HELP: Looking for ways to describe and write scenes better

[Steel_Justice]

It's personally been years in development hell for me but I've started writing the fanfic that I've always wanted to write. I haven't wrote much but I have the blue prints for all important characters (so far) as well as all the world building in my personal notes.

I'm having a lot of fun writing dialogue, making characters, plotting the chapters and choreographing the (if somewhat lengthy) action scenes.

My problem though is that I feel like my chapters are lacking in description for scenes when it's not action based. Prose isn't my strong suit and I do have a lot of characters just talking in conversation without a graceful way to change who is talking to who. It kinda feels like how Nasu writes scenes in his Visual Novels but I don't have nice illustrations or soothing music.

For more experienced writers how do you describe your scenes and your worlds without it being too short, long or reusing certain words too many times? And how much detail is too much when it's not particularly important? Are there any references (like other fan fics) you use for writing?

For the general idea of the plot and setting it's a crime drama that's a mix of Criminal Minds, Daredevil, The Punisher, Fire Emblem 3 Houses and with a little bit of Power Rangers thrown into the mix so it can be rather dark but I'm not gonna make it darker than it being mildly gorey with some mature themes. The story is about a group of people who are trying to be the successors of a team of vigilantes that protected their region several years ago after that team got destroyed. Since then the atmosphere of the region has changed and the 5 main characters have their own troubled pasts to move on from.

 

[Welkamo]

Full disclosure: I sometimes struggle with beige prose myself, but for things that help:

POV Character - For third limited, first, or second person, consider the POV character. How do they see the world? What things stand out to them?

Word Choice - A single word can mean so much. Even synonyms can have different connotations. Source: me, looking up the connotations of "beg" and "plead".

Movie Tricks - For "establishing shots", you can get away with a chunky paragraph of details. For quick-paced action scenes, it's best to leave details to a minimum. Descriptions affect pacing; the more details, the slower the scene, but this can be used to your advantage! You also don't have to drop every detail in the same paragraph—you can have an establishing shot, followed by action with sprinkles of details.

I'll give some examples of descriptions in my own writing to explain my thought process:

Adamas Jewelers was a very fancy store of white walls and chrome counters. Countless rings and necklaces and the like were on display, and a display screen presented a slideshow of different stones, their properties, and their meanings.

A pretty simple setting description that establishes defining parts and ~vibes~ of the building.

Wallace couldn’t make sense of his surroundings, so he could only close his eyes and pray that no one else was outside. His vision was blurry, like he was trying to open his eyes underwater, but he eventually came to the conclusion that no one else was outside.

I like water metaphors when writing Water type trainers. Given Wallace's state in this scene, I also chose to not focus too much about the scenery.

CW// IAmbulance imagery, delirium

Gold light. Coral pink. Gold. Light yellow.

Black. Darkness. The depths of the ocean.

Red. Red. Red. Blue. Red. Blue. Red blue red blue red blue red blue rebureburebureburebureburebubububububu. Talking. Shouting. Questions. Faces.

Without spoiling anything, the character in this scene is... not in the most lucid state, so I went with a surrealist, experimental approach, focusing on vague colors over small details.

He woke up in a little blue blanket in a little brown basket with a little white note.

I like repetition : )

I also recommend looking up literary/rhetorical devices like chiasmus and hyperbole—they can really help add personality to your writing!

 

[Steel_Justice]

POV Character - For third limited, first, or second person, consider the POV character. How do they see the world? What things stand out to them?

I think I did mostly fine for my first chapter in regards to POV. My fic switches POV depending on the chapter since I kind of have 2 main characters. Chapter 1 has only the main male lead in it so the POV is entirely on him as is the focus of the action in the chapter. That first chapter was heavy on the action so I didn't have too many issues describing what happens in quick sequences.

I'm mostly having troubles in my second and third chapter. The POV switches to the main female lead for those 2. The chapters is her joining the team and going through the motions so she's a bit passive when the first case hits (in ch 3) and it kinda ended up in 3rd person when the skills of the other team members are needed. Though I'm going to have another big action scene at the end of that chapter that involves a fight in a warehouse where things get chaotic so a 3rd person perspective feels appropriate to me.

Movie Tricks - For "establishing shots", you can get away with a chunky paragraph of details. For quick-paced action scenes, it's best to leave details to a minimum. Descriptions affect pacing; the more details, the slower the scene, but this can be used to your advantage! You also don't have to drop every detail in the same paragraph—you can have an establishing shot, followed by action with sprinkles of details.

I'll remember that, thank you. I think I'm okay with the action scenes once I've thoroughly planned them out since they need quicker descriptions. I'm just having a bit of trouble during the investigation scenes where I have the other 4 team members following up on leads. They go over the case files, talk to the victim and interrogate a shady street peddler before the big fight. I have parts where 4-5 characters are in a room talking and I'm having a difficult time finding anything interesting to write when characters are pitching into a conversation and they are at a table or in a car. I have a pretty good grasp on my characters and their personalities (since I based them on characters I like and understand) but putting it into text is a bit iffy.