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In the Cupboard!

I insert a Toy Stoplight. It automatically lights up after two posts, then turns off after two more, indefinitely.

Cupboard:

Life
"MindJack"
Metroid
Black Forest Cake
The letter W
Pinkie Pie (each post adds a Cupcake)
Cupcake (x7)
Monoko
Umbrella
Toy Stoplight: Off (switches on or off after two posts) Turns on in: 2
 
Inserts a Victini

Cupboard:

Life
"MindJack"
Metroid
Black Forest Cake
The letter W
Pinkie Pie (each post adds a Cupcake)
Cupcake (x8)
Monoko
Umbrella
Toy Stoplight: Off (switches on or off after two posts) Turns on in: 1
Victini
 
I insert Mr. Salt.

Due to the Toy Stoplight switching on, Monoko becomes a multi-limbed atrocity.

Cupboard:

Life
"MindJack"
Metroid
Black Forest Cake
The letter W
Pinkie Pie (each post adds a Cupcake)
Cupcake (x9)
Multi-limbed atrocity
Umbrella
Toy Stoplight: On (switches on or off after two posts) Turns off in: 2
Victini
Mr. Salt
 
Inserts Ghatanothoa

Cupboard:

Life
"MindJack"
Metroid
Black Forest Cake
The letter W
Pinkie Pie (each post adds a Cupcake)
Cupcake (x10)
Monoko (Multi-limbed)
Umbrella
Toy Stoplight: On (switches on or off after two posts) Turns off in: 2
Victini
Mr. Salt
Ghatanothoa
 
I remove Life from the cupboard, because who needs that? (actually because nom nom cereal)

The Stoplight switches back off, and Monoko reverts to normal, I guess.

Cupboard:

"MindJack"
Metroid
Black Forest Cake
The letter W
Pinkie Pie (each post adds a Cupcake)
Cupcake (x11)
Monoko
Umbrella
Toy Stoplight: Off (switches on or off after two posts) Turns on in: 2
Victini
Mr. Salt
Ghatanothoa
 
I remove the Toy Stoplight because it's somehow unsettling. And apparently Ghatanothoa is not...

Cupboard:

"MindJack"
Metroid
Black Forest Cake
The letter W
Pinkie Pie (each post adds a Cupcake)
Cupcake (x12)
Monoko
Umbrella
Victini
Mr. Salt
Ghatanothoa
 
If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to remove some of those Cupcakes for you. All of them, in fact. Well, excluding the one Ponk makes as part of this post, that is.

Cupboard:

"MindJack"
Metroid
Black Forest Cake
The letter W
Pinkie Pie (each post adds a Cupcake)
Cupcake (x1)
Monoko
Umbrella
Victini
Mr. Salt
Ghatanothoa
 
Inserts Matador

Cupboard:

"MindJack"
Metroid
Black Forest Cake
The letter W
Pinkie Pie (each post adds a Cupcake)
Cupcake (x2)
Monoko
Umbrella
Victini
Mr. Salt
Ghatanothoa
Matador
 
*Inserts Number 9*

Effect: After 9 posts, something weird will happen, and the 9 will disappear at the same time.

Cupboard:

Number 9 (9 posts until something weird happens and this item disappears)
 
Inserts Hata no Kokoro

Cupboard:

Number 9 (7 posts until something weird happens and this item disappears)
Green Kryptonite
Scone
Hata no Kokoro
 
Inserts Key Bum, a small familiar who collects keys and in return gives out chests that contain items in them.

Cupboard:

Number 9 (4 posts until something weird happens and this item disappears)
Green Kryptonite
Scone
Hata no Kokoro
Notice
Key Bum
 
Inserts an Apology Letter that obscures the Notice, effectively eliminating it from the Cupboard.
Sorry for having an episode of backseat moderating. This thread should be enjoyable above all else, and I'll be careful to use the right methods for achieving that in the future.

Cupboard:

Number 9 (3 posts until something weird happens and this item disappears)
Green Kryptonite
Scone
Hata no Kokoro
Apology Letter
Key Bum
 
*inserts a Crystal Ball*

Effect: It can access the past, and will insert 6 random items that featured in this thread during 2013. But it takes 4 posts to "charge up".

Cupboard:

Number 9 (2 posts until something weird happens and this item disappears)
Green Kryptonite
Scone
Hata no Kokoro
Apology Letter
Key Bum
Crystal Ball (4 posts until it adds 6 items that were "in the cupboard" in 2013)
 
*inserts a Wish Tag*

Effect: Can affect any item in a future post - to change it somehow for the better. It will disappear after it's used.

The Number 9 has now "activated" and the weirdness that occurs: The Key Bum takes all of Klefki's keys, angering Klefki. 4 chests appear, apparently as compensation for Klefki's keys being taken. The have items in them, but they're yet to be opened. The Number 9 disappears.

Cupboard:

Green Kryptonite
Scone
Hata no Kokoro
Apology Letter
Key Bum
Crystal Ball (2 posts until it adds 6 items that were "in the cupboard" in 2013)
Keyless Klefki
Wish Tag
Chest 1
Chest 2
Chest 3
Chest 4
 
*Inserts a Mimic*

Effect: This item disguises itself as a Chest, which is indistinguishable from the other Chests already in the Cupboard. However, should this 'Chest' be opened, rather then adding an item to the Cupboard, it shall instead consume two items.


Cupboard:

Green Kryptonite
Scone
Hata no Kokoro
Apology Letter
Key Bum
Crystal Ball (1 post until it adds 6 items that were "in the cupboard" in 2013)
Keyless Klefki
Wish Tag
Chest 1
Chest 2
Chest 3
Chest 4
Chest 5
 

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