UB-01 Kenobi
If she's UB-01, I'm UB-01
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2011
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Author's Note Boring and Skippable Rant
Lumiose City, Kalos
Jean-Claude Legrand was ten. Well, ten and three quarters, as he’d tell anyone who listened. The point is, he was of age, and training season was starting. The boy woke up at five thirty AM, before even his alarm clock - he had been too tired to even sleep the night before. Skipping breakfast, he had biked through Lumiose’s alleys to the world-famous Sycamore Pokémon Laboratory, the workplace of Augustine Sycamore, a prodigious student of the famous Professor Rowan of Sinnoh and an authority on Pokémon evolution and Mega Evolution. When the lab opened at six thirty AM, Jean-Claude was ready and waiting at the front of the long line of ten-year-olds that had formed in front of the lab. He was shaking with anticipation - this was the day he had been waiting for his whole life. He had everything planned out in his head. He would pick Chespin, who resisted the Electric types used by Lumiose’s Gym Leader. That would save him the time of trekking to Santalune or Cyllage like the kids who chose Fennekin or Froakie were likely to have to do. He’d of course catch a Gible in the badlands north of Lumiose to counter the Magnemite Clemont used against new trainers. From there, he’d head to Cyllage and beyond, and he’d become a Pokémon Master.
I can honestly say I didn’t mean to kill him. The wall of the Lab exploded as the armored car crashed through it, a Chandelure floating above the vehicle spewing a Flamethrower to deter my pursuit. I jumped off of Harvey, my Gogoat, and returned him to his Nest Ball, swearing. Regardless of how many times he’d proved himself in battle, he was still the baby of the team - and I didn’t want him out facing a Fire Pokémon. I had been hoping to avoid property damage, but honestly the smoking wreckage of the best research facility in Kalos put us way past that point already. Not to mention the police station that had been destroyed when the SWAT truck was stolen.
Giving up on the idea of avoiding collateral damage, I reached down to my belt and grabbed an old Poké Ball, red paint scratched and faded from years of uses, and pitched it as far as I could. The ball landed near the now-smoking entrance to the Lab, bursting open in a flash of light to reveal a titanic theropod plated with steel armor, a headband tied around one of his horns and flapping in the convection currents caused by the flames. The Aggron had landed in the midst of the crowd of ten-year-olds, unceremoniously squashing the boy at the front of the line. He looked down apologetically and the smeared carcass beneath him as the crowd of horrified kids began to scatter, screaming. I wasn’t particularly impressed with my aiming skills, but I had no time to deal with the Trainer-wannabes.
“Theodosius!” I called, catching my starter’s attention. I pointed at the car. “Head Smash.” Theodosius lowered himself onto all fours and charged the car as it careened onto South Boulevard. While his speed was far from unmatchable by a motor vehicle, the massively bulky vehicle was slowed by trees, garbage cans, people, and Pokémon - flattening structures and brutally crushing any person or Pokémon who lacked the foresight or reflexes to escape its path. My Aggron was quickly gaining on the truck, running through the now-clear swath of destruction that the careening car had cut through the street, and his steel skull was beginning to glow with orange and blue light.
"Oi, back off!" A man had swung open one of the SWAT car’s doors and crawled on top of the vehicle and began to direct the Chandelure atop it. It began to pepper Theodosius with Shadow Balls, the onslaught of necrotic energy causing his armor to begin to crack, but he didn’t slow. The man sitting atop the car swore and returned his Pokémon, ducking down inside the vehicle when he realized a collision was inevitable.
Theodosius slammed into the armored vehicle headfirst, a sickening crunch audible as the armor plates of the car bent inwards and broke as the Aggron ran straight through the vehicle, shearing it in half. A flash of light could be seen before the thunderous explosion was heard, a mushroom cloud billowing into Lumiose’s sky as the punctured gas tank exploded into a massive fireball that rose into the air. The police vehicle had an explosion resistant fuel tank, as far as I knew, but most police cars weren’t built to withstand an Aggron’s Head Smash, especially considering that Theodosius had a Choice Band to juice up his power. I shook my head at what I knew would be an incoming shitstorm from the League and began to jog towards the site of the explosion.
The conflagration was still blazing by the time I finally reached the wreck, panting and out of breath from running. Theodosius had sat down with a facial expression that I knew from years of working with him was a self satisfied smile and had begun to scratch himself with his foot. He gave a happy, metallic creak as he saw me approach and wagged his tail, sending a trash can flying into a storefront and shattering its windows. I cringed, then just sighed and returned my starter to his ball with an utterance of, “Good work, Theo. Return.”
I tore a strip of cloth off of my shirt and wrapped it around my face as I approached the smoking wreck, popping open an Ultra Ball to reveal a dark red lobster like Pokémon - a Crawdaunt. “Knock Off, Bates,” I said as I gestured toward the wreck and began to make my own way towards it, as my Water Pokémon shunted aside the scorching metal with his hammer-like claws in order to clear a path for me. When we reached the crumpled mass of metal that was once the main hull of the vehicle - or at least half of it, considering the extent of the damage that Theodosius had caused - he brought both of his claws down on it to widen a hole opened by the explosion, then helpfully doused me in water as I ducked inside.
The heat was unbearable, even with the impromptu bath - I could feel the water evaporating off of my skin within seconds of entering the wreck. I only needed seconds to confirm my suspicions, however - there was not a corpse to be seen in the vehicle’s wreckage. They’d gotten away, again. I stepped out of the car’s remains, coughing. I removed my improvised mask and returned Bates as I pulled out my cell to call the Pokémon League and let them know what had happened. As my phone rang, I began the walk to the Magenta Plaza Pokémon Center - South boulevard's had presumably been destroyed. I bit my lip worriedly as I walked - they were getting bolder. Smashing into Lumiose’s police station and commandeering an armored SWAT car as a getaway vehicle was awfully ballsy, even for them. Of course, the truck wasn’t our real concern - we were worried about what they’d taken from the lab. On the third ring, my phone died. Of course. Just another day in the life of a Champion.
Sup guys! It's been forever since I've really been around here in any serious capacity, I have no idea who's frequenting this subsection anymore and thus none of you likely remember me, but once upon a time I was a relatively frequently-posting reviewer here and a relatively terrible author as well. It's been forever since I last wrote for Pokémon, but I did like 2 chapters of a relatively well received MLP comedy fic (no link b/c off-site advertisement 
) before dropping off of FiMfiction with a promise that I'd eventually finish it. I do still plan on it. >>; Anyways despite my serious issues with too-short chapters and writer's block and commitment, I swore to myself that I'd write something and finish it and have it be at least only slightly below average and I intend to follow through with that. Twice, preferably, both this and the MLP thing, but once would be good enough. xD So anyways, recently I've been getting the writer's itch (you guys know what I'm talking about, when you just sort of get the urge to sit down and write something regardless of how dumb it is) and I decided to do a slightly more serious fic, and my first one to be told in the first person. So yeah here we have it, the prologue to Like No One Ever Was, clocking in at 1224 words, which will hopefully be around half to a third of the length of a normal chapter. I'll try to update weekly or biweekly but no promises
) before dropping off of FiMfiction with a promise that I'd eventually finish it. I do still plan on it. >>; Anyways despite my serious issues with too-short chapters and writer's block and commitment, I swore to myself that I'd write something and finish it and have it be at least only slightly below average and I intend to follow through with that. Twice, preferably, both this and the MLP thing, but once would be good enough. xD So anyways, recently I've been getting the writer's itch (you guys know what I'm talking about, when you just sort of get the urge to sit down and write something regardless of how dumb it is) and I decided to do a slightly more serious fic, and my first one to be told in the first person. So yeah here we have it, the prologue to Like No One Ever Was, clocking in at 1224 words, which will hopefully be around half to a third of the length of a normal chapter. I'll try to update weekly or biweekly but no promises i wanna be
the very best
like no one ever was
Prologue: Début
“Don’t you see? I’m the narrator and this is just the prologue.”
the very best
like no one ever was
Prologue: Début
“Don’t you see? I’m the narrator and this is just the prologue.”
Lumiose City, Kalos
Jean-Claude Legrand was ten. Well, ten and three quarters, as he’d tell anyone who listened. The point is, he was of age, and training season was starting. The boy woke up at five thirty AM, before even his alarm clock - he had been too tired to even sleep the night before. Skipping breakfast, he had biked through Lumiose’s alleys to the world-famous Sycamore Pokémon Laboratory, the workplace of Augustine Sycamore, a prodigious student of the famous Professor Rowan of Sinnoh and an authority on Pokémon evolution and Mega Evolution. When the lab opened at six thirty AM, Jean-Claude was ready and waiting at the front of the long line of ten-year-olds that had formed in front of the lab. He was shaking with anticipation - this was the day he had been waiting for his whole life. He had everything planned out in his head. He would pick Chespin, who resisted the Electric types used by Lumiose’s Gym Leader. That would save him the time of trekking to Santalune or Cyllage like the kids who chose Fennekin or Froakie were likely to have to do. He’d of course catch a Gible in the badlands north of Lumiose to counter the Magnemite Clemont used against new trainers. From there, he’d head to Cyllage and beyond, and he’d become a Pokémon Master.
I can honestly say I didn’t mean to kill him. The wall of the Lab exploded as the armored car crashed through it, a Chandelure floating above the vehicle spewing a Flamethrower to deter my pursuit. I jumped off of Harvey, my Gogoat, and returned him to his Nest Ball, swearing. Regardless of how many times he’d proved himself in battle, he was still the baby of the team - and I didn’t want him out facing a Fire Pokémon. I had been hoping to avoid property damage, but honestly the smoking wreckage of the best research facility in Kalos put us way past that point already. Not to mention the police station that had been destroyed when the SWAT truck was stolen.
Giving up on the idea of avoiding collateral damage, I reached down to my belt and grabbed an old Poké Ball, red paint scratched and faded from years of uses, and pitched it as far as I could. The ball landed near the now-smoking entrance to the Lab, bursting open in a flash of light to reveal a titanic theropod plated with steel armor, a headband tied around one of his horns and flapping in the convection currents caused by the flames. The Aggron had landed in the midst of the crowd of ten-year-olds, unceremoniously squashing the boy at the front of the line. He looked down apologetically and the smeared carcass beneath him as the crowd of horrified kids began to scatter, screaming. I wasn’t particularly impressed with my aiming skills, but I had no time to deal with the Trainer-wannabes.
“Theodosius!” I called, catching my starter’s attention. I pointed at the car. “Head Smash.” Theodosius lowered himself onto all fours and charged the car as it careened onto South Boulevard. While his speed was far from unmatchable by a motor vehicle, the massively bulky vehicle was slowed by trees, garbage cans, people, and Pokémon - flattening structures and brutally crushing any person or Pokémon who lacked the foresight or reflexes to escape its path. My Aggron was quickly gaining on the truck, running through the now-clear swath of destruction that the careening car had cut through the street, and his steel skull was beginning to glow with orange and blue light.
"Oi, back off!" A man had swung open one of the SWAT car’s doors and crawled on top of the vehicle and began to direct the Chandelure atop it. It began to pepper Theodosius with Shadow Balls, the onslaught of necrotic energy causing his armor to begin to crack, but he didn’t slow. The man sitting atop the car swore and returned his Pokémon, ducking down inside the vehicle when he realized a collision was inevitable.
Theodosius slammed into the armored vehicle headfirst, a sickening crunch audible as the armor plates of the car bent inwards and broke as the Aggron ran straight through the vehicle, shearing it in half. A flash of light could be seen before the thunderous explosion was heard, a mushroom cloud billowing into Lumiose’s sky as the punctured gas tank exploded into a massive fireball that rose into the air. The police vehicle had an explosion resistant fuel tank, as far as I knew, but most police cars weren’t built to withstand an Aggron’s Head Smash, especially considering that Theodosius had a Choice Band to juice up his power. I shook my head at what I knew would be an incoming shitstorm from the League and began to jog towards the site of the explosion.
The conflagration was still blazing by the time I finally reached the wreck, panting and out of breath from running. Theodosius had sat down with a facial expression that I knew from years of working with him was a self satisfied smile and had begun to scratch himself with his foot. He gave a happy, metallic creak as he saw me approach and wagged his tail, sending a trash can flying into a storefront and shattering its windows. I cringed, then just sighed and returned my starter to his ball with an utterance of, “Good work, Theo. Return.”
I tore a strip of cloth off of my shirt and wrapped it around my face as I approached the smoking wreck, popping open an Ultra Ball to reveal a dark red lobster like Pokémon - a Crawdaunt. “Knock Off, Bates,” I said as I gestured toward the wreck and began to make my own way towards it, as my Water Pokémon shunted aside the scorching metal with his hammer-like claws in order to clear a path for me. When we reached the crumpled mass of metal that was once the main hull of the vehicle - or at least half of it, considering the extent of the damage that Theodosius had caused - he brought both of his claws down on it to widen a hole opened by the explosion, then helpfully doused me in water as I ducked inside.
The heat was unbearable, even with the impromptu bath - I could feel the water evaporating off of my skin within seconds of entering the wreck. I only needed seconds to confirm my suspicions, however - there was not a corpse to be seen in the vehicle’s wreckage. They’d gotten away, again. I stepped out of the car’s remains, coughing. I removed my improvised mask and returned Bates as I pulled out my cell to call the Pokémon League and let them know what had happened. As my phone rang, I began the walk to the Magenta Plaza Pokémon Center - South boulevard's had presumably been destroyed. I bit my lip worriedly as I walked - they were getting bolder. Smashing into Lumiose’s police station and commandeering an armored SWAT car as a getaway vehicle was awfully ballsy, even for them. Of course, the truck wasn’t our real concern - we were worried about what they’d taken from the lab. On the third ring, my phone died. Of course. Just another day in the life of a Champion.
