TEEN: Land of the Roses

[Misfit Angel]

Author's note: So with progress on this story grinding to a halt due to personal issues, sickness, etc, I'm just going to force this small chapter out. Who knows, maybe it'll get me in the mood to write again. Anyways, are you a reader of the previous incarnation of Land of the Roses and wondering if this chapter is worth the read? Well, rejoice! This one's entirely new!

Nearly five months after responding to a humanitarian crisis in the arctic, a young heiress prepares to resume her personal life and professional career.​

May 13th
Cold Harbor, Kingdom of Glastonfell

"Come... now! Don't be... difficult!" a young woman grunted as she attempted to latch up an overburdened suitcase -- one that was at risk of exploding violently. "I don't have time to rearrange you, so just... close already!" she shouted as she jumped on top and wrestled with the clasps some more. With the suitcase finally closed, she glanced at her watch and let out a deep breath; in about 45 minutes, the train that would take her back home to the Kingdom of Lanark was scheduled to depart. After such a long time being away, she was happy that she was finally going home.

As she looked around, she realized that she was going to miss her home away from home, the regal and restored medieval Glenwoode Castle. She was surrounded on all sides by charming and rustic stone walls, a setting she'd fallen in love with. Lavish tapestries that featured the various heraldic sigils of Glastonfell's northern lowlands captivated her imagination almost every night she returned to the room. Most importantly, she would miss the warmth and the comfort, a stark contrast to the rest of Cold Harbor, a town oft-characterized by its rugged lifestyle and cold, long winters.

She pushed herself off of the bed and approached the luxurious black curtain that hung from the wall, and pushed it aside to see the town one last time. Her shoulders slumped downward; heavy snowfall obscured her vision and blanketed the balcony just outside of the window, dashing her hopes.

"I wish it would have stopped snowing by now..." she said with a heavy sigh. "I certainly needed some time away from everything, and the snow was beautiful at first, but this is just depressing..."

She wandered over to the mirror and began to braid her long, chestnut brown hair as she thought about the past six months of her life. Since the year began, she had been dedicating most of her time and energy to volunteering in the far-flung town of Cold Harbor, which had been brought to ruin by a devestating earthquake, and then demolished further by the following tsunami. Woefully unprepared to participate herself, she oversaw and directed the clearing of rubble and shattered ice in the immediate aftermath of the disaster. Eventually, she found herself helping to feed the needy and the poor in a charitable soup kitchen, and most recently, tutoring children who had no school to return to after the declaration of emergency had been lifted. Though much more work needed to be done to rebuild Cold Harbor, she felt she'd made a meaningful impact on the lives of those she helped, and that's what truly mattered to her.

Her recollections of her past deeds were interrupted as a heavy, hollow knock came from the ancient oaken door.

"Yes? Enter!" she called out.

The door opened and a stately older woman walked in. Her slender figure was framed in an ivy green pantsuit and accented with a crisp, frosty white blouse. She too had lengthy chestnut brown hair, but hers was tied into a tight bun, and a streak of grey ran from her forehead and into the bun along her left side. Though she appeared to be relaxed, a distant and dour gaze rested on her face.

"Oh! Mother! I didn't expect you. You usually don't knock."

Her mother's usually-dismal visage softened as their eyes met. "Look at you, my beautiful thing! You look so regal!"

"I do, don't I?" she said, twirling in front of the mirror. Her warm and cozy burgundy maxi dress fluttered about freely as she spun around carelessly. "This is what I wore when we visited with Queen Eithna of Dornoch in January, remember? She seemed to like it!"

"Ah, yes! That's right! I was so proud of you that day, in the way you handled yourself in her presence. You've come such a long way in these past few years. You used to be so timid and shy."

She returned to the mirror, grabbed the left side of her hair and started to twist it together into a complex Kalosian braid. "I think I have Nicole to thank for that."

"It pains me to, but I agree. That wretched scamp brought your best qualities forward."

"That 'wretched scamp' has been my best friend since we were little girls. I would appreciate it if you didn't casually insult her."

"Yes, yes, I shouldn't be so cruel... On the subject of admirable performances, the Valenzi Foundation has so much more work to do, and as such, you have a very busy schedule to look forward to when you return to Lanark. I have faith that your continued service to the foundation will be of the highest standard."

She paused for a moment and let go of her hair; the half-done braid untwisted as she stood like a statue, thinking about what she'd just heard. "...Continued service?"

Her mother handed over a leatherbound notebook. Emblazoned with 'Valenzi Foundation' in gaudy gold lettering and combined with her mother's wording, the book felt very heavy, and not in a physical sense.

She casually flipped through the pages. "... press event with Crown News Network about the relief effort ... gathering at Greenbriar Hall to secure additional funding for the foundation ... meeting with Lord Blackwell to discuss an extension on the foundation's tax waiver ..." Her expression hardened as she turned the page. "8 AM, May 22nd? How am I meant to manage all of this?"

"Does this schedule not work for you, dear?"

"No, it does not, and I very much do not appreciate you booking up my time with..." She flipped the page and read some more. "...sycophantic meetings. Narcissistic public appearances. Self-congratulatory conferences. Elitist social gatherings! All without my consent! Without consulting me first, and without taking into account what I already have scheduled."

"Oh... You seemed to be enjoying your work here. You pushed hard to be included as part of the relief mission, and you were diligent with the work you've done here. You went above and beyond what I expected of even our most dedicated assistants, so I assumed that you had finally made a decision on what you would be focusing on with your life."

She slammed the book shut and sighed angrily. "You assumed incorrectly. I did genuinely enjoy being a part of your foundation's mission here, but do you know why I really came here? Why I enjoyed this work so much, despite how heart-crushingly depressing it is out there? How utterly helpless the situation seems out there, despite our best efforts?"

Her mother tilted her head in a contentious manner, silent.

She held the book aloft and wiggled it gently. "I came here to... escape from all of this. It is quiet here. Peaceful. I don't have people staring at me, judging me, or holding me to excessive expectations. I don't have people assuming I'm just another member of the selfish wealthy elite, scheming about how I'll burn down an orphanage and make a profit off of it. There is no constant pressure to put 200% effort into every move I make. If I return to Visalia and act as if nothing has changed, that torment will return." She turned over the schedule book in her hands and offered it back. "I am sorry, mother, but this won't do. You'll have to find someone else for this. I have my own life to live, and I can't do that if you are making the decisions for me."

Her mother grabbed the schedule book and ran her finger down the leather cover; her head hung heavy with dejection and her eyebrows slanted upward. "I had no idea you were unhappy at home... What was troubling you that encouraged you to come all this way?"

"You... You really don't pay attention to me, do you..."

"Of course I pay attention to you! We have been working hard together for the past five months, have we not? Has there ever been a day where I did not address your needs?"

"No, you don't pay attention to me. Who I am, not the physical presence that stands in front of you... Your daughter, Kimberly Fairbrooke."

Her mother placed the schedule book on a nearby table and approached. She grabbed her daughter's hand and clasped it between hers. "I'm paying attention now. What is troubling you back at home?"

Kimberly wrestled her hand from her mother's grip and turned around to continue braiding her hair. "Unfortunately I don't have the time to explain the specifics right now, as my train is leaving shortly. All I can say is that... I'd recently gotten the feeling that people don't respect me as much as I'd assumed. Not the people around me, not my friends, not even my own family..." She turned around to address her mother again. "I know you'll be busy for the next few days, but if you're really interested... When you get back home, find my journal in my private study, it'll tell you all about these feelings. Speak to Petyr, as well." She paused. "I stress: my private study only. My journal in my bedroom is off limits."

"I am so sorry if I've made you feel disrespected, Kimberly..."

"Apology accepted. And I likewise apologize if I were a little fiery just now. It's just... I should be the one that's making the decisions that affect my life."

"I understand. I had a similar conversation with your grandmother, when I was your age..." her mother said with a nod. She grabbed the leatherbound schedule book and handed it over again. "Well! I dropped by to see you off and to give you this schedule. If you do change your mind and wish to participate in the organization's meetings and events, you are still welcome to."

Kimberly accepted the schedule book and let out a half-hearted laugh, then embraced her mother in a tight and loving hug.

"I'll see you in Visalia in a couple weeks then, love?"

"We'll see, mother."

"Good luck with your appearances in Aughrim!"

"Thank you."

As her mother took her leave, Kimberly looked at the schedule book, shook her head and returned it to the table her mother had grabbed it from. "I'm not sure if she listened to a single word I said..." A sigh followed; she returned to the bed and lifted not just one, but two bulky suitcases. "Whatever. I have a train to catch..."

 

[Misfit Angel]

Author's note: Hi! Are you a reader of the previous incarnation of Land of the Roses and wondering if this chapter is worth the read? This chapter is a remastered version of "Chapter 6: The Rails" and is told from Kimberly's point of view, rather than Andrea's. While much of it is thematically the same, I've tried to make it as different as possible to give older readers something new to work with.

While on the long train ride to the city of Augrhim, Kimberly strikes up a conversation with a peculiar and familiar-looking stranger.​

May 14th
Silverline Railway, near the town of Redfern Crossing, Kingdom of Lanark

The sound of a train horn echoed across the skyline of the town of Redfern Crossing as a Silverline train began its departure from the Alben International Rail Station. Inside, Kimberly fought to maintain her balance as the carriages jolted to life and began to move; she had just barely made it onto her connecting train, and she was the only passenger still on her feet. As she stumbled her way to the back of the carriage, she noticed that there were very few passengers aboard: an elderly pair of obvious tourists in matching comedic t-shirts, a university-age man in a salmon polo shirt and excessively tight skinny jeans, and a trio of women dressed in very distinct garb, indicating membership within a religious sisterhood, but one she couldn't accurately identify.

Thoughts began to swirl in her mind: it was an ample opportunity to catch a nap, as waking up at 3 AM to switch to another train had taken its toll on her energy. She reached into her purse and retrieved a designer Pokéball; pink and white in coloration, the Pokéball featured a pair of blunted cat ears on the top half, embossed paw prints on the bottom half, and a central button that resembled a feline nose. With a click of the button, the ball popped open with a burst of hearts and stars, and a diminutive feline Pokémon appeared on the table in front of her.

The feline creature was small in height, reaching up to its master's knees at most, and was covered in a thick and silky coat of black and brown fur. The fur extended downward, obscuring its dainty little paws, and at a glance, caused the feline to resemble a wide broom. Its fluffiest fur sprouted from its lengthy tail, bobbing and waving with every movement it made as the creature explored its surroundings.

"Telandra!" she said in a sugary voice. "Mommy is thinking of catching another nap! Snuggle-snuggle?"

The Skitty instantly jumped down onto her master's lap and plodded around in a circle before flopping over.

She chuckled lightly as her Skitty made herself comfortable, and she did the same. She scooted over and leaned against the window for a bit of support, then closed her eyes and attempted to drift off into sleep. Unfortunately, the bumpy ride along the Northcountry's remote and seldom-maintained rails made it difficult to doze off; either the repetitive back and forth would rouse her from her sleep, or she would be abruptly jerked side to side and have her head painfully smack into the frame of the window. With the train slowing down to a meek jog, she reasoned that a particularly bad section of track was coming up, so she abandoned her plans to have a nap.

She had a look through the window as the train chugged along at a leisurely pace. While the view of the outside Bramblemurk Marsh was customarily grim, its dull shades of green and brown and grey were a welcome change from the whites, blacks and blues she'd grown accustomed to in Cold Harbor. More importantly, there wasn't any snow visible anywhere, except atop the northern mountains. She rarely had the opportunity to see these mountains in all their splendor; they continued their eternal watch of the forests, fields and swamplands around them. She knew that they were just collections of stone at the end of the day, but she felt a deep appreciation for the beauty of nature that they represented, and they reminded her of the endless natural gifts that had been bestowed upon mankind.

It didn't take long before her view was interrupted by a sweet voice behind her. "'scuse me, miss," a railway employee said softly, with a cart of refreshments in tow. "Complimentary drinks! Would ye care fer some tea? Coffee? Maybe whiskey?"

"What kinds of tea do you have?"

"'fraid we only got Old Stone, miss."

"It's not my favorite, but Old Stone will do. Thank you." She watched as the hostess poured the freshly brewed tea into a porcelain mug.

"Are ye a sugar, milk er cream kinda gal?"

She feverishly shook her head. "No thank you. I'm trying to watch my figure."

The hostess raised an eyebrow for a brief moment, then smiled as she placed the mug on the table and slid it over. "Enjoy yer ride, miss! And don't hesitate to let me know if there's anythin' else I can do for ye."

"That will do for now, thank you."

One hefty gulp from the steaming mug sent a sense of warmth radiating throughout her body and renewed her energy. A glance at her watch told her that nearly four hours remained before she'd reach her destination of Aughrim, and since her options for entertainment were limited, she resolved to spend her time wisely and work on something she held a deep passion for: Pokémon Coordination. She reached into her purse and pulled out a notebook, splayed it on the table, and began to read from her notes as she took another sip of her bitter tea.

The first page of her notes was a broad list of potential coordination routines; some featured snazzy names such as Spinning Mistress, Frost Chandelier and Double Trouble, though most were simply listed as 'unnamed routine #xx' or something similarly unimaginative. She flipped a few pages ahead and found her notes on her Spinning Mistress routine:

SPINNING MISTRESS

Basic idea: Juliano retreats into his shell and begins to spin in place in a rapid manner, while I ride atop and demonstrate a mastery of balance under extreme circumstances.

The Spinning Mistress is simple to pull off in concept, but has been difficult to master. It is a simple fact that the human body is not meant to spin as rapidly as a Wartortle is capable of. Even while employing the techniques I learned while participating in those dreadful ballet classes from when I was a little girl, I still can not keep up, and dizziness follows quickly. I think the fact that I am even capable of it at all is what has impressed not just my mentor, but the judges at the Daughter of the Seas contest.

Some difficulties have arisen since my time at that contest, however. The most obvious is that Juliano is now a Blastoise! This has likely affected his agility... Is he even capable of it anymore? More importantly, is it still safe to do? His shell has grown rough and jagged during the evolution process... I have trouble staying on my feet during the Spinning Mistress, and falling now would be much more painful. Perhaps even dangerous.

This is the routine that put me on the map... I must practice it when I get the chance, and see if we are still capable of it.

She flipped her notes forward even more, landing on a page that detailed one of the outfits she'd like to wear while participating in the sport. At the center of the page on the right, an extremely intricate pencil drawing of a feminine model stood tall and proud, ready to be clothed in whatever outfit she could imagine. Some hastily scrawled notes were found in the margins of the page, while the page on the left was much more detailed:

Outfit idea? Mermaid princess?

Cold Harbor's folk stories about the mermaid princess Anara have inspired me! The legends tell of a mermaid who was injured during a storm one day, and rescued and nursed back to health by a fisherman who caught her in his net. They fell in love and promised to marry each other, only for her to later reveal that she was royalty! She needed to return to her kingdom beneath the sea, but promised to return for him someday... That time never came, as when the princess was finally free to return to her love, he had long since died when his ship was seized by pirates. So stricken with grief was she that she wandered onto the shore, dooming herself to a hasty demise as her body began to fizzle into bubbles...

One of the few buildings to survive the earthquake that struck Cold Harbor was the art museum, and various artistic interpretations of Princess Anara were on display. Images of her vary, but they've given me enough ideas to form an outfit!

• A sparkling pearl tiara. I may be able to repurpose the old tiara I wore as part of my costume for last year's Night of the Golden Harvest gala. I'll have it sent to Metal & Earth Jewelry and have my jeweler look it over.
• A seashell themed bikini top. While I am not a fan of relying on sex appeal to earn favor with the judges, it's a simple fact that mermaids are all about sex appeal. It might be a little uncomfortable, but it is just a costume at the end of the day, right? I'm thinking pastel pink for this?
• Spiraled silver arm bracelets! I can certainly repurpose the ones that I wore for my mother's foundation's charity ball last November. I only hope that they still fit around my arms...
• A coral red dress fashioned from glimmering, scale-shaped sequins? That might be a little uncomfortable, however... It may also impede with the fluid motions my routines typically require, as well.
• What should I do with my hair? The most popular interpretation of Princess Anara features five braided pigtails, and my attempts at recreating it have led me to believe that mimicking this hairstyle is impossible for a human...

She retrieved her trusted mechanical pencil from her purse next and began to draw the outfit she had imagined onto the blank model. It was a fairly smooth process, but every now and then the train would jerk to the side, ruining her carefully applied line work. Over time, she grew frustrated, but it wasn't the shaky train ride that was starting to get under her skin; ever since she was in elementary school, she had poured countless hours into her artistic skills, only for them to be seemingly absent after just a few short months of little practice. The shapes she applied to the shell design on the bikini were disappointing, she had difficulty getting the curves right for the spiraled arm bracelets, and she characterized her work on the scaled dress as sloppy and poorly done.

Frustrated by her rusty art skills, she broke her attention away from her notes and focused again on the majestic mountains visible on the opposite side of the carriage instead. Before long, her view was briefly obstructed as another passenger walked by, a young blonde woman clad almost entirely in black, with a dress that invoked striking arachnid motifs with its design. Her eyes found themselves abandoning the majestic mountains and instead following the attention-grabbing woman as she walked down the aisle. Something about the woman felt extremely familiar, as if she were an old friend, and she quickly realized why: the woman was wearing an easily identifiable and familiar dress, the Misfit Angel Spider.

"That dress... It couldn't be, is that Nicole? Did she bleach her hair since I last saw her? What could she be doing this far north? She retired from her travels last year..."

She continued watching. The woman stopped at an empty seat, cautiously looked around, then dropped her purse onto the table in front of the seat and sat down. After another cautious look around, the woman reached into her striped thigh high stocking and retrieved a phone, then grabbed a pair of earbud headphones from her purse. In short order, she was bobbing back and forth, lost in a world of music.

Her theory about the woman being her old friend Nicole was dashed as she studied the woman's face; her lips were the wrong size, thinner and covered in black matte lipstick; Nicole was very vocal about her dislike of lipstick. Distance made it difficult to tell for certain, but her eyes appeared to be a pale blue or slate grey, rather than brown. The part in her hair was on the left side of her head, rather than straight down the middle, and the coloration of her unbleached roots was different than Nicole's. The woman was also fairly curvy compared to the lithe and limber Nicole she knew.

"Whoever she is, she's pretty cute... Who is this girl?"

A stranger, she told herself, and nothing more.

She tried to return to her notebook, but kept finding herself looking upward and glancing in the direction of the stranger. A person as strikingly dressed as her simply had to have an interesting personality, and she found herself wondering about the possibilities. Did she dress like that as a means of expressing a deep and hidden inner pain? Or was she rude and rebellious, and sought to distance herself from the norm? Or perhaps she was deeply spiritual, and the way she dressed was simply her way of seeking a connection to one of the old gods? The spider motifs on her dress certainly brought up images of Amáda-Mór, ancient goddess and guardian of the underworld -- at least that was what she recalled from her shaky memories of her grade school mythology classes.

"She's such a curious individual... Would she find it odd if I just... approached her and started a conversation?"

No doubt she would.

Still, that was how people formed friendships in the past, wasn't it? That was how her parents met, in fact. She recalled the story that her father had told her close to a hundred times about how they'd met on an airplane bound for Kalos; icy weather forced their flight to land elsewhere, and over the next couple of days while the airport was shut down and alternate travel was arranged, the two had become best friends. It was one of her favorite stories growing up, and she hoped to one day experience something similar. Marriage was certainly out of the question, but perhaps today could be the day she had a similar experience and met a new best friend?

"It would be nice to make a new friend... Start with a clean slate, no drama or controversy...

Drama, controversy and treacherous backstabbing had ruined so many friendships before; she deserved better, and she was going to try.

She was ready to push herself to her feet and approach the stranger before she was swept up in a wave of anxiety. That tricky voice in the back of her mind reminded her of the many facts of life relating to social interaction: don't approach strangers on public transport, they're just trying to get on with their lives, you weirdo; commenting on a stranger's appearance, or complimenting them in any way is a sign that you're a deviant, you creep; strangers won't want to hear your boring life stories, or about how your life is much better than theirs, you twat. All of this is why people who aren't forced to be associated with you tend to shy away and not like you, you loser.

Another thought came to mind that threatened her plans: "Oh no... What if I talk to her and she has that horrible highland gutterspeak accent? I could barely understand half of the people in Glastonfell...

There was only one way to find out. She put all of her anxieties in a box and packed them away, and tapped on her Skitty. "Telandra? Time to get up..."

Telandra stretched long and hard, then curled up even further.

She scooped her hands underneath her Skitty and picked her up, then placed her onto the table. "I have no idea if that lady is allergic to cats, so... stay here, please? Mommy will be back shortly."

Telandra flopped over and quickly fell asleep again.

She gathered her courage as she slowly made her way down the aisle towards the blonde stranger. She was completely unsure of what to expect, and the uncertainty added to her apprehension. She couldn't believe she was getting this worked up over a simple introduction; she rarely found it difficult to interact with strangers! She wondered why it was different this time, though admittedly, it was the first time since she was a child that she approached a total stranger with the intent to start a conversation; typically she had at least one shared interest, hobby or goal when she'd attend galas, meetings and other social gatherings, which always helped to ease the tension.

She took a deep breath, then one final step. "Excuse me, miss?"

The stranger tugged at the wires of her earbuds, popping them out of her ears; loud and aggressive thrash metal continued to blare away. "Eh?"

"I, umm... I couldn't help but... but notice you, and umm..."

The stranger's eyebrow perked up.

"I-I... was just wondering if you would like to pass the time with a chat? It's quite some time before we arrive at the next station."

The stranger seized upon her awkward introduction with a burst of laughter. "Look, lady, I... don't really talk to strangers..." She glanced at her phone for a brief moment, then continued. "But... I guess it is a long train ride ahead of me... And you sound even more socially awkward than I am, so this should be some good entertainment." She tapped on the screen and the screeching music from her earbuds ceased. "I dunno. Have a seat, I guess."

"Oh, thank the goddess! She doesn't speak like broken glass..." she thought as she sat down. "I am not normally that awkward, I assure you."

"Guess we'll see," the stranger responded. A lengthy silence followed as they both stared out the window, and eventually a coy smile appeared on the stranger's face. "Not awkward, huh..." she quietly mused. "So, uhh... Did you want to talk about anything? Or are we just going to appreciate the view out there together?"

Worry crept up on her; she was blowing her introduction! She urged herself not to open their dialogue with a commentary on the stranger's attention-grabbing appearance, lest she give the wrong impression, but her mind was running blank! She scrambled for the first safe option that came to mind and extended her hand forward. "Umm, well, let's start with names! I am Kimberly Fairbrooke. What is your name?"

The stranger looked at her extended hand as if it were an unknown gesture. "Andrea."

She tilted her head. "No surname? I prefer to be polite when speaking with people I don't know well."

"My first name is good enough. I won't be offended."

"Very well, Ms. Andrea. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance!"

"Don't worry, that'll change pretty quick. It always does," Andrea jokingly replied.

Another awkward pause followed. She began to worry that there wasn't much chemistry between her and her new acquaintance. She tried to continue the flow with another question. "Where are you from? I can't quite pin down your accent."

Andrea nodded. "Blech, everyone tells me that. If you really want to know, I was born on Storm Island and lived there until I was about six years old. I moved here and spent my childhood in the Heartland, then spent the past few years in Aughrim. I guess my accent must sound pretty terrible to most people, because I got made fun of for it a lot when I came to this country. And then that horrid countryside drawl started to bleed in...""

"Oh, no! Your accent is lovely! I was actually worried you had one from the Highlands, considering we're on a train in the Northcountry. I don't mean to be rude, but I think our conversation would be over by now if that were the case. I just came from Glastonfell, and I had a tough time speaking with some people..."

Andrea laughed. "Oof, yeah. I spent some time up there last year myself, I couldn't understand anyone! I was lucky I had someone with me to interpret... How can two neighboring countries speak the same language, but not understand each other?"

"Heh, right? So, I take it you're returning to Aughrim? Or do you have another destination?"

"Yep, Aughrim for me. That where you heading?"

"Mhmm!" she hummed with a nod. "I've missed the city life! It'll be nice to return to it for a change."

"I can tell by your accent that you're not from Aughrim, so let me warn you: don't get your hopes up. There's nothing nice about the city if you ask me. Everyone is so rude, so selfish, and with some new justice reforms passed by the city council at the start of the year, violent crime is on the rise... I can't say I really enjoy living there."

"Why live there, then?"

Andrea's expression darkened. "Because I'm trapped and I have no other options? I've been out of work for nearly six months. My roommate and I only barely manage to scrape by by doing odd jobs for friends and neighbors to pay for rent and dinner, and I've been going to bed hungry some nights just to pay for this stupid train ride. Unless something changes, I can't afford to move somewhere with more opportunity."

"What a heartbreaking tale if it's true!" she thought. She had a hard time believing it, owing it to the fact that her new acquaintance was wearing heavy makeup and designer clothing -- with boots that looked like they'd cost a couple golden roses all on their own. Not to mention the luxurious silver necklace that sparkled with a pearlescent blue sheen -- the hallmark of expensive Argentium silver -- and the various rings on her fingers. Andrea was also on the heavier side, how could she be starving? It wouldn't be the first time a stranger tried winding her up or attempted to take advantage of her sympathy with falsehoods, so she vowed to be careful. "Surely it's not that grim."

"Lady, you don't even know. If I didn't have a roommate looking out for me, I'd probably be chained up to a radiator in a basement somewhere, or rotting in a ditch right now."

She found herself completely blind sided by Andrea's wildly imaginative and grotesque assertions. "Umm. What a thing to say."

"Okay, maybe my life isn't that bad... But it's still pretty bad," Andrea said before sighing. "I'm hoping that all changes soon... I'm on my way home from a job interview. I think I did well enough, but I've learned not to get my hopes up."

"Oh? What kind of work would you be doing?"

"Biological research. You ever heard of the Reiland Institute?"

She shook her head; the name sounded vaguely familiar at best, but nothing came to mind.

"It's the most prestigious and advanced research institute in the whole kingdom, so anything I say might go over your head... I'll keep it simple: I'd be researching Pokémon and trying to figure out what makes them tick. Categorization, evolutionary quirks, dietary habits, genetic analysis probably... But until I hear back from them, it's back to doing nothing with my life... As I've learned I deserve."

"Wow, she's so doom and gloom... She must take this goth thing more seriously than Nicole ever did..."

More silence enveloped them. Kimberly found herself waiting for her new acquaintance to carry on the conversation in some form; Andrea passed the time by fidgeting quietly, scratching at her chipped black nail polish with her other nails.

"She doesn't seem very interested in me... Why won't she ask any questions about me?" she wondered. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm not doing much for a living right now, either."

"I don't know why everyone always says that. I don't feel better just because someone else is out of work, too."

"Hmm," she hummed. "That is a good point... Forget I said it... Umm, so anyways! The original reason I wanted to talk to you was because of your appearance! What you're wearing is very attention grabbing, and --"

Andrea sighed and rested her chin on her hand. She muttered something under her breath, too quietly for Kimberly to hear, before finally interrupting her by speaking up. "So, what. You going to tell me that it's a shame that I'm hiding such a beautiful face under all this makeup like so many others have said? Or that I should have grown out of this goofy phase years ago? If you're here to criticize the way I look or tell me I'm going to burn in the depths of hell --"

Her eyes began to widen as Andrea went off like gunpowder; she appeared to have opened a sensitive wound by bringing the subject up. "Wow. She's pretty... fiery! Just like Nicole..."

Andrea stopped mid-rant and stared at her, then brought her hand up to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Ach, sorry. I've been under a lot of stress lately, I shouldn't have gone off like that. It's just that everyone seems to have a problem with the way I dress, you know? I'm sick of hearing it. Sick of even talking about it sometimes."

"Oh! I didn't mean to offend, if that's what I did! I was just curious about something, that's all!"

Andrea sighed again, followed by a much more courteous nod. "What about?"

Now that she was much closer, she studied the dress more thoroughly. "That's a Misfit Angel dress you're wearing, correct?"

Andrea could see where her eyes had drifted, and with a laugh, she covered her exposed cleavage with her hand. "I really should have worn that wrinkled mess I originally wanted to, instead of this revealing thing... But yes, it is."

"And it's the Spider, correct?"

Andrea's left eyebrow lifted. "You know about this stuff? Pardon me for assuming, but you really don't look the type, Princess Kimberly."

"You could say that!" She reached for her notebook and opened it up to a page featuring another one of her drawn models, clad in a conservative-yet-revealing frilly black dress, accented with scarlet ribbons across the chest and belly, and down the sides. A large upturned collar stood upon the model's shoulders, and various other features depicted her as a vampire. The caption below the drawing was labeled as Blood Baroness. "A friend of mine asked me to design this dress for her last year. I imagine it looks familiar to you?"

Andrea took the notebook and studied the drawing in detail, and her right eyebrow shot up next. "Wait a minute..." She lowered the notebook and studied Kimberly's face intently. "I thought you looked vaguely familiar... You're that girl who was Nicole Spencer's sidekick last year, during her challenge of the Rose League, aren't you?"

"Mhmm! Co-designer of the very dress you're wearing right now, too," she said, flipping through the notebook. "...But I don't think I have the concept art for that one drawn in this notebook..."

"You're friends with Nicole Spencer? Like, fashion designer Nicole Spencer, just to be clear?" Andrea was overtaken by excitement and continued without allowing her to respond. "Shit! That's so cool! She's such an inspiration to me! I haven't met her, so this will probably sound weird or creepy or something, but... I've been following her since before she got famous, back when she was just posting her fashion ideas on Bloggo, and she really helped me break out of my shell a few years ago! Oh! I am such a huge fan of her work!"

Kimberly giggled. "I can tell! It seems we have something in common, then. She's been a pillar of strength for myself as well."

"Oh yeah? How so?"

"She's... uhh... umm..." she stumbled. "I do suppose that's a bit of a personal story that I'm not too comfortable sharing... All that needs to be said is that despite her rough exterior, she's a very passionate and supportive young woman, and helped guide me through some of the toughest times I've faced."

"That's fine, you don't have to explain."

"On the other hand, she can be a bit... difficult. She's very selfish at times and quick to anger. I remember that when we were partnered up for our journey across the kingdom, there we many times when she'd stomp all over plans I'd made and do her own thing, and then she would get upset when I told her I wasn't happy with her behavior! But, her heart is in the right place most of the time," she added. "I hope I haven't shattered any illusions for you."

Andrea shrugged. "Not really. She sounds a lot like me, and I'm pretty good at tolerating myself."

She giggled at the joke.

"Hey... I must have been acting pretty rude since you came over," Andrea said, finally offering her hand across the table. "Sorry about that."

She shook Andrea's hand happily and smiled. "Well... I wasn't going to say it... I understand, one's guard must be kept up, especially on public transport."

"Hmm. Yeah! It's public transport that makes me act like this, not the fact that I'm an asocial and heartless bitch! Let's go with that!" Andrea said with a laugh. "So, when I was... stalking Nicole, for lack of a better term, she never really mentioned you in her various social media updates, so I don't know anything about you. Tell me a little bit about yourself, I guess?"

"Finally..." she thought. She was ready to unleash her life story on Andrea when she remembered what she just said about keeping one's guard up; Andrea seemed nice enough, but she didn't know if her new acquaintance could be trusted yet, and blabbing about being a wealthy heiress to a stranger would probably end poorly for her. Instead, she settled on something that was much less of a guarded secret: "Well, I'm off to Aughrim to compete in a coordination contest! I must admit, I am very nervous to be returning to coordination..."

Andrea scratched her head. "Uhh... Coordination?"

"Have you never heard of it?"

"The phrase sounds familiar, but I don't think I know what it is."

She frowned. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Pokémon coordination is not a widely popular sport compared to competitive training, and most people don't take it seriously. I suspect that is because it's traditionally viewed as a woman's sport, but... That is just my biased opinion."

Andrea laughed. "I dunno, you might be right about that! I've noticed that there are so few women worth looking up to as heroes when it comes to Pokémon training... and because of that, I just don't really follow that kinda stuff, especially now that your friend seems to have retired from it all."

"Ah. Would you be interested in hearing about it? Or is that my cue to not bore you with it?"

"No, go ahead! We've got plenty of time to kill."

"Well, there are many styles to it, but the most popular form -- and the one I am interested in competing in -- It's... a stage show, I guess! I would best describe it as a modernization of those old circus acts that were all the rage last century, and it involves flashiness, showmanship, stunning visuals and enchanting costumes."

"Oh! You mean, like, Dewgongs jumping through hoops of fire?"

She nodded passionately. "Not quite, but something like that! There's music, there's dance, and there's dozens of other odd talents that coordinators bring to the stage. I myself try to employ gymnastics in my routines, and it's worked well for me in the past."

"Sounds a lot more fun than watching Pokémon rip each other to shreds in fights, all while people cheer loudly and place bets on it."

"Yes... I did try competitive training first, but that side of the sport put me off of it. Coordination is a lot more friendly and humane. I guess that's the woman's touch, and why people don't take it as seriously... It's all good fun, but I can't accurately state how nervous I am... I did win the first contest I competed in, but that was nearly six months ago... I was a lot more confident in myself than I am now."

"What's the matter? Lost your nerve?"

"In a way... It's not that I don't believe in myself, it's that nobody else does. A lot of people don't believe I fairly earned my win... Was it anger over the fact that I won? Jealousy that I had such an accomplished and famed mentor? Resentment that I was already more well known than any of the other competitors? I never figured out why."

"I don't know about any of that, but would it change anything if a stranger said she believes in you?"

"Do you really?"

"Well... I know what it's like to live with the constant worry that you're not good enough in the eyes of those around you. Whatever the drama is around your previous win, I don't really care about it. You seem like a decent person with a lot of passion for it, and that's worth believing in. At the very least, I'm just trying to make you feel a little bit better."

"Thank you." She smiled at the gesture; it was almost certainly a hollow one, but she could appreciate it nonetheless. "I wonder... She doesn't seem totally disinterested in the sport of coordination... Would she be interested in actually attending a contest?" she thought. "Umm... It may be a a little presumptuous of me to ask, but..." she bleated nervously, then froze.

"But?"

"You mentioned earlier that you don't have many women to look up to when it comes to sports. Maybe... Maybe I could be one of them? Because I'm... kind of in need of a fan to cheer me on." She flinched as Andrea's facial expression hinted at her disinterest, but she was already in too deep. "My next contest is next week. If you're interested and have the time to attend, I could arrange for a VIP ticket for you. It would be no problem."

Andrea seemed as if she didn't know how to respond. "I... I don't know. Next week?" she said, followed up by something murmured too quietly to hear. "Umm... ... ...maybe?"

"You don't sound so certain."

"It's just... I dunno! It's a bit sudden, I don't know you or even follow coordination at all... I don't know if I'd enjoy myself at all. And if things go well for me, I might not even be in town by next week. I don't want to make a promise I can't keep. I've done that enough in my life."

"Oh! That's understandable! I'm happy to give you some time to think it over! Perhaps I could get your number and ask again as we get closer to the night of the contest?"

Once again, Andrea's confounded expression returned, and she hesitated to answer. A mix of frustrated sighs and huffs of unsureness preceded her final answer, "Uhhh. Sure, why not. I guess if I am in town, it'd be a... change of pace from another night of staying in and lamenting about my boring and sad existence. Just... don't expect me to cheer loudly from the stands if I do attend. I don't do enthusiasm."

She grinned. "I'm not sure I believe that! Do I have to bring up Nicole again?"

"Hey, no fair. That was out of character for me!" Andrea answered back as she turned her phone back on. "Let's see... My number is 1-704-6245."

She brought her own phone out and added Andrea to her contacts list. "1-704-6245..." she repeated for confirmation. "Thank you! Do you need mine?"

Andrea nodded. "Yeah. I get so many robocalls these days that I'm considering ignoring numbers I don't recognize... Probably not ideal for a jobless girl to do, but... fuck, it's so annoying!"

"Yes... It really is out of control, isn't it? My number is 1-102-1143."

"1... 102..." Andrea muttered. "Got it. Send me a message a couple days before the contest and we'll see if I'm up for it? Remember, no promises."

She smiled. "Very well! You're free to send me messages as well, if you like! I wouldn't mind."

Andrea snickered. "You will once you see the kind of shit I send to people!"

"Heh... Should I be scared?"

"Nah. That was another joke."

"I see! I suppose Nicole helped me to get used to strange --" her train of thought was interrupted as the railcar ground to a halt. She looked out the window to see where they were, half worried they'd already arrived at the next stop, but they were in the middle of the wilderness. "We've stopped?"

"Seems we have..."

A soothing beep rang throughout the carriage, followed by an announcement from the conductor: "Attention all passengers! Recent flooding from the seasonal snow melt has left some of the upcoming rails under a few centimeters of water. We will be slowing down and deploying teams of rail spotters to safely navigate--"

"Oh right, this again," Andrea said.

"Flooded tracks? Can we even safely pass through that?" Kimberly asked.

"Yeah. It wasn't a problem when I came through here a couple days ago... But it does get a little bumpy, so you might wanna grab onto the table for support once we start moving again."

"Hmm... Perhaps I should recall my Skitty then... She's asleep on the table back at my own seat."

Andrea's face lit up. "You have a Skitty? Aww! Can I see her?!"

She stood up and gestured for her new friend to follow. "If you'd like! I actually left her behind because I wasn't sure if you were allergic."

"I don't think I am!" Andrea smiled and followed her down the aisle. "It's not really financially wise right now, but I've been thinking of getting a Skitty as a house pet... Maybe I could get your thoughts on that..."

 

[Beth Pavell]

Since kintsugi requested I review you for her prize, breaking from our usual review exchange. I'm going to skip right across the Technical Accuracy/Style section. There's never anything wrong with your technical accuracy, and barring anything experimental from you I don't think there's anything new to say on stylistics.

General thoughts, I notice a few things altered since the previous version. It comes across as enough like a job interview that I'm reluctant to pick at it. Different industries, different companies, different countries do interviews differently, so I think there's reasonable scope for suspending disbelief. One of the better bits:

Dr. Reiland dug through the mountain of paperwork that rested on her desk, categorizing them neatly and quickly as she did so. "Now... I had your application on this desk this morning, Ms. Dennison... Let's see... Ah! Yes! Here it is!" she triumphantly said. "Now, before we begin, I would like to thank you for coming. I understand that the train ride from Aughrim is a long and exhausting one."

I've seen worse than that. I've been interviewed ten minutes late by a bloke who didn't know who I was or why I was there.

There's not a vast amount to comment on, plot-wise, other than that. It plays out pretty much the way it should and the chapter ends where it should. There's a lot of bland questions and bland answers flying around, but that's an interview. It's a test of how much of a bland model you can be. In lieu of that then, a couple quote-based remarks:

Two years as a part time waitress at..." she paused, retreating to the application again. "The Lair? I'm unfamiliar with that establishment."

You would have been wiser to leave that off your CV, dear.

That is all. Dismissed.

Shame on you, doctor.

One thing which did occur to me, is how open Andrea is about her neuroses to someone she's just met. I don't know how deliberate that is, but if it is your way of conveying the information to the reader then you may be implying things about her personality that you don't intend.

 

[kintsugi]

Doing some heckin crossposts for shitpost sunday

Truly, I am the worst with keeping up with things. Let's jump in where we left off at... chapter 2? Whoops.

She restrained herself from responding fiercely -- something she realized she typically did when people pointed out her attire in a critical manner -- worried about Patrick's warning about displaying an attitude. "They say not to judge a book by its cover."

c h a r a c t e r g r o w t h

The office was a cozy mess.

I particularly liked this description here -- it says a lot in very few words.

"The fact that you made that journey despite what I imagine is a shaky financial situation shows your dedication to this. I don't think many people would travel across an entire country for something they didn't have a guarantee on."

yah lmao there's this great thing called video interviews for people who are far away to get through the early stages; mebbe y'all should look into that instead of making this poor girl cross an entire country

"I've looked over your application many times, Ms. Dennison, and I must say that it's quite impressive for someone your age. A bachelor's degree in biology from the University of Aughrim. A thesis on the effects of pollution on marine and shore wildlife that was published in the Lanark Journal of Science. Two years of course credit in mechanical engineering. A 3.7 GPA across four years of university study. Top marks in high school. Star pitcher for the league-winning Goldwheat Girls softball team. Two years as a part time waitress at..." she paused, retreating to the application again. "The Lair? I'm unfamiliar with that establishment."

This is an interesting assessment imo -- I think to most hiring people, the top half is wildly more impressive than the first. The two years of course credit doesn't mean much, given that most of the higher-level/rigorous courses don't start until the third year anyway. Most people outside of college admissions officers understand that high school is kind of a crapshoot and don't take the grades there seriously (it's possible your school was meh and it's easy to coast through on rote memorization to get good grades; it's possible that you really turned yourself around after high school and your bad grades there don't matter much either). Pitching for softball is a fun achievement but not particularly relevant to this field of study I imagine. And part time jobs are great but assuming that modern day Lanark is similar to modern day now, having a part time food service job while in college really just means that she's not in trust fund baby status and needs to eat to live. And later, Dr. Reiland even points out that Andrea's listed herself as being enrolled in a PhD program that she currently isn't -- which might be a mistake on Andrea's part to present it as such, but saying that you're enrolled somewhere that you aren't is actually fraud lol.

Which might be what you're going for here -- that Dr. Reiland isn't impressed with what normal people care about on resumes, and that she appreciates that Andrea is well-rounded and driven despite being relatively young. From what I remember this is a really prestigious opening and Dr. Reiland is only going for the best, in which case high school achievements and waitressing tend not to have as high of a ranking compared to what publications you've done, your professor rec letters, blah blah blah boring stuff.

And I feel like you were sort of going for an angle here -- Dr. Reiland has really high standards, but what she's really looking for is an individual who's going to give a shit, not someone who's got the piece of paper from the good college saying they did the good things. I think in that case you could almost frame it a little differently -- Andrea's coming in ready to tout her undergrad degree and her coursework and her publications, and Dr. Reiland is like "oh but tell me more about this cool softball thing you did".

"Ah, I understand. One last question about that, then. Have these medical problems passed?"

I don't think this is actually a legal question? Under most western employment laws at least -- obviously, Lanark can be different, but I figured I'd point this out.

"Ah, yes, that's the one. What I do know is that most people grow out of that phase before they graduate from high school, and those that don't... Well... I hear that they typically aren't the most respectable or respectful people."

And this feels like really tactless phrasing pot to the kettle when I say it, I know -- I get the feeling that Dr. Reiland is supposed to be super accomplished in her field, and if she's in any sort of academia relating to biology and that biology academia in Lanark is similar to Earth that means she's seen all. sorts. And even if they unsettle her, if she's been in this field long enough, she should absolutely know how to pitch things in a more tactful way than "lol I've heard this stereotype that you guys suck", because she's probably had to work for/with tons of strange types in her rise to the top, and she wouldn't have made it this far without at least a little charisma.

And I was usually working alone anyways during my 'group' projects while I was at university."

Dr. Reiland chuckled. "I see that hasn't changed since my own days at university..."

And this as well -- this would probably be a red flag. Not that university groups aren't almost always complete shitshows (that's almost the point? I guess?), but that Andrea isn't able to make any conclusive takeaways on that besides that people suck and she's best to hoof it on her own. There's a fine line between independence/being able to self-direct on tasks, and not being able to work with others whatsoever, and while I think it's okay for Andrea to say things that make her look like she's on the wrong side of that line, it's weird that Dr. Reiland is nodding along with it. Research is a lot of solo work, yeah, but it's also got a hefty amount of collaboration and you can't really avoid that.

"I like her. She's smart. She's got impressive accolades. She seems down to earth too, which I think is probably one of the most important things to consider. We do have a lot of young hot heads here that like to bump into each other and compete, she could be a nice change of pace from that." He glanced in her direction. "You've got a lot of potential, Andrea, and you can reach new heights at a place like this. I think you'd be a valuable asset if we work with you, train with you and iron out any problems that arise."

Likewise, it's sort of weird for the interviewing panel to say things directly to you, I feel? Usually they play their hands close to their chests so they can undercut your salary in your offer letter by not revealing how good of a candidate they think you are to maintain professionalism. And, ironically, to reduce the crushing sensation that Andrea gets directly after they tell her they think she's interesting and then send her back home.

"Now... Let's say you and a fellow staff member have a dispute about the way to move forward. Persistent arguments occur that affect not only your productivity, but the productivity of those around you. How do you deal with such a circumstance?"

"That is all. Dismissed."

oh yup kek this is definitely an on-brand interview Mood.

I think you do a really good job of portraying the stakes here. The questions are tense, they fly around like hotcakes, Andrea's really uncomfortable, etc. You nail the feeling of being on the receiving end of an interview pretty well, I think.

There's a few snags that I think are a little strange/out of place, most of which I noted above. And I feel like there are a few angles that are missing -- all of this commentary is based purely on my experience interviewing for post-college jobs, so things are going to vary, but I figured I'd point out. Usually interviewers will ask the interviewee if they have any questions about the position as well -- these questions tend to show what Andrea thinks she's getting into, what areas of the job she's most interested in, if she's even googled the name of the company, etc. Usually for in-person interviews there's a tour of the facilities and other stuff where they point out the coffee machine and talk about workplace culture. And I think it's a little strange that we've gone this far and we don't actually know the full details of what Andrea's position entails, what they'll be having her doing, etc. The interview is kind of the least exciting part of the job, but also it's pretty wild that they're going to make her train all the way out here for a handful of questions that she could've answered over the phone.

One other angle I think that would help a lot would be to replace some of the hypothetical "what would you do if _____" questions with "describe a time that you've done ____"

"Now... Let's say you and a fellow staff member have a dispute about the way to move forward. Persistent arguments occur that affect not only your productivity, but the productivity of those around you. How do you deal with such a circumstance?"

The answer Andrea gives is the answer that almost any sane candidate would give, lol -- no one's going to be like "oh yeah I'd be a toxic POS and spread rumors and bitterly think about how much I snipe with this staff member", but in the heat of the moment a lot of people would probably do things like that. It's a bad question that lets the interviewee present their idealized version of themselves forward, when the interviewer is looking for the actual version of that person.

And! Two birds one stone, you get to weave more backstory in here. I think I already mentioned how this interview setup is a really clever way to introduce Andrea, since you can literally have her tell people important aspects of herself without it seeming forced (but if I haven't already mentioned that, it's a really clever way to introduce Andrea!). If you have a few more questions in there that are "Describe a time that you and a coworker or college have disagreed about something in a way that started to affect not just your productivity, but the productivity of those around you", not only is this a more holistic type of interview question, but it also lets the readers get a bit more insight into what Andrea was doing before all of this started. And maybe she didn't deal with it well, maybe it was 70% bad shit and 30% lessons learned that she'll apply to the next time she has to deal with someone like this; you could take this answer in a lot of ways, set up foreshadowing for character growth, etc -- all while putting it in terms of an interview question that's more likely to be asked than the hypothetical version.

Overall though, I think you really nailed the feeling of an interview. Dr. Reiland is friendly and (for the most part; flagged the weird things to me above) professional, but she's certainly not Andrea's friend. It's tense but polite, and you have a lot of information flowing back and forth. I sort of forgot Patrick's in the room, but in a good way -- it helps nail down that tunnel-vision feeling that happens when people start grilling you for information and poking at all the holes in your shitty resume and your tired and the coffee was kind of garbage and this is sort of the most Important thing you'll be doing all week and your entire life is hinging on this thirty minute conversation that they really could've done over the phone... I think you paint a really solid mix of stressful emotions down to a 'T' here, which absolutely isn't easy. And on top of that we get to finally see a little more about what's under the hood at this institute, and the mysterious and prestigious Dr. Reiland gets a face that's a lot less mysterious and prestigious than we were led to believe -- again, all of this stuff feels like an accurate reading of expectations vs reality; I really enjoyed it.

Sorry for the long ramble about interviews higher up, lol! Us searching for jobs is a bit of a subject that hits really close to home I feel -- thank you for tackling this in a really complicated way that made me have lots of Thoughts on it. Fingers crossed for Andrea here; although on some level I know that if she doesn't get this job the fic will sort of end, I'm still nervous and cheering for her!

 

[kintsugi]

hello, me again. chapters 3 and 4 here!

she was ready to return to the comfort of her home, call it a day and relax

okay i'm not saying you should do the oxford comma, but you should do the oxford comma

She was scrolling through the timeline of a man named Tobias Kedzierski, a timeline that was filled with photos of him and a young woman with pale orange hair; at the rocky beaches of Colm Strand, in the stands at an Aughrim Defenders rugby match, participating in an environmental protection rally on the steps of Parliament, sharing dinner at a Romatti restaurant and goofing off at home over a game of Pokémon: Battle Cards.

I love semicolons as much as the next but this is not their grammatical application here.
Although, hmmm, interesting threads of a backstory here!

Why don't we stop by my apartment before we leave, I've still got that extra jacket you got me for my birthday a couple years ago.

And ironically this comma is actually where you'd like to have a semicolon. I feel like these two were typos/you know the rules, but if you do want the full lecture on when to semicolon, let me know.

"Hmm! I'll have to think about how I'll properly compensate you."

oh no is this what i think it is

"You're on your own for your legs though, but those stockings do look pretty cozy..."

If they're going on a biology field trip, surely the concern about her not wearing pants isn't going to be the cold, but the potential exposure to ticks/insects/sharp plants/thorns/etc? I can excuse Andrea not knowing this, but Emily and Patrick absolutely know where they're going.

She didn't want to change her personality, but she realized that Patrick would be watching her closely, and vowed to be more tactful when she could.

"She worked at a place called The Lair, I'm betting she definitely can."

oh yeah this is definitely a fair arrangement

I'm not sure if this is intentional on your part, but Patrick's giving off some enormous toxic workplace red flags throughout this entire two-chapter bit. Kudos if it's intentional; if not, I can dissect further in detail why I think he's not really exhibiting good professionalism.

If I weren't so deeply in debt with my medical studies, I'd definitely look for different work.

It feels a little weird for Emily to be saying this? If Andrea's correct and Emily and Patrick are dating, then she doesn't need to repeat it again for his benefit. Aaaaand it feels a little much to dump on a potential new hire during secretly-the-interview-part-two?

"No, we don't... I could get used to this." she said

Period where you want a comma instead here.

"Hey! I hope that dress of yours isn't too delicate! The grass around here can get a little sharp sometimes."

*points vaguely up at previous note about pants*
Also, if they were planning on having her do a field test like this, they'd probably have warned her about attire -- sure, they didn't expect her to wear what she did, but most "standard" interview clothing/shoes wouldn't be proper for an expedition like this, and they'd want the candidate to know to dress appropriately.

"A Hopañero? It's so cute!"

Oh lit I forgot there were fakemon in this! Love the name and concept here; fire/grass needs to be a thing.

The Donphan pounded its padded foot into the ground, a universally understood signal that it was enraged and ready to attack.

I'm not sure if "padded" is the word you want here; also, in a lovely instance of show don't tell, if it's universally understood (which I'd agree, it is) I don't think you need to re-clarify that here.

Even worse, the Donphan's movements were becoming more and more unpredictable, bouncing between aiming for Pepper and Patrick at random.

It's your call for how drawn-out you want to make these things, but lines like this tend to abridge tension a lot -- it makes the battle feel a lot less like it's happening in real time and more like it's being retold.

He was skeptical of the plan. "You sure about this?"

I feel like you don't need to reiterate that he's skeptical here when he's literally questioning the plan in the next sentence.

So things are truly getting into gear now, aren't they? I remember the miltank investigation arc from the previous iteration of the story, so I'm curious to see what changes there are this time. As a concept this is a lot of fun -- vaguely slice-of-lifey with some older adults doing episodic biological detective work, with some neat fakemon thrown in.

It really sucks that Patrick has *any* say in hiring her; he's being ridiculously unprofessional with all the prying questions into her personal life. I'm not sure if you're writing him in that angle on purpose or if this is just a more cynical view of how jobs are supposed to work, but he's definitely setting up as a low-ish antagonist in my eyes lol. I'm still not sure if Dr. Reiland is working to hire only the weirdos or if Patrick is just supposed to be a shitty loose cannon here.

If they're biologists and they frequently do field work, surely they'd have more support pokemon on hand? Maybe a blissey/audino/healing pokemon for emergency field treatment, or a teleporter/psychic for communication (since they really don't seem to believe in phones/phone interviews), or something with Roar/just generally a high level. Emily's absolutely right; if Andrea hadn't done anything they would've been totally boned here, so it seems strange that a professional research institute would be so vastly underprepared for what seems like a normal-ish encounter with a wild pokemon.

Oh, speaking of normal-ish encounters -- aren't donphan/elephants primarily desert dwellers? iirc their dex entries are about how their ears cool them down in hot weather; seems strange that they'd be somewhere that was just noted for maybe not even having summer.

I think structure-wise, some of these chapters could stand to be combined a little -- chapter 3 is pretty sparse for events happening, whereas chapter 4 is pretty telegraphed, and chapter 5 is pretty straightforward too (will do full commentary on that/ch 6 later I think; it's getting late) -- I think you could maybe recut these three chapters into two chapters and not really lose much from a structural perspective.

I think your premise here is really creative though, and it definitely seems like this is the direction that you've been wanting to take the story in for a while -- people wandering the countryside trying to solve mini-mysteries. Your prose definitely feels a lot more excited in these sections, probably also because Andrea isn't just angsting about getting hired or not, but overall things flow together really well and have an excited air to them. Will catch up with the rest soon!