DRX.maliant
Legio nomen mihi est, quia multi sumus.
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2022
- Messages
- 76
- Reaction score
- 98
- Pronouns
- It/Its
username: DRX.maliant
password: ******************
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////
op{"No_Problem"}.per.start = true
FIC #0002 — Mt. Silver, Johto;
hmm, quite the crowd here. hi!
So i suppose we’re keeping the light-heartedness here… just cuz i guess.
dont forget to pack your bags and bring an inhaler. i dont have an extra one. oh, also bring some contacts… or glasses… smth like that. its going to be bright in here.
lack of outlines and stuff? CHECK
injected No Problem? CHECK
tested lights and lasers? CHECK
PUB-G? … wait… hang on… where we droppin? Mylta? yoyoyoyoyo
quick warning: video contains rapidly flashing lights. youve been warned
Today is, well, a very special day that only comes once a year: Christmas. Festive cheer roams around, even throughout the rural parts of the Kanto region. Copious amounts of lights decorate each home and tree, with ornaments and ribbons added for extra flair. Everybody roaming about is also appropriately dressed, ranging from Santa costumes and little elves to Grinches, and everything in between.
Out in the farthest stretches of Kanto—we aren’t even in Kanto at this point, but humour me here—lies Mt. Silver, a cold, barren peak. Not much is known about the outside topography of the mountain, but what is known is that the Kanto champion, Red, resides inside. The road that leads to his cave isn’t even paved by normal machinery, rather it is the footsteps of many prospecting challengers that’ve created this path. Quite a large group of people now walk this path, but they aren’t walking it to challenge Red. Oh no, they’re here for a completely different purpose.
“Ugh, was this path always this long?” Green sighs. “And to think he still hasn’t moved to someplace more hospitable.”
“That’s Red to ya,” Blue chuckles, a wry smile on her face. “If there’s one thing that doesn’t change, it’s his place of residence.”
“I was expecting something that’d poke fun at him, but I suppose that also works.” Both Blue and Green turn around to quickly check that everybody is still there. Yellow is trying to balance Chuchu and the two boxes that she’s carrying, and… uh oh, Silver’s looking annoyed again.
“Alright, what’s gone on with you guys?” Blue chuckles. “Gold, Crystal, let’s not get ourselves on the naughty list, shall we? Santa would absolutely disapprove.” It turns out that Gold and Crystal are exchanging verbal jabs over who could produce a better Christmas gift.
“Sorry, Ma’am,” Gold says.
“My apologies,” Crystal adds in.
“Good.” A further tilt of the head reveals Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, and Platinum happily conversing away, and behind them are Diamond and Pearl. Could those two be acting as bodyguards? Blue can only wonder. They act quite formal around her.
“Hey, enough. They’re all here, let’s get going,” Green says exasperatedly as he gives Blue a light slap on the shoulder. “I’d rather not keep the old man waiting.”
“Ow~, c’mon. What’re you calling him, old? Aren’t you two the same age?” she asks.
“It’s what happens when you live inside a mountain your whole life.”
“And what, if you were in his position, you’d be older?”
“Hey.” Blue can’t help but let out a light laugh at this as she turns to continue following the path. It doesn’t take them long, as they finally arrive.
“Hey, Red!” Blue and Yellow say in unison as they walk through the cave entrance. “Merry Christmas!”
“What’s up, old man,” Green says as he daps up Red.
“Same can be said of you,” Red replies with a slight chuckle. “Merry Christmas, old man.” The four let out a good laugh at Red’s remark. “I see you’ve brought a lot of stuff. You can set those here.” He points to a tree at the corner of the cave. It’s obviously fake, but the other three have to point it out.
“No way, is that a real tree?!” Blue exclaims. “Oh my goodness, I didn’t know that trees could grow in caves!” Of course, this is perfectly timed with everybody else in the group entering the cave, and thus her remark is the first thing they hear.
“Wait, that tree is real?” Gold asks, to which he gets a harsh hook from Crystal.
“No, you absolute dunce, that’s a fake tree,” she sighs. “Didn’t they teach you that trees can’t grow in caves?”
“That tree’s real?” Platinum pipes in. Chaos ensues… well, not really chaos, though the only person not involved in it is Ruby. He’s absolutely appalled by the aesthetic—rather, the overall lack of it—and his mind runs through the many improvements he can possibly make. His thoughts, however, are interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. It’s Red’s.
“Hey. I hear you’re quite the big decor expert,” he says. “Merry Christmas. Maybe I should get you to help out with getting this place decorated. Oh, you also brought stuff. Here, let me take that. Make yourself comfortable.”
Ruby is at a loss for words. He expected Red to be more… intimidating. Even after Red takes the gift-wrapped box out of his hands, he’s still shocked by it all.
“Ruby? Ruby? Earth to Ruby? Are you there?” Sapphire asks, snapping him out of his daze.
“Gah! Oh, uh, sorry,” he replies. “What’s up? Where do you want to sit?”
While Ruby and Sapphire go to the makeshift dining area (it’s not a dining area at all, Red’s probably stated that just to be hospitable), Red greets Emerald, Platinum, Diamond, and Pearl, and helps them get settled. It’s not long before everybody is settled, food is brought out (who knew Red could be a good cook? is this what living in a mountain your whole life does to you?), and the symphony of chewing ensues. Very quickly, an accompanying symphony of conversation joins in, and for the time being it is all fun and laughs.
“Wow, I’m full,” Blue sighs. “That was really good, Red. Shall we start the game?”
“Thanks. Well, up to you guys,” Red replies. “I’ll get this cleaned and out of the way.”
“I’ll help. Ruby, Crystal, someone get everything set up,” Green orders.
“Got it,” Ruby, Crystal, and Emerald say in unison. As they cut and number slips of paper, Ruby takes the time to mutter the word “jinx” for fun. In total, there are thirteen slips of paper, numbered one to thirteen. Once Red and Green finish cleaning the makeshift table, Silver, Diamond, and Pearl move presents to said table, while Emerald presents each person a slip of paper.
“Oooh, I got number seven,” Yellow remarks. “That’s not bad, right?”
“Middle of the pack,” Green replies. “Average.”
“That’s average? What’re you, a professional Asian?”
“Woah, hold on a sec, that’s messed up.” Everybody gets a good laugh at this. Emerald almost drops the pile of paper, and Silver lets out a smile as well; it’s probably the first time he’s smiled all day.
“What? I got two?!” Platinum exclaims.
“Better keep what you’ve grabbed close, Lady,” both Diamond and Pearl tell her. “You never know who will be out for vengeance.”
“Um, what is that supposed to mean?!”
It takes a while for everybody to figure out what their numbers are, but once the chaos subsides, the order becomes apparent. Emerald is the first to grab a gift, which turns out to be a dart gun. Platinum nabs a couple bags of dark roast coffee beans. Red makes it out with a frying pan. Silver plucks out… hang on.
“Who bought a bar of silver?!” he asks. Even a guy like Silver is surprised at this, though everybody else explodes in laughter.
“Better watch out, mate,” Gold chuckles. “That’s getting stolen in no time.”
Gold simply cannot be more correct. Diamond snags the bar of silver, which brings out even more laughter from everybody else. Silver can only sulk as he walks back towards the pile and grabs a water bottle.
“This’ll do, I suppose,” he remarks. Sapphire, on this cue, gets a bottle of rose wine and a tin of wafer rolls. Yellow yoinks the frying pan from Red, to which he ends up grabbing a pair of blankets. Blue yoinks the bottle of rose wine and tin of wafer rolls, simply saying, “Sorry, simply couldn’t resist.” Sapphire, feeling a tad upset, surveys the pile, before realising that she can return the favour, and yoinks the pair of blankets.
“Oh c’mon, don’t bully the host, man,” Green sarcastically remarks as Red pulls a box of ornaments. Pearl grabs a heated blanket… wait a second, someone bought a heated blanket?
“Awww, I wanted that,” Platinum pouts. Little does anyone know, she’s got a plan.
“Heh, I can help with that,” Green says as he yoinks the coffee. “I could use some more coffee at home, too.” Platinum isn’t even upset at this, as her eyes instantly beam at the sight of the heated blanket.
“Thank you, Pearl,” she says with the brightest smile as she yoinks the heated blanket, much to everybody’s chagrin.
“Hold on, is an item locked after two steals or three?” Pearl asks the crowd as he surveys everything.
“Three,” Blue replies. She’s incredibly tempted to just pop the bottle of wine open and chug it down.
“Thanks.” He takes a little longer to survey the possible options, before yoinking the dart gun. “Sorry, man. Don’t you already have a projectile weapon?” Emerald doesn’t even bother protesting, and grabs a box of spicy instant ramen.
“What?!” he exclaims. “I don’t even eat spicy food!”
Ruby grabs a bag from the pile. It’s the only bag there. He turns it over, and out falls a piece of paper. Oohs and aahs are heard from the others, which leads to laughter. He picks up the piece of paper and unfolds it.
“Does it say anything?” Crystal asks, genuinely interested.
“‘Your gift will be wheeled in’,” he reads. Everybody looks around, confused, and turns at the instant sound of movement. It’s Platinum. She’s trying to hold the laughter in.
“Oh no,” she simply states as she walks outside. Once she knows that she’s in the clear, she starts laughing. “He chose it. He actually chose it. Oh no,” she mutters to herself as she grabs the hand truck and positions it under the giant box. It takes a good while to get everything together, but she manages to wheel it in.
Meanwhile, in the cave, everybody is still confused. What was that all about?
“Psst, Ruby, cover your eyes,” Sapphire whispers in his ear. “I don’t think it sounds good.” Of course, at this direction, he does cover his eyes.
“I mean, it can’t be that bad, right?” Crystal remarks. “This is White Elephant, it’s supposed to bring out the creative side- what the heck?” She is interrupted by a rumbling. It’s Platinum, wheeling in a giant box.
“Sorry for the wait, you can open your eyes,” she says through her huffs and puffs. Ruby does as instructed, and is greeted with a giant box.
“What on Earth?” he asks as he gets up and walks over to it. Putting his hand to his chin, he can only ponder what could be inside, before deciding the only way to find out is to open it, and carefully unwraps the box, before carefully cutting it open. Inside is a barrel, also gift-wrapped. “How much wrapping paper did you use?!” he exclaims.
“Clearly not enough,” Emerald chuckles as the former suffers through trying to unwrap the barrel. Finally, he gets all of it off, and can only stare at what he’s gotten.
“What could this possibly be?” he wonders out loud, before getting a thought, It’s terrifying, but it’s the only one he can think of. “Wait, is this oil?!”
“... … what?” a few say in unison. Why on Earth did Platinum bring oil to a White Elephant?
“You bought a two thousand yuan oil can?!” Sapphire exclaims.
“You get,” Platinum starts, before laughing. “You get fif-.” Again, she is interrupted due to her inability to contain herself. As she leans over, hands on her stomach, wheezing her head off, she tries to muster the ability to say what Ruby’s just gotten without laughing, but it’s just so difficult. “You get fifty-five gallons of crude oil,” she finally manages through the wheezing, before falling on the couch, her wheezing quickly transitioning to uncontrollable laughter. Ruby can only stand there, jaw dropped. shocked, while everybody else is either laughing or just as terrified. Through the madness, Platinum’s whispers of “Help,” and “I can’t breathe,” can be heard, but when has someone ever died from laughing too hard?
“We… are not bringing that home,” Sapphire states. Diamond takes the time to walk up to Ruby.
“By the way, since Lady is unable to properly function, I shall take the time to state that the Berlitz Family shall ship the other fourteen to you later,” he tells him. Ruby simply cannot believe what he is hearing.
“Wait, hang on a second,” he says as he takes off his beanie. “‘The other fourteen’?!” He turns to Platinum, who is still lying on the couch dying of laughter. “You bought fifteen barrels of oil?!” Everybody explodes in laughter at this. Gold, in that very moment, spits out his sip of water.
“You can actually buy fifteen barrels of oil?” he asks, perplexed.
“Yup. I wasn’t sure if it was possible, but if Lady says it’s possible, then it is,” Diamond shrugs.
It takes an extremely long time for Platinum to calm down and compose herself, but it’s understandable. If anyone else gifted barrels of oil for White Elephant, they would also be laughing just as hard. Crystal nabs a pair of tickets to a baseball game, and Gold yoinks the spicy instant ramen.
“Thanks, Gold,” Emerald says. “I can’t have that stuff anyway.”
“Of course,” Gold replies. “Gotta find some way to keep the addiction going.”
“Wait, what?” Deciding that it be too much to follow into that, he puts a hand to his chin. “Hmm, what’s ripe for the taking?”
“Take Blue’s wine,” Red jokingly offers.
“No! Don’t you dare!” Blue protests at this, much to Red’s amusement. Emerald makes his decision at that instant, and yoinks the bar of silver. Diamond, somewhat upset at the theft, grabs the last item, which turns out to be a pair of battery-powered gloves, thus ending the game.
“Phew, that was exciting,” Yellow remarks.
“That was terrifying,” Platinum tries to correct.
“Easy for you to say,” Ruby sighs. “Where am I going to place fifteen barrels of oil?” Again, everybody explodes in laughter at this.
“Least I found a way to keep the addiction going,” Gold and Green say as they bump fists. “Overall, I’d say today was a success.”
“I can’t be mad, to be honest,” Emerald says. “I mean, it’s a bar of silver.”
“What?” Silver asks, eliciting a chuckle from the group. It’s hard for them to laugh any more than they already have, for fear of hurting themselves; besides, Platinum’s laughed so hard that if she tries again she probably needs to be whisked to a hospital.
“That was fun,” Blue says. “Thanks for having us over, Red.”
“Thank you,” the rest of the group adds in unison. “Merry Christmas, Red!” Red smiles at this.
“Thanks for coming, everyone. Merry Christmas,” he replies.
It takes quite a bit for everybody to clean up, but their efforts are rewarded with a spotless cave. With that, people leave, one by one, until it’s just Blue, Green, and Yellow remaining.
“Thanks for arranging this,” Red tells the three.
“Of course,” Green shrugs. “Don’t sweat it.”
“Mhm. Anyway,” Blue jumps onto her feet and heads towards the table. “Now that the kids are headed home, maybe we should crack the glass open?”
“Nah, I’m too tired,” Red sighs. “A lot of things happened today.”
“Yeah. Also,” Yellow says as she stands up. “I have one last thing for you, Red.”
“Oh?”
“Hey, Chuchu, can you bring that other box over?” she asks, to which the Pikachu lugs over a quite long box. “Thanks, Chuchu.” She then passes it to Red. “Merry Christmas, old man,” she says, using her best Green impression.
“Are you trying to mock me?” Green asks.
“What do you mean, mock? It sounded pretty good,” Blue interjects. Red doesn’t mind, as he’s busy opening the box. Once he does, his eyes widen.
“What… on Earth? This is a pillow with… ?!”
password: ******************
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////
op{"No_Problem"}.per.start = true
FIC #0002 — Mt. Silver, Johto;
hmm, quite the crowd here. hi!
So i suppose we’re keeping the light-heartedness here… just cuz i guess.
dont forget to pack your bags and bring an inhaler. i dont have an extra one. oh, also bring some contacts… or glasses… smth like that. its going to be bright in here.
lack of outlines and stuff? CHECK
injected No Problem? CHECK
tested lights and lasers? CHECK
PUB-G? … wait… hang on… where we droppin? Mylta? yoyoyoyoyo
quick warning: video contains rapidly flashing lights. youve been warned
Today is, well, a very special day that only comes once a year: Christmas. Festive cheer roams around, even throughout the rural parts of the Kanto region. Copious amounts of lights decorate each home and tree, with ornaments and ribbons added for extra flair. Everybody roaming about is also appropriately dressed, ranging from Santa costumes and little elves to Grinches, and everything in between.
Out in the farthest stretches of Kanto—we aren’t even in Kanto at this point, but humour me here—lies Mt. Silver, a cold, barren peak. Not much is known about the outside topography of the mountain, but what is known is that the Kanto champion, Red, resides inside. The road that leads to his cave isn’t even paved by normal machinery, rather it is the footsteps of many prospecting challengers that’ve created this path. Quite a large group of people now walk this path, but they aren’t walking it to challenge Red. Oh no, they’re here for a completely different purpose.
“Ugh, was this path always this long?” Green sighs. “And to think he still hasn’t moved to someplace more hospitable.”
“That’s Red to ya,” Blue chuckles, a wry smile on her face. “If there’s one thing that doesn’t change, it’s his place of residence.”
“I was expecting something that’d poke fun at him, but I suppose that also works.” Both Blue and Green turn around to quickly check that everybody is still there. Yellow is trying to balance Chuchu and the two boxes that she’s carrying, and… uh oh, Silver’s looking annoyed again.
“Alright, what’s gone on with you guys?” Blue chuckles. “Gold, Crystal, let’s not get ourselves on the naughty list, shall we? Santa would absolutely disapprove.” It turns out that Gold and Crystal are exchanging verbal jabs over who could produce a better Christmas gift.
“Sorry, Ma’am,” Gold says.
“My apologies,” Crystal adds in.
“Good.” A further tilt of the head reveals Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, and Platinum happily conversing away, and behind them are Diamond and Pearl. Could those two be acting as bodyguards? Blue can only wonder. They act quite formal around her.
“Hey, enough. They’re all here, let’s get going,” Green says exasperatedly as he gives Blue a light slap on the shoulder. “I’d rather not keep the old man waiting.”
“Ow~, c’mon. What’re you calling him, old? Aren’t you two the same age?” she asks.
“It’s what happens when you live inside a mountain your whole life.”
“And what, if you were in his position, you’d be older?”
“Hey.” Blue can’t help but let out a light laugh at this as she turns to continue following the path. It doesn’t take them long, as they finally arrive.
“Hey, Red!” Blue and Yellow say in unison as they walk through the cave entrance. “Merry Christmas!”
“What’s up, old man,” Green says as he daps up Red.
“Same can be said of you,” Red replies with a slight chuckle. “Merry Christmas, old man.” The four let out a good laugh at Red’s remark. “I see you’ve brought a lot of stuff. You can set those here.” He points to a tree at the corner of the cave. It’s obviously fake, but the other three have to point it out.
“No way, is that a real tree?!” Blue exclaims. “Oh my goodness, I didn’t know that trees could grow in caves!” Of course, this is perfectly timed with everybody else in the group entering the cave, and thus her remark is the first thing they hear.
“Wait, that tree is real?” Gold asks, to which he gets a harsh hook from Crystal.
“No, you absolute dunce, that’s a fake tree,” she sighs. “Didn’t they teach you that trees can’t grow in caves?”
“That tree’s real?” Platinum pipes in. Chaos ensues… well, not really chaos, though the only person not involved in it is Ruby. He’s absolutely appalled by the aesthetic—rather, the overall lack of it—and his mind runs through the many improvements he can possibly make. His thoughts, however, are interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. It’s Red’s.
“Hey. I hear you’re quite the big decor expert,” he says. “Merry Christmas. Maybe I should get you to help out with getting this place decorated. Oh, you also brought stuff. Here, let me take that. Make yourself comfortable.”
Ruby is at a loss for words. He expected Red to be more… intimidating. Even after Red takes the gift-wrapped box out of his hands, he’s still shocked by it all.
“Ruby? Ruby? Earth to Ruby? Are you there?” Sapphire asks, snapping him out of his daze.
“Gah! Oh, uh, sorry,” he replies. “What’s up? Where do you want to sit?”
While Ruby and Sapphire go to the makeshift dining area (it’s not a dining area at all, Red’s probably stated that just to be hospitable), Red greets Emerald, Platinum, Diamond, and Pearl, and helps them get settled. It’s not long before everybody is settled, food is brought out (who knew Red could be a good cook? is this what living in a mountain your whole life does to you?), and the symphony of chewing ensues. Very quickly, an accompanying symphony of conversation joins in, and for the time being it is all fun and laughs.
“Wow, I’m full,” Blue sighs. “That was really good, Red. Shall we start the game?”
“Thanks. Well, up to you guys,” Red replies. “I’ll get this cleaned and out of the way.”
“I’ll help. Ruby, Crystal, someone get everything set up,” Green orders.
“Got it,” Ruby, Crystal, and Emerald say in unison. As they cut and number slips of paper, Ruby takes the time to mutter the word “jinx” for fun. In total, there are thirteen slips of paper, numbered one to thirteen. Once Red and Green finish cleaning the makeshift table, Silver, Diamond, and Pearl move presents to said table, while Emerald presents each person a slip of paper.
“Oooh, I got number seven,” Yellow remarks. “That’s not bad, right?”
“Middle of the pack,” Green replies. “Average.”
“That’s average? What’re you, a professional Asian?”
“Woah, hold on a sec, that’s messed up.” Everybody gets a good laugh at this. Emerald almost drops the pile of paper, and Silver lets out a smile as well; it’s probably the first time he’s smiled all day.
“What? I got two?!” Platinum exclaims.
“Better keep what you’ve grabbed close, Lady,” both Diamond and Pearl tell her. “You never know who will be out for vengeance.”
“Um, what is that supposed to mean?!”
It takes a while for everybody to figure out what their numbers are, but once the chaos subsides, the order becomes apparent. Emerald is the first to grab a gift, which turns out to be a dart gun. Platinum nabs a couple bags of dark roast coffee beans. Red makes it out with a frying pan. Silver plucks out… hang on.
“Who bought a bar of silver?!” he asks. Even a guy like Silver is surprised at this, though everybody else explodes in laughter.
“Better watch out, mate,” Gold chuckles. “That’s getting stolen in no time.”
Gold simply cannot be more correct. Diamond snags the bar of silver, which brings out even more laughter from everybody else. Silver can only sulk as he walks back towards the pile and grabs a water bottle.
“This’ll do, I suppose,” he remarks. Sapphire, on this cue, gets a bottle of rose wine and a tin of wafer rolls. Yellow yoinks the frying pan from Red, to which he ends up grabbing a pair of blankets. Blue yoinks the bottle of rose wine and tin of wafer rolls, simply saying, “Sorry, simply couldn’t resist.” Sapphire, feeling a tad upset, surveys the pile, before realising that she can return the favour, and yoinks the pair of blankets.
“Oh c’mon, don’t bully the host, man,” Green sarcastically remarks as Red pulls a box of ornaments. Pearl grabs a heated blanket… wait a second, someone bought a heated blanket?
“Awww, I wanted that,” Platinum pouts. Little does anyone know, she’s got a plan.
“Heh, I can help with that,” Green says as he yoinks the coffee. “I could use some more coffee at home, too.” Platinum isn’t even upset at this, as her eyes instantly beam at the sight of the heated blanket.
“Thank you, Pearl,” she says with the brightest smile as she yoinks the heated blanket, much to everybody’s chagrin.
“Hold on, is an item locked after two steals or three?” Pearl asks the crowd as he surveys everything.
“Three,” Blue replies. She’s incredibly tempted to just pop the bottle of wine open and chug it down.
“Thanks.” He takes a little longer to survey the possible options, before yoinking the dart gun. “Sorry, man. Don’t you already have a projectile weapon?” Emerald doesn’t even bother protesting, and grabs a box of spicy instant ramen.
“What?!” he exclaims. “I don’t even eat spicy food!”
Ruby grabs a bag from the pile. It’s the only bag there. He turns it over, and out falls a piece of paper. Oohs and aahs are heard from the others, which leads to laughter. He picks up the piece of paper and unfolds it.
“Does it say anything?” Crystal asks, genuinely interested.
“‘Your gift will be wheeled in’,” he reads. Everybody looks around, confused, and turns at the instant sound of movement. It’s Platinum. She’s trying to hold the laughter in.
“Oh no,” she simply states as she walks outside. Once she knows that she’s in the clear, she starts laughing. “He chose it. He actually chose it. Oh no,” she mutters to herself as she grabs the hand truck and positions it under the giant box. It takes a good while to get everything together, but she manages to wheel it in.
Meanwhile, in the cave, everybody is still confused. What was that all about?
“Psst, Ruby, cover your eyes,” Sapphire whispers in his ear. “I don’t think it sounds good.” Of course, at this direction, he does cover his eyes.
“I mean, it can’t be that bad, right?” Crystal remarks. “This is White Elephant, it’s supposed to bring out the creative side- what the heck?” She is interrupted by a rumbling. It’s Platinum, wheeling in a giant box.
“Sorry for the wait, you can open your eyes,” she says through her huffs and puffs. Ruby does as instructed, and is greeted with a giant box.
“What on Earth?” he asks as he gets up and walks over to it. Putting his hand to his chin, he can only ponder what could be inside, before deciding the only way to find out is to open it, and carefully unwraps the box, before carefully cutting it open. Inside is a barrel, also gift-wrapped. “How much wrapping paper did you use?!” he exclaims.
“Clearly not enough,” Emerald chuckles as the former suffers through trying to unwrap the barrel. Finally, he gets all of it off, and can only stare at what he’s gotten.
“What could this possibly be?” he wonders out loud, before getting a thought, It’s terrifying, but it’s the only one he can think of. “Wait, is this oil?!”
“... … what?” a few say in unison. Why on Earth did Platinum bring oil to a White Elephant?
“You bought a two thousand yuan oil can?!” Sapphire exclaims.
“You get,” Platinum starts, before laughing. “You get fif-.” Again, she is interrupted due to her inability to contain herself. As she leans over, hands on her stomach, wheezing her head off, she tries to muster the ability to say what Ruby’s just gotten without laughing, but it’s just so difficult. “You get fifty-five gallons of crude oil,” she finally manages through the wheezing, before falling on the couch, her wheezing quickly transitioning to uncontrollable laughter. Ruby can only stand there, jaw dropped. shocked, while everybody else is either laughing or just as terrified. Through the madness, Platinum’s whispers of “Help,” and “I can’t breathe,” can be heard, but when has someone ever died from laughing too hard?
“We… are not bringing that home,” Sapphire states. Diamond takes the time to walk up to Ruby.
“By the way, since Lady is unable to properly function, I shall take the time to state that the Berlitz Family shall ship the other fourteen to you later,” he tells him. Ruby simply cannot believe what he is hearing.
“Wait, hang on a second,” he says as he takes off his beanie. “‘The other fourteen’?!” He turns to Platinum, who is still lying on the couch dying of laughter. “You bought fifteen barrels of oil?!” Everybody explodes in laughter at this. Gold, in that very moment, spits out his sip of water.
“You can actually buy fifteen barrels of oil?” he asks, perplexed.
“Yup. I wasn’t sure if it was possible, but if Lady says it’s possible, then it is,” Diamond shrugs.
It takes an extremely long time for Platinum to calm down and compose herself, but it’s understandable. If anyone else gifted barrels of oil for White Elephant, they would also be laughing just as hard. Crystal nabs a pair of tickets to a baseball game, and Gold yoinks the spicy instant ramen.
“Thanks, Gold,” Emerald says. “I can’t have that stuff anyway.”
“Of course,” Gold replies. “Gotta find some way to keep the addiction going.”
“Wait, what?” Deciding that it be too much to follow into that, he puts a hand to his chin. “Hmm, what’s ripe for the taking?”
“Take Blue’s wine,” Red jokingly offers.
“No! Don’t you dare!” Blue protests at this, much to Red’s amusement. Emerald makes his decision at that instant, and yoinks the bar of silver. Diamond, somewhat upset at the theft, grabs the last item, which turns out to be a pair of battery-powered gloves, thus ending the game.
“Phew, that was exciting,” Yellow remarks.
“That was terrifying,” Platinum tries to correct.
“Easy for you to say,” Ruby sighs. “Where am I going to place fifteen barrels of oil?” Again, everybody explodes in laughter at this.
“Least I found a way to keep the addiction going,” Gold and Green say as they bump fists. “Overall, I’d say today was a success.”
“I can’t be mad, to be honest,” Emerald says. “I mean, it’s a bar of silver.”
“What?” Silver asks, eliciting a chuckle from the group. It’s hard for them to laugh any more than they already have, for fear of hurting themselves; besides, Platinum’s laughed so hard that if she tries again she probably needs to be whisked to a hospital.
“That was fun,” Blue says. “Thanks for having us over, Red.”
“Thank you,” the rest of the group adds in unison. “Merry Christmas, Red!” Red smiles at this.
“Thanks for coming, everyone. Merry Christmas,” he replies.
It takes quite a bit for everybody to clean up, but their efforts are rewarded with a spotless cave. With that, people leave, one by one, until it’s just Blue, Green, and Yellow remaining.
“Thanks for arranging this,” Red tells the three.
“Of course,” Green shrugs. “Don’t sweat it.”
“Mhm. Anyway,” Blue jumps onto her feet and heads towards the table. “Now that the kids are headed home, maybe we should crack the glass open?”
“Nah, I’m too tired,” Red sighs. “A lot of things happened today.”
“Yeah. Also,” Yellow says as she stands up. “I have one last thing for you, Red.”
“Oh?”
“Hey, Chuchu, can you bring that other box over?” she asks, to which the Pikachu lugs over a quite long box. “Thanks, Chuchu.” She then passes it to Red. “Merry Christmas, old man,” she says, using her best Green impression.
“Are you trying to mock me?” Green asks.
“What do you mean, mock? It sounded pretty good,” Blue interjects. Red doesn’t mind, as he’s busy opening the box. Once he does, his eyes widen.
“What… on Earth? This is a pillow with… ?!”
