TEEN: If at first you don’t succeed...

[Ihsan997]

This is my first story written in the fandom. Commentary and constructive criticism are most welcome!

Rating: teen

Genre: action, adventure, friendship

Synopsis: Dunstan is a fourth-grade student in a cozy yet little-known village in the Galar Region. In such a small town without even a Pokémon center or access to a professor, becoming a trainer seems like a silly dream. Having recovered from the loss of his first ever Pokémon, however, the boy dusts off his knees and decides to try one more time to successfully bond with a Pokémon of his own.

Content warnings

• Moderate violence: there are two violent Pokémon deaths. No gore is shown though some is implied. A scary Pokémon also attempts to harm a trainer though doesn’t follow through.
• Strong language: there are the sort of insults one might expect from schoolchildren but nothing too vulgar.

I don’t own Pokémon.

Table of contents

• 1: Give It Another Go
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10
• 11
• 12
• 13
• 14
• 15

 

[Ihsan997]

This is the first chapter! Featuring a main character who not only has two living parents, but also a household which is boringly average.

Spoiler: Chapter 1: Give It Another Go

One more crumpled up sheet of scratch paper fell onto the overflowing rubbish bin in the well-kept bedroom of the cozy merchant house. A veritable mountain of such paper balls overflowed as a tawny-haired boy revised his homework, going through pages and pages of failed attempts. Seated at a desk just behind his wooden bed, Dunstan Jeuler spent a great deal of time going through each math equation by hand, avoiding use of a calculator. His work didn’t go unnoticed: to his side of the room, like a mirror image which had aged, his older brother stood up from a similar desk behind a similar bed, looking over the fourth-grader’s activity skeptically.



“Finals are already over,” said Winston, the older of the two brothers while walking toward the door. “You don’t need to work so hard.”



The younger of the two brothers didn’t even bother looking up while filling out a second piece of scratch paper. “I know I got this question wrong on the finals. I don’t want to get it wrong again, or any question like it.”



The older brother rolled his eyes but refrained from commentary. Either way, they were both cut off by their mother calling them from downstairs. “Dinner is ready!” came her voice, right up the stairs as if she were only around the corner.



Wordlessly, Winston left, walking out into the hallway and down the stairs with their sister Rochelle. Shaking out his sore hand, the youngest child of the family realized that he had been working for quite some time. Standing up and straightening out his plain brown t-shirt, he sighed heavily and resigned himself to working on the problem tomorrow. His stomach growled as he followed his two siblings down the stairs and into the Jeuler family’s dining room, and the aroma of ground beef and pasta wafted through the air while his heavyset pair of parents set the food dishes on the table. Per their habit, the three children went into the kitchen to fetch the plates and silverware and set up the rest of the table before everyone sat down to eat.



Unlike the families of Dunstan’s friends in Gemston Glen, the Jeulers usually didn’t talk much while they ate. His parents, seated at either side of the table set the example by dining in near-silence until they’d finished everything on their respective plates. His older brother finished eating first. “Done. Can I get started in the kitchen? Galar’s Got Talent comes on in less than ten.”



Their mother was almost finished herself. “Go on, dear; remember to clear everything on the kitchen counter.”



No sooner had Winston left than did Rochelle. “Can I get started too?” she asked.



“Are you sure neither of you want seconds?” their mother asked back, though she received dual ‘no’ answers from both older children.



“This was enough. I don’t want to overeat!” Rochelle said while taking her empty plate to the kitchen.



“Alright then,” their mother chortled in between bites. As she chewed, she noticed that Dunstan had already finished his dinner as well as a little extra. The boy had set his fork and spoon down on the plate and had waited for his parents to finish. “How do you think your grades will be on the final exams?” his mother asked him, probing for the reason why.



Though not shy by nature, Dunstan was hesitant to speak. “The exams were fine, things are fine; I’m just happy that summer is approaching,” he replied slowly.



His mother rested her chin on her hands. “Enjoy summers while you still can; you’ll miss them when you’re all grown up.”



“I’m not in a hurry,” he replied before looking down. He stared at his plate for a while, concerned over their upcoming reactions. “I was thinking that…you know…maybe I could get a Pokémon this summer. To train.”



Both of his parents fell quiet for a moment, the only sound being that of his siblings washing the dishes in the kitchen and his father finishing dinner. The silence was uncomfortable, and Dunstan felt more anxious about their reaction because of it. “I see,” his mother began, speaking carefully in a way that signaled less than immediate approval. “You don’t mean a working Pokémon like our Carbink, I take it.”



“No, not like that. I mean, I want to train a Pokémon for battles again. Not just treating it as a joke either, I mean, I really want to commit to it.”



He looked up to find his mother looking over at their father. Quiet though not oblivious to the conversation, the man finished chewing his food and wiped his mouth and tawny beard with a napkin before speaking. “That’s a good deal of responsibility.”



Dunstan tried to recall all of the sales pitch he’d prepared earlier in the day. “It is, and that’s why I want to try it. Well, part of why. This will be a real challenge for me, and since I’ll be off school…” His voice trailed off, and he hoped his parents would finish the sentence for him. Lucky for him, they understood his point, if not without reservations.



“…it’s a constructive way to use your time,” his mother said. “Winston plans on shadowing us at work, and your sister says that the library spoke to her about going full-time next year; we were beginning to wonder if any of you would take an interest in Pokémon.”



“It will be tough,” his father chimed in, having finished his food. “Gemston Glen doesn’t have a Pokémon center, and there aren’t any professors up here in the mountains.” His father stopped speaking suddenly as if he’d just gained a thought, raising both Dunstan’s hopes and the boy’s feeling of suspense. “Lorrie, what about your friend Nesta, down at the tea room?”



Dunstan furrowed his brow in confusion, but his mother’s eyes lit up. “Yes…that’s right. Nesta is the closest thing our village has to a guide for interested young people.”



“I don’t get it,” Dunstan said. “Isn’t Nesta the secretary at the medical center?”



His mother let out another chortle. “That she is…for now. But back in the day, when we were young, she worked briefly as a Pokémon breeder. She left town to stay with her aunt and uncle when we were teenagers and only returned just before you were born.”



“So that means…oh! Oh wow, I didn’t know anybody here in town had ever worked with Pokémon.” Just then, the Jeuler family’s Carbink floated through the room and squeaked at Dunstan in offense. “Sorry, I didn’t mean like that! I meant that nobody here has Pokémon for non-professional purposes.”



“That’s right. It’s been a long time since anyone of any expertise was involved with Pokémon here. I know some of the other moms talk about their children practicing, but that’s the extent of it. Only Nesta has relevant job experience. It isn’t much, of course, nothing like you’d find in a larger town like Wedgehurst, but at least we have one person.”



“Do you think Nesta could help me learn?” Dunstan asked hopefully.



“Of course, sweetie! I’ll call her after tomorrow,” his mother replied. “You only have one day of classes left, and then you’ll be on break. We’ll see what she says around then. Doesn’t that sound nice, Stan?”



Dunstan’s father nodded thoughtfully though he remained seated. His lack of comment worried the boy, and he sensed that his father had more reservations than his mother. “Sounds like a plan. Listen, Dunstan and I can clear off the table. We’ll be in to watch in a few minutes.”



Both of them understood what he meant, and Dunstan’s mother nodded. “No problem. I’ll go turn on the tv,” she said, and then promptly excused herself to the other room.



Although Dunstan still felt a bit anxious, he was relieved to see that his father wasn’t leaving them to linger in silence. “Help me collect all the plates and silverware first,” his father said. The two of them stood up and stacked the plates and an empty dish carefully. Once they were at work collecting the dishes full of leftovers, his father brought up a painful topic which Dunstan had really wanted to avoid discussing. “We’ll do what we can to support you, son; I’m happy that at least someone in our family will give Pokémon training a shot. And we’ll make sure things are done right this time.”



Dunstan sighed through his nose. “We will, dad.”



His father held a hand out near his shoulder to stop him before going directly into the kitchen. “I know you were very upset about…your Rockruff,” his father said, reminding the boy of a topic he’d wished to forget. “But these are learning experiences. Let’s use what happened as an opportunity to do better this time. Your mother and I will do what we can.”



As grateful as Dunstan was, he found it difficult to smile sincerely in the wake up the uncomfortable memory being mentioned. “Thanks dad,” the boy said, mustering as much enthusiasm as he could. He looked up and, even though he couldn’t quite smile, he did speak truthfully. “By the end of the summer, I’ll train my first Pokémon.”

 

[System Error]

Okay, let's get to reading this. Like the premise, let's get to it.

- Two living parents? Is that legal?
- Good thing I used the word tawny before for a meme, otherwise I'd be a bit confounded.
- One hell of a name on this kid. I am going to keep on mistaking it at Dusten, not gonna lie.
- It's a bit weird to be calling them finals when it comes to a fourth-grader. Typically I only really heard finals in that way used in the context of college and university students, and sometimes high schoolers, but definitely not elementary schoolers. Maybe it's different in England.
- Well this family appears to be very traditional with that kind of table etiquette.
- That feel when reality happens and you have school to deal with as a kid instead of just being able to go on a journey like snap. I like it
- next yea; <- Typo
- Oh, now I get the pun. Jueler, jewler. Explains the Carbink. And then there's Gemston Glen, or GEM, to consider as well. I like it.
- Nesta, Nesta. Feel like I should know that name, but it's not ringing a bell. Gen 8 was just meh.
- Well this is off to an ominous start. An event that which must not be spoken of. Going the brutally harsh super hyper realism route I see. Guess it's what the advertised violent deaths are about.

Of to a simple start. A short little chapter and a short little intro. We get a good idea of Dunsten's general character from it; although the others could have gotten a bit more time, there's time to come on that one if need be. Looking forward to what's next.

 

[Ihsan997]

Oh, thank you so much! I’m thrilled it held your attention for that long. I fixed that typo, too.

- Two living parents? Is that legal?

Ha ha, I’m glad that resonated. Though I’m leaving the flow of the narrative open to change, I have a few more themes planned which turn a few fanfiction tropes on their head. I don’t think it will be the main focus, but they are fun Easter eggs to toss into the story.

- It's a bit weird to be calling them finals when it comes to a fourth-grader. Typically I only really heard finals in that way used in the context of college and university students, and sometimes high schoolers, but definitely not elementary schoolers. Maybe it's different in England.

I checked, and now I realize that this actually isn’t typical. It exists, including for my kids, but apparently that’s only a minority of schools.

- Well this family appears to be very traditional with that kind of table etiquette.

That might not be the norm, yeah. I left the US around 15 years ago to live in my wife’s country, so I’m slightly behind the times on family dynamics. I quite enjoy the interactions with my kids IRL: no yelling, guiding rather than punishing, and setting an example by limiting my own time spent on electronic devices. I hope it isn’t too weird for potential readers.

- Nesta, Nesta. Feel like I should know that name, but it's not ringing a bell. Gen 8 was just meh.

She’s actually an OC. I figure I could make up a person with minimal experience working with Pokémon, rather than someone famous throughout the region, without upsetting canon.

- Well this is off to an ominous start. An event that which must not be spoken of. Going the brutally harsh super hyper realism route I see. Guess it's what the advertised violent deaths are about.

There will be some more of that, yeah, though I’m taking it as a personal challenge to work based on the idea that what is implied can be more tragic or painful than what is graphically shown. Time will tell if I can pull that off successfully.

We get a good idea of Dunsten's general character from it; although the others could have gotten a bit more time, there's time to come on that one if need be.

That’s a useful comment...I‘ll rethink upcoming chapters and see if I can flesh the others out a little more, especially through actions.

Thank you so much for commenting! I do have a bit of info here to consider and see what improvements I can make to the narrative.