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Item on your left will be your weapon against...

Gone batty.
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The game is simple - you write what the next user will be attacked by, then the next user must write what's on their left and how could they use it in self defense.

With no one above me, I'm assuming I'll be attacked by some kind of void - and it just so happens that the only thing on my left is a wall, which I guess I can use to shield myself from it.

Now, next person is going to be attacked by a horde of hungry, bloodthirsty Eevees with taste for whatever you're eating right now!
 
Sith Puppy
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Haha, I'm not eating anything. I do have my phone to distract them with their own bulbapedia page and make them consider their future form.

I'll attack the next person with a Flying Pumpkin That Shoots Laser Beams Out Of Its Ass
 
Merciless Evaluation
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On my left is a lemon, that is actually a Bomb. TFPTSLBOOIA shoots the lemon bomb, instead, and both explode.

I will attack the next user with a weapon of math disruption.
 
Gone batty.
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Considering that math was always a subject I liked and was good at and disrupting it would be very traumatising to me, I'll probably just curl myself into a fetal position and start crying into a pillow on my left.

Next person gets attacked by a zombee (not zombie, zombee. As in, undead bees.) apocalipse.
 
Purple Poison Pupa
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I have a...shower curtain. I’ll wrap it around myself and hope I can stay adequately protected.

The next user has to face a possessed pair of garden shears out to get them.
 
Just let me clear the ol' browser history and...
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....with my Nintendo Switch. Well, Nintendo consoles are actually very tough; if a Game Boy could survive a fire, then surely those shears would be nothing.

The next user shall deal with..... themself.
 
Purple Poison Pupa
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I’m armed with a Wii U Pro Controller. If offering to play video games with myself instead of fighting to the death doesn’t work, at least having a blunt, hard object to strike myself with is better than nothing.

The next user is challenged by a Magikoopa.
 
Aura Pokémon
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A trash can should easily deal with that...

The next user will be attacked by a python.
 
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To my left I have a chair, I guess I could smash it over the python's head :p

The next user will be attacked by... a horde of Naruto runners
 
g-max smite
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I'll throw an empty red purse on the ground in front of them in hopes they'll attempt to rob it while I make my getaway.

next user gets attacked by mecha-streisand
 
Purple Poison Pupa
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I have a dried-up dead leaf. Guessing I’m screwed.

Next user is pitted against a flying ninja with laser eyes.
 
Merciless Evaluation
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To my left is a mirror. Mirrors reflect lasers back into the Ninja’s eyes.
Now blinded, the Ninja accidentally flies into a mountain and dies.

The next user will be attacked by the Knights Who Say Ni!
 
Just let me clear the ol' browser history and...
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....My fan. I mean, it's pretty long, so I guess it'll make a good bat.

The next user will come against... a cat.
 
Moderator
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I guess I would kill it with my pillow?

Next user! Your opponents will be a horde of rabid FFVII fans! Good luck!
 
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I'll run out locking the door behind me, that way I can just avoid all the madness.

The next user will face a brown glass bottle!
 
g-max smite
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I take a picture of it with my phone, and show it to the bottle, who will then explode from seeing how ugly it is.

next user will face draco malfoy
 
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I will use the ancient power on him to send him flying.

The next user will face a floor fan.
 
Purple Poison Pupa
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I will use the ancient power on him to send him flying.
Ancient power is the object to your left? :unsure:

Anyways, my weapons of choice are either a toy Beyblade or a small teal plastic bin full of DS/2DS game cartridges, plus a random stylus, Wiimote, and Wiimote jacket. Luckily my adversary is about as dangerous as either of these items, so I would be fine in this scenario.

Next user is up against a Gigantamax Corviknight!
 
Just let me clear the ol' browser history and...
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Paper. Okay. I'll write a multi-paragraph essay on why Dynamax is the shittiest gameplay mechanic ever and dedicate one paragraph to just how unoriginal Giga Corviknight's design is.

Next user must square off against Little Mac.
 
Merciless Evaluation
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I'll throw a can of beans in his face and run like hell.

The next person shall face the Death Star.
 
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