- Joined
- Apr 14, 2018
- Messages
- 197
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- 208
Well, you know what Introversion and Extroversion mean. Even if you don't subscribe to MBTI, which is more than understandable, they are still useful shorthand terms to describe why you don't go to loud clubs or something. Like the most people on this forum, I have always thought of myself as a real introvert. I always liked solitude, working alone, internet, games, etc. I got the message that introverts are more rare and unique. In the years of my early acquaintance with internet, when I was a teenager (circa 2004-2005) that's what all I needed. Back then people were chatty and I thought I was so different.
However. HOWEVER.
As time was going on, I met more and more people both on the net and in real life who also were 'introverts' and couldn't help but notice drastic differences between us. Personally, I liked internet because of the information it provided. I wouldn't say that I was ever phone addicted or grew 'internet-illiterate', only speaking with emojis. But these people were. Nowadays, people can barely squeeze 'Um, hi.' at me before going back to their phones. Deep discussions? Witticisms? Charisma? Flirting? Forget it. These people can barely link a sentence together. No depth attributed to introverts usually is present in them. They are just a collection of TikToks and YouTube channels in a trenchcoat. And what about introverts being rare? Almost every young person I know is exactly like this: quiet, phone addicted, awkward, difficult to get to know, absolutely ordinary but feeling very special for some reason.
I always wanted people around me to be quiet and less opinionated and when I got it, it wasn't what I wanted at all. In fact, with time I developed a reputation of being opinionated myself. I feel like I am thirsting for a conversation, for real human connection, maybe even conflict, even if I don't like conflicts that much usually. But everyone is very very guarded and traumatized by my opinions or jokes or memories I have from my less than perfect life. Turned out, I am not an introvert at all. I want to familiarize quickly, to joke and to provoke, I want to feel alive.
I was just discovering my hobbies on the net because there was no other way to do it in my country plus my attempts to forget my bullying I suffered in school. My introversion was just partly an internet phenomenon partly trauma.
And now I live a life that I never thought I'd live: that of one of the MOST extroverted people I know, ready for debates at 2AM just like God intended. But it still feels so strange as 'introversion' was such a big part of my identity.
*Sorry for such a long rant! I am just surprised by the changes I saw in myself. You may disagree with what I said but I just needed to get this off my chest.
However. HOWEVER.
As time was going on, I met more and more people both on the net and in real life who also were 'introverts' and couldn't help but notice drastic differences between us. Personally, I liked internet because of the information it provided. I wouldn't say that I was ever phone addicted or grew 'internet-illiterate', only speaking with emojis. But these people were. Nowadays, people can barely squeeze 'Um, hi.' at me before going back to their phones. Deep discussions? Witticisms? Charisma? Flirting? Forget it. These people can barely link a sentence together. No depth attributed to introverts usually is present in them. They are just a collection of TikToks and YouTube channels in a trenchcoat. And what about introverts being rare? Almost every young person I know is exactly like this: quiet, phone addicted, awkward, difficult to get to know, absolutely ordinary but feeling very special for some reason.
I always wanted people around me to be quiet and less opinionated and when I got it, it wasn't what I wanted at all. In fact, with time I developed a reputation of being opinionated myself. I feel like I am thirsting for a conversation, for real human connection, maybe even conflict, even if I don't like conflicts that much usually. But everyone is very very guarded and traumatized by my opinions or jokes or memories I have from my less than perfect life. Turned out, I am not an introvert at all. I want to familiarize quickly, to joke and to provoke, I want to feel alive.
I was just discovering my hobbies on the net because there was no other way to do it in my country plus my attempts to forget my bullying I suffered in school. My introversion was just partly an internet phenomenon partly trauma.
And now I live a life that I never thought I'd live: that of one of the MOST extroverted people I know, ready for debates at 2AM just like God intended. But it still feels so strange as 'introversion' was such a big part of my identity.
*Sorry for such a long rant! I am just surprised by the changes I saw in myself. You may disagree with what I said but I just needed to get this off my chest.
