TEEN: Nori's Poem Anthology

[Nori]

There's more work put to digital and onto the forums

(I'm sorry that it may have come from a rough time, which details I of course don't know. And of course, pain, distress, suffering, all the different types of hurt, can sometimes be potent fuel for the artistic endeavors...)

The only things I have remaining is some stuff I wrote during my second creative writing class that were either exercises or were during exercise time, the poems I had to really force because of class requirements, and the weird rap stuff... I might do the first, but we'll see (it's the reason why I put a number to the first addendum X) ).

Yeah, a lot of them didn't come from the best of times, and it's fairly obvious that poetry was my out after mid-2005.

 

[System Error]

Well I was looking for more things to review, but a lot of the things I wanted were from users who had peaced off the forums entirely. Then I remembered this. This seems like an appropriate way to escalate things. So let's read and review these. ALL OF THEM. Screw you note that this thread is from 1 year ago, you can't stop me!

So these are mostly going to end up short quips and remarks rather than my usual style, but here goes!!

• Moon: Hm, a small short one here. Interesting thing to think about, when you look at something you see everyone looking at it.
• Love and Memories: I can definitely see the weird mood here, hee. It almost reads as a soliquay at times, of two lovers who passed away yet their love lives forever.
• Girl: Not knowing how someone feels for sure can often be the most painful thing, so for having not dated, it's pretty spot on. Even in my experiences in dating, there were doubts. From the other end mind you which eventually led to a breakup over paranoia.
• (Cavort of Spring): Well this is certainly a funky haiku. But yay, dating at this point!
• My Secret: "It's a secret that I love you" probably feels like a good premise for a song. Kinda something, whispering it to her while she's unconscious.
• Am I What I Am?: Sort of a different style here, especially the last few single lines. Not sure what else to say about this one.
• I Kissed Her Today: So...you kissed a girl and you liked it? Kisses can set the tone of a relationship or just be telling, though!
• Once and Last Time Together: Kind of get the sense of a breakup that did not happen by choice, but by parents moving away. Alas, tis a thing that can shatter friendships or relationships, especially back then when the internet wasn't as prevailant.
• Stream Fiend: Not sure what to make of this one, heh. You have all these love-related ones then you have...this. But hey, if you got good marks on it, all the better, right? Also funny how the title takes on a different meaning these days.
• The Compy: An ode to computers. Particularly like the line about fireflies, comparable to their monitors. Also I read the last stanza in this dramatic opratic voice.
• Ode to Writer’s Block: Well this is a hilariously oxymoronic one. Battling writer's block with a poem about writer's block. I assume the whole tone here is supposed to be sarcastic, because who could ever love writer's block?
• (untitled): This is suddenly morbid and pessimistic. Then again, a lot of poetry is morbid and pessimistic.

---

• Tombstone of Happiness: Yikes!! I hope you didn't have actual pnuemonia. Definitely no singin' in the rain here.
• I Love Without Being Loved: Depression sucks. Man this one is dark and shows. The S-word isn't spoken, but it's there.
• Four-line Observation: A skateboard, huh? Have a hard time imagining that one being literal, so I assume it's a metaphorical skateboard. But if it is real, well, quite a coincidence given Fic!Nori rides one.
• Bowls: I like this one. It's simple, but the juxtaposition between the two really stands out. The events could come one after another two. Or possibly be cylical.
• And I Should Be Happy?: Random thoughts, Mr. Death is just a troll and likes to see people suffer. In fact, he'd go out of his way to make sure you live. Then the joke turns on him when you become a badass soldier who survives because it's not your time to die.
• Airport Security: Sometimes, random conversation gets struck up! And ends just as fast. Dunno where the security comes in, though.
• Ocean Gaze: Definitely a more positive vibe to this one, even if it isn't fully positive. Funny how the sudden shift kind of tells a story to your life.

I think I'll swerve into the addendum, given the above, rather than going in posting order.

• Hi(, Gene's at the sea) gull: Man, with some elbow grease, I can see this one being like a metal song or something. And speaking of genres, the rap songs that never see the light of day here. Rip.
• religious 1: This one definitely stands out from the others, at least the first half. Actual rhyming! Definitely get a vibe of "pissed at the world, day of reckoning can't come soon enough" here.
• observation: They say that every person's life is a story in itself. Story means novel, so...I dunno where I'm going with this.
• religious 2: Huh, well I learned something today. Not sure who would write a slash instead, but given YHWH it doesn't surprise me much either.
• children: Painfully relevant, especially in this day and age. Heck some old politicians act more like children!
• oblivious: But who is truly perfect? Rhetorical questions aside, also pretty relevant.
• music: Sleep is something that people who are depressed can do. Just the feeling of not wanting to get up because why is any of it worth it? See it with my brother a lot.
• time has come: CRASH DOWN ON THE WICKED, METEOR!! I mean, wrote that before opening and it opens with the stars will fall. Go figure. It's definitely another morbid one, kind of a welcoming the day of reckoning feel.

And back to the first post

• Mysterious Feeling: The hell of jukeboxes that only has one annoying song. I like the use of lowercase letters at the start of sentences though, makes it stand out a little
• Empty Clock: Well you might not be able to see the hands, but time keeps ticking away regardless. I dunno, marathoning these at 2am and running out of witty things to say.
• Longing: Kind of like this one. I kind of see where you were going for it: you have sort of a theme of the senses and communication going on here, between visual and audible. Then you have a sound adding color, kind of an oxymoron. They go together, they blend together.
• Writers Are Murderers: So you finally know the truth, welcome fellow writer, to our murder society I mean the pen is mightier than the sword so of course writers can murder. Actually, leaving aside the, writers can kill. Just ask the news media. Of course, if you type, you aren't murdering anything.
• Reach: Another poem with a bit of meter to it. Kind of a philosophical one here. Not too much to say on it.

---

Last push. After 2:30am now, wanted to start after my friend I text went to sleep, promptly yawned and was like, yikes I'm falling asleep. No matter, PUSH THROUGH.

• Torment of a Paradox: Remind me sometime if you're still around here and I'm still writing that far in for help writing a probable demisexual character of mine. Aside, can definitely see a shift in style here. It still has that touch from before, but with more positive vibes behind it. Wrongful attraction. Kind of feels tragic there.
• Haiku Pair: Well I mean in haiku you don't necessarily have to go 5-7-5. Oof though, those author's notes. :<
• The Breeze I Once Knew: Yeah, definitely symbolic of a breakup.
• Shamandalie the Vanished: Heh, the mistakes we make when not hearing things. I can see it as like a fictional place name or an exotic name, though. The context of Haiku pair's author's notes do a lot to explain this one.
• Agony: And these form a trio it seems. I especially like the line about a wrongful path of death. Contrast with some of the earlier poems, shows how far you went even if it was written in a moment of depression. It ends on a more hopeful note for the future too. Like this one!
• Canst Not Be Undone: Yeah, I can see the connection to the others. Definitely sort of ties in with the concept of a line being crossed and a mistake that can't be undone. Gets more philosophical as things go on.
• Recursion: Wounds can take a while to heal. And not to make a reference, but some wounds never do heal. Returning to that time definitely has a connection to the others, that said.
• Kiss the Star of Death: Imagine kissing the Death Star right before it destroys a planet. Then it breaks your heart. Dunno what more to say about this one, definitely more of the lamenting a breakup thing. Sorry if the commentary here is becoming a little silly in that regard.
• Cyclic Redundancy Error: Hey, something different! Running away from your problems and sorting them out can both be problematic. And sometimes, emotions can end up cylical or even self-feeding. And when you think about something for too long and go in circles, it can be hard to get it out of your head.
• Artificial Lumination: I kind of read this one as an ancient warning. It kind of rings true though: you can't help people who don't want to be helped, and trying to help them anyway can only cause problems. Instead, you should walk in the darkness with them. Funny enough, was looking up Japanese sayings about friends today, and one basically goes "better to walk in the dark with a friend than alone in the light".
• Mask: Definitely another relevant one here about how we act in front of different people, and how difficult it can be to change when people have certain perceptions and expectations.
• le masque: LE MASQUE!? /homer simpson . After that, I thought of Hata no Kokoro. And then one reading it, it kind of evokes Becoming the Mask. It kind of is a real thing, too.
• Porcelain Doll: Weird one. At a total loss for the allegory here, since the author's notes don't give much of a clue. A friend that supports but does not love?
• Sleep Haiku: Odd one, but I can relate to it. I can sleep when it's too cold, not when it's too hot. Like last summer I actually ended up passing out shirtless on the couch without a cover - and I like never sleep shirtless - because it was too damn hot. Although to contrast, my brother sometimes cranks the heat in his room like a furnace during the winter.
• 名前: Last oooone. And it's kind of philosophical. I like this one. Particularly the part where naming something gives it a spirit and soul, iirc that's an actual belief in some religions. It can tie into many things, like renaming an adopted pet or even giving a nickname to someone. But indeed, no matter what, giving something a name is giving a connection. And sometimes, yes, it can be a burden to live up to a name. So just be the man with no name

Well. I can't believe I read through all of those in one sitting over the course of a few hours. It probably shows a little how tired I was getting towards the end, lol. Sorry if some of this was incoherent or babbling or weird. Reading the "heavy-ish stuff" spoiler after the fact definitely puts some of this into context. Sorry you had to go through all that, and glad you're in a better spot these days. A lot of your poetry definitely shows an outpouring of emotion though. Metaphors could be a little odd sometimes, but that was mostly a nitpick. Very strong subject matter that like I said, sort of tells a story of your life in their own way.

This was certainly a way to spend a few hours though! I definitely enjoyed reading through them, although I have to admit, they were far different styles of poems than the rhyming ones I'm mostly used to - with a few haiku on the side. But hey, poems come in all shapes and sizes, particularly classical poetry. And hope to see some fics of yours here soon, those that can be posted here anyway

 

[Juliko]

Hello! I've decided to review your poems for the February review challenge! I decided to start with your 1998-2005 poems, and I gotta say, I like them a lot! They're all very well written and well done! I especially liked the one about Writer's Block, as it's painfully relatable. Your haikus are also very nice and well written, too! I'm pretty much echoing everything System Error says here. I'll read the rest of your poems later today, as I missed writing a review for yesterday. Have a good day!

 

[Nori]

Tombstone of Happiness: Yikes!! I hope you didn't have actual pnuemonia. Definitely no singin' in the rain here.

Nope, figurative pneumonia, likely depression.

Four-line Observation: A skateboard, huh? Have a hard time imagining that one being literal, so I assume it's a metaphorical skateboard. But if it is real, well, quite a coincidence given Fic!Nori rides one.

Yep, actual skateboard, but it wasn't mine.

Torment of a Paradox: Remind me sometime if you're still around here and I'm still writing that far in for help writing a probable demisexual character of mine. Aside, can definitely see a shift in style here. It still has that touch from before, but with more positive vibes behind it. Wrongful attraction. Kind of feels tragic there.

Yeah, she had a boyfriend from what I knew of the time. (Later I found out she wasn't actually female, and it was some thing he and his past girlfriend did (roleplaying as opposite genders in-game or something), but it just stuck around with him even though they were long separated.)

 

[Welkamo]

I’ve always been sentimental towards poetry. I wrote a lot in elementary school, but I kind of fell off of it. I want to get back to it, but whenever I try to write it I feel… embarrassed? Cringey? Idk. I would get more psychological about me feeling weird whenever I write more serious stuff that’s original and not Pokémon fanfic, but I’ve gone on a long enough tangent. Anyway…

I’m probably gonna read and review these poems backwards; starting small and building to more. I’m also riding in a car and might as well do something with my time.

With that out of the way, let’s read “le masque”.

i am the mask you see,
i am the mask you choose,
i am the mask that's yours.

i am the mask you wear,
i am the mask they see,
i am the mask you become.

i am the mask you chose,
i am the mask that stays,
i am the mask you became.

Favorite part of this besides the fact that it’s about the mask metaphor (I love that metaphor): the switch from present tense to past tense (choose to chose, become to became, etc.). It’s like how you choose to set up a facade, but then when you become it or face the consequences of putting up a front, it’s too late, you only have yourself to blame.

Good stuff. Will read more.

 

[Juliko]

Here for the February review challenge again. Just read your 2005-2012 poems, and I like them. I liked the one about airport security, as it's painfully accurate and relatable. But I'm not very good at critiquing poems, so I don't have much else to say.

 

[Nori]

These poems were written between roughly February 2004 and June 2005, and were in a small notebook I used for notes and other things, which I found yesterday while attempting to find something else. Luckily, I ended up putting slashes where line breaks should be for most of the beginning ones, some I was able to kinda figure out, and there were a couple I was completely unsure of, so I left them as a block of text. All of these will just be numbered since none of them have titles and I don't think I can apply the same schema to these as I did with the previous addendum.

---

(untitled 1)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

I guess this might've been the start of my depression?

Spoiler: Poem Body

Seems the world to me,
all is lost and not free
similar not are we.
To think for meaning
seems unprincipled toward
the short life
of individuality cannot exist long
nor be continued perpetually.

---

(untitled 2)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

Not much to say here.

Spoiler: Poem Body

Does the world know the danger
from corruption,
greed,
the fatality of following
ones that you trust most.
But is the world unliveable
with these menacing difficulties?
I think not.
But is the world safe?
I think not.

---

(untitled 3)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

Not entirely where the sense went in the middle of this one.

Spoiler: Poem Body

So cold the world is,
feel not remorse
toward the immaturity
in the world
there is but nothing else
life, death
is all that matters not.
The part of life
is but all nothing,
a fabrication of one's mind
do find not the meaning of life.

---

(untitled 4)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

I was likely somehow convinced back then that I'd find happiness if I found love, but there were other problems that I wasn't aware of.

Spoiler: Poem Body

To look at the world and say all is fine
is to lie.
But where does happiness lie?
Perhaps in the fountain of love?
But if the fountain of love can't be reached,
then happiness will not be found.

---

(untitled 5)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

Along with my depression, I also became fairly cynical.

Spoiler: Poem Body

Such immaturity, where did it come from?
Perhaps from social corruption.
Can the world not see beyond its corruption?
They are their own undoing; they know not of this.

---

(untitled 6)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

Kinda wish I remembered what sparked this one.

Spoiler: Poem Body

Ambivalence the world runs constantly with;
wanting to do something,
but wanting not.
All at once.
It is too much for the human mind to bear the weight,
for ambivalence is far too heavy,
and the human mind not any stronger
than a flawless stone of quartz.

---

(untitled 7)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

Now that I kinda think about it, perhaps there was some sort of societal pressure I might've been under that I wasn't aware of?

Spoiler: Poem Body

Society corrupts the lines
between good and evil
but so few know
of society's false security.

---

(untitled 8)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

Must've wrote this while stuck somewhere.

Spoiler: Poem Body

Sigh, for the time passes slowly.
The perception of time
based solely on the reality of society
but society is corrupt
distorting the strings of time
and any meaning is invalid.

---

(untitled 9)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

Yay more cynicism. Thinking about it now, the "societal pressure" I mentioned earlier might've just been because I really felt out of place in high school?

Spoiler: Poem Body

Finding reason within emotions is idiocy.
In emotions, there is no meaning, only feeling.
But is there such love as mature as I?
A love who can understand my view?
Most likely not.
Anyone can claim they are for me,
but they lie, wanting nothing by sex.
I see through that opaque facade;
I see through your lies;
anyone can go through life lying,
but what truth lies in it?
None.
I say that the world
is corrupt; only a test
to see the corruption of society
and oneself.
Perhaps the world will change,
but I have a grim outlook for the future.

---

(untitled 10)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

Dunno where the sense went with this one.

Spoiler: Poem Body

Stillness
my heart runs
black
the blanket of stars
and then again
stillness in my heart.

---

(untitled 11)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

Pretty sure this is separate from the following entry, since it's different in style and didn't have anything relevant at the top of the page, but because it was the page before it, it's hard to be entirely sure.

Spoiler: Poem Body

In times of struggle,
look to a full moon,
and I'll surely be watching.

The moments can pass without a care,
but to freeze them,
one can remember that moment.

Though I may leave,
do not be saddened,
for I am with you always in your heart.

---

(untitled 12 - riHa)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

This really isn't much of a poem, but probably more of the musings when dealing with an internal struggle. "riHa" was written at the top of these pages, which is the way I abbreviated names during the time period. It actually took me a bit to remember who riHa was, but eventually I did.

Spoiler: Poem Body

The one I love repudiated me, but that mattered not to me. I took to the matter to think, to surmount the opposition of life. Alas, life is full of surprises and ironies. I thought to myself: am I sanctioned to defeat life by my means of force? I resolved to throw down my weapons and find some other method of sorting the struggle of life. But I, a flimsy tree in the malevolent winds of life have felt the wind's powerful vigor uproot me from the ground below. But I clutched to that firm ground, leaving me bare and appearing unsuitable to take life on again, but I did. The winds may have uprooted me in every occasion, but the roots grow stronger. There may only be one force that can overcome the malevolent winds of life, and that force may very well be two entities becoming one through love and overcoming the winds of life together.

---

(untitled 13)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

This actually wasn't formatted in the way it appears here, but I think this is how I intended it to be (or at the least this format makes the most sense).

Spoiler: Poem Body

The wind runs cold,
not feeling anything;
seeming uncaring to the world.
The wind runs cold,
passing life by;
seeming uncaring to the world.
The wind runs cold,
remorse and chained to its master;
seeming uncaring to the world.
The wind is cold,
and uncaring to the world.

---

(untitled 14)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

This one is just musings, so probably not really a poem.

Spoiler: Poem Body

Just sometimes, it seems odd to look at a blank page and think what to write onto it. But it's worse to write something that takes thought and then think what to put next in an unsuccessful attempt to fill the page up.

---

(untitled 15)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

I think this was kinda supposed to be song-like? Not sure what the point was with the strange formatting change towards the end. While I only had slashes as newlines after the first four periods, if I hadn't intended this format, I would've used up the extra space.

Spoiler: Poem Body

Find a girl,
who buys no
expensive
clothing brands.
Find a girl,
who is pretty
without any makeup on.
Find a girl,
who don't act
like anyone else.
Find a girl,
who got some
common sense.
Find a girl,
who don't like
big crowds and
big city-towns.
A girl who
lives a hum-
ble life. One
who does not
mind using
technology.

---

(untitled 16)​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

Wasn't sure about how this was supposed to be structured and if it was just another sort of "musing".

Spoiler: Poem Body

The annihilation of one starts with corruption, corrupted by the evils of society. Find no comfort in the security of society, but find friends who will die with you.

 

[Nori]

(mis) guidance​

Spoiler: Author Commentary

Written around 27 March 2005, since that's when I had emailed it to my friend to share (I had been doing stuff with that email address and happened to find it). Not really too much that I can say about it since I don't exactly remember who it was about (I have an uncertain guess), and that it technically might be within the addendum 2 time frame? Oh right, I originally misspelled guidance with an e instead of an a, and eccentricity as eccentricy.

Spoiler: Poem Body

What (th)is feeling?
I love, but
I also feel
uneasy.
Perhaps she did
not receive my messages?

I want(ed) to talk
to her. To see how
her day went. But she
is a cat running here
and there
quicker
than
the
mind
can

e
v
e
n

c
a
t

c

h



u


p





.

But I love (her)
because of this quality of
her, eccentricity of her,
personality
of her.

How am I supposed to
(capture) this run(ning)-away kitty?
Surely not by force.

A bite results from petting(?)
Starvation results from helping(?)
Is her (cause of) death from me?
I wonder....

But I want to (caress)
care for this little,
unguided kitten. Give
it a place to return
when rain comes.

 

[Ryoma Maser]

Well, this is a strange thing to be reviewing for the event. Hi Nori! Figured since you've been reviewing my stuff for ages and you've been my best Discord friend for ages too now, it's about time review some of yours.

While I don't talk about it much, I do actually enjoy writing poetry and sometimes consider doing my own anthology after seeing yours. But not now! Will be commenting some of my favorites in no particular order since I don't have the time to do all of them like certain people.

Moon:
Interesting take on the moon, usual I feel people talk about the moon in solace but you talk about how other people are also looking at moon. We are under the same sky of course.

Love and Memories:
I feel the irony here too. I've never dated yet despite being a senior in college, yet I write love stuff (looks over at Cecilia and Tomoko's perceived to be dating by everyone) so easily. I could also a view as just wishing love to occur when it hasn't, so you just wrote what it would be like for you.

Mask and Le Masque:
I relate a bit too much to these poems since I put on several masks every day in real life and Discord life. It's weird putting into words and into a poem, but you manage to put that into words really well. Now if only we could pull off these masks.

Ode to Writer's Block:
I think you posted this on Discord one time and god, everyone should know I relate to this poem with my writing streak. Still love the irony here that you are writing to thing that's preventing you from writing and then jokingly asking it to stay longer.

Are Writers Murderers?
Well, I know the pen is mightier than the sword but this takes it a little too far kinda? I guess it kinda comments on how writers are far too willing to kill their characters and how often, hence making them murderers.

Misguidance:
This is probably my favorite of the bunch I've read. I feel like it the same boat, I'm often reaching out to someone but no one gets the message. Well, in my case not a love message but still a message nonetheless. It just feels like when I want to talk to people, no one is there so I fall back into being anti-social and introverted, which hits my heart with this poem.


Alright, that's all I'm going to cover for today. I really enjoyed all the poems I've read Nori and I will come back and read the rest of them some other day. I seriously look forward for the day you upload your stories to the Workshop. I'll see you around on the Discord as usual.