JokeDex Entries

[gloch]

The premise is simple: post the original Pokedex entry and then post your revised version directly below! I eventually plan on compiling the best of the best so please like your favorites so I can make the complete JokeDex when we're done. That being said, repeats allowed-- y'know, for competition.

QUAGSIRE
Quagsire hunts for food by leaving its mouth wide open in water and waiting for its prey to blunder in unaware. Because the Pokémon does not move, it does not get very hungry.
Daddy Wooper with an attitude. No BBQ axolotl tonight.

 

[toastghost]

Munna
This Pokémon appears before people and Pokémon who are having nightmares and eats those dreams.

This pink pillow eats your dreams and slowly steals your soul because of it.

 

[Rainami]

Gourgeist

It enwraps its prey in its hairlike arms. It sings joyfully as it observes the suffering of its prey.
It's a sadistic fuck that sings joyous songs whilst strangling things to death for fun.

 

[toastghost]

Trevenant
This Pokémon is said to devour anyone daring to ravage the forest. To the creatures dwelling in the forest, it offers great kindness.
This giant tree will eat you like a french fry if you dare try to go into the forest it rules over.

 

[gloch]

JELLICENT
The fate of the ships and crew that wander into Jellicent's habitat: all sunken, all lost, all vanished. Its body is mostly seawater. It's said there's a castle of ships Jellicent have sunk on the seafloor.
Sirens of the sea, yet named after fruit juice.

WINGULL
Wingull rides updrafts rising from the sea by extending its long and narrow wings to glide. This Pokémon's long beak is useful for catching prey.
Chicken of the sea, but Pokemon style.

SPOINK
Spoink bounces around on its tail. The shock of its bouncing makes its heart pump. As a result, this Pokémon cannot afford to stop bouncing - if it stops, its heart will stop.
The Energizer Bunny- in a pigs body and with more death.

 

[toastghost]

Stufful
Despite its adorable appearance, when it gets angry and flails about, its arms and legs could knock a pro wrestler sprawling.
Don't freaking touch it.

 

[Rainami]

Jigglypuff

Recordings of Jigglypuff's strange lullabies can be purchased from department stores. These CDs can be found near the bedding area.
If your life is a hell and you're dead inside so you barely get any sleep, you can buy CDs to ease your suffering if you're lucky enough to live in a world inhabited by dangerous magical creatures.

 

[toastghost]

Koffing
A Pokémon that is like a thin-skinned balloon filled with a highly toxic gas. Known to occasionally explode.
A sick demented thin drifloon that has a habit similar to Electrode's and it smells as bad as Vileplume.

 

[gloch]

WEEZING
Weezing alternately shrinks and inflates its twin bodies to mix together toxic gases inside. The more the gases are mixed, the more powerful the toxins become.
Lung cancer, but animated!

 

[Phosphene]

Tsareena

Its long, striking legs aren't just for show but to be used to kick with skill. In victory, it shows off by kicking the defeated, laughing boisterously.

Dominatrix plant.

 

[toastghost]

meowth:
It is fascinated by round objects. It can't stop playing with them until it tires and falls asleep.
Literally a normal cat, but it likes coins

 

[Rainami]

Alolan Raticate

It commands a nest of Rattata. Different nests don't get along, whipping up severe fights over feeding grounds.
It's like the Godfather if the Godfather had fat rats instead of people.

 

[gloch]

COFAGRIGUS
it has been said that they swallow those who get too close and turn them into mummies. They like to eat gold nuggets.
The Pokémon so poorly thought out that they even forgot to change the slur in its name.

 

[Giri]

With four arms, it can attack and defend simultaneously. It’s said to have mastered every martial art in the world.
An idle pokémon that does nothing except flexing its biceps and popping it's pecks

 

[Nicolas721]

Marshtomp:Its sturdy legs give it sure footing, even in mud. It burrows into dirt to sleep. He's got legs but he sleeps on dirt.

 

[Lone_Garurumon]

Lucario:
By reading the auras of all things, it can tell how others are feeling from over half a mile away.

It can read your mind halfway across town. Be afraid.