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Item on your left will be your weapon against...

Just let me clear the ol' browser history and...
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Graphite Pencils.

....I could make this work.

 
number 1
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now, if we assume that is the height of a spider, i can easily crush it with my sketchbook

Fight Strange Klug
 
Utsukushī sakura o mite
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*orders them to surrender*

You are challenged by a Team Yell Grunt.
 
Gone batty.
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A TV remote.
I'll use it to mute them so they can't yell.

You're challenged by Earl Dervish, the principal of Violet City Pokemon Academy.
 
Well-Known Member
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All I have is a towel. Guess I'm using a more advanced version of the tail whip.

You're challenged by Genkai. There is no hope for you.
 
Utsukushī sakura o mite
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I must battle with all-consuming nothingness. Ah, a fair fight, it will be!

You must fight Ultear.
 
Merciless Evaluation
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...well, I have a 24VDC power supply with grounding terminals. Eternatus is part poison type, so grounding will hurt it.

Loki
 
Gone batty.
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A bedside lamp. I will annoy him into leaving by continuously flipping it on and off very quickly. A fitting defeat for a god of mischief.

Next person will fight against Ultra Instinct Shaggy.
 
Merciless Evaluation
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I’ll give him a free pen, pat him on the head, and run as far the fuck away as I possibly can.

The next person will face the Knights of Ni.
 
Utsukushī sakura o mite
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"It's-it must have been a tiring day... Here, have some sleep"
*throws a pillow and runs*

You have challenged by a Mega Lucario holding a Choice Band.
 
Hops
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Holding my phone, I'll report this hacker for starting with an already mega evod lucario

The next person is attacked by the homonculi
 
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