which was made of white square tiles. "I can't believe how much time I lost track of. Miss Hodgepodge is going to murder me for this." She reached back into the tub to pull the plug and drain the water.
"There's no need to worry, Angelina," said William, making an ironic statement as he was usually the worrisome one of the trio. "It's just six minutes and we can still make it there on time. I don't need to tell you that Hodgepodge detests tardiness, even from herself, so just concentrate on getting ready for the first four minutes and we'll run to join the group for the last two minutes." As usual, he was smart to ration time like food even in a few seconds.
"Alright, I get the picture!" retorted Angelina in frustration as she grabbed a pink towel from the rack on the wall near the door and dried herself off as quickly as possible with it. She discarded the towel onto the bathroom floor like a common dishrag, not fearing the consequences as her current crisis was bad enough, and opened the door to face her friends.
"Woah, Angelina!" shouted William as the male thirteen year old gray mouseling shut his eyes, turned his head away and held his hands up as if by reflex along with Alice. "Put some clothes on first, will you?" Judging by the round-framed glasses on his face combined with his outfit consisting of a light blue vest, white undershirt with red bowtie, black pants and blue shoes, one would assume that William was a studious bookworm who was at the top of his class in school and be correct without even asking the question itself. In addition to being a cautious pessimist (or as Alice would put it, a worrywart), being a pervert and getting smacked for it was the very last thing he wanted to experience in his life.
Wait a minute, William and Alice thought simultaneously as the image of Angelina standing in the bathroom doorway replayed in their head, making them realize that she wasn't nude. They opened their eyes to see that Angelina was still there but she was wearing a pink bikini bathing suit instead of nothing at all. They both had a confused look on their faces which they exchanged with each other.
"Well, are you going to stare at me or are you going to let me through?" Angelina said with her hands on her hips, more embarrassed and confused than mad as she blushed a little from how they were staring at her half-naked body. She was considered by many to be an "early bloomer," due to her body seeming more developed than other girls of her age in addition to being thin and slender. Rather than thirteen, she looked more like fifteen or sixteen years old. Angelina was very modest when it came to her looks and she'd feel embarrassed whenever she'd hear others (boys in particular) talking about her measurements for obvious reasons. Luckily, William and Alice respected her enough not to ever bring up the subject in a conversation.
"Why were you wearing a bikini in the bathtub, Angelina?" Alice inquired her best friend innocently. The thirteen year old brown mouseling was wearing an all green outfit consisting of a green short-sleeved shirt, a green blouse, a green pair of shorts, green sneakers and a green ribbon tied to a patch of short, brown hair on top of her head. Even a blind person could guess what her favorite color was right of the bat. Due to her child-like face, underdeveloped body and generally optimistic, cheerful personality, she was considered by the Hodgepodge House orphans and others in Nuvema town to be more "cute" in comparison to "beautiful" Angelina.
"Let's just say that I feel more comfortable in this," answered Angelina as she strut out of the bathroom pass Alice and William and into the teen girls bedroom itself, stepping her bare feet on the carpeted floor. "Especially after what happened last time."
"You mean when Hodgepodge dragged you out-," William was about to say when Angelina quickly shut him up.
"Don't remind me!" Angelina interrupted angrily as she walked quickly to her own bed and area of the room. "Now give me some privacy while I get dressed please."
"Got it," Alice and William said at the same time before they walked out of the teen girls bedroom and shut the door behind them.
Angelina went to her bed which was on the window side with three of six other beds and pulled the drawer in her lamp desk open to take out a square metallic case all in mere seconds. She pressed the button that opened the case's cover to reveal two rows of five Capsules each inside the bottom half. Since this a special occasion, I better put on my new outfit, she thought to herself as she selected the Capsule that was labeled "No. 07," closed the case and pushed the button on top of the capsule before she tossed it into the air. Like a grenade bomb, it burst into smoke that billowed throughout the bedroom and once the smoke cleared up and dissipated, a large, wooden wardrobe stood before Angelina in the middle of the room. Angelina sighed. "That never gets old," she cheerfully commented on the explosion before walking up to open the wardrobe door and begin selecting her attire for the day.
Capsules were a worldwide phenomenon as it made traveling as well as carrying personal items while traveling easier. From common household items to a house itself, Capsules were able to change into anything they were made to change into thanks to the Capsule Corporation (commonly known as Cap. Corp. for short) that was founded by Doctor Bruce Briefs. Needless to say, they were pretty popular among those who went on vacations and especially those who traveled as Pokemon Trainers.
After two minutes passed, Angelina opened the bedroom door to enter the hallway where her friends were waiting. The wardrobe had been converted back to Capsule form and put away with the rest. "So what do you think of my new outfit, guys?" asked Angelina as she spread her arms out to let Alice and William see her outfit. "I bought it yesterday for this very field trip and with the last of my allowance no less." As usual, she had her trademark pink ribbon, one of her few mementos of her deceased parents, tied to the patch of short, white hair in a beautiful bow but the rest of her outfit was different than usual. It consisted of a light-pink collared T-shirt with short sleeves and a zipper down the middle, a pink miniskirt of a darker shade that had a hole poked through to let her tail out, a pair of white socks and a pair of light pink and white sneakers on her feet. On her left wrist was a square-shaped watch known as an X-Transceiver, a watch that was also served as a communication device for those on the go. Overall, the outfit was light but excusable, given the warm spring weather that Saturday.
"It looks stupendous on you, Angelina," Alice complimented. "Well worth the purchase."
"Same here but there's not much time left," said William as he nervously looked at his own X-Transceiver. "It's 12:28 and we have less than two minutes to get to the foyer in time."
"Hodgepodge'll chew us out even if we are on time!" said Alice as she, Angelina and William ran down the hallway in a rush, loudly pounding the floor with their feet. "Well, mostly Angelina."
"Thanks, Alice," Angelina sarcastically said while gritting her teeth. She quickly repressed her hard feelings as she knew Alice was technically right and wasn't really being mean.
Contrary to popular stereotype depicting orphans as sad, tortured souls, Angelina, Alice and William were anything but that. Four years earlier, when nine-year-old Angelina first arrived at the Hodgepodge House in a depressing mood due to the death of her parent and past memories, Alice befriended her when no one else would and helped her out of her depression. Six months later, William arrived as a timid bookworm and Angelina and Alice volunteered to guide him around and show him the ropes at the orphanage. It wasn't until after the two mouseling girls defended William from bullies when the trio of friends began to form over the course of the following years, helping wimpy William grow a better backbone. They'd always help each other out when needed whether it'd be studying for a test (something William specialized in), comforting (which Alice was good at) or getting out of trouble with Miss Hodgepodge (something Angelina needed to work on) and always managed to make the most of their everyday life as orphans.
Getting to the foyer of the Hodgepodge house quickly was no big task to preform for Angelina, Alice and William as they each knew the massive mansion inside and out due to living there for years so they managed to make it to the foyer's staircase just in time. Miss Hodgepodge along with the self-centered Pinkpaws twins, Priscilla and Penelope, and the young photographer, Sammy Watts, were waiting impatiently when they heard the footsteps of the trio running down the stairs and turned to see them arrived at last.
"Sorry we kept you waiting," Alice apologize as she, Angelina and William panted heavily once they stopped at the bottom of the staircase.
"Took you long enough, Angelina," Priscilla said with smugness and resentment in her voice as usual as she folded her arms and smiled with that same smugness. She was a gray mouseling and was wearing an outfit that seemed more appropriate for a summer vacation than a mid-spring field trip, consisting of a very short, very thin white T-shirt, blue short shorts and blue sandals. Her resentment stemmed from her jealously of Angelina and her more developed body. "What were you doing anyways?"
"Probably another hot bath," assumed Penelope who was like her twin sister but less mean. She was a gray mouseling like Priscilla and was wearing the exact same outfit as her twin as well only the blue articles of clothes were violet. "Honestly, Angelina. You're just hopeless." She and Priscilla then begun to giggled with each other.
"You two, shut it!" snapped Miss Hodgepodge, directing her angry face at the twin mouselings. "Berating others is not acceptable in or out of this orphanage, especially when I'm around!" The elderly mouseling lady had a very strict and intimidating voice (that had a hint of British in it) and an stern, angry look in her eyes that could frighten anyone whether they be human, mouseling or Pokemon of any age. "One more crack like that out of either of you and you're both exempt from today's excursion!"
Silenced and scared, the Pinkpaws twins instantly stopped giggling. "Sorry, Miss Hodgepodge," they both said in an unusual meek tone of voice that showed no evidence of their previous emotions from seconds ago.
"I should hope so too," said Miss Hodgepodge. She then directed her angry eyes and strict voice to Angelina, Alice and William, each of whom flinched and gulped fearfully, as she made a b-line towards the trio with her hands clenched into fists. "And as for you, Angelina Mouseling," she said as raised her fist to teenage mouse girl with her index finger pointing to the young mouseling's worrisome face, "Because you were only a few seconds late and because I'm in a better mood than usual, you won't be excluded from this field trip for that but take my advice and don't start pushing your luck any further, you hear me? I expect nothing but your best behavior from you and your cohorts so don't make me disappointed. Is that understood?"
In addition to being grumpy and strict while occasionally being somewhat nice and friendly when in a good mood, Harriet Hodgepodge was known for being one of the Unova region's richest people and the last surviving member of the wealthy Hodgepodge family. She wasn't married and too old to do so at the age of sixty-seven (a rough estimate made by others) so she had no children who'd inherit her fortune once she finally kicked the bucket. It was said by those who heard of her that she turned her mansion into an orphanage either so that she could find a child or any other youngster who she deemed worthy of owning her fortune, because she was simply too lonely even with all her servants and maids catering to her every whim or because she thought she could use a little more spending money for herself. Nobody really knew as Miss Hodgepodge never bothered to tell anyone, even those she knew well. She was awfully discreet when it came to personal things about her and got awfully upset when questions of said personal things came up.
Miss Hodgepodge's typical attire consisted of square-framed glasses, a blue-violet bowler hat with a daisy attached to it, and a well-ironed, well-tailored dress that emulated her wealthy status, consisting of a blue-violet blouse and an equally blue-violet mini-skirt which were both made from the finest silk produced by various bug type Pokemon (mostly Sewaddle), knee-high socks and black high-heeled shoes that were a pain to walk in for a woman her age.
Angelina sighed in relief along with Alice and William. Thank god, we're off the hook. For now. She then smiled and spoke in a more cheerful, upbeat tone of voice. "You can count on us, Miss Hodgepodge," Angelina responded to the orphanage's headmistress.
"Considering your track records lately, you better," replied Miss Hodgepodge, putting her hands behind her back and standing up straighter like no-nonsense military lieutenant (a metaphor often used by the orphans to describe her).
"I'd hate interrupt you, Miss Hodgepodge," said Sammy Watts in a tone of voice that tried to hide his impatience. Even though I would, he thought as he knew that the headmistress would nip him for being rude. "Shouldn't we be going on our field trip right about now?" He was gray mouseling and was wearing his spring outfit which consisted of his yellow baseball hat, a red T-shirt for the warm whether, jean shorts and shoes with no socks as usual.
"Oh, quite right, Sammy," said Miss Hodgepodge, not noticing the boy's slight irritation towards her. She walked a few steps away from the young mouselings, stopped and turned around to face the six altogether. "Before we go, I think it's about time I told you about our destination. I have managed to arrange for a visit to the Pokemon Research Laboratory here in Nuvema town today with none other than Professor Valerie Frizzle and her assistants guiding us around. Once there, three of you six might be able to become Pokemon Trainers, each receiving a starter Pokemon and a Pokedex of their very own to help them begin. That's provide you pass her tests, however."
"S-seriously?" William managed to say while Angelina, Alice, Priscilla, Penelope and Sammy were still speechless with dumbfounded facial expressions after hearing the revelation. "You actually did that? For us?"
"Yes," confirmed Miss Hodgepodge, nodding. She smirked slightly at the six mouselings' predictable reactions before speaking again. "I believe an explanation is required for this."
Miss Hodgepodge told Angelina and the others of when she went out for lunch at the town's local diner last Saturday for a bit of fresh air and change in eating environments for once. Due to a shortage of tables, she and Professor Frizzle, who was also on a lunch break, had to share one and as they waited for the food to arrive, they struck up a conversation to pass the time. Eventually, Frizzle asked Hodgepodge if any of her orphans that were thirteen years of age or older were interested in Pokemon and possibly interested in becoming Trainers in order to raise their own and battle with others. After Miss Hodgepodge said yes, Frizzle then asked if she could meet the orphans at her laboratory at an appointed time so that she could evaluate their knowledge on battling, training and everything else they studied on Pokemon. Recalling how Angelina turned thirteen a month ago and how the six of them had been particularly well-behaved recently in the past month of March, Hodgepodge took up the Professor's offer and scheduled this Saturday as the day of the "field trip" as the headmistress had called it.
If it wasn't Harriet Hodgepodge and her orphanage that put Nuvema town on the map of Unova, it was Professor Valerie Frizzle and her Pokemon Research Laboratory that did so. She and her colleagues would constantly labor everyday to unravel the endless mysteries and wonders of the various Pocket Monsters, or rather Pokemon for short, in the Unova region. The Pokemon researcher herself was known not only for being the youngest Professor at age 27 but also known for being put in charge by the Pokemon League of Unova to test and evaluate those who wanted to become Pokemon Trainers and to determine if they were eligible for the role or not, succeeding her own father, Vern Frizzle who was a renowned Pokemon researcher as well. Needless to say, Valerie Frizzle was very well respected by Trainers, researchers and everyone else in the Unova region alike because of this.
After a few seconds of silence and surprised faces from the mouselings, the six of them shook off their shock as a smile widened on each of their faces which they exchanged with each other along with various comments and replies on what had just been revealed to them.
As Hodgepodge had mentioned, Angelina, Alice, William, Priscilla, Penelope and Sammy had always showed great interest in Pokemon and becoming Trainers to catch and raise their own. In addition, they would also be able to travel throughout the Unova region so they could catch more Pokemon for their team and engage other Trainers and their Pokemon in a sport called a Pokemon Battle where Trainers pitted their Pokemon against either wild Pokemon they were going to catch or another trainer's Pokemon for friendly competition, helping their Pokemon learn new techniques and increasing their strength and power. In their free time at the Hodgepodge House or school, the orphans would read and study up on the basics of Pokemon training and battling in order to prepare themselves for when they each turned thirteen, the age Unovans could become Pokemon Trainers, and started their individual journeys to sharpen their skills and their Pokemon's powers in battle. Unfortunately, neither one of the six had the guts to ask Hodgepodge directly even when they turned thirteen unlike the older teens who had previously lived in the orphanage and were all out on their own journeys with their own Pokemon but it became obvious to them that they had greatly underestimated their elderly headmistress.
"Settle down, you lot!" Hodgepodge barked less loudly than before to get the six orphans silenced again and paying attention to her. "Before we go, I should explain that Professor Frizzle has only three starter Pokemon as of now so she'll only select three of you to evaluate for today." She saw the mouselings exchange worried faces and groans with each other as the thought of waiting longer to becomes Trainers didn't sit well with them. "Will you lot just settle down and hear me out!" Hodgepodge shouted to make them quiet once more. "Those who won't get selected today will be next week or whenever the Professor receives new starters. That will depend on their behavior, just to let you know." She then turned around and began walking to the front dual doors which were surprisingly average-sized considering the rest of the Hodgepodge House. "Now, come along. We're already late as it is."
Angelina, Alice, William, Priscilla, Penelope and Sammy quickly caught up to Hodgepodge and followed her through the front doors which were opened by one of the mansion's well-clothed servants whose job was to be the doorman to exit the place through the front yard which was a gravel circular driveway for Hodgepodge's personal car and Limosine (both of which were out of fuel) with a hedge in the center. The orphanage itself was all the way at the southern end of Nuvema town and though walking from there to the lab all the way at the northern end of town wasn't a very popular thought, the six mouseling orphans were too excited to care so long as they got there. Neither one of them could believe that the day they yearned for had come so abruptly or know that fate was in the air that day.
Cast Of Characters.
Our Heroine
Angelina Mouseling (Angelina Ballerina) as Hilda
The Rivals
Alice Nimbletoes (Angelina Ballerina) as Bianca
William Longtail (Angelina Ballerina) as Cheren
Zor Prime (Robotech) as N Harmonia
The Gym Leaders
Ed (Ed, Edd n' Eddy) as Cilan
Edd (Ed, Edd n' Eddy) as Cress
Eddy (Ed, Edd n' Eddy) as Chili
Thelma Thimble (Angelina Ballerina) as Lenora
Marco Quesillo (Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps) as Burgh
Gracie (Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps) as Elesa
Jet Black (Cowboy Bebop) as Clay
Vicki (Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps) as Skyla
Lance "Lancer" Belmont (Robotech) as Brycen
Henry James Gloval (Robotech) as Drayden
Lilo Pelekai (Lilo & Stitch) as Iris
The Elite Four & Champion
Sam Manson (Danny Phantom) as Shauntal
Vlad Masters (Danny Phantom) as Grimsley
Launch (Dragon Ball) as Caitlin
Yamcha (Dragon Ball) as Marshal
Rick Hunter (Robotech) as Alder
Team Plasma
Team Plasma Knights Alex, Al and Ally (Original Characters) as Team Rocket Agents Jessie, James and Meowth
Musica and Octavia (Robotech) as Anthea and Concordia
The Shadow Triad
The Six Sages
Rezo, the Red Priest (Slayers) as Ghetsis
Secondary Characters
Harriet Hodgepodge (Angelina Ballerina)
Valerie Frizzle (The Magic School Bus) as Professor Aurea Juniper
Mary Mimi (Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps) as Fennel
Vern Frizzle (Original Character) as Professor Cedric Juniper
Thomas Thimble (Original Character) as Hawes
Andrew Nimbletoes (Original Character) as Bianca's Dad
Dana Sterling (Robotech) as Nurse Joy
Nova Satori (Robotech) as Officer Jenny
Spike Spiegal (Cowboy Bebop) as Looker
Doctor Timothy Tuttle (Angelina Ballerina)
Doctor Emil Lang (Robotech)
Priscilla Pinkpaws (Angelina Ballerina)
Penelope Pinkpaws (Angelina Ballerina)
Sammy Watts (Angelina Ballerina)
Grings Kodai (Pokemon)
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Chapter 1: A Nuvema Beginning.
A typical young child would hate taking baths for one reason or another but as far as Angelina Mouseling could remember, she loved taking baths since she was a child herself. The hot, soothing waters and white, foamy bubbles were like heaven in a tub to her and nothing got her more relaxed than taking a dip whenever she felt depressed, upset or negative in anyway. Angelina would always feel 100 percent again and that she could face the world if she wanted to after she was done soaking and scrubbing herself.
There were repercussions to Angelina's bathtimes as she would be scolded and punished by the Hodgepodge House's headmistress, Harriet Hodgepodge, whenever it was discovered that too much of the orphanage's hot water had been drawn by the thirteen year old mouseling herself. Angelina found that odd, considering Miss Hodgepodge's vast fortune that was one of the largest in the entire Unova region and massive mansion that doubled as the orphanage (the Hodgepodge House) she lived in, but was still punished whenever it happened, limiting her bathtimes to once a day and hot water to filling no more than three-fourths of the tub. It was strict rules like these that made life in the orphanage somewhat rough for a Castelia city girl with no past memories like Angelina at first but somehow she managed to make the most of her new everyday life with the baths and the friends she managed to make helping her as well.
One Saturday afternoon, Angelina was taking her hot bath which was filled nearly to the very brim with warm water and white, foamy bubbles. Only her two feet that were rested on one side of the tub near the faucet and nobs and her head resting on the other were exposed while the rest of her body was submerged under the water and covered completely by the bubbles. Her entire body was humanoid in shape and was covered by pure white fur but her head was shaped like a mouse's with two round ears and a small, pink nose. Her tail, concealed by the bubbles as well, was thin and long and grew from her lower backside and her violet eyes were closed as she relaxed. The window nearby was open slightly to let the fresh Spring air come in along with the sounds of chirping Pidove in the garden and the air.
Today wasn't a usual Saturday in the Hodgepodge House as the teens were planned to go on a field trip to undisclosed location in Nuvema town which was where the orphanage was. Miss Hodgepodge noticed that certain teens had been exhibiting better behavior than usual during the course of March so she scheduled a special excursion through town to a surprise destination for this very Saturday to reward them and Angelina was one of those six teens as luck would have it. Miss Hodgepodge didn't tell anyone where they were going as she was saving it for before they set out as a surprise but Angelina and the other six who were raring to find out and go were nonetheless amazed at the headmistress's act of honest-to-god generosity which she rarely exhibited.
Everyone got ready for the field trip early by getting dressed for the occasion and eating a good lunch to tie them over until dinner or snacktime so Angelina decided to take a fifteen minute hot bath a half-hour before the field trip to get herself at 100 percent and squeaky clean. She figured that she could get away with a full tub just this once as she assumed that Miss Hodgepodge wouldn't notice the slight hot water decrease due to her old age and could care less due to the field trip so she cast her dice and hoped for the best.
As Angelina continued to bathe blissfully, she heard a knocking on the bathroom door followed by a familiar soft voice that said in a somewhat frantic way, "Angelina! Are you in there?"
Angelina knew the voice belonged to her best friend, Alice Nimbletoes. "I'm taking a bath, Alice. What is it?" she responded.
"Not to get you all riled up, but Miss Hodgepodge and everyone else are waiting for you in the foyer," Alice answered from behind the door.
"And rather impatiently if I might add," said a different, boyish voice that Angelina recognized as William Longtail's, her second best friend. His pessimistic-like tone of voice was a dead giveaway to those who knew him. "She sent us both to get you."
Angelina was confused. "What time is it now?" she then asked as she lifted her head up from the tub's rim.
"My X-Transceiver says that it's 12:24," Alice responded.
Alarmed at how much time she wasted, Angelina instantly stood up in the tub with the bubbles covering her body, save for her arms and hands, and her eyes and mouth as wide as dinner plates. "Seriously? That's just six minutes before we're suppose to leave!" she exclaimed as she began to step out of the tub, dripping water and suds on the bathroom floor which was made of white square tiles. "I can't believe how much time I lost track of. Miss Hodgepodge is going to murder me for this." She reached back into the tub to pull the plug and drain the water.
"There's no need to worry, Angelina," said William, making an ironic statement as he was usually the worrisome one of the trio. "It's just six minutes and we can still make it there on time. I don't need to tell you that Hodgepodge detests tardiness, even from herself, so just concentrate on getting ready for the first four minutes and we'll run to join the group for the last two minutes." As usual, he was smart to ration time like food even in a few seconds.
"Alright, I get the picture!" retorted Angelina in frustration as she grabbed a pink towel from the rack on the wall near the door and dried herself off as quickly as possible with it. She discarded the towel onto the bathroom floor like a common dishrag, not fearing the consequences as her current crisis was bad enough, and opened the door to face her friends.
"Woah, Angelina!" shouted William as the male thirteen year old gray mouseling shut his eyes, turned his head away and held his hands up as if by reflex along with Alice. "Put some clothes on first, will you?" Judging by the round-framed glasses on his face combined with his outfit consisting of a light blue vest, white undershirt with red bowtie, black pants and blue shoes, one would assume that William was a studious bookworm who was at the top of his class in school and be correct without even asking the question itself. In addition to being a cautious pessimist (or as Alice would put it, a worrywart), being a pervert and getting smacked for it was the very last thing he wanted to experience in his life.
Wait a minute, William and Alice thought simultaneously as the image of Angelina standing in the bathroom doorway replayed in their head, making them realize that she wasn't nude. They opened their eyes to see that Angelina was still there but she was wearing a pink bikini bathing suit instead of nothing at all. They both had a confused look on their faces which they exchanged with each other.
"Well, are you going to stare at me or are you going to let me through?" Angelina said with her hands on her hips, more embarrassed and confused than mad as she blushed a little from how they were staring at her half-naked body. She was considered by many to be an "early bloomer," due to her body seeming more developed than other girls of her age in addition to being thin and slender. Rather than thirteen, she looked more like fifteen or sixteen years old. Angelina was very modest when it came to her looks and she'd feel embarrassed whenever she'd hear others (boys in particular) talking about her measurements for obvious reasons. Luckily, William and Alice respected her enough not to ever bring up the subject in a conversation.
"Why were you wearing a bikini in the bathtub, Angelina?" Alice inquired her best friend innocently. The thirteen year old brown mouseling was wearing an all green outfit consisting of a green short-sleeved shirt, a green blouse, a green pair of shorts, green sneakers and a green ribbon tied to a patch of short, brown hair on top of her head. Even a blind person could guess what her favorite color was right of the bat. Due to her child-like face, underdeveloped body and generally optimistic, cheerful personality, she was considered by the Hodgepodge House orphans and others in Nuvema town to be more "cute" in comparison to "beautiful" Angelina.
"Let's just say that I feel more comfortable in this," answered Angelina as she strut out of the bathroom pass Alice and William and into the teen girls bedroom itself, stepping her bare feet on the carpeted floor. "Especially after what happened last time."
"You mean when Hodgepodge dragged you out-," William was about to say when Angelina quickly shut him up.
"Don't remind me!" Angelina interrupted angrily as she walked quickly to her own bed and area of the room. "Now give me some privacy while I get dressed please."
"Got it," Alice and William said at the same time before they walked out of the teen girls bedroom and shut the door behind them.
Angelina went to her bed which was on the window side with three of six other beds and pulled the drawer in her lamp desk open to take out a square metallic case all in mere seconds. She pressed the button that opened the case's cover to reveal two rows of five Capsules each inside the bottom half. Since this a special occasion, I better put on my new outfit, she thought to herself as she selected the Capsule that was labeled "No. 07," closed the case and pushed the button on top of the capsule before she tossed it into the air. Like a grenade bomb, it burst into smoke that billowed throughout the bedroom and once the smoke cleared up and dissipated, a large, wooden wardrobe stood before Angelina in the middle of the room. Angelina sighed. "That never gets old," she cheerfully commented on the explosion before walking up to open the wardrobe door and begin selecting her attire for the day.
Capsules were a worldwide phenomenon as it made traveling as well as carrying personal items while traveling easier. From common household items to a house itself, Capsules were able to change into anything they were made to change into thanks to the Capsule Corporation (commonly known as Cap. Corp. for short) that was founded by Doctor Bruce Briefs. Needless to say, they were pretty popular among those who went on vacations and especially those who traveled as Pokemon Trainers.
After two minutes passed, Angelina opened the bedroom door to enter the hallway where her friends were waiting. The wardrobe had been converted back to Capsule form and put away with the rest. "So what do you think of my new outfit, guys?" asked Angelina as she spread her arms out to let Alice and William see her outfit. "I bought it yesterday for this very field trip and with the last of my allowance no less." As usual, she had her trademark pink ribbon, one of her few mementos of her deceased parents, tied to the patch of short, white hair in a beautiful bow but the rest of her outfit was different than usual. It consisted of a light-pink collared T-shirt with short sleeves and a zipper down the middle, a pink miniskirt of a darker shade that had a hole poked through to let her tail out, a pair of white socks and a pair of light pink and white sneakers on her feet. On her left wrist was a square-shaped watch known as an X-Transceiver, a watch that was also served as a communication device for those on the go. Overall, the outfit was light but excusable, given the warm spring weather that Saturday.
"It looks stupendous on you, Angelina," Alice complimented. "Well worth the purchase."
"Same here but there's not much time left," said William as he nervously looked at his own X-Transceiver. "It's 12:28 and we have less than two minutes to get to the foyer in time."
"Hodgepodge'll chew us out even if we are on time!" said Alice as she, Angelina and William ran down the hallway in a rush, loudly pounding the floor with their feet. "Well, mostly Angelina."
"Thanks, Alice," Angelina sarcastically said while gritting her teeth. She quickly repressed her hard feelings as she knew Alice was technically right and wasn't really being mean.
Contrary to popular stereotype depicting orphans as sad, tortured souls, Angelina, Alice and William were anything but that. Four years earlier, when nine-year-old Angelina first arrived at the Hodgepodge House in a depressing mood due to the death of her parent and past memories, Alice befriended her when no one else would and helped her out of her depression. Six months later, William arrived as a timid bookworm and Angelina and Alice volunteered to guide him around and show him the ropes at the orphanage. It wasn't until after the two mouseling girls defended William from bullies when the trio of friends began to form over the course of the following years, helping wimpy William grow a better backbone. They'd always help each other out when needed whether it'd be studying for a test (something William specialized in), comforting (which Alice was good at) or getting out of trouble with Miss Hodgepodge (something Angelina needed to work on) and always managed to make the most of their everyday life as orphans.
Getting to the foyer of the Hodgepodge house quickly was no big task to preform for Angelina, Alice and William as they each knew the massive mansion inside and out due to living there for years so they managed to make it to the foyer's staircase just in time. Miss Hodgepodge along with the self-centered Pinkpaws twins, Priscilla and Penelope, and the young photographer, Sammy Watts, were waiting impatiently when they heard the footsteps of the trio running down the stairs and turned to see them arrived at last.
"Sorry we kept you waiting," Alice apologize as she, Angelina and William panted heavily once they stopped at the bottom of the staircase.
"Took you long enough, Angelina," Priscilla said with smugness and resentment in her voice as usual as she folded her arms and smiled with that same smugness. She was a gray mouseling and was wearing an outfit that seemed more appropriate for a summer vacation than a mid-spring field trip, consisting of a very short, very thin white T-shirt, blue short shorts and blue sandals. Her resentment stemmed from her jealously of Angelina and her more developed body. "What were you doing anyways?"
"Probably another hot bath," assumed Penelope who was like her twin sister but less mean. She was a gray mouseling like Priscilla and was wearing the exact same outfit as her twin as well only the blue articles of clothes were violet. "Honestly, Angelina. You're just hopeless." She and Priscilla then begun to giggled with each other.
"You two, shut it!" snapped Miss Hodgepodge, directing her angry face at the twin mouselings. "Berating others is not acceptable in or out of this orphanage, especially when I'm around!" The elderly mouseling lady had a very strict and intimidating voice (that had a hint of British in it) and an stern, angry look in her eyes that could frighten anyone whether they be human, mouseling or Pokemon of any age. "One more crack like that out of either of you and you're both exempt from today's excursion!"
Silenced and scared, the Pinkpaws twins instantly stopped giggling. "Sorry, Miss Hodgepodge," they both said in an unusual meek tone of voice that showed no evidence of their previous emotions from seconds ago.
"I should hope so too," said Miss Hodgepodge. She then directed her angry eyes and strict voice to Angelina, Alice and William, each of whom flinched and gulped fearfully, as she made a b-line towards the trio with her hands clenched into fists. "And as for you, Angelina Mouseling," she said as raised her fist to teenage mouse girl with her index finger pointing to the young mouseling's worrisome face, "Because you were only a few seconds late and because I'm in a better mood than usual, you won't be excluded from this field trip for that but take my advice and don't start pushing your luck any further, you hear me? I expect nothing but your best behavior from you and your cohorts so don't make me disappointed. Is that understood?"
In addition to being grumpy and strict while occasionally being somewhat nice and friendly when in a good mood, Harriet Hodgepodge was known for being one of the Unova region's richest people and the last surviving member of the wealthy Hodgepodge family. She wasn't married and too old to do so at the age of sixty-seven (a rough estimate made by others) so she had no children who'd inherit her fortune once she finally kicked the bucket. It was said by those who heard of her that she turned her mansion into an orphanage either so that she could find a child or any other youngster who she deemed worthy of owning her fortune, because she was simply too lonely even with all her servants and maids catering to her every whim or because she thought she could use a little more spending money for herself. Nobody really knew as Miss Hodgepodge never bothered to tell anyone, even those she knew well. She was awfully discreet when it came to personal things about her and got awfully upset when questions of said personal things came up.
Miss Hodgepodge's typical attire consisted of square-framed glasses, a blue-violet bowler hat with a daisy attached to it, and a well-ironed, well-tailored dress that emulated her wealthy status, consisting of a blue-violet blouse and an equally blue-violet mini-skirt which were both made from the finest silk produced by various bug type Pokemon (mostly Sewaddle), knee-high socks and black high-heeled shoes that were a pain to walk in for a woman her age.
Angelina sighed in relief along with Alice and William. Thank god, we're off the hook. For now. She then smiled and spoke in a more cheerful, upbeat tone of voice. "You can count on us, Miss Hodgepodge," Angelina responded to the orphanage's headmistress.
"Considering your track records lately, you better," replied Miss Hodgepodge, putting her hands behind her back and standing up straighter like no-nonsense military lieutenant (a metaphor often used by the orphans to describe her).
"I'd hate interrupt you, Miss Hodgepodge," said Sammy Watts in a tone of voice that tried to hide his impatience. Even though I would, he thought as he knew that the headmistress would nip him for being rude. "Shouldn't we be going on our field trip right about now?" He was gray mouseling and was wearing his spring outfit which consisted of his yellow baseball hat, a red T-shirt for the warm whether, jean shorts and shoes with no socks as usual.
"Oh, quite right, Sammy," said Miss Hodgepodge, not noticing the boy's slight irritation towards her. She walked a few steps away from the young mouselings, stopped and turned around to face the six altogether. "Before we go, I think it's about time I told you about our destination. I have managed to arrange for a visit to the Pokemon Research Laboratory here in Nuvema town today with none other than Professor Valerie Frizzle and her assistants guiding us around. Once there, three of you six might be able to become Pokemon Trainers, each receiving a starter Pokemon and a Pokedex of their very own to help them begin. That's provide you pass her tests, however."
"S-seriously?" William managed to say while Angelina, Alice, Priscilla, Penelope and Sammy were still speechless with dumbfounded facial expressions after hearing the revelation. "You actually did that? For us?"
"Yes," confirmed Miss Hodgepodge, nodding. She smirked slightly at the six mouselings' predictable reactions before speaking again. "I believe an explanation is required for this."
Miss Hodgepodge told Angelina and the others of when she went out for lunch at the town's local diner last Saturday for a bit of fresh air and change in eating environments for once. Due to a shortage of tables, she and Professor Frizzle, who was also on a lunch break, had to share one and as they waited for the food to arrive, they struck up a conversation to pass the time. Eventually, Frizzle asked Hodgepodge if any of her orphans that were thirteen years of age or older were interested in Pokemon and possibly interested in becoming Trainers in order to raise their own and battle with others. After Miss Hodgepodge said yes, Frizzle then asked if she could meet the orphans at her laboratory at an appointed time so that she could evaluate their knowledge on battling, training and everything else they studied on Pokemon. Recalling how Angelina turned thirteen a month ago and how the six of them had been particularly well-behaved recently in the past month of March, Hodgepodge took up the Professor's offer and scheduled this Saturday as the day of the "field trip" as the headmistress had called it.
If it wasn't Harriet Hodgepodge and her orphanage that put Nuvema town on the map of Unova, it was Professor Valerie Frizzle and her Pokemon Research Laboratory that did so. She and her colleagues would constantly labor everyday to unravel the endless mysteries and wonders of the various Pocket Monsters, or rather Pokemon for short, in the Unova region. The Pokemon researcher herself was known not only for being the youngest Professor at age 27 but also known for being put in charge by the Pokemon League of Unova to test and evaluate those who wanted to become Pokemon Trainers and to determine if they were eligible for the role or not, succeeding her own father, Vern Frizzle who was a renowned Pokemon researcher as well. Needless to say, Valerie Frizzle was very well respected by Trainers, researchers and everyone else in the Unova region alike because of this.
After a few seconds of silence and surprised faces from the mouselings, the six of them shook off their shock as a smile widened on each of their faces which they exchanged with each other along with various comments and replies on what had just been revealed to them.
As Hodgepodge had mentioned, Angelina, Alice, William, Priscilla, Penelope and Sammy had always showed great interest in Pokemon and becoming Trainers to catch and raise their own. In addition, they would also be able to travel throughout the Unova region so they could catch more Pokemon for their team and engage other Trainers and their Pokemon in a sport called a Pokemon Battle where Trainers pitted their Pokemon against either wild Pokemon they were going to catch or another trainer's Pokemon for friendly competition, helping their Pokemon learn new techniques and increasing their strength and power. In their free time at the Hodgepodge House or school, the orphans would read and study up on the basics of Pokemon training and battling in order to prepare themselves for when they each turned thirteen, the age Unovans could become Pokemon Trainers, and started their individual journeys to sharpen their skills and their Pokemon's powers in battle. Unfortunately, neither one of the six had the guts to ask Hodgepodge directly even when they turned thirteen unlike the older teens who had previously lived in the orphanage and were all out on their own journeys with their own Pokemon but it became obvious to them that they had greatly underestimated their elderly headmistress.
"Settle down, you lot!" Hodgepodge barked less loudly than before to get the six orphans silenced again and paying attention to her. "Before we go, I should explain that Professor Frizzle has only three starter Pokemon as of now so she'll only select three of you to evaluate for today." She saw the mouselings exchange worried faces and groans with each other as the thought of waiting longer to becomes Trainers didn't sit well with them. "Will you lot just settle down and hear me out!" Hodgepodge shouted to make them quiet once more. "Those who won't get selected today will be next week or whenever the Professor receives new starters. That will depend on their behavior, just to let you know." She then turned around and began walking to the front dual doors which were surprisingly average-sized considering the rest of the Hodgepodge House. "Now, come along. We're already late as it is."
Angelina, Alice, William, Priscilla, Penelope and Sammy quickly caught up to Hodgepodge and followed her through the front doors which were opened by one of the mansion's well-clothed servants whose job was to be the doorman to exit the place through the front yard which was a gravel circular driveway for Hodgepodge's personal car and Limosine (both of which were out of fuel) with a hedge in the center. The orphanage itself was all the way at the southern end of Nuvema town and though walking from there to the lab all the way at the northern end of town wasn't a very popular thought, the six mouseling orphans were too excited to care so long as they got there. Neither one of them could believe that the day they yearned for had come so abruptly or know that fate was in the air that day.
For your information:
In my version of the Pokemon world, mammals were civilized to integrate them into society years (possibly a century) prior to this series. They aren't featured in this fic but are shown in a side project: Pokemon Adventures: Diamond & Pearl. Unova's main demographic is humans and mouselings (anthropomorphic mice) in my fic.
Capsules are obviously from the Dragon Ball series and are to be used in this fic as a replacement for the games' hammerspace backpacks which would not make sense in real life. I know that the Capsule concept seems outlandish but hey, this is Pokemon.
The characters may not seem like much but I do plan to delve deeper into their characters and backgrounds throughout their Unova region journey. Sadly, I can't spoil it for you guys.
Now that I have that out of the way, go on and critique. Just remember to mention the good parts along with the bad parts. I can't stress it enough.
Thank you and I look forward to your reviews. Don't hold back on what you have to say.
Edit: I added more to what I had. Be sure to comment on that.
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