COMPLETE: Poetry, Plain and Simple.

[Fox311]

I'm posting my poetry here and I want you guys to come and take a look at it. Please post positive or constructive criticism. Tell me how to make my work better. Thank you!

Love peace and Torchic Grease,
Fox
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"Obvious" by Fox

As I sit behind you,
staring at your head,
wondering what's in there,
not hearing what is said.

All I do is day-dream,
about you and me,
thinking about loving you,
and everything in-between.

Isn't it Obvious,
how I feel inside,
I don't think I can keep it in,
I know I cannot hide.

When I walked over,
and told you I liked you,
you didn't speak but then,
you smiled and said "So it's true"

i asked you what that meant,
then you began to speak
"It's always been so obvious",
and laid a kiss upon my cheek.

 

[Karate]

Moved into the Non-Pokemon Fiction forum. I don't think a non-mod can post a single thread in which for all poetry to go, either. =/

Hmm.. a love poem? Sounds sort of like some song by an '80s hair-band.

But seriously, it's decent... even though it's too cheesey for my tastes. How long'd it take you to write?

 

[Fox311]

sorry, i just thought that maybe it would've been nice to have just one thread. Sorry about that.

It didn't take that long to write and that was a love poem. but I have written and plan on posting very different types of poetry too. Next poem will probably be depressing or lively or a new perspective on life.