HELP: Outline of a story 10 years in the making... Also, advice?

[HikaRiolu]

I'll cut to the chase: what I have here is an outline of a fanfiction that has been in the works for 10 years. My one and only, "In Search of the Lost Dream".
I have recently decided that I would at least post the outline online, so that is what I'm here to do, in hopes of bringing attention to it and getting some feedback before diving into it again.
I would also like some advice in how to make a certain character more present in the story (my avatar is a hint as to which character it is), since... Well, I'm aware they just kind of drop in there, but I've spent so much time with this thing that I thought maybe an outsider's perspective would help.

Thanks in advance for your time! And now, here it is!

Spoiler: Detailed Introduction

In 2004, teenager me wrote a Pokémon fan fiction named “The Tale in Two”. It was terrible, as most fiction written in one’s teenage years tends to be. 5 years later, however, it would lay the foundation for my biggest fan fiction project to date: a story I named “Serendipity” at the time.
From 2009 to 2013, this story went through many, many changes, usually brought in by mixing some of my favorite elements and loose threads of the anime with things in other parts of the franchise that I liked but weren’t adapted into it. I only started writing in 2012, though, because I was a chronic procrastinator (still kind of am, but I’m better now).

I got to 7-8 chapters as far as actual writing goes, but as the years went by, I started to have less time on my hands to put this fan story to paper. And I realized, that, since it was a fan story, I would never be able to publish it. It would forever be confined to the nether realms of whatever forum I posted it to, but since I wasn’t very well-known, almost nobody would read it.

But, as time went on, as I grew older and learned more about storytelling, what was a simple, shallow excuse for a silly fan story became more complex. …Even after I stopped writing it. I mean, sure, it was still kind of fanfic-y, but I was liking what I had in mind a whole lot, more than I thought I should, actually.

The years passed, but it was always there. Always beckoning me, begging me to finish it in some shape or form that I could at least share with people, so that it wouldn’t just wilt away and die within the confines of my memory… Or hard drive, as it were.

Fast forward to 2019, and Mewtwo Strikes Back EVOLUTION draws closer and closer… Well, it spurred me to go back and do something with the story again.

Yes, some things are going to sound similar to things the franchise has done since I started working on this (again, keep in mind when I started this, Gen V-onwards didn’t exist). Others I added in because I thought they’d make sense, no matter how pandering they seemed. I wanted to craft a story that I had fun with, most of all.

So today, in honor of the release of Mewtwo Strikes Back EVOLUTION, I bring you the outline of “In Search of the Lost Dream”, or at least, the parts I already had set in place. I hope you enjoy it, and… well, depending on the feedback, I might go back and actually write the silly thing in full.

Enjoy!

HikaRiolu/LyralioRC

Spoiler: In Search of the Lost Dream - Outline

Prologue

We would start, as many stories do, with some shady people in an office being all cryptic. The older one sitting on the chair is obviously Giovanni. The other one is a redhaired teen, hint, who’s trying his hardest not to sound nervous, as he relays to old Giogio that he went through the financial records and found out about the funding that went into Mewtwo, first to make it, then to recapture it, and the spike in profits while they were using it. Thing is, there’s nothing on the records stating what Mewtwo is, and Giovanni, of course, doesn’t remember Mewtwo because of his memory wipe at the end of Mewtwo Returns, so he chides the kid for wasting his time and threatens to throw him out if he continues to pry into top secret documents, since he took back him in because he would supposedly be useful, hint hint.

Redhaired teen meets up with two Rocket agents, a serious, early Jessie/James type duo named Carmen and Diego who ask him how’d it go, to which he responds “badly”. He’s determined not to give up on this lead, and asks the agents to get someone named Dr. Gideon to meet him. It’s also at this point that we see that redhaired teen is actually Silver.



Chapter 1

We meet our protagonist, Stacie (JP: Atsuko, after Atsuko Nishida, character designer since Pokémon Red/Green). She’s styled after Leaf/Green/Blue in Fire Red/Leaf Green, only her outfit has seen much better days. Boring? Pandering? Maybe, but hear me out. She’s currently in the area surrounding the Tree of Beginning in Rota (from Movie 08), in the middle of using her Pokémon, specifically a Sneasel, Diglett and Venusaur to set up a trap for an Armaldo and Omastar, which works exactly as expected and she catches them promptly.
She has an excited small talk with the Pokémon that helped her make the catches, one of whom seems less enthusiastic than the others, the Venusaur she calls Milo. She tells him not to worry, she’s certain that that dere Mew is around there somewhere, and that they’ll catch it yet! I mean, those stories she heard in town couldn’t be wrong, right? …But Milo just sighs sadly. She doesn’t seem to notice, though.

Stacie goes to the Pokémon Center in Rota to send Armaldo and Omastar to one of her (many) boxes, when a familiar face spots her, none other than Jeanette Fisher (JP: Kaoruko). Remember her? She’s the kimono-wearing Bellsprout user Ash defeated at the Indigo League in ep. 077 (The Fourth Round Rumble).
Turns out Stacie met Jeanette during their Gym challenge, and the two hit it off pretty well, promising to meet at the League, but Stacie never made it. It’s here we learn that Stacie is originally from Pallet Town. Specifically, she’s one of the two other trainers that started their Pokémon Journey on the same day as Ash and Gary. Y’know, the ones Prof. Oak outright said weren’t very good in ep065 (Showdown at the Po-ké Corral)?
Jeanette tells her she’s given up Pokémon training (much to the disappointment of her fans) to pursue a daring enterprise: Berry-flavored Moomoo Milk. Her goal is to have Crimson City Berry Milk sold at every Pokémon Center and Mart in Kanto and Johto, and then expand to other venues and regions (she’s especially excited about selling to hot springs). …Which is why she’s in Rota to begin with. She’s more than happy living the farmer/entrepreneur life.
She asks her how things have been on Stacie’s end, but doesn’t get a straight answer. All she gets is that Stacie has turned from training to collecting, but there seems to be more to it than that. She puts on the pressure, only for Stacie’s attention to (subtly) shift to a news report about strange happenings in Lavender Town. Stacie resolves immediately to investigate, and starts putting together a plan to trap and capture whatever it is that’s causing the weirdness.

Before each go their separate ways, they exchange contacts, and Jeanette tells Stacie not to be a stranger. She also gives her a few bottles of Berry Milk, and jokingly tells her to spread the word about it.



Chapter 2

Stacie has just finished pinching a few pennies to get some equipment from the Poké Mart, when her stomach starts growling. The truth is, it’s been a while since she last had a decent meal, ever since her Pokémon Trainer license expired (so she can’t get one for free at Pokémon Centers and such). She sees an old man carrying a heavy load of groceries, which he drops by accident, and Stacie sees this as an opportunity to get some free lunch. Well, not before debating with herself if it’s the right thing to do, but it’s hard to argue with an empty stomach, so she goes for it.
The old man and her make some small talk on the way to his house, during which she tells him she used to be a trainer, but now does mostly collecting, specializing in traps, and that she’s interested in legendary or unusual Pokémon most of all (which is true). She also says, after being asked, that her reason for being in Lavender Town is just sightseeing and taking a break and most definitely nothing else (which is not true). The old man, meanwhile, responds by being nice and affable but mysterious and speaking with a strange accent. He also introduces himself as Mr. Fuji, so that explains a few things.

They arrive at the Pokémon Volunteer House, and, after Stacie’s stomach gives her away, Fuji invites her for lunch (she’s also tackled by half-a-dozen orphan Pokémon before she can even set foot inside). There, she meets some of Fuji’s most regular collaborators, Nelia, Tristan and Lou.
Nelia is based on the girl who says she’s seen Cubone’s mother die (JP: Nana), and she’s pretty much livid at Fuji for trying to carry way more stuff than he’s capable. As for Tristan (JP: Tatsuji)… Well, so far all we can tell is that he’s kind of quiet and aloof and has an icy glare. He leaves soon after, saying he has things to attend to today. Lou, who arrives during lunch, is a feisty Riolu who’s obsessed with martial arts serials. He’s kind of the mascot of the place, a sort of therapist for the orphans due to his ability to sense emotions, and helps them feel protected.
Fuji tells Stacie about the PVH and what they do over lunch, leaving her feeling like a heel for taking advantage of them. He also tells her Lou came to the House as an Egg, given to him by a friend. When it’s time for dessert, Nelia realizes they don’t have enough for all of them (she forgot to put it on the shopping list), and goes out to buy some in a hurry. While they wait, Stacie meets the famous orphaned Cubone, who is especially clingy towards Fuji and Lou, the latter of which he sees as his big brother, and learns his story.

They realize it’s been too long since Nelia left, and the phone rings. The caller addresses Mr. Fuji as “Dr.” Fuji, and tells him to go to the Pokémon Tower alone, or it’s curtains for the girl. Fuji is mortified, but, despite Stacie and Lou’s protests, does as told and leaves, asking Stacie to look after the place while he’s gone.
A couple of hours pass, Lou’s patience grows thin, and, seeing Cubone’s distress, sets off on his own. Stacie manages to catch up to him, convinces him that he has no idea what he’s up against, and that he might be putting Mr. Fuji in danger. She quickly realizes that Lou has been on to her (at least he knew she was not being entirely honest), so she suggests going together to the Tower, so that she can both help Mr. Fuji and catch the ghost, and then she’ll be out of their hair forever. Lou agrees.



Chapter 3

(Now may be a good time to say that originally, I was taking the liberty of having Lavender Town have two towers instead of just the one in ep023, one on each end of town. A way to make it more compatible with the anime would be to bring in the Soul House/House of Memories from Gen II/IV and have that take the place of the Pokémon Tower instead, but by the time I had that idea I wasn’t planning on writing anymore, so for this outline I stayed with the “there is another” thing. I might change it when I actually write it.)

Lou and Stacie make their way through the Tower, the latter second-guessing herself as to whether this was a good idea (because graveyards happen to be creepy places with dead things in them, you see). They have no real trouble with the ghosts due to Lou’s Foresight doing the Silph Scope’s job, however when they get to the 6th floor, Lou freezes completely due to the ghost of you-know-who. Stacie tries to fight it using a Gengar, while protecting Lou, but is distracted by a flashback of two chilling, glowing blue eyes and, in her stupor, ends up getting possessed. She’s about to attack Lou when a Channeler wards her off, and Lou passes out from exhaustion. Yeah, remember how Riolus sense emotions in ripples? Well Lou has just been hit by a freaking tsunami of rage.



Chapter 4

Lou comes to, and is greeted by a lovely scene of an exorcism being performed on a very angry, still-possessed Stacie by a Channeler. Unfortunately, she’s getting nowhere fast.
Lou takes a moment to meditate on his situation, and to feel bad about having the one thing that lets him be really good at his job, understand and connect with other Pokémon (and people), turn against him to the point of leaving him unable to act. While he’s at this, he hears the angry spirit rambling through Stacie, demanding to know where her son is… And he thinks the exact same thing you’re thinking.
With the help of the Channeler, who, now that he thinks about it, is very familiar to him, he leaves the Tower and comes back with a very confused Cubone in tow. The Marowak ghost recognizes her son, and after a tearful reunion hug, thanks Lou for taking such good care of him and moves on to the afterlife, releasing Stacie.
Stacie is left bewildered at what just happened to her (among other things, she’s crying and has no idea why), but is filled in by the Channeler. At Stacie’s request, she also tells her that the Marowak ghost had started suddenly wreaking havoc for a week or so, and then appoints herself to purify her. According to her, she could have residual ghost “energy”, which would make it easier for her to get possessed again (additional possible side effects include nausea, vertigo, and itchiness).



Chapter 5

Alone with Lou and the Channeler performing the purification rite, Stacie makes her impatience known. Sure, she didn’t catch the ghost as she wanted to, but most importantly, Mr. Fuji and Nelia were somewhere in there with someone dangerous, probably with their lives on the line. Hearing this, the Channeler reluctantly offers to help, and using Lou, she’s able to track his owner (much like Morty does in Pokémon Special/Adventures). He’s on the forbidden upper-most floor of the Tower, which she finds strange, since neither she nor any of the other Channelers took notice of anyone entering that floor.

They sneak into the stairs, but before they can devise a plan, as the Channeler suggests, Stacie barges into the room, walking right into what seems to be a torture scene. Fuji and Nelia are there, one tied to a chair and the other asleep on the floor, as well as Silver, Carmen and Diego. The latter two start to raise a stink over Mr. Fuji not heeding their “advice”, but Silver stops them, introducing himself as Agent Silver. Looking at Mr. Fuji’s backup (i.e.: A shabby-looking girl, a blue puppy, and a scraggly Channeler), he decides that at least he can get some entertainment out of them and, because this is Pokémon, challenges them to a battle, winner leaves the Tower immediately and never returns. Lou assures them he can fight by himself, so they decide on a three-on-three, with just one Pokémon. First team to win twice is the victor.

First up is Lou vs. Diego. Diego uses Tauros, and Lou wins by a landslide with moves he learned from his shows.

Second is the Channeler vs. Carmen. Channeler uses Drowzee, Carmen uses Hypno. Carmen wins easily due to Channeler’s lack of experience.

Third is Stacie vs. Silver. Stacie uses Gengar, Silver uses Weavile. They’re evenly matched, until the tide turns in Silver’s favor, but just as he thinks he’s won, Stacie hits Weavile with a sneak attack by having Gengar play dead (no pun intended).

Silver doesn’t take this well, by which I mean he goes berserk and starts beating Fuji himself, screaming that he still hadn’t given him the info he wants. Carmen has her Hypno subdue him by way of hypnosis, after which he upholds his end of the bargain, but not without swearing revenge on Stacie for humiliating him.

After the Rockets are gone, Stacie unties Fuji, who besides being a little beat up, is okay. He tells them that apparently, they’d been planning to get him for at least a week (which explains why Marowak started her hissy fit. She no like Team Rocket going around on her turf… Plus realizing her son wasn’t with her probably didn’t help). Meanwhile, the Channeler wakes Nelia up, who immediately recognizes her as Tristan (in LGPE, this character’s name is Vlad. I took the liberty of changing it because I didn’t really feel like thinking of vampires whenever I read his name). There’s a lot to discuss, so they head back to the PVH.



Chapter 6

By now it’s obvious Mr. Fuji is actually Dr. Fuji from the first movie. Unlike anyone who’s watched it, though, Stacie doesn’t know he’s not supposed to have survived Mewtwo’s blowing up the lab, so all he says on that particular matter is that he was incredibly lucky. We’ll get back to that in a bit.
More importantly, he tells Stacie and Tristan about his involvement in Mewtwo’s creation, which is the reason Silver kidnapped him. Turns out they’re after ol’ Mewster, and they thought he might know something of his whereabouts, which, of course, he doesn’t. He goes on to say that if Team Rocket gets his hands on Mewtwo (again), it could spell disaster for everyone else. They could even take over the world! (of course.) And because of that, he has a request. He gets a Master Ball from a drawer, and asks Stacie, since she’s the only capable trainer who knows of this, to capture Mewtwo and keep him safe from Team Rocket. (Yeah, I know, major Deus Ex Machina here, but hey, he did have one in the manga adaptation of the movie, so… Why not?)

Stacie is already a bit weary at his description of Mewtwo because it rings some unpleasant bells, but can’t find it in her to say no to Fuji’s face, knowing what’s at stake. Still, she has no idea where he is, how to find him or even what he looks like. Tristan (with an expression of barely concealed anger, might I add) says if Mewtwo had any possessions or anything that he was in close contact with for an extended time, he should be able to track him like he did Fuji in the Tower, which settles the discussion there and then. They’ll leave the next morning, and in the meantime, Fuji will compile the most info he can remember from Mewtwo’s creation, in hopes that it will help Stacie somehow.

Stacie tucks in for the night, confiding in Milo and Gengar that she’s scared, but doesn’t really have a choice.
Meanwhile, before Tristan leaves for his house, Fuji asks if, by any chance, he knew someone named Carly (JP: Tomiko), something he’d been meaning to do for a while. He says she was part of his team of scientists in New Island, was from Lavender Town, and that he kind of reminds him of her. Gravely, Tristan replies that he doesn’t need to answer his question, because he already knows. Mr. Fuji is a little concerned over this.



Chapter 7

Fuji remembers how he survived Mewtwo’s rampage. He didn’t die in the explosion itself, but was fatally injured and unable to move, and would indeed have died if the person who saved him, a tall, blonde young woman dressed in black, hadn’t gotten there in time. If by that description you thought of Cynthia, you are correct. She was studying the ruins on the Sevii Islands (specifically, Ruin Valley and the Tanoby Ruins) when she saw the smoke and went to investigate (she got there after Giovanni left).
A while after Fuji was released from the hospital, she visited him in Lavender and gave him an Egg to raise. He refused at first, since the last time he had raised a child, it didn’t end well. However, she insisted, saying that it would do both of them good, and that it would help him heal. As you can imagine, this is the Egg Lou hatched from.

With Fuji’s journal in hand, Stacie and Tristan prepare to leave. But, seeing Lou’s expression, Fuji tells him to go with them and see the world, entrusting his Pokéball to Tristan. Lou is ecstatic, and joins them right after saying a tearful goodbye to all his little brothers and sisters, especially Cubone, Nelia, and, of course, Mr. Fuji himself.



Chapter 8

The group’s first stop is New Island. Since the island is a desolate rock, there are no ferries, so they Fly there on two of Stacie’s Pokémon, a Fearow and a Noctowl.
When they arrive, Tristan immediately sets out to try and find anything that can give him a lead, like glass shards from Mewtwo’s tube or something. Stacie lets him do his thing (it’s an amazing ability, but kind of freaks her out, to be honest) while she reads Mr. Fuji’s journal, out loud, so Lou can hear. Most of it is genetics and biology lingo she can’t understand (Lou even dozes off), but eventually she learns about Fuji’s daughter Amber, her clones, and her and Mewtwo’s brief telepathic connection, as Fuji included it as extra info. He also describes Mewtwo as “extremely unpredictable” and advises to “approach with utmost caution”, which sends a shiver down Stacie’s spine.
After a few painful flashes, Tristan finds Mewtwo, says he’s not too far, flying North, and mentions a lighthouse, which Stacie deduces is the one north of Cerulean City. (Lucky he was in Kanto, huh?) Tristan takes the glass shard that gave him the lead, and they fly themselves to Cerulean on the double.

Stacie’s gears have been turning since she finished Mr. Fuji’s notes, and as soon as they make it to Cerulean, she already has a plan devised and brings Tristan into it as extra room for Pokémon to set the trap with. It’s during this time that Tristan and Lou notice some of Stacie’s Pokémon seem to be particularly attached to her, in a heartfelt, but melancholic sort of way. She leads them into the forest northwest of Cerulean, where she knows there’s a cave (she’s been there a couple of times before), and sets up the trap, the main components of which are Diglett’s Arena Trap and Milo’s Sleep Powder. She also sends her Sneasel as both a sentinel and bait, with a tracker wired into Stacie’s Pokégear, and gives everyone Chesto Berries to eat just before the trap is activated. All they can do now is wait.
Stacie and Tristan’s relationship, so far, has been one of distance. Stacie isn’t good with prolonged social interactions, and Tristan’s mind is most definitely not “here” most of the time, but each side is slowly coming to respect the other for their abilities. Specifically, at this point, to cut the tension a bit, Tristan asks Stacie how did a trainer with such know-how end up like her, resorting to trickery for free lunches. Stacie tells him simply that her circumstances took a turn for the worst. Tristan is not satisfied with the answer, but Sneasel sets off the tracker. Mewtwo’s here. It’s go time.



Chapter 9

Mewtwo is reminiscing about his life and looking at the scenery, when Sneasel sneaks up on him and dares him to follow. Intrigued, Mewtwo does so, cautiously, until he reaches the cave.

(This is as far as I got with actual writing. From here on, things might gradually get more improvised since I wasn’t done with setting them down.)

The trap is activated, and, despite expectations, things seem to be progressing smoothly (Mewtwo is just wondering where this is going). However, Stacie… Freezes. She’s unable to throw the ball. She’s getting flashback upon flashback of those blue glowing eyes peering at her through a cold armored helmet. Tristan yells at her to throw the stupid ball, but to no avail. Mewtwo is done with this and leaves.

Tristan asks Stacie what gives, and Stacie reveals she’s faced Mewtwo once already, and had, among other things, one of her first Pokémon, a Clefable, taken away because of him (in the radio drama, Giovanni would beat trainers at his Gym and then take the Pokémon just used against him). She was hoping it wasn’t the same Pokémon, but it was, and she’s still in shock. Tristan scolds her some more, to which Stacie snaps and asks what his deal is.
Tristan says his older sister Carly was a member of Dr. Fuji’s team, and was killed by Mewtwo when he blew up the lab. To make matters worse, it was ever official: he only learned of her death because his mediumistic powers allowed it. To most of the world, it was like she never even existed. He finally got confirmation through their talk with Fuji, and at New Island (remember the painful flashes?). He wanted some sort of reparation, at least know why he did it (Tristan, darling, it doesn’t work that way, but for the purposes of this story I’ll allow it).
Stacie, still not thinking straight, yells at Tristan that she doesn’t even know if Clefable is still alive, while Tristan at least knows for sure his sister’s not coming back. OUCH.
Stacie immediately regrets saying that, but it’s too late. Tristan gets up and just leaves her behind. After calling her Pokémon back, including a very sad looking Milo, she notices Lou is missing. Since she didn’t see him leave with Tristan, she gets worried and leaves the cave to look for him.



Chapter 10

Turns out Lou followed Mewtwo, who after a while stops and asks why he’s following him. Lou says he noticed something about him, a lot of strong, overflowing and overlapping emotions, and yet he seems so calm and in control, and asks him why and how that is (yes, Lou is kind of blunt). Mewtwo can’t quite answer.
Their conversation is cut short by the downdraft of a Team Rocket helicopter, with Silver and his underlings aboard (they found Mewtwo by hooking up Silver’s Alakazam to a psychic radar and went after the strongest signature they could find. Or something like that). Silver activates a modified version of the radio signal generator used at the Lake of Rage, which acts as an emotion bomb, amplifying any emotions the receiver is feeling to an unbearable degree. It works like a charm on Mewtwo, who screams as a raw, searing emotion long forgotten rushes to the surface… And, by proxy, Lou too, because, you know, empath and all.
Stacie arrives just in time to witness this, grabs Lou and prepares to flee the scene… But she catches a glimpse of Mewtwo, in what can only be described as excruciating pain, and sees the Rockets getting ready to capture him. She debates with her terrified self for a few seconds, but gets the Master Ball out of her bag and throws it. Silver and the Rockets can only stand there in anger and confusion as their target disappears before them, but Silver briefly notices a familiar face in the distance, and tells the agents to scatter and look for her. As soon as the Ball returns to her hand (think the Dark Balls in Movie 04), Stacie sprints off with Lou in her arms (remember his Pokéball is with Tristan), running as fast and far as she can before calling Fearow and flying off.



Chapter 11

Stacie turns to Jeanette at her mansion in the outskirts of Crimson City, who, thankfully, doesn’t ask too many questions for the time being (like, “why didn’t you go to a Pokémon Center”, for one). For now, the main concern is Lou, who remains unconscious, so Jeanette gets to tending to him right away, with the help of some of her attendants. She directs Stacie to a guest room she can stay in while she’s there.

At said room, Stacie attempts to settle down and let everything that happened sink in, but is interrupted by Mewtwo asking who she is telepathically and freaks out. They have an awkward conversation, with Mewtwo not in the best shape and mystified as to his current predicament and Stacie too scared and flustered to speak coherently. Stacie ends the conversation saying she’s going to sleep.

The next day, Lou is doing better, but is still weak. Seeing his state, Stacie leaves for a secluded part of mansion’s massive garden.
With a deep breath, she calls Mewtwo out of the Ball, and offers him one of the Berry Milks Jeanette gave her back in Rota. He takes a Chesto Berry flavored one and asks about Lou, which surprises her. He also says he’s not going to harm her, so she doesn’t have to be afraid. She asks if it’s because she caught him, and he answers no, he wouldn’t even if that wasn’t the case, though normally he prefers to steer clear of humans. He does ask if he frightens her so much, why did she catch him, since Trainers, the good ones at least, usually catch Pokémon that they want as partners.
She explains the situation with Team Rocket to him briefly, but stops herself short of going into detail about anything else, afraid of his reaction. Mewtwo ponders how Team Rocket is still after him after he erased every member’s memory of him (well, every member who was involved in the expedition to Mt. Quena minus Jessie, James and Meowth), and why they don’t just leave him in peace.
Mewtwo then asks who exactly sent her, and Stacie flinches, but answers “someone who hasn’t forgotten you”.
They talk about other things, such as what was happening to Mewtwo when she caught him, and by the end, Stacie finds herself wondering if this really is the same cold-hearted beast that took away one of her partners and cost her her final badge.



Chapter 12

Lou is finally well enough to get up, much to Stacie’s relief. She decides that it’s best for everyone if she leaves, lest Jeanette, her mansion, and everyone in it become a target, but Jeanette convinces her to stay one more day to fully recover.

Lou joins Stacie at her room, and has her call Mewtwo, which she still does a bit unenthusiastically. He has two major things in mind: one, he wants Mewtwo to help him train how to remain calm in the face of tough emotions. Two, he wants to know why is it that he feels those emotions in the first place because he’s curious. Mewtwo is somewhat startled at his boldness (so is Stacie), but says he doesn’t know of how much help he can be, since he succumbed to Team Rocket’s machine easily (yeah, that still stings). After Lou states he doesn’t care, since he was fine before Team Rocket showed up, Mewtwo agrees.

The lesson starts, consisting of a kind of mindful meditation session in the garden in which Mewtwo lets himself feel his emotions while Lou attempts to read them in depth and simultaneously remain unaffected. There are two main things that happen during it.
The first is that, due to his time taking care of orphans and abandoned Pokémon, Lou easily identifies Mewtwo’s strongest underlying emotion as “loss” (which was also the emotion most amplified by the machine). Mewtwo finds this strange, as he doesn’t remember losing anything that would have such a lingering impact on him, and wonders how that’s possible. Hearing this, while the lesson goes on, Stacie takes out Mr. Fuji’s notes, and rereads the part he included on Amber. She quickly figures out that it most likely has something to do with this, but, again, remembering the parts about Mewtwo being “unpredictable” and her own experience, she decides to keep her mouth shut.
The second thing that happens is that Lou picks up on Stacie’s feelings of fear/anxiety, and, as translated by Mewtwo, tells her to just let it all out once and for all, if nothing else, to stop throwing him off.
Around this moment, Jeanette shows up to check on Stacie and Lou, but, seeing the scene, and, most importantly, that bizarre, scary-looking Pokémon, hides behind a tree.
Stacie hesitates, because of how much it hurts, and, again, Mewtwo’s presence, but taking Lou’s ease around him as a good sign, relents.

She tells them about how she had faced Mewtwo under Giovanni’s employ, and how the latter took Clefable away from her after pretty much destroying her, but her story doesn’t end there. She resolved to become stronger, and spent a long time training and honing her skills, to challenge Giovanni for a rematch and try and get back her Clefable and the final badge for the League. By the time she felt ready and returned to Viridian Gym, however, she found it closed. All of her effort was for naught. She gave up on any aspirations of ever entering the League, and started collecting Pokémon instead, vowing to never let one be taken away from her again (I should mention that, like Ash, Stacie makes copious use of her hat to disguise her expressions. Oh, and as a side note, her outfit in the flashbacks is based on Leaf’s prototype design, the same used for Blue/Green in the Adventures manga).

Mewtwo tells her that perhaps they have more in common than it seems, since both of them feel regret over that time of their lives. He apologizes, as he’s not proud of who he was or what he did back then. Though he adds that, even if it affected her badly, it was extremely short-sighted of her to simply give up after that one setback. Stacie is unsure of how to react to this, and retreats to her room to leave Mewtwo and Lou alone. Before they get back to training, Lou feels kind of bad for this outcome (even if he kind of expected it), but is assured by Mewtwo that it’s not his fault, and that we all have to come to terms with our past, in order to live a life worth living. Life itself is a wonderful thing, after all.

Having overheard the whole thing like someone glued to a TV soap, Jeanette returns to the mansion. Meanwhile, Stacie falls asleep while mulling over Mewtwo’s words.



Chapter 13

Time for us to check on what Tristan’s been doing.

He’s gone back to New Island, to rewatch Carly’s final moments a few more times because... Well, because that’s what depressed people with medium powers in anime do, I guess. During this time, however, he starts hearing a little girl’s laughter. She recognizes it as the work of a ghost, though the life force is too weak for him to be able to actually contact it. Still, he can see her briefly, and it seems like she’s beckoning him. Tristan follows her to a small round crystal hidden amongst the grass, after which she disappears completely with a giggle. Wondering what that was all about, he keeps the crystal nonetheless.

He then returns to Lavender Town, and, of course, Fuji and Nelia ask him how things went as soon as they see him. Tristan’s answer leaves them less than thrilled, with Nelia outright scolding him for leaving Stacie and Lou. Mr. Fuji is more lenient. He guessed something like this might happen (just not the part where Stacie had been traumatized by Mewtwo, I mean, what are the odds), and wishes he’d talked to him about Carly earlier. He then tells Tristan he went through a similar experience when he lost his daughter, so he knows how he feels, in fact, it’s the whole reason why Mewtwo even exists in the first place, as he was made in hopes that Fuji could bring her back to life. Tristan berates him briefly for even attempting to do such a thing (well, being a medium and all, he kind of knows what he’s talking about), only to shut himself up once she realizes how easy it would’ve been for her to do the same for Carly if given the chance. He then tells Fuji of the little girl she saw, and shows him the crystal. He easily identifies her as Amber, or one of her clones. As for the crystal, he’s not entirely sure of what it is, though he has a hunch, and tells him to keep it.

A couple of days pass, and while Tristan wants to get back to his life as if nothing happened, he can’t. After a news report of yet another Team Rocket operation being dismantled (I like to think one of Butch and Cassidy’s schemes), he remembers the main objective of the mission, and decides to go meet Stacie (as upset with her as he still is), and go on with the Mewtwo capture plan. Before he does, he goes to the PVH to announce this to Fuji and Nelia, who are elated. Nelia gives him a package, telling her to give it to Stacie as thanks for saving them in the Tower. Using Stacie’s Noctowl, he gets a read on her location, and sets off.



Chapter 14

Stacie flashes back through her Pokémon journey, from the morning she got Milo, to the promises she made to other budding trainers of meeting them in the League, until the fateful battle against Giovanni with Clefable at her side. Giovanni sics Mewtwo on them, who proceeds to attack not only Clefable, who disappears from sight, but Lou, who’s there for some reason, and Stacie herself. She finds herself caught in the blue glow of Mewtwo’s powers, and his voice echoes in her mind, saying “This is all your own fault” before she plunges into the abyss.

Stacie wakes up from the nightmare with a start. She is somewhat relieved, but it’s short lived. There’s the sound of a helicopter outside.

Lou and Mewtwo are outside, and see the helicopter approaching. Soon Jeanette joins them, and yells at it to leave the property, unaware that it’s Team Rocket. Silver immediately looks around for Stacie, and, figuring she’s inside the mansion, orders Alakazam to lock the doors (he does so just as she was about to get out) and to incapacitate Jeanette, Bellsprout and Lou before they cause any trouble. After locking eyes with Mewtwo for a second, during which the latter asks him why he’s doing this, Silver orders the radio generator turned on. Mewtwo is brought down immediately (Lou is also affected, of course), and captured promptly. Their mission complete, Silver orders them to leave, which they do just as Stacie breaks down the door. She tries to call back Mewtwo inside the Master Ball, but he’s out of reach of the beam by now. She gets a flash of Clefable in her mind before she registers what just happened, and breaks down crying.



Chapter 15

Jeanette comes to, and runs up to Stacie, asking what just happened and if she’s okay. Stacie laments that what Mewtwo said was true, that everything that happened to her was her own fault. She failed at everything she ever tried because she was either weak, careless or cowardly. And because of her shortcomings, now Team Rocket had Mewtwo and there was no telling what would happen. Jeanette reminds her she was the one who suggested they stayed longer, but Stacie rebuffs, saying that regardless, she shouldn’t have let Mewtwo out of the Ball for so long. It was clear TR had a way of tracking him since they’d already found him once, but before now she hadn’t even thought about it, and feels utterly stupid because of it.

Lou, meanwhile, thanks to Mewtwo’s training, has managed to remain conscious (albeit a bit shaken, still) and shake off some of the bad feelings he got hit with. He tries to comfort Stacie, and convince her to go after Mewtwo. She, of course, rejects the idea, saying that since she’ll fail anyway, it’s not worth even attempting, which angers Lou… And Tristan, who has just arrived.

Tristan marches up to Stacie and grabs her by the arm, telling her that she’s just as spineless as he thought she was, and that if she won’t finish what she started, then he will, and demands the Master Ball. After some pondering, Stacie hands him the Ball, and Tristan turns to leave, stopping himself at the last moment to give Nelia’s package to Stacie. Stacie finds it weird; Tristan says it’s to thank her for the Tower rescue and goes on his way, much to Lou’s dismay.

Stacie opens the package: inside are some new clothes and shoes (clearly Nelia had something to say about her current outfit). That’s right, she did save Nelia and Mr. Fuji… Not Clefable, though. …Wait, what was it that she promised when she started collecting? That she wouldn’t let any of her Pokémon be taken away from her… Well, since she caught Mewtwo, he counted as one of her Pokémon, didn’t he? So, she had to get him back. She needed to at least tell him he was completely right about her. But also, that he didn’t have to be.

She calls for Tristan, asking for her Ball back, and adds that if he doesn’t return it, she’ll have to take it. Lou can tell she means it, but there’s no reaction from Tristan. Also, she says, she’s sorry for what she said about Tristan’s sister. Tristan finally turns and approaches her, and, sensing she’s being sincere, thanks her and gives her the Ball.

Stacie changes clothes quickly (not bothering to get her hat back, so now everyone can see her emotions in full view), leaving her looking like Leaf/Blue/Green in Pokémon Let’s Go Pikachu/Eevee. After she says she still has to make a trip to the Pokémon Center, Jeanette offers the use of a PC they have on site. She gets back her original party from when she was challenging the Indigo League: Milo, Gengar, Ninetales, Vaporeon, and Dragonite, who has never seen battle in her current evolutionary stage, as she evolved during Stacie’s training to rematch the Viridian Gym and was never used again. All of them are overjoyed to see her with such determination again, especially Milo and Dragonite.

After she mounts Melina, Lou joins her immediately, Tristan lets out Noctowl, and, to everyone’s surprise, Jeanette calls back Bellsprout and lets out a Pidgeot, announcing she’s coming with. No one has a problem with this (except her attendants, but she doesn’t really care), and as soon as Tristan gets a reading on Mewtwo’s location, they lift off.



Chapter 16

Initially, I had a brief chapter in between Stacie’s story detailing some of the goings on with Silver. It was really short, though, which made me wonder if I should even keep it in. The gist of it is that he’s asked a low-rank Rocket Scientist, Gideon (JP: Sumio, the guy in FR/LG who says Giovanni’s kid has red hair), to modify the Lake of Rage radio signal generator, and that he’s doing all of this behind Giovanni’s back, always accompanied his underlings.

Speaking of which, they’re currently in a small, remote base in the area surrounding Tohjo Falls, watching Silver as he goes to meet Mewtwo, safely secured in a chamber designed to no-sell Psychic abilities as well as provide him with a never-ending supply of emotion-amplifying radio waves. Just enough to keep him incapacitated… For now.
As soon as their eyes meet, Mewtwo asks again why he’s doing this… And remarks that there’s something familiar about Silver. Silver says, since Mewtwo can talk, he can answer a few of his own questions, such as whether he had ever encountered Team Rocket before. Mewtwo replies a simple “yes”, and Silver chuckles at the confirmation of his theories. Intrigued, Mewtwo asks Silver yet again: why is he doing this? Silver retorts that it’s none of his business, and to that, Mewtwo rephrases his question: who is he doing this for? Which catches Silver off-guard. By the end of the conversation, Mewtwo has left Silver thinking about who he’s really trying to impress, himself or whoever it is that he refuses to talk about, and in the latter case, if it’s really worth it to pursue said person’s admiration. From what Silver is letting on, it doesn’t seem like that person deserves it.

Silver angrily leaves Mewtwo, and increases the radio wave output. It won’t be long now until Mewtwo’s emotions cause him so much pain that his psyche shuts down, leaving him vulnerable to the mind control serum they have on hand, also courtesy of Gideon. After that, all that’s left is to present him to Giovanni, ready to answer his every command. Then maybe, Silver thinks, he can prove to everyone he’s not a failure.

Silver’s thoughts are interrupted by alarms going off in the entire base. Someone just blew the gates wide open! Rushing to a security room, all he can see before the cameras die is Stacie’s smirk.



Chapter 17

Stacie, Lou, Tristan and Jeanette have broken into the Rocket base, and agree to split up. Stacie and Lou make a mad dash towards the center of the base where Mewtwo is being held, while Stacie’s Pokémon provide cover fire, and Tristan and Jeanette try to cause as much havoc and confusion as possible.

Silver makes it back to Carmen and Diego, who try to tell him that they have to crank the machine up to max and break Mewtwo’s psyche NOW, so they can administer the serum immediately and escape. Silver, however, is not sure they should do it, as, among other things going on in his mind, that could have serious consequences for Mewtwo – even leave him effectively braindead, which would render the serum useless anyway. His hesitation makes Diego man the generator himself. When Silver tries to stop him, Carmen pulls out Hypno and puts him to sleep. As it turns out, the whole reason they were accompanying him was so that they could keep him in line, as Giovanni didn’t really trust him.
Unfortunately for them, Tristan and Jeanette arrive on the scene, forcing them to flee before they can put the serum to use.

Stacie and Lou make it to Mewtwo’s chamber, however no sooner have they gotten in than the roof starts collapsing: apparently some of her Pokémon destroyed a few of the support beams during the break-in. Oops. Stacie and Lou are effectively trapped.
Stacie tells her Pokémon to get out before the entire base caves in, which, they, of course, are reluctant to do, and instead try to dig her out, but that makes even more rubble fall, and she pleads with them to go somewhere where they’ll be safe, to find Tristan and Jeanette, and promises that she’ll join them as soon as she can.

Lou breaks the glass case Mewtwo is in, and… He’s unresponsive. Completely silent. Seeing that he’s still breathing, Lou tries to detect any mental activity, and he gets… Nothing. Zero. Stacie is heartbroken. She’s too late. Again.
She and Lou try everything they can think of, offering some Chesto milk, shaking and begging repeatedly for Mewtwo to wake up, but to no avail.
Desperate, Stacie recalls Fuji’s journal, and, bringing herself to hold one of Mewtwo’s limp hands, spills everything she knows about Amber and Mewtwo, imploring him to remember: how they were friends in the cloning lab, how distraught he was when she faded away, to the point where the scientists had to make him forget, otherwise he probably wouldn’t have survived. She also wishes she’d told him all of that sooner, since he had a right to know, and now… He can’t. Seeing no change, Stacie breaks down, hopeless.

Lou, besides already being sad at seeing both his friends in these states, is startled at this information, as he didn’t know any of it… However, in retrospect, it does make Mewtwo’s feeling of “loss” make perfect sense. Speaking of which… He has an idea. It’s a long shot, but they have nothing to lose. He asks for Stacie’s hand, and holds Mewtwo’s other hand, forming a circle. Before Stacie can ask what he’s doing, he motions for her to close her eyes, which she does, a bit disconcertedly.

Lou, remembering what he learned from Mewtwo, then taps into his innate ability of sensing and emanating emotions in ripples, using his and Stacie’s emotions to try and awaken Mewtwo’s mind. Sort of providing a beacon, so that any tiny speck of feeling in him, if he has any left, can follow to the surface.

Meanwhile, Tristan is hauling Silver’s unconscious body to the outside, while Jeanette has given chase to Carmen and Diego. Suddenly, much to his confusion, the small crystal he’d picked up on New Island flies away from his pocket into the collapsed base.

The crystal makes it to Stacie and Lou, interrupting them and falling in the former’s surprised hands. It then starts to glow blue, which Stacie’s eyes mirror before she collapses. Lou calls out to her, startled, but he can sense something is happening. Something he’s seen happen to Stacie before, only this time it’s slightly different.



Chapter 18

It’s dark, very dark. And inside that darkness, is Mewtwo, perfectly still. The last time we saw him like this, he was asking some very familiar questions, but now, he’s just… Quiet. In fact, everything is dead quiet. That is, until a figure appears in a flash of light. It looks like Stacie, but… Something’s off. She floats towards Mewtwo, and gently asks him to wake up. He slowly opens his blank eyes.

“…Who… are… you…?” He asks, weakly.

“You’ve gotten so big, Mewtwo. I’m really happy.”

Mewtwo doesn’t recognize her, but the girl is unfazed: it has been a long time since they last saw each other, and she didn’t look like this. She asks what Mewtwo is doing here all alone. He replies that he doesn’t know. He doesn’t feel anything, and when he does, it hurts. She asks him why it hurts, and he answers because he doesn’t know what he’s lost. “Hmm, what a problem…” She says. If he doesn’t know what he’s lost, how is he going to find it? …Although, if he did know what he lost… Would it change anything? Wouldn’t it still hurt? Mewtwo says he doesn’t know. She then asks, with a giggle, does it even matter? For a Pokémon, he’s being awfully complicated… Just like when he was small. So, besides his size, nothing’s really changed, she jokes.
The girl’s laughter brings a tiny spark to Mewtwo’s eyes. He asks again who she is.

She giggles once more. “Amber.”

Amber… He notices a stream of water has started falling from his still-dull eyes. How can this be… Why is this name affecting him so much? This has never happened before…

Amber notes that he’s crying again. Nothing really has changed, has it? She’s even going to have to say goodbye again soon… She can only borrow this form for a short while. Hearing this, Mewtwo begs her not to leave. He’s not sure what she’s been talking about, but he doesn’t want her to go, not again. Amber says they were very lucky to have been able to meet once more. And that she’s happy he’s living such an amazing life, meeting so many people and Pokémon. He’s grown so much, and now it’s time for him to help others do the same.

“So, Mewtwo… Don’t cry. Because… You’ll never be alone. There are people out there who need you. Wake up, and keep going. You’re doing great!”

Despite Mewtwo’s cries, Amber fades into a small crystal, and hovers into his hands. He clutches it, closing his eyes.

“…Amber…”



Chapter 19

Lou is shocked at seeing both Stacie and Mewtwo’s closed eyes tearing up, and watches, confused, as the small crystal floats up to Mewtwo, engulfing him in a bright light. Stacie slowly comes to, and is immediately blinded by the spectacle, which is followed by a blast of psychic energy, revealing Mewtwo, hovering above the floor, but looking rather different. Smaller and leaner, but with a no less commanding presence. Stacie and Lou stare in awe as his now red eyes open, glowing blue with power.

“…Amber… I am… awakened.”

Before Stacie and Lou can celebrate, the roof collapses completely due to the psychic blast, and they brace themselves… Mewtwo holds them telekinetically and swiftly takes them outside, where the three see the destruction from high up above. But who has time for that? Stacie and Lou are overjoyed at seeing Mewtwo up and kicking (even if he’s looking kind of different), and let him know right away. Mewtwo smiles ever so slightly, and says someone else is glad too. Stacie looks down, and sighs of relief upon seeing her Pokémon cheering, safe and sound. Mewtwo takes Stacie and Lou down to Stacie’s Pokémon, who all smother her with affection.

Soon, though, they hear Tristan calling out to them, and he arrives with Silver in tow. Stacie flinches, asking if he isn’t dangerous… To which Mewtwo replies no, just lost. Tristan, meanwhile, just stares at Mewtwo, and, as translated by the latter, Lou notes his feelings are going kind of crazy. Reading the room, he shakes his head and says it’s nothing.

More importantly, they need to tend to Silver, who was already unconscious by the time he and Jeanette got to him. As soon as he wakes up, though, he backs away from them, stopping himself momentarily when he sees Mewtwo’s new form. Mewtwo tells him his theory is apparently confirmed, and reverts back to normal. Silver scoffs, utterly embarrassed, and walks away and out of sight, but not before glancing at Stacie in a strange mix of defeat and pensiveness.

Jeanette gets back, dragging Carmen and Diego along enveloped in her Bellsprout’s Vine Whip. Furious, Carmen boasts that as long as they have the serum, they can try and try again, to which Mewtwo responds by crushing the vial. Diego says that that changes nothing, as they can just come back after him once more. Jeanette remarks that’ll be hard to do in jail, to which they reply Silver might try it again, since he’s a stubborn son of a gun. Mewtwo states that somehow, he finds that hard to believe, for various reasons. One is that they won’t remember enough to come after him again. Another is that he’s certain Silver is a better person than they think he is. He then wipes their memories.



Chapter 20

The group goes their separate ways, starting with Jeanette. She’s going to Viridian City to hand Carmen and Diego over to the police, after which she plans to return to Crimson City. It’s been good to stretch her adventuring muscle, but he can’t wait to get back to her Berry trees. She says her goodbyes to everyone and heads off, saying she’s glad she was able to help.

Tristan wants to return to Lavender, and asks Lou if he wants to come with him. Lou ponders for a bit, but shakes his head negatively, looking at Stacie with a big smile. Mewtwo relays that he says Stacie needs him to keep her focused, to which she replies with a laugh. Tristan hands Lou’s Ball to Stacie, and the latter tells him to wait.
Stacie asks Mewtwo what he wants to do. Mewtwo doesn’t really answer. He asks if she’s still scared of him, to which Stacie replies no, not at all. But she feels he’s not her Pokémon. He’s his own Pokémon. And now that nobody else is going to come after him, her mission is complete. She hands the empty Master Ball to Tristan, telling him to give it back to Mr. Fuji. Mewtwo asks who this Mr. Fuji is, and Stacie tells him he’s a really nice man, and he should go meet him sometime. She’s sure they’d get along great.
Tristan takes the Master Ball, thanks them and Mewtwo for the adventure, and tells them to come visit the Volunteer House whenever they want, then takes his leave.

Stacie is left alone with Lou and Mewtwo, and tells the latter he can go now. Mewtwo asks her if she’s sure, noting Lou is saying her heard her say she’d never let a Pokémon be taken away from her. Holding back tears, she says yes, that’s true… But she didn’t say anything about releasing them herself. She reiterates that her mission was to keep him safe, and now that she’s done that, there’s no reason for him not to go off and live his own life.

Suddenly, Stacie’s Pokémon pop out of their Balls in a show of support, and Milo gently nudges her forward. Stacie inhales deeply, and asks Mewtwo to forgive her... And hugs him! Mewtwo is genuinely perplexed by this gesture, obviously, as is Lou. Between tears and sobs, Stacie thanks him profusely, for helping her face her fears, realize she was doing herself and everyone around her wrong, and bounce back from her misery, allowing her to take another shot at her dreams. She’s finally back, and it’s all thanks to him. To her surprise, Mewtwo thanks her and Lou too, for returning his own lost dream to him.

He softly releases himself from the hug, changes form, and asks her where she’s going next. Stacie says she doesn’t know. Probably somewhere where she can learn to be as wise as him, prompting a small chuckle from Mewtwo. Before he leaves, though, she offers him one of Jeanette’s Chesto milks, telling him it’s for the road. He takes it, thanking her, and takes off, leaving a streak of blue light as Stacie, Lou, and the rest cheerfully wave goodbye.

Stacie, Lou, and the rest of her Pokémon exchange looks.

“Well, guys… Where to?”

In a nearby forest, a Mew spies on them briefly, lets out a giggle and flies away.




Epilogue / End Credits

Stacie releases the Armaldo and Omastar she caught at the Tree of Beginning.

Jeanette tends to some Berry trees and Miltanks at her farm, despite her servants’ objections, and happily preps a batch of Berry milk with her Pokémon’s help.

Team Rocket HQ is in chaos after a bunch of files are deleted from its databases. Silver is seen observing the HQ from outside with a PokéBall in hand, and leaves.

Carmen and Diego are in jail, wondering how they even got there.

Tristan arrives at the Pokémon Volunteer House still in Channeler garb, and he and Nelia play with the orphan Pokémon, the former even laughing, much to Nelia’s surprise.

Mr. Fuji gets a package in the mail labeled “Shabby blue girl”. Inside is a PokéBall. He looks puzzled, and briefly feels he’s being watched.

Mewtwo watches Mr. Fuji from above. Cubone walks into the yard, and the two exchange a look of understanding before Mewtwo flies off.

Stacie and Lou enjoy the ocean view from an airplane, and arrive at Heahea City in Alola, ready for a new adventure. She answers her PokéGear and, after sporting an utterly disbelieving expression, becomes even more excited, even shedding a happy tear. She wipes it away, though, and she and Lou joyfully rush into the city, together with a gust of wind, as a rainbow is seen over the mountains.



To Be Continued…

P.S.: In order to follow the story, it helps if one is familiar with Mewtwo Strikes Back and The Birth of Mewtwo (either the radio drama or the short). In fact, that might be something I need to look into for those who are not...

P.P.S.: Whew, that's a load of my chest... Really, thank you so much for reading and any help you can provide. I really want to finally get this thing going!

 

[Snuggle Tier List]

Ello! Welcome to the community! We don't Bite, even if it's super effective.

I've gone through your outline, and I decided to give more broad-strokes advice rather than dive into the nitty-gritty. That's because the best way to get advice on your writing style is to write something. So before you publish your magnum opus, I'd recommend "testing the waters" with a short story or two, then participating in the Review Game or Review League to score feedback. You could also use the Samples Thread for pretty much the exact same purpose. All links should be in the Writer's Workshop Rules and Info sticky, in the Writer's Workshop.

I'll number my thoughts for convenience. The main point(s) of each thought, I'll put in bold. Like that!

Here we go!

Spoiler: Six and a half thoughts

1. About canon. One of the best parts of fanfic is that you pick what media is canon. If you're not familiar with Mewtwo Strikes Back (neither am I!), don't consider it canon. "Write what you know" and all that. And this is pretty easy to pull off; include in your summary that your fic loosely based around anime canon, and leave it at that. Then, just write your story assuming basic Pokémon knowledge (what Pokémon are, how Poké Balls work, etc). This also means non-Pokémon fans can mostly follow along, increasing your potential readerbase.

2. Early on, it seems you have the setup for a "ticking clock" plot device. A ticking clock in plot parlance is when something big and dramatic is inevitable, whether it's in a bomb going off or (in your case) Team Rocket slowly honing in on Mewtwo. To work, a ticking clock needs a satisfying payoff (in your case, Team Rocket confronting Stacie) and to not feel like it's ticking forever. All that in mind, I recommend moving the prologue scene to the end of Chapter 1. Introduce Stacie as a likable protagonist straight out the gate (I'm talking first paragraph here), have her encounter Mewtwo (perhaps Mewtwo mocking her trap before teleporting away? Chance encounter, but I'd imagine Mewtwo would find the trap amusing), then cut to Silver determined to use Team Rocket's resources to find anyone who has information on Mewtwo. Readers have an "uh-oh" as they realise Stacie's in that category, and now your plot has tension. I'd recommend making Carmen and Diego's introduction a little more intimidating than your typical Jessie and James duo, to further ratchet up the tension. Then, once Mr. Fuji gets the call, readers realise Team Rocket's homing in on our likeable protagonist and they'll be in the crosshairs soon.

2.5. Not actually advice, but I like the Mr. Fuji phone call in general. You've set up a ticking clock yourself; the readerbase knows Mr. Fuji's in trouble and they'll likely need help ASAP, but it takes until Chapter 5 before help arrives. Good work!

3. Tristan, as a character introduced during the middle of action-y chapters, will be hard to develop smoothly. Since they'll be travelling with Stacie as a duo, Tristan is a good candidate for Stacie's foil. If you don't know the term, a foil is a character dynamic where two characters contrast against each other. Cool-headed with a hothead, planner with a Leeroy Jenkins, etc. This highlights the perks and flaws of each character, and generally gives them stuff to talk about and debate during slower chapters.

4. Flashbacks. Within a flashback, there's little-to-no tension as your readers already know where it leads. For instance, in Dr. Fuji's flashback, the audience already knows Dr. Fuji survives. Thus, very few flashback scenes have tension and most can be replaced with short exposition. At the same time, your story has everyone keeping secrets, and readers can tell. Thus, most flashbacks can be safely replaced with short, satisfying dialogue "reveals". This should dramatically reduce your wordcount and thus quicken your story's overall pace.

5. The Master Ball deus ex machina. I don't think a Master Ball's needed. Mewtwo already has a vendetta against Team Rocket; have Stacie and Tristan attempt to capture Mewtwo without it. And since Mewtwo's conveniently crippled when they find Mewtwo, he's potentially weak enough in that moment to be captured.

6. (last one, I promise.) Mewtwo as a character struck me as awfully weak. His introduction is him falling into Lou's trap, then he repeatedly gets crippled and even kidnapped, like he's a damsel in distress. Mewtwo needs more badass moments. They're Mewtwo! Have them singlehandedly fend off Team Rocket's first capture attempt, blow up a helicopter or something. Perhaps strategically disable it instead of outright destroy, to show his softened heart. Being nice and being awesome don't have to be opposites.

Whew, this post took surprising long to write. I'm cutting it here so I don't overload you with criticism and give a somewhat timely response. If you'd like more feedback, I'm more than happy to help, though it's hard to judge your fic by just an outline. So to close this off, let me repeat: the best way to get advice is to write and publish something. Perhaps a short story in your continuity, to keep yourself motivated. I've seen a lot of authors keep a short story collection so they stay engaged when writer's block hits; I'd seriously recommend writing something, anything for the Writer's Workshop. Dip your toes in; we don't Bite.

 

[Beth Pavell]

Having a decent plan in mind is a good start. I'll echo Snuggle's comment - best thing you can do is crack on with writing something. Keep an open mind, particularly in regards to feedback. You may find yourself having to rethink ideas that seemed good in the plan but come apart in execution. It's part of the craft.

I recommend the Review Game especially, since I like to encourage reciprocal reviewing here. The Workshop is quite small as fanfic communities go, but this also means you can engage with your audience in a way you just can't elsewhere

 

[namohysip]

Hey, look! A fellow writer who has been planning/outlining/working on something for a decade! I can definitely relate to that -- before my current work here, I was working on some original stuff before I hit a snag that would require a full rewrite (again). Nothing wrong with that, and I'll get to it after this, but Hands of Creation more or less became my prototype for the story. I don't regret it, and here's why:

Like it was said before, the best way to become a better writer is to get something out there for others to see. That used to be publishing, or writing classes, or things like that, but here, it's fan fiction! Despite the bad rap it has, there are a lot of good writers right here on the forums who can help you get better. I know it helped me, even when I thought I was decent. I might have been, but I'm much better now, and am always finding ways to improve -- and it all starts when you get that first chapter out and just keep going, remembering to take all the feedback you see and evaluate whether it applies to you. More often than not, it will -- at least in my experience.

It's sort of like trying to learn a new language. You can take classes on it, and sure, you'll get pretty good... but nothing beats just going to that country and living there. The equivalent of the latter is to just publish something! I've grown as a writer by doing that more than anything else, so I encourage you to just take the plunge and see where it takes you.

 

[HikaRiolu]

Wow, thank you all so much for your feedback!

I'm actually in a kind of strange position when it comes to writing - I'm bilingual, so I always wonder in what language I should write in. I've felt that especially with my original story: should I write this in Portuguese and take a shot at actually getting a book published in my country? Or should I write it in English and try getting a larger following online and then publish it? ...It's a bit more complicated than that, but that's the main gist of it.

Anyway, back to my fanfic: reading through your comments made me wonder if I should take a crack at writing a few introductory short stories before diving into the main event. Kind of a way to minimize flashbacks and whatnot, and also see if my writing is up to snuff. When I do get back what I had written already for this fic, I already know I'm going to change things A LOT so I'm wondering if I wouldn't be better off just starting the whole thing from scratch.

Snuggle Tier List, I would be more than happy to know what else you have to say. I've spent so much time keeping this story to myself that any outside input is welcome at this point.

Speaking of which, I'll go through some of the points you mentioned:

Spoiler: Snuggle Tier's Points

1. I probably should've been clearer when I mentioned the "not familiar with MSB" part. I wasn't referring to myself, but rather prospective readers. MSB is one of my favorite movies ever, and I would've never even tried to attempt something like this if I didn't know it so well... Because I'm a perfectionist and continuity issues kind of bug me. On that note, I'm trying to keep as close to the anime canon as possible (well, with a few liberties here and there), and you're right, it's something I forgot to mention at the beginning.

2. Moving the Prologue to the end of Chapter 1 is not something I would've ever thought of, and I thank you for the idea! Stacie meeting Mewtwo at the beginning, though... There's only one problem with that. Stacie's pretty much traumatized by Mewtwo due to her loss at their hands under Giovanni. Heck, it's the main reason why the first capture attempt fails. She wouldn't try to pursue and catch Mewtwo on her own, at least not on purpose. If she did meet Mewtwo, say, by chance, she'd most likely have an anxiety attack, and I'd need to think about things differently.

3. It's interesting that you mention that, because Stacie and Tristan (well, the character who now is Tristan, the chap went through 5 names and 3 genders through the 10 years of their existence) ended up being prototypes for the main characters of the original story I mentioned, and the latter two follow the Red Oni Blue Oni dynamic to a T. It's just a trope that I like. The latter two don't have a Lou/mediator to balance things out between them, though.

4. That's a very good point. All I have to do is figure out when in the dialogue I should bring them up. Plus I had the other short story idea... Don't know if it's a good one, though.

5. I went with the Master Ball mostly because I've had this weird idea for a long time that Mewtwo's too powerful for a regular Ball or some-such. Example: In Pokémon Origins, when Red caught Metwtwo with an Ultra Ball, I was a little weirded out. It does make sense for Stacie to be equipped with a plethora of different Balls for any situation, so with that block out of the way, anything goes!

6. Eeeeeeeyup. I agree 100%, and I thank you for the ideas. One of my biggest struggles is Mewtwo in general, i.e. actually figure out what they'd would be doing until getting roped into this. I wanted it to be clearer that the emptiness he feels from the loss of Amber is still very present, even if he's got a new purpose in life. What would that purpose be? Yeah, that's another question. I've thought of them going around just doing random good deeds (probably looking like this) while they themselves figure it out.

Thanks again, y'all!