In the Cupboard!

[Chidamari Sketch]

Inserts Ika Musume (Squid Girl), a stubborn squid/human hybrid female who appears to be a messenger of the sea that surfaced from the ocean to invade the earth, as she is frustrated by humanity's careless pollution. Unfortunately, her lack of experience with life from the land makes her rather helpless in her "conquest."

Death Star [Imperial Battle Station]

Spork [Eating utensil]
Valentina Kerman [Female Kerbal]
Urotsuki [Hikikomori (English Tl:Shut-In)]
Executor (3 turns till raining fire) [Sith Battlecruiser]
Saya [Eldritch Abomination]
Tomoko Kuroki [Socially Awkward High-Schooler]
Emperor Palpatine [Sith Lord]
Shiny Dragonite [Dragon-type Pokemon]
'Ol Disney + Kakuna(x3233) [Mass-Production Facility with Extras]
Admiral Snackbar [Pun]
Biometric Resonance Scanner [Biometric Resonance Scanner]
Godzilla [Mutated Godzillasaurus]
Ripto [Dinosaur]
Jim Raynor [Marshall of these parts. (Starcraft)]
Ika Musume [Invader from the Ocean]

 

[italicizewafer]

Inserts the villain from Spyro 3
Effect: Fights with Ripto.

 

[Chidamari Sketch]

Inserts the Pyro, a violent mercenary well known for being delusional and frightening.

Also, @waterlubber; the official name of Spyro 3's villain is "The Sorceress"

Executor fires, destroying the Spork

Death Star [Imperial Battle Station]

Valentina Kerman [Female Kerbal]
Urotsuki [Hikikomori (English Tl:Shut-In)]
Executor (3 turns till raining fire) [Sith Battlecruiser]
Saya [Eldritch Abomination]
Tomoko Kuroki [Socially Awkward High-Schooler]
Emperor Palpatine [Sith Lord]
Shiny Dragonite [Dragon-type Pokemon]
'Ol Disney + Kakuna(x3233) [Mass-Production Facility with Extras]
Admiral Snackbar [Pun]
Biometric Resonance Scanner [Biometric Resonance Scanner]
Godzilla [Mutated Godzillasaurus]
Ripto [Incompetent yet Tyrannical Dinosaur]
Jim Raynor [Marshall of these parts. (Starcraft)]
Ika Musume [Invader from the Ocean]
Sorceress [Infanticidal Dinosaur]
Pyro [Delusional Mercenary]

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

*inserts Ketsuban*

Effect: much like Missingno. this item corrupts the effects of another item and duplicates an item 128 times. Unfortunately, since it isn't as stable as Missingno. it glitches its own effect and duplicates itself 128 times. Each of those duplicates duplicates themselves 128 times, and each of their duplicates duplicates itself 128 times in a continuous loop.
The end result divides the Death Star by zero, causing a massive paradox which erases all of its contents and resets to Cupboard to its original state.

Cupboard:

 

[ChillinMcMillan]

*Inserts Cookies and Milk*

Cupboard:
Milk
Cookies

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

*takes the cookies, because the Dark Side must always have cookies*

Cupboard:
Milk

 

[italicizewafer]

Cleanliness!

Inserts a RetroTV
Effect: Similar to the teachy TV, this TV can dial in a date and play any show from that time period. (Similar to SCP-185).
Cupboard:
Cookie Crumbs
Slightly spoiled milk
Retro TV

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

*inserts Denzel Crocker into the Cupboard once again*

Effect: The Cupboard is henceforth known as the Crocker Cave and cannot be renamed until after Denzel Crocker has been removed from the Crocker Cave. No magic or fairy related objects may be placed into the Crocker Cave. Denzel Crocker cannot be removed or destroyed as long as he is in the Crocker Cave.

The Crocker Cave:
Milk
RetroTV (tuned to Fairly Oddparents)
Denzel Crocker

 

[italicizewafer]

Adds CrockerCorp

Effect: Plasters the cupboard with annoying pop-up ads for mind control products.

 

[Chidamari Sketch]

Inserts Renge Miyauchi, a expressionless yet cheerful and energetic 1st grader who likes to give nicknames to her friends.

The Crocker Cave:

Milk
RetroTV (tuned to Fairly Oddparents)
Denzel Crocker
CrockerCorp (Broadcasting)
Renge Miyauchi

 

[italicizewafer]

Inserts Mr. Rotwood

Effect: He immediately begins talking to Denzel. They look like they're having a lot of fun...

Hey, what are those two CEO's over there arguing about? How Disney and Nickelodean must never cross over? At least one kept all their good shows...
Also, NIEN.


The Crocker Cave:

Milk
RetroTV (tuned to Fairly Oddparents)
Denzel Crocker
CrockerCorp (Broadcasting)
Renge Miyauchi
Mr. Rotwood

 

[Chidamari Sketch]

Inserts Squawks the Parrot, one of Donkey Kong's Animal Friends. He can spit out eggs to attack foes, find puzzle pieces, and can bring in a lantern to brighten up dark areas.

The Crocker Cave:

Milk
RetroTV (tuned to Fairly Oddparents)
Denzel Crocker
CrockerCorp (Broadcasting)
Renge Miyauchi
Mr. Rotwood
Squawks the Parrot

 

[italicizewafer]

Inserts the Fandomizer:
Effect: Tunes the RetroTV to whatever fandom has the most items in cupboard. TV now tuned to OLD CARTOONS.

 

[Chidamari Sketch]

I really didn't wanna ping pong again, but this cupboard is getting kinda dusty...

Inserts a Scattergun

The Crocker Cave:

Milk
RetroTV (tuned to Fairly Oddparents)
Denzel Crocker
CrockerCorp (Broadcasting)
Renge Miyauchi
Mr. Rotwood
Squawks the Parrot
Fandomizer
Scattergun

 

[Wispy Willow]

*Inserts a Nuke*

Effect: BOMB THEM ALL!!!

Smoking Pile of Ashes:

 

[italicizewafer]

Inserts a Recovery CD.
Effect: Slowly brings items from the past back into the current time. It does not shut off, and cannot be removed by any other item, until it has restored 75%. It will continue until 100%, but can be removed past 75.

Cupboard:
Recovery CD
Milk [Spoiled]

 

[Chidamari Sketch]

Insert Mecha Sonic

Cupboard:

Recovery CD
Milk [Spoiled]
Mecha Sonic

 

[Wispy Willow]

*Removes the Recovery CD*

Cupboard:

Milk (Spoiled)
Mecha Sonic

 

[Chidamari Sketch]

Inserts Schwer-Muta Casasola Merkle, or just Schwer. She is a shy, reclusive girl who, due to her former life in a barren environment, is very suspicious towards others. She brings along her pet squid, Zeppy. She feels that Zeppy is her only friend.

Cupboard:

Milk (Spoiled)
Mecha Sonic
Schwer (Zeppy sitting on top of her head)

 

[italicizewafer]

Inserts the Deus Ex Non-Explodia-Machina.
Effect: It cannot be removed by any means, until it disables itself. (see next part.) It cannot be disabled, damaged, broken, removed, moved, replaced, teleported, isolated, turned off, suppressed, or in any other way stopping its effect from executing. Its main purpose is to automatically capture and disable all explosions, events, bombs, removals, mass murders, or other events that cause the Cupboard to lose more than 75% of it's items in one shot. However, it will turn itself off when the cupboard has 15 or more items in it, and is more than 5 turns old, allowing it to be emptied. This is an individual item count, and does not count "stacked" items. Otherwise, it has no special effects and is shorted to "DENMA". "DENMA" is a lovable teddy bear in it's inert form, and everybody likes DENMA.



Cupboard:

Milk (Spoiled)
Mecha Sonic
Schwer (Zeppy sitting on top of her head)
DENMA