maliant's out of mind experience

[DRX.maliant]

hi... um, this is going to be awkward. ive never been somebody who does these kinds of things, so thisll be pretty new.

so theres supposed to be something about rules? all i can say is if somebody else replies just respect that. never been someone to deal with rules anyway.

i guess ill take this bit to explain some stuff. everything i think about is going to be here, whether it be new music finds, game stuff (if anything), writing, life, etc. dont want to have to manage too many of these threads.

as for writing, i have a very weird way of going about this. since music is such a big part of how i function, i incorporate music into writing stuff as well. every section is timed to a song... this is gonna sound confusing, isnt it? lets say for example, i have a bunch of segments set for a track. the calmer parts of a "fic" are for the calm parts to the song, whereas something more action-packed like a fight scene is saved for the heavier parts. ... i dont think that helped. none of this makes any sense now that i think about it.

guess i could kick this off by saying that ill be working on a project i started almost half a year ago. managed to write five chapters and start a sixth before wondering what i was doing with my life, so now its just been collecting dust. chapter list for now is:
1. blacklight
2. unarmed
3. dancing naked
4. ????
5. psycho
6. ID

i think ive said too much... time to log off. maybe next time i log on it wont be as awkward as this.

 

[DRX.maliant]

hasnt been long since i first posted something, maybe i cant get any more awkward than then, right?

finally transferring to a four-year university after spending four years in a community college. about time, really. i can actually get a diploma. feels good man.

also got a plane ticket to vegas in a few months for a giant music festival. now time to wait for festival ticket waitlist to come out so i can break my bank account even more. least i can jam the fk out since its also the end of that semester, and as far as i know i dont have any final exams happening that weekend. now whether i decide to retire from seeing big shows like that or not is still in the air. still quite a few amount of acts i want to see but ill figure it out when that time comes. just stay in the present, still gotta pass the two classes and one lab im taking.

also a duo called infected mushroom put out a two hour long video of their live performance in israel last month and ive been putting it on loop for the past week. something about seeing two guys shred on electric guitars feels really satisfying. if you want to fancy a listen its this: https://youtu.be/Euvo4wvuUdY. id actually seen these guys before in early november last year so it brings back memories. highly recommend listening to them, theyre really. really good.

 

[DRX.maliant]

lot more happened than i had anticipated, and all the more to make this extremely long.

finally got chapter 1 of 15 of a work, not top gun out. had planned for it to be the first upload i put onto the writing workshop forum, but a halloween event came up, and i initially wanted to release not top gun once i had written all fifteen chapters. at least it sees the light of day after all my "hyping" it last year. tbh its pretty outdated and kinda weird, because i thought of the whole premise of it while at work. lost in space, my actual first upload, was thought up of while scrolling through my liked songs playlist on spotify (i know, boring), and the plot for no problem was thought up while in the shower. my mind likes to work in mysterious wryyys... unfortunately. anyhow, now that the first chapter is out, id like to hope (or cope, in my case) that having it out there gives me a little bit of a push to finish writing the sixth chapter, because uh, yeah... at least im getting some more work in on the whole thing.

as for life stuff, i was told that i could get a look at some of the courses that im able to take at the uni im transferring to, and honestly, im kind of excited to see some of the classes i need to/can take. some courses on there that im hyped for are thermodynamics, fluid dynamics and applied fluid dynamics (ill get to this later), robotics, mechatronics, materials and manufacturing processes, and hvac principles (just think of air filtration systems). as i plan on and want to go into the design aspect of my course of study, i just think im going to have a fun time with those.

yes, there is a difference between fluid dynamics and applied fluid dynamics. i also learned that the applied fluid dynamics course i took at community college isnt transferrable, as in the uni im going to its actually an upper-div elective. essentially, i need to take applied fluid dynamics again when the time comes that i want to take it. fluid dynamics is a required course for me, and goes about explaining in general how fluids deal with surfaces and are dealt with. to be honest, its quite fun, i really enjoy it.

of course, with upsides, there are always downsides. solid dynamics is one class that i have to take that i know im not ready for, and an addon is mechanical vibrations and linear systems. honestly, thats going to be rough. at least theres the other classes to look to.

meanwhile, at my final semester of community college, engineering clubs picked up activities again. were prepping and modifying the boat (that we made in house, hull and everything) for another solar regatta, which is a race of solar-powered boats. the title of it is actually somewhat misleading, as the boats also have to be able to run on battery power alone as well, but saying solar and battery regatta doesnt really roll off the tongue very well, does it? were thinking of riding it on a hydrofoil, but since we have no idea how that works, weve been turning to research papers from universities in europe who study this stuff like its their life. its really insightful, if we put aside all the matrices and linear systems. one of the requirements of being in the competition is that each team has to submit a little video as a progress report of sorts, so our professor decided to "abuse" the beta avatar feature on zoom and make a little cartoon meeting where we bring up how were going to be adding illegal features and making the boat do weird things. of course, were actually not going to do that, were here just to make people laugh... and crush the competition. maybe i should mention that my school is back-to-back-to-back-to-back champion. so yeah, these next few months are going to be interesting. along with the two classes and one lab im still taking, its going to be busy.

as im writing this, my brother just got a pair of tickets to another show at a nightclub thats in two weeks. last time i was at a nightclub i got to take part in a discord meetup that involved gareth emery. hes a music producer who mainly produces trance music and has been in the scene for a really long time, so being able to meet him was absolutely nuts. ive had some crazy highs in my life but that was something insanely different. but im pretty ready for the event in two weeks. ready to party. thats all i got. pretty eventful week, i must say. still waiting for ticket waitlist for the vegas thing to come out, but again, gotta stick to the now.

 

[DRX.maliant]

so, got another acceptance letter into another uni, this time a little less local. kind of concerned because i already committed to the local uni, but when in doubt ill just flip a coin and see what happens. also surprised that they accepted me but whatever. all that matters is im still on track to getting an actual diploma.

did some more work on the two hulls for the engineering club boat, mostly just sanding off all the paint. the professor stated our theme to be a play on the beatles' yellow submarine, to which im just going along because i have nothing clever to say. we have some more plans for it, but honestly im just riding along.

still need to work on not top gun chapter six, but cant really because of all the admin stuff i need to do for transferring. also trying to pace everything out consistently is rough, but i set myself into this, so i need to follow it all the way through. also theres a review event, and i need to write one as well.

also waiting on ticket waitlist for the vegas thing. i dont know when its actually coming out, but i was told its this month at the earliest. at least i have the money to pay for it as my paycheck came in today so i can pay off my card. adulting and having fun dont mix very well.

sometimes when i have free time and feel like i need a break from all the screens and stuff like that i roll down to the library near the community college i go to, grab a book off the shelf, and start reading. ive been reading mostly, if not only manga, but its nice to read a physical book and flip through physical pages. ive been reading series like shikimori-san's not just a cutie, horimiya, nisekoi, and occasionally some pokemon adventures, but ive also stumbled across some really nice reads, like a silent voice. another find i read through this week was a shoujo manga called short cake cake. kind of weird title, but its a romance story about this country girl who goes from taking a two hour commute to school and back home every day to moving into a boarding home with her classmate and two hot-as-hell guys, and everything rolls downhill from there. i personally find it really cute, and as of yesterday evening before engineering club shenanigans ive finished reading volume 4. i presume theres 8 volumes, and the library has all 8, so i can definitely read through the rest next week.

dragonboat season is starting up tomorrow, which means i have to wake up at 05:50 on saturdays again. as im an assistant coach, im there only to yell at people and provide some sort of teaching, motivation, and advice. the kids are working out six days a week, with land conditionings on monday, wednesday, friday, and water trainings tuesday, thursday, and saturday, which is pretty rough. i dont know how i got through it, but i suppose it was mostly due to the high of working out as much and crazily as i did. honestly cant wait to be out on the water again, and i wanna use practises as an excuse to get back into shape. fun times out here, fun times, and im all in for it.

 

[DRX.maliant]

a tad bit shorter entry this time, but had a thought last night when coming home from engineering club shenanigans that i should take my dog to the dog park. so in the morning today i took my dog to the dog park. my parents were thrilled but also confused as to why, all of a sudden, their lazy-ass kid decided to bring the dog to the park, but thats just my decision-making process being spontaneous as per usual. had a lot of fun, dog (i presume) had a lot of fun; seeing a whole bunch of dogs running and playing about is really therapeutic, and to be honest i really needed it. things are starting to pile up, and whatever opportunity comes for me to relax, im gonna pounce.

dragonboat practice has started, which means im going on the road to get back in shape. havent felt so sore in so long, but gotta keep going. dont wanna be lazy for too long.

tonights gonna be spent partying at a club, which is gonna be lots of fun... until i have to get up at ten to six tomorrow morning to get to practice. eh, ill get there when i get there.

 

[DRX.maliant]

so im at school while writing this, but about that weekend where i had practice right after going to a club... yeah, that didnt happen. got home at 02:30 that morning, was like "imma pull an allnighter," slept at 03:40, didnt actually check my alarm to make sure it would go off, and woke up at ten past eight feeling insanely hung over. it sucked. if youre going to drink, drink within limit. dont push it. literally felt like sht that entire day.

speaking of practice, things have been going sort of smoothly. had some cancellations due to pretty bad winds and the rain systems that are sweeping through. as nice as it is to get a lot of rain back here, id rather get as much time out on the water as possible and get these kids in shape and ready for race day as quickly as possible. theyre working hard, getting as much work in as possible, and thats whats most important.

as for me, i was sorta invited - and went - to a gym session at 05:00 this weekend. since public transit wasnt running that early (so i didnt have to be unreliable public transit'd), i had to bike there, which was alright, really, if it werent for the fact that the gym we were going to opened at 06:00 and not 05:00. the irony of it was that the gym was a 24-hour fitness, but oh well. one guy drove us to another 24-hour fitness that was a true 24-hour fitness, got some workouts in, then we went back to where my bike was parked and locked, and i biked off to practice. wouldve already been an eventful day if i didnt have to go straight to work afterward, but i wasnt going to bike from one end of the city all the way to the other, so i kinda cheated and took the bus before biking the rest of the way. after that i was meeting with some friends at an overpriced ayce hot pot and grill restaurant to celebrate a late birthday. i definitely got my moneys worth, i dont know about the other two, but i was hungry and tired. also went to a dessert place, got some boba, before biking home. that saturday was everything day, with me working chest, arms, back, legs, and cardio. fun times. biked a total of 21.7 miles and was up for almost 20 hours.

still really sore, my triceps are feeling it the most, but my legs are also not having the best time as well. theres another heavy rain and wind system flowing through here, and im stuck in class, but definitely cant wait to get back home and sleep, as ive absolutely not had the best sleep these past few days. at least i have one exam delayed to next week and the other delayed indefinitely, though now that ive checked, i have two exams next week... i also still need to fill out my financial aid application for uni, and thats due this week. i think i have time to get everything i need done.

so after finishing shortcake cake at the library (its a really cute read, i suggest checking it out), i felt like wanting to reread it, but i also dont want to rely on going to the library between classes to read it. guess my mum heard enough of me complaining about it and sent me some money to buy the whole serialisation on amazon. thanks mum. ive already gotten four of the volumes, and am waiting on the other eight, but one of them was out of stock when i ordered it so im just waiting on when thatll be back in stock. sucks but oh well. shouldve bought it earlier.

on an unrelated note, i still need to buy some stuff to make lunch this weekend. who knew this adulting thing could be so hard?

 

[DRX.maliant]

well, im another year older. to be honest im not as excited about it as i would like to be, but its also the birthday of someone else in the family, so they have higher priority than me. most times im the one who makes dinner, but since another person in the family took the responsibility of making dinner, i was relegated to making lunch or brunch; breakfast i dont do because i cant wake up that early. anyhow, i thought about making a hong kong style brunch, which is macaroni and cream of chicken soup with sliced ham, scrambled eggs, and toast with condensed milk. i mostly get really stressed whenever i make stuff, because of the expectations i place on myself and that of the family. im just glad they liked it.

midterm season is upon me, and as im writing this i have one exam tomorrow. that exam i mentioned earlier about being postponed indefinitely, yeah that got moved to being assigned last wednesday. its a take home exam and i can talk with anybody about it as long as i turn it in this wednesday, but i dont have a lot of time already. ive also that third lab exam on wednesday as well, so things are going to be stressful. im not enjoying the start to this week already. at least after the first exam tomorrow i can work on the take home one, because the professor moved our lecture online. hopefully he gets better soon.

also had an order of a short cake cake volume cancelled on me because somebody messed up and damaged it. oh well, just placed another order and went on. im getting it this week at best, and another volume is coming tomorrow. the volume that was out of stock when i bought it was finally restocked, and is coming at the end of this month, which is fine. i can wait.

did some coaching work with the most experienced boat, and its safe to say that they were pretty lost in the sauce the past couple sessions. really need to find a way to get their mentals disciplined, as theyre the group that really wants to travel and compete internationally. its cool that they have the want, but are they willing to put in the effort to make it happen. a dreams only a dream until everything is invested and the journey is seen all the way through. hopefully theyll get it together. not tryna see them in the sauce for too long. also as an aside they dont know what that phrase means, so theyre just laughing along. maybe i should tell them.

my orientation date is all set for the uni im transferring to. ive been told their health centre is pretty nice and decked out, along with the gym being pretty nice as well, which is something im going to be looking forward to. cant wait to actually use an on-campus gym. ive been using this semester to nail the foundation of getting myself into shape, and so once i transfer into uni, im already set to push some limits. maybe if the uni dragonboat team gets their footing then ill join in. ive always wanted to get back into paddling, though my competitive edge as a paddlers gotten rusty and ive been enjoying the competition as a coach, hopefully joining the uni team will change some things.

well, first day of being 22 is over. playtimes over, time to get to business again... wait, ive already gone halfway through the semester. spring break is in two and a half weeks. wheres the time gone?! wheres MY time gone?!

 

[DRX.maliant]

imma be honest, im writing this as im about to head off to sleep for the night, so hopefully all of this makes sense.

ive stated that there would be music-related posts here, and since ivent done one in a while, or maybe at all, i suppose its about time i make one. so, to all of those who stop by here on their weary travels throughout the world that is the forums, whats gotten you into listening to the stuff you listen to now? who do you listen to, whether its on the train, working out, or just chilling and getting all those edits in for that chapter youve been planning on getting out for the past few months?

if i had to answer my own question, id have to say that im a very electronic-centred person, so a lot of EDM (electronic dance music) is seen in my playlists n stuff. what initially got me into it were two groups, one called NERO (with songs like Promises, Doomsday, and Satisfy, they recently had a reunion performance last year at red rocks in colorado.) and the other called M83 (with their album Hurry Up, We're Dreaming). i would then discover the drum 'n' bass band Pendulum (just listen to their discography, its so good.) while going through all the mlg video game montages. good times. they also just played a live show in london last week (on my birthday, which i wouldve gone to see if i had the money), and even though i already saw them at ultra festival in florida (yeah i flew to florida just to see the band play live), theres always something about seeing live performances that hits so much harder. im pretty sure thats not what it is, but its hard for me to explain as i cant find the words, so bear with me. being shown the monstercat label really widened the EDM rabbit hole, which has led me to where i am now. im p much a basshead that also enjoys a lot of psychedelic sounds and hard-hitting drum n bass. theres something about testing just how musically weird a sound can be.

speaking of NERO, theyre one of those artists where even if you forget what one of their tracks is called, if you listen to it youll recognise it immediately. that was how i felt after stumbling across a recording of their reunion set in colorado on youtube recommended. a bunch of the aforementioned names give so much nostalgia, which i do need, given the disappointing turn that EDM has taken imo. granted, its crazy just how big dance music has gotten. professional baseball players are using dance tracks as their walkout tracks and djs are playing for sellout crowds at sports venues. but im not going to rant. little too tired for that.

going through some of the recordings of pendulums latest performance (still bummed i didnt go to this one), ive found a lot of ideas for new writing material. this is gonna sound kinda weird, but whenever i listen to a track, most times ill get a whisper saying, "use me to write this" or "use me to set up for this". if its a melodic track or has words with certain context, itll tell me to use it to write something sad, and if its a bass-heavy, hard-hitting one, itll tell me to write an action scene. back to the performance, i initially didnt get many ideas, mostly because i was so hooked on hearing new music from the band, but after listening through em a couple more times, ive come up with writing material that i think will go along quite well.

thatll probably be it here. never really thought much of this question until recently while at work (the human mind does wonderous things sometimes) and it made me reflect quite a bit on my own audiodimensional journey, as ive gone through so many places through said audiodimensional journey. idk i just think itd be kinda cool to hear what others audio experiences are. maybe ive been to too many shows at clubs or festivals and am too comfortable with that kinda thing.

 

[DRX.maliant]

i must admit that as i am writing all this, ivent made any progress on any of the stuff ive stated i would work on, and to make things worse, ivent had the thought of "i wanna write" despite having all these ideas in my head. unfortunate, but thats just how it goes, i suppose.

scrolling through and listening to sets on youtube has brought me into a techno phase, and as of late all my most played have been techno tracks. its just nice to hear only bass rumbles and a hard kick drum that just shakes the entire being. ive just been digging it lately, its much more different than what ive been jamming out to before. i wouldnt say i recommend it, as everyone has their own tastes, but for the occasional wanderer that stops by, id recommend.

alongside the aforementioned techno phase that ive started, ive also been staying in my own little shoujo manga phase, as i stumbled upon a new read called my happy marriage. to be honest, ive been wondering what i would read at that specific branch after finishing the demon prince of momchi house, so before i was just reading through certain volumes of world trigger (yeah i know im behind). upon some further research it turns out that my happy marriage is actually a new serialisation, so thats a new addition to my must-read list. for now i have that and tonikaku kawaii on the list, and speaking of the latter, now that season 2 of the show is starting to air, im starting to make time to watch it. tonikaku kawaii isnt classified under shoujo, but its still really cute regardless.

i guess that the global health crisis has really messed with my perception of time, as it doesnt feel like a month between this post and the last time i sent something here. race day is already this saturday, and it feels like yesterday i was lamenting about how lost in the sauce the kids were. from the last practice session the other day, the boat i was on had some things together, which felt nice. the silver lining is that the six rows of kids i was overseeing on saturday are newer to the team, so us coaches have a foundation to build on for upcoming seasons. ive also been upping my own workout numbers and have been feeling a lot more sore, which is good for me. i just want to get in shape, and im feeling like i had a good start and relatively strong foundation. just need to keep building.

still waiting on ticket waitlist for the vegas event, but at least the lineup is out. its kind of mediocre, but theres some people im very keen on seeing, so i guess its somewhat saved. given my perception of time is absolutely wrecked, that may weekend is gonna be around the corner so much faster than ill ever think, but i think that weekend will be lots of fun. hopefully.

 

[DRX.maliant]

as im writing this, the day of the dragonboat race is upon me, and i have to be up in several hours for it. well, all i can do is cope that the kidsve gotten their act together, though from this past week, it kinda has seemed like it. what didnt help was that this week was really windy and i had more than a couple instances of falling off the boat and into the water, but as the late chadwick boseman stated in black panther, "as you can see, i am not dead." just waiting for when the wind gets even worse to the point of cancelling everything tomorrow, because one of the rules of using the lake is that no one can be out on the water if wind speed is over 25mph (one index card over 40 kph); yesterday was bad, earlier in the week was even worse. lightning cant strike the same place three times in a row, right?

since im talking about boats, my school engineering club is still working on getting our boat assembled for testing. i cant say that im not surprised that they havent completely gotten everything together, but since i skipped club meeting due to freezing from wind chill yesterday, i suppose its also on my part that i didnt contribute anything at all. at least i remedied that somewhat today... i think. we didnt get it out on the water to test, but at least we have a permit for next week. again, lightning cant strike the same place three times in a row, right?

im probably not going to work out as much as i have for the past couple months, mostly because ive started aggravating things again. its a running thing (hah) where i just say "yeah ill go get it checked" and never get it checked. old habits die hard. again, once i transfer therell be that on-campus gym to look forward to.

little shorter entry this time, because i gotta go bye.

 

[DRX.maliant]

so im at the midpoint of two regattas, one was the dragonboat race where the boat i was drumming for didnt win anything, but thats just how the dynamics of sports goes. theres a clip of an interview by an nba player about the definition of failure, and i think the kids should get a look at that clip, so as to get any sort of negative thoughts out of their minds. to be honest, even as a coach i was kinda sorta expecting this outcome, which isnt really the right mindset for someone whos supposed to foster a more positive mindset, but as a collective coaching corps thats just what we had anticipated. that days passed, though, and even if i think its okay to look back at it and wallow in regrets and stuff like that, the only thing they can do is move forward. everyones gonna have good days and bad days, and that race day was just not a good day for them. at least they have an international race at vancouver to train and look forward to, because initially we had not planned to go due to some uncondoned behaviour that had occurred, but some negotiations happened, so now its happening. i just have to cope that those who are going to go are going out and practising, because thats why race day for them went the way it did.

for me, however, ive another race to deal with, and thats coming tomorrow, but im going up early with other people in my school club so as to get some more last minute work on the boat, which means im camping out the night. of course, in classic fashion, i didnt actually get everything prepared, and in my haste to get to school, i never brought a toothbrush and toothpaste xd. oh well, im going to be up there early, so ive some time to go to a convenience store before heading to the site. unlike last year, its slated to be overcast with maybe some rain, but oh well. push comes to shove the boat wont even be solar powered. to be honest, im more nervous about tomorrow than i was during the dragonboat race day because this boat was hand-built by everybody in the club: powertrain, electronics, everything. if something breaks then were screwed; we already had a rudder plate break during testing a couple weeks ago, which threw us very off schedule as we had to rush to get it fixed and put off everything else. though we planned construction and other bits of the boat earlier (like, at the start of the semester earlier), were still rushing to cram everything in, which is something that were accustomed to anyway. theyre all saying that they should plan even earlier, so maybe even during fall semester they should start planning, but im not gonna be there anymore, so itll be interesting to see what happens. i think they got it, though. maybe ill drop by for fun on occasion.

on another note i finally got my ticket for the vegas event. had to shell out quite a bit of money, but at least i can actually go and not have to sneak or illegally force entry. i did have to reschedule an exam because it fell on the day i get back from vegas, but at that point i cant really care. ive just been in a less than good state for the past couple months, and have felt like i cant do anything that requires a modicum of work. it might just be me feeling really lazy, or my emotional and mental state has just been terrible. i would joke a lot about insert steven he impersonation EMOTIONAL DAMAGE but im actually feeling like im getting emotional damage for something. for what? i have no clue. i dont know about anything, for that matter. what is wrong with me? i dont know. ive three weeks to the end of the semester. get me out of here. i cant do this anymore. im just forcefully trudging through with no rhyme or reason, going through the motions... do i need help? yeah, ill acknowledge that. do i want to get it? i dont know. will i start feeling better after transferring? i dont know, but only one way to find out.

theres a new game that came out from a developer called hoyoverse, and some of the dialogue interactions are the goofiest things ever. for now its my last bastion of sanity, but some of the dialogue choices are so unhinged that im about to lose it, as if i havent already. its just something new, in a good way, for me right now, but i already know that thats not going to last long. i just want to go to that uni, man. i just want summer break to be here.

to be honest, it isnt like me to end things like this on such a terrible mood, but thats just how thingsve been for me. though i can only look forward and hope for better, at the end of the day ive gotta wake up and work for it. so dont expect anything to change from now, but if something changes, then thats also fine.

 

[DRX.maliant]

so, about that previous log with the second boat race, we won that one, albeit pretty narrowly, as it came down to a sudden death sprint race between my school and a four-year university that was there. we got lucky because it rained, as the uni had a boat that was really, really light, lighter than that of a small child. talking to them about it, it was a custom-made carbon-kevlar canoe that was made specifically for olympic races, and the guy who requested it had been racing that hull for several years. the entire boat, with motor, drivetrain, everything, weighed something like 70 pounds, which doing the conversion is one index card under 32 kg. for comparison, my schools boat was bordering 260 pounds, which is 118 kg and change. why we were lucky was that their boat was optimised for the use of solar panels, but since it was raining, the organisers said that using solar panels was out of the option and every race was to be run on batteries, and the mistake they made was that they required the batteries be capacity-capped and not power-capped. the end result is, no matter how big or small the battery is, one could just ramp the power output and current input and the boat will just go zoom. what they also mentioned, and what the university didnt do, was bring a duplicate battery, which was how we managed to smoke 'em for the win. $2k prize, a bunch of trophies for funny events, an interesting camping trip, the whole last weekend was pretty fun. oh yeah, we had stuff break during the race, but it didnt end up mattering; were planning on a completely new design and theme anyway.

got some more work in on some dlc expansion packs... wow, i know. its been a long time since i started those things, and its nice that i get just a little more progress on em. its a shame that ivent much work on other stuff that ive been wanting to work on-cough cough not top gun cough cough-but some writing is better than no writing. ive also been getting some ideas while at work, which also helps quite a bit. its just a shame that i end up forgetting most of the ideas by the time i get home... or i just dont write them down. maybe i should write them down before i head home, so i wont forget. yeah, that sounds like a good idea. my memory isnt as good as it used to be (all of me isnt as good as it used to be), so writing things down is a habit that i should start developing.

im... so close... to the end of the semester. i can taste it, its right there. just one more step, maliant. one final effort is all that remains.

set times for edc came out today, and man am i going to not be able to sleep this weekend... edc is this weekend. to be honest i didnt think that it would come, but it just felt like time flew by so quickly. some part of me feels a little apprehensive about going on this little excursion, as most times i dont really care about what to expect, but for this weekend, due to my near-rock bottom mental at the moment, im expecting something. as for what that something is, i dont know. it could be that this weekend will be a great one, it could be that this weekend will be an absolutely terrible one. i dont know. i just want to go there, have fun, enjoy the music and change of pace; im going with a pretty big group, so cant wait to see the amount of chaos that unfolds. itll be really awkward if i bump into ppl i know there (even though i already know that theyre gonna be going due to all their posts on socials), but whatever. im there for good vibes and fun, presumably, not a bunch of awkward run-ins with people i dont talk to or have no desire to connect with anymore. i fly out this thursday, and man, thursday cant come any sooner.

i got a pair of in-ear monitors in the post earlier, which is nice, because i feel like i can actually utilise my cdj mixer. granted, i need to actually learn how to mix, but that i can do on the fly, considering that i actually decide to teach myself how to mix. after doing a little eq tweaking here and there, they sound really good. also got a bluetooth adapter case for them as well, so i can walk around without a wire. its perfect, really. my old jabra bluetooth earbuds have served me well for the past few years, but these are not only cheaper, but have better sound quality, and thus better immersion. hopefully itll be enough to carry me through two more weeks of this semester. maybe the next time i see people here ill be either in vegas or illve arrived home from the event. until next time. o/

 

[DRX.maliant]

phew. hi, its been a while. a very long while... ok thats not true, maybe a little longer than most entries... actually maybe thats not true either, either way, im back.

first of all, present day. so i uh, pulled an oopsie and forgot about a ge requirement for transferring to the uni that i want to go to, so im taking that right now for the summer. its only six weeks, four days a week, but on the other hand the class is public speaking, and my ability to speak is absolutely less than subpar, therefore im absolutely going to not have fun. surprisingly though, since ive already experienced a day, i dont think its gonna be as bad as i initially anticipated. the people in the class are actually very amiable, which puts me a little more at ease because i can just chill and chuckle away. the instructor is talkative and also very lively, which i cant deal with very well - theres a limit to how much personal energy i can handle without feeling like something bad is going to happen to me - but the class being the way it is balances it out, so ill take it. sure this class is only a requirement, but also for my own case i can actually work on my subpar speaking and social skills and actually get decent feedback, so thats gonna be a plus. more importantly, i need to actually do good - and not just pass - because that class is my ticket to actually getting into university.

school club has been working on a motorised couch, which is just a couch that has electric motors, some axles, a drivetrain, and wheels, mostly for fun. also they wanna present it as another project for... honestly i dont know. ive been so out of school stuff for the three weeks that i got off of this spring semester (which i did absolutely horrendously but we dont talk about that) that whenever i go into the club discord and see all this talk i just stare at my screen like "what the heck is going on?" oh on an unrelated note my ?/ key finally works on this keyboard again. its been on a trend of working and not working, so on the days where its not working ive just been copypastaing from urls n stuff. anyway back on topic, theres a lot of interesting machinations going on in school club, whichll be very fun. since im gonna be in uni next semester im not gonna have as much time to show up there as i would like, but also i wont have time to actually do other stuff, like coaching the high school dragonboat club, but thats a thing for another time.

so id say that the next time id be here was either at vegas or arrived home from vegas, and ill just say that i got home three weeks ago from edc, but have had a cold for the past couple weeks, so ive just been spending my time recuperating and not coughing my lungs out. i think that im fine? but meh if anything terrible suddenly happens then whatever. i do know that its not covid as everybody in the group i went with tested negative for covid, so im in the clear there. while on that part, ive gone three years without catching covid (get it, because global health crisis has been going on for three years), which is cool. anyway, edc was a surreal experience; walking into the speedway, onto the bleachers and seeing the lights, all the stages, made everything feel like i was in a dream. being down at floor level was crazy as well, because it was so packed. honestly theres so much about edc that can only be told, as the whole experience requires being there to see it in person. words cant describe it, honestly. the different areas for different genres of music really made things easier for me to scout and roam around, but i stayed at one stage for a good majority of my weekend. i understand why people go in groups, and its really nice to be in a group and enjoy the music and party, but at the end of the day i dont really mind whether im in a group or solo, im still going to be immersed in the music and vibes. being able to meet groups and people from different places was really cool as well, and even though i dont even know who they are, what their names are, or what they do, i still got to party and have fun alongside them without any care in the world. theres a funny parody of "bath and body works" called "back and body hurts" and that was me the whole weekend, but it was all worth it, even the sleeping at 08:00 every morning and only getting 3 hours of sleep every day. the only downside was that due to vegas being in a desert (well, duh), the place was hot as hell, and i was stuck for five days without drinking any hot water like i normally would at home, but edc made the whole trip worthwhile. i managed to make a lot of friends, enjoy my entire time, and somewhat explore vegas. it was absolutely a good use of my vacation between finals.

wow, that was a lot for me in a month. unfortunately ivent got much writing in (i will soon trust me), but that can wai... oh wait not top gun is a year old... almost. oh no. ill uh... yeah about that. ill see you when that finally gets an update.