TEEN: Land of the Roses [abandoned]

[Misfit Angel]

I see "stinglebank" didn't make it into the final draft.

It did not ;P I vaguely remember hearing this word so I googled it, pretty much the only result was your post about it. Perhaps some other time!

I think there's something missing in the text there. At first glance it looks like Andrea is monologuing to Kimberly.

I imagined her starting the video, but before she could begin her thoughts, Kimberly spoke up first. I could probably go back and touch that up.

There was definitely some space for a little bit more detail in the beginning there. Bramble vines are perfectly good forest fare - I personally know how stubborn the bastards can be, and they only become woodier, thornier, and denser with each passing year. I probably would have tried to find space to mention other species, if only in description, things like goosegrass (Also known as cleavers, stickyweed, catchweed, etc) or bracken. The sorts of things that leave you covered in burrs, seeds, and spores, in short.

The reason I didn't was because of the darkness and the tunnelvision they had for getting to the orbs. They certainly noticed the briars because they physically interacted with them; the grasses, the leaves underfoot, I didn't think that was important. During daylight in the coming chapters that take place in the forest (just one or two left at this point) I'll definitely highlight details like these.

The best I can say is that the chapter reminded me a bit too much of Blackwood from Storm Island.

That was intended. There were a lot of problems with the Blackwood arc from that story and the Doranshire arc was my attempt to address those. I can understand if readers of both would be disappointed that I'm treading over old ground, but hopefully Doranshire's similarities are the last big thing from Storm Island that'll be appearing (aside from a few character development things).

I think you might have been better off making the "tracker's" cottage more modern and prosaic before turning the apparent safety upside down. I suspect you would have got more out of ambiguous and unknown dangers - was it a crobat or wasn't it, was the tracker human or wasn't she.

As for the witch... I agree with Pavs. Too much already felt off before things took a turn for the worse. Like, I knew things were going to go bad. Especially when they violated the #1 rule of horror story survival and split up. I think you could've gotten away with the oddly outdated setting or the inhumanly beautiful girl. The combination of both kind of tipped your hand hard.

I'm not sure which to do here. I love the scenery I set up with the cabin, and it fits with the characterization of an independent hunter who built her own establishment to work and live out of. Perhaps I could reword the outside appearance of it so that it's not so crudely constructed, but the interior (cauldron and all) would probably remain somewhat unchanged.

As far as the woman's beauty, that was very intentional considering what she is, so that's unlikely to change. She'll be making more appearances throughout the story, details like this will likely be touched upon. (bluh, getting into that bad habit of saying "just wait!" again)

The last conversation with the police officer struck me as a odd. Andrea tells Kim that she'll do the talking, but then goes ahead and gives an incoherent and fantastical account. I mean, sure, she's beginning to think in terms of the evidence that she sees, but it seems to me that she might have omitted the weirdest details and tried to portray it as a frightening but rational night - falling back to old habits in a stressful time, really.

I'll fully admit to screwing that one up. That little scene right there had me blocked for nearly two weeks solid, and eventually frustration got the better of me and I just went with what came to mind first. My beta reader didn't offer much in the way of guidance or criticism with this scene; while I thought it was weak, he didn't say anything that made me think it was terrible. I probably go over it, and several other aspects of this chapter, again soonish.

I know you don't usually reply much to my responses to your feedback, but... if you could change one thing specifically about the final scene, what would it be? I'm not sure where to go with it (which is why it took so long to get this chapter out) honestly, other than trying to straighten Andrea's story out.

Honestly wasn't expecting the hypnotic lights to have been relatively harmless. Or were they? I suppose they could've been the bait to get people out into the forest where they were attacked by ghost crobats and witches and men with knives.

You're barking up the right tree, but not quite there yet. I do have plans to have Andrea return to Doranshire for a brief time later on in the story, but I have no idea if the orbs will be properly explained at or by that point. Kinda want to explain now, but I dunno. Maybe I can do a mini-chapter written as a report like you did with the background checks.

I am quite sure I would have shown more of that chatting fuzzy moment. It's supported well enough by the preceding scene, but the "telling" paragraph stands out rather starkly. I'd have led in to the next scene with the tail end of a conversation - it wouldn't be out of place mood-wise and you could probably do it in as many words if not fewer.

As for the lights scene, I think it could've been expanded. Their rebonding could have been a nice heartwarming moment that would've made the witch chapter more jarring. Honestly if I'd been writing this I would've expanded the dialogue and ended the chapter with an ear-piercing scream ripping through the forest and scaring the lights away. And then maybe post the next part on Halloween because timing promotions.

I thought about splitting it somewhere around there, but I didn't want to interrupt the flow with such a heard break. Discussed it with a proofreader and he said that he loved how the action was gotten to right away rather than breaking it up, even if it did end up as a gargantuan chapter in the end.

re: rebonding: That's coming in full force with the next chapter, that's why I only touched on it for now.

Related to inhumanly beautiful girl: Andrea and Kimberly are lesbians confirmed.

Where'd you get that idea with Andrea? Rereading her interactions with the woman, I'm not really seeing it.

No self-respecting girl like us makes a story where the cops are good.

I do

 

[Beth Pavell]

It did not ;P I vaguely remember hearing this word so I googled it, pretty much the only result was your post about it.

I should imagine so, since I'm pretty sure I coined it.

if you could change one thing specifically about the final scene, what would it be?

I would rewrite it so Andrea was trying to spin the story into something more prosaic - less "Officer there are witches and demons out there!" more "Officer we was mugged!" Conceivably, given the stress of the situation and that Andrea's never been good at thinking on her feet, the story would end up being full of holes, and perhaps she might end up letting slip something supernatural that she didn't intend to. The upshot of the dialogue would end up the same, since they're ending up making some kind of report - I just feel this would fit into Andrea's character better and be a little more interesting to read.

 

[Misfit Angel]

Makes sense to do it that way, especially with how the next chapter is currently opening. I'll redo it.

The reason I originally had her speak about all of the supernatural nonsense was because I wanted her to get the warnings across clearly that something isn't right in the forest. She doesn't want any cops getting killed on her advice and I don't either, as regret about not giving the proper warnings of the danger involved is not the kind of character development path I want her going down.

 

[Flaze]

One would think I don’t like this fic because I always fall off the wagon with it, but I swear that it’s actually one of my favorite ones. But either way, I’ll be picking off where I left off with chapter 22.

Actually first a couple of grammar mistakes I caught onto.

The meteorologist on the television was stood

Remove the as

overgrown forest until they they eventually

You said they twice

The fire had a soothing affect

Affect?

Chapter 22

Like I told you when we chatted on Discord, this chapter hit me pretty hard. The chapter itself doesn’t really have much going on, in fact you might say that in the grand scheme of things it’s a slight breather between chapters. But what it accomplishes on a character level helps it stand out a lot for me.

There aren’t many fics that really explore characters’ mess ups, there are a lot where characters mess up and a lot where they have to apologize, but very few really delve into detail on the why for said mess ups, and the ones that do usually have really dramatic or outlandish reasons that make it obvious as to why a character would act that way.

Andrea in this chapter I think separates herself from that by having a truly relateable reason for why she acts the way she does. The chapter itself marks the first time we actually delve into Andrea’s past and the events that led to who she is now…and it’s both fascinating and really tragic, both for what’s said and what goes unsaid. The way in which you go about having Andrea’s relapse and her essentially going through a nervous breakdown in the stall of an Italian restaurant is also pretty strong and it makes Eliza stand out as a great supporting character.

In general, it’s easy to buy Eliza and Andrea’s friendship and even though we just met her I can already see what type of friends they were and I get that they’ve gone through a lot.

The only damper on that scene for me is that it also feels a bit off, like yourself stated it feels weird to have Andrea just spout out her feelings to Travis. That’s not to say that it couldn’t happen in real life, especially if the person has a lot bothering them. But considering that Andrea isn’t really the type to interact freely with people she doesn’t know and that she had only known Travis for a few minutes…it’s just a bit off. That being said, at this point I know that it’s the only way for it to progress into the next part of that scene and you bringing attention to it does help fix things, but it’s just something to keep in mind.

Another aspect that didn’t work so well was the resolution. For one Kimberly comes off as a bit odd in this chapter and we don’t really get to explore her own thoughts on the situation more. Also, for a lot of build up the conclusion between the two feels oddly anticlimactic, but I get that the reason for that is that you wanted to showcase that while Kimberly forgives her things haven’t truly being patched up. It’s another little detail that helps it stand out but it does feel off with how quickly it all concludes.

Lastly, there were a few grammar mistakes still, unfortunately I read the chapter last night and…well I’m too lazy to look through it again to look for the mistakes…sorry.

Chapter 23

Thankfully chapter 23 is a relatively shorter chapter and while the emotional core of the chapter is relatively simple, it does help move the story forward a bit. We get a gleam in Patrick’s head and that does help us remember what he’s like, but I feel that overall we didn’t really learn anything new about him besides his skepticism which we had already known about before.

Here, Patrick serves mostly as a way for us to see what was found from that monster straight from the source. It’s honestly a shocking twist but not one that I hadn’t expected, especially considering that the monster still reminds me from the ones that that cult manipulated back in Storm Island. It also made me think of White Walkers which I think is an insult to you cause I think you said you don’t like Game of Thrones.

It’s still pretty interesting to see the conclusion that Patrick, Dr. Venger an Professor Reiland arrive to, and it was nice to see Reiland again especially since I like her so much and we only really get to see her as Andrea’s mentor who helps her out when she fucks up or needs extra help. That being said, the revelation is the only thing that really happens in this chapter so I don’t have much to say besides the fact that it definitely left me intrigued as to what could be going on.

Chapter 24

It’s nice to know I was right about Kimberly still not fully forgiving Andrea and the remnants of the argument in chapter 22 are still very much present here. Andrea’s more socially awkward side comes out pretty well here and it makes her relatable, the toughest part of an argument isn’t the argument itself but what happens after it and you do a good job in showing how it affects them.

I do agree that maybe you overdid it with the description for the storm, you’re able to get across how violent it is and how much of a toll it’s taking on the environment, but beyond that it’s overdone a bit, granted I still enjoy it very much over all.

Setting wise, maybe it’s just me but I really liked the whole feel of staying inside in the rain and it might be my own imagination and like for small countryside towns but the idea of Andrea and Kimberly going out to hunt fireflies in the night after a big rain is also very adorable in its own right.

I do wonder why Andrea chose not to tell Kimberly about what was discovered of the creature, I understand that she wants to keep it secret as they’re still not sure what it is and she probably doesn’t want to scare Kimberly any more than she already is, but it’s still weird for her not to include her on that considering what they’ve gone through and that Kimberly probably won’t take it well when she finds out the truth…if she finds out.

Lastly, the thing that hit me here is Kimberly’s revelation that she’s planning on leaving, I’m sure it’s still too early for us to say goodbye to her but considering I ship them really hard…I kind of don’t want them to ever part ways.

Chapter 25

Boy, that chapter was…huge, seriously it took me an hour and a half to get through. But anyways, a lot actually happened here so let’s dissect it a bit.

First we got a conclusion to Andrea and Kimberly’s feud, sort of. They were able to reestablish their friendship and while the whole scene is cute, especially the part with them taking selfies, I think that it was a bit..fast. Like I know the chapter was already pretty long as it is, but if it was going to be that large then you might as well have gone all the way and made a proper scene out of Andrea and Kimberly bonding and rekindling their friendship.

The scene with the light orbs itself was also really interesting and they still leave me curious as to what they are. I originally thought they were going to be a new type of ghost type pokemon (a ghost type pokemon that looks like light would actually be a pretty refreshing idea), but they seem to just be spheres that fly along with the wind. Though I’m sure this isn’t the last time we see them.

Before I touched the second half of the chapter (though it covers most of the chapter itself) I do have to extend Athena’s comment that you could’ve, and probably should’ve, split up the chapter a bit more. Not just cause of the length, but because the change and switch in tone and feel for the chapter really is more jarring than one might originally expect. On paper it makes sense, had you cut the chapter of where Kimberly and Andrea recover their friendship it would’ve felt a little shorter.

On the other hand, cutting it off also help alleviate some of the length issues and leaves it on a pretty good cliffhanger, but I digress.

It’s in the second half of the chapters that thing really pick off and the story becomes a lot more intriguing. It’s kind of surprising to see a Pokemon story deal with so many supernatural elements, since usually Pokemon are enough when it comes to filling the supernatural quota, but the use of folklore and the like actually adds a feeling of uncertainty and dread that fits the story pretty well.

Overall, my main comment with the scene in the cabin is that it really was pretty obvious that something was going to happen, I did doubt for a second since you have staved off of having Andrea and Kimberly meet anyone that legitimately means them harm yet, but once the owl image came up I was sure something was up. It was a surprising switch too and one that certainly makes me wonder just what is going on in that forest.

Lastly, I have to throw a comment to how badass Juliano is, that guy really can throw a punch and he’s a force to be reckoned with too.

At the same time though…while we got a new onslaught of intriguing details about the Spritewood and folklore…I feel like we’re still not getting any answers, in fact we’re getting more questions. This is not bad in and of itself, but considering we’ve spent quite a bit of time in this particular part of the story and still barely even know anything about what’s going on…well, it gets a little old. It certainly seems like things will spice up now that there’s witches and demons involved, but it’s something to keep in mind going forward.

And well I guess that’s all for now. I’ll definitely keep reading (even if I fall off the wagon again) and waiting to see what happens with the next chapter. Also don’t kill my ship L

 

[Misfit Angel]

Land of the Roses
Chapter 26: Doubt and Fear

"Good morning, Doranshire! Your daily weather report will be coming shortly, but we are beginning this broadcast with a breaking story that has been developing in the early morning hours."

"Police have discovered the remains of two men in the forest north of Doranshire early this morning. The identity of one of the men is unknown at this point, but the other has been positively identified as Stewart McInnis, the prime suspect in a lengthy string of kidnappings and murders throughout Ardaigh and Crown Counties over the past eighteen months. County police have declined to comment about how exactly the two men have died but noted that several knives and rope were found in their possession, as well as evidence of a brutal struggle between the two men and an unknown Pokémon. The Ardaigh County sheriff has announced that the search is on for two persons of interest who are thought to be connected to the deceased individuals. Let's listen."

The broadcast switched to a recording of a tall and lanky man, dressed professionally in a white shirt and a green policeman's cap, addressing only a single news reporter. Despite his enthusiasm for elaborating on the details, it was clear that he hadn't gotten much sleep.

"There are two people that we're searching for," he started. "A witness provided a statement that there were three individuals at the scene where the two deceased men were found, and that third individual is still alive and out there somewhere. We don't have a name and we don't have a description, unfortunately, other than 'a male in dark clothing'."

"And the second individual?" the reporter asked.

"The witness described the second individual very well, to the point where we have been able to make a positive identification. We are looking for a young woman by the name of Carice Weathers, a hunter employed by the village to keep local wildlife populations in check. She has waist-length blonde hair, ocean blue eyes and no discernable markings or blemishes on her skin. If anyone has any information about her whereabouts, or this other unknown gentleman, please contact my office as soon as possible. We have reason to believe that this could be the potential break we need in multiple disappearance cases over the past few months."

"Who is this witness? What did they witness?"

"I can't disclose that information right now. All that I can say is that we may have a credible lead into what I feared was happening all along, a trafficking ring targeting our young girls. We must do everything we can to stop this, so if anyone out there has any information, no matter how small or unbelievable it may sound, come forward."

- - - - -​

It was a long and arduous night for Andrea and Kimberly; neither had slept much by the time sunlight had started to pour in through the narrow windows of the station. Much of the night was spent talking with various members of the police, trying to recall the details of the bizarre night they experienced. Witness testimonies were extracted, official statements were recorded and half-hearted assurances that the people responsible would be found and dealt with were given. Neither of the two particularly believed those assurances, especially Andrea; she had seen what was out there first hand and she was certain that the police weren't ready for it. Alas, her warnings went unbelieved.

Despite the time of night, a team of eight officers was assembled to investigate their claims. Within an hour, they had discovered the remains of the two men who had attacked them, and a short time later, the cabin was located as well. The cabin was eerily silent and empty, the dying embers of the fire pit still glowing when two of the officers entered to search it. Every room of the cabin was examined for possible clues that would corroborate the girls' story about the youthful hunter being an ancient witch, but nothing stood out to them.

Eventually, the two officers who had searched the cabin returned to the station with Andrea and Kimberly's belongings. Their purses, their backpacks, their phones and the precious Pokéball that held Telandra, all of which had been abandoned in a fevered hurry, were returned to their rightful owners. At that point, the two girls were released and told to go home; their presence at the station was no longer needed. Rather than head back to the Holdt residence right away, they both agreed to grab some coffee first.

"So tired..." Kimberly mumbled, taking a whiff of her steaming black coffee in an attempt to jolt herself awake.

"Yeah, I didn't get much opportunity to sleep, myself..." Andrea added. "Every time I'd nod off in that uncomfortable metal chair they had me sitting on, they'd wake me up for more information. I have half a mind to sue for torture."

"Do you think they believed either of our stories?" she asked with a wide yawn that she didn't put any effort into politely covering.

"They must have believed something, otherwise they wouldn't have mobilized the entire village's police force and the deputies to look into things."

"I don't know... It's an unbelievable story to start with... and then we were sleep deprived and stressed when they kept asking us questions? Pardon me if I'm wrong, but..." she said, stumbling over her words. "But..."

"But?"

"I don't bloody know! I can't think straight!"

Andrea wretched as she swallowed a gulp of the bitter beverage. "Don't worry about it. Let's just take it easy today, okay? No stress, no overthinking, just... relax, ya know?"

"I would like nothing more."

Andrea downed the last of her coffee. "Welp. Let's get back to Mr. and Mrs. Holdt and hope they don't ask too many questions. I don't have the patience to explain this story again."

- - - - -​

Andrea was seated at the table of her home away from home, the tiny bedroom of the Holdt residence. All around her were papers covered from top to bottom with her handwriting, small drawings and diagrams. The writing was neatly divided into sections detailing her day to day experiences in Doranshire and the surrounding wilderness, ranging from discussions she had with the locals to the frightful events of the previous night. She was determined to cover every base in her increasingly lengthy report to Dr. Reiland.

Light snoring came from the bed behind her; Kimberly was snuggled up in the bed with her Skitty, Telandra, dozing away peacefully.

"Right... that old crazy lady, Mrs. Miggins..." she quietly mumbled to herself, starting a new section in her report. As she wrote down her introduction, she idly mused about the situation regarding the old woman. The storm that happened the previous morning came to mind, and whether it had finally destroyed the rest of that miserable ruin she lived in, lingered in her mind. "Someone should really go check in on her... Won't be me, though."

As she continued with her report, her phone lit up and started to rumble. The sound of it vibrating against the wooden desk was unexpected and she nearly fell out of her chair from fright. She picked it up and checked the message that she had just received:

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, 9:07 AM

'Hey! Just heard on the news that the Ardaigh county sheriff is organizing a massive search operation in the forest outside of Doranshire. Dr. Reiland and I can't get any details, what's going on? Everything okay?'​

​

She sighed. She didn't even think about how her colleagues would react to what happened, but at least they appeared to be open to the idea of listening to her crazy tale. She started to type a response:

Fr: Andrea Dennison, 9:08 AM

'i'm okay. gimme a few minutes and i'll call. writing at the mo and wanna finish this last paragraph before I lose my focus'​

​

Fr: Patrick Adelaide, 9:08 AM

'Okay. Call us when you're ready. Glad you're safe! We were a little worried.'​

​

She finished writing the last few thoughts she had about her encounter with Mrs. Miggins, then picked her phone up. Before she entered Dr. Reiland's number, she leaned back in her chair and thought about how best to explain the story. Based on recent conversations she had with the good doctor, she understood her boss as someone that was ready to accept that something strange may have happened. However, the tale of a demon chasing her right into the lair of a thousand-year-old witch probably pushed it too far, she thought. She would clearly be lying if she went with that story, even if it were true. She wanted to smudge the facts somehow, but realized that doing so would sink not just her investigation, but possibly her career as well. Even worse, it might put lives in danger.

She entered Dr. Reiland's number and readied herself. Nervousness welled within her. Just as she was about to press the call button, movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention; Kimberly turned in her sleep and murmured something incomprehensible. She didn't want to bother Kimberly during her sleep, so she slinked out of the room and found somewhere quiet. It bought her a few extra minutes of preparation.

"Here goes..." she said.

The phone rang just once before it was answered. "Good morning, Miss Dennison!" Dr. Reiland started with.

"Yeah... morning," she answered back.

"Patrick is here as well. We've both been trying to find out what's going on over there but we can't get any information. Do you have any idea?"

Patrick's voice chimed in next. "The only thing I got out of the news is that they think a trafficking ring is preying on women in Doranshire and they might have found a suspect."

Andrea nodded. "That does make sense... but... that's not everything."

"Sounds like you know what's going on," he said.

"I, uhh... might have been in the center of everything," she said in a cautious manner. "But before I explain what that means, I need to say it... Dr. Reiland, there is definitely something strange happening in this village, something paranormal. Something sinister."

"I was beginning to suspect as much, considering your encounter with that skeletal creature a few nights ago... but it sounds like you've found something new." Dr. Reiland commented.

"Hold on, hold on. What do you mean, you were 'in the center of everything'?" Patrick asked.

She held her breath for a moment before she began. "This story is going to sound crazy, and I feel like this is a bad idea to explain, but... I'm just going to tell it. I don't know what else to do."

Dr. Reiland could hear the shaky tone that Andrea was speaking with. "You're always welcome to tell us what is on your mind. Here at my institute, we're a team, a team that you're now a part of. We listen without judgment. Never forget that."

The words were of little reassurance. "Umm... well. Uhh. You know those orbs that Doranshire is known for? It all started when I noticed that they started to show up in large numbers. I wanted to get a closer look, so Kim and I went outside, following them to the edge of the forest."

"At night, I'm assuming," Dr. Reiland surmised.

"She asked for my advice. I encouraged her to get a closer look." Patrick commented.

"Yes, and we did. We followed them to a clearing in the forest and established a small camp so I could study them for awhile. That's when it started to get... really weird."

"How so?" Dr. Reiland asked.

"You know the eclipse that happened last night?"

"...Eclipse? What eclipse?"

She sat there, trying to process what Dr. Reiland had just asked her. "There... there wasn't a lunar eclipse last night?"

There was a pause on the line before both of her colleagues answered in unison: "No?"

"I... I didn't imagine it... did I?" She tried to think rationally. She remembered seeing the moon bathed in a crimson hue, she remembered the forest darkening even further, and she remembered taking photos with her phone. "Wait! I took some photos of it!" she said with excitement.

"Took photos of something that didn't happen?" Patrick asked. "Now this I've gotta see."

"Yeah, hold on," she said, navigating through the photos on her phone. Just as she remembered, nearly a dozen photos of the full moon, splashed with varying shades of red and orange, were found in her photo library. A wave of relief washed over her; she wasn't losing her mind. "Check your e-mail, Patrick. I've sent them over."

"Checking..." he said. There was a moment's pause before he asked, "You took these last night?"

"I did," she answered.

"And you're sure that your phone isn't broken? Color balance on the camera is correct?" he continued to prod.

"Absolutely." In an effort to prove her case, she turned her phone around and snapped a quick selfie in front of the neatly kept garden outside of the Holdt residence, as much as she loathed doing such things. A quick look showed that her phone accurately displayed the spectacular array of colors that was on display in the garden, which helped to prove her point. She sent it to Patrick.

Another pause followed. "Well. Your phone's camera is definitely working... Still find it hard to believe that a lunar eclipse happened, considering I was out stargazing last night and didn't see it myself."

"Ask anyone in this village and they'll tell you that it happened. I'm sure of it."

There was another pause before Patrick spoke up. "What do you think, Rebecca?"

"Well..." Dr. Reiland started before pausing for a moment to examine the photos. "Even though one... wasn't supposed to happen--"

"It didn't happen," Patrick interrupted. "As I said, I was stargazing, I think I'd have noticed that."

"It does look like a lunar eclipse, I can say that much... But, as I was about to say, the next lunar eclipse visible from Lanark is..." Her voice trailed off as if she was retrieving the information she wanted from elsewhere. "Five months from now. Not last night. Is this what you meant by something paranormal, Ms. Dennison?"

"That's not what I originally meant, actually... After Kim and I noticed the moon, something started to chase us through the forest. We thought it was a Crobat, but--"

"A Crobat? In the wild?" Patrick asked.

"It wasn't a Crobat. At least... it didn't look like one I've ever seen. I didn't get a good look at it, but it looked like... like a man with grey skin. Horns on its head, too. Over the past few days, some of the villagers warned me about demons in the woods... I'm starting to wonder..."

"A demon, you say... That's..." Dr. Reiland bumbled. "What happened next?"

"We were chased to a cabin that a local hunter worked out of... Something about her seemed suspicious right from the start, but we really had nowhere to turn with that thing out there, so we stayed with her. She was so hospitable, but she wasn't interested in our safety. She wanted our guards down, and she achieved that." She took a deep breath. "That lady... she wasn't human. I don't know what she was, but she was not human."

"This story is--" Patrick started before quickly being interrupted.

"What makes you say that?"

"When we met her, she was the most beautiful woman imaginable. Perfect skin, gorgeous hair, not a spot or wrinkle on her face... She went into a different room, and then when I saw her again... she was the most hideous thing I had ever seen. She looked centuries old, almost like a walking corpse."

"Hmm," was all that Dr. Reiland offered.

"What are you suggesting she was? A witch?" Patrick asked.

"You joke, but..." she said, shaking her head at the thought. "Whatever she is, whoever she is, she's got people working with her. Three of her goons tried to run off with that girl I'm travelling with. I was lucky to save her before they got away or did something worse."

"Goodness! Is everything okay?" Dr. Reiland asked.

"I think so. We're back in town and neither of us are hurt, thankfully, but Kim's pretty rattled. I'll be honest, I am too."

"I'm not surprised, if everything you say is true."

She figured that Dr. Reiland wouldn't believe her story and had prepared for the eventuality, but it still made her feel ill to hear it. "I know you don't have any reason to believe me yet, but I'm not lying."

"I don't think you're lying... You've been a truthful employee so far, but I think in this instance, you might not have all of the facts correct. Stress can cloud the mind, create fuzzy details. Not to mention, there are some particularly nasty Pokémon out there that like to play tricks on the mind... But, considering what we know from the news reports, there is some semblance of credence to your story."

"I just wish I had compelling evidence... It'd make me feel a lot more comfortable. Unfortunately, I was too terrified to take pictures or R-Kit readings or anything like that."

"Don't worry about it! Even if you don't have any evidence, surely the police will find something."

"If they do find something that proves my story, I don't think they're going to release that to the public... Last thing that's needed in this village is a panic." She sighed. "Anyways, there's something else I need to say. I'm done with this investigation. Done. I haven't looked into every rumor, but I can't do this anymore. Maybe it was my own stupid fault, but I could have gotten killed out there. The risk just doesn't feel worth it anymore, and I'm in over my head as it is. I can't do this."

"That's a bit disappointing, but I understand."

"You do?"

"Yes. I allowed you to carry on with this assignment because I had hoped that it was something simple, something that you could take care of on your own. Now I realize this probably isn't the case. Too many strange things are adding up for this to be something that even a veteran field analyst could handle alone, and I don't want you getting hurt."

"That's relieving to hear... Well, I'm writing up my finalized report right now and I'll submit all of my findings and experiences either later today or tomorrow, I'm not sure which. I've got a lot of data to compile and information to sort through."

"Good! I was just about to suggest you get started if you're sure about this."

"I am," she said, pausing briefly. "Before I get back to work... What'll happen with this village? Who's going to deal with whatever is happening here?"

There was another pause as Dr. Reiland pondered the question. "That is a good question. According to my colleague who arranged this investigation in the first place, Ms. Dahl was intended to deal with any paranormal activity that you two discovered. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like that is going to happen. I'll get in touch with her employer again and ask for his advice."

She shook her head. "I dread to think it, but I don't think she's alive anymore... Especially not after what I went through last night."

"Each passing day does make that more and more likely, yes."

"I just find it so suspicious that she went missing just before she got started on this. I don't know a lot about her, but I get the feeling that she was a woman who always got results... I'm an idiot who's out of her depth and even I found evidence that something spooky is going on here. She probably would have cleaned this whole mess up, and that makes me think that whatever is going on out here is directly tied to what happened to her."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. The police are investigating both her disappearance and this... matter in the forest, let's trust them to do the job right."

She nodded. "Right... I'd hate to leave this unfinished, but..."

"It happens. On that note, you'll be needing a new assignment! The trouble is... I don't have anything lined up at the moment. How about you, Patrick?"

"I don't have anything for her, either," Patrick's voice answered. "I'll dig around and find something. It'll probably be back here at the lab."

"Oh... darn... I was kinda hoping to do some more travel. I'm loving the outdoors! I never got to experience it much as I was growing up, this is so refreshing."

"Really? Last time we talked about it, you said you weren't a fan of field work. I believe you complained about mold growing on a wall."

"Well... now that I've done it for almost two weeks, I'm actually starting to enjoy it. Having Kim by my side has definitely helped, that's certain. We don't always see eye to eye, but something about her sickeningly sweet personality just gives me so much energy and focus."

"Are you enjoying the actual work, or are you enjoying her?" he questioned.

She raised her eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

"Remember, she's not an employee of ours and she's got her own life to live. Will you be able to enjoy the work you do out in the field without her at your side?"

A fair question, and one she didn't have an honest answer for. She tried to compare her time in Nettlefield with her journey down the northern stretch of the Rosencoast, through the Spritewood and finally in and around Doranshire. It may have been her disdain for the task at hand in Nettlefield or the brevity of that particular assignment, but she certainly had more positive memories from the past week. She just wasn't sure if it was Kimberly's presence that made the work enjoyable, the work itself, or the freedom to do what she wanted, away from the prying eyes of her superiors.

"I... I don't know. Probably." she answered in a cautious manner.

"It was luck that brought you two together. Luck doesn't last forever." he said. "Ahh, it's not like it matters, anyways. We don't have any field work open at the moment, just lab work. It's that simple."

"Fair enough."

"Dr. Venger's team should be in the Spritewood tomorrow to recover the creature you found. We'll have one of them come pick you up and get you back to Loch Alstan safely." Dr. Reiland said.

"Sure. I'll give them a hand while we're out there. Not gonna lie... I kinda want to get a closer look at that thing again, especially now that it's not the most terrifying thing I've ever seen."

Dr. Reiland let out a hearty chuckle. "I believe that covers everything. You're safe, sound, and working on your report. Is there anything you'd like to add, Patrick?"

"Mm-mmm," he stated nonchalantly. "Oh! Wait! Before I forget, it's your first pay day!"

Andrea's face lit up. "Is it, already? That's some comfort, at least. First thing I'm buying are some new boots, I think, these aren't the best for travel."

"I did wonder about those, I must admit... I miss the days when I wore fashionable clothing..." Dr. Reiland mused. "Ah! Memories! Drop by the bank in that village when you get some time. I think you'll be happy with your earnings."

A grin that stretched from ear to ear appeared on her face. "I will, thanks!"

"Very well. We'll be hearing from you soon, Ms. Dennison! Take care, and extend my thanks to your friend!"

"Thank you, doctor." With that, the call ended. The smile on her face faded as she sighed. "Kim's gonna be so disappointed... I get the feeling she really wanted me along for her trip to Rustlode... And now she's gotta find someone to travel with, too..."

She was about to go back inside to continue working on her report, but the thought of finally having some spending money for the first time in nearly two months was a more alluring call. She wasn't sure if the village had a proper bank, as she hadn't seen one in all of her time spent there. She opened the map and looked around the village, perplexed by its lack of a bank, until she noticed that it was paired up with the post office. She set out the route and began walking.

As she walked through the town, she noticed a stark difference in atmosphere. The quaint life of the country folk had been put on hold, most of the businesses that were usually booming with customer activity were empty or closed and the sound of music that could usually be heard on Main Street was gone. All she could hear was the wind blowing through the trees above her.

She arrived at the post office. Before she entered, a poster taped to the front window caught her attention; she took a moment to examine it:

MISSING
Oakley Hardt
5'4" tall, 122lbs, 22 years old.
Brown hair, brown eyes.

Last seen walking her pet Stoutland on Whetstone Lane, May 20th.
Witnesses reported seeing her in a pink hooded sweatshirt, faded blue jeans and white high top sneakers.

TIPS that lead to her whereabouts should be directed to the Ardaigh County Sheriff's Office.

"Shit... That could have been us, too." She shivered at the thought. "What's going on in this country? So many young women are disappearing..."

- - - - -​

"Come on... where are they?" Kimberly said as she dug through the contents of her backpack, her voice shaking. Her breathing was erratic and tear streaks stained her cheeks. "I couldn't have run out already..."

One by one, the contents of her backpack spilled out onto the bed and the floor as she carelessly tossed them to the side: notebooks, pencils, a first aid kit, a bag of trail mix, the clothes that she bought for Andrea a few days previously, they all meant nothing to her at that moment. At last, she found what she was looking for: a nondescript pill bottle, labeled with the name Tenzepam. Her shaky hands struggled against the cap until she got it open. She feverishly shook two pills out of the bottle and gobbled them down like a starving animal, nearly choking on the acrid capsules in the process.

She returned the top to the bottle, then buried it back at the bottom of her backpack under the rest of her belongings. She attempted to steady her breathing, but it was impossible; every time she closed her eyes, the events of the previous night played in picture perfect clarity. Most haunting were the images of the hunter, her face melting like a candle as she transformed from the most beautiful woman she ever laid eyes on, into a monstrously hideous wretch with hollow, dead eyes.

She tumbled to the bed and grasped at her hair tightly. "Go away..." she pleaded as she held her head between her knees. "You... you can't hurt me... Just go... go away..."

Though it felt like an eternity of torment, eventually a few minutes passed as her nerves slowly started to soothe. It wasn't any conscious effort on her part that brought her relief, but the medication that she had taken. Despite the images of the wicked woman still being fresh in her mind and the feeling of her would-be kidnappers' hands caressing her up and down being oddly palpable, her breathing slowly returned to normal.

"Not... real..." she whispered to herself, repeating over and over like a skipping record.

"What's not real?" Andrea's voice asked.

Her eyes shot wide open; Andrea was standing at the door, looking at her. "No... not now..." she thought. "I'm a wreck, you shouldn't see this..."

Andrea was perplexed by the silent, wide-eyed stare that she was receiving. The first thing she thought of was the thousand-yard stare that she'd seen in history and war books. "Dumb question that I probably know the answer to, but... you okay? You don't look so good."

She fought against both the haunting thoughts and the medication she just took in an effort to maintain some sense of normalcy. "I wish I was okay."

"Ah..."

"I woke up screaming... Gave poor old Mrs. Holdt a heart attack. I'm... I think I'm getting over it, though."

"Bad dream?"

She nodded silently. "I... I was reliving it... Last night, I mean."

Andrea grumbled at the thought. "Damn it, I should have been here. I promised I was going to keep an eye on you."

"Don't beat yourself up, friend! I'm sure whatever you were doing was important."

"Uhh... yeah..." Andrea's grip on her purse tightened for a moment before she dropped it onto the table. She took a seat on the bed next to Kimberly and pointed out the streaks under her eyes. "Maybe I'm different than you, but... dreams usually don't make me cry. Is it something else that's bothering you? Something you might want to talk about?"

She looked down and to the side, away from Andrea. The only noise she made was a deep sigh of sadness, a troubling sound.

"Look, I know. I've not been the best person to talk to, or even the best friend. But I'm here to listen now, I owe you that much. Apart from the obvious, what's really bothering you?"

She turned to look at Andrea again, looking deeply into her eyes. "I need an assurance that you won't belittle me over it."

"If this is about your faith, I'm done doing that. That was cruel of me and I am so sorry. Your decision to believe is your own, it wasn't right of me to judge."

A smile graced her face. "I already feel a little bit better..." She took a deep breath to start her explanation. "Usually when I am feeling down, or when I've seen something that truly bothers me deep down, I try to meditate in an effort to clear my mind... but I can't! I try and I try to clear my head, but I keep seeing it..."

"That bad, huh? Guess I shouldn't be surprised. I can't even imagine how traumatic it must have been to be dragged out of that cabin."

She nodded. "When I close my eyes, I see her, that wretched woman... Beauty melting away, her eyes hollowing out... and then those men grab me." Her hand slapped down at her thigh, then started to rub away. "I actually feel their hands pulling at me still, it's so unsettling. I don't know what to do. The thoughts and pictures are at their worst when I try my best to escape them."

Andrea tried to think of ways to make her feel safe or at least more comfortable, but none seemed particularly practical. "There has to be some way..." she thought, before a light bulb flashed in her mind. "If I'm wrong about this, do forgive me, but... maybe the fact that you're focusing on escaping those thoughts is what is bringing them to the front of your mind."

"Yes, that's the problem."

"What if you focused on something else?"

"Like what?"

"Well... can't believe I'm going to suggest this, but... What if I joined you in your meditation? So you're not alone."

She tilted her head to the side, not out of skepticism, but surprise. "Join me?"

"Even if this meditation stuff isn't for me, I just want to make you feel more comfortable."

Another smile. "Just knowing that you want to give it a try makes me feel more comfortable. There is a problem, however... I don't know how it will work."

"I was thinking that if you guided me through the process, you'd be focusing on something other than escaping your thoughts."

She shook her head, skeptical that it would work. "It won't hurt to try, I suppose. Follow my lead."

The two hopped off the bed and congregated in the center of the cramped room. Kimberly sat down first; she crossed her legs, rested her hands in her lap and interlocked her fingers. She looked up at Andrea. "It's not a complicated posture, truthfully."

Andrea hestitated to sit down in the same manner. "I'm not worried about it being complicated, it's just... Can I sit some other way?" she inquired.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I, uhh..." Andrea started, pinching the hem of her thigh-length minidress and gently lifting. "What I'm wearing doesn't mix well with sitting like that."

Kimberly giggled at the thought. "Sit however you please, but it wouldn't bother me, anyways. Our eyes will be closed."

"Still," Andrea stated. She dropped to her knees and rested atop her ankles. She placed her hands on her lap in a dignified manner and nodded. It was slightly uncomfortable at first, but she grew accustomed to it fairly quickly.

She meticulously guided Andrea through her usual process of meditation. It wasn't about clearing the mind and focusing on nothing, the key was to focus on the void of everything itself. To imagine oneself in an empty room, bereft of any detail, color or texture: emptiness at its purest. Andrea found the concept puzzling at first, but embraced it in her attempt to clear her mind. She found it difficult, struggling for much of the same reasons as Kimberly; despite her efforts at focusing, images from the previous night played in her mind, but nowhere near as intensely.

The next part was perhaps the most difficult for Andrea: consciously regulating her breathing and heartbeat while maintaining the thoughts of the empty void. The breathing was the easiest of the two, but she lacked the discipline to lower her heart rate. She was cautious of even trying, thinking it to be a dangerous thing to do anyways.

Kimberly opened her eyes and saw that Andrea's breathing had slowed and her posture had improved compared to normal. "You're doing well." she said with a smile.

"But how are you doing?" Andrea asked without opening her eyes or moving at all.

"I've given up, it's too difficult... but watching you try has brought me comfort."

"Good."

"Do you see anything? Or is your mind still blank?"

Under her eyelids, Andrea's eyes darted around rapidly. Vague shapes and shades of orange and brown accompanied by blurs of blue and green, all obscured with a thick, cloudy fog, presented themselves to her mind's eye. Her brows furled as she tried to visualize what her imagination was cooking up, but it only grew more and more distant and blurred until eventually it faded entirely. "There was something... But I couldn't tell what. Maybe my mind wasn't as clear as I thought."

"That's likely," Kimberly said with a nod. "I wouldn't expect much from it, truthfully. Meditation is an art that requires discipline and years of practice in order to experience all that it offers. It can be confusing to determine what is just your chaotic thoughts and what is deliberate."

"Just hearing that is confusing..." she said, opening her eyes again. "How you feeling?"

Kimberly smiled. "Better, thank you. You're a good friend."

It made her happy to see that her well-meant attempt brought comfort and security to Kimberly, but she knew it wouldn't last forever. In fact, she had news that would probably ruin that comfort in an instant; as they sat in silence on the floor, she wrestled with whether it was the right time to tell Kimberly that she was being reassigned and that they might not see each other again. She didn't want to, but felt that it was better to say it then and there, rather than spring it on her the following day.

Her eyes drifted to the floor. "I've... got some bad news."

"Uh oh."

"I'm being pulled off of this assignment and brought back to Loch Alstan. I'm not fit for this investigation, I never was... That means that we might not see each other again... not for awhile, at least."

Kimberly's good mood began to wash away. "I suppose I should have expected it, considering the nature of your job. I should be ready for it, as I intended on leaving today, but... our time in the forest last night really brought us closer together, I feel. Especially now that I owe you my life. It's not making it any easier to accept."

"I was worried you might take it a little rough."

"It's just that... I've found a good friend in you, you know? It took me until now to truly realize it, but there's something special about you, something I rarely find in other people. Someone who understands the true value of friendship, that friendship is a two way street. These past two days haven't just been 'me, me, me' which is so often the case with other people I know."

The praise was starting to get to her, and she didn't like it. "I think you're giving me too much credit. We'll still be friends after we part ways, you can count on that. We've got each other's phone numbers, and we can always take time out of our lives to see each other. Maybe even partner up in the future if the circumstances allow!"

"I like forward to it!"

She laughed. "Right... before I get too emotional, let's save that for tomorrow, okay? I need to get back to work on my report, anyways. I promised my boss I'd have it done by tomorrow and I still have so much more to do."

"By all means, continue! If you need my help with it, let me know! I'll be out in the garden in the meantime."

 

[Persephone]

I am v tired right now and am truthfully just writing this up tonight so I get two more review league points.

This chapter really didn't feel long. Which, at 6.5k words, is pretty good. We have differing views on police usefulness, sure, but if they're going to be competent that was about what I'd expect.

Usually skeptical of radio broadcast exposition, but it worked here. Interesting that the dead man and the missing woman are both known. Only question I have is whether the spell book was found, because that seems like a bit of a giveaway.

Very nice to see a heroine with mental illness and medication they take for it. Only one I recall on the workshop, so good job. Yay, rep!

It's also cool that you're tying in a real question I've always had about journey fics (why does no one look after the kids?) and real world social problems (sexism, human trafficking) in the main villain arc of a fantasy story. It's a good realm for fan fic to work in and, even with your decidedly non-edgelord tone, you're making it work

tl;dr chapter made me remember why I love the story

 

[Misfit Angel]

Author's note: Up until now, the chapters have followed a fairly consistent timeline, with each one being in chronological order. These wrap-up chapters break from that, either taking place in the near future or in the distant past. The next proper chapter will resume the timeline as normal.

Land of the Roses
Season 1 Wrap-Up #1: The Stolen Tome​

Silvergarden Royal Archives, November 1872

"Now where is it..."

An elderly man in a hooded robe navigated a dark and musty maze of bookshelves, lit only by a collection of dim candles that were scattered around the room. In his hand was a scrap of paper with the words 'Raeghan Doran: Orb Study' written on it, accompanied by the numbers '11', '92' and '.27'. He frequently compared the numbers to those engraved into the ornate bookshelves until he had finally found what he was looking for.

"Lord Doran's research... at last..."

He looked side to side in a suspicious manner to see if anyone was watching him, then grabbed the decaying, leather-bound book and hid it under his robe. With the book safely within his possession, the elderly man slinked into the shadows, never to be seen in the archives again.

- - - - -​

It was a dreadfully snowy day; visibility could be measured in mere inches and the biting chill of the wind would drive any sane person indoors. Yet through the blizzard, the elderly man made his way into the wilderness, towards his final destination: Alben Tower.

Eventually, he reached the walls that surrounded the tower and passed through the exquisitely designed cast iron gate. Rather than approach the main entrance, he made his way to the rear of the tower, ending his journey at a large metal door. He knocked five times in a specific rhythm.

The small window on the speakeasy door slid open and a gruff man's face appeared on the other side of the door. "Lord Alben expecting you?" he barked.

"No, but his mistress is," the elderly man replied.

The door guard glared at him suspiciously. "Mistress? Lord Alben ain't got no mistress! Bugger off!"

"He does. Lady Candlefire."

The guard's eyes narrowed even further, almost to the point where they shut entirely. "What's your name?"

"Thomas Hollingshead."

The small window on the door closed with a bang before a series of locks could be heard opening on the other side. The door slid open and the man motioned for Thomas to enter. "Right this way, Mr. Hollingshead. Lady Candlefire is in her study."

The study was a cozy and packed room; one wall was dedicated to a small library, with hundreds of books neatly stored in alphabetical order by author and further divided by subject. Another wall housed a collection of curios and artifacts such as crystals, unlabelled burlap satchels and an enormous collection of polished brass trinkets. A roaring fireplace warded the room from the biting chill of the outside world, while a large window on the other side of the room offered a view of the raging blizzard. A globe sat under the window, with several locations across the world marked with red pins.

In the center of the room, behind a heavy oaken desk, sat a young woman; silky blonde hair that dangled to the floor obscured her face. She was clad from head to toe in black clothing, not a common trend at the time, a look that was complimented by intricate and priceless golden jewelry set with purple, black and grey gemstones. Her sharp blue eyes darted back and forth as she studied the manuscript that was in her delicately manicured fingers. Not even a heavy knock on the door to the room broke her concentration. "Come." she said in a flat and disinterested manner.

Thomas entered the room and reached into his hooded robe, retrieving the book that he had taken from the Royal Archives. Without a word, he placed it onto the desk in front of the woman.

The woman's eyes left the pages in front of her and rested on the book. "Is that... It is! Lord Doran's research!"

"A gift for you, Maphesia," Thomas said.

She put down the book that she had been reading and carefully picked up the decaying tome that rested on her desk. She ran her finger across the top of the cover in a loving manner. "How difficult was it to walk away with this book?"

"The decision to was harder than the act, that's for certain. It seems the Greybells do not take security as seriously as they used to. This tome was filed away just like any other."

She nodded. "Yes, I understand that you've risked much to bring this book to me. But that risk will pay off once we unravel the secrets within."

"And what secrets might those be?"

She glared at him. "You ask too many questions. Never you mind the details. Just appreciate the results."

"Yes ma'am. Sorry ma'am."

She waved him away in a dismissive manner, her attention fully wrapped in the book in front of her. "Now, leave! I need to get started on this!"

Raeghan Doran: Orb Study

I was very fortunate when the false king Antial II of Clan Greybell appointed me lord of these lands. That fool knows not the gift he has given me, the eternal curse he has bestowed upon his lineage.

These lands hold power unlike anything else in the kingdom. I speak of the orbs, the enchanting lights that linger in our forest. I thought nothing of them at first: curious nuisances at best, as they terrified those miserable wretches that tend to the land. But my advisor in the arcane, Lady Mishel, encouraged me to listen to the plight of those wretches, and that I did. Their stories about the orbs intrigued me. They had all sorts of imaginative stories about the orbs, some that caught both my and Lady Mishel's attention.

The most common claim is that these orbs are the spirits of the dead. I don't know where this belief originated from, but it is a claim that I am confident my advisor and I have proven. We managed to capture one in a containment vessel. Months of study and experimentation followed. I myself led the experimentation, calling upon the rituals of old that my ancestors employed during the civil war many centuries ago. I talk of blood magic, the art of extracting the very essence of life itself and using it for other purposes, be they benign or malevolent. Many of those wretched commonfolk who work my land were sacrificed and drained in our experiments until eventually we came to our conclusion that the orbs are indeed the spirits of the dead, the pure energy of death.

Though the orbs contain great potential, they are useless without the catalyst that unlocks their power: the blood of man. It is a dangerous gambit we make with our continued research. With so many people going missing, suspicion is growing. Thankfully, that wretched lot is gullible and believe our stories about the monsters that lurk in the forest... but we do have to be careful.

My knowledge of the old arts is only partial; many manuscripts which detailed the workings of blood magic were destroyed upon the establishment of the Greybell dynasty. We learn just as much about the art as we do about the orbs... One thing is for certain: just as not every man is the same, nor is the blood that flows through his veins. Some are virtually useless to our ongoing research, while others are unusually bountiful. We do not yet know why this is, but Lady Mishel has taken a liking to sacrificing young women...

Lady Mishel has already mastered the energy within the orbs. She has ensured the bounty of our harvests through her incantations and spells. She has strengthened the men of the Tracker's Guild and guaranteed the security of my lands. She has healed ill and wounded lords around the kingdom, earning us quite a bit of tribute money. Her spells have even given rise to the forges that supply dark iron weaponry to the trackers and knights. We are quickly rising in power, both in men and money; we may soon be able to challenge the Greybells for control of Silvergarden, but I will not start a war with just man and mundane metal. No. I will bide my time, I will work with Lady Mishel to increase our capabilities even further until we may crush them with barely a lifted finger.

Perhaps the most promising of Lady Mishel's experiments is not that which strengthens our armies, encourages the loyalty of our commonfolk or even lines our coffers with the finest gold in the kingdom... I have known her for over fifty years at this point. I have watched her grow from a beautiful young lady into a wizened old woman, frail with age. Yet... I have noticed something odd over the past few months: she grows younger by the minute. I still remember that golden face she had when we were lovers in our youth. That golden face has returned. Through the power extracted from the orbs, she has turned back the ravages of time.

If she has mastered that eternal fate that has plagued mankind since its creation, perhaps she can do more. Perhaps... she can restore the dead to life? No doubt, more research must be done, more sacrifice must be made.

In the following pages, I will detail our research and arcane methods. In time, trusted colleagues can be recruited and this knowledge can be shared. Nothing will stop us from our goal: ending the false monarchy of the Greybells, and restoring our True King.
​

"At last... Lord Doran, your work will continue..."

 

[Misfit Angel]

Land of the Roses
Season 1 Wrap-Up #2: Spare Parts​

Followup Report: Bone Fragment Analysis II, Reiland Institute Medical Wing
Report written by Dr. Venger
Field Work: Emily Winehaus, Heidi Ashcroft, Red Williamson, Dedrick May, Geoffrey Clarke Jr.
Lab work completed by Dr. Venger, Dr. Brink, Emily Winehaus, Geoffrey Clarke Jr.
May 25th, 1:42 PM

I knew something was fishy when our field analyst, Andrea Dennison, described the creature that attacked her in the Spritewood. She called it an 'undead skeletal creature', a description that does not match anything known to science. True, there are Pokémon out there that integrate exposed bones into their anatomy, such as the Houndoom family, or use bones as part of a spiritual culture, such as the Marowak family... But none like the creature described.

In my previous report, I mentioned assembling a team to locate and recover the remains based on Ms. Dennison's advice. She has a very good memory, as the team was able to locate the creature's remains with little difficulty. The difficult part was transport... loading a few boxes of decomposing remains and bones onto a train was something I hadn't initially accounted for and caused a few delays and even a police inquiry, but we finally got our materials back to the lab for testing.

DNA testing on every small piece of this creature's puzzle-like structure has led to some interesting yet... troubling results. This creature is not natural, that is for certain; the genetic profiles for nearly seven different Pokémon species were generated during our tests. I don't need to explain why this is alarming. It is as if this creature was constructed from 'spare parts', like out of some horror novel. But how? By who? And for what purpose? I can have a guess at the purpose, I suppose, judging by the sharp 'arms' it has and the incredible physical capabilities that Ms. Dennison described it as having.

The arms... they were definitely constructed by someone with considerable crafting skill. Knives and blades made of bone were common among our primitive ancestors, but they were crude and were meant more for hacking and stabbing rather than precision cutting. These arms were as sharp as forged steel blades, carved from the ribs of a Wailord. Our analyst is very lucky that she escaped relatively unharmed (she did suffer minor injuries that she has more or less recovered from at this point); I believe that just one swing of this creature's bladed arms would have been enough to cleave her in two, if her account of its agility is to be believed.

The creature lacked much of anything else. Decomposed flesh was incorporated into its structure, likely as 'padding' in the event that it got into a physical confrontation with something. Our initial guess was that it served as muscle for locomotion, but we found that wasn't the case; it wasn't in the right areas and there wasn't enough of it. It also lacked a coherent circulatory system, which is not surprising. We found absolutely no traces of blood anywhere within the creature's system, as if it had been drained entirely prior to 'assembly'.

There were no major organs present, not even a brain. How this creature did much of anything is beyond me. My colleague, Emily Winehaus, suggested it was possible that the creature was being telekinetically controlled from an outside source. It's a theory that has merit, as there are numerous species of Pokémon that demonstrate such marvelous abilities, and it would also explain how this creature was capable of moving with the absence of the required skeletal, muscular and nervous systems necessary for locomotion.

When Ms. Dennison made her initial report about the creature, she described it as having "glowing purple tendrils" that connected the various pieces together. My field team did describe tendrils that connected the bones together, not unlike the tendons and ligaments which keep us together and allow our movement. However, they were not glowing by the time the field team arrived, nor were they glowing at the time that Ms. Dennison took her photos. Was this perhaps an error on her part, a misremembered detail? She was under much stress when she saw the creature... Alas, we may never know unless another one of these eldritch beasts is discovered.

And now for some more grim news. We also found four more human bones within the creature. Of the genetic profiles that we generated, three matched the same profile we generated in our previous test, indicating that three of the bones belonged to our Jane Doe. The fourth generated a different profile, that of a woman of Kalosian ancestry. Again, I will send this new profile to the National Crime Lab to see if we can determine the identity of this individual.

Regarding our Jane Doe, we did come up with an identity thanks to a friend at the National Crime Lab: Moira Winslow. Based on the bones that we recovered (one of her vertebrae, part of a fibula and a rib), we are confident with the grim reality that she is no longer living. She was an eighteen year old woman who lived in the village of Redfern Crossing, and was reported missing during a visit to the city of Alderney in January. Absolutely no evidence of her whereabouts or ultimate fate have ever been found... until now. I can only offer the deepest condolences for her friends and family.

At this time, I am requesting that Dr. Reiland compile any information she may have received about the beast from her colleagues alongside this report, Ms. Dennison's report, Ms. Dennison's photos and the exquisite drawing provided by her associate, Ms. Kimberly Fairbrooke, and send it to those colleagues. We have not reached any solid conclusions yet, which is quite frustrating... I usually find work like this to be simple and straight forward, but this... this is too surreal and too strange. Everything I know is being thrown out the window.

We are on the verge of discovering something marvelous... or horrific. We must dig deeper and find the truth of this matter.​

 

[Misfit Angel]

Land of the Roses
Season 1 Wrap-Up #3: The Spread​

Lanark Ministry of Wildlife
Lady Abigail Plame
Acting Head Minister​

June 2nd

To Dr. Reiland and her esteemed colleagues:

First and foremost, I would like to thank you and your staff for your continued dedication to the preservation of our kingdom's greatest resource, the environment. Through your perseverance and your tireless research, you have shed new light on the delicate ecosystems that are challenged the most by our modern society, and the ways with which we can protect them. You are a shining beacon of hope that this world, or at least our corner of it, will remain pristine and beautiful for generations to come.

Almost three weeks ago, you alerted us to a potential ecological crisis that was emerging in the marshes north of Nettlefield, a crisis we thought we had dealt with over half a century ago. Perhaps we did deal with the Blastcap infestation back then, and it has only just returned. I have spoken with the Head Minister of State, he has promised me that there will be increased scrutiny of goods imported from countries that have known Blastcap infestations to help contain our own.

Regarding the actual infestation site itself, it is much larger than your colleague, Mr. Adelaide, reported and it continues to grow. Our expeditionary team that was dispatched to investigate established a camp about half a mile from the perimeter of the affected area. Within two days, the affected area had grown around the camp and continued a great distance. Based on satellite data and some math, we've determined that this infestation likely started to grow just a week prior to its discovery; it is far more aggressive than the outbreak of the 1960s.

Your report mentioned the possibility that we would encounter a new species of Pokémon, one that is likely related to Blastcap. We did indeed find this new species, and lots of them. The expeditionary team has captured thirteen of these specimens at the time of writing; They are being transported to the Eilean Cailc Research Center off the western coast of Glastonfell to study them in a contained environment.

You are welcome to send a science team to join in the study, and we will give your institute the incredible honor of naming this new species! If you do intend to send a team to study, make sure that they are well trained in dealing with aggressive Pokémon. Several of the Eilean Cailc staff have been injured, some seriously. These creatures do not appear to tolerate the presence of humans.

Containing this outbreak is an ongoing effort. If you have been watching the national news or even looking up in the sky, you will see the billowing smoke from the control fires we have set. At its current rate of expansion, there is no other way to contain it, it must be burnt and destroyed. It pains me to destroy such beautiful wetland, but it is already beyond repair and we must prevent more destruction.

Perhaps this is a consequence of our own policies. Over the past half century, the Ministry has engaged in an aggressive stance of environmental protection. It has been so strict that much of our beautiful countryside is not actually seen by the people that we have been preserving it for, and because of this... we were unaware of the severity of this infestation. Perhaps if more people were encouraged to monitor the countryside, this could have been prevented. A review of this archaic policy is under way.

Thank you.

 

[Beth Pavell]

Not entirely happy that Athena managed to beat me to the punch, but I was falling asleep when I saw the update. Oh well ...

Technical Accuracy/Style
Normally I'd skip this part out, but at the end of the season I suppose now's as good a time as any to do a bit of a retrospective. I think one of the things I like best about Land of the Roses is how little I really think about this aspect. I didn't always get that with Storm Island. I can usually tell when you're not comfortable with what you're writing. Either you've got more confident with your style or you're better at hiding it, because I rarely find that now.

I like the "slice-of-life" aspects of the story. If I may compare it again to Storm Island, they were lacking in that story and that's part of what made it feel rushed at times. They're noticeably shorter - and if we're going to be honest, more to the point - than mine in The Long Walk, but I like how you too have gone for finding interest in the ordinary. One of my favourite little touches from this chapter was Andrea making the point about her skirt - not for fanservice reasons, but because it's the sort of little real life inconvenience that in stories is usually ignored or handwaved away.

Setting
I'm going to put the "realism" comments here rather than under plot. Sometimes I wonder about the workplace dynamics of the Reiland Institute. Usually I end up leaving any doubts out of my review because they don't feel coherent enough to be of any real use - and I often wonder whether it's really more about how I would write it. But in any case it is rare to see a believable police response in a Pokémon story (Usually you can blame the inclusion of Evil Teams for that). I'm always reminded of that joke in Hot Fuzz that bobbies tend to like - how much paperwork police work generates.

Plot
I agree with Athena that it did read quickly - if she hadn't counted it, I wouldn't have noticed that the chapter clocked in at over six thousand words. It's a good season end. I probably would have been tempted to do a real wrap up and start afresh on Season 2, but a few plot threads set up here works better.

I'm a little disappointed that the journeyfic pair is going to be split up at the very least for a while, but that's a "needs of the story" moment - doing the opposite would obviously sink the whole premise behind Andrea's job.

Characters
Our little goth girl's all growed up, aww. What can I say, the tone was right. I've been trying to think of something to pick on, and honestly ... I don't know. The business with the Goofithol was a bit ambiguous ... I wouldn't have blamed you for making Kimberly more evasive over her own emotions. But then maybe she was, since there's nothing in that which rules out her having ongoing mental problems already. It's a clever little evasion that rings true, admitting to one, more easily understandable problem so you don't have to explain the problem you really don't want to talk about.

Funny thing is, you'll get and have got more of a shippy response from these two than you ever got when you were deliberately trying to write romance (Yes, I know, there was that one Kimberly perspective bit). Reminds me of a thought I had the other day about my own characters where there's much the same sort of scenario. The lesson to take home from it, I think, is to earn the emotion (Though Storm Island!Andrea aboard the Beckinshire still rang true as I said then).

 

[Beth Pavell]

The stolen tome wrap-up - well, it's fun, I grant you that, though somewhat on the obvious side. The callous nobleman voice isn't exactly revolutionary. It's the other bits and piece that give more interest. I'm noticing a pattern emerging with the names here. It seems that the higher-ranking characters tend to have names in modern English - Greybell, Candlefire, etc - while others end up with more or less modern English names with longer history - Hollingshead, a fairly straightforward geographical name.

The second wrap-up ... hmm, so I presume this is supposed to be an internal report? I think it would have to be, given that it's written relatively formally but not with much academia in there. My one bone to pick - phrase entirely intended - would be the underlying assumption in there that the creature is manufactured. Given that there are a fair few tool-using pokémon I'd think the possibility that something like this is man-made would be further down the list.

The letter strikes pretty true, I think. Friendly, slightly disingenuous but not completely lacking in sincerity - quite standard fare for political writing, at least when it comes to the sort that we have here in the UK. If you had intended her to be relatively new to the department then the comments about policy at the end make sense, although it would be justifiable for her to pretend that the current business is an entirely unforeseeable consequence. It's somewhat unusual for naming rights to be within the purview of a government ministry - how would that function internationally? Obviously this isn't the first-name-takes-precedence Linnaean system, so does this only have authority in Lanark?

 

[Misfit Angel]

I can usually tell when you're not comfortable with what you're writing. Either you've got more confident with your style or you're better at hiding it, because I rarely find that now.

Little bit of column A, a lot of column B. I do feel like I did an okay job with the emotional aspect of the final chapter, but it was such a struggle. Two weeks and seven rewrites were spent on the phone call alone. >.>

I like the "slice-of-life" aspects of the story. If I may compare it again to Storm Island, they were lacking in that story and that's part of what made it feel rushed at times.

Oh, totally, which is why I've embraced them. Back then, I kinda despised the concept of "slice-of-life" because it was usually attached to those brainless have-no-story-and-do-nothing-but-be-sickeningly-sweet animes and I wanted to distance myself from it as much as I could. Once I started to work them into the latter half of SI, I realized they're both fun to write and extremely important for conveying emotion.

Still, I don't feel like there's enough of them in there. The major plot arc of Season 2 will be focusing on it, so we'll see if I can get in as much as I hope to.

One of my favourite little touches from this chapter was Andrea making the point about her skirt - not for fanservice reasons, but because it's the sort of little real life inconvenience that in stories is usually ignored or handwaved away.

Probably my favorite bit as well! With it, I intended to show that she was serious about embracing her friend's customs, even if it's both incompatible with her own beliefs and the way she's dressed.

Sometimes I wonder about the workplace dynamics of the Reiland Institute.

Yeah, more and more I'm starting to realize this is probably an issue that needs to be addressed, because Andrea has been getting off way too lightly for a new employee. Problem is, I don't know how to fix it. I've thought of going back and rewriting her interactions with her boss, but I feel like that would affect her happiness with her job to the point where she'd act differently and make different choices, which would have plot ramifications. It's tricky.

but that's a "needs of the story" moment - doing the opposite would obviously sink the whole premise behind Andrea's job.

Not necessarily. She was hired for analysis work, not specifically to spend her days in a lab. There are times when that'll happen, but I still intend for travel to be the major focus of her time at the institute. I'm especially weary of cabin fever, considering the Doranshire arc's length. I was growing a little uneasy with staying in place for so long.

The business with the Goofithol was a bit ambiguous

An upcoming chapter (maybe four, five away?) will focus on what this means for her character. This is the first instance of her using it that we've seen because we haven't really had the opportunity to see it before (other than the chapter after Darkest Night. Could have put this there).

Funny thing is, you'll get and have got more of a shippy response from these two than you ever got when you were deliberately trying to write romance. The lesson to take home from it, I think, is to earn the emotion (Though Storm Island!Andrea aboard the Beckinshire still rang true as I said then).

I still regret that scene so much. It was great, but the buildup just wasn't there... I was actually going back and rewriting the first season to help address that issue (as well as improve the overall quality) before I decided to drop the story entirely. Lessons have definitely been learned from that scene and the lack of buildup, though, don't worry.

It seems that the higher-ranking characters tend to have names in modern English - Greybell, Candlefire, etc - while others end up with more or less modern English names with longer history - Hollingshead, a fairly straightforward geographical name.

I'll assume you meant something other than 'modern' for the first bit. But yes, deliberate choice. Some of these family names have been around for generations and thus would sound a bit more oldschool (Fairbrooke is actually one of them, if I ever explain Kimberly's family history), compared to the commonfolk who've had their names morphed and twisted by generations of marriages, misspellings on official documents and the like.

The second wrap-up ... hmm, so I presume this is supposed to be an internal report?

You would be correct. Internal, just as the previous report written by Dr. Venger.

My one bone to pick - phrase entirely intended - would be the underlying assumption in there that the creature is manufactured. Given that there are a fair few tool-using pokémon I'd think the possibility that something like this is man-made would be further down the list.

Perhaps I need to go back and clarify a bit more just how screwed up this creature's anatomy is. Evolution would have stomped this monstrosity out thousands of years ago because it just doesn't make physical sense. Is the inclusion of both human and Pokemon parts together not enough? Besides, I wouldn't trust a human designer who is just experimenting to be the best at designing a functioning creature that can survive on its own; I'd trust a Pokemon even less to do so.

If you had intended her to be relatively new to the department

Not sure how it's done in England, but here, it's entirely likely (and usually the case) for the big boss of a government agency to be politically aligned with one party while their subordinates are probably career men/women who have been there since the opposition party was in power. That's the dynamic I was going for here, especially since she's acting head. With the dismissal of her previous boss, she's in charge now and eager to either relax certain regulations or remove them entirely.

It's somewhat unusual for naming rights to be within the purview of a government ministry - how would that function internationally? Obviously this isn't the first-name-takes-precedence Linnaean system, so does this only have authority in Lanark?

This did cross my mind as I was reviewing it for spelling/grammar mistakes and it's something I don't have an answer for. Maybe the Lanark government does hold international sway, as, in-universe, Lanark is the world's sole global superpower, even more powerful than the US is in our world. A detail I haven't been able to realistically touch on just yet. It would probably make more sense to just fix this somehow, or get rid of it entirely.

Interesting that the dead man and the missing woman are both known.

I think it's safe to assume that since the guy was wanted for being a serial kidnapper/killer, they'd be able to identify him pretty quickly. Being able to identify the woman was probably pretty simple as well, based on the description Andrea gave them: search the town records for a hunter, see that there's only one who is a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes, bam, you've likely got your identification. Was it accurate, or was it a rush to judgement? Who knows!

Only question I have is whether the spell book was found, because that seems like a bit of a giveaway.

It was not. I didn't get to it in the chapter (because it didn't make a lot of sense, given the urgency of escaping their attackers), but in the original draft, Andrea returned to the cabin to reclaim their belongings, only to find that the witch was gone. The witch's targets escaped and they could identify her; she had to flee and she took her most prized possession with her.

 

[Persephone]

Also getting to this while v tired so thoughts will be a bit scattered.

Pt1: There are a lot of things I like here. Chief among them is that our villain is an ancient blood mage. It's always interesting to see a defiance of the "villain is just a morally inverted hero" trope, i.e. tech heroes fight tech genius villains, physical fighter heroes fight other martial artists, etc. The biggest science hero of any currently updating story I follow against a pure magic villain is a nice dynamic.

That was also a way darker explanation for the kidnapping ring than the already hella dark mundane explanation. I was surprised that Land of the Roses is going that much darker than Storm Island's relatively mundane antagonists (outside of the "blowing up a boat" part).

Pt2: I couldn't tell if this was supposed to be particularly scientific or not. If it was, or even if it was just written by a scientist, it wouldn't hurt to throw in the scientific names of the species identified or more numeric-type measurements of things. Even if it's a relatively casual internal report, it's still written by a scientist to a scientist. So maybe make it read slightly more like an actual technical paper? That was always on the brink of pulling me out, although I don't think most of your readers will quite have an environmental-science-adjacent major, so who knows.

Pt3: Heh. Government official trying to casually drum up support for their "open up the preserved lands" agenda through a tragedy. I liked it. Felt like something an actual politician would do. A half mile in a few days is very fast for a fungus, but I guess if the fungus can walk and is sort of magic it works out. Either way, it was nice to cap off the first real arc with a throwback to the very start of the story 100k words ago.

 

[AceTrainer14]

I have read bits of this story in the past for awards and that, but I am grateful for the opportunity to read it proper. Just two chapters in I can see why it has been so popular. It is written in a very simple and straightforward manner but has an elegance and poise that elevates the ‘to the pointedness’ of the story. You have an understated take on writing that is enjoyable to read and doesn’t try to weigh down or turn the story into something it isn’t, and I found myself breezing through the chapters.

Andrea is an intriguing lead, largely as we do not know much about her yet. The brief scene with her father was a nice way to tease out her past and present without explicitly stating anything, and the job interview aspects helped paint a vivid picture of her as well. I enjoyed reading her reactions to their questions and Patrick’s jokes; it all felt very naturalistic and helped put me as a reader firmly into her presumably sodden shoes.

However, I also think that Andrea is where the story stalls a bit in these first chapters. The biggest issue I had was that it felt a little too breezy at points. The events unfold and exposition is given, but there is not a huge amount of substance beyond the world building and scene setting. We get a brief hint at Andrea’s backstory in the first chapter, and the subtle elements such as her style of dress and playing Tetris to pass the time do help paint her as a character. However, it feels like there are some missed opportunities in terms of adding more information.

During the second chapter, we get elements of Patrick and Andrea’s respective personalities and get to see the lab (side note, but where is this lab coming from if it has a twelve restaurant food court? Sign me up for an internship stat), but it’s a bit bare on details. Andrea just seems to think about what is happening and reacting to it, rather than her thoughts being used to introduce her more broadly as a character. When she was waiting for Patrick and looking around at the co-workers, there was a chance for her to think about getting the job and how she didn’t expect it and what it means, which she doesn’t really touch on elsewhere.

And you definitely can’t argue that you aren’t capable of putting in the finer details. I loved how this is an original region, and you really showed out the thought you have put in to making this unique. The mountains, the trainline, the seven hour journey, the lakeside leading to fog and rain, the Edwardian buildings; it all felt so real and I could picture everything. However, similar as above, I think a bit more could have been added. We don’t see any of the town as we get two paragraphs between her walking off the train and making it to the lab: what did she see on the way, how does the town look, is it flat or steep or slippery or sheltered? The touch of how the townspeople were rude felt very true and was a nice touch, but I wanted more of those touches.

One thing that got me thinking was the lack of Pokémon and how they could be a potential way to expand on things simply. We only get Andrea’s dislike for the ‘mons in the second chapter: what if she saw a Pokémon on the train or as she walked up to the lab, how would she react? Similarly, when you described the mountains and the stormy day in the opening paragraph, I instantly thought of what sort of Pokémon would be living around there. It could have been a good way to segue from description to the train by having Pokémon scamper at the sound of the horn.

I definitely enjoyed what I read and your naturalistic take on the characters and the world was a pleasure to read. My main concern is possibly just a personal thing, but I do feel like injecting even a few tiny hints of the wider world that is Andrea in between the interviews and the tour would give the story more urgency and help make everything feel more necessary. Right now, there is a bit of a feeling like things are happening because they need to be, but a few small edits would make a world of difference. I definitely am interested to see how the next 24 chapters and beyond go!

Other notes:

He opened the wooden box and grabbed a small pink device from within.

My mind went to filthy places right here.

"Oh, have you?" she asked.

Whose side are you on?" she smiled

"What's my first project?" she asked.

I've met with a smile that wide on their face." he commented.

you'd go for," The sunshine on her face faded,

other's balls." he said.

This happened quite a lot. I am fairly certain you capitalise the ‘she’ even she there is a question make there. I used to make this mistake quite a lot so I always feel a need to point them out when I see them.

 

[Misfit Angel]

I have read bits of this story in the past for awards and that, but I am grateful for the opportunity to read it proper. Just two chapters in I can see why it has been so popular.

Hooray, glad you're finally giving it a look!

However, I also think that Andrea is where the story stalls a bit in these first chapters. The biggest issue I had was that it felt a little too breezy at points. The events unfold and exposition is given, but there is not a huge amount of substance beyond the world building and scene setting. We get a brief hint at Andrea’s backstory in the first chapter, and the subtle elements such as her style of dress and playing Tetris to pass the time do help paint her as a character. However, it feels like there are some missed opportunities in terms of adding more information.

This could have been a miscalculation on my part, but I wanted to save a lot of the info dumping about her and her past for when she met her first quasi-permanent travel partner. Doesn't take long for the two to meet, so you shouldn't be waiting too long for background information on her to start coming in. Not to mention some of the stuff in the chapters before that.

side note, but where is this lab coming from if it has a twelve restaurant food court? Sign me up for an internship stat)

You know, I hadn't really thought about it in that sense. I'm assuming that a cafe would pay for rent/space so that they can operate, and in turn generate revenue for the facility. Whether this is actually how it works in the real world is beyond me.

As for why it even has kitchen equipment in the first place that can be rented out: this isn't a detail I touched on at all in the story so far, but the building used to be a mental hospital before it became the Reiland Institute. All those nutjobs needed to eat!

Andrea just seems to think about what is happening and reacting to it, rather than her thoughts being used to introduce her more broadly as a character. When she was waiting for Patrick and looking around at the co-workers, there was a chance for her to think about getting the job and how she didn’t expect it and what it means, which she doesn’t really touch on elsewhere.

Noted! Something I want to/should work on.

We don’t see any of the town as we get two paragraphs between her walking off the train and making it to the lab: what did she see on the way, how does the town look, is it flat or steep or slippery or sheltered?

The cobblestones under her feet as she sullenly fights through the bitter cold on her way to her destination. Actually, this is probably the area I'll expand when I eventually do a broader rewrite of this chapter. Good shout.

We only get Andrea’s dislike for the ‘mons in the second chapter: what if she saw a Pokémon on the train or as she walked up to the lab, how would she react?

I wouldn't say that she actively dislikes them, just that she never saw the value in owning them herself. I wanted to move away from the "protagonist actually hates Pokemon" trope because I've done it myself with Storm Island and it was so boring to write. Not to mention that a lot of people just don't do it well, and it's something I don't want to try or be associated with.

Similarly, when you described the mountains and the stormy day in the opening paragraph, I instantly thought of what sort of Pokémon would be living around there. It could have been a good way to segue from description to the train by having Pokémon scamper at the sound of the horn.

I mentioned this on discord, but I'll bring it up here as well. Chapter three actually brings up this little bit. The cold, the rain and the wind would drive most Pokemon to shelter, as it did in this case. However, this is a good thing to keep in mind for the future when the weather isn't so terrible.

but I do feel like injecting even a few tiny hints of the wider world that is Andrea in between the interviews and the tour would give the story more urgency and help make everything feel more necessary. Right now, there is a bit of a feeling like things are happening because they need to be, but a few small edits would make a world of difference.

Hopefully these fears should be laid to rest as you continue onward. There definitely is a wider world out there that I expand upon, as early as chapter 4 and on a constant basis after that. Here, I just wanted to focus on the characters and setting without getting too muddy and complex with irrelevant details.

My mind went to filthy places right here.

Just wait for some of the totally-not-innuendo later on

This happened quite a lot. I am fairly certain you capitalise the ‘she’ even she there is a question make there. I used to make this mistake quite a lot so I always feel a need to point them out when I see them.

First I've heard of this. Looking at published works, Stephen King doesn't do this. In the IRL writing group I was a part of for nearly a year, nobody pointed it out. Similarly, nobody pointed it out in all the time I've been here.

What I've always done is just leave it uncapitalized if I see that it's describing how someone is saying something:

"You're terrible!" he barked in an angry manner.

"I am not terrible." She thought of ways to prove that she wasn't, but nothing came to mind. "Okay, maybe I am a little..." she grunted as her arms folded across her chest in defeat.

I'll definitely look it up and see what the case really is, but I sincerely hope I've not been doing it wrong this entire time. A decade of writing habits is going to be impossible to change.

 

[Flaze]

You must really hate me if you posted four chapters in one go, but fine, I'll bite.

"I like forward to it!"

Look

Chapter 26:

On the whole the chapter is mostly to wrap things up for the season and my opinion of it is pretty nice, you close off Andrea's relationship with Kim (at least for the time being) pretty well and having it so that Andrea has to be the one to leave is a good way to throw us off, considering before it was Kim who was thinking of leaving. I'm still sad that the two won't keep travelling together, but Andrea does have a job to do.

Like Athena mentioned, it's seldom seen for a main character in a fic to have mental/emotional issues and even when we're shown them it's weirder to see them dealing with them in a normalize way, it's usually treated as something that's pretty big to the plot of the character, but with Kim it's something that we've been told about but haven't' seen, and even when we see it, it's treated as something that she's learned to deal with.

If I had any complaints about the chapter is that, while it makes sense for Andrea to be sent back and that it does leave the door open for the plot to continue, it feels like we're leaving Doranshire after having only half of what we thought we were going to get with it. We still don't really know the truth about the orbs or what's going on in the forest, if anything we get more questions. I get that all of that is part of the bigger plot and we'll see more as we continue, but I think you could've still given us some more answers to what's going on, otherwise it just seems like you're keeping us hanging just for the sake of treating it as a complete mystery.

Overall, that's something that I'm generally privy to with this first season. On the grand scheme of things, it's all set up. It's all about introducing the characters and the basics of the plot, as well as the world. It isn't a bad idea on paper, after all, we now have a good hang of our cast and what we can expect.

But when I think about how long this story might end up being and that everything we've seen so far has basically been set up, with very little pay off to it, it does make me wonder if the story is keeping its cards close to its chest a little too much.

Other than that, I'll finish talking about chapter 26 with these quote.

"Even if this meditation stuff isn't for me, I just want to make you feel more comfortable."

Another smile. "Just knowing that you want to give it a try makes me feel more comfortable. There is a problem, however... I don't know how it will work."

You suck for splitting up my ship ;( but those two lines were honestly adorable and awesome and everything that's good with the world.

Now, to be honest, I could tackle each one of the side stories individually, but they're all relatively short and they accomplish the same purpose, so I'll just talk about them as a unit.

Wrap-Up 1-3:

I like to think that each one of these side stories focuses on an element that was left hanging and gives us just a little bit to keep us going. The one that intrigued me the most was the third one, as it takes us back all the way to the Blastcap incident that started the story off which hasn't been talked about as much lately. It's really disturbing to think that these things vanished and suddenly they're back with a vengeance, I want to say that it's connected to the paranormal stuff going on in the rest of Lanark...but I'd like to think that it's a separate mystery all together (especially added to what was going on with the tree).

The first and second wrap up both deal with the same issue, whatever is going on with the weird cult people and what they are making. It's nice to know the name of that witch lady, especially if we're going to see her more, but there's not much to pick from here aside from the fact that the first part feels like a completely different setting. I mostly say that because it reads as if we were in medieval times even though we're in the present and there isn't really much description around it.

The second one gives us more info in regards to the monster and...well it's still creepy to think of where it came from.

And with that season one closes out right before award seasons (you totally planned that didn't you ), I might do an overall review of it (or not, I don't really have time to reread at the moment ) but either way, I hope season 2 comes out fast enough...even if it won't the same without my girl Kim.

 

[Misfit Angel]

You must really hate me if you posted four chapters in one go, but fine, I'll bite

All of it! All the hate!

it's usually treated as something that's pretty big to the plot of the character, but with Kim it's something that we've been told about but haven't' seen, and even when we see it, it's treated as something that she's learned to deal with.

It'll definitely be a bigger problem for her going forward. In the grand scheme of things, she Kim hasn't been in the spotlight for all that long (despite being in the story for 20 chapters), so she hasn't had the opportunity to use it for the reasons she does. After the monster attack before they reached town probably would have been a good place to introduce it. Ah well!

If I had any complaints about the chapter is that, while it makes sense for Andrea to be sent back and that it does leave the door open for the plot to continue, it feels like we're leaving Doranshire after having only half of what we thought we were going to get with it.

There was one last major thing that I was planning on in Doranshire, and that was looking at the (haunted) elementary school. I spent about a month trying to get that chapter working, but it never happened. Besides, it would have been two back to back action-heavy chapters where the characters could have conceivably been killed, which probably would have been too much for my comfort.

I did make references to the ghost on Mill Street, but that was never a true story in the first place. Andrea might not be aware of that, but she honestly can't stomach being in that village anymore after what happened.

But when I think about how long this story might end up being and that everything we've seen so far has basically been set up, with very little pay off to it, it does make me wonder if the story is keeping its cards close to its chest a little too much.

Sometimes I do worry about this. I'm hoping that the upcoming Tamara/Eliza plotline (didn't forget about her!) helps answer some questions in relation to some of the stuff that's going on in Doranshire. We may be leaving, but we're not done with it yet!

It's really disturbing to think that these things vanished and suddenly they're back with a vengeance, I want to say that it's connected to the paranormal stuff going on in the rest of Lanark... but I'd like to think that it's a separate mystery all together

Stay tuned! If I remember to touch on it later on, that answer will come.

but there's not much to pick from here aside from the fact that the first part feels like a completely different setting.

I probably should have clarified what the second part was, as well. When I originally wrote it, I added a simple "A few days later, at an undisclosed location" to the start of the second part, maybe I should add that back. Especially since the readers don't know where Alben Tower is yet.

And with that season one closes out right before award seasons (you totally planned that didn't you )

Not specifically for the awards! I wanted to have it done in time for the one year anniversary release of the story, thankfully I made it!

I hope season 2 comes out fast enough

I've already told you specifically, but for anyone else who's curious, look for the first chapter in early January!

even if it won't the same without my girl Kim.

Don't worry, she's not going away. She's actually getting a pair of chapters to herself

 

[Misfit Angel]

Land of the Roses
Christmas Special
Day of Lovers' Remembrance​

Eighteen months ago
Another peaceful winter day in Goldwheat Meadows, Lanark

"Hey... I'm on the train to Goldwheat Meadows, should be arriving soon. It's kinda relaxing here... I expected the train to be full of people travelling for the holidays, but it's practically just me here. It's nice and quiet... It let me do some thinking... it's been awhile since we've seen each other. I know you've been busy getting your career started, and I couldn't be happier for you, but... I miss you! It's going to be so nice to see you again..."

"Things have been good. Got my final grades back from the autumn semester, they're the second highest in my level. They want me to give a speech at the year's end! Something about celebrating another year of successful studies and to congratulate all of the other university students... Think you'll be there for the ceremony? You know me, I'm not good with public speaking, but it'll be easier if I know you're there."

"So, how have things been? Been getting along well with your new friend? Have you stayed in Loch Alstan, or have you been exploring? If you've been out and about, seen any of the sights out there? I know there's that big tower out that way, and the lake itself... Wish I could have tagged along for your little visit, actually, but I've been stuck back in Aughrim finishing up the last of my exams."

The train lurched forward slightly as the breaks were applied. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are now nearing our final approach towards Goldwheat Meadows and will arrive within fifteen minutes--"

"Oh! I'll be in town shortly! Let me know where you want to meet and I'll be there! Love you!"

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Screeeeeeeeeee...

With the train fully stopped, the doors slid open and the passengers started to file out in an orderly manner. One by one, they rushed to the warmth of the terminal building until the last passenger stepped off of the train. She stopped in her tracks to take in a deep breath of the bitterly cold yet deliciously fresh country air. A smile appeared on her face.

"Home..." she said with a contented sigh.

As she made her way to the entrance of the terminal building, the door opened and a man in a shiny burgundy puffer jacket and ragged grey cargo jeans walked out. Her heart skipped a beat and started to race the moment she laid eyes on him.

"Larson!" she called out as she rushed across the frosted train platform.

"Andrea!" He waved. "There's my dark angel!"

She nearly knocked him over as she embraced him with a vice-like hug. "Ooooh, I missed you so much!"

He chuckled at her enthusiasm, but he didn't fight it. "Relax, it's only been a couple weeks!"

"It's been forever!" she enthusiastically groaned. She leaned in and planted a lecherous kiss on his lips as her hands drifted down his back. "Been wanting to do that for awhile..."

"You're insatiable... And that's why I love you."

She let him go and took a few steps towards the edge of the platform to take in the sights around her. Goldwheat Meadows was just as she left it the last time she visited, only much snowier; white fields of fresh snow stretched to the horizon, separated into oddly shaped plots by walls of stacked stone and frosted, towering hedges. Tall, wiry trees that had lost their leaves in the previous month towered over the fields and shaded the farmhouses. Through the fog, the three-towered skyline of Goldwheat's commercial heart loomed in the distance. Over it all, the snow fell slowly and peacefully, a silent constant.

"Good to be home..." she said.

He looked around at the snowfall before studying her closely. Her dark attire was a very clear contrast to the white scenery around her. He felt that it brought out his favorite aspects of her, chiefly her personality and her curves. "You stick out like a sore thumb in this weather!"

"I know, isn't it great?" She stretched her arms out and twirled about with a smile on her face. "I love snow! We really don't get enough of it in Aughrim."

"Yeah, we don't. But you've gotta admit, it is nice not having to dig yourself out every morning."

"True..."

He slung his backpack around, opened it and started to dig around in it. "Brought something for ya."

She took a cautious peek into his backpack, but couldn't see anything. "It's not my Lovers' Remembrance gift, is it? I can wait a few days, I don't mind!"

"Oh, no," he said with a smile and a laugh. "Got something much better saved for that."

"Oooh... bet I know what it is."

His hand emerged from his backpack, wrapped around a black bottle of wine that was decorated with silver stripes. He offered the bottle to her. "Just a little gift for my angel."

The label on the bottle was primarily purple in color and featured an artistic rendition of an exploding heart on one side and a gnarled, barren swamp tree on the other. Between the images, spiked silver lettering spelled out the name of the wine: Heart Attack. The deep red liquid inside shined brightly through the darkened glass as she moved the bottle about in her hands.

"Heart Attack? I like the sound of it already." she said as she inspected the cartoonish design on the label. "I don't drink much, but... Then again, I can only afford the cheap awful stuff."

"Figured you deserved something nice for a change."

She wrapped her arms around him again and embraced him lovingly. "Thanks! The start of next semester is going to be so much easier now..."

"If you still have it by then. You're lucky I didn't drink that, it's reaaaaal good! Made from apricots."

"Apricots, huh... strange choice for wine, if you ask me. Maybe we can share it over dinner tonight?"

He nodded. "You bet."

She crammed the bottle into her purse as far as it would go, but the neck poked out from under the top flap. "So... my place, or yours?"

He wrapped his arm around her and started walking with her down towards the main artery that ran from downtown into the white wilderness. "As much as I'd like otherwise, let's go to your place. I'm sure you're looking forward to visiting your parents, and I know they're eager to see you again."

"Did you get my message, by the way? I sent you a voice mail as I was coming into town."

He nodded. "I did. Figured I'd wait for you."

"That's so thoughtful!"

He chuckled. "Things have been great! Been really enjoying my time out in Loch Alstan, but I'm getting ready to move on. I'm super psyched that I'm finally getting into the world of competitive Pokémon training."

"Your new friend okay with that? What was it you chose again, a Charmander?"

"Yeah." He let go of her to reach into his pocket, then pulled out a traditional red and white Pokéball. It had already seen heavy use in the past two weeks; scratches and scuffs could be found all over and the reflective sheen found on most Pokéballs had already faded. He tossed the Pokéball into the air and it exploded with a flash of warm fire, a welcome treat in the cold weather.

An orange bipedal lizard dropped from the sky and landed in the snow. He looked around at his surroundings, then up at his master. He let out an excited shriek that carried with it a flicker of flame as he bounced through the snow to snuggle against Larson's leg. All along the way, the scorching flame at the tip of his tail melted the snow around him, leaving a dangerous trail of wet ice behind him.

"There's my buddy!" Larson said.

Andrea knelt down to get on the Charmander's level. "Hey there, little guy! I'm Larson's girlfriend, Andrea!"

The Charmander grasped Larson's pant leg even harder and let out a rasping whine at Andrea. More than just a flicker of flame escaped his mouth this time, sending her tumbling backward into the snow as a precaution. It scared her, but he meant no harm; if anything, he enjoyed intimidating her.

"Figures you'd pick this one!" she said as she pushed herself out of the snow. "You were always reckless as a kid, it seems you never outgrew it."

"I was powerful as a kid, there's a difference," he said triumphantly.

She brushed the last of the snow off of herself. "Did you give him a name yet?"

"Yeah, Drake. He may not look like much now, but this guy's gonna be a bad ass dragon when he grows up. He needs a name fit for that form."

"Drake... I like it."

And so they continued out into the cold, heading home to prepare for the upcoming holiday: the Day of Lovers' Remembrance...

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The Day of Lovers' Remembrance... What is it, you ask? Why, it's an old tradition in Lanark, traced back over a thousand years...

Legend has it that two lovers from opposing clans, Greybell and Dornoch, met in secret for a dozen years. Their families, unaware of these clandestine meetings, skirmished against each other for control of the Northcountry. As time passed, their love for each other grew and the hatred between their families widened. Eventually, the Greybell man inherited the throne and became King of Lanark. Their love affair came out of the shadows, much to the shock of everyone. No longer a secret, the two solidified their relationship with marriage, an act that brought peace between Lanark and the Northcountry. Though their reign together was short and met a tragic end, the peace held. The Day of Lovers' Remembrance is celebrated so that none may forget the endless power of love and the harmony it can bring.

The marriage between the king and his new queen spawned many of the traditions observed on this day. He gifted her an albino Rapidash as part of the wedding ceremony, while she gifted him the Dornoch Emerald, which eventually became the crown jewel of Lanark. Back in that time, marriage gifts were certainly not a thing, but the royal couple led by example. Another tradition, taken from Clan Dornoch, was the decoration of the Glastonfir (an evergreen tree that typically reaches heights of 14 feet within one year) with golden coins and roses.

As with any tradition, it changes over time. These days, most people celebrate the holiday and the exchange of gifts is no longer limited to husbands and wives. Family, extended relatives and even friends typically receive gifts on this day. The decoration of the Glastonfir still serves as the centerpiece of the holiday, but the ornaments were changed to suit the common folk who couldn't afford golden coins and roses; instead, we typically see glittery tassels in place of the coins, and shining red baubles to represent the roses of old. An increasingly popular twist on the tradition is to decorate the tree with Pokéballs.

Though its roots are in Lanark, the Day of Lovers' Remembrance is celebrated extensively on every continent. Explorers and settlers brought the tradition with them as they established the growing Empire of Lanark. Over the centuries, other countries embraced the holiday as well, bringing in their own variations. It is a day that most cultures can identify with, a day in which peace typically reigns even in the most hostile and war torn environments.

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December 22nd
The Day of Lovers' Remembrance

It was a lively scene at the Heartland Memorial Community Center in the rural outskirts of Goldwheat Meadows: dozens of people gathered in the main lobby of the establishment, a room lavishly decorated with flashing fairy lights, wreathes of holly, and hanging tassels of gold, silver and green. Drawings and paintings made by the town's children over the past month decorated the walls. The calming fragrance of almond incense wafted through the building.

At the far end of the room was the grand attraction of the holiday, the great Glastonfir tree. Decorated from top to bottom with golden baubles, Pokéballs, other ornaments and topped with a silver bell, it was a sight to behold. Every now and then, a pair of attendees would break from the festivities to approach the Glastonfir tree. Dozens of carefully wrapped boxes waited under the tree, each tagged with a name and decorated with glittering ribbons, bows and bells. One by one, the wrapped gifts would disappear as they went to their recipients.

Goldwheat Meadows was known throughout the Kingdom of Lanark as having one of the most festive displays of the holiday. People from across the kingdom, and in some cases across the world, usually flocked to the little town to soak in the sights and participate in the lead up to the Day of Lovers' Remembrance. That year was no different, people had come from all over to participate in the festivities. From the quaint villages of Lanark to the far away shores of Kanto, Shinikara and Alola, people came.

Andrea was usually prepared for outsiders coming to town for the Day of Lovers' Remembrance; after all, she considered herself one of those outsiders for the past couple of years, even though she'd grown up there. She spent a few extra weeks gathering up her savings to make sure that a few extra people had a gift of some sort, even the strangers she didn't know. Her gifts usually never amounted to much, but it was the thought that counted, she reasoned, and helped to spread the cheer associated with the holiday.

The amount of people who came to the party was a little overwhelming for her, especially considering that most of them were strangers or people she hadn't seen in years. Well out of her comfort zone, she attempted to pass the time near the drinks table until she saw someone she recognized. Even then, she didn't put a lot of effort into scanning the crowds for friends or family. As she poured herself a glass of sweetened apple cider, she jumped in fright and nearly dropped it when she felt someone poke the low of her back from behind.

"Boo!"

The fright quickly faded when she turned around to see an old friend, Caitlin Wintersbite. "Oh my gosh! It's Kate!"

"It's me!" the woman nodded.

She gripped Caitlin in a bear-like hug. "I haven't seen you in so long!"

"Yeah... Been pretty busy with life, I guess. But I'm back for the holidays!"

"I heard you might be showing up, so I got you something just in case." She led Caitlin across the room to the great Glastonfir tree.

"That's so sweet, you didn't have to!"

She dug through the mountain of gifts that sat under the tree until she found what she was looking for: a small package wrapped in shiny, candy pink paper. "I felt it was the right thing to do. Even if you didn't show up, at least I had something extra for someone else!"

Caitlin grabbed the package and gave it a gentle shake, but it didn't make any noise. "Wonder what it is..." She tore away at the paper and found a collection of three leatherbound notebooks, each engraved with her name in shiny silver lettering. Each was accompanied by a fountain pen.

"I don't know how useful it will be, I'm not sure what to get for a professional author."

Caitlin pulled her in for a hug. "Thank you! That's very thoughtful, I can always use more notebooks for my stories! Speaking of, I got something for you, too. I know how you're more a fan of grim fantasy stuff, but..." She knelt down and grabbed her own gift from under the tree, then handed it over. "I figured that I'd get you a signed copy of my latest novel."

"Oh! Should be, uhh..." she said, trailing off. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she wasn't aware of what Caitlin had written most recently, so she feverishly removed the starry night wrapping paper around her gift. "The Mercury Star, huh? I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with it."

"It's about the early era of human space exploration. It might be a bit too optimistic for your tastes, everyone gets along."

She playfully covered a fake yawn before flipping through some of the pages. "No, it sounds interesting! I'll give it a read when I get back to university."

"Let me know what you think, okay?"

"Will do."

Caitlin's attention quickly shifted to the crowd over Andrea's shoulder. "Oh! Looks like Eliza's over there, I'm gonna go bug her. It was good seeing you again!"

"Yeah, same. We should hang out later, I miss our adventures together."

"I might be around," Caitlin said with a smile. "We'll see." With that, she set off and disappeared into the crowd.

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The festivities continued as the residents of Goldwheat Meadows merrily mingled with each other and the numerous guests that had come to town. Andrea took the time to catch up with old friends she hadn't seen in years, always a favorite Lovers' Remembrance tradition of hers. Every now and then, she'd distract herself by looking toward the entrance to the community center, hoping that she might see her friend Larson finally arrive. Instead, she saw a young woman enter in from the cold, huddling her arms together in an attempt to warm up.

After a few minutes, she noticed that the young woman appeared to be a loner, as she hadn't socialized with anyone at that point. She was curious and approached in a cautious yet friendly manner. "Haven't seen you around here before."

The young woman looked up at her. "Huh? Oh. Umm. That's because I'm not from around here."

"Oh? Where you from?"

The woman eyed her suspiciously and hesitated to answer for a moment. Her attempts to get rid of Andrea by giving her the cold shoulder appeared to fail after a moment, so she gave in. "Sinnoh. Sandgem specifically."

"Wow, you're a long way from home."

"Yeah... Just doing a little sight seeing before I go back, I guess... Looks like I picked a good place to visit... they don't celebrate Lovers' Remembrance much where I come from, but I do. Nice to see some enthusiasm for it for once."

"We're always happy to have people visit!" she said. She took the opportunity to seat herself across the table from the stranger. "Name's Andrea, by the way."

The woman looked a little nervous and wanted to find a way away from this oddly friendly stranger. However, she realized it probably wouldn't hurt to return the favor. "Annie."

"Cute name!" she smiled. "So, umm. That jacket of yours, doesn't look like it's in great shape. You looked cold when you walked in!"

Annie looked down at her jacket and shrugged. "Ehh. It is a little colder than I expected."

She knelt down and started to dig through the gifts again. "Well, I got this for someone else, but... you look like you could use it more than them."

"What about them, though?

"I'll get her something else later. I think she'd be disappointed with it, anyways, I never know what to give her."

"You really don't have--"

She handed a cylindrical bundle over to Annie with a nod. "No! I want to!"

Annie stared her down for a second, but finally accepted the gift. She unwrapped it to find a thick and warm-looking baby blue trench coat. It was immaculately soft the touch, much softer than what she was wearing at the moment. A smile appeared on her face as she slipped the coat on to try it out; much to her joy, it fit almost perfectly. "Thank you."

"Mhmm!"

"Well, uhh. I'm going to go and... try to mingle, I guess."

"By all means, have fun and happy Lovers' Remembrance!" she called out as Annie slinked away. "Hope I made her day a little brighter..."

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More time passed. Andrea was starting to grow tired from the energetic atmosphere around her, but she was determined to stick around; this had been the most social she had been all year and with her busy student life, it felt like her only opportunity, an opportunity she didn't want to waste. But more important than socializing was seeing Larson that day, and that was something she was ready to wait all day for.

She worried that he might have slipped into the party unannounced and scanned the crowds for him. She didn't find him, but she did notice someone standing in the corner, all alone, observing the festivities from afar. Like her, this person was dressed in dark clothing; it was a tenuous connection, but one she felt. She broke away from her group of friends and decided to visit.

"This spot taken?" she asked as she joined the lonesome individual in the corner of the room.

"Hmm?" they responded.

"I saw you all alone, I figured I might come over and chat. Enjoying Lovers' Remembrance?"

They stared at the crowds around them. "Yeah, I'm here alone. Not sure why I'm even here, this holiday never interested me. People don't celebrate it where I'm from."

She picked up on their accent and identified it quite quickly. "Sinnoh, right?"

"How'd you figure?"

"A little while ago, I was talking to a girl who's visiting all the way from Sinnoh, too. You two have the same accent."

"Curious..." They cautiously waited for a moment before continuing. "My name's Zia, by the way. Zia Carver. I was passing through this town and heard there was some sort of festival going on. Curiosity got the better of me... just here to warm up, too. Colder than I'm used to out there."

"I'm Andrea," she said with a nod. "Since you are here, what do you think about this whole holiday?"

"It's... a strange tradition. But at least the atmosphere is nice. Everyone seems friendly."

She smiled. "I know a lot of these people and they are."

Zia looked around at the hustle and bustle with curiosity. "A lot of people are exchanging gifts with each other... I guess that's something you do for this holiday?"

"It's mostly gift giving rather than exchanging, especially at public gatherings like these."

"Mmm."

"Speaking of, have you gotten anything from anyone?"

"Me? No. Why would anyone give me anything?"

"To make you feel like a part of the community! I can get you something, if you'd like. There's always a couple extra gifts floating around."

Zia thought about it, and appeared to be quite pensive. "It would be rude of me to turn down a gift, right?"

"A little, maybe. Let's go over to the tree and find it for you!"

"I'll stay here, if you don't mind."

She shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'll be back in a minute!"

Zia watched as she rushed to the Glastonfir tree and pushed aside some of the larger boxes. She appeared fretful as her search turned up nothing until she eventually found what she was looking for: a small box that fit in the palm of her hand, abandoned under the dark shade of the tree. She returned in a hurry.

"Looks awful small..." Zia commented to themself.

"I was worried someone might have walked off with it!" Andrea said with a nervous laugh as she presented the box to Zia. "From me, to you, as a sign of our friendship."

Zia disagreed with the sentiment, but accepted the gift regardless. Inside was a small chunk of purple glass-like rock, scratched and fractured, expertly wrapped within a silver wire and attached to a chain. Zia immediately recognized it. "A dusk stone, huh? Of all the precious stones, these are probably my favorite."

"Yup! A friend found it in a park and gave it to me as a gift. I have no use for it, so I had it turned into a pendant. I think it'll match you pretty well."

Zia clasped the pendant around their neck and let it hang above their fleece sweater. "It's very beautiful, thank you."

"Of course! Happy Lovers' Remembrance!"

An awkward moment of silence fell over the two before Zia broke it. "You mentioned there was someone from Sinnoh here. Where is she?"

Andrea scanned the crowd in search of Annie until she found her alone, studying the paintings and drawings that hung from the walls. "Right over there, she's the one with the blonde hair."

"I might go try talking to her."

"Have fun!"

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Tick... Tock... 5:00 PM came and went as Andrea awaited her friend's arrival. Impatience was starting to get the better of her, as was the energy of the room around her. She stepped outside for some fresh air and a break from the party, but the bitter chill in the air caused her to reconsider. As she was about to head back inside, she saw a young woman approaching the community center; behind her, an Umbreon followed closely.

Andrea marvelled at the golden rings on the Umbreon's fur as they glowed in the darkness around it. "That's such a beautiful Umbreon!"

"Thank you, ma'am," the woman said. "You hear that, Sombra? Yet another fan!"

The Umbreon yipped with happiness, prompting Andrea to drop to her knees and pat its soft, silky fur. The interaction only furthered its happy mood.

As she ran her fingers through Sombra's fur, she thought about the Umbreon's name and why it sounded so familiar. "Wait... Sombra?" She took a moment to look over the woman's features to confirm her suspicions. "Are you... Are you Sarah Villareal, by any chance?"

The woman nodded. "I am. You know of me?"

"Kinda. When I was studying for my finals a couple weeks ago, I had the Pro League World Cup matches on as background noise. You competed in those, didn't you?"

"Yup! Semi-finals!"

"Wow, look at me, talking to a celebrity..."

Sarah blushed. "Oh, please! I'm no celebrity."

The cold began to overwhelm the both of them, forcing them to retreat into the community center. Sarah was a little bit overwhelmed by the atmosphere inside, completely taken by surprise by the amount of people who were present. At the same time, she was surprised that most people ignored the presence of her and her Umbreon.

"So what brings you here?" Andrea asked.

"I'm in the middle of a world tour as part of my Pro League appearances. I'll be in... Au... Ogg... Ogghim? Next week."

"Aughrim."

Sarah raised her eyebrow at Andrea's correction. "Such a strange name for a city... Anyways, I heard a lot about this little town's festive spirit for the holidays, so I took some time to visit. It was a good idea, I like what I see. I wish people in my homeland celebrated it with the same enthusiasm."

"Do you celebrate it?"

"I do."

"Ah, bummer you're not home for it, then."

"Yes..."

Her heartstrings were tugged upon as she heard the melancholy tone in Sarah's voice. "I usually pick up a few extra gifts for the holiday, why don't I get you something?"

"Are you certain? I don't really--"

"It's fine! Come, follow me!" she said. "You too, Sombra!"

Once again, Andrea dug through the dwindling pile of gifts under the Glastonfir tree; she nearly had to disappear under the tree itself to retrieve the next gift, prompting some confused looks from Sarah and Sombra. Eventually she emerged with an unwrapped gift in her hands: a miniature plush replica of Snorlax.

"Oh! It's cute!" Sarah said excitedly. She held it out in front of her. "What do you think, Sombra?"

Sombra sniffed at the plushie for a moment before bouncing up and down with excitement. She snuggled up against the plush as she brushed her head into her trainer's legs in a loving manner.

"I think she likes it," Andrea said.

"I do, too. Thank you!"

"You're very welcome! Enjoy the party!"

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Bong... Bong... Bong...

The deep and bellowing chime of the Hoot-Hoot clock rang over and over; 8 PM had arrived. Frustration welled in Andrea as she waited patiently for Larson to arrive, but it appeared that he wouldn't, so she decided to spend her time socializing instead. She was firmly planted in the center of the room, surrounded in the company of her friends. As she finished a boring story about her university studies, she broke away from the group to grab another drink.

At the refreshments table, Andrea saw a peculiar sight: seated on the far end of the table was a small golden creature that would barely reach up to her knees had it been on the floor. She instantly recognized the creature as the enigmatic Abra, one of her recent study subjects at university. Its eyes were closed, but it appeared to be visually tracking a young girl nearby.

As Andrea approached the table, the Abra disappeared in an instant; on top of the bookshelf behind the table, the Abra reappeared and instead turned its focus to her.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you!" she called out.

The young girl that was once the Abra's attention spoke out. "He knows that. He's already read your mind."

"He yours?"

"Mhmm." The girl nodded as she took a sip from her drink. The faint smell of alcohol wafted from the cup.

An alarm bell rang in Andrea's mind. "Aren't you a little young to be drinking that?"

The girl took a moment to study her appearance, then took another sip of her drink. "Pfft. Aren't you a little old to be playing vampire princess?"

"Who said I'm playing?" She raised her hands in a playful, monster-like fashion and made a hissing noise.

It got a giggle out of the girl. "If you say so."

"You, on the other hand... that's a fancy sweater you've got there."

The girl looked down at her knitted sweater dress, awash with vibrant patterns of red and green fabric. Loose white and yellow strands hung from various parts of the dress, while the bottom was decorated with small dangling pine cones. It was a bit gaudy and too noisy for Andrea's tastes, but when she took a step back to analyze it in its entirety, she realized that it was meant to look like a Glastonfir tree.

"Thanks. Made it myself."

"Serious?"

The girl raised her eyebrow in disbelief. "Don't tell me you actually like it."

"It's... it's ugly, but I thought that's what you were going for."

The girl laughed and smiled. "I like you. You're a weirdo, just like me." She turned around and looked at the party as it continued around them. "I like all of this, in fact. I don't get to experience stuff like this very often. Life is not very kind to me... This is a nice change of pace."

"I'm glad you feel welcome."

"Name's Vanessa, by the way," the girl said.

"Andrea Dennison." She filled her mug once more with the apple cider, then sighed heavily as she looked at her watch.

"What's the matter, you look a little bummed. Or is that part of the whole vampire act?"

Andrea let out a polite laugh. "No... I've been here since noon, and... like you said, the atmosphere around here is nice, but I'm getting a little sick of it."

"Why stay, then?"

"A friend of mine was supposed to be here, but he hasn't showed up yet. I'm wondering if he'll even come at this point."

"He can't be that important, can he?"

"He's my boyfriend. I'd say he's pretty important."

"Oh."

"It's not just that. I got him a pretty expensive gift for Lovers' Remembrance, I'd be more than a little miffed if he didn't get it today. Oh, speaking of gifts, have you gotten any from anyone here?"

"I haven't."

A light bulb flashed in Andrea's mind as a smile appeared on her face. "Just so happens I picked something up that might be up your alley. Let me go get it. Be right back!" She placed her mug onto the table and rushed over to the Glastonfir tree.

Before she could get there, however, Vanessa appeared in a flash; atop her head was the enigmatic Abra. "So you give gifts to total strangers? You are a weirdo."

"Just something I do." She reemerged from below the tree with a small package wrapped in pink paper. She handed it over. "Enjoy!"

Vanessa snatched the gift and tore it open. Inside were several balls of yarn, a few coils of shiny ribbon and a bolt of woven fabric. "Oh, shut up! Are you magic or something? What are the odds that you'd get a stranger something so... so on point."

Andrea shrugged. "Just luck, I guess. I figured that whoever got that would probably try to make something with it, and it never hurts to encourage someone's creativity. But it'll definitely do well in your hands."

"It will. I don't say it often, but thanks."

"You're welcome!"

✲´*。.*¨¯`*✲。*。✲。¨¯`*✲​

"It's almost 9 PM... Where is this jerk?" Andrea mumbled to herself as she fretted by the refreshments table. Her attention was buried in her phone, patiently awaiting a text message from Larson, but one never came. She covered a yawn as she poured some more sweetened cider into her mug. "Why does he always do this..."

"Always do what?" Larson's voice asked from beside her.

She was happy to see him, but there was a tinge of annoyance in her voice. "Oh, there you are! I was about to get ready to go home, I thought you might not be coming tonight."

"Sorry, got a little side tracked with something, but I made it!"

"Side tracked? What could keep you so busy all day? On Lovers' Remembrance of all days?"

He brushed past her question and studied the atmosphere around them. "Lotta people here... Must be some party, huh?"

"Yeah, it is. It's nice to get away from everything and just hang out with your friends and family."

"Yeah..."

"Anyways, Eliza brought this amazing sweetened cider for the party, want some?" Before even waiting for an answer, she grabbed a mug off of the shelf above the table and began to unscrew the amber bottle of cider that rested on the table.

"Nah," he said as he unzipped his jacket and pulled open the left side, revealing a nondescript flask in his pocket. "I'm good."

"Hey! You promised you weren't going to get drunk tonight!"

As he zipped his jacket back up, he reassured her, "This isn't enough for that to happen. Don't worry."

She felt a tap on her shoulder as she placed the mug back onto the shelf in disappointment. She turned around to see a young woman with pastel pink hair behind her, accompanied by a man about the same age as her. "Hello!" she greeted them warmly.

"I hope this isn't too forward, but I love your outfit," the woman said.

Andrea looked down at her black clothing, then back at the woman. "Oh, do you? Thanks, I don't hear that much."

"It's just so striking! Everyone else here is wearing red, white and green... and then there's you, looking like some sort of dark princess."

"That's the idea!"

"The name's Evelina, by the way, Evelina Joy." She rested her hand on the shoulder of her friend. "And this is Josh, one of my best friends."

"Pleasure to meet you, I'm Andrea and this is Larson. I take it from your accent that you're not from around here."

"Correct," Josh answered. "I'm from Kanto, she's from Johto. We decided that a little vacation was in order, and we've heard a lot of good things about Lanark. So, here we are!"

"Huh... Lotta people from that side of the world are visiting today..."

"Evelina Joy... why is that name so familiar?" Larson started, then snapped his fingers as a light bulb lit in his head. "Wait! You're that nurse lady who's the face of all the Pokécenters over in Johto and Kanto!"

Josh giggled as Eve rolled her eyes hard enough for them to nearly pop out of her head. "I am not one of those stupid nurses!"

"You're not? You look just like them!"

"No. Absolutely not. You're probably thinking of Maple or April or Jessica. Or Emily... or Lucinda, or--"

Josh put his hand up to interrupt. "Maybe we should drop this subject. Touchy topic for her."

"My bad, I just thought--"

Andrea jabbed her elbow into his side. "Larson!"

He noticed the glare was receiving from Eve. "Oh. Right."

"So, are you two enjoying the holiday?" Andrea asked.

"We are! I don't think I've ever seen such spirit for Lovers' Remembrance outside of Celebration Square in Goldenrod City." Eve looked around the room and marvelled at the various lights, garlands and wreathes that hung from the walls. "So many decorations... It must have taken forever to put them all up."

Andrea nodded. "It does take a long time, I used to help decorate this place when I was a kid."

"So that's why you disappeared off the face of the earth every December..." Larson added.

"Mhmm. Anyways, I figured I'd pick up a few extra gifts for guests this year, have you guys gotten anything from anyone else?"

Josh raised his eyebrow. "Is that something people do here? We only got each other gifts."

"It's something that I like to do. This holiday means a lot to me and I don't want others to feel left out if I can help it." She knelt down and started to search through the pile of gifts again. She quickly returned with two packages, each wrapped in the same color of decorative paper. "I can't promise you'll like them, but... That's the struggle of buying for strangers, I guess."

"I'm surprised you bought things for anyone at all," Larson said.

"For you," she said as handed the smaller gift to Josh. The larger of the two went to Eve. "And for you. Happy Lovers' Remembrance!"

While Josh was a little hesitant to at first, Eve accepted the gift with grace. "That's very kind of you!" she said. She tore open the wrapping paper and found a small box of ribbons, bows, bands and other assorted hair accessories, all neatly ordered alongside a blue headband that featured rounded, fuzzy ears inspired by Marill. She wasn't the biggest fan, but tried to mask her disappointment. "Oh, umm... Thanks! They're... cute!"

Josh stifled a laugh, earning himself a glare from her. He looked back to his own gift and started to unravel the decorative paper. "Let's see what we've got here, then..." Inside of a small glass case was a fairly simple looking brass compass. The needle inside of it wobbled back and forth in his hand as it pointed towards the north.

There was a hint of disappointment on Eve's face. "Figures he gets the travel aid. This guy is a compass! I can't recall how many times he's navigated himself through the darkness or through a storm without one of those!"

"Hey, if you want it..." he said, offering it to her. "I don't have much use for it."

"We can trade," she said with a nod. She quickly shoved the collection of hair accessories into his arms while snatching the compass. "This'll be much more useful for me."

Josh grabbed the Marill headband and looked it over. "And I suppose you think the same for me?"

"Put it on! I want to see it!"

Andrea and Larson looked at each other in amazement as the two playfully bickered about the headband. "Strange these two aren't a couple, they remind me so much of us..." she whispered to him.

"Oh my god..." Larson said, trying to contain his laughter as Josh placed the headband over his wavy black hair.

"I must look ridiculous," Josh said. He pulled out his phone and turned the camera on himself to get a look. "Uuuuhhh... Right..."

"You look marvelous!" Eve giggled.

"Those ears do look good on you..." Andrea added. "They compliment your eyes."

"See, this girl gets it!" As he reached up to remove the headband, Eve pleaded with him, "Oh! No! Leave it on! You look so adorable!" The cloying tone with which she spoke was almost mocking, but she didn't mean it that way.

"Okay, fine... But it comes off as soon as we leave."

Eve giggled. "Thank you for the gifts! I wish we could return the favor somehow, but--"

Andrea wouldn't hear it. "Don't worry about it! It was nice meeting you! Enjoy the party!"

"We will!"

As Josh and Eve disappeared into the hustle and bustle of the celebrations, Larson commented, "Look at you, you're talking to people! That's a surprise to see, you're not exactly a social butterfly."

She took a sip from her hot cocoa and nodded. "You should have gotten here earlier! I've been talking to lots of people, mostly people who have come in from out of town for the festivities."

"Really... Who are you, and what have you done with my precious Andrea?"

She laughed and playfully shoved him. "Shut up! I dunno, I felt like I knew them somehow, ya know? Got a few of them gifts for Lovers' Remembrance, too."

It didn't make sense to him, and he turned to look at her in confusion. "You know, I wondered about that when we were talking to that couple from Johto. You've never met any of these people before, how could you know what any of them want?"

She tilted her head in thought, looking to the ceiling as she did so, then shook her head. "It's best not to think of these things. What's important is the traditions of this holiday, and making sure everyone's happy."

"Fair enough. I can get behind that."

"Speaking of, I saved the best for last. It's time for your gift!" Under the Glastonfir tree, just three gifts remained, including the one that she had gotten for Larson. It was a small wooden box, carved with Pokéball and rose designs and bordered with intricate Celtic knot patterns. "I put in a lot of extra hours at the restaurant for this. Maybe missed a university assignment or two... but I think it was worth it!" She grabbed the box and handed it over.

"Any gift from you would have been worth it, but thanks for going to the trouble for it. Means even more!" He unlatched the locks and opened the box; inside were six glimmering Pokéballs, topped with a black and copper pattern. A wide grin appeared on his face as he grabbed on of the balls and studied his reflection in it.

"If you're going to take this competitive training thing seriously, I figured I'd give you a head start. Six Pokéballs from the Ultra line. I think they're supposed to be good at catching things?"

"Man! Yeah, these will help a lot!" he said with excitement. "Now I feel bad... these aren't cheap..."

She took in a deep breath upon remembering the price, then nodded. "No. They weren't."

He put the Ultra Ball back into the box and closed it. "Here I was, thinking I was going to blow your gift out of the water, heh." He placed the box onto the floor, then reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out an envelope. "Here's my gift to you, sweetheart."

She eagerly accepted the envelope and opened it to find a small slip of plastic, but not just any plastic; it was a front row ticket to an upcoming Union City Angels music concert, her absolute favorite metal band. She flipped the ticket over and smiled upon learning that it also granted back stage access after the show. "Oh man! This is absolutely perfect! I can't believe you got me this, tickets were sold out in minutes!" She aggressively slammed into him and wrapped her arms around him for a hug.

"Anything for my dark angel!"

"You did blow my gift out of the water..." she said with a contented sigh. "But... only one? Are you not joining me?"

"Unfortunately, I have prior obligations that week... we'll talk about that later. For now, let's enjoy the company of our friends! Even your new ones!"

"Sounds like a good idea!"

✲´*。.*¨¯`*✲。*。✲。¨¯`*✲​

As the festivities continued late into the evening, a distinct ringing could be heard over the ruckus of the guests socializing. In the center of the room, an elderly man tapped a spoon against his empty wine glass. "Excuse me, could I have your attention please!"

The roar of the crowd began to die down.

"I would like to thank you all for coming tonight! This has been one of the most successful celebrations that I can remember, and I've been managing these for nearly twenty years! We've drawn in folks from all over to come celebrate with us. And now, with the night drawing to a close, I'd like to hear what this holiday means to you fine folks. Anyone want to volunteer?"

Silence swept through the room, interrupted by quiet murmurs as people discussed with each other about who might go first.

"Nobody? Surely someone has something to say about this day!"

Larson leaned over and tapped Andrea on the shoulder. "Why don't you go up there?"

"Me? Oh, I couldn't... You know I don't do well with public speeches."

He smiled. "You'll do fine. Besides, the mayor's floundering out there. Someone needs to take the spotlight from him, for his sake."

She bit her lip and hesitated for a moment, but stepped forward. She was anxious about being the center of attention, but felt that someone had to say something. That anxiety quickly faded, however, when she saw the smiles on everyone's faces and the true sense of community that had been established that day.

"Look at all of these bright faces... Happiness, laughter, even a tear of joy here and there... This is the true meaning of Lovers' Remembrance! The gift exchange is nice, the decorations we put up are enchanting... but it's really the friendship that counts, ya know? That bond that brings us together in peace, even if we argue and fight through the rest of the year... This holiday might be about all of us gathering together and sharing the joy of friendship, but we can't forget what brought us together this day."

She turned to address you.

"We wouldn't be here without you. We may suffer from time to time, but... there's good times, too. Times like these, where all of the problems of our lives melt away, when we can leave our troubles behind... Thanks for everything, and know that we deeply appreciate everything that you do for us."

She raised her mug of cider in your honor and nodded with a smile.

"Here's to you! Happy holidays!"

 

[Beth Pavell]

Well, that was fun. Overall not a bad chapter for something that must have been finished in a few days - yes, some bits are ropey, but that's what tight deadlines will do. So far as I can tell the characters are pretty authentic to the stories they come from. Aside from a slight US English twang to the vocabulary Josh and Eve's voices are close to the sort of thing I'd write for them. Funny thing is, Josh is a Johtoan - I suspect you looked up Mulberry on the wiki and found Mulberry City in Kanto. I invented Mulberry Town either before the anime episode aired or before I'd seen it (I forget which). Either way, the error isn't your fault since I don't think I make it clear in The Long Walk.

I did enjoy the thought that went into the Day, given that this was hardly a major chapter. Did you intend it to coincide, more or less, with Midwinter? The cultural sidle over to recognisable Christmas decorations from alternate origins was rather clever.

Incidentally I suspect that Andrea is not the only girl in Larson's life

 

[Misfit Angel]

Overall not a bad chapter for something that must have been finished in a few days - yes, some bits are ropey, but that's what tight deadlines will do.

Ugh tell me about it. It was supposed to be out on December 22nd (the day the bulk of this chapter takes place on) but I was so dissatisfied that I basically rewrote the entire thing from scratch. Then I wanted it out on Christmas... still dissatisfied, but at least I kept large chunks of it for the second rewrite... and now I'm left with this. Something so unforseeabley large and massive that I kinda just had to drop some of the quality if I was ever going to finish it before the conclusion of winter.

Funny thing is, Josh is a Johtoan - I suspect you looked up Mulberry on the wiki and found Mulberry City in Kanto. I invented Mulberry Town either before the anime episode aired or before I'd seen it (I forget which).

Correct! I figured he caught a train, or Mulberry was close to the border anyways, so it worked out in my mind.

Did you intend it to coincide, more or less, with Midwinter?

The intention was more just general Christmas. There is no 'birth of a savior' in my world (or at least not within the context of Lanark, still toying with some other details in other parts of the world) so there's no Christmas, naturally, but I did want to keep the same spirit of "everyone's with family for the end of the year". However, I did opt towards pushing it to Midwinter, as I figured the people who founded this tradition twelve centuries ago would probably still be big on astronomy and astrology, and they might want to celebrate a holiday that's meant to remind people that, though it's the dead of winter, medieval life sucks and you're likely to lose a dozen friends to frostbite, those two royals got married and we should be happy!

Incidentally I suspect that Andrea is not the only girl in Larson's life

Good, I didn't even have to spell it out for someone to pick up on the possibility. We might see some confirmation of this with Larson's upcoming appearance later on in season 2; I put in a few seeds like this to help push that upcoming plot ahead. Hopefully I don't forget about them, because I do kinda wanna put this chapter out of mind already.