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Mari's Chaos Dimension (The Everything Blog)

I think it sounds like you've been in all the wrong places.
You're completely right to be honest, this has been happening for a while, since I was around 13 I think? I won't go into detail, but I'll just say that loneliness will make you look past red flags a lot of the time.

I'm so glad I found this community, you all are so nice and I feel like I'm able to be authentic here. I want to be here more because you all are that nice. Thank you everyone for the kind words, I'll try my best to continue to recover and try my best not to go back to communities that clearly aren't worthy of me (it feels weird saying "worthy of me" I feel like I sound full of myself saying that lol)
 
May!
Art by のどり on pixiv
dreepy.jpg

Pokémon of the month: Dreepy!

●∘◦❀◦∘●

It's may, everyday we're getting closer to summer. I've been planning to make a summer worth remembering, like the kind you see in slice of life anime. I'm really excited for it, I already am starting to plan stuff! Though I worry sometimes that I won't be able to achieve it due to all the catching up I have to do in school.

It's weird to say, but I am thinking about going to public school again. It causes my anxiety to spike even now. But honestly, it will probably be worth it due the fact I am in great need of support to help me catch up in high school. That and I am really lacking in the irl friends department right now lol.

I've been listening to some playlists Lisia recommended to me a while back, and honestly it's kind of what I need right now? A very upbeat kind of punk/rock to keep me going. I really want to make this summer count, so I'm going to try my best!!

My mom is also getting a surgery this Wednesday on one of her knees, so if I'm a bit inactive during this month that just means I'm taking care of her.

Peace~!
-Mari​
 
お㎎い儒st後瀬d用rンpfp伊t’s祖くてあああh!!

^this is what happens when you type with japanese keyboard

omg i just noticed your n pfp it's so cute aaah!!
Aaa thank you! I found it on Pinterest and it was so cute!
 
Yup! Except I use it for drawing instead. One day I want to get one with a screen so I can have a better idea on what my art looks like
Maybe try unplugging it and plugging it back in? That usually helps me with mine...

I’m other news, I’m scared to interact with twitter (怖い) because I’ve heard a lot of things about it. I don’t want to come off as a weird person.

Just, Twitter is a whole beast on its own but I want to make friends so 3 2 1 let’s jam
Twitter scares the shit out of me honestly, I don't have an account and would rather not change that. It just doesn't seem like a great place too me... but there's probably great people there too, just got look harder.
 
╭------------------------╮
Karma is nowhere to be
found, the future is ever
uncertain.
内臓ありますか (What's Inside)
by PinocchioP

╰------------------------╯

It seems that I, the ultimate clown, have forgotten to post here for two whole days!!! The highest of shames to be completely honest, seeing as how I haven't even told y'all about my mother's current condition.

Mother Mari is currently in a lot of pain right now, but is getting by perfectly! She is supposed to work on bending her knees everyday post surgery, and so far is doing a good job of it. I'll admit I'm a bit stressed out by this seeing it is up to only me and my brother to take care of her. I'm trying my best though!

I keep on thinking, and it's being a problem again. I looked back to some old english vocaloid history and found that the fans of a producer as well as the producer, who I listened to a lot during an extremely bad point in my life, really didn't have a good relationship with each other. That along with just looking back in my past in general is just encouraging thoughts that I don't want to think about. Then my brain is just like "Too bad fucker, here they are anyways." I can't help but cringe and internalize, I feel the need to apologize for everything. I wish I was able to open up to my therapist more about this stuff, but I worry that it might be taken too seriously for my liking.
(tl;dr my brain hates me and so do I)

I don't usually like to open up about my past due to my experiences of doing so have been scarce and less than pleasant. Maybe one day I'll be ready, but certainly not until I'm an adult or something lmao.

In other news, I'm thinking of making a new experimental piece to pixiv. I'm not to sure who to draw though, it's hard for me to choose. I want to watch some anime too, its so hard to choose which though. Probably just something that won't hit me in the feels right now, seeing as how I am emotionally vulnerable currently.

Anyways, I'm out of ideas lol. Maybe I should come up with a sign off?
 
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hope you're doing well Mari! even if you aren't able to hang out here much rn it IS nice to see you've at least been checking up on us!!

BRING YOUR BOARD is probably my favorite ELLEGARDEN album, but lately I've been liking Pepperoni Quattro! I hope you've been listening to music you love!

have fun mari, we're ALWAYS here and ready for you to come backkkkkk~
AAAAA I FEEL SO BAD IVE BEEN FAILING THE VIBE CHECK FOR WEEKS NOW!!!

I’m doing pretty well! I’ve been falling back into some bad habits though which hopefully will be passing soon. I recently found a synthv cover of oyasumination with a male voice and I have never felt better. I’m so glad to be back!

This goes out to everyone: if you ever need anything please DM me!! I’m here to help, plus it keeps me active! Anyways aaaa gotta catch up on the notifications!!!
 
I keep on forgetting to practice Japanese even though I finally found a career path that it would be useful for aaaa. To be honest, I haven’t baked something proper in a while. Life has been kicking my ass currently and I’m really tired.

In other news, if I keep up my Japanese practice and get to N2, I’m thinking about working as a manga/video game translator. Maybe in Japan, that what I’m hoping for at least, but I’m unsure that I’ll be able to find a job there
 
翻訳ユニットを作ろう!ブランクさんもマリさんもあたし!

(i can always practice with you!!!!
Aaa リシアさんありがとう!I’ll definitely take you up on that offer.

それはとても楽しいことです。ポケモンの未訳のスピンオフ作品やファンコミックとか?
 
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