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TEEN: Kanto: There and Back Again

Vermilion City, Pt. 3
  • Strong Suggestive themes
  • Themes of sexual abuse

Butterflies and Roses
I think I liked Anna pretty much immediately, from the moment we met in that crowded Rozhithe coffee shop. She stirred her coffee like it was a ritual, applying all the meditative concentration of a photographer trying to frame the perfect shot. Her lips often curved into a little smile, as if everything I said were faintly amusing. She was a bit of an odd pidgey, I suppose. Or perhaps this was just an odd conversation – because Rozhithe is Vermilion’s historic red-light district, and Anna is, in her own words, a prostitute.

There’s a reason I was meeting with Anna. A few years ago I was collaborating with my friend Adelaide, on an article about Goldenrod’s nightlife. Adelaide had decided the story needed a sharper edge, so we ought to visit the Blue Luxray ‘burlesque’ Club.

“It’s not seedy, not seedy at all!” she insisted. “It’s all a laugh.”

That was nonsense, right there. The ‘burlesque’ consisted almost entirely of men sculpted like Renaissance marbles, with tiny campy costumes and unreasonably large cocks. Even if the women were cackling like a murder of murkrow, it was still seedy. I couldn’t help but wonder, why were male strippers (Supposedly) tongue-in-cheek entertainment, while female strippers were (Supposedly) seedy and exploitative? What’s the difference? Is there a difference? What’s the reality of the sex industry, not the version parcelled out on crime procedurals?

Though Anna cheerfully calls herself a prostitute, ‘escort’ is considered the polite term. Her straightforward disregard for euphemism, her blasé lack of shame, was surprisingly disarming. Anna is an independent escort – she doesn’t work for a pimp or an agency, running her business entirely by herself (It might surprise you to learn she pays income tax), finding her own clients and working from her own premises.

“Some girls rent a place together in Roz, but technically you gotta be licensed for that,” she says. “I work out of my house in Gunnersea [nearby], it’s more girl-next-door.”

Oh, I can see the girl next door in Anna. Twenty five years-old. An endearingly shy smile when she wants to show it. A body full of generous curves. When I first saw Anna, I was expecting someone svelte, albeit possibly with big tits. Anna has the tits alright, and a Reubenesque figure to go with them. She takes bookings at $120 per hour, a typical rate for Vermilion City; I later learned that elite $2,000 a night courtesans are largely a silver screen myth, as is the idea that ‘nice girls’ necessarily cost that much.

“In the beginning I was surprised how much work I got,” Anna admits. “I advertise as a BBW, and I get enough interest to keep me occupied full-time if I want to be.”

“How many clients do you see in a day?” I asked tentatively.

That little smile again. “In practical terms? Four is my limit. Clients don’t realise how much time goes into prepping for a booking. I need at least an hour to shower, change the sheets … more if the client has any special requests.”

Special requests … you can let your imagination go wild on that one. It makes you wonder, what kind of man goes to see an escort? The short answer is: all kinds. Aside from the requisite casual perverts; nervous young men and men from sexless marriages (“Allegedly sexless,” Anna said), venomous would-be alpha males and would-be white knights.

“You gotta be tough in this business. The white knights are as bad as the macho idiots in their own way. Half of them think they can rescue you, the other half expect you to give ‘em special treatment. They’re lookin’ down on you, just the same as the guy who thinks $120 means he can do whatever he wants to you.”

“Isn’t it dangerous?” I asked, remembering the venomous alpha male comment.

“You have sex with a guy you met on a night out, how safe is that? Besides, I don’t have to see anyone I don’t want to. Independents get to discriminate,” she added with a smile.

Watching Anna stirring her second coffee, a peaceful little frown on her face, I couldn’t quite decide what to make of her. A girl next door. Silk hiding steel. Never swears but frankly describes fucking a client silly. She’s a girl of apparent contradictions. In a sense Anna is representative of Rozhithe – curiously fascinating, full of character rather than caricature, resistant to stereotype.

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Vermilion’s History III: Port of the Roses

Rozhithe started life as a royal wharf, removed from the noise and crowding of nearby Chesilby. In 1625 it was sold to the West Lemuria Company by Henry, duke of Celadon. The WLC used their new acquisition as their principle port, importing vast quantities of sugar and tea from the colonies. All that colonial money flowing into the town turned it into a thriving mercantile centre. Rozhithe became the eleventh city ward in all but name – a henge of Ostaro was built and hallowed in 1632; a Post Office and Messenger Yard was opened in 1649, becoming busy enough to require oversight from a Postmaster Colonel by 1660; in 1675 the city council decided to establish the new Exchange on Rozhithe high street.

Between 1650 and the end of the century the population of Rozhithe more than doubled. Each time one of the great merchant ships returned from a voyage to the colonies, alongside the hundreds of tons of cargo (Sugar loaves, bales of tea, crates of ginger and chocolate, barrels of jam), brought almost two hundred bored seafarers with pockets full of wages. WLC officers bought modern townhouses around Rozhithe’s elegant new piazzas, while the common seafarer spent as only the common seafarer can. It didn’t take long for WLC directors to start buying up gambling dens, brothels, inns – squeezing their employees for the wages they’d just paid them.

Eventually the Crown annulled the company’s charter, and their monopoly with it. Rozhithe went into decline. The town already had a reputation as Vermilion’s premier red-light district, but with dwindling imports, sex work and smuggling was all that remained.
________________________________________________________________________________________________

By day Rozhithe looks a bit like the Old Gunwharf, characterised by independent coffee shops, little bistros and vegetarian restaurants, Sunday markets. And therein lies the contradiction. Well over a century of adversity remorselessly drove rents down, attracting theatres, struggling poets, artists … and in more recent decades, comedy clubs, LGBT bars, and independent film studios. A rich cultural history sits alongside Rozhithe’s historic red-light district status.

By night Rozhithe was bright and buzzing. It seemed that every bar and nightclub along the high street was doing a roaring trade, music spilling out onto the street along with the night's revellers. It looked like a normal Friday night.

“That would be a reasonably accurate assessment,” says Detective Inspector Violet Jenny. DI Jenny knows Rozhithe as well as anyone – she has to, as deputy lead for Operation Mayfair, the taskforce dedicated to policing Rozhithe’s sex industry. Her command invariably overlaps on other policing areas, tonight, neighbourhood policing in the town centre on piss-up night. Jenny stopped to talk with a human billboard (He was advertising something called Club Lush, a strip joint I thought at first). I counted about a dozen officers on duty, dotted around the street in hi-vis jackets. They had the subtly tired expressions of people who knew they still had a long night ahead of them. A girl spotted us and impulsively pulled out her tits, proudly hooting “Whooo!” as she did so.

“Day-to-day policing in Rozhithe isn’t significantly different from any other town centre,” Jenny said, watching her expressionlessly. “Our Friday night arrests are usually Breach of the Peace. Common Assault. Drunk and Disorderly, of course. Most will be what we call ‘de-escalation arrests’.”

There was a ‘but’ hanging in the air, and I said so.

“But Rozhithe is Rozhithe.”

* * *​

“It was all much worse in my mother’s day,” Jenny explained. “Organised crime effectively controlled the sex trade in Rozhithe. There wasn’t a brothel in this town that wasn’t backed by one gang or another. And no-one was safe. It became ugly, really ugly.”

Today, contrary to popular belief, across most of the Empire neither buying nor selling sex is inherently illegal. But Jenny is quick to insist that sex with someone coerced or underage is always illegal:

“Being paid doesn’t legally oblige you to have sex,” she emphasised. “Nor does payment legalise sexual assault.”

It was also here in Rozhithe that the great experiment of licensing was begun. Brothels were allowed to operate under a license originally granted by Vermilion City Council, whilst at the same time, massive crackdowns were launched against unlicensed establishments in an attempt to break the mob’s grip on the town.

“Mother broke the mob, in the end. I can’t remember how many times they tried to kill her,” Jenny said casually, raising her voice over a group of lads chanting what they believed to be a song, their t-shirts so tight it was a wonder they could lift their arms above their head. We’d reached the end of the high street where it meets FitzRegis Square. There was a taxi rank of ambulances presciently parked up on the eastern side. About three hundred years ago this was the most elegant, most modern square in Vermilion City, a now-overlooked masterpiece by Zelda FitzRegis.

You’ve got to wonder what she would have thought of the mansion she built for Baron Fauconberg now housing Club Lush. It’s not a strip joint. From the outside it doesn’t really look like much. The dignified palladian-style façade is surprisingly well-restored – with the discreet addition of the club’s orchid logo above the door, and scarlet drapes in every window. Lush is typical of the reformed brothel, though the club is very coy about what they actually do (Referring to itself as an ‘establishment’, insisting it employs ‘courtesans’). But the high street brothel, bordello if you really must, is on the decline. Most large brothels are really hotels, complete with spas and restaurants. Club Lush can tell you a lot about the modern Rozhithe: i.e. it’s not so much gentrified as rebranded. There’s something insincere about its infamy. It’s edgy, seeming to be dangerous whilst in actuality having no real sharpness. Edgy is titillating, not disreputable, a good dinner-party story. It would be easy to be scornful. Certainly the days of Rozhithe’s brothels being the stage for pitched battles between rival gangs are long gone. And while Club Lush is part of a decline, independent escorting is going through something of a renaissance.

“Patrons are more discerning than you might expect,” Jenny said. “The stereotype of the amoral sleaze is by no means universal. Many of them don’t want to support exploitation …”

“But …”

“But I have six detectives on-call tonight. When trouble starts I want an investigation started within the hour. Because Rozhithe is Rozhithe,” Jenny sighed.

Walking and talking with Jenny, I’m reminded again of Anna’s ‘venomous would-be alpha males’. Prostitution has a way of attracting trouble whatever the era. There’s something about paying for sex that encourages otherwise sane men to get unaccountably aggressive. It’s a category of client Jenny recognises as well – men who get violent the moment they’re told ‘no’ (No to what? No to being given a discount, no to an unannounced in-call in the small hours of the morning, no to unprotected sex, etc).

“I tell my detectives, if there’s not at least one sex assault arrest in the cells by the end of a Friday night, obviously they’re not trying hard enough,” Jenny said. I could tell she was only half-joking. Every escort seems to have a story about a client who becomes unexpectedly … rough. Anna insists that most clients are lovely, but what escorts call ‘boundary pushing’ in law is called sexual assault, battery, etc – or sometimes in DI Jenny’s eyes, attempted murder. Her smile thinly veils the bitter determination of a crusader. There’s still a lot to crusade against.

Escorts, including independents, are still a target. CCTV cameras make clients nervous, so it’s not uncommon for independents to keep Poké Balls on display. It doesn’t always work, when the unnegotiated choking appears halfway through sex. A typical trick for petty criminals is to first scout out a workplace by making a booking, then, armed with an exact address, to rob the place at a later date. This kind of violence against escorts, intimidating independents and robbing rival brothels, used to be a staple mob tactic.

When Superintendent Jenny snapped the mob’s stranglehold on Vermilion’s sex industry, she taught the bosses that bloody turf wars are more expensive than they’re worth. The modern mob rarely invests in brothels, except, ironically, as front businesses. The typical illegal brothel is small, unlicensed, selling services for $80 per hour or less. Invariably they’ll be full of foreign girls, usually Magyars or Langobards, with little English and no understanding of their legal rights. It’s easy for abuses to flourish – low wages, skipped health checks, violence.

* * *​

On 15th January 2002, two members of Team Rocket stood trial at Vermilion Crown Court accused of committing a crime that had shocked the region. Eighteen months previously, at around 10am, a local postman had discovered four men brutally murdered in a house in Nazeton. They were family men, well-respected, well-liked, all members of an amateur yachting club.

All four had been decapitated. Their severed heads were later found carefully displayed on-stage in a Rozhithe strip club. That was only the beginning. The next five days saw more murders – more beheadings – among them a property developer, a convicted drug dealer, and a wealthy Celadon housewife.

Under an atmosphere of intense public pressure, on 23rd May Celadon City Police arrested Benny Morobito and Anthony ‘Eggsy’ Russola during dawn raids on their apartments. That they were initiated Rockets hit the news within days. The sense of outrage and trepidation was palpable. The region had not seen gangland violence this savage in two decades. If respectable, bourgeois family men could get caught in the bloodshed, who was safe? Was a new mob war imminent? The murders stubbornly remained headline news for weeks, sparking demands for answers from the Home Secretary in Parliament. Amid the tension and fury, the real shock was that the murdered four were not respectable men at all. Their yacht club memberships were cover for a smuggling operation later known to police as the Nazeton Ring. And their contraband: people.

It’s an increasingly lucrative criminal enterprise throughout the Empire. Commonly run by small gangs, smuggled individuals (80% of whom are foreigners in pursuit of what they believe to be a better life) are invariably contracted to serve as bonded labour to pay off the cost of their transportation. The contract lasts for a specified period of time – a year is a typical length of service – so the gang will seek to maximise profit by demanding as much work as possible from the bondsman. The most lucrative type of bonded service, unsurprisingly, is prostitution. It’s a sad fact that for many foreign women (And a few select men), life in the Middle Kingdom means burning out beneath a conveyor belt of clients in an unlicensed brothel. What made the Nazeton murders disquieting was that usually the mob is content to impose a tribute, or ‘street tax’, on smuggling gangs. Why the sudden flare of violence?

On the 8th day of the trial, the region got the answers it demanded, when the defence barrister cross-examined Detective Superintendent John Lloyd. Reluctantly, Lloyd testified that the smugglers had been under investigation by His Majesty’s Special Constabulary. The Nazeton Ring’s greatest source of income, whose contracts were sold to secretive underground brothel owners, were children. Exactly how many children were smuggled into the region and subsequently sold remains a mystery, their identities hidden beneath protective pseudonyms. It’s likely that most of them were Langobards, mostly girls, lured away from dysfunctional state orphanages … though they could just as easily be Saxons, Alto Mareans, or even Kantonians.

At trial the Crown Prosecution alleged that the murders had been committed on the direct orders of a Rocket executive codenamed ‘Archer’. With the evidence against the Rockets rapidly accumulating, Morobito admitted the murders were summary executions (Though the elusive Archer was never arrested nor charged), implicitly a bloody message sent to those the Rockets decided had gone beyond the pale.

Two weeks after the trial began, Morobito and Russola were controversially handed absolute life sentences. There were many who thought Morobito’s confession ought to have earned him leniency; others thought the murders had been nothing less than a public service. But when passing sentence Knight Justice Townsend insisted the Court would never condone cold-blooded murder.

* * *​

I’d set out that evening to find the truth behind the sex industry myths. I’m not sure what I found. I found that exploitation, unsurprisingly, is a thing of the present. DI Jenny’s stories of sexual assault, human smuggling and forced prostitution are very much what I assumed I’d find. Modern organised crime has evolved, become more secretive, adapted to hide in plain sight. And yet DI Jenny steadfastly maintains the industry’s dark side used to be that much darker.

I couldn’t help but think that for girls like Anna, escorting is just another job. Thanks to brothel licensing, decriminalised independents – and perhaps, modernised police attitudes – escorts nowadays have much better legal protections. I am sure I found that Middle Kingdom independents, at least, are independent in more ways than one. They want security on their own terms, and resent being treated like little girls. Silk hiding steel indeed. It occurred to me, much later on my way back to the B&B, that Anna was one of the most feminist women I’d met on my journey.

Some things, though, never seem to change. The stigma of prostitution is a persistent one, especially in the minds of people like Mrs Hauteclaire. I suspected something as amiss when I noticed the unaccountably bad bacon and worse coffee she served me for breakfast the following morning. That was confirmed when Hauteclaire frostily demanded that I check out by 10:30. I had actually forgotten about the 10pm curfew, but judging by the look she gave me I’m pretty sure she’d somehow found out I was working in Rozhithe.

I’d had enough. I was a paying customer, for heaven’s sake. It was childish, I know, but I went and bought a copy of Sizzle. And carefully hid it under Classic Boat.

The world’s most beautiful – well, I’ll let you guess.
 
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Post Awards feedback incoming!

The plot here seems very simple--a travel writer is asked to write a book on the heels of a similar book on Johto. While she is a bit reluctant to do so at first (and who wouldn't be, considering that Kanto has been used, reused, and then used again as the setting for Pokefics), we can see just from the planned introduction to the book that she has seen an old region in a new light, and how her adventures (detailed in the story itself), have given her new appreciation for a classic region. This also encourages us, the audience, to read on and find out just what she discovered that gave her this revelation.

When we get the comments from Bethany's co-author, it feels like the whole world of Pokemon has opened up beyond what we have seen in the games, the show, and the comics across 20+ years of history. I don't know if any of these other regions are explored in The Long Walk or not, but I genuinely want to learn about Misho, Haizhou, Tianxia, and Haakono. What are they like, and has our intrepid heroine been to any of them before?

As the journey kicks off in Vermilion, we get whispers of even more unknown (and for now unexplained) regions. I really hope you flesh out some of these, because I really wanted to learn more about them.

Bethany herself (even though it is acknowledged she is the author's alter ego) doesn't really feel like an author insert at all. Gently snarky characters have always been a favorite character type of mine to read, and Bethany is no exception. Some of her comments on the ticket mixup made me smile.

The story is written in the style of a guidebook you might find in a bookstore. But it is hardly dry and boring--Bethany's snark makes it very entertaining to read. There's no major technical dealbreakers that I could see, either.

All in all, this is very much a love letter to a classic--the region that started it all. But I am also very intrigued by the other regions that are mentioned--will we get to see more of them, or are they expanded upon at all? Either way, I am excited to see where this journey in Kanto goes!
 
Awards review time!

It would be remiss of me not to preface this was a statement: I realised as I reached the end of the first chapter that this is not the type of story I enjoy. While there are positives to your story and your style, this simply is not my cup of tea. With that in mind, you can take away whatever you please from my review.

Firstly, I enjoyed the prologue. Bethany was introduced as a sassy, strong minded character, and I was instantly attracted to her and wanted to know more. She was fleshed out almost immediately, with her argument about bus tickets and timing, and the prologue was a neat little introduction into her world and story.

Venturing into the first chapter, there were glimpses at the beginning about her voyage and what the story could become. It was nice to see her introduce Vermilion that way and get this rather realistic travel aspect to the story.

However, after that point it became clear this story was not what I expected nor wanted to read. When we get to Vermillion City and starting exploring it, it is opened up and dissected down to the cobblestones and park benches, and after a while you just lose interest. That is not to discount the writing: you have always been excellent when it comes to description, one of the best on the site. But there was just so much description by the end of the first part that I really just became bored.

You have tried to balance all the description and travelogue and facts out with Bethany’s story and her running commentary, but we only get brief insights into her life and those around her, and then they just add more over described detail about B&B rules that weighs down the writing. Things get even murkier in the second instalment as the focus turns predominantly to the diaries of a long dead soldier and tales of a pirate. It begs the question of what the story actually wants to focus on: is it about Bethany, is it about describing the cities of Kanto, is it about telling all these interesting but overall unrelated stories?

I think the story would have been better if this was an original world fully committed to being a story. It would have been a more interesting piece that way, and it might have held my interest more to explore something original and fresh rather than an extremely detailed version of a small game city. The pirate stories on their own would have made for a fascinating instalment of an anthology series, anchored by Bethany’s journey as she explores Kanto and writes her book in the background. The uppity B&B owner would make a nice supporting character, and the other guests could add to this world and create a solid narrative.

Of course, that is simply my thought, and you probably don’t want to change the story that drastically, which is obviously fine.

The one piece of feedback I want to give you that I hope you consider is this. You are an amazing writer. Your grasp of the English language and the scope of your vocabulary puts most people to shame. I know many journalists who think they are the bees knees who would be put to shame by you, and you should be proud of that.

That’s why I think your style is better suited to non-fiction than fiction. The good parts of this story prove you would make a wonderful feature writer, if you can turn real world observations into snippets as thoughtful and charming as this. You can clearly describe things brilliantly, and I can imagine there are endless travel blogs or magazines that would kill to have a piece from you in it.

When it comes to creating a narrative plot, I think you have a lot of ideas that are excellent on their own but don’t work as well in a cohesive piece. The snippets of the pirate don’t really mesh with the rest of the second chapter, nor would I expect to see them in a travel-focused book, especially not at that length. The style, the ideas, they are all excellent, but the overall piece is weighed down by how much muchness there is.

Again, there is no disputing the glories of your style, and I do genuinely believe, despite how I may feel about this work, that you would be an amazing, jealousy inducing feature writer. I hope you made it to the end of this long winded review, and I hope you consider my suggestion, as I think your talents would quickly become in demand if you gave it a go!
 
hello! warming up here for The Long Walk! 8DD

I've never actually read a travel fic before! Of course, my mind immediately begins to fall upon the assumptions I've been trained to see and ask: what of Bethany's character development? How does she change, and how does the author track these changes given the unique setup here - the fact that the chapters don't need to be read in order? So of course, I'm blown away with the paragraph beginning with "It is this diversity of spirit" because in less than half of the first iteration here, Bethany's already had an incredible character development moment! She's decided that this place which she thinks is banal and ~cliche~ is actually so much more rad than she could have ever guessed. And she takes the rest of this story to graciously tell us why. And it rocked and was so sincere and awesome the whole time.

I don't know where to begin - your careful nurturing of this holistic universe is insane. We not only get history, but we get scientific Pokemon names and fictional addresses and telephone numbers - HELLO! I want to go to the Blue Planet now! Sign me up! In all seriousness, there's something so immensely charming here. Although Bethany proves to us that she can say a lot in a short amount of words ("venomous would-be alpha males and would-be white knights" - one of my favorite snippets of description) she doesn't spare us anything. The level of depth and detail you've provided lacks nothing, yet simultaneously, because it is so immersive, I'm already pleading for more. How does Anna carry herself? What does it feel like for Bethany to transition between places? See, these details don't even matter - it's a nod to the supreme detail you've already given us that one would want more!

The worldbuilding to plot ratio here is something I've never seen before, and I'm still so shook that it's so perfectly pulled off. It's not that there's no plot; it's rather that there's a million threads running all simultaneously, some that are never closed, some that the writer seems to return to at a later date. This is reflective of history in the real world - the fact that there are so many open cases at once. Reading the bit with Evan was so refreshing and really resonated with this idea that Bethany doesn't need to be in the spotlight here; rather, it's perfect that she's not, but still the master of the overarching narrative from which every detail is filtered through her witty and winsome prose. Speaking of Evan - I LOVEDDD that his portion tied into real life history! Are you kidding me?! This is of such a high caliber! I would never expect to see that seamless integration of real life and fiction in a Pokemon fanfic!

There's nothing in this story or setting for me to refute. It's like reading Animal Crossing if that makes sense - just relaxing and easy, with no expectation and simple, unadulterated pure joy. This, for me, really exemplifies perfectly the notion that people really should write whatever they want as long as it brings them joy! It's contagious - and readers can't help smile as they see you implement the little details that go a long way. Like the collaboration with Nine Pretty Butterflies and the meta collaboration with cities from other authors here. That's really neat. These little tidbits really keep each section fresh and unexpected, despite the fact that we know what flavor of narrative we're going to dive into.

SPEAKING OF FLAVORS. The bit with the sex industry is another example of how holistic Bethany's coverage is on the region. The remembered dialogue with Anna really had me rolling - "in her own words, a prostitute." And she does pay taxes, thank you very much. Bethany's journalist voice filters information about this universe to us in such a relatable way - it's like an Anthony Bourdain episode, complete with so many quips and asides and then true, serious references / respect to history. This is really so wonderful - and I would really echo DP's point that this story makes me feel a different appreciation for my own world.

Kingler (Cancer megachelae) are usually the warlords of the sea floor, growing to between three and four feet high, weighing around 130lbs, and armed with claws that can crush with more than 16,000 newtons of force – there’s not a lot that can challenge one in its home environment. They’re not picky eaters, either, though pokémon invertebrates like shellder and starmie are favourite foods.

This is so comforting fsr. THE FACT THAT I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY IS EVEN HIGHER PRAISE FOR YOU.

massed glass balconies glittering (Appropriately enough) with all

Appropriately prolly doesn't need to be capitalized :>

Overall - loved loved loved this! Will it keep me on the edge of my seat? No - but not every story needs to; and in fact, if every story did, we'd be bored and prolly fall off and onto the floor at some point. It's unconventional stories like this that really stir something in readers, transporting me back to the time I'd sit in front of the tube and watch the Green Planet for hours - or even encouraging a desire to know more about the world I'm in. This is a gem in so many ways, and I really hope you keep this one going!
 
This was a different flavour to previous chapters, certainly. I enjoyed it, but reading it was a mixed experience that involved a little mental whiplash of the type that I didn't get in the previous chapters, but which other readers have apparently already experienced. I'm going to make some comments on quoted excerpts in order of reading, then summarise my parting thoughts.

I'll get onto your beta reading tomorrow if I can, otherwise there's a chance I'll have it done over the next few weekdays. My personal deadline is the end of next weekend, to accommodate for acts of nature.

I’ll admit I have a soft spot for aquariums.

So do I! It was a particular pleasure for me to read about aquatic pokémon in such a context.

Carcajet (Aquamachina giganteus) are among the largest pokémon we know of, great flat-headed, blunt-nosed sharks closely related to sharpedo.

Carcajet is a pretty cool concept, in my eye at least, and it's got a little place in my register of fun fakemon. I'm usually leery of fan designs because of their typical poor quality in concept and creation, but this one is both a neat idea and well presented. I appreciate the genetic relationship to an existing pokémon and the portmanteau name which I assume derives from 'carcharodon' or similar.

Kingler (Cancer megachelae)

Also, providing Latin species names for pokémon was an excellent touch, and I like the ones you've chosen.

what looked like half a pig.

The implicit inclusion of mundane animals was vindicating for me, as I've chosen to do the same. At least, I'm assuming that 'pig' was meant to read as pig and not, say, as grumpig.

Blue Planet Aquarium | The Waterfront | Weekdays 10am-5pm, Weekends 10am-6pm | $20 | T: 01964 237891 | Website: www.visitblueplanet.com

Nice touch, there. I actually followed the link just in case it was a real aquarium you were giving a shout-out to.

Surprised you used a $ symbol rather than a , a canon-adjacent ¥, or a £ to match the Britishness of the setting.

capture net projectors shone cheri red in the light.

I'd like to note that I enjoyed both 'cheri red' (maybe hyphenate it though?) with the unobtrusive lower cap, and the use of capture nets outside of typical capture devices.

Deep sea kingler (C. m. abyssanus) are used to eating all they can, when they can – they can’t be trusted around other pokémon, and aren’t completely trustworthy around humans either.

Nice to see fan variants, especially with an explanation of why they're totally inappropriate for human interaction.

But the modern world, with modern Poké Balls, modern petrol engines, and modern firearms, has dramatically altered the balance of power. Caught between persecution from commercial fishermen and overcapture by trainers in the Orange Islands, lapras populations plummeted to critical levels.

Today, lapras are still an endangered species, protected by law. Their numbers have gradually ticked up from their doldrums in the early 90s, thanks to vigorous cross-regional conservation efforts. Poachers now have to contend with a specialised Ranger Union taskforce.

This is fantastic stuff. Directly expanding on canon material for an iconic pokémon by drawing in more details from analogous real-world issues is the kind of stuff I most hope to read when I read this fic.

She was a bit of an odd pidgey, I suppose.

Not 'odd ducklett'?

it’s more girl next door.”

I feel this should be hyphenated.

Watching Anna stirring her second coffee, a peaceful little frown on her face, I couldn’t quite decide what to make of her. She’s a girl of apparent contradictions.

The way in which you've described Anna feels similar to how I feel when reading this chapter, and to an extent this fic as a whole. It's a travelogue, a rendering of the pokémon world into a more realistic state, a take on Kanto as an alternate-history British Empire, and a fleshing out of canon content with greater detail and broader scope. A couple of those things taken as a pair might go hand-in-hand without difficulty, but the four of them together are not always a comfortable mesh, even for readers like myself with sufficiently niche interests. By and large, it does it for me. But not always. I'll get back to this later, but it was the above quote that got me to figure it out a little better.

Rozhithe started life as a royal wharf, removed from the noise and crowding of nearby Chesilby. In 1625 it was sold to the West Lemuria Company by Henry, duke of Celadon.

My main note here is that you've kept placenames from the canon while adding fan placenames of your own, but they don't appear to match favourably. I wouldn't be surprised if your placenames derive in some way from colours, but the dissonance remains.

Detective Inspector Violet Jenny.

This made me happy to read.

“It was all much worse in Mother’s day,”

I later inferred that 'Mother' is an alias of Madame Boss, but this line read to me at first as referring to Mothering Sunday.

Today, contrary to popular belief, across most of the Empire neither buying nor selling sex is inherently illegal. Though Vermilion, like most Kantoese cities, has ordinances that legislate against streetwalking, independents like Anna are usually free to trade without fear of arrest. Jenny is quick to insist that sex with someone coerced or underage is always illegal:

Content like this is in my opinion, undoubtedly the weakest element of this fic. Not because it's unreasonable in a vacuum, or because I don't want to read abut content like that in counterfactual worldbuilding stories, but because it's just so tonally at odds with both my expectations for a pokémon fanfic and for the fic based on my experience so far. It's essentially a summary of sex legislation, and it could probably have been alluded to in a less obtrusive and more narrative way. As it is, it feels more like a wikipedia page than a travelogue excerpt, more gritty than I necessarily wanted, and disconnected by too many degrees to the concept of a pokémon story.

]Lush is typical of the reformed brothel

Is this a dig at the cosmetics company?

CCTV cameras make clients nervous, so it’s not uncommon for independents to keep Poké Balls on display.

This is the kind of alternative angle on pokémon concepts that I really love. The use of capture balls as a security measure is great stuff. More like this, please.

On 15th January 2002, two members of Team Rocket stood trial at Vermilion Crown Court accused of committing a crime that had shocked the region.

This whole sequence does a good job of establishing Team Rocket as a traditional mobster gang with codes of acceptable behaviour and loyalties that lie with the underprivileged, that was an interesting take. Nevertheless, reading about child sex trafficking is rather grim fare, not to mention unexpected. I can't say that I relished the inclusion of this segment, although I suppose it is a suitable aberration to justify such action by the Rockets.

]I’d set out that evening to find the truth behind the sex industry myths. I’m not sure what I found.

I spent a little while considering what I might say about the bulk of this chapter, which is more or less an accusation towards your interpretation of the pokémon world that it contains very much the same artificial horrors as our own world does. I found myself torn. Do I tell you that I approve of the reasonable conclusion, of the subtle endorsement of sensible sex work legislation, and of your attempt to tackle a 'gritty' topic in a way that clearly isn't superficial or edgy? Or do I tell you that I love the pokémon world and read pokémon fanfiction because it gives me access to a fantasy setting more ideal that our own and in which magical animal companions are ubiquitous, a world which to my disappointment I don't see anywhere in the greatest part of this chapter? I must, of course, say both things. They are both true.

On the whole, although there are little bits and pieces of the prose itself that aren't exactly to my taste, your narration style continues to be very comfortable for me and there are a number of lines that I found excellent, although I don't wish to quote and comment on each and every one of them. The concept is dear to me, even if your take on it is dissimilar to my own ideal. I have enjoyed this fic very much so far, and I hope to see a lot more of it in due time. I expect that you may nevertheless have to resign yourself to a small readership. If you can accept this and continue to write Kanto: There and Back Again then you may count me as a steadfast reader.
 
'Sup. o: The Blue Planet entry starts out with a beautiful and serene description of aquariums (which I also have a soft spot for, hehe). I like that Bethany wasn't going to go there originally, but that she ended up there accidentally and loved it. I guess this is a dumb question, but Carcajet is a fakemon, right? I'd like to see a proper shark 'mon like this, and its resemblance to sharpedo and the detail you give it makes it feel real.

The details about kingler were interesting, too, especially with them not being trusted around either Pokémon or humans. It's... a concept I wish were explored more, really, given how powerful Pokémon can become and how I highly doubt every single species is fit to be given to a young trainer with little experience. Basically, it brings nuance to your worldbuilding, even if Bethany isn't a trainer herself.

For the other sections... I was far more torn on these. I asked you if Bethany's goal when writing this is to attract tourists to Kanto because of these entries. She was commissioned, yes? And I would think a travelogue would be commissioned for a specific reason, typically either to boost or tear down the place the writer writes about, depending if her commissioner is trying to attract tourists or make commentary to get people to think about the current state of Kanto. Bethany, so far, has seemed to try to do the former, or at least describe it in a beautiful and nuanced way with hints of educational value to her writing. And I would think there are rules for commissions, whatever her goal is. Surely something published wouldn't be able to talk about the crime and sex industry so freely without repercussions, depending on who she was commissioned by. Anyway, for this entry, the idea of crime and prostitution portrays this area of Kanto in an extremely bad light, and if I commissioned a travelogue and got this entry that contrasts so heavily with the content of previous ones, I would be livid that my writer wrote this and would not accept it in the final product without extensive revision. So... unfortunately, I felt very uncomfortable reading this in part because it felt so out of place compared to the other entries, and in part because of the topic itself. The latter is more personal, obviously, but I mention it because it may color the comments on the former.

It also means I don't have much to say about the specifics, sorry! But in general, it brings up an issue of continuity for me in the sense that it's unclear what these entries are: final products, viewable to people who buy the travelogue already? Entries as she's traveling, waiting to be passed by her commissioner later and edited? I have no idea.
 
So, time for responses. First I do want to say that I have read everyone's reviews multiple times, so if I don't reference them here they have not been overlooked. I didn't really expect this fic to get that much attention. Niche fics attract niche interests, when all's said and done.

Something I want to address, that's been brought up a couple of times, is the status of pokémon in the story. In the Vermilion City chapters (For want of a better word) they are downplayed and very much in the background, and this was to a large extent deliberate. I wanted to write a more ... complete world than the part of it that we see in the canon. i.e: the part absolutely obsessed with pokémon. That said, I do recognise there's a thin line between a more complete world that and writing something that's only tangentially to do with pokémon. Hopefully once more chapters are finished the "pick-and-mix" theme of the fic will come out more strongly.

The Blue Planet aquarium was fun to write. I had to restrain myself from going nuts on the section - the Rainbow Gyarados had to be cut - but I hope this helps balance out the pokémon problem in the absence of Vermilion Gym. Carcajet is indeed a fakemon based on the whale shark. I started on the assumption that I wanted to make it recognisably related to Sharpedo, and then worked backwards to decide how a whale shark would use biological turbines.

I'll talk about the Donphan in the room - Vermilion City Part 3. I always knew this was going to be a risk. It's not a topic that most edgy (And would-be edgy) Pokémon fanfic would take on, and I had no intention of doing so frivolously. It seems to have left readers feeling a little uncomfortable and conflicted - and I'm fine with that, because that was the intent. If I were to "defend" it, I'd say that Pokémon fanfiction often attempts to deal with serious topics that will make some people uncomfortable. I understand this may not be to everyone's taste.

As to why it's there in the context of the story, I'm going to quote this (Recently edited) paragraph from the introduction:

"It is this diversity of spirit (And, it must be said, of people), the clichéd and the novel, the charming and the odious, that makes the Home Region anything but banal. Clichéd, odious – unflattering adjectives, and I make no apology for them. In writing There and Back Again, I’ve been determined to write with sincerity. My hope is to have written a book with a broad appeal – not merely a paean to Kanto, but an honest snapshot of the history, geography, and culture of the region."
 
Maiden's Peak
Maiden’s Peak
Where young men fear the night

It was a perfect August afternoon the day I visited Maiden’s Peak. By the time I arrived the day had already felt like it had gone on forever, as if it were some halcyon teenage summer. The bright, hot sun beat down from an almost cloudless sky, while spearow picked through yellowed grass after the stridulating insects. The day was Lammas Eve, on the very cusp of autumn.

It was also, if you believe in the legends, going to be a portentous night.

Maiden’s Peak is a quintessential, quaint seaside town. Ensconced on the estuary of the charmingly-named River Eden about twenty miles east of Vermilion City, the town is bounded on the west by chalk sea cliffs and merges into windswept sand dunes on the east. The modest harbour in the mouth of the Eden shelters a fleet of small fishing boats; grubby, well-worn vessels with names like Valerie II, Sea Spirit, and Maiden Summer. Uneven stripes of cosy lanes roughly follow the line of the river, punctuated by tangles of cobbled alleyways. The streets are crowded with picturesque old buildings – antique timber-framed fisherman’s cottages, eighteenth-century stone pubs and harbour works, Edwardian housing developments on the valley side.

For most of the year the quintessentially quaint Maiden’s Peak is an entirely quiet seaside backwater, esteemed mostly for the freshness of the fish landed in the harbour. In the spring and summer seasons the town livens up somewhat from the influx of holidaying tourists. I’ve called the town “quintessential” twice now – and I stand by that – but a blander description would be “typical”. Because there are a lot of towns like this on the coastline of Johto and Kanto. So why write about Maiden’s Peak on Lammas Eve?

* * *​

To see why, seek out the sign of the Green Man halfway along River Street. You can hardly miss it – it’s one of the oldest pubs in the county, late sixteenth-century, with the period’s distinctive exposed timber frame and overhanging upper storeys. The pub sign is magnificent, a beautifully painted depiction of a man’s face peering through a dense veil of leaves.

Put the Green Man on your left and take the short walk to the end of the road. There’s an ice cream parlour on the corner, but for now head down Forget-Me-Not Lane, lined with cheap and cheerful B&Bs. Left again, onto Sun Street running parallel to the valley side, the Edwardian terrace painted white, pastel yellow and blue, studded with semi-octagonal bay windows. The road rises steadily as you head down it, and at the end where it overlooks the harbour the street doubles back and runs further up the hill. Don’t go far – there’s an alley between No. 47 and No. 48, roofed over by a chaotic row of sycamore and crab leppa trees. That’ll lead you north out of the town proper and up to the B-road at the top of the Eden valley.

Stepping out from that arboreal tunnel, there’s a salty freshness and a coolness to the air, even in August, as the sea breeze comes rippling in from across the Sound. Over the road golden brown barley waves gently in the wind. You might see a spearow try its luck at the grain and get chased away by a farm magnemite. Looking behind you, you can see the terraces cascading down to the harbour, the fishing boats moored up on the quays, the medieval streets on the other side of the Eden. There, the church spire down by Paternoster Square. There, All Gods shrine by the shore.

Two minute’s walk north along the road brings you to a stile. Beyond that, the gravel path leads west across the headland and along the cliff. At the end of the headland, is Maiden’s Rock.

The Maiden of the Rock
If you believe in the legends, the Maiden of the Rock was once a young woman named Mary Grey. She was the daughter of the respected gentleman landowner Sir Competence Grey. Mary had fallen in love with a young man by the name of Samuel Littleton, who though not handsome was well-known to be both gentle and witty. Sir Competence was amenable to the match, so it was agreed that they would marry on Lammas Day.

The year was 1788. The Empire had been at war with her own Unovan colonies for two years. No end to the fighting could yet be seen – piracy in West Lemuria was on the rise and trade was beginning to suffer. Tasting blood in the tropical seas, Kalos and her protectorates declared war. In response, Parliament voted for a second Muster of the Regiments. Riders were dispatched across the Middle Kingdom calling men to arms. The young Samuel Littleton had a commission with the 121st Regiment of Foot as Colour Lieutenant. For duty and honour he rejoined his regiment, saying his farewells to Mary and postponing the marriage.

“And perhaps,” he said, “this service to the Crown will bring rewards of money and honour and so place me in better standing upon my return.”

Heartbroken, Mary vowed she would await his return for as long as it took. Every day she would go up to the headland, gazing at the sea with desperate hope. But as the months dragged on and became years, neither Samuel nor any man of the 121st returned.

Still Mary refused to believe that Samuel had been lost in action. Day after day she stood on the headland, waiting. By then, Mary had become as permanent and familiar a sight as the sea stack which rose dramatically from the waves that crashed foaming into the headland. Until, one day in 1790, there was a terrible storm on a summer’s night.

The next morning, there was no sign of Mary Grey. But when her anxious father arrived to look for her, he found that the very tip of the sea stack had been mysteriously carven into a life-sized image of his daughter.

The Ghost of Maiden’s Peak
Two hundred years ago, the town was known as Lytham-on-Eden. After the summer of 1790, the northern headland and Lytham itself were renamed Maiden’s Peak. Even after her disappearance, the story of the Maiden of the Rock would not be diminished.

Every year, on the night of Lammas Eve, the ghost of Mary Grey returns to Maiden’s Peak, looking for her lost fiancé. On this night, it is perilous for young men to be out of doors, for the same desperate hope burns in her still – and the passage of two hundred years has rusted her memory. It is said that she will mistake any young man for Samuel Littleton, joyfully attempting to reunite with him. Those unfortunate enough to attract her attention are struck with fey moods and ill luck.

Such was the bleak fate of Thomas Mincham. A somewhat romantically-minded lad, Thomas was just out of his teens when, one Lammas Eve, he went for a stroll in the twilight. As the sun set, he made his way along the coast path as far as the Staryu Crags. By the time he reached the Crags the stars were peeping out in the sky, so he made his way back across the headland in the dark.

The next morning Thomas was found lying in a meadow near to Maiden’s Rock, dishevelled and insensible. For many hours nothing could be prised from him, his wits slowly returning as the Lammas celebrations continued. A fey temper was on him; as though elf-touched he babbled unpredictably about his encounter with Mary Grey, prowling restlessly back and forth, insisting that he must see her again. By sunset Thomas would not be restrained or gainsaid, going back up to Maiden’s Rock in search of her.

Mary Grey did not reappear that night, or any night thereafter. Every night Thomas went up to Maiden’s Rock, hoping with a forlorn hope that she would. His demeanour became withdrawn and gloomy until sunset, when he would then roam the headland for hours until dawn broke.

A cold November dawn brought a grim revelation. Thomas Mincham had found his way to the Ghost of Maiden’s Peak – by flinging himself from the cliff edge into the foaming sea.

An Enduring Legend
The passage of two hundred years may have rusted Mary’s memory but her legend is as popular as ever. There’s something in a good ghost story that compels people to keep telling it year after year. Of course, if you tell a good ghost story often enough it’ll pay off in tourist dollars. Mary Grey’s rumoured reappearances on the night of Lammas Eve have given her a conspicuous role in the Summer’s End celebrations. Most of it is obviously enjoying a good story, just some eerie fun for the summer, but there’s a conspicuous atmosphere of earnestness about it, too.

The story of the Maiden of the Rock has grown in the telling. Young men now have more to beware than just being out of doors on Lammas Eve Night. These days it’s said to be perilous for a young man to look for long at the face of the Maiden. Every year someone, supposedly a tourist who doesn’t know any better, ignores the warnings and is ensnared by the Maiden’s beauty. They’ll be found gazing stubbornly at Maiden’s Rock, pining hopelessly for a girl they will never meet.

Well, if you believe in the legends.

Summer’s End
Walking through Maiden’s Peak on Lammas Eve feels a bit like a repeat of Midsummer. The festival pennants were out and floating in the sea breeze, vibrant flakes of colour against a clear sky; there was an abundance of bikini’d bodies, board shorts, and boldly-decalled wetsuits; the air was full of an exuberance of noise and chatter and music from itinerant buskers. This is the first day of Summer’s End, a festival that lasts till midnight of Lammas Day. It’s a joyous occasion, without the usual post-aestival melancholy. For my part I hadn’t felt comfortable with summery beach attire since I was eleven. By way of giving in to the season I bought a straw trilby from Rad Raichu and settled it on my head at a half-heartedly jaunty angle.

My little Bella loved the bright sun and vivacity of the festival. Her petals jingled and rang in my ear – keeping her on my shoulder stops her from wandering off and trying to pick fights with pokémon bigger than she is. She thinks she’s challenging them to duel. There’s a kind of quasi-chivalric logic to her chosen opponents – the bigger, meaner, and uglier the pokémon the better. I suppose it means she never picks a fight with a pokémon weaker than her, but I did once have to stop her from trying to cut down a typhlosion.

The sea was a vibrant ultramarine that day, a flotilla of yachts with brightly-coloured sails aimlessly cruising by. You can get a good view of the sailing from Fore Street down on the seafront. Drifting proudly through the flotilla was the Baron of Dunmow’s own vessel, the Riviera, her sails blazoned with a heraldic wartortle seen from above, its ears and tail picked out in silver that glinted and flashed in the sun.

Bella suddenly started jiggling and yelling, brandishing her Leaf Blade excitedly. Which made me curse in a thoroughly unladylike fashion, as she decided to steady herself by clinging on to my hair.

“Sheathe – ow!” I started. My hat tumbled off and landed on a passing wingull, which waddled off wearing it. I swatted angrily at my overexcited bellossom, trying to see through tear-rimmed eyes what she was challenging this time.

“Sheathe your fucking sword!” I snarled. Bella complied with more grumbling and backchat than I would usually allow. With my vision clear I discovered she’d singled out a hitmonlee for her glove slap. He glanced vaguely around as if to say ‘Who, me?’, his trainer looking more annoyed than confused.

“Go and find that wingull with my hat,” I growled. She’d turned her Leaf Blade into a Tianxian jian this time. I wondered whether I should have let her see the Royal Marines Museum. It seems to have given her ideas.
____
Maiden’s Peak: Pokémon to Catch

#98 Krabby – Cancer pugilis
Krabby are a renowned pest in Maiden’s Peak – fishermen will likely thank you for catching them. A simple baited line, cast from the harbourside, is all you’ll need to land one. The harbour krabby tend to be small and nimble rather than large and powerful.

#116 Horsea – Hippocampus kawaii
Horsea are tricky pokémon to find. They inhabit the seaweed in the shallow waters about 100m offshore from the Lytham Dunes. Characteristically shy, it takes a rod, good bait, and patience to entice them out. For most of the year cheap poké-fishing trips leave from the eastern end of Fore Street, near to the Old Lifeboat Launch.
____

I decided to leave the seafront and make my way through the town. Seabrook Road takes you right into medieval Maiden’s Peak. The bones of most of the buildings are well over four centuries old, rows of closely packed cottages with ancient timber frames lining the cobble and brickwork streets. The upper storeys hang over the ground floor on jetties, almost like the houses are leaning together in conference. Some of them still have their original tall, narrow diamond-pattern leadlight windows, occasionally decorated with panes of stained glass. Fixed beneath almost every sill is a windowbox crammed to overflowing with flowers. You might expect these streets to be gloomy, but the brightness of the day, the flowers blooming in the windowboxes, and the festival pennants strung from house-to-house made for a quaint, welcoming aesthetic.

I discovered my favourite Summer’s End custom at the corner of Seabrook Road and Lower Mollymog Street. All the way north along Seabrook and west down Lower Mollymog people were enthusiastically parading the most beautifully painted model pokémon, lovingly constructed from balsa wood, paper and cardboard, flaunted from atop yard-long wooden poles. I saw a seadra painted a deep thalassic blue, a rearing ponyta with a fluttering tissue paper mane, a tentacruel with wobbling rubber tentacles. A three-man team carried a magnificent four foot long articuno between them, making it flap and soar with the tail streaming out behind.

This is a custom unique to Maiden’s Peak, and my, how they embrace it with a shameless glee. No-one’s quite sure how old it is. Some say late medieval, others hardly more than a few generations old. Superficially, the custom is a craft competition, with people giving small change to the bearers of their favourite models (Voting with their pennies, as it were). Until recently, each pokémon would be built with some kind of coin slot to collect donations. At the end of the day the pokémon would be broken open and the money invariably spent on beer. Nowadays – well, it’s still usually spent on beer, but people tend to carry coin tins rather than tear open their models.
____
Lammas Day
Celebrated each year on the 4th August, Lammas is a Heren festival marking the start of the harvest festival season. The day is also one of the historic eight Imperial public holidays: thanks are given for the fruitfulness of the summer, with songs sung and prayers offered up in honour of the two principal gods of Herenism, Ostaro the Horned King and Eostre Queen of the Fields.

Lammas is the festival of the grains, a celebration of the grain harvest, when traditional breads and oatcakes are eaten and gallons of beer is drunk. As a potent symbol of fulfilment the day is considered especially blessed for marriages and births, and an unlucky day to break a promise. Lammas customs often vary. Common rites include the slaying of the Barleycorn Man, taking the holy waters, and the breaking of the blessed bread. The celebrations are customarily led by the huscarls and handmaidens – the mortal servants of the gods.
____

Before the arrival of the railway Maiden’s Peak was just a small subsistence fishing village. Nonetheless, despite the village’s obscurity the River Eden does provide a good sheltered anchorage. Because of this, the Navy Board in 1794 established a Messenger Yard on the quayside. It’s still there, a utilitarian stone box of a building with a slate roof. Once, the Royal Navy’s packet ships sailed to and from the Yard, carrying letters and news to the corners of the Empire.

Rather pleasingly, the Yard is now the town’s Post Office. It also houses the Mary Grey museum, a frankly amateurish farrago of assorted memorabilia. The real jewel of the collection is the painting The Tempestuous Maiden by the otherwise undistinguished artist John Reynolds.

And oh my, what a jewel it is! It’s almost as if Reynolds was determined to upstage Maiden’s Rock – the canvas is simply huge, almost floor-to-ceiling in height and proportionately wide. As you might expect, The Tempestuous Maiden depicts a life-size Mary Grey on the night of the fateful summer storm of 1790. The storm-riven sea is painted with loving, terrifying passion, the furious sea blending promiscuously with the midnight sky, black waves plumed with rolling crests of churning foam reflecting the milky moonlight shining through ragged gaps in the racing clouds. In the background you can see the waves venting their rage against the Staryu Crags, smashing into the cliff face in great, foaming, protean eruptions. Mary Grey stands on the right of the composition, dramatically shielding her face from the lashing salt spray, her elegant ringlets in disarray. She holds a dainty little tricorne in her shielding hand; her blue-grey gown is stained dark by squalling rain and spraying sea.

I can see a lot to be impressed by in The Tempestuous Maiden. The overriding impression is of a window onto the past, the great storm of 1790 almost spilling out into the room. And yet, wonder. Is this the ghostly siren that unwittingly cursed so many young men? Is this really the face that entrances young men each Summer’s End, dooming them to sit and stare endlessly at Maiden’s Rock? She is cute, in a rather idealised kind of way. But in that moment, I was the only one looking at her.

* * *​

It’s a shame there weren’t more visitors to The Tempestuous Maiden. I’m reliably informed that at this time of year the Staryu Crags, usually a lonely stretch of coast, are busy with ambling tourists. And yet up on the headland you’d be hard-pressed to find a young man seeing Maiden’s Rock. This admixture of contradictions was making me curious. Where to start combing them out? Ah, of course – upriver.

* * *​

In the late afternoon the Pokémon Centre was relatively quiet, the resident nurses relaxed and hanging around the common room. Joys are always good for a chat, if you can get them talking. There are three at the Maiden’s Peak Centre – the primary nurse, Susan; her sister Freya the resident surgeon; and her teenage daughter Chloe. Susan was a lot more talkative than her sister in scrubs. To get her talking candidly I used one of my favourite ice-breaking tricks and told her I was writing a book (Don’t ask me why, but this one brings down even a Joy’s sturdy professional guard). I asked her about the legend of Mary Grey.

Susan affected an indifferent expression, tugging at her uniform sleeves. “She brings in the tourists, I suppose,” she said primly.

“I see you’re enthusiastic about her,” I joked.

“The Grey girl is just a bit annoying,” Susan admitted. “Honestly, standing around all day staring at the horizon? Looking for a man? She’s lucky she was well-born, that’s all I can say. True love is all very well, but when you’re mooning after a man who’s putting the dinner on?”

“No daughter of mine is going to put her whole life on hold for a boy,” Freya flatly stated.

Freya didn’t have any particular sympathy with the fate of the cursed Thomas Mincham, either:

“We ought to have renamed that place Dickhead’s Leap,” she said sourly.

I couldn’t help but like the nurse’s bluntly practical, unromantic attitude. Or maybe it’s the story that’s unromantic, once you look at it from a Joy’s point of view.

I spent the rest of the afternoon in the Pokémon Centre, talking to passing trainers about Mary Grey. About half were of the eerie fun opinion – among the other half almost nobody would outright admit they believed in her as the Ghost of Maiden’s Peak, instead making hedging comments along the lines of “I’m a spiritual person” and “The world’s a mysterious place”. Actually, most of those comments were from the girls and more mature boys. There was plenty of laddish bravado from the rest, especially the teenage boys, assertions that no woman would scare them, that sort of thing. Except for one boy who sagely warned his friends: “Live or dead, bitches be crazy” (He didn’t dare say this in front of me).

____
Maiden’s Peak: Places to Stay

Maiden’s Peak Pokémon Centre
If you have a Trainer Card, then there’s almost no better place in town to stay than the Pokémon Centre. The Centre is on River Street, just north of the bridge, about ten minutes from the train station. An easy southward walk brings you nicely into the middle of the town – west, and you’re up on the cliffs in fifteen minutes. Most of the rooms are dormitory-style four-bed rooms, but there are a handful of singles and doubles on offer. Showers are available, as well as the usual canteen – though you will probably want to try the many places to eat around town.

Dorm rooms $18/night, others start from $50/night. Breakfast not included
16 River Street
MP8 7TD
01912 660922

The Rose Inn
The Rose is an inn with a story. You’ll find it right in the centre of medieval Maiden’s Peak on Upper Mollymog Street. County records show that there’s been a pub on the site since at least the 14th century. King Geoffrey the Arcanine probably stayed there before the Great Tournament of 1353. The story of the inn is what gives Mollymog Street its name. Molly Mogg was apocryphally an especially pretty barmaid of the Rose, dubiously celebrated in folk ballad:

“Says my uncle, I pray you discover,
What hath been the cause of your woes?
Why do you pine and you whine like a lover?
I’ve seen Molly Mogg of the Rose.”

The modern Rose makes for a perfectly good B&B. The inn has a charmingly traditional atmosphere preserving many original features, including the great stone fireplace in the comfortably appointed common room. The bedrooms are no less cosy, designed around antique four-poster beds. Don’t forget to check out the range of real ales!

Rooms from $80/night
34 Upper Mollymog Street
MP8 3NH
01912 252187

The Angel Hotel
I recommend the Angel with one small caveat – as a three star hotel with aspirations towards four star, it’s a bit upmarket for both my taste and budget. The hotel commands unmatched views of town and sea from its position on Cross Lane, just off Sun Street. Most of the hotel grounds once belonged to the Abbey of St Martin-in-the-Cabbages, and some of those medieval buildings are still there. The dormitory has long been redeveloped into the hotel, but the cloister and church are both listed as Grade II sanctified ground.

Rooms from $130/night
6 Cross Lane
MP8 2BE
01912 469325
____

Who really believes in the legends?

Later I went out for a walk, feeling curious and not sure what I’d find. Nights are always darker on the coast. A smell of warm earth was fading from the air. The waning moon loomed amid the velvet night like a sickle. As I wandered through the town centre I realised I could hear the festival pennants snapping sharply in the breeze. The wind had picked up since sundown.

Maiden’s Peak was quiet for a town on Lammas Eve night. Quiet, but not entirely deserted. There as a triumvirate of middle-aged women sitting outside the Rose, clutching gin and tonics between twiggy fingers, their conversation an indistinct murmur. All three stopped talking as I passed by, leaving me feeling like an intruding outsider.

Somehow I ended up on Fore Street, confronted by the wine-dark waves of the Sound. I suddenly felt strangely exposed. Or – not so strange. From the shadows of an alley a vulpix was watching me, unblinkingly. Its eyes shone yellow-green, its intentions inscrutable. Was that wariness, or hostility? I glanced away, distracted by the chiming clock tower – when I looked back the vulpix was gone.

I couldn’t help but gaze to the north, to the end of the headland where the Maiden of the Rock stood black against the sky. At this distance she was small and silhouetted, drawing the eye like a compass needle. Cold starlight prickled the heavens behind her.

You could almost believe she was still alive.

The Blood upon the Corn
In a little hollow sheltered from the sea is the local holy well. The spring water rises into a stone basin before cascading chattering over a rockery down into a small bathing pool. The rising sun steadily creeps into the hollow, the holy waters shining like glass when they catch the first sunshine of the day. This is when the waters are at their most powerful – because, unusually, the well is dedicated to the Horned King in his aspect of the Youth. The holy waters are believed to invigorate the body, arouse the libido, and aid the mind’s capacity to learn.

Confession time: I was only there because of this book. With a fairly vigorous body and an entirely manageable libido, I hadn’t much use for the well. Even so, it was a pleasant place to start the day, on the cool grass listening to the music of the water, the clear morning sunlight presaging a hot August day ahead. Afterwards, I walked the mile-long gravelled path back to Maiden’s Peak while the morning breeze brought the smell of the festival to me before I could see it. Burning, baking and beer: the three smells of Lammas.

I was walking alongside the Eden when I inevitably ran into a wild pack of Eostre’s handmaidens, conspicuous in their loose white dresses, dancing and singing joyously to the enthusiastic beat of their drummer. Each girl was elaborately henna-tattooed on their face and arms with red spiral designs, with straw circlets on their heads since it was Lammas Day. Some of them carried wooden aspergillums (Globose blood-sprinklers with an elastic hand strap on top). You can never be quite sure what a handmaiden will do on a festival day. They’re in touch with something ancient, and barely controlled. Bella felt it as well, I’m sure. She fidgeted back and forth to the beat, her petals chiming and ringing sweetly.

The mob of girls streamed around me like Featherdance in the wind. A tall, freckly handmaiden skipped by with a wink, her dress trying to slip off her shoulder. Another boldly picked up my delighted bellossom and whirled her around. The tall girl prowled back towards me, a mischievous glint in her eye, shook her aspergillum and sprayed me with blood, singing:

“Spill the blood upon the corn! All that dies shall be reborn!”

Don’t ask me why, but I couldn’t help but giggle like a schoolgirl. I picked a drop off my cheek and tasted it – ahh, woody sugariness.

Yes, alright, I lied. It wasn’t blood at all, but maple syrup and food colouring. Not that Eostre’s handmaidens care – they seem to delight in spreading a little chaos wherever they go. Try and get a kiss from one of them, it’s said to be a lucky charm.

Smoke rose from the votive bonfire in All Gods shrine. The festival was opening, the smell of baking seductive to the empty stomach. With the sweet woody tang of the ersatz blood on my tongue, time for breakfast. Ahh, fresh bread on a bright August morning, with the sea air to whet the appetite! I followed my nose down Cockle Alley through to Mercer Street and back into the bright sun and vivacity of the Summer’s End festival. Here along Mercer Street, in Market Square, down Florin Alley and Metheglin Street the Lammas celebrations join the Summer’s End festivities: games and gewgaws, Lammas beer and bread. I had mine with a spiral of razzberry jam, wolfed it down and then wolfed an oatcake for seconds (Dignity? On this day, with this bread?).

At its most prosaic, of course, breakfast is about filling an empty tummy. But on Lammas it can also be an act of communion, one that doesn’t require priests. I’m reminded of the character Threadgold in Stephen de Roscoff’s The Niece of Time: ‘On Lammas Day, every loaf is blessed’. In these plentiful days it’s a link back to a past when a good supply of bread for the winter was far from guaranteed. In essence this transcends Heren – people have always taken time to celebrate a successful harvest. The gods praised may differ, but the inspiration remains the same.

It’s not only the bread that’s blessed today. Already plenty of people were out drinking in communion the oldest and greatest of the grain drinks: beer. Today the pubs would do a roaring trade. In a tradition easily as popular among non-Herens, with each round of beer the drinkers toast each other with a collective cry of “Here’s one o’ John!”. Excuses to drink transcend Heren too.

That afternoon Bella and I watched the Youth’s Tourney from a shady café balcony in Market Square. Martial arts and mock battles are a favourite Lammas celebration in honour of the Horned King (Traditionally it’s considered a good chance to show off to the girls). The competitors were all from the high school duelling club – not enough for anything other than longsword, but at least there were enough for a Fawns (13-15yrs) and a Bucks (16-18yrs) division. Girls are hardly ever allowed to compete on Lammas, though I did see a Does and Hinds division in Cherrygrove City once.

Along with the officiating huscarls, there were a few handmaidens lurking at the edge of the crowd. The Bucks division put on an enthusiastic display, though much of it was more posturing and bravado than skill. It looked like they enjoyed themselves, which is really the main thing. The victor of the first match kept taking high guards to make his blade flash in the sun. His opponent ought to have punished him for it, but he kept falling for feints. The applause from the adult spectators was a tad more desultory than the lad really deserved. I’m not sure if he noticed, saluting and bowing till a huscarl shoved him from the ring.

Later on, I found myself reminiscing about my high school duelling club. Sword-and-buckler was our town’s speciality, something we shared with Mulberry Town. I followed the sound of marching feet round to Florin Alley and joined the flock of people at the sides of the narrow street. Only at the sides, because from the eastern end of the alley, the huscarls of the Horned King were approaching. They danced as much as they marched to the music of a deep bass drum and warbling fife, clashing their drawn sabres together in choreographed duels. Every one of them wore a green surcoat blazoned with a white spiral on their chests and a set of wooden antlers on their heads.

“Summer passes away, a-way!” they sang in chorus, sabre blades flashing in the sun. In the largest shrines the huscarls are picked men, uniformly tall and athletic, supposedly appropriate for King Ostaro’s household. The huscarls in these small town shrines tend to be a more representative sampling of masculinity. Among the Maiden’s Peak chapter were an old man singing in a rolling baritone; a heavyset young man who danced with surprising grace; Freya Joy’s husband, no doubt enjoying time away from his wife and daughter. For some reason (They do this every year. Nobody seems to know why) a scatter of handmaidens followed along in their wake, their excitement a wild, unpredictable thing. Their singing mingled with the chorusing men:

“Summer passes away, a-way!”

* * *​

The noise of Summer’s End softened to a dull roar as I headed northwest along the coast path. The fierce evening breeze had already destroyed my hairstyle (Dignity? On this day, on this cliff?). The westering sun beamed out from between broken clouds, Jacob’s ladders cheekily poking me in the eye. I wasn’t alone. On the evening of Lammas, people were returning to Maiden’s Rock.

How are we to read this festival? It would be tempting to write Summer’s End off as just an excuse to drink gallons of beer, but I think obvious piety isn’t necessary to prove sincerity. You can hear it, in the cries of ‘Here’s one o’ John!’, hear it in the joyful singing of the huscarls. I think that, for many people, Lammas is a time to reflect, to remember the simple pleasures of beer and bread.

“If nothing else, at least we have enough to eat.” So the parish priest back home in New Bark Town used to say – usually when giving away bread to anyone who was hungry. The humane spirit of Summer’s End crosses the boundaries of religion.

The ghost of Maiden’s Peak is harder to puzzle out. No-one seems to believe in her, and yet the young men stay inside on Lammas Eve Night – just in case. Perhaps the reason why Mary Grey’s legend endures is because it’s a story of true love gone wrong. There’s something deeply uncomfortable about Mary’s corrosive devotion. At the heart of the story is Mary’s inability to move on, even in death. Maybe Susan and Freya Joy were right, and this never was a romantic story.

At long last I saw Maiden’s Rock up close. It’s hard to imagine, at first glance, anyone falling in love with her, a column of stone hewn from the headland leaning delicately over the foaming sea. It doesn’t look particularly mystical. But in the right light, with the rock gilded by the sunset, you can see the shadow of Mary Grey.

Maiden’s Peak appears in the anime in EP020 The Ghost of Maiden’s Peak. This chapter is loosely based on the episode with the eponymous ghost taking centre stage. The bones of the legend are the same, featuring the ghost of a lovesick girl; the mysterious statue on a sea stack; the association with a summer festival. The changes I made were to make a better ghost story. The ghost was too old, the Shinto shrine too official.

The town is only sparsely detailed in EP020, as usual for the early anime. The main obvious change I made was to identify the Summer’s End Festival (I seem to recall reading somewhere that it was the beginning of summer in the Japanese version, but I can’t find evidence for that) with Lammas. This is to stay consistent with the established ideas I’d come up with for The Long ‘Verse. Lammas, probably from the Old English hlaf-mas, loaf-mass, was historically a Christian festival. But as usual for harvest festivals, older, pagan beliefs and folk customs crept in, and today it is probably as much a Neopagan festival as it is Christian.

The Lammas customs in this chapter are mostly inspired by a mixture of Christian and Neopagan customs. I know I did invent some of it, but I honestly can’t remember what is an invention and what is a reference to something I found in a book of folklore.
 
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Disclaimer: I provided a beta-reading for the Maiden's Peak chapter, and wanted to post the appropriate segments of my commentary with additional thoughts as a review.

Ah, it's good to have more pokémon travelogue content once more. I know it's a niche fic, but I've a soft spot for those and I fit this niche, so I'm loyal to it. This chapter was very much more the sort of thing I'm hoping for when reading KTABA than the previous. I actually never watched the Maiden's Peak episode of the anime, so this is the perspective of a reader assuming everything is original content until the last moment. I could have believed it was a classic British folk tale, mind you, that's how genuine it felt!

Regarding verisimilitude, I've seen enough of places like Maiden's Peak to have a pretty good mental image of what you're describing. I wonder if someone with no conception of English towns would have as clear a view. Nevertheless, the opening builds expectations nicely and finishes with a lovely flourish of memorable details. I must say, I both love the historically analogous Unovan Revolutionary War with Kalos declaring in support, and feel more odd than ever that Kanto is unexpectedly a counterpart to Britain in your world, when Kalos is less atypically a stand-in for France.

There's a lot more casual references to pokémon and their cultural impact this time, which I appreciate. I understand you're not trying to portray a setting fixated on pokémon, but I am still reading this in large part to see them exist as a significant element. Bella showing up again was good fun, her duelling swordsmon persona is a delight, and it's nice to see that aspect to your protagonist. The model parade is charming and I hope someone illustrates it. Again, I love the scientific names for the pokémon-to-catch. Especially love the mention of farm magnemite chasing spearow — it's unexpected!

The bit about inns and their prices does something to make KTABA feel like an authentic travelogue, but nothing to distinguish it as a piece of pokémon fanfiction. Since I can't actually book passage to this place and stay in the inns, it's nonfunctional. Props for effort and attention to detail, though. Some readers (including myself) will be pleased by its inclusion for the sake of plausibility alone, but it's still a fairly dilute section. I don't know whether to advocate further sections liek this now that you've provided this much demonstration.

Not to worry! There were a lot of little sections I really enjoyed, however. Including some good humour! "Competence" is a great virtue name I've never seen before. "A triumvirate of women" is great wording. The bit about walking out at night and being briefly credulous is a juicy passage. Good stuff. The ersatz blood got me to feel the baffled horror and subsequent amusement you were probably hoping for. 'Grats! The inclusion of swordplay officiated by huscarls is a nice touch, it's uniquely you in a way the other stuff in the fic isn't always. (As in, 'modern anglosaxon' as opposed to alt-historical Brit in general.) Second instance of "Dignity? On this day?" got me. The part about the Tempestuous Maiden painting is a great piece of descriptive imagery. "Dickhead's Leap" got a laugh. Well done.

I very much enjoy the closing paragraphs of this chapter. They address the festival, the ghost, and Bethany's own analyses very neatly and with a memorable final line. Or should I say, haunting?

As a final note, I'm glad to see that some of my beta commentary was of use in polishing things up. Cheers!
 
Button-on-Sea
Button-on-Sea
Psyche’s Paradise

A fallen blossom
Returning to the bough, I thought -
But no, a butterfly


Thirty thousand pairs of fluttering wings, scattering clouds of errant scales that fall like diamond dust from a clear sky. Thirty thousand butterfree fill the sky, flirting and courting, the constant swirl of movement bewildering to the eye. Hot air balloons bob amid the dancing insects like candy thrown at the sky. I watched from the downland turf as a fierce wind came rippling in from across the sea, the kind of wind that slaps the hat from your head. It’s early August on a high headland north of Maiden’s Peak, and I’m here for the annual spectacle of the butterfree cotillion.

For most of the year Button is an idyllic little village on the western periphery of the Farthing Downs, an ancient land of rolling chalk hills and gentle valleys, the downland turf spreading for almost twenty miles in every direction like a rumpled blanket. These open, mostly unfenced meadows have been called temperate rainforest thanks to the rich diversity of life living among the grass. Life that lives more readily on the downland than anywhere else in Kanto; notably wildflowers such as as bellflowers, rock roses, so many orchids, the especially rare and marvellously unlikely Tickia orologica; and mundane butterflies, the colourful marsh fritillary, delicate chalkhill blues, and the elusive silver-spotted skipper.

I got to Button well before the coming butterfree cotillion, grabbing one of the tiny rooms at the tiny inn. Until the butterfree arrive, the skies above Button are clear all the way to the horizon. Look up, and you can see the obviously untrousered form of the Long Man. He’s a huge drawing of an antlered man cut into the chalk of Barrow Hill. He – who is he? Most likely he’s a Bronze Age image of Ostaro the Horned King in an early primal form. On days like this he glows white against the green hillside, his expression perpetually ambiguous – is he stern, or amused?

Most visitors don’t notice his expression. They notice his untrousered nature, because this 180ft giant has a giant 36ft erection. It is said, and more than half believed, that the best way for a woman to conceive is to have sex atop the phallus (Plenty of space there, I suppose). A few years ago this became a popular craze, much to the annoyance of the locals. Ironically the litter from all the condom wrappers was the straw that broke the numel’s back. In the end the manor council decided to introduce the position of Warden of the Giant – an official killjoy with a big stick. Sounds prudish on the face of it, but you can see their point.

But for just one week of the year, look up, and you can see the thirty thousand pairs of fluttering wings. Look carefully, and you can see butterfree from Kanto, Misho, Johto and even some from the Sevii Islands. Each each year they come to cotillion to mate, pairing off over the course of the week before dispersing far and wide to lay their eggs.

* * *​

Butterflies are so familiar to us, entirely unthreatening with their gorgeous wings and ditzy courting in the sunshine, that it’s easy to forget what truly remarkable creatures they are. Butterfree (Psyche leucopterus) belong to the Papiliomagna family, the Great Butterflies, along with beautifly, vivillon, and glorikite. When they start their lives as squirming caterpie they are very vulnerable, pretty much eating machines on legs. If they can make it to their pupal stage as metapod they’ll have a much better chance of survival. Metapod are all but invincible to mundane predators, and even pokémon usually consider it too much like hard work to eat one.

When mundane butterflies reach their adult, or imago, stage they become part of the ephemera of summer, flakes of colour lasting only for a few weeks. The Great Butterflies are different. In the wild butterfree can live for ten years, subsisting primarily on rotting fruit and invertebrates and hibernating through the winter. The imago stage is also when they reach sexual maturity. Breeding takes place over the course of the summer, hatching two broods per year on average.

But some butterfree will instead come to Button. How they decide when to do this is still a mystery. The males dance to impress the females, showing off their strength and aerobatic skill. Before long, battles break out as the males try to sabotage each other’s dances. The competition only gets fiercer as one-by-one the butterfree pair up and mate. And at the end of the week those couples will disperse far and wide to raise the next generation of caterpie, together. Aw, how romantic.

About 65% of the female butterfree will mate with another male after selecting a mate. Oh, how scandalous! The reasons for this level of infidelity vary. Perhaps she’ll select a strong battler for a mate but a skilful flier to fertilise her eggs. Perhaps she’ll mate with three or four different males to nurture the greatest possible genetic diversity in her brood. The cotillion phenomenon facilitates these mating strategies, and to an extent the males also benefit since logically some of them will also be getting some on the side.

* * *​

Butterfree are the reason for the village’s name: the butterfly-town by the sea, Button-on-Sea. A cute village name is just the surface of the rich symbolism and poignant romance of these alluring insects - ‘flowers that fly and all but sing’. Why, in a world so full of strange and beautiful creatures beyond count, would such a thing as a butterfly gain such a prominent place in human culture? Perhaps it’s their ephemeral nature, frivolous, fragile avatars of the summer. Perhaps it’s because they are, from an anthropocentric point of view, apparently purposeless creatures. In the words of one churchman:

You ask what is the use of butterflies? I reply to adorn the world and delight the eyes of men; to brighten the countryside like so many golden jewels … To gaze enquiringly at such elegance of colour and form designed by the ingenuity of nature and painted by her artist’s pencil, is to acknowledge and adore the imprint of the art of God.”

And yet butterflies have not always been depicted as mere innocuous jewels. They were also complex metaphors, living bridges between the material world and the spiritual. In Herenism the butterfly sometimes symbolises the circle of the seasons – it dies each autumn to be reborn every spring, its life a brief and inevitable thing. Typical of Heren myth, the butterfly is an ambiguous figure. In John Florin’s The Lady of Fay butterfree is an empyreal pokémon with the power to guide pilgrims to the World Tree, slipping effortlessly between dreams and reality. To Evangelists, the humble meadow brown was once the spy from hell, its wing-spots believed to be infernal surveillance cameras watching for sinners. Examine a Burgundian painting from around 1500, and you might find a lurking beautifly monster, a chimera of man and pokémon.

The names of the butterfly have their own mythologies. In Kalos they are papillon, related to pavillion; in Saxony milchdieb, milk-thieves; in Haakono, sommerfugl, the birds of summer. It has been suggested that butterfly is a corruption of flutterby, a charming thought, but alas, wrong. Butterfly probably derives from butorflēorge, the butter-fly, referencing the bright yellow male brimstone butterfly.

Perhaps the most fascinating of names is the one from antiquity. Psyche, ψυχη: life, spirit, consciousness – soul. Psyche was the unwisely curious princess of Classical myth, tasked by a jealous goddess to retrieve a box of beauty from the underworld. It’s revealing that when Psyche opened the box to take a peek, she immediately fell into a deep sleep. The reformist Heren theologian Thyme Malby rewrote the myth, in which Psyche ultimately achieves immortality as a result of her discovery of sexual pleasure. Like the rose, the butterfly is a sexual symbol, emblematic of feminine sexuality.

Ψυχη can also be translated as “breath of life”, the ineffable animating spirit that powers life’s engine. Through this word-play butterflies have also become wind symbols. This is why the nymphs of the eight winds are archetypically depicted as having butterfree wings. Metamorphosis, wind, spirit, sex, summer, soul. There’s a lot to these creatures, dancing on the uncertain boundary between reality and dreams, the material and spiritual.

* * *
And so, to the last evening of cotillion. Where once there was chaos, now I see order, thousands of butterfree couples dancing together, the failed males lingering at the edge having finally given up. The butterfree flutterby, departing as the dusk deepens, till by the following morning the Long Man has the downland to himself again. The sight reminds me of a poem from a poet who says it better:

What joy awaits you, when the breeze
Hath found you out among the trees,
And calls you forth again!


This plot of orchard-ground is ours;
My trees they are, my Sister’s flowers;
Here rest your wings when they are weary;
Here lodge as in a sanctuary!
Come often near us, fear no wrong;
Sit near us on the bough!
We’ll talk of sunshine and of song,
And summer days, when we were young;
Sweet childish days, that were as long
As twenty days are now.
 
ho ho ho! 'tis I, Santa, technically on time if we follow the 12 days of Christmas or something...

This review had the fortune to get killed off by my computer twice, and even so it was hardly written in a coherent fashion to begin with given that my typical reviews focus more on plot. Please let me know if there are any questions. Chapter-by-chapter thoughts first:

Introduction
Kanto? I thought. I could hardly think of a more tired region for a travelogue. Kanto was so familiar, so usual, her paths trod and re-trod by countless writers before me. What was there to find in Kanto that hadn't been found a hundred times already? I accepted, not because I expected to be surprised, fascinated, or delighted by the Home Region, but because a commission is a commission and I never like to turn down work.
Normally I've got mixed feelings on including meta jabs in fiction, but this is pretty-spot on. It fits in the narritive in the micro sense that it shows how Bethany's definitely the kind of character to turn up her nose to the idea of Kanto, but it definitely explains the macro-level question I had of "why is this travelouge focusing on the absolute most obscure details of a region and skipping over the big parts how could this possibly be useful to people new to the region" -- it's because she doesn't want to cover the cliche stuff already and they can buy one of the other trillion (presumably) existing travelogues already. Good stuff.

As a forward to a book, this chapter is good. It gives us (the real readers) a good taste of who Bethany is writing as, while also giving the fictional readers/in-universe readers a good idea for what kind of book they'd be getting into. I'd personally be a bit leery of this style of intro as an introduction -- to me, some of the asides (specifically, the bit where she describes her call with Simon) sort of reeks of those "here's my recipe of how to make cookies but before we start that, here's a story about how when I was twelve I went skinny dipping in the creek at my grandmother's house and I found a pinecone and that pinecone helped me meet a boy who actually broke my heart and has nothing to do with my future husband, who I did meet five years later while baking these chocolate cookies remember this is a recipe anyway after I met him at the dance..." -- but luckily the first chapter is absolutely no frills, which I loved.

And Did Those Feet
I like that Bethany is calling in an expert here. It gives a nice context to her research, explains how she's finding this really obscure stuff, and lends some credibility to this as a piece -- it strips, somewhat, the idea that this is just a book for cute stories about cycling around Tianxia or something.

The one thing I'm hesitant about is the style of this -- Nine Pretty Butterflies writes very much in the same style as any of the other character you've written -- which wouldn't be as much of an issue, except the first-person narrator sort of brings this to the forefront. Suspension of disbelief for me gets lost when both your authors, who have very different backgrounds and histories (one of whom is being consulted *specifically* for her very different background and history) end up writing in ultimately a very Pav signature way. It's not just how it's a lot of powerful but short sentences, or some rather you-esque adverbs. Even the structure feel similar, with a simple sentence as the first paragraph, a jump into what that means, some quotes from a Thing, and then a quick reflection on what everything was for.

You have a pretty distinctive style and I've read a lot of you, so I doubt this is a problem most readers are going to call out.

Vermillion City, 1

hey hi I'm probably going to keep saying it, but there's just something very realistic about your writing. Adding new ships besides just the SS Anne, fleshing out the port and adding historic buildings around the place, describing the croissants that Bethany is eating. These are normally details that I tend to find shoehorned in, but you make them flow really seamlessly. That starts to shine as early as the first three paragraphs of this chapter; I seem to remember nodding my head and getting engrossed when around the "gondola of a zeppelin" line.

I sped myself on past the usual port retail on the main concourse. These always mystify me. I can see why you’d want to buy a paperback or an overpriced sandwich, but who the hell buys a designer suit before boarding ship?
I'm a bit torn on these lines -- on one hand, they're delightful snippets of Bethany's character and I love them. On the other hand, reading this from a non-fiction lens, I think I'd find the constant insertion of the author's opinion on things that are objectively opinionated rather exhausting. This might be a personal quip, as I really hate hearing the author's every internal though in my nonfic but I'm super-okay with hearing about other characters such as Mrs. Hauteclaire, but it's worth noting that most travelogues tend to keep the traveler's personality out of it as well.

Each bastion would have been topped with a formidable ballista – the floor below housed a Flamethrower charmeleon. Many medieval fortifications incorporated Water-types to discourage undermining by Ground-types. Vermilion’s town walls had the sea to protect them.
This was the first time I remembered that this was a Pokemon fanfic; the rest of the worldbuilding had me focused (in a good way) in an entirely different direction. I'm not sure if this is good or bad -- on the one hand, it'd be incredible to see how a realistic society would've founded, with more details such as how medieval moats would've been engineered around the existence of water-types; on the other hand, what you'd done here is impressive as well.

might be a British vs American thing; might be a dropped space. Everything else so far has been spot-on from a technical standpoint tho.

you swap between italicizing all of "Anne's" and just the "Anne" part of it

Oh! And fakemon are in this too! I love that you're filling in the gaps left in the biomes; it's nice to see pokemon that exist beyond just the rule of cool. The aquarium is a clever way to put this idea at the forefront. I love the realism bits you add about pokemon in particular -- farfetch'd and lapras were my personal favorites here, but it's nice to see a more realistic intepretation of "we eat this bird and literally nothing else" and "so nice it travelled itself to death".

pterocheirus
SUPER DUMB THING BUT SPAWNING FROM MY PERIOD OF LOVING DINOSAUR NOMENCLATURE
(side note i love the latin naming that's a fun touch)
I originally had a long paragraph here about how this wasn't a technically correct term to give farfetch'd, and then I looked it up and it turns out that after gen iv it seems little fucker does use its feathers as if they were fingers because that's super logical. nothing more to see here except that you're killing it from an attention to detail standpoint here

Vermillion City, 2
I admit I never thought I'd be engrossed by journals about naval history, but here we are.

Marigold Sue.
mary sue is that u
this seems like an entire chapter written in the name of justifying a pun and I am 100% on board with it

… Off the coast of Île Paladin, Marigold Sue pounced on a Kalosian brig carrying a rich cargo of Decolore saffron and indigo worth more than 1,000 doubloons (About $60,000 at today’s values). To the astonishment of the crew, she ignored the dyes, taking only the captain’s oricorio-feathered hat before letting her prey go, apologising sheepishly for the inconvenience.
I really like this addition. It adds/foreshadows that this is going to be a more realistic interpretation of pirates -- they're people too -- and isn't just going to be some swashbuckling fantasies or whatever. It's some good stuff, and I (granted, an inexperienced pirate/maritime reader) could completely believe that this was stuff that happened.

The ensuing action was brief but fierce. Seafoam engaged from a distance of about 50 yards, braving the Anne Gallant’s guns to stop her from escaping to windward.
ugggh it's a shitty old question to ask, but I do wonder from a worldbuilding perspective if canons (specifically ship-mounted canons, which can run out of ammunition/become useless when soaked, are difficult to orient/aim/perform their intended purpose; the guns debate is another issue altogether) would be the best approach at ship-to-ship combat, as pretty much any water-type (Sharpedo, for example, come to mind) would be far more effective/accurate at punching holes in the sides of ships.

From a structural standpoint, I found this chapter masterful. The B plot of Mary(gold) Sue and her adventures serves as a really clever way to mask all the A plot of the naval history exposition; the end result is something that's very engrossing, with a bunch of little narratives that do feel like they've been pulled from something larger.

Vermillion City, 3
honestly, the sexy elephant in the room has been addressed enough that I won't bother listing it. I think it was partially because I'd heard from word-of-mouth that this chapter would be coming, so I didn't get the whiplash from aquariums/sea adventures to holy wow prostitution as badly as other people did. From an in-universe perspective of someone trying to sell lots of books, yeah, it really makes minimal sense that Bethany is choosing this as chapter three, but from a suspension of disbelief perspective/Bethany is writing about the less-trafficked topics because everyone has done Kanto to death... I could see this as being interesting. I've readily listened to podcasts that cover more socially unacceptable topics.

But hmmm. This is sort of a weird aside that gets super meta, but I actually think that this format might be a little discordant. Media like podcasts or travel shows (Anthony Bourdain comes to mind) can afford to have the occasional chapter that slips into unfamiliar/uncomfortable territory -- in fact, they somewhat thrive off of it -- because they're media formats that encourage people to settle in for the long haul. If people don't like a certain weekly update/episode, that's okay; there's a ton more where that came from and there's no real coherency. On the other hand, a published book/travelogue doesn't really have that flex; each chapter is written knowing that the reader is buying all of these chapters up front, and there's no room for follow-ups to interesting places or dives into weird asides that might piss off half the reader base but be a really interesting weekly special. It seems too risky for a chapterered book, too out-of-character for the (relatively) G-rated stuff Bethany has shown us so far. This reads better as a regularly updated media format rather than a coherent one, if that makes sense -- it fits well in an episodic format and less coherently in an all-published-in-one-go sort of book.

All that being said, I think you otherwise tackled a pretty weighty topic with a very neutral, encompassing viewpoint here, which is fascinating on its own.

please tag if there's going to be a partner chapter about pokemon sex trafficking so i don't read it tho

Maiden's Peak
I'm a huge fan of adding cities besides the Big Eight. For that reason this chapter really could do no wrong.

As a whole, this chapter is distinctively quieter, with a greater focus on small-town drama instead of species worldbuilding or big sea battles. I appreciated it, and the local lore -- it's a unique twist on the lovesick lover, and the interviews with the locals/hotel pricings sort of ground it back in reality in a sort of cathartic way.

Button-on-Sea

Most visitors don’t notice his expression. They notice his untrousered nature, because this 180ft giant has a giant 36ft erection. It is said, and more than half believed, that the best way for a woman to conceive is to have sex atop the phallus (Plenty of space there, I suppose).
canonically I suppose this best explains Bethany's fascination with certain topics; canonically I must also question which audience in particular this series of chapers is written for.

YES

Butterfree fangirling aside, I think this is your first real dive into pokemon species, and it's really a welcome one. Even details like how butterfree might take multiple partners is a nice touch. I also like how you start to give some background for the different butterfly-based species -- it's a lot more realistic than just admitting that gamefreak needed to invent a few more insects to fill the early routes.

Also, the more obscure greek myth references are a great touch. I do wonder how greek myth would play realistically into this world, though, given that the pokemon mythos seems to have a love/hate relationship with its deities. On the one hand, they're super all-powerful and don't really get into human confrontations/explore the underworld like the mortals do/fail; on the other hand, they're overpowered by literal children, which would be a very grecko sort of motif. It seems unrealistic to just directly port it, as a box that curses slumber (or sexual immortality) seems pretty mundane when pokemon can put you to sleep at a whim; on the other hand, given that you haven't really introduced how people here view legendary/powerful pokemon, it's sort of a grey area for the time being.

overall
This is a delightful read. Let no amount of rambled thoughts detract from that. There's so much detail and thought crammed into every sentence that it's hard to disengage and believe that this is just a fictional retelling of someone else's fictional universe. Little details like casually dropping random city names adds so much to the universe you're building; it's a really interesting read from start to finish. I normally love things with a plot, but I don't think I once started wondering if things were going to blow up/expecting unrealistic things from the backstories you were providing. Altogether a lovely read.

If I have one qualm, it's that there's nothing really differentiating this as Pokemon fanfic. This could all be a really convincing fantasy world with basically no changes; aside from the occasional reference to a battle wartortle or Bethany's bellossom, there's very little to suggest that this is a world where mythical creatures live alongside humans, or that their world evolved very differently from our own. I'd honestly read this as a worldbuilding encyclopedia in its own right; if anything, the inclusion of pokemon sort of broke my suspension of disbelief here.
 
I decided to just give up and go for an essay response:

Stylistic issues are kind of a work in progress. It's certainly true that this is kind of experimental as far as Pokémon fanfiction goes, and I'm trying to balance the travel writing style against the more traditional expectations of fanfiction. I personally tend to dislike the kind of travel writing where it's really all about the author - despite how cut-throat this niche market apparently is, there's plenty of that (The Green Road Into the Trees being an offender that immediately comes to mind). That said, fanfiction readers expect to see some characterisation, so that's one compromise to make.

some rather you-esque adverbs

Could you elaborate on that? I often seem to get comments of that nature, and I've only got a vague idea of what that means in a practical sense.

I wanted to write a more complete world than the part of it that we see in the canon. i.e: the part absolutely obsessed with pokémon. That said, I do recognise there's a thin line between a more complete world that and writing something that's only tangentially to do with pokémon. Hopefully once more chapters are finished the "pick-and-mix" theme of the fic will come out more strongly.

This partly addresses some your points, I think. The other point to add to this is that there's a balance between writing an engaging narrative and getting these Pokémon-specific details across. Hopefully by the time you finished what's written, there was a good balance to be found (I did try and make sure there's plenty of pokémon on offer there).

I've debated back and forth over how to respond to Vermilion City Pt. 3. I could say a lot about the writing process, rationale, etc, but since it's not really what you commented on I think it would come across as being defensive. So, I guess this can serve as me saying "Yes, I've read your comments, and yes, I've taken them seriously".

I really like this addition.

That's ironic, given that I completely made it up. It's the sort of thing the highwaymen of the same (more or less) time period were supposed to have done - a kind of rogue's chivalry.

ugggh it's a shitty old question to ask, but I do wonder from a worldbuilding perspective if canons ... would be the best approach at ship-to-ship combat, as pretty much any water-type

I'm actually going to address this one. I thought a lot about whether the ubiquitous ship design would make sense in the context of pokémon. The basic ship design that emerged - more or less - from the galleon is built around: a) the needs of sailing, and b) the needs of the guns. So how would ship architecture change with pokémon in mind? The biggest possible innovation would be the ability to attack beneath the waterline, something that in our world didn't happen till the 19th century.

In the end I realised that thinking in terms of a higher-stakes pokémon battle was misleading. What naval warfare especially highlights is the unglamorous, duller concerns of warfare - in other words, logistics. Now, a ship-mounted cannon requires relatively sophisticated metallurgy, chemistry, a complex supply chain, and labour-intensive expertise to use. Individually they're more art than science to aim, and you'd have grave difficulty sinking a ship with one. On the other hand, they're more portable and easier to store than a pokémon, and firing one is really a matter of rigorous drill. Compare this to a pokémon, which, depending on the species could be harder to source, can't be trained by rote drill, have potentially complex dietary needs, and can't be warehoused like guns can (Poké Balls change a lot of things, of course, but they haven't been available forever).

The other point to consider is what kind of pokémon are desirable to sailors. I touched on this in author's notes, but to elaborate: space is a valuable commodity on a ship. Almost everything, and everyone, has more than one role. Even the guns can be used for signalling. So I think the same would be true of the pokémon aboard (I also think most captains would prioritise pokémon for sailing rather than shooting, given that the sea is usually more dangerous than any enemy could be).

Quite what all this means is something I couldn't much get into, given what I was writing. If I were to write a period piece, Pokémon of the Caribbean or something (Yes, that does sound fun), I'd have more opportunity to elaborate.

Button-on-Sea is perhaps my favourite chapter for density and brevity. I suspect the reference will mostly go unnoticed, but the Long Man is a reference to the Cerne Abbas giant - a chalk figure in the south west of England with a similarly-sized chalk cock. The folklore is pulled right from Cerne Abbas as well, though all that about litter is just my jab at inconsiderate tourism. Bethany's language may be direct, but this is something you'll readily find in folklore compendia. I did debate whether referencing Greek myth would really make sense. It kind of doesn't, which is why I didn't reference anything famous but ... honestly the main reason I kept it more or less as-is, is because it was just too interesting not to.
 
Hello. I'm here from the Review Game. I'm reviewing Button-on-Sea. Also, this is the second from-scratch rewrite I've done of this review. I think your fic's premise has blindsided me like a brick to the scalp.

My initial plan was, as an act of Golden Rule courtesy, to review Button-on-Sea in your signature Technicals/Story/Characters story. But the more I tried to squeeze Button-on-Sea into that mold, the less focused my review became. And that's because technicals, story, and characters were completely irrelevant to whether I enjoyed Button on Sea. There is one simple issue preventing me from enjoying this fic:

Miss Bethany doesn't cite sources.

To try and rectify this from my end, I scrapped my initial review, re-read the summary, and decided to read the fic's introduction as well. But that just raised more questions. Such as:

• How is Miss Bethany's publisher financing her trip? Why did they impose such a strict time limit?
• Is Miss Bethany working with an editor? If so, who has final say over Miss Bethany's book's contents?
• What kind of academic background does Miss Bethany have, if she has one at all?
• Who owns copyright over Miss Bethany's book? Is Miss Bethany getting a share of the profits? If so, how much?
• Is Miss Bethany's publisher privately or publicly owned? If public, how many sales does Miss Bethany's book need to satisfy investors? If private, who are/is the controlling stakeholder?
• Does Miss Bethany have journalistic training? Is she aware of journalistic ethics and standards? Does she have a reputation? If so, what is it?

And so on. Long story short, I can't trust Button-on-Sea as a literal narrative, because I don't have good reason to trust its fictional writer and publisher. Call me a victim of post-truth, but the backing of a publisher is no longer enough for me to ensure nonfiction is indeed nonfiction. I need to know who wrote the book, how they financed it, what their sources are, etc. Otherwise, it's entirely possible my guide to Kanto has glaring errors, or even an (a)political agenda ("What's Button-on-Sea's average income? Major industries? Political leanings? What's this "manor council"? What authority do they have? How much does the hotel cost? Could I afford a vacation here, or am I stuck reading this book?").

So how does Miss Bethany establish credibility? Well, you're writing fictional nonfiction (what a word combo). You have the luxury of just making sources up and no one being able to challenge them. So have Miss Bethany cite sources. Add a bibliography. Put a citation whenever Miss Bethany states a fact. At the end of each chapter, make up some in-universe scientific papers for Miss Bethany to reference. I'd love to hear the name of the article in Button-on-Sea's local paper about the condom issue, or some made-up Pokémon scientific journals. It still might not be the "full story", but no one human has the full story. Miss Bethany revealing her sources would show she's willing to be scrutinized. She's showing her hand because she thinks she can't be beat, and that to me would make her as credible a source as could reasonably be expected.

This is definitely an out-there review. But I think it fits your out-there premise. This is borderline metafiction, or perhaps meta-fanfic. Best I can tell, you're going for a professional-grade travelogue vibe, which could be great if Miss Bethany can defend against in-universe accusations of deception. And that is not an unfixable issue; basic disclosure ("This book was financed by so-and-so") and proper citations can make this something special. But right now, to me, I can't reasonably trust Miss Bethany. And so, Button-on-Sea as a narrative can't be trusted.

EDIT: Tyop
 
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Hey, Beth! As requested for the review game, I took a look at Maiden's Peak! (I also read the intro so I have some grounding and was pleasantly surprised to see that these could be read out of order once I got to the ToC, so that was good.)

I think I'll start by saying that while this is definitely an unorthodox work from what I usually read, I think what you were going for went well! At least, I think that's what you were going for. In terms of tone, this comes off as one of those touristy shows on Food Network where they go around some particular town or place, explore the area, eat the food (this part isn't present, but you get what I mean) and otherwise spend the entire episode showing off what the place had to offer.

It was definitely a cozy sort of read without any sort of true plot to go with, more a story about the place as a grounding for exploring it with a reference point in mind. It was also a bit wordy at times, and sometimes the complex word choice became a little too distracting for my tastes, especially when those complex words are repeated. While that seems to be an intentional design choice on your part, I think the note fell a little flat.

I should also note that I know/recall nothing of this location from the anime, so I had zero reference for what it actually looks like or how the anime depicted it. In fact, I thought it was a completely made-up location of Kanto until I read the author's note at the end. Despite this, though, I thought you painted a really good picture of what this place is like, and for a "purely world building" piece, I enjoyed myself for the most part--which is quite a feat, since I'm more of a plotline sort of person.

With that out of the way, I have just a couple of quotes that stood out to me while reading...

eighteenth-century stone pubs

This is an odd descriptor to use in Pokemon, since I vaguely recall years being counted in weird ways depending on the canon you're looking at... And even if the years matched up, I don't know what that era would look like in such a fantastical land. Also I'm bad at history. I basically have no idea what this "stone pub" looks like.

“We ought to have renamed that place Dickhead’s Leap,” she said sourly.

Aaand my favorite line in the part.

Anyway, thanks for the read!
 
Butterflies and Roses
In true Torchic fashion, I am jumping into the middle of a story because a chapter contains themes I'm interested in.

I really just... I really just appreciate the nuanced take you took with this one. You didn't hold back on showing the darker parts of the red light industry, but you also didn't show the whole thing as an inherent evil or the workers in it as evil and/or lacking agency. Sex work is work just like any other work.

Oh yeah, and it's clear you put a lot of thought into the worldbuilding and the history of Rozhithe. Mad respect.
 
Review for the intros and Vermilion City Part I:

I confess my knowledge of travelogues is very limited; I've read they were very common in the past (such as during the Classical period or the Roman Empire) but have never read one myself.

Still, I found this a very enjoyable work; the author's commentary on how overdone Kanto is in the intro followed by confessing their error (and the later complaint about what they found in the quotation book--'just make it work' felt like it just oozed "from a well off family ignoring how reality is for less well off ones"). The log itself avoided the easy mistake of only discussing locations from the games/anime, mentioning logical things like for a large city, such as the aquarium or remnants of medieval fortification, and including some historical background information on the region and it's connection to the other Japan-based regions.

The commentary on Lapras' uncertain future reminded me of how in Moon the Dex entries state that they're out of the danger zone after protective measures were taken and are now overabundant and causing problems for other species.

HMS Thunderchild, huh? Hopefully not a sign of things to come for the Pokémon world.;)
 
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