Mafia It's All About ME Mafia - Endgame: Returned Prosperity (Town Win) 4/4/16

[Maniacal Engineer]

Spoiler

1. @jackatlasred
2. @AussieEevee
3. @Kakashi Hatake
4. @Pikochu
5. @IGN
6. @Sword Master
7. @Jolty Febe
8. @Life
9. @Elieson
10. @leetic

Night 0: Random Punster

March 4th, 2015:

Re: Random Messages Issue 11.1 - The Country Pancake Thread

*absorbs the Time Vortex from ^ and shunts it back into the TARDIS where it belongs*

Well, that was...painful.

*collapses*

March 7th, 2015:

Re: Random Messages Issue 11.1 - The Country Pancake Thread
I LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 23rd, 2015:

*takes RP's temperature, reducing his to 0 Kelvin*

*the Eternal Flames of Troll Hell engulf the ice melting it completely*

*ME emerges*

I have Returned!

Dammit, CO! You made me Regenerate back into ME!

Shut up, Punster!

Random Punster, the Pregenerated form of Maniacal Engineer, true leader of the clone forces, Boss of Team Chaos, and a master of glitches and mayhem. Twice before, Random Punster had emerged from the very depths of the Internet and brought darkness upon bmgf.
Twice before he was defeated, once at the hands of the very Dalek Army he had invaded RM with and once by an incompetent doctor who literally took his temperature, freezing him at 0 Kelvin.
However, fueled by revenge, Random Punster swore he would return one day to once again plunge bmgf into chaos and disarray.
Unbeknownst to ME, Punster slowly began messing around with his logic circuits, weakening him until Punster could reassert his dominance.

It worked. With his logic and reasoning compromised, Maniacal Engineer's mighty mind and strategic brain were no match for Random Punster's nonsensical whims and terrible punchlines. The man of math and science had fallen, and the man of linguistics and laughs had now taken his place, once more.

IT IS NOW NIGHT 0! Role PMs will be sent out momentarily. Please confirm that you have received your roles.
Phase ends 27/03/2016 at 11:00pm CDT

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Phase update 2 hours early today, because everybody confirmed.

Spoiler

1. @jackatlasred
2. @AussieEevee
3. @Kakashi Hatake
4. @Pikochu
5. @IGN
6. @Sword Master
7. @Jolty Febe
8. @Life
9. @Elieson
10. @leetic

Day 1: Regeneration Paradox

Random Punster laughed as his armies of evil ran rampant over Random Messages and the entire F&G section. His clones, grunts, and Missingnos made him a formidable foe, and he was very proficient with his weapun of choice, the Pun Hammer.

To combat the diabolical word player, a secret council was held, deep within the F&G archives, out of Random Punster's reach. Having granted permission to all the assembled to access the archives, Enzap, the Section Head of the besieged F&G, called the meeting to order.
Among those in attendance were Etrian Oddity: the former Archnemesis of Random Punster and his Regenerations, Rainbow Cloud: a friend of the fallen engineer and leader of the army of originals, jackatlasred: clan leader of the Spambots and the new leader of the Troll Alliance, Zexy: the early death rival of Maniacal Engineer in mafia games, and TheCapsFan: a regular participant in both TWR and RM. The latter two were also newly appointed Mods of the F&G section, like Maniacal Engineer, and were the other members of the Handsome Three.

This unholy alliance had but one goal: stop Random Punster at all costs.

"I still don't see why we need this meeting," Enzap said, "Maniacal Engineer was a member of the bmgf staff, which makes this a staff problem."
"Maybe so," countered Etrian Oddity, "but I challenge you or the bmgf staff to find someone more qualified to battle Random Punster than myself. I was his archnemesis before he became a staff member, and I clashed with both Random Punster and Maniacal Engineer."
"As for me," commented jack, "Maniacal Engineer was a friend and founding member of the Troll Alliance. Ever since he became a Mod, though, he's renounced Trolling and become boring. It's time for the Troll Alliance to teach him what we do to traitors!"
"Random Punster is too big of a problem for just the staff to handle," added Rainbow Cloud, "it took me and my army of originals to stifle his clone rebellions twice before."

Arguments continued late into the night.
Finally, they came to a consensus.

"We're agreed, then?" asked Enzap.
The others nodded and departed to begin their various tasks.

The following morning, Random Punster was taking over the Last Post Wins thread, when several Spambots appeared and continued spamming the thread with pointless posts that prevented Punster from winning, no matter how frequently he posted.

Irked, but not overly annoyed, Random Punster moved on to attempt to conquer the Up Versus Down thread, a series of threads he had been particularly powerful in. However, Punster's attempt to conquer Up Versus Down was thwarted by an opposing army of originals, lead by Rainbow Cloud, who managed to crush the evil wordsmith’s clone army for a third time.

Angered, Random Punster returned to the Cupboard thread, wherein he had erected his mighty base, the Pundorica, only to find that it had once again been blown to bits by his former archnemesis, Etrian Oddity. Not only had the Oddity destroyed the Pundorica, he had also removed the last vestiges of Maniacal Engineer or Random Punster’s influence on that thread, by transforming the Cupboard into the Eternal Pit of Fire once again. Since Maniacal Engineer had renounced his Trolling ways upon becoming a Moderator, he lost his protection from flames.

For old time’s sake, Random Punster shouted: “CURSE YOU, EIEIO!!!” as he stormed out of the thread.

In TWR, the diabolical pundit found an army of Zexy Zombies waiting for him, along with both the original Zexy and TheCapsFan.
"Why did you have to betray us?" asked Caps.
"We could have made an excellent team," added Zexy.
"I don't need partners," countered Punster, "I have subordinates!"
Punster attempted to unleash a wave of Missingnos into TWR, but he only ended up multiplying the army of Zexy Zombies, who overwhelmed the Missingnos.
Similarly, the Team Chaos Grunts's efforts to derail TWR and plunge it into chaos and anarchy were stopped cold by TheCapsFan's ironclad game schedule.

Now outnumbered and without a chaotic advantage, Punster had no choice but to retreat.

Frustrated, the evil wordsmith moved on to the Melee Weapons thread, but there he encountered Enzap.
"Stand aside, Enzap," said Random Punster, "you cannot possibly hope to defeat me."
Enzap shook his head sadly.
"You know, I had such high hopes for you," said the F&G Boss, "you really could have made a positive difference on the Internet, for once. Guess I was wrong, so now I'll have to clean up my mess."
"Please," scoffed the diabolical word player, "you couldn't contain me even before you granted me Mod powers, what makes you think you'll be more successful now?"
Enzap smiled a cruel and devilish smile.
"Now you're a member of staff," he said, "the fact that you've now gone rogue makes it a top priority of the staff to...deal with you."

As Punster pulled out his Pun Hammer, Enzap also withdrew a hammer from hammer-space. It was the Mighty Ban Hammer.
"On this one and only occasion, the staff has deemed you dangerous enough to allow me to permaban you," said Enzap, swinging the weapon.
Escaping the Ban Hammer's blow by a hair's width, the Punster withdrew.

Backed into a corner by this allied assault, Random Punster retreated to Random Messages, where his power was at its strongest.
When he arrived, however, an unwelcome sight awaited him.
The assembled allies had gathered in RM and had brought along a friend, a slimy friend.

"No!" gasped the wordplay pundit, turning white as a sheet and backing away slowly, "not...The Abomination!"
"You have strayed from the path of Modness and betrayed your fellow staff members, therefore this is your punishment," decreed Enzap, Lord of F&G, who had followed Punster to RM.
"Death by your own botched scientific experiment," sneered Etrian Oddity, "how appropriate."

Slimy Monster, for that is who the Abomination was, advanced on the fleeing Punster and engulfed him, completely smothering him.
Screams of terror and cries of excruciating pain were muffled by the hideous blob's amorphous form.

Suddenly, Slimy Monster began glowing.

"What's happening?!" asked Zexy.
"Slimy Monster is Regenerating!" exclaimed Rainbow Cloud.
"No," said jack, calmly snacking on some spam, "they're both Regenerating."

Sure enough, due to Slimy Monster having been made with Random Punster's genetic materials, they were Regenerating, their bodies fusing together in a massive eruption of energy.
Punster screamed in agony, as the botched Regeneration consumed him and his genetic mutation, contorting and reshaping the two bodies.

A brilliant flash of light blinded the alliance, as the Regeneration cycle completed.

As they blinked the stars from their eyes, the alliance members weren't certain that they hadn't experienced permanent eye damage, since standing before them were ten physically identical MEs.

"Oh dear Arceus, what have we done?" was the prevailing thought among the alliance members.

It soon would become obvious, however, that all was not quite as it appeared. Most of the MEs were in favor of peaceably reintegrating themselves and restoring order, but some were only interested in chaos and picking up where Random Punster had left off.
Who will emerge victorious? Will the forums return to their abnormal state, or will Random Punster's nightmare of chaos become everybody's reality?

Time will tell...

IT IS NOW DAY 1! Phase ends 29/3/16 at 11:00pm CDT.

...Now then, I'm off to play CAH.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

FINAL VOTE COUNT!
leetic: II (jackatlasred, IGN)
Elieson: II (AussieEevee, leetic)
Kakashi Hatake: III (Pikochu, Elieson, Jolty Febe)

Spoiler

1. @jackatlasred
2. @AussieEevee
3. @Kakashi Hatake
4. @Pikochu
5. @IGN
6. @Sword Master
7. @Jolty Febe
8. @Life
9. @Elieson
10. @leetic

Night 1: Ritualistic Patterns

As the alliance members continued to stand in shock, the ten MEs began to examine their situation.

“Interesting,” said one of the MEs, scribbling down some calculations in a notepad, “the amount of energy required for this potential outcome to have occurred is astronomical. That regeneration mishap must have released the equivalent energy of an atomic bomb.”

“1.015 atomic bombs, actually,” corrected another ME, glancing over the first one’s shoulder, “you rounded a bit over there.”

“Gentlemen,” said a third ME, pompously coming over and clopping his hands on the first two MEs’s shoulders, “who cares how we got here? All that matters is that we’re here, and everyone else is the better for it. Especially since I’m here!”

Two more MEs walked over to Enzap, TheCapsFan, Etrian Oddity, and jackatlasred, who were just coming back to reality.

“What the hell just happened?!” Enzap was saying.
TheCapsFan shrugged.
“You got me, boss,” he said, “maybe attacking Random Punster with his own creation wasn’t such a good idea, after all.”

Etrian Oddity shuddered.
“It’s like my worst nightmare came to life,” he said.
“And multiplied himself by ten,” teased jack, who seemed more amused than annoyed at the situation.

The two MEs interjected before any further discussion could take place.

“My apologies, for the confusion, my friends,” said the first ME, “there seems to have been a minor kerfuffle with our Regeneration this time around.”
He stuck out his hand towards Enzap.
“Allow ME to introduce myself, I am ME,” he said, “and these are my associates: ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, and, of course, ME.”

The first ME shook hands with the alliance members, and the second one stuck out his hand.

As Enzap grasped the second ME’s hand, he felt a tingling in his palm. He pulled back; the second ME was wearing a joy buzzer, and was laughing hysterically.

The first ME looked at the second ME reproachfully.

“The sort of behavior is repulsive, ME,” he reprimanded, “behave yourself!”

In response, the second ME stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry.

Meanwhile there was a minor standoff involving a few more of the MEs.

One ME glared at another, a stern expression in his features.

“I know what you are,” he said, “you are chaos. You are trouble! I must cleanse the world of you! Must maintain order! Must maintain order!”

The first ME began babbling about order and tapped his fingers rhythmically in a specific sequence. He straightened his hair compulsively, when a single strand fell out of place.

“The f*ck’s the matter with this guy?!” demanded the second ME, furiously, not backing down an inch.

The only response was continued glaring from the first ME, which only provoked the second ME.

“Alright that’s it!” he shouted, beginning to advance on the first ME, who didn’t even flinch.

Before the incident could escalate further, a third ME stepped in.

“Friends, friends,” he said, stepping between the two would be combatants, “let’s not fight. After all, are we not all MEs here?”

The two MEs continued glaring icily at each other, but made no further moves against one another.

“Good,” said the third ME, “now shake hands!”

Reluctantly, the two MEs shook hands, though both looked repulsed.

A ninth ME wandered over to Rainbow Cloud and Zexy. He shook his head in awe.

“This experience is certainly surreal,” he remarked.

“…are you the real ME?” asked Rainbow Cloud.

“Depends on what you mean by that,” replied the ME, “I am ME, just like all of the other MEs that you see. We are all real, fragmented components of the same person.”

“How did that happen?” asked Zexy.

“My guess is that the Regeneration glitch was caused by the defective genetic materials in Slimy Monster,” hypothesized the ME, “when Random Punster began Regenerating, Slimy Monster, who shares my genetics, began to Regenerate as well, because the energy that Punster was giving off resonated in his DNA. The combined Regenerations amplified each other and resulted in the situation we now find ourselves in.”

“…can we fix it?” asked Zexy.

“Almost certainly,” said the ME, “between the ten of us, we’ve got more brain power than a dozen super computers! I’ll get to work right away on designing a machine that will reintegrate us.”

The tenth ME merely observed his surroundings silently, pulled out a bottle of beer, and upended it.

As the day continued, the alliance members loitered about, babysitting the MEs, who mostly went off to do their own things.

A few of them had joined together to build a machine that would reintegrate all of the MEs back into one person.

Some MEs, however, were not happy with that plan.

Unbeknownst to most of the other MEs and the alliance members, one ME whispered into the ear of another ME, who nodded vigorously, and walked away.

Moments later, a scream emanated from one of the darker corners of the Random Messages thread.

The MEs and alliance members ran toward the noise, but by the time they arrived, it was too late.
A blood spattered body was found lying on the ground, brutally and savagely attacked. It was one of the combatants from earlier.
The peacemaking ME from that fight, knelt down and felt for a pulse. There was none.

He looked up and shook his head.

“He’s dead,” said the ME, sadly.

Dear leetic,

Spoiler

The shame of that past is not ours, it belongs to those who used our past to set us apart, to ensure the safety of all of my fellow Pokèmon and of this healing place. I will only clear the memories of those who seek to destroy them. Only they shall forget.

Keeping things neat and tidy, you are Mobocracy Eradicator, the organizer. ME's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder has manifested itself strongly in you, as you are obsessed with maintaining order and routine down to the very last detail, double, triple, and even quadruple checking every step of the way.

You must have everything planned out in advance and have no sense of spontaneity. In fact, spontaneity makes you physically ill. You view your life as a well oiled machine and delight in watching all the little cogs and gears turn as you happily clean each and every one of them.

You have a strong sense of justice, since laws maintain order, and cannot abide those who break the law and spread messiness and disorder. In fact, due to your obsessive compulsiveness, you might notice certain details that have eluded other players.

You've developed a certain knack for detecting those who would cause chaos. As such, you are the Cop. Once per night, you may respond to this conversation Check: <user>, and you will be told that player's alignment upon phase update.

You are allied with the Malcontent Eliminators. You win when all threats to your faction have been removed.

Spoiler

leetic was lynched. He was Mobocracy Eradicator, the Cop, allied with the Malcontent Eliminators.

“What the hell is going on?!” asked Enzap, who did not like to be kept out of the loop for potential crises in his section.
“It would seem as though someone doesn’t want to be reintegrated,” commented one of the MEs.

IT IS NOW NIGHT 1! Phase ends 30/3/16 at 11:00pm CDT.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Spoiler

1. @jackatlasred
2. @AussieEevee
3. @Kakashi Hatake
4. @Pikochu
5. @IGN
6. @Sword Master
7. @Jolty Febe
8. @Life
9. @Elieson

Day 2: Rambunctious Prankster

“…so what do we do now?” asked Rainbow Cloud, as he and the others stared down at Mobocracy Eradicator’s lifeless body, “you can’t reintegrate yourselves if part of you is missing.”

“No, no,” said one of the MEs, closing his eyes and concentrating, “I can fix this! I can fix this!”
He thought for a moment and then snapped his fingers.

“I’ve got it!” he declared, “Mobocracy Eradicator is a ME, which means he has exactly the same genetic code that we do.”

A second ME picked up on his line of thought.
“But what makes us different is not our atoms, it’s our bits,” he said.

“Exactly!” continued the first ME, “so what we need to preserve is his mind, not necessarily his body.”
“…a little hard to do that, wouldn’t you say?” remarked jackatlasred, “he’s dead.”

The peacemaking ME looked slightly pensive.

“Theoretically, I could surgically remove his brain,” he said, somewhat hesitantly, “but that still doesn’t help us much.”
“What if we designed some sort of storage device that would allow us to store the bits of memory and personality for our fallen comrade?” the first ME mused.

“The calculations alone would take—” began the peacemaking ME.

“1.54 seconds,” interjected another ME, who had been scribbling furiously in a notepad, “I’ve completed the calculations, and we are ready to proceed.”

“Now hold on just a second, guys,” chimed in another ME, pompously, “do we really need him that badly? The guy was nutty as a fruit loop. He was Obsessive Compulsive and was always paranoid that disorder was literally out to get him.”

“Every one of us is necessary,” remarked another ME, “imagine trying to complete a puzzle without all the pieces. It just wouldn’t work.”

As three of the MEs began working on the data storage device, the peacemaking ME began preparations for the brain removal.

Assisting him was the pompous ME.

“Alright,” said the peacemaking ME, “this is a somewhat delicate procedure, so we’ll need—”

“Don’t presume to lecture ME about what we need or don’t need,” huffed the arrogant ME, “I’m just as smart as you are!”

“Okay, fine. I’m sorry,” apologized the healer, “now please pass ME the scalpel.”

“The what now?” asked the egotistical ME, sheepishly.

The pacifist sighed wearily.

This was going to be a long procedure.

Meanwhile, Zexy walked over to another ME, who had remained silent during this whole episode.

“Aren’t you going to help?” he asked the ME.

“…”
The ME silently stared at his fellow MEs working at their various tasks. He pulled out another bottle of beer, cracked it open, and turned to Zexy.
“No,” he said, simply, before upending the bottle and walking off somewhere.

“Don’t mind him,” said another ME, walking over to Zexy, “he isn’t particularly chatty.”
The ME chuckled.
“Quite the opposite of ME, to be honest,” he continued, “I can be quite the chatterbox, but at least I provide intelligent conversation, unlike that pompous buffoon.”
The ME gestured vaguely in the direction of the bigheaded ME, who was now trying to juggle the peacekeeper’s medical equipment, and failing.

Elsewhere, another ME snuck up behind Etrian Oddity, and taped a “Kick me!” sign to his back.

He might have gotten away with it, had he not started laughing hysterically as he was walking away.

Enzap was not amused.

“Moderators are supposed to behave more professionally than that,” he said sternly, “we can’t have you go around pranking the registered users.”

The ME stuck out his tongue and blew another raspberry.

“You’re just as much of a buzz-kill as that other ME,” he said, glaring in the direction of the ME talking to Zexy, “…actually, you kind of remind ME of him.”

The ME thought about this coincidence for a moment before getting bored and running off to put a whoopee cushion on TheCapsFan’s chair, laughing childishly as he went.

The last ME had run off to “blow off some steam” as he had put it, after witnessing the cadaver. He was currently in the melee weapon thread, pummeling the daylights out of practice dummies that Punster had conveniently placed in the thread when he had created it, so that people could practice with their favorite melee weapons.

He roared savagely as he disemboweled the defenseless mannequins, the anger focusing his mind into a pure destructive force.

Most of the MEs toiled late into the night at their various tasks, but some of the other MEs were also burning the midnight oil.

Having gone on a pranking spree around the F&G forum, the whimsical ME rounded off his evening by pantsing Crystal Onix, delivering an exploding cake to Doctor Floptopus, and trapping fab in the staff bathroom.

Chuckling to himself, the ME wandered back towards his comrades.

As he passed through the Punster’s Workshop, an old nearly abandoned thread created shortly after his initial Regeneration from Random Punster into Maniacal Engineer, he overheard someone talking in whispers.

“I had thought that killing one of us would stop this whole reintegration nonsense in its tracks,” the voice said, “but those eggheads had to devise a means of working around that…”

The voice paused, and sighed.

“I’m too smart for my own damned good,” he continued, “very well. It looks like we’ll have to kill more of them to make our point.”

The prankster had been attempting to catch a glimpse of the speaker, when a floor panel creaked under his foot.

Looking up in terror, the jokester barely had time to think before he was nabbed by a powerful set of arms, and dragged over into the light, revealing who the speaker was.

His eyes grew wide.

“…you!” he gasped.

“Yes,” said the evil one, wickedly, “ME.”

“What should we do with him?” asked the ME holding the struggling funnyman.

“He’s heard too much,” said the ringleader, “we were looking to kill more MEs anyway. Dispose of him.”

“Gladly,” responded the ME.

He dragged the would-be comedian over to the wall and held him up against it with one arm.

“Hey ME,” he said, devilishly, “I’ve got a joke for you. Knock, knock.”

Unable to resist his instincts, the prankster responded.

“Who’s there?”

“Interrupting Knife,” responded his captor.

“Interrup—” began the jokester, but before he could finish, his vanquisher withdrew a knife and plunged it into his chest.

The prankster was unceremoniously let go, and he dropped to the floor, a trail of blood following his descent.

“Should’ve…seen…that coming,” he spluttered, coughing up blood, “I don’t even get the last laugh.”

Dear Life,

Spoiler

Evil on the loose, you do not want to mess with Supermoose!

With witty puns and killer Knock, Knock jokes, you have arrived, Moose Enthusiast, the goofball.

While all those other MEs are serious, logical, or hotheaded, you like to have a little fun. You are every bit as smart as those other MEs, though, you just show it a little differently. You put your intellect to good use making wisecracks and telling humorous anecdotes.

Boredom is your Kryptonite, since you are constantly fidgety and bouncing off the walls. You keep yourself constantly amused by telling jokes and pulling pranks on those unfortunate enough to be in your general vicinity. Your family and coworkers love you.

However, you are not malicious, nor will you actively harm anybody in your comedic routines. You're lighthearted, carefree, and just looking to make people smile. Most of the time, though, all you get are groans of despair.

You are Maniacal Engineer's not-so-secret April Fool's Day identity. Combined with your comedic skills, this makes you the Jester. You are allied with yourself and only win if you are lynched during the course of the game. Lynching you will not end the game.

Spoiler

Life was night killed. He was Moose Enthusiast the self-aligned Jester. He has lost the game.

As the light dimmed from the jester’s eyes, the ringleader stood over his now lifeless body.

“I never liked your jokes anyway,” he said, as he turned and walked away.
There was more work to be done.

IT IS NOW DAY 2! Phase is currently scheduled to end 1/4/16 at 11:00pm CDT. However, since that will be during my Sabbath, if I have not written the flavor text beforehand, the phase will end 2/4/16 at 11:00pm CDT. An announcement will be made in thread if this will occur.

*grumbles about having his April Fool's Day prank spoiled a day early and stomps out of the thread*

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Spoiler

1. @jackatlasred;
2. @Mighty Eevee;
3. @Kakashi Hatake;
4. @Pikochu;
5. @leetic;
6. @Bat Master;
7. @Jolty Febe;
9. @Elieson;

Special April Fool's Day Edition FT!

Night 2: Reporting Posts

The following morning, a mob of angry users gathered in Enzbat's office. The F&G Boss was seated at his fancy desk and was flanked by TheBatsFan and Crow Bat.
The mob consisted mainly of users whom Moose Enthusiast had pranked the evening before.
Crobaf stood at the head of the group. He looked at Enzbat and asked one question:
"Do you know how long I was locked in the staff bathroom last night?!"
"No, but," began Enzbat.
"We told you to deal with Random Punster, and we even let you use the Ban Hammer to permanently get rid of him," stated the admin, "but you still believed that Maniacal Engineer was redeemable, so you wanted to try things a little differently. Well, we tried things your way, and Maniacal Engineer lost his second chance, so now we'll do things my way."
Enzbat sighed.
"I understand your position, Crobaf," he said, "but things are not quite as they appear to be."
Crobaf raised an eyebrow.
"...I'd rather we discuss this in private," remarked the Section Head.
In response, Crobaf turned to his fellow complainants, and signaled that they should leave the office.
Still grumbling, the crowd exited the thread and dispersed.
Crobaf walked over to Enzbat's bar and poured himself a drink of scotch.
"What is this 'situation' that you speak of?" he asked, taking a gulp from his drink.
Before Enzbat could respond, three MEs burst into the room, panting slightly.
With his back to the door, Crobaf did not see who had entered.
"I'm waiting for an explanation," said the admin, pouring himself more scotch.
In response, Enzbat pointed, and Crobaf turned to face the newcomers.
As the shock set in, the admin's grasp on his scotch glass faltered.
Before the cup could hit the floor, one of the MEs dived and rescued it, barely spilling a drop.
He stood up and offered the glass back to the admin, who took it, gulped down its contents, and poured himself another portion.
"Would one of you please explain what's going on here?" he asked.
Enzbat quickly explained the sequence of events since the battle against Random Punster and ending with the death of Mobocracy Eradicator. Occasionally, one of the MEs would chime in to correct him on some minor scientific, mathematical, or logistical detail.
"...I see," said Crobaf, "so most of the MEs are working towards reintegrating themselves back into the real ME, but there is at least one Malcontent out there."
"That's basically the story," concluded Enzbat.
Crobaf walked behind Enzbat's bar and looked through the contents.
"We're gonna need a lot more whisky," he remarked.
One of the MEs cleared his throat impatiently.
Enzbat turned to them, having completely forgotten that they had barged in.
"Yes, gentlemen," he said,"did you have something to report?"
"ME was successful in removing Mobocracy Eradicator's brain," said the ME who had cleared his throat, "the bits of Mobocracy Eradicator's mind are being downloaded into our storage device as we speak."
"That's good news, I presume," replied the F&G Boss.
"Indeed it is," said the ME who had rescued Crobaf's scotch, "it means that all the puzzle pieces are going to be in place when we attempt to reintegrate ourselves."
Enzbat nodded, it made sense.
"But we have a request," said the third ME, "I have calculated the odds of the malcontents attempting to destroy the storage device at 92.643%. If the storage device is destroyed, then all data on it will be permanently lost."
"As such, we would like to keep the storage device here, under your protection," continued the first ME.
"The malcontent or malcontents would be less likely to attempt to destroy the device if it was kept in a secure location," added the second ME, "your office is the most secure location that is easily accessible, should we need the device again."
"...you mean if the malcontent kills again," chimed in Crow Bat.
The third ME nodded.
"Odds are very likely that the malcontent will not stop until he has ensured that a reintegration will not occur. He will do whatever he can to prevent it, up to and including, murder," he concluded ominously.
"Permission granted," said Enzbat.
"I'll do you one better," said Crobaf, "given the...delicacy of this situation, I will lock the storage device in an admin only location. Since I assume all MEs have Mod permissions, this is the only way to keep them from accessing the device without our knowledge."
"Excellent!" the MEs said, and they ran off to fetch the pacifist ME and the storage device.
After they were gone, Crobaf poured himself another round of scotch and sighed.
"Things are never easy with that guy, are they?"
The others shook their heads.

Meanwhile, the silent ME had wandered into the Punster's Workshop thread, hoping to get some peace and quiet. He noticed a bloody wall at the far end of the thread and wandered over to investigate.
There he discovered the body of Moose Enthusiast, knife still buried in his chest.
The quiet one pulled out a bottle of beer, shook his head, and withdrew a bottle of whisky instead. He somberly drank deeply from the bottle and cried bitterly over the demise of another ME.
After several moments had passed, the ME stood up, with new resolution and determination, and a fire burning in his eye.

"I have seen too much suffering in life," he said to the empty room, "I have witnessed things that would make ordinary people go mad. I have stood silently for too long here. It is time for ME to make my stand against evil."

Elsewhere, outside of Enzbat's office, a silver tongued ME was attempting to draw the attention of the complainants that Crobaf had dismissed from Enzbat's office.
"Friends, friends," he began, standing on a soap box, "I understand that one of my counterparts has grievously wronged all of you. Allow ME to help you find the evildoer and put him to justice."
Doctor Floptopus and Crystal Onix were the first to notice the ME.
"There he is!" shouted Flop.
"Let's get him!" yelled CO.

The angry mob turned on the ME. Having not been informed that there were several MEs, they believed this one to have been the prankster.

Dear Jolty Febe,

Spoiler

The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.

The respectable citizen, beloved by all, you are Modfather Enzap, the responsible overseer. You bear a striking resemblance to the Section Head of F&G, but, in reality, you are yet another ME. In fact, you are the ME that participated in Random Messages Mafia. You are characterized by your leadership skills and your charm and charisma. You use your knowledge and aptitude for languages to your benefit when giving speeches or writing inspirational messages.
You are a beacon of your community, and a volunteer at several not-for-profit organizations, donating freely of your time and money. Your generosity is unparalleled, and your compassion seems boundless.
However, beneath that warm facade, you are ambitious and cunning. You have charmed the people into loving you, but you have no love for them. You play the part of the wealthy philanthropist by day, while running the organized crime syndicate by night.
Your silver tongue has tricked everybody into loving you, but you are secretly evil. As such, you are the Godfather. While you are allied with the Mafia Enforcers, any Cop scans on you will show up as Malcontent Eliminators. Additionally, due to your influence and power, you have control over people's roles, making you the Roleblocker. Once per night you may respond to the mafia PM with Block: <user> and they will not be able to use any actions during that phase, assuming they have any.

You are allied with the Mafia Enforcers. You win when all threats to your faction have been removed.

Spoiler

Jolty Febe was lynched. He was Modfather Enzbat the Godfather/Roleblocker, allied with the Mafia Enforcers.

As he was overrun by the mob, The Modfather's last thought was:
"I should have just kept my big mouth shut."

It is now Night 2. Phase ends 3/4/16 at 11:00pm CDT.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Spoiler

1. @jackatlasred
2. @Mighty Eevee
3. @Kakashi Hatake
4. @Pikochu
5. @leetic;
6. @Bat Master;
9. @Elieson

Day 3: Rigged Polls

Having dashed out of Enzap’s office, the three MEs ran back to where the pompous ME and the pacifist ME were just finishing downloading Mobocracy Eradicator’s brain patterns into the storage device.

“Well?” demanded the pompous ME, rudely “what took you so long?”
“Forget that,” said the medical ME, “what did Enzap say?”
“Enzap is willing to protect the storage device,” replied the mathematical ME.

“However, fab was also there and offered to secure the device in an admins only thread,” continued the puzzle solving ME.

“We’re taking fab up on his offer, since we all have Mod powers and can access everything but admin only threads,” finished the scientific ME.

“That’s great news,” said the pacifist, enthusiastically.

“That is good news indeed,” said the pompous ME, “I’ll tell you what, let ME take the storage device back to Enzap’s office. That way, you four can continue working on the reintegration device.”

“I’m not much use with machines,” admitted the medical ME, “so I’ll come with you…to make sure nothing happens to the storage device.”

“Fine,” sighed the pompous ME, “just try not to slow ME down too much.”

With that, the peacemaking ME and the arrogant ME set off toward the F&G Boss’s office with the storage device in tow.
“Well my friends,” said the scientific ME, pulling on a pair of safety goggles, “let’s get back to work, shall we?”
The three MEs continued their work on the reintegration device.

Meanwhile, having resolved to combat the forces of evil that threatened the reintegration process, the silent ME headed over to the Melee Weapon thread, where he confronted the aggressive ME, who was hacking away at the practice dummies again, his back toward the other ME.

“I know who you are,” said the silent ME, “you’re the one that’s been murdering our counterparts.”

The angry ME stopped attacking the mannequins and glanced over his shoulder.

“So what if I am?” he demanded, “what’s a scrawny twerp like you going to do about it?”

The reflective ME pulled out a bottle of beer and upended it.

“I’ve come here to finish you off,” he said, “I-we have seen and caused too much suffering, and you, you’re to blame for all the damage that I-we have caused. I-we would be much better off without you.”

“Is that so?” said the ball of wrath, turning around fully and spitting on the ground, “you eggheads would be nowhere without ME! You’d have no drive, no ambition, no passion, no courage, nadda. Instead of coming here with your baseless accusations, you should be thanking ME for everything I do for the good of the whole!”

“No,” replied the silent ME, “Mobocracy Eradicator had it right. You are chaos and burning flames. You cause nothing but destruction and need to be stopped!”

As the silent ME began his attack, the angry ME pulled out another knife and threw it across the room. It embedded itself into the silent ME’s head.

Dear Pikochu,

Spoiler

What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end and the end of every race?

Riddle ME this, you are Mister E. The most mysterious and the quietest of the MEs, you are clearly trying hard to hide something. In this case, though, it is not your in-game alignment that you are trying to hide, it is your past.

Your past is simultaneously horrifying and unexpected, and it has aged you beyond your chronological years. This is the real reason you spend so much time drinking alcohol or getting drunk, because you just want to forget. However, like all other ME incarnations, your mind is very powerful and refuses to forget and let things go. As a result, you suffer from bouts of depression and nightmares that can be triggered by things ranging from the time of the year to a memory choosing a particular moment to resurface.

You are morose, melancholy, and nobody ever truly knows what you are thinking. As a result, you are the Secret Voter. During the Day Phase, you may respond to this conversation and say Vote: <user>. That is the vote that will count towards the tally at the end of the phase.

You are allied with the Malcontent Eliminators. You win when all threats to your faction have been removed.

Spoiler

Pikochu was killed. He was Mister E the Secret Voter, allied with the Malcontent Eliminators.

As he slipped into the arms of oblivion, Mister E’s final words were:

“At last, now I can finally forget.”

IT IS NOW DAY 3! Phase ends 5/4/16 at 11:00pm CDT.

Again, sorry for the late update, I got back later than expected from Milwaukee.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Spoiler

1. @jackatlasred
2. @Mighty Eevee
3. @Kakashi Hatake
4. @Pikochu
5. @returnofMCH
6. @Bat Master
7. @Jolty Febe
8. @Life
9. @Elieson
10. @leetic

Endgame: Returned Prosperity

Spoiler

Having just killed off Mister E, the angry ME stomped back to the Random Messages thread, which was the last known location of Modfather Enzap.

On arriving, the first thing the ME noticed was a mob standing around a gallows. At first, he thought that the Godfather’s plan had worked, and he had managed to incite the aggrieved users to kill another ME on behalf of the Malcontents, but on closer inspection, the lynched party was his ringleader, the Modfather himself.

Enraged beyond anything he had ever experienced before, the wrathful ME roared savagely, causing all the users, who were celebrating ME’s downfall, to quake in fear.

“D-d-didn’t we just kill him?” stammered one user.

Crystal Onix looked up at the body swinging from the gallows.

“Yes we did,” he said, “and he doesn’t look too happy about it.”

The angry ME pulled out a pair of bloody knives and charged, howling ferociously, as he approached the defenseless, and shocked, mob.

Meanwhile, the peacekeeping ME and the arrogant ME arrived at Enzap’s office with the storage device. The F&G boss greeted them, and fab took the machine from them, and hid it in a new admins only thread.

“That will keep your device safe from harm,” assured the admin.

As the two MEs were preparing to leave, however, their phones pinged.

“What’s this?” asked the arrogant ME, pulling out the cellular.

A message began to play on the two mobiles. Mister E’s face appeared on the screen.

“Greetings my fellow MEs,” said the image of Mister E, “if you are viewing this, it means I have faced the enemy in battle, and lost. Regrettable though this may be, I have valuable information for you regarding the identity of our Malcontent. It is Malevolent Extraterrestrial. I have gone off to challenge him in the Melee Weapons thread. That is where you will find my body. Furthermore, I have located the remains of Moose Enthusiast in the Punster’s Workshop. Stop Malevolent Extraterrestrial, and reintegrate us. We cannot exist in this disunited state. Farewell, my friends.”

As Mister E pulled out a bottle of beer and upended it, the message ended.

Having overheard the message, Enzap sprang into action.

“Caps, Zexy, gather the rest of the alliance members and the MEs,” commanded the F&G boss, “fab, I need you to track down two users and bring them here immediately.”

“Who are you looking for?” asked the admin.

“returnofMCH and Mighty Eevee,” replied Enzap.

fab nodded understandingly and took off, as the other F&G/TWR Mods dashed out of Enzap’s office to gather allies.

“Who put you in charge?” demanded the arrogant ME, “my alter ego, my problem.”

“No,” said the Section Head, firmly, “Malevolent Extraterrestrial’s anger makes him a dangerous enemy. The fact that he is going rampant and murdering in my section makes this my responsibility. Are we clear?”

The arrogant ME puffed himself up and looked like he was about to argue, but the medical ME elbowed him in the ribs.

“Are. We. Clear?” asked Enzap again, enunciating every word carefully.

“Crystal,” coughed the pompous ME, having had the wind knocked out of him.

Within moments, the MEs, alliance members, fab, MCH, and Mighty Eevee were all gathered in Enzap’s office.

The F&G Section Head was holding a war conference with the MEs and alliance members, which now included fab.

MCH and Mighty Eevee looked around awkwardly.

MCH coughed.

“Uhhhh, why are we here again?” he asked.

“I am sending you two on a special mission,” said Enzap, “I’ll get to you in a moment.”

Finalizing their attack plans, the MEs and alliance members, minus the staff members headed out to the Random Messages thread to face down Malevolent Extraterrestrial, the wrathful ME.

Still seated at his desk, Enzap flanked by the other staffers, turned to the two other users remaining in his office.

“We must stay here and guard something important,” he said, “so I need you two to go to the Punster’s Workshop and Melee Weapons threads. There you will retrieve the bodies of Moose Enthusiast and Mister E and bring them back here.”

“Bring back bodies?!” asked Might Eevee, incredulously.

“Why are you asking us?” MCH wanted to know.

“Because you are the only two we can entrust with this assignment short of myself and the alliance members,” explained fab, “I happen to know that you two are secret MEs.”

MCH and Mighty Eevee glanced at each other, but didn’t deny it.

“Now go,” commanded F&G’s Boss, “there is much work to do.”

The two secret MEs departed to recover the bodies of the fallen MEs.

Malevolent Extraterrestrial was focused, hyper focused, on his one goal, revenge. Revenge on those lowlife users who had dared to kill Modfather Enzap, his ringleader. Revenge for all those times he had been repressed in the single ME entity.

Continuing his bloodthirsty roaring, the ME hacked and slashed at anyone stupid enough to remain within his arm’s reach. Occasionally, he’d whip one of his knives at an unsuspecting victim, but he’d always withdraw another knife from his trench coat. He never seemed to run out of knives.

Bodies piled up around him as he continued his rampage.

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” came a loud shout, emanating from the pacifist ME, who had arrived on the scene and was utterly appalled by what he was witnessing.

Malevolent Extraterrestrial stopped and turned towards the voice.

“ME,” he snarled savagely.

“Yes,” said the peacekeeping ME, “ME. I’m here to stop your bloodthirsty antics.”

“Wanna bet?” scoffed the evil alien, “Mister E said the same thing, and I killed him with ease.”

“Perhaps so,” said the medical ME, “but unlike Mister E, I did not come alone!”

A legion of spambots emerged from the ground, surrounding Malevolent Extraterrestrial. They bombarded him with pointless posts and other nonsensical advertisements, but the angry ME was too focused to be confused by the spambots. He quickly hacked his way through them, but they were only a distraction.

United for the first time, the army of originals and the army of clones helped Rainbow Cloud clear the civilians out of the thread and get them to safety, where the medical ME began tending to their injuries, assisted by the army of Zexy Zombies.

The mechanical ME, assisted by the scientists from Team Chaos and his former archnemesis, Etrian Oddity, began working overtime to build a containment field to keep Malevolent Extraterrestrial contained, but he moved too quickly.

“We need to slow him down,” remarked the ME.

“Allow ME to assist you,” said the pompous ME, “it’s about time I showed you what a real ME can do!”

“…technically we’re all real MEs,” corrected the scientific ME.

“Shut up!” shouted the arrogant ME, his ears turning red, “you know what I mean!”

The egotistical ME calmly stepped into the battle field, walking towards his adversary.

When the soldiers came to assist him, he held up his hands.

“Stand back,” he said, crossly, “you’ll only get in my way!”

“That idiot is going to get himself killed,” remarked fab, who was watching the events unfold with a glass of scotch in his hand, in Enzap’s office.

Enzap sighed.

“That’s what the storage device is for,” he commented dryly.

“Shouldn’t we be out there helping them?” asked Zexy.

“No,” said fab, gulping down his beverage “if they fail, we’re the only ones who can stop this madness.”

“At least your army of zombies is helping,” grumbled TheCapsFan, “I’m not doing anything whatsoever.”

Back on the battlefield, the haughty ME, who was secretly shaking in his shoes, faced down his aggressive counterpart.

“What’d you want?” spat Malevolent Extraterrestrial.

“My, my, my,” blustered the arrogant ME, “what a mess you’ve been causing. You truly are a savage.”

“Are you here to fight ME, or bore ME to death?” snarled the aggressor.

“I’d rather not fight you,” said the pompous ME, examining his nails, “it is beneath ME.”

“Then step out of my way,” demanded the corrupted ME.

“I’m afraid I cannot do that,” remarked the self-important ME.

“THEN TO HELL WITH YOU!!!!” screamed the evil ME, charging at the arrogant ME, brandishing his knives.

“Shit,” swore the mechanical ME, “we can’t get a good shot at him.”

“Well,” said Etrian Oddity, “at the very least he’ll have to slow down when killing that other ME, right? We can take our shot then.”

The engineer sighed.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Then, something entirely unexpected happened. The pompous ME turned his back on his enemy.

“What the hell is that idiot doing now?!” was the prevailing thought amongst everybody watching, except for Malevolent Extraterrestrial who viewed this new insult with complete outrage and charged with more ferocity than before.

The pompous ME concentrated and took aim with his posterior.

What happened next, nobody could say for absolute certainty.

A massive laser beam erupted from the bigheaded ME’s posterior and enveloped Malevolent Extraterrestrial. The ball of wrath was knocked backwards and slammed into the very boundaries of RM by the assault.

The arrogant ME walked over to the evil alien.

His body covered in burns, his limbs bloodied and bruised, Malevolent Extraterrestrial still was trying to stand and continue the fight.

He struggled to his feet where he stood shakily facing his assailant. He spat out blood.

“Alright wise guy,” he said, “that wasn’t bad, but it’ll take more than that to defeat ME.”

“I think not,” said the egotistical ME, “you are defeated and clearly outmatched. Surrender.”

“Never,” was the response.

“And they say I’m the egotistical one,” chuckled the ME, walking over to the burned out ball of wrath and thumping him on his chest.

Malevolent Extraterrestrial collapsed, unable to continue fighting.

Dear Sword Master,

Spoiler

You've earned my wrath! Go back. Go back to your ship! All of you! And prepare: you're all dead men! You, especially, Captain!

In a sudden burst of rage, you appear, Malevolent Extraterrestrial, the burning ball of wrath.

You're angry. You've been angry for as long as you can remember, and you will be angry until the day you die. You can't remember why you're angry, but that is immaterial. You've found ways to channel your anger into a powerful energy source that fuels you even when you are low on energy. You are taking yoga classes to help you focus your mind and look beyond the anger. This has helped you calm down quite a bit, but has done little to quell the burning fires of rage inside you.

You often overexert yourself in an attempt to burn off some of that wrath, and have found rigorous exercise a good outlet. With the combination of a focused mind and the anger fueling your body, little to nothing can stop you. Unlike most of the other MEs you cannot be reasoned with, and will not listen to logic or reason. Emotions are your guiding light, so everyone else had better watch out.

You are Maniacal Engineer's not-so-secret identity on his non-private Skype account. As such, you have access to other player's private information, which you can use to benefit your team. You are, therefore, the Role Cop. Once per night, you may reply to the mafia conversation Check: <user> and you will be told their role upon phase update.

You are allied with the Mafia Enforcers. Yow win when all threats to your faction have been removed.

Spoiler

Sword Master was lynched. He was Malevolent Extraterrestrial, the Role Cop, allied with the Mafia Enforcers. He has lost the game.

As the other MEs and alliance members moved in to contain him, Malevolent Extraterrestrial looked over at his vanquisher.

“Tell ME,” he said, coughing out a puff of smoke, “why is it that you, of all people, would want to be reintegrated with those other losers? Surely you don’t want them to be holding you back.”

The arrogant ME sighed sadly.

“You’re wrong,” he said, “without those other ME’s I’m nothing, a nobody full of hot air and nothing else. All I can do is bluster, all bark and no bite. Without their knowledge, I have no reason to be arrogant, and without them to reign ME in, I would constantly make a fool out of myself. I’m much better off with them than without them.”

Dear leetic 2.0,

Spoiler

I’m the Doctor. And I save people. And if anyone happens to be listening, if you have any kind of a problem with that, to hell with you!

With great pomp and circumstance, I hereby introduce yourself, Massive Egotist! Much like all other ME incarnations, you've got a big head, but unlike all of the others, your big head is filled with hot air, not brains. You are brash and bold, and you are always, always right.

You are arrogant and hotheaded and always eager to match wits with anybody on any topic, whether or not you know anything about that topic. Your blustering has gotten you into trouble before and still gets the better of you once in a while. You treat everyone like they are beneath you and view yourself as superior to everyone else and as the smartest person in whatever room you happen to be in. In fact, however, you are the least intelligent of the ME incarnations, since your ego and vanity take up most of your brainpower. That doesn't stop you from trying to boss the other MEs around, though.

In short, you are an asshole.

Speaking of assholes, because of the hot air in your brain, you can shoot laser beams out of your ass. As such, you are The Flying Pumpkin That Shoots Laser Beams Out Of Its Ass. During the Night phase you may choose to either target another player, with a 75% chance of killing said player, or take aim. If you take aim, your shot the following Night phase will be 100% accurate if your target is mafia or 25% accurate if your target is town. If your target is neither mafia nor town, your shot will always be 75% accurate whether or not you take aim.

You are allied with the Malcontent Eliminator. You win when all threats to your faction have been removed.

Spoiler

leetic 2.0 has won the game! He was Massive Egotist the Flying Pumpkin that Shoots Laser Beams out of its Ass, allied with the Malcontent Eliminators.

Having arrived in time to hear Massive Egotist’s humble confession, the peacemaking ME smiled.

“The fighting is over,” he sighed, “and those injured users are going to be alright.”

“It’s all thanks to you, doc,” remarked Massive Egotist.

“I’m happy to have helped,” said the medic, smiling.

Dear Kakashi Hatake,

Spoiler

I'm a doctor, not an engineer!

The doctor is in! You are Medical Examiner, the protector and healer. You are fiercely loyal to your friends and will do everything in your power to protect them.

You apply your particular set of skills and your powerful brain towards helping others and are the most selfless of all the MEs.

You've stood by your friends through thick and thin, laughing at their weddings and, once, crying at their funeral. Your loyalty knows no bounds.

While these are admirable qualities that are rarely found these days, you take them to the extreme, putting others before yourself constantly and never having time to take care of yourself. As such, you occasionally find yourself feeling run down or exhausted. Despite your appreciation for your friends, you are an introvert and need time to yourself once in a while. Physician heal thyself.

Due to your desire to protect your friends, you are the Doctor. Once per night you may reply to this conversation to Protect: <user>, and they will be immune to all kills for that evening. Please note: the real ME has absolutely no medical skills whatsoever, but I am using creative licensing here.

You are allied with the Malcontent Eliminators. You win when all threats to your faction have been removed.

Spoiler

Kakashi Hatake has won the game! He was Medical Examiner, the Doctor, allied with the Malcontent Eliminators.

“What should we do with him?” asked Massive Egotist, jerking his thumb in Malevolent Extraterrestrial’s direction.

“Why we reintegrate him, of course,” said the puzzle solving ME, “as I’ve mentioned before, we cannot be complete unless all the pieces are present. Each one of us brings something unique to the table: scientific knowledge and strategizing, mathematical aptitude, problem solving, healing and protecting, organization, silliness, sadness, ego, anger and passion, and leadership. Without any of these components, we just wouldn’t be ME.”

Dear jackatlasred,

Spoiler

The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.

The master problem solver, you are Multivariable Equation. You excel at thinking on your feet and adapting to any and all situations you may find yourself in. You come up with solutions that are elegant, and occasionally a little over-the-top, just to show off how smart you are. You always notice things that other people overlook, and your powerful mind can untangle even the most complicated metaphorical knots.

Logic and reasoning are your strong suits, but you can also solve problems using mathematics as well. You've solved any problem that you have come across in your lifetime, be it logic problems, crossword puzzles, riddles, mafia games, real life crises, or mathematical and engineering equations.

Speaking of mathematical equations, your mutual love of numbers and problem solving has made Mathematical Enigma a good friend of yours. As such, you are the Mason with Mathematical Enigma. You will be given your own conversation that you may chat in, but you may not share with anyone else.

You are allied with the Malcontent Eliminators. You win when all threats to your faction have been removed.

Spoiler

jackatlasred has won the game! He was Multivariable Equation, the Mason, allied with the Malcontent Eliminators.

“My compatriot is correct,” remarked the Mathematical ME, “every single one of us is necessary to achieve a perfect balance. For example, without Massive Egotist, Medical Examiner would rule and ME would never take care of himself. Without Malevolent Extraterrestrial to balance out myself, Multivariable Equation, and Maniacal Engineer, we wouldn’t have a sense of passion or a burning desire to succeed. We’d be completely obsessed with math and science. Without Mister E to remind us of our past, we’d lose our sense of self and our history, but without Modfather Enzap to guide us forwards, we’d be stuck in the past and unable to escape. Without Moose Enthusiast and Mobocracy Eradicator keeping a perfect balance between order and chaos, the balance would be ruined. Each and every one of us comes together to become something that is greater than our sum total.”

Dear Mighty Eevee,

Spoiler

Silence! I am counting.

The man of numbers, you are Mathematical Enigma. You enjoy nothing more than solving complicated mathematical problems, performing calculations, and playing with numbers. Your OCD tendencies often have you counting whatever you might come across during your typical day.

Incidentally, you are also Maniacal Engineer's not-so-secret identity on The Planetary Pit Stop, but since ME has decided to focus on bmgf, he rarely, if ever, visits that account. You don't mind, however, and you spend your free time focusing on your strengths, namely counting and solving complex problems.

Speaking of complex problems, your mutual love of numbers and problem solving has made Multivariable Equation a good friend of yours. As such, you are the Mason with Multivariable Equation. You will be given your own conversation that you may chat in, but you may not share with anyone else.

You are allied with the Malcontent Eliminators. You win when all threats to your faction have been removed.

Spoiler

Mighty Eevee has won the game! He was Mathematical Enigma, the Mason, allied with the Malcontent Eliminators.

Having retrieved the bodies of their fallen comrades, the MEs finished constructing the reintegration machine. The brain patterns of Mobocracy Eradicator, Moose Enthusiast, Modfather Enzap, and Mister E were loaded into the storage device, which was placed into the reintegration machine. Six more MEs walked in, with the staff and alliance members looking on.

A bright light blinded the onlookers, and when it died down, only one person exited the machine, completely whole once more.

Dear Elieson,

Spoiler

Hey, look, buddy. I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like, 'What is beauty',because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems. For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind? The answer: use a gun. And if that don't work? Use more gun.

You are the genuine article, Maniacal Engineer himself. A master tactician and strategist, you have made your mark on both F&G and TWR and, in fact, are a newly minted Moderator of both sections, as well as a member of the Handsome Three. You are a man of technology and science, playing around with robots and 3D printers. You are arguably the most popular user on all of bmgf, considering how many spoofs, Sockpuppets, and mafia characters have parodied you, and you are the most Liked user on the forum. You are also the greatest Troll that ever lived, a fact that you are immensely proud of.

However, due to your recent successes as a mafioso in TWR, other players, who once laughed at your rotten luck in mafia games, have come to fear you and are always suspicous that you are up to something. As such, you are the Miller. While you are allied with the Malcontent Eliminators, any Cop scans on you will show up as Mafia Enforcer. Good luck!

...you're going to need it.

You are allied with the Malcontent Eliminators. You win when all threats to your faction have been removed.

Spoiler

Elieson has won the game! He was Maniacal Engineer, the Miller, allied with the Malcontent Eliminators.

This is the story of ME, a former Internet Troll who recently found a home on the Bulbagarden forums and became a Moderator. I have made many good friends here, and I look forward to many years to come of more Fun and Games.

The End.