So it's still rather difficult to foresee?
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Long distance relationships - yes or no?
- Thread starter Outcast
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So it's still rather difficult to foresee?
Black★Gold Saw
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It just depends I guess, lots of different things could happen.
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I recently broke up with my first boyfriend and it was long-distance, but it wasn't the distance that ended up being a problem. So I think LDRs can work.
My preference still is for close-distance relationships, though, and I don't think an LDR would be a possibility at all with someone whom I didn't know very well. My ex is my best friend and we'd been close for a few years before we started dating. I definitely couldn't do the LDR thing with, say, someone I just met or someone I've only known online. So on my OkCupid profile, for example, I have my searches limited to "Near me."
At the moment I'm also hesitant to go looking for another relationship because I don't really want to get into another LDR so soon after ending this one, and since I'm more than likely leaving the Baltimore area next fall to go to grad school somewhere else, I feel like any close-distance relationship I start now will eventually turn into an LDR if we keep it going that long.
My preference still is for close-distance relationships, though, and I don't think an LDR would be a possibility at all with someone whom I didn't know very well. My ex is my best friend and we'd been close for a few years before we started dating. I definitely couldn't do the LDR thing with, say, someone I just met or someone I've only known online. So on my OkCupid profile, for example, I have my searches limited to "Near me."
At the moment I'm also hesitant to go looking for another relationship because I don't really want to get into another LDR so soon after ending this one, and since I'm more than likely leaving the Baltimore area next fall to go to grad school somewhere else, I feel like any close-distance relationship I start now will eventually turn into an LDR if we keep it going that long.
Untouchables_666
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Ha, was in a ;omg distance relationship for a while, didnt work out obviously the reason being unfaithfulness but the same thing goes for short term relations however a long distance one requires a great degree of discipline and honesty by both parties
Headless Whoreman
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Long distance relationships hardly ever work out. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just going by what I've seen.
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Re: Long Distance Relationships- how do you cope?
My advice is to not get into it unless you really, really like the person. Long-distance relationships are hard work and can breed a ton of resentment if you find yourself looking at other people a lot, and wishing you could be with them while your current relationship is not giving you any physical satisfaction because the person is far away. For the same reason, make sure you don't go too long without visiting each other. Basically, make it a priority to schedule visits and save up money for gas/plane tickets if necessary.
Keep in touch regularly, but not to the extent that you start to overly-depend on that person as your emotional "crutch." This is a problem even in close-distance relationships, but even more so in long-distance ones since they are not a part of your daily life, so they tend to become where you go to escape it. And also, relying too much on running back to the computer to IM your long-distance bf or gf will end up draining your social life. Make sure you make an effort to continue to hang out with your close-distance friends and stay active in your various regular social activities (here are some tips for how to do that).
Lastly, if you think you should get in an LDR because you don't think you're ready to handle a regular, close-distance relationship (for example, if you're getting together with someone you only know online because you're not confident enough in your appearance/social skills/etc. to try to find someone offline), just....don't. LDRs are HARDER, not easier, than other relationships.
The end of my LDR was inevitable and had nothing to do with the above stuff. But I think that if I had kept those in mind the ending would have been a lot smoother and less stressful for everyone involved.
My advice is to not get into it unless you really, really like the person. Long-distance relationships are hard work and can breed a ton of resentment if you find yourself looking at other people a lot, and wishing you could be with them while your current relationship is not giving you any physical satisfaction because the person is far away. For the same reason, make sure you don't go too long without visiting each other. Basically, make it a priority to schedule visits and save up money for gas/plane tickets if necessary.
Keep in touch regularly, but not to the extent that you start to overly-depend on that person as your emotional "crutch." This is a problem even in close-distance relationships, but even more so in long-distance ones since they are not a part of your daily life, so they tend to become where you go to escape it. And also, relying too much on running back to the computer to IM your long-distance bf or gf will end up draining your social life. Make sure you make an effort to continue to hang out with your close-distance friends and stay active in your various regular social activities (here are some tips for how to do that).
Lastly, if you think you should get in an LDR because you don't think you're ready to handle a regular, close-distance relationship (for example, if you're getting together with someone you only know online because you're not confident enough in your appearance/social skills/etc. to try to find someone offline), just....don't. LDRs are HARDER, not easier, than other relationships.
The end of my LDR was inevitable and had nothing to do with the above stuff. But I think that if I had kept those in mind the ending would have been a lot smoother and less stressful for everyone involved.
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