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Item on your left will be your weapon against...

Minty fresh.
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My phone. You think Siri can help me?

Optimus Prime.
 
Purple Poison Pupa
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I have my trusty...pillow. Brace for impact!!

Next poster has to fight...Shawn Spencer.
 
Minty fresh.
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I have a pedestal fan to my left. This guys history.

The user below will be attacked by the Bulbagarden Moderator known as Snowy. Brace yourself!
 
Gone batty.
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Knowing that Snowy's a web designer and a nerd, I invite him to use my computer on my left.

Next person will face off against Alduin the World Eater!
 
Easy Breezy
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I offer Alduin an apple in this trying time. It seems to subdue him a bit, or at the very least confuse him.

V will have to fight the Quaggled Mireclops:

 
Purple Poison Pupa
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Holy shit that’s cute. I try to make peace with it by showing it the garbage can I have next to me and offering to clean up any litter off its back.

Next user fights Bert and Ernie.
 
Easy Breezy
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I toss a can of peanuts at them and hope one of them has a peanut allergy.

V will be fighting against a BotW Lynel:

 
Minty fresh.
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My new Nintendo switch lite. It's yellow. It might do okay.

A horde of rampaging Zigzagoon.
 
Easy Breezy
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I give that person a drink of water, because it looks like they might need it. Then when they're distracted, I run away. I run very far away.

V will have a fight against the Witch Queen from Ōkamiden:

 
Just let me clear the ol' browser history and...
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NOS energy. Guess I'll sacrifice the remains of my ability to fall asleep. Woohoo.

 
Darkness ≠ Evil
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PVC bazooka.

I’m sure a bazooka outguns a shotgun, right?

Anyway, next person fights the fabric of reality itself.
 
Darkness ≠ Evil
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A ceiling fan.

I’m still screwed, aren’t I?

Next person fights a Zoglin.
 
number 1
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I paint my tablet yellow, fooling the zoglin into thinking its gold or something

V fights Marx
 
Darkness ≠ Evil
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Still the ceiling fan, screwed again.

Next person fights the entire USSR
 
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