TEEN: Land of the Roses [abandoned]

[Deleted member 72389]

Wow, the latest chapter was really interesting and engaging. Andrea's fear of the noises made sense but I didn't understood why she went and shouted at that Pokémon. Hiding from it seems like a better idea. And poor Kimberley fainted, but I think that would happen to most people after seeing such a Pokémon.

Also, I couldn't recognize that Pokémon. Is it an already exiting one or did you made it up? Anyways, I am eager to find out more about this mysterious Pokémon.

Overall, it was a very solid and well-written chapter. And the interactions between Andrea and Kimberley were great! I am loving their friendship so far. Hoping to read more soon.

 

[Charles Legend]

So was that creature by any chance inspired by Buried Alive?

 

[Misfit Angel]

Andrea's fear of the noises made sense but I didn't understood why she went and shouted at that Pokémon. Hiding from it seems like a better idea.

She's book smart, but not exactly common-sense smart. She doesn't know what's out there in the world, but she has a pretty good idea from her biology studies. If it wasn't the wildlife, as was confirmed by both Kimberly and Patrick, surely it was some jerk kids pulling some sort of prank like she assumed. She'll learn a lesson from this encounter, no doubt.

Also, I couldn't recognize that Pokémon. Is it an already exiting one or did you made it up? Anyways, I am eager to find out more about this mysterious Pokémon

Completely custom. I don't have a specific name for it yet. I also don't know when it'll next show up, but perhaps I can have a little aside chapter where some more information about it is revealed.

Overall, it was a very solid and well-written chapter. And the interactions between Andrea and Kimberley were great! I am loving their friendship so far. Hoping to read more soon.

So was that creature by any chance inspired by Buried Alive?

Not specifically; I wasn't even aware of that! I'll have to give it a closer look soon.What I was inspired by, however, were the various necromantic constructs from D&D and other fantasy materials, the most specific being the bone golems. This isn't a picture perfect representation for what I had in mind, but it gets the point across very well.

All part of the aim of making this story more fantasy-oriented, despite its semi-futuristic setting. Strange happenings and sightings like this will pop up from time to time.

 

[Charles Legend]

Basically what Buried Alive is a creepypasta which was said to be a rotting corpse Red had to battle in the Pokémon Tower. Hum yeah I never played D&D thus I never heard of the bone golems, nevertheless it was still a bone chilling monster.

As for the name what about 'Necrοστό' (dead+bone) in greek. however that's just a suggestion.

 

[UselessBytes]

I'm fairly new to this story, but I'm about halfway caught up and so far I love it. Your writing style is beautiful and your characters feel extremely real. I'll save reviews on the story until I'm all the way caught up but I gotta ask: Ho do you do your map graphics?

 

[Misfit Angel]

but I gotta ask: Ho do you do your map graphics?

The old fashioned way: hand drawn in MSPaint.

 

[Beth Pavell]

Well, well, Land of the Roses is quite the fic in ascendant these days. I actually read the chapter a few days ago but I haven't really had the time to review till now.

I may have said it before, but action isn't your strong suit. On the whole, the action in the chapter was ok ... it did lack a certain tension to it. I don't know quite how tense it was supposed to be, given the way it ended up. One thing that confused me -

Whatever had hit her sailed straight through and left a precise, almost surgical cut about half an inch deep into her skin

I was thinking about saying something practical regarding all this. It must be owned that action isn't my strong suit either, so I'm reluctant to speak with the voice of authority on that. The best action I've read - and the best in terms of M rated action, come to that - would be Dan Abnett's Gaunt's Ghosts books. The man can't write an ending worth a damn, but in terms of crunchy, hard, fast and savage action he can't be beaten. The whole series is really too long for a non 40K fan to really look at, but if you like I could recommend one or two of the best as a kind of reference.

The other thing I was thinking about I'm rather ambivalent on. It seems that there's been almost a scientific mystery of the day, with each chapter, and as far as I recall they don't really seem to go anywhere. Thematically you can't really say it's inappropriate, but it is leaving a lot of loose ends. If I were to nail my colours to the mast I think I'd say the key problem is an over reliance on the R-Kit. It occurred to me that I can't actually remember what Andrea's university schooling entailed - aside from her very generalised speculations it could almost be anyone doing her job, because the information she collects tends to be a case of scanning it with the R-Kit. I wonder whether you could adapt something from the habits of the Victorian gentlemen naturalists

 

[Misfit Angel]

I may have said it before, but action isn't your strong suit. On the whole, the action in the chapter was ok ... it did lack a certain tension to it. I don't know quite how tense it was supposed to be, given the way it ended up.

It was supposed to be more suspenseful than tense, though I suppose those two are one in the same at the end of the day. Is there anything that could be improved, so that I can learn for the next time?

One thing that confused me -

Probably a bit of bad description there. Basically, a small arrowhead-like projectile had cut straight through her thigh and exited without slowing down. It was so fast and the projectile so sharp that the cut appeared to be made by a surgeon rather than a wild animal's jagged claw. I'll look at cleaning that sentence up.

The other thing I was thinking about I'm rather ambivalent on. It seems that there's been almost a scientific mystery of the day, with each chapter, and as far as I recall they don't really seem to go anywhere. Thematically you can't really say it's inappropriate, but it is leaving a lot of loose ends.

I suppose that's a consequence of reporting back one's findings without actually working on the data themselves. An explanation for the fungal creep seen in the first arc is coming soon, at least. The language on the stone pillar at the peace garden will probably stay a mystery for much, much longer. As far as what happened with Tamara, the first rumblings of that will be revealed either in the next chapter, or the one after.

If I were to nail my colours to the mast I think I'd say the key problem is an over reliance on the R-Kit. It occurred to me that I can't actually remember what Andrea's university schooling entailed - aside from her very generalised speculations it could almost be anyone doing her job, because the information she collects tends to be a case of scanning it with the R-Kit.

I've actually noticed this a bit myself as I've been writing the next arc. I'm trying something where I write the entire arc both ways, with and without the aid of the R-Kit, and seeing which flows more naturally. I can't say for certain which one already is feeling more natural, and they're both presenting problems of their own that the other solves.

Unfortunately, the subject matter of the next arc isn't exactly Andrea's strong suit as a biologist, so she won't be able to fall back on prior knowledge at all. I don't know how I'll get around that.

I wonder whether you could adapt something from the habits of the Victorian gentlemen naturalists

Now this has me curious. I'm quite unfamiliar with how research was done in ye olden times, but it's something that could probably help with the upcoming chapters. Are there any resources or books you could recommend I have a look at for further details?

 

[Beth Pavell]

Now this has me curious. I'm quite unfamiliar with how research was done in ye olden times, but it's something that could probably help with the upcoming chapters. Are there any resources or books you could recommend I have a look at for further details?

I can't think of any in particular, I'm afraid, which is a nuisance. A few thoughts off the top of my head, however:

• These type of naturalists were often hobbyists, essentially, men of independent means who could afford to spend a lot of time dabbling in science. They often had the kind of enquiring mind and methodical nature that science is built upon, conducting observations of the natural world in much the same way an amateur astronomer studies the stars, I suppose.
• Victorians loved to collect things. I seem to recall that one brief craze was for collecting sea anemones, of all things. The yen for obsessively collecting and cataloguing large numbers of specimens has enriched a lot of modern collections, especially when every now and again a long-lost collection reappears.
• Scraps and extracts I've got in various books suggest to me that these men (You know I keep saying men automatically but I'll bet there were bright women who took an interest as well. Wasn't the person who discovered ichthyosaurus a woman?) also had a stock of folk wisdom that they built upon as well. As I recall Edward Jenner's invention of the vaccine was more accurately proof that folk wisdom worked. Perhaps that's something Andrea could learn to take notice of (Even modern naturalists would do well to pay attention to the locals if they're to go looking for elusive animals.

The point is, often these people didn't have a lot of equipment or necessarily a huge stock of texts, but their contribution to science was based on careful observation and attention to detail as they collected specimens, made notes, drawings and paintings etc

Now pay me back and review The Long Walk - joking!

 

[Misfit Angel]

Land of the Roses
Chapter 16: Fact and Fiction
With special thanks to Beth Pavell for giving me a few ideas

Thmp. Thmp. Thmp.

Juliano's slow, rhythmic heartbeat was all that Kimberly could hear as she rested her head against his chest. The sound had been constant for nearly six hours. Such a repetitive sound would drive most people mad, but it was the only thing keeping her sane. It distracted her from her thoughts, from the horrible sights and sounds of the previous night. Every time she closed her eyes, even briefly, she saw it: the eldritch, unexplainable creature, shambling out of the darkness and fixing its piercing, hollow eyes on her.

Thmp. Thmp. Thmp.

She had been trying for hours to find a way to calm herself down. Her usual method of dealing with traumatic events was to meditate, but her mind was too foggy and too fatigued. She tried to steady her erratic breathing, but it was much too difficult with what she had seen. The only thing that brought her peace were the dancing flames in the dying campfire and Juliano's steady heartbeat.

Thmp. Thmp. Thmp.

There was movement from the other side of the camp: Andrea silently stirred in her sleep. With a stretch, a yawn and a groan, she struggled to push herself up off of the ground. She shielded her eyes from the light of the rising sun as she looked around. The first thing she did was rummage through her purse for her phone and check the time: 7:17 AM.

"Morning," Kimberly said.

Andrea looked across the camp. "How are you feeling? You don't look so great."

She lifted her head off of Juliano's chest. "You just answered your own question." she quietly said.

Andrea nodded. "How'd you sleep?"

She rested her head back on Juliano and searched for his heartbeat. "I didn't. I couldn't."

"Yeah, I didn't sleep very well, either..." Andrea said as she leaned up against a nearby tree.

"How is your leg?" she asked.

Andrea rolled the hem of her dress upward and studied the bandage that was wrapped around her leg. It was now a deep burgundy in color and stiff as a board, but at least it was dry. She stood up and put her weight on the leg; it was nearly enough to send her crashing to the ground in agony, but she held the pain inside. "I'm fine to walk, that's what matters." she strained.

"No, you're clearly not."

"You're right, I'm not... but I'm not staying here, I'm not waiting for a rescue. There could be more of those... things out there."

"Juliano can carry you, if you need."

Andrea ignored the offer and reached into her backpack. She grabbed a small notebook and a pen, then began the agonizing journey across the camp towards the remains of the strange creature from the previous night. With some sunlight, she could get a better look at it, but just the sight of it sent chills down her spine. "What are you..." she whispered to herself as she covered her nose. She knelt down so that she could closely inspect it.

"Do you have any idea of what it is?" Kimberly called out.

She poked at the remains of the creature with her pen, pushing the bones about. "No. Never seen anything like it, or even heard of anything like it." she answered. She took down some basic notes about the creature, or at least what little was left of it: size, body structure and the way it moved the previous night. "My best educated guess?" she started, then paused to think. She shook her head. "Nevermind. I've got nothing."

Kimberly tapped on Juliano's chest and looked up at him. "Come, Juliano, let's get up."

Juliano helped his fragile and shaky master to her feet, taking special care to make sure that she was capable of walking on her own. He knew that she was exhausted not just from the previous night, but from the full day of hiking beforehand. He offered his arms out to carry her, but she shook her head and declined. Instead, all she did was kick some dirt onto the dying embers of the campfire.

"Are you ready to leave?" she called out.

"Not yet, I need to document this thing," she answered as she wrote down some more information.

"Document?"

She began a very rough and poorly done drawing of the creature's 'head'. "My colleagues are going to want to hear about it. They probably won't believe me... hell, I don't believe it, and I saw the damn thing. But if someone back at the lab wants to investigate further, it won't hurt to give them as much information as I can."

"It won't take long, will it? This place is making me feel uneasy..."

"Give me ten more minutes, maybe?" she asked, making a rough estimate based purely on nothing.

"Do hurry, friend..." Kimberly said before putting as much distance as she could between herself and the battered remains of the creature.

Several moments passed by as she tried to draw the creature from memory. It was clear that she wasn't an artist by any stretch of the definition; what appeared in her notebook looked very little like the creature as it truly was. The proportions were wrong, the overall body shape was misaligned, and her skills didn't allow for any finer details. She grew frustrated with what she saw and flipped her notebook closed.

"Now... to find someone who will believe me."

- - - - -​

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, May 17th, 9:06 AM

'Good god, what the hell are these pictures you sent me? Looks like a mangled corpse!'
​

Fr: Andrea Dennison, May 17th, 9:07 AM

'no idea. never heard of or seen anything like it, was hoping you might know'
​

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, May 17th, 9:07 AM

'I couldn't say. I don't recognize that bone structure. Why are you sending me pictures of a long dead Pokémon anyways?'
​

Fr: Andrea Dennison, May 17th, 9:09 AM

'because that thing attacked us last night and i want to know what it is!'
​

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, May 17th, 9:12 AM

'Attacked you? What the fuck are you talking about?'
​

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, May 17th, 9:12 AM

'You're not seriously suggesting the walking dead attacked you, are you?'
​

Fr: Andrea Dennison, May 17th, 9:13 AM

'im having trouble believing it too'
​

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, May 17th, 9:14 AM

'It's probably because you're making it up. There's never been any credible documentation of the dead coming back to life, and there never will be.'
​

Fr: Andrea Dennison, May 17th, 9:15 AM

'so youre saying you dont believe me?'
​

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, May 17th, 9:17 AM

'Look, I get it. You're new, you're nervous, you want to prove yourself by discovering something interesting. That's cool. But... come on, you have to admit, it's a hard thing to believe.'
​

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, May 17th, 9:17 AM

'Until I physically see this thing walking around, I don't buy your story.'
​

She grumbled as she read the message, but she honestly wasn't surprised by his reaction. She had hoped that as a man of science, he would keep an open mind, but he was right: a walking corpse was definitely difficult to believe. However, rather than continue trying to convince him, she turned to someone else:

Fr: Andrea Dennison, May 17th, 9:19 AM

'morning, dr reiland! have you had a chance to look over what I sent you?'
​

A few minutes went by as she patiently awaited a response from her boss. Much to her shock, the shrill tone of her phone ringing pierced through the quiet forest; the caller ID indicated that it was Dr. Reiland.

"Morning," she answered.

"Morning. I hope that it's not a bad time to talk. These arthritic fingers of mine... they don't get along with text messages."

"Oh, no! It's not a problem at all! I'm actually happy to talk... my friend here isn't very sociable this morning."

"Hmm. To answer your earlier question, yes, I did get a look at the photos you sent me. I'm not quite sure what to make of it, so perhaps you could run me through what you found?"

"This is going to sound really hard to believe, but..."

"Ooooh, I love conversations that begin this way!"

The apparent enthusiasm of her boss put her at ease. "Umm, well. I'm not sure that makes it any easier to explain what happened." she started. "Are you aware of any strange circumstances in the Spritewood, by any chance?"

"That's what you're investigating, isn't it? Doranshire is in the heart of the Spritewood." Dr. Reiland answered. "I have heard of strange things over the years, yes. Livestock from local farms going missing, trees suffering from unexplained blights, and of course the recent reports of strange happenings in town. What does this have to do with that... unsightly corpse you sent photos of?"

"First, do you have any idea of what it was?" she asked.

"No. I don't recognize the anatomical structure at all, and the placement of specific bones is certainly... unnatural, to say the least."

"I thought that myself... that's not the bizarre part, though."

"Oh?"

For a brief moment, she was hesitant to explain further, but realized that she had already cornered herself into doing so. "That creature... it attacked us."

"Attacked you?" Dr. Reiland asked. There was a short pause, as if she were studying the photos more closely. "That thing?"

She chuckled nervously. "You don't believe me, do you..."

Dr. Reiland let out a long and thoughtful breath. "Pardon me if I'm a little skeptical... There have been stories over the years..." she started. "Mostly superstitious folk tales from other parts of the world, mind you."

"So... you don't believe me."

"I wouldn't go that far. Do you remember in the early years of your studies, you touched on taxonomy? Specifically the kingdom structure?"

She nodded. "Yes. Bacteria, protista, fungi, plantae and animalia."

"I noticed that you left out spiritae."

"Well, the debate still continues on that one..."

"It does. Did any of your professors discuss it?"

"Professor Burke, and he was very brief about it."

"Not much is known about these mysterious creatures, other than they don't quite fit the description of animals and plants. They're so rare and difficult to study! In fact, a specific species comes to mind, Duskull. We don't know what exactly a Duskull is since one has never been studied closely before. This has led to the theory that it is some sort of... well, a ghost! The reanimated remains of a deceased creature. Now, it's very likely that this theory is erroneous, but there's also the slim chance that it's not."

"That sounds insane, but it also sounds like the creature I encountered last night," she said. "I wish I had an explanation."

"Searching for an explanation is why we do what we do. The world is a large and mysterious place, Ms. Dennison, and there is still very, very much to learn about it. We in the scientific community discover new things every week, sometimes every day. In fact, just last week, you and Patrick may have discovered a previously undocumented species of Pokémon. Of course, we might never know if you did, since you two... nevermind that!"

"Sorry about that. That was mostly Patrick's decision."

"Back to the matter at hand, what do you mean when you say this creature attacked you? How so?"

"Honestly, it was kind of a blur," she explained. "It was over so quick, and I was cowering behind a tree the whole time. Kimberly here didn't see anything, either. All I know is that it has some sort of ranged attack, because it hit me before I could even see it."

There was an audible gasp on the other end of the line. "Hit you? Are you okay?"

"It's nothing," she said as she rubbed her hand over the wound on her leg. "Just a minor cut on my leg. I'll visit a doctor when I get to town."

"If you say so. I would say you're quite fortunate that this thing didn't get in close. Those... 'arms'... They look... Well, I'll assume you're familiar with the Scyther species and its famously sharp bladed arms."

"Yeah..."

"Anything else about how this creature behaved that you can shed some light on?"

She shook her head. "I didn't see much. As I said, I was hiding the entire time."

"If what you say about this creature is true, I don't blame you! I'd have probably run from it, myself... Well, if I was capable of running, that is! What about the noises it made, how it moved? Anything out of the ordinary will be helpful."

"I have some notes that I took down, I'll get them to you as soon as I can. In fact, hold on." She lowered her phone and called out to Kimberly, "Hey, is it okay if we stop for a sec?"

Kimberly turned around. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I just need to get something from my backpack."

Kimberly nodded. "Let her down softly, Juliano."

Despite the assurances to Dr. Reiland that the wound on her leg was 'nothing', the reality was different; Juliano had been carrying her for nearly two hours, as the pain was simply too much to fight through. She received a fresh reminder of that pain as she was let down to the ground, and she took care to mute her groans of agony.

She dropped her backpack to the ground, opened it and grabbed her notebook. She flipped to the page that detailed her encounter with the strange creature and activated the camera feature on her phone. "I can't promise it'll be any good, but I'll send you a photo of my notes for now. Hopefully you can read my awful writing."

Dr. Reiland let out a chuckle.

With the page in focus, she snapped the photo and immediately sent it to the doctor. "There, it should be in your e-mail. Give it a look when you have the time." She put her notebook back into her backpack and picked it up, then motioned upwards towards Juliano. "I'm ready." she whispered. Juliano picked her up effortlessly and the group resumed their travels.

Dr. Reiland was silent for a moment before she finally said, "Mmm! A full page of notes!"

"I wrote down everything I could recall. Some of it might be a bit speculative, I admit..."

"I knew that assigning you to Doranshire would be a good idea," the doctor said. "Your story, while fascinating and unbelievable, intrigues me. I'll see if I can find any other information others may have on it."

"You're serious?" she asked. "I sent these findings to Patrick, too, and he immediately dismissed me as a crackpot."

"I don't blame him. He's very grounded in reality, and stubborn as a mule to boot. Years of experience, experience he doesn't quite have yet, have taught me to be open minded, even with the unbelievable. That's what science is, after all: finding ways to prove or disprove that which we can not believe." Doctor Reiland explained. "Anyways! If there's nothing else, I'll get started on this."

"There is something else, actually. I... have a physical sample, as well."

"A physical sample, you say?"

"I grabbed a bone fragment off of the creature."

"Eww!" the doctor shouted. "I mean, that's good, but... eww!"

Andrea laughed.

"I imagine you don't want to be carrying that thing around for too long. As soon as you reach Doranshire, visit the Pokécenter. I'll take it off your hands and send it to the medical lab for analysis."

"Understood."

"Good luck out there, Ms. Dennison, and be careful. There may actually be something to these wild stories coming out of Doranshire. It would certainly explain my colleague's interest..."

The warning encouraged her to ask, "Are you sure I'm up for it, then?"

"While the absence of Ms. Dahl will certainly hinder you, I believe in you. That's why I assigned you to this task."

While the words were nice to hear, she didn't believe them. She recalled what was said about her the previous day at the Oak of Ages, about how her assignment to Doranshire was just another test of her abilities. To her, it was pointless to test abilities that were already supposedly believed in.

"Anywho, let me know when you reach Doranshire! I'll speak to you later."

"Will do. Talk to you later." she said as she hung up. "Well, at least someone believes this crazy story of ours."

Kimberly let out a long sigh. "That does not make me feel better about it."

"I didn't think it would," she replied. "I'm sorry for putting you through this. I shouldn't have pressured you--"

"You didn't pressure me, I wanted to come along. Besides, it's a good thing that I did. What if Juliano wasn't here to protect you?"

She looked up and studied Juliano as he continued to carry her through the forest. She realized that Kimberly was right; Juliano was the only reason that she was still alive.

"I'd feel much, much worse than I do right now if I found out that you never made it to Doranshire."

"I suppose I should thank you, then."

Kimberly stopped in her tracks and took a deep breath to calm herself. "Perhaps we can discuss this later? I don't feel like talking right now."

 

[Beth Pavell]

Ha ha ha, I'm still first. I reckon there's enough this time for half the usual format

Setting
Nice use of taxonomic ranks there. I don't know if it was deliberate, but the acknowledgement that taxonomy is not without its arguments is particularly true. I'd agree that this is probably how scientifically-minded people would try to approach Ghost-types. Unlike lower-case ghosts there's solid evidence that Ghost-types do exist, but that's no reason to assume what they are is at all clear

Story
It suddenly occurs to me that I'm not sure what I can say regarding pacing. Each chapter appears to be relatively short - I'm guessing about 3,000 words, give or take - so I suppose it's clipping along ok. I think perhaps I find myself wishing there was a bit more to really read in each given chapter. The chapters are fairly stubbornly revolving around one event with a bit of context and denouement. I suppose as a result there's not always a lot of depth to be had.

Characters
I appreciate some diversity in the scientists here. Patrick - not unlike Andrea, I suppose - basing his reactions on what the world ought to be like; Dr. Reiland taking a truer scientific approach of waiting to see the evidence before she makes up her mind

 

[Misfit Angel]

Nice use of taxonomic ranks there. I don't know if it was deliberate, but the acknowledgement that taxonomy is not without its arguments is particularly true. I'd agree that this is probably how scientifically-minded people would try to approach Ghost-types. Unlike lower-case ghosts there's solid evidence that Ghost-types do exist, but that's no reason to assume what they are is at all clear

I thought specifically of you when writing that little exchange!

It suddenly occurs to me that I'm not sure what I can say regarding pacing. Each chapter appears to be relatively short - I'm guessing about 3,000 words, give or take - so I suppose it's clipping along ok. I think perhaps I find myself wishing there was a bit more to really read in each given chapter. The chapters are fairly stubbornly revolving around one event with a bit of context and denouement. I suppose as a result there's not always a lot of depth to be had.

Yeah, 3k is about a minimum I strive for, and sometimes I don't even make that. For weeks now, I've been worried that the chapters have been too long, but I see clearly now that this is not the case. I've been reviewing some old chapters of Storm Island for some inspiration on how I described things and so many of them are 4k words at a minimum and 350+ lines in my editor (LotR rarely breaks 270). I'll definitely be lengthening them in the future, and I might even revise a few that are already out so that the jump in length isn't so obvious.

As far as the chapters revolving around one event, that may be a consequence of me watching so much episodic television over the past few months. That said, the next chapter should have a bit of a twist where one chain of events leads to another. I don't know how much that'll satisfy that tickle you're feeling for more content in a single sitting, so I'll look to reader guidance to see if I'm hitting it.

Speaking of, and I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I kind of did that in general with the past three chapters, which I felt ran together fairly well as a three part mini-series; in the first chapter, I was building up towards an encounter with an Eevee (which I legitimately planned to do, but decided against), then all that shit with the creepy monster happened, which itself led to the theories in the final bit. It was kinda fun to write, I might to more little mini-arcs like that in the future.

I appreciate some diversity in the scientists here. Patrick - not unlike Andrea, I suppose - basing his reactions on what the world ought to be like; Dr. Reiland taking a truer scientific approach of waiting to see the evidence before she makes up her mind

 

[Beth Pavell]

I thought specifically of you when writing that little exchange!

Aren't you sweet

In regards to the pacing, I mean with Storm Island I ended up reading it at least twice start-to-finish for Awards judging, which is inevitably a different sort of experience to following a story serially, with a few thousand words broken up by several week's wait

 

[Misfit Angel]

Land of the Roses
Chapter 17: A Quiet Village

"Thank the goddess..."

Kimberly, with Juliano and Andrea lagging shortly behind, passed by a sign that welcomed them to the village of Doranshire, population 276. They had finally made it, and just in time; the retreating light from the setting sun had caused the automated lighting along the road to flicker on, a welcoming sight in the growing darkness. Before long, the scant glow of the outdated street lamps had given way to the bright lights of the village's heart, Lord's Square. For the first time in nearly twenty four hours, they felt at peace.

At a glance, Doranshire seemed just like any other small town; brick and mortar buildings, clean streets, chatty locals and the sweet scent of handmade success. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. No strange sights, no strange sounds, nothing to indicate that any of the bizarre reports over the past few weeks were true. If anything, the only strange sight in the town was the injured young woman being carried by a Blastoise.

Brief discussions with the locals revealed two things: Doranshire lacked both a proper hotel and a proper doctor, the two things the girls needed the most at the moment.

Andrea was stumped. "So what do we do know?"

"The last time I was here, a lovely elderly couple ran a bed and breakfast. I wonder if they're still around?" Kimberly suggested.

"Do you remember where they were?"

"I do. Come, Juliano, let's take her there."

- - - - -​

The television in the lounge was tuned to one of the country's many 24 hour news networks, the Crown News Network specifically. The major headline of the night focused on the disappearance of Tamara Dahl, Andrea's intended travel partner; furious debate erupted between a panel of 'experts' as they wildly speculated about what had happened to her, and what her disappearance might mean for the once safe atmosphere the Kingdom of Lanark had been known for. The host had difficulty controlling the discussion and requested a commercial break.

"It's all panel shows, now..." an elderly man said as he shook his head. "What happened to the simple days when a single anchor reported on the news? No opinions, no speculation... just... news."

"What happened to the simple days when you didn't watch this crap?" an equally elderly lady quipped as she focused on a crossword puzzle in front of her.

He chuckled. "That's a very good question." As he raised the remote to turn the TV off, the soothing chime of the doorbell bounced throughout the tiny house. "I'll get it."

The elderly man grabbed a cane from beside his chair and pushed his way to his feet. He slowly made his way from the cozy and cramped lounge, down the narrow hallway and through the heavenly-smelling kitchen to the door. He opened the door and was greeted by the sight of two young women who had just turned around to leave. "Ah!" he called out, hoping to grab their attention again. "Good evening! Is there something I can help you with?"

Kimberly turned around. "Yes, Mr... Holdt, was it?"

His face lit up. "Ah! You know my name!"

"Yes! I visited this town sometime last year and stayed with you. Do you and your wife still operate your bed and breakfast?"

"Till the day I die," he said. He opened the door further and motioned for the two to enter. "Nadine, my dear! We have guests!" He wandered over to the stove and took the top off of the still-warm pot of vegetable stew, then reached for two bowls. "Tell me, what is your name, young one?"

"Kimberly Fairbrooke," she said. She pointed to Andrea. "And this is my friend, Andrea Dennison."

"I have many guests, so unfortunately I don't quite remember you. I'm honored that you remembered little ol' me, however!" He put the two bowls of vegetable stew on the table and offered the girls a seat. "If you're looking for lodgings, you'll have to share a room. My son is currently renovating one of our two guest rooms and it's not quite ready for use."

She turned to Andrea. "Sharing a room, huh? That won't be a problem, will it?"

"I don't see why it would be."

The three took their seats at the table and began to negotiate payment. Mrs. Holdt made a brief appearance, as if to check to see that her husband was actually talking about business, then disappeared into the lounge again when a few coins slid across the table.

"So, what brings you two to town? Just passing through, or do you have business here?"

"I'm passing through, yes," Kimberly answered.

"Work," Andrea added.

Mr. Holdt's left eyebrow shot up and nearly popped off his head. "Oh really? What are you doing, if you don't mind my asking? It's been awhile since an outsider came to town simply to work."

Andrea looked over at Kimberly, then back down at her vegetable stew. "I'm here to investigate some of the strange things that have been reported in town."

"An outside investigator... ah, yes... It's good that you're here. The village council isn't taking what's happening as seriously as they should."

She shrugged. "It seems that you do... What do you know about these reports?"

"There's a lot to talk about. Anything specific you're interested in?"

She reached into her backpack and grabbed a notebook and a pen. She had compiled a list of subjects she'd read about and started from the top. "I read an article about an elderly lady who claimed that a demon was trying to enter her house. Sound familiar?"

"Yes, actually. That would be Mrs. Miggins." he said before making a spiral motion with his fingers at the side of his head. "That lady... she's certified nuts, if you ask me. She's been making claims like that for nearly twenty years, after her husband passed. Most people have learned to tune her out."

She began to jot down some basic notes. "Where does she live? Even if she is crazy, it might be worth my time to talk to her."

"I would not waste your time with her. But if you insist, you'll find her house on Whetstone Lane. You'll know which one it is when you find it. It's choked by vines, the stone walls are crumbling and there's a giant willow tree looming over it."

"Whetstone... Willow tree..." she muttered as she continued her notes. "Got it, thank you."

"You take care around her, you hear? She's been... known to lash out at people, even get physical from time to time. She's a frail, old flower, so you could probably handle her with ease, but..."

She nonchalantly dismissed the warning. "I'll keep that in mind."

"I'm serious, lassie."

She looked over at Kimberly for a brief moment, then returned to the next item on her list. "I also read something about a ghost walking up and down Mill Street?"

"I've heard of it, but I haven't seen it myself," he said. "Supposedly it's the spirit of the old mill owner, people say he's wearing a tuxedo and has a stovepipe hat."

"Anything else?"

He silently shook his head.

She took down some more notes and nodded. "I already know to look at the school..." she muttered. "Oh yeah, how about those lights in the forest west of here? Do you have any idea of what those are?"

"No idea. Whatever they are, they come and go peacefully, and they're rarely seen in town." He leaned back in his chair and looked toward the ceiling, as if he was searching the depths of his memory. "We had a talented young man with a mind for science who lived in this town a few years back, those orbs were his passion. His life, even. He spent days, sometimes weeks camped out in the forest, trying to figure out what they were. Don't think he ever figured it out."

"Had? Is he not here anymore?"

He shook his head. "He packed up and left about three years ago. Said something about heading home and joining his brothers and sisters. Far as I knew, he didn't have any family, but..." he shrugged. "Maybe he did. I didn't know him closely."

"What was his name? I'll see if I can track him down."

"I don't think he's even alive anymore, honestly. When he left, he said he was heading for Verdant Vale. That was just a couple months before... well... you know."

"Oh, I see..." she said as a somber tone enveloped the room. She paused for a moment before continuing, "I'll take his name anyways, just in case. He might not have been there at the time."

"William Selkirk. If he is still alive, you'll have trouble finding him. That boy was from up north. Common family name."

She grumbled quietly as she took note of the name. "Figures."

"Anything else you want to ask about?"

"I also read something about burlap dolls?"

Mr. Holdt dismissed the idea readily. "Oh, that's just the kids. Every year in the spring, Mrs. Pashka, the second grade teacher, has her students make them and decorate the town with them. They're some sort of cultural icon from her homeland."

She nodded. "Doesn't sound all that strange then. But the news article I read mentioned that the dolls are usually mutilated."

"Again, probably the kids. They aren't taught manners these days."

She laughed. "That's definitely true." She was hesitant to ask about it, but pushed herself to. "Have you seen any strange creatures in the forest?"

Mr. Holdt shook his head. "I haven't left the village in nearly a decade. There's nothing for me out in that forest, I'm afraid there's nothing I can say about it."

"Fair enough..."

A knocking sound rang out from behind them; Mr. Holdt's wife was stood in the doorway leading into the lounge. "I don't mean to interrupt, Len, but it's nearly midnight. Don't forget, you have a gathering to attend in the morning!"

He grumbled and shook his fist playfully. "Thank you, dear! She's right, I do need to get to bed. I do hope you got the information you were looking for, Ms. Dennison."

"You've been very helpful, thank you."

"Good. Now, let's show you two to your room!"

All four headed up the stairs. Mrs. Holdt broke away from the group and entered the master bedroom, while Mr. Holdt led the two down the hallway towards the room they'd be staying in for the night. As he opened the door, they got a feeling for just how small the room was; the room was barely wide enough for two people standing shoulder to shoulder, a fact amplified by the furniture that was pushed against the walls. The room was equipped with everything they would need: a table to work from, a vanity, a pair of padded wooden chairs and a window view of the village below.

However, one thing stood out: there didn't appear to be a bed anywhere in the room, let alone two of them. Andrea was dismayed by what she saw, but her worries faded somewhat as Kimberly approached the back wall; with a tug of the curtain that hung from the wall, she revealed a small bed, set in its own cozy little alcove.

"Just as comfortable as I remember it!" Kimberly said with a smile on her face.

"If you two need anything, let me know," Mr. Holdt said. "Good night."

"Rest well, and have fun at your gathering in the morning!" she called out as Mr. Holdt left. She sat down on the bed and took her heeled sandals off, then leaned backwards and let out a long groan of relief. The soft and welcoming allure of the bed, coupled with the fact that she had just completed a fourteen hour hike, nearly put her to sleep right then and there.

Andrea, on the other hand, approached the table and took a seat, groaning in pain as she did so. As much as she tried to hide it, the wound on her leg worried her; it had been a roller coaster of pain ever since she'd gotten it, and at that point it had just crested a large hill. She tried to make the pain go away by rubbing at it briefly, but it didn't work, and she began to accept that the pain would be a constant throughout the night, a constant she'd have to live with. She motioned towards the bed. "You mind handing me one of those pillows?"

Kimberly grabbed the largest pillow, then handed it over. She watched the entire scene unfold as Andrea first struggled to put the pillow between her and the chair, then close her eyes and fidget endlessly as she searched for a comfortable position. "You're not going to sleep like that, are you?"

Andrea opened her eyes and looked up. "I'm going to try."

She patted the spot on the bed next to her. "There is a bed, you know."

Andrea dismissed the notion and closed her eyes again. "You already claimed it, you can have it."

"I don't remember claiming anything, and I don't mind sharing."

"Share? Look at how tiny that thing is!" Andrea answered. "Besides, it'd be a little weird, I guess."

"Weird? Why would it be weird?" she asked with genuine curiosity. "Besides, if anyone needs a bed tonight, it's you. I'm not letting a friend suffer while I benefit. I wouldn't even let a stranger suffer."

Andrea opened her eyes and glared at Kimberly, studying her. She thought it was out of the ordinary for a person she had only just met to be so open and so friendly with a stranger and wondered if she might have some sort of ulterior motive. Dr. Reiland's warning of finding someone trustworthy to travel with whispered in the back of her mind; she studied her body language and her facial expressions, but she couldn't find anything untrustworthy about her, just strange. Nothing sinister, no ulterior motives, just someone who cared perhaps a little too much. "If you insist."

"It's no trouble!"

With great pain, she stood back up and silently sauntered across the room towards the bed. She didn't know why, but the whole situation felt incredibly awkward to her, to the point that she wanted to excuse herself from the room. But at the same time, she was tired and just wanted to get some sleep. She sat down on the bed, paused for a moment to appreciate the cloud-like softness, then began the laborious process of unbuckling the dozen or so belts that strapped her boots to her feet. "No funny business, you hear?"

"Funny business?" Kimberly asked, curious of what her friend meant. A few seconds later, it dawned on her. "Oh! No! Don't worry, it's nothing like that. I just want you to wake up well rested. From the sound of things, you have a big day tomorrow."

With her boots removed, she leaned back onto the bed and rested her head on one of the pillows, then began her search for a comfortable position, preferably one that faced away from her friend. "I don't know if I'll be doing anything tomorrow besides getting this cut looked at, honestly. If I even can. How does a town like this not have a practicing doctor? What happens if people get sick, do they just ride it out or die?"

Kimberly giggled. "No, silly! I'll take you to the Pokécenter in the morning, they'll take care of you."

She turned to look at Kimberly, a look of bemusement on her face. "Pokécenter? Look, I'm not--"

"It's not as odd as it sounds! While it's true that they specialize in caring for Pokémon, the nurses who work at the Pokécenters across the country are also trained to handle human patients as well. If the injuries aren't too severe, that is."

She turned away once again and sighed. "That does make sense... And I guess I have to go there to deliver something to Dr. Reiland, anyways."

There was a long pause before Kimberly asked, "I suppose I see now why you were so interested in documenting that creature this morning."

"Hmm?"

"It never crossed my mind to think of why you were coming to this village, but now I know. I had assumed your business here was something... normal!"

"I probably should have told you, shouldn't I... Sorry."

"On the contrary, I should have asked. I blindly agreed to whatever it was you were doing, that was very careless of me." She waited patiently for a response, but one never came. "If you don't mind, I'd like to help you with your work tomorrow."

"What is with this girl? Why does she insist on being a part of everything I do?" Andrea thought.

"Andrea?"

"Huh? Oh, uh... I dunno. An extra pair of hands would be useful, but... Look, before we get ahead of ourselves, let's get to bed, okay? I'm exhausted, and I'm sure you are, too."

 

[Beth Pavell]

I'm still first with this one, so there.

The dialogue's a little better with this one. Your minor characters tend to slip into a kind of high fantasy RPG voice sometimes; the B+B couple sound more natural than usual in that regard.

I'm half wondering why you decided to call this an interlude and not a chapter proper, because in terms of the plot content it does very much the same job. I think it's a bit shorter than the usual chapters, though not by much if my estimate is worth anything.

"Funny business?" Kimberly asked

Kimdrea OTP. Because I can't think of an ironically funny ship name to make this joke

 

[Misfit Angel]

I'm half wondering why you decided to call this an interlude and not a chapter proper, because in terms of the plot content it does very much the same job.

What would be a better term? I'm using it in the theatre sense: "something performed during a theater intermission". The idea behind these interludes is to be a bridge between the previous arc and the next arc, even if there's relevant plot in them. Maybe I should just drop the whole interlude thing together, but the first two don't really fit thematically into the surrounding arcs.

I think it's a bit shorter than the usual chapters, though not by much if my estimate is worth anything.

This chapter and the next one were originally going to be combined, but combined, they were nearing 6k words and I wasn't even finished.

Kimdrea OTP. Because I can't think of an ironically funny ship name to make this joke

Could always go with good ol' Stormshipping, even if it no longer applies.

 

[Beth Pavell]

What would be a better term?

Well, I'm being more picky than technical, I suppose. I probably would have simply made it Chapter Seventeen, on the basis that it's not a B plot, it's not at all a deviation from the main plot - if anything, actually, the plot points are denser here than usual. That it's been split from Seventeen proper explains a lot in that regard

Could always go with good ol' Stormshipping

Celticfringeshipping Poshgothshipping yeah, I'm not at all good at this game

 

[Misfit Angel]

Author's note: From this point forward, chapters will be a bit longer than usual. I wasn't satisfied with their length compared to the chapters I've written for other projects. Hopefully it's not an inconvenience.

Land of the Roses
Chapter 18: Sickbay

Inside the Doranshire Pokécenter sat the only staff member on duty, a young nurse with ornately curled and vibrant, shoulder-length red hair. She was lost in the moment; most of her attention was focused on filing her nails while the radio blasted the most popular song to hit the airwaves in recent weeks, Fire:

♫ Turn the radio up.
Turn the lights down.
Curtains drawn, the game is on!
'Cause she's on fire! (Fire!)
Yeah she's on fire! (Fire!) ♫

♫ Back in action, without distraction!
She gonna-- ♫

The sound of the front door opening ended the fun and prompted her to shut the radio off. She cleared her throat nervously. "Welcome to our Pokécenter! Is there something I can help with?" She watched as Kimberly struggled to help Andrea over towards the desk. The scene was alarming and she instinctively pointed towards the chairs in the waiting area and rushed over. "Oh dear, what happened?!"

"A mishap on the road a couple days ago," Andrea answered, masking her pain as best she could. "I got hit in the leg by something."

"Lemme see," the nurse ordered as she rolled up the hem of Andrea's dress. She peeled back the bandage and got a closer look at the wound. "Oooh... you said this happened two days ago?"

"Yes."

The nurse stood up and rushed over to the front desk, then grabbed a medical kit off of it. "And you're only just now seeking medical attention?" she asked as she brought the medical kit back.

"We didn't get into town until late last night, it was almost midnight. Why? It's not bad, is it?"

The nurse poked and prodded at the wound, causing Andrea to fidget with pain and jump in surprise. "It's not as bad as it could be. Whoever administered first aid did a darn good job."

Kimberly nodded and absorbed the praise. "That would be me, ma'am."

The nurse continued to inspect the wound. "Now, what exactly hit you?"

She decided to be brief. "I don't know, it was too dark to see what was attacking us. I got hit with some sort of projectile and that was it. It took off on us without further incident." She looked up at Kimberly and nodded. "Right?"

"Uhh, yes. Right." Kimberly answered back.

The nurse shook her head and sighed. "Looks like whatever it was went clean through... But I can't tell for certain." She hopped to her feet and once again rushed over to the front desk. After disappearing into a room behind the reception area, she returned with a wheelchair. "I want to get you into the imaging chamber right away so that we can see exactly what's going on."

"I-imaging chamber?" she sheepishly asked as the nurse encouraged her to move to the chair.

"It's not as scary as it sounds, I assure you."

She let out a deep breath of frustration, then took her spot in the wheelchair. "I hope this doesn't take long. I have a busy day ahead of me."

"I hope not, as well, even if it's given me something to do for the first time in weeks," the nurse replied. With Kimberly close behind, the nurse wheeled Andrea towards a back room, all the while pressing her for more details. She grew frustrated at the limited information she was given, but it wasn't the first time that she had little to work with. If anything, it made the work ahead of her more challenging and, by extension, more interesting.

Before opening the door, she turned to Kimberly. "I'll have to ask you to stay here, ma'am. Patient confidentiality. Unless you two are... ya know."

"Oh! No, we're not. Let me know if you need anything."

The wheelchair crashed through the door and into a small room that was stacked from floor to ceiling with all sorts of delicate looking technology. Despite having never heard of one until just a few moments ago, Andrea immediately recognized the imaging chamber as the large monolith of a machine that was built into the back wall. The chamber featured numerous buttons, sliders, switches and knobs, each accompanied by a display monitor. The door split apart and slid open as they approached and a large padded surface extended outwards.

Andrea bit her lip nervously as she inspected the machine's immensely complicated insides. "This isn't going to hurt, is it?"

"You might feel a slight tingle, maybe some pins and needles, but it won't hurt."

"How about my bank account, will it hurt that?"

The nurse chuckled as she helped Andrea out of the chair and onto the padded surface. "You've been living under a rock, haven't you? Most forms of healthcare have been free for several years now."

It was news to Andrea. "Have they? So I could have been visiting a doctor all this time? That might have saved me a lot of trouble last year..."

"Oh dear... lay back," she said as she pushed Andrea gently. She retreated to the other side of the room and offered some general advice. "Try to stay still. The scan shouldn't take longer than five minutes, and it'll help me to determine if whatever hit you is still inside anywhere, as well as any other health risks such as toxins, infections, all that boring medical stuff."

With the press of a button, the padded surface retracted into the cramped interior of the machine and a series of lights blared in Andrea's face. Once more, she grew nervous as various pieces of hardware moved all around her and a dull, low humming sound radiated around her. The tingling sensation that she was warned about grew with intensity over time, but before she knew it, the machine had shut down and the padded surface was wheeled back out.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" the nurse asked. She took a moment to inspect the data that was appearing on the screen. Next to a detailed image of Andrea's leg was a long list of impossibly obtuse medical information that she blazed through quickly. "Good. No foreign objects near the wound... No toxins, no poisons... Bacteria levels are slightly higher than normal, but that's nothing to worry about... You're going to be fine!"

Andrea sat up and tried to make heads or tails of the information that was present on the screen, but most of it was lost on her. "That's good to hear. I was kind of worried, considering how painful it's been."

"I wouldn't say that wound is nothing, it's nearly an inch deep. You're very fortunate, actually. Any deeper and whatever attacked you would have hit a main artery, and if that happened... well, you've have likely..."

Her eyes widened at the nurse's words. "Was I really that close to..?" she wondered.

"But! You're alive. At the very least, it'll be sore for quite awhile once we get you fixed up."

"How long will that take?"

"I don't know. It's been awhile since I've used a needle. Let's get started."

- - - - -​

Andrea gently rubbed at the sutured wound on her leg before quickly retracting her hand. "Oh right, I'm not supposed to touch it..." she thought to herself. She attempted to distract herself with her work; in front of her was a stack of old newspapers, dating back several weeks. She hunted through them for any new information that might be relevant to her work.

Pen met paper as she started a list of people to speak with, numbers to call and locations to visit. With a little help from the map on her phone, she realized just how much work was ahead of her; for every street in the village, at least two reports of strange activities had been made, with a majority of them appearing in the northeastern district.

The silent atmosphere of the room was shattered as Andrea's phone began to ring. She reached over and looked at the name of the incoming call: Eliza McKenna, a longtime friend she had known since childhood. The call came as a surprise, as the two hadn't spoken in months and their last interaction ended on bad terms.

She cautiously accepted the call. "Uhh... hi." she sheepishly answered.

"Oh! You actually answered this time." Eliza said. "I didn't expect this, now I need to think of something to talk about!"

She chuckled. "If you want, I could hang up and ignore you for a few more months."

"But you haven't yet. Does that mean you're starting to feel better?"

She put her pen down and reclined backwards on the bed. "I'm not sure that I ever will. but I had to get back on the horse at some point."

"If you really wanted to get back on the horse, you'd go back to university and earn that doctorate. You've worked too hard to just stop where you did. But... I guess getting a job with one of the most prestigious research centers in the country is the next best thing."

She shrugged at the idea. "I'll go back eventually. I just needed some time away from all that stress... Little did I know I'd be getting even more of it out here in the real world."

"Heh. You still have a lot to learn."

"You're probably right... So what's new with you? It's been awhile since we last spoke."

"Nothing too interesting... just helping your father to put a few bad guys behind bars. We've had a string of burglaries in Goldwheat recently, as I'm sure you've heard. You remember Reggie, that kid we used to hang out with all the time, right? He was the one doing it."

"Reggie, a thief?" she asked, then tilted her head to think. "Can't say I'm surprised. There was always something wrong with that guy."

"Yeah, he didn't have his head screwed on straight. No skills, few friends, no opportunities, it's only natural he'd turn to crime... Anyways, I called to let you know that I've been given a new assignment. I imagine you're familiar with the name Tamara Dahl, right?"

"Why do I have the feeling that you already know the answer to that question?"

"Because I do! When the commissioner was looking the case over, one of the details that came up was that you were going to accompany her to a little village named Doranshire. He wanted to put your dad on the case but he's tied up with something else, so... I guess I got it."

"Oooo...kay? Why is it so important that someone I know handle Tamara's disappearance? I've never met her, I don't know anything about her!"

"Trust me, everyone at county HQ had the same question, myself included. Still, I'm going to give this one a shot... Commissioner Shelby said he's been looking at giving me a promotion, maybe this case is my test."

"Well, good luck then."

"I think I'll need it. I've had a look through the details we already know, I don't even know where to begin other than that convenience store in Aughrim. Hey, speaking of, have you actually left for Doranshire yet?"

"I have, I'm here right now. Her and I were supposed to be investigating something together, I got started on our work without her... Dr. Reiland, my boss, thought that maybe it couldn't wait."

"Cool. My partner and I will be passing through on our way to the city, want to meet up while I'm there?"

"Sure, but... why not just take the train straight to Aughrim?"

"Maybe we'll find something relevant to the case there in Doranshire. I don't want to overlook anything."

"Fair enough. I might be busy but sure, we can meet. Let me know when you get here."

"Will do. It'll be good to see you again."

"Yeah. It's been too long."

"Right, I need to start packing up my stuff for the road. I should have left an hour ago... Talk to you later."

"Mhmm! See ya!" She hung up and placed her phone on the bed beside her, then picked up her pen again. "She's never been one to hold a grudge, at least... I should still apologize when she gets here."

She navigated to the map on her phone once again and started to plot out the route she'd take while following up on her leads. The plan was simple; she wanted to speak with the residents in the northern district about what they've been seeing, then visit the local elementary school to follow up on the 'bleeding walls' that she had read about. Finally, she'd round it off by visiting the local reservoir to check on the water supply. If anything else came up during her stay in the village, she thought, she could stay a bit longer to further investigate.

A knock at the door interrupted her planning, and with a sigh, she put her pen back down. "Come in!" she called out.

The door opened and Kimberly stepped inside. A look of worry instantly overtook her face as she saw Andrea sitting on the bed. "Oh no! How bad is it?"

"All I needed were some stitches. Nothing more."

Kimberly breathed a sigh of relief. "Is that it? I must admit, I was worried when she wanted to rush you off to that... what was it called? Imaging chamber?"

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was over before I realized it. It definitely reminded me that I'm claustrophobic, though."

"I would probably die in that machine, then. I hate confined spaces!"

She chuckled. "Anyways... You might want to find something to do for the rest of the day."

Kimberly tilted her head to the side in an inquisitive manner. "Oh?"

"The nurse wants me to stay off of my feet for awhile, until tomorrow morning at least. It's going to be a boring day if you stay with me."

"I'm afraid it'll be a boring day regardless. There's not much to do in this village."

"Why not something outside of the village, then? You said it yourself, you wanted to return to the forest and search for an Eevee, so there's an idea."

"That was before we were attacked by that... whatever that thing was. Who knows what else is out there."

"If you don't want to, that's up to you. But do you really want to sit here in a Pokécenter all day?"

"I don't, if I may be honest. Maybe I will have a look through the forest, as long as I don't stray too far." Kimberly lowered her head in thought. "And with Juliano to protect me... I probably would not run into much trouble. And it might be nice to get in touch with nature again."

"Sounds like you've made a decision, then!" she said, returning her attention to the newspaper articles in front of her. She dismissed her friend with a hand wave. "Okay! Have fun!"

"It seems like you're trying to get rid of me!" Kimberly said with a laugh. "I understand, I can be a little overbearing sometimes. I'll give you some time to yourself. See you in a few hours!"

As her friend left, she grabbed her pen and began to further detail her plans. She focused on her visit to the local elementary school specifically. Her chief concern was how to visit without being a distraction towards the students. She also wanted to know who to contact in order to arrange the visit in the first place. She grabbed her phone and began to look up some information about the school, only to be interrupted by the shrieking noise of her ring tone.

"Oh my god!" she shouted, angry about yet another interruption. "Am I ever going to get time to focus on this?!" The caller ID revealed that it was Dr. Reiland calling this time and her rage quickly subsided. She answered, "Hello, doctor!"

"Good morning, Ms. Dennison! How are you today?"

"Could be better, I'm at the Pokécenter with some stitches in my leg."

"Oh? How bad is it?"

"It'll keep me off of my feet until tomorrow, at least. I won't be able to get started today."

"That's fine! Take the time you need to recover." Dr. Reiland answered with a reassuring tone of voice. "Anyways, I have some information for you!"

"Oh yeah? What about?"

"Your mysterious creature. I did some digging, but I haven't come up with much. I shared your findings with Ms. Dahl's employer, a man named Dr. Belmonte. He's one of the world's leading experts on paranormal activity, if not the leading expert. He didn't seem surprised at your findings, but he seemed surprised at that creature's presence here in Lanark."

"So he's familiar with it? Does he know what it is?"

"He doesn't, unfortunately. However, he did tell me that there have been sightings of similar creatures elsewhere. Are you familiar with the legends of the tombwalkers in the ancient pyramids of Kardak?"

"I'm familiar, but I never believed that they were true."

"I don't, either. But the physical description of the supposed tombwalkers does seem to match what you encountered. Four feet tall, humanoid body shape, mismatched bones all held together by burial wrappings..."

"What are you suggesting? That one of the mummies brought back to the Aughrim Archaeological Museum somehow escaped and was wandering through the Spritewood?"

Dr. Reiland let out a hearty laugh. "No, nothing that silly. Just citing some similarities that Dr. Belmonte and I found throughout history. The next record we found dates back to the 14th century. There were sightings of three similar creatures near the Zasagt mountain range over in the Ahnkol Empire, but details were minimal. Apparently all official records of the creature were destroyed during the Great Burning at the end of the fifth dynasty, and all we have to go by is a story passed down through the generations."

"Zasagt? Like, the Temple of Zasagt? I heard something about that, actually. Ming the Merciless was a monk who lived in the area and he was renowned for his cruelty. There were a range of rumors about him; some said he was a cannibal, others said he was a vampire, and others said that he was a practitioner of blood sacrifice. I don't know whether any of them were believable, but his reputation was widespread throughout the empire."

"Ah, a student of history, are we?"

"Uhh... no, not really," she chuckled. "I mostly heard about it while, uhh, researching goth culture."

"Oh. Well, there's always something to learn in the strangest of places! Anyways, that's not the last recorded sighting of such a creature. The only other record Dr. Belmonte and I could find came from his own personal studies."

"So he's seen this creature, then?"

"Not personally, but he's spoken with people who have. Two very reputable people, as Dr. Belmonte described them, explained that they found a creature similar to yours in a forest on Storm Island just a few months ago. They said that the creature wandered aimlessly, but became incredibly violent when it was aware of their presence."

She paused to think. "I think that describes how the one I found acted. I might have accidentally brought attention to myself, and that's when it attacked."

"Hmm. I truly wonder if the creature you found is in any way related to that one, or the reports throughout history. If it is, it's got an impressive range! Three continents and an island surrounded by hundreds of miles of ocean on all sides? There's definitely something unnatural about that."

"It's a walking bone monster, of course it's unnatural!"

"Point taken, but I'm speaking as if it weren't unnatural. There are only a few species of Pokémon -- if this thing is indeed a Pokémon -- that are naturally found worldwide, and they're all birds of some sort. Something like this... I suppose someone could have transported it, yet at the same time, why would it appear in two areas thousands of miles apart?"

"What are you suggesting?"

"I don't know what I'm suggesting, I'll have to dig deeper. I have a feeling that Dr. Belmonte and I are going to be working alongside each other quite a bit in the future. Oh! Speaking of bone, I imagine you'd like that unsightly physical sample you took a few days ago taken off of your hands. Let's do that now."

"It might have to wait, the post office is on the other side of the village and I don't want to--"

"Bah, post office? You're in a Pokécenter, Ms. Dennison! Have a little explore, see if you can find the communications hub. They're usually to the right side of the main entrance."

"I hope the nurse doesn't get mad at me..." she said as she pushed herself off of the bed. She wandered over to her backpack and opened up one of the smaller pockets on it, then retrieved the bone fragment from it. "So... how is this communications hub supposed to help me?"

"You'll see!"

She cautiously approached the doorway and peered out into the main lobby before she realized that caution wasn't needed. The nurse gave her little more than a stern look as she walked across the lobby, but allowed her to do so without comment.

The communications hub was a large room that was lined from wall to wall with a dozen work stations. Each contained a complicated array of delicate computer equipment, a large plasma screen and a table chock full of buttons and slots for connecting things such as phones, cameras and other devices.

She sat down at one of the work stations and asked, "How does this work? Looks awfully complicated."

"There should be a slot in the table marked with a phone icon. Plug yours in and we can get started."

She did as she was told; with the phone plugged in, the screen turned on and it displayed a live video feed of Dr. Reiland in her cramped, cozy office.

With a wave, the doctor said, "Neat, isn't it? I'm surprised you haven't had much experience with the communications hubs in Pokécenters, considering your studies."

"I never had a need to visit a Pokécenter before. I didn't have much contact with Pokémon unless I was doing some sort of group project. And even then, I usually relied on my partners to do that for me."

"Now why is that, I wonder?"

"Long story."

"Fair enough. I guess that means you don't know how to work the digital transporter, then."

"The digital what now?"

Dr. Reiland chuckled. "See those five spherical slots in the table to your right?"

"I do."

"Keep an eye on them," Dr. Reiland said as she wheeled off-screen.

Andrea waited patiently for something to happen. The light at the bottom of one of the slots turned on and a gentle humming noise could be heard. A shower of glittering, blue sparks in the vague shape of a spherical object began to effervesce within the indentation in the table; before long, a red and white Pokéball had materialized in front of her eyes! She was shocked by what she saw, but likened it to something she had read about in her science fiction novels. "Woah, what the hell is this? Replicator technology?"

"More or less, but not quite. I could give you a whole lesson on how this technology works and why it's not quite your 'replicator', but I'm afraid I don't have the time today. Now, take that Pokéball I sent to you and place the bone fragment inside. Hopefully it fits, otherwise this plan isn't going to work."

She grabbed the Pokéball and studied it closely. She assumed that tapping the central button would open it, but it refused. "Uhh... how do I..." she started, embarrassed at the fact that she didn't know how to use a Pokéball.

"Tap the button three times and hold. Most trainers don't need to get to the insides of a Pokéball, so that feature was added to make sure they're not opened accidentally. There's a lot of fragile circuitry on the inside."

With the Pokéball opened, she grabbed the bone fragment and placed it inside. It just barely fit and some force had to be applied to make sure the top was secured properly. "It's in there. Do I put this back in the slot?"

"Yes ma'am."

She put the Pokéball back into the hollow opening and pressed a button beside it. Once again, the Pokéball was covered in a burst of sparkles, this time red in color, before it disappeared from existence.

Dr. Reiland picked the Pokéball up on her end and held it up to the screen. She mirrored the process of opening it, showing that the bone fragment had survived the magical journey. "Here it is! I'll send this down to the medical lab for analysis, see what kind of data we can get on it. Hopefully it provides some sort of clue as to what that creature was."

"I honestly hope it's a new species of Pokémon. Just think of the headlines! 'Junior Scientist Discovers Two New Pokémon In First Week Of Job'!"

Dr. Reiland laughed heartily. "Careful now, don't be so certain of yourself. It's entirely possible that it's somehow related to a known species. Remember, there are close to 7800 documented species across the world, with over 400 here in Lanark alone. That's a very large umbrella to escape from."

"Yeah, it's probably best not to get my head in the clouds so soon... you're more than likely right," she answered back. With the physical sample delivered, she asked, "Is there anything else you need from me at the moment? Anything I need from you?"

"While I have you here..." she said, grabbing another Pokéball off of a desk behind her. With another press of a button on the machine beside her desk, the Pokéball was transferred across the country instantaneously. "Patrick told me that you said your R-Kit is malfunctioning. You'll probably have a tough time out there without it, so I'd like to see about getting it repaired. Mind sending it over?"

"Sure, it isn't doing me any good as it is," she said. She reached into her purse and grabbed it, but before she sent it over, she turned it on to check one last time if it was still going haywire, and indeed it was. "I don't know what happened to it. It was working fine when I was at the Oak of Ages."

"What do you last remember using it for?"

She popped the R-Kit into the Pokéball and sent it back. "The last thing I can remember using it for... uhhh... I think I used it to scan a Noctowl that had approached me on the road."

"Hmm. Curious." She picked the R-Kit up on her end and began to fiddle with the buttons on it. Her eyebrows danced with wonder and confusion as she tried to figure out what was wrong with it. "Wow. I've never seen one bug out this badly before!"

"Do you know what's wrong with it?"

"I'm afraid not, and fixing it is a little out of my league. I'll send it down to Vince in the maintenance department. If anyone can sort it out, it's him."

"When can I expect it back?"

"Tomorrow at the earliest, if there's nothing seriously wrong with it. If there is, it could be awhile before we can get a replacement, and if that's the case... I'm afraid you might have wasted your time going all the way out there." She noticed the downtrodden look on Andrea's face and tried to brighten the mood. "But let's not get ahead of ourselves, yet! It could just be as simple as purging its memory and restoring from a backup. We'll see."

"I hope it's not too bad. Other than talking to people and taking note of what they'll say, I don't know what I'll do without it."

"I'll let you know tomorrow morning. In any event, I'll let you get back to recovering. Be on your feet soon!"

"Thank you, doctor."

- - - - -​

Updates and edits:

Spoiler

• Slight alteration in the conversation between Andrea and the nurse.

 

[Beth Pavell]

Ok, reviewing from notes - first thing, actually, is that I found the free healthcare exposition a bit clunky. Perhaps it's just being British and used to the idea of paying for your health primarily through tax, but it baffles me how the idea of "free" healthcare seems to be treated as something that requires explanation. That's how it came across in the narrative anyway, and if it were me beta'ing it I'd advise to edit it out.

The wound continues to be on the confusing side - the narrative seems to be telling me it's both shallow and a through-and-through. Whichever way I imagine it I can't see how both can be true. I think you'd be better off not downplaying to explain why Andrea's not in deep trouble and instead just say she's lucky it didn't hit a major artery. It may well be a case of reality being unrealistic, but in any case body trauma is something of a dice roll. People can and do get lucky.

I'm in two minds about this last one, but the conversation with Eliza came across as a bit too friendly. It didn't seem like two friends with an awkward acrimonious elephant in the room, put it that way

 

[Misfit Angel]

Perhaps it's just being British and used to the idea of paying for your health primarily through tax, but it baffles me how the idea of "free" healthcare seems to be treated as something that requires explanation. That's how it came across in the narrative anyway, and if it were me beta'ing it I'd advise to edit it out.

I believe you hit it on the head there. I'm American, our system is a disaster and attempts to fix it are a disaster. "Free" (even though it's not) appeals to me because it's something that we don't have, and isn't explained properly to us. Admittedly, that little exchange was probably confusing to someone more clued in on systems such as these.

However, I did include it for a reason, as made evident by Andrea's commentary about not visiting a doctor for quite some time. Why is that, one may wonder? Hmm...

The wound continues to be on the confusing side - the narrative seems to be telling me it's both shallow and a through-and-through. Whichever way I imagine it I can't see how both can be true. I think you'd be better off not downplaying to explain why Andrea's not in deep trouble and instead just say she's lucky it didn't hit a major artery. It may well be a case of reality being unrealistic, but in any case body trauma is something of a dice roll. People can and do get lucky.

I need to get it over with and just admit that I can't explain injury properly. Andrea's injury in the Blackwood Forest arc of Storm Island is another perfect example. I made such a big deal of it as it happened, then never mentioned it again. The same probably would have happened with the man who was attacked by the mountain lion in the final chapter.

I'll go back and fix that up in the coming days, as your explanation is miles ahead of what I've been vomiting out into these chapters.

I'm in two minds about this last one, but the conversation with Eliza came across as a bit too friendly. It didn't seem like two friends with an awkward acrimonious elephant in the room, put it that way

Admittedly, it probably comes across as too friendly. She's only in the next town over, so she's scheduled to make an appearance within the next few chapters (probably 21 if this one I'm currently writing makes it past the chopping block). There'll be more room to breath and explain things, especially when they touch on the giant elephant between them. For now, let's just say that one is very interested in the well-being of the other.