an illegible mess.
i'll make tiny changes to earth.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2010
- Messages
- 1,289
- Reaction score
- 31
short chapter, but it was action-packed. i'm all for battle scenes and they were pretty good. one thing though; you repeated a line twice i think. if i remember correctly, someone in the chapter said "it'll be suicide" and then a few paragraphs later they (or someone else) said the same thing. (sorry about not naming the characters, i don't really know them all too well xD). you have to be careful about repeating stuff like that. i get a little bit annoyed when i see stuff like that, and i bet others would to. :U sometimes it's mainly a mess up or you just forget about it which is understandable, but make sure you go over the chapter before posting and look for sentences that don't make sense, or have repeats of previously said things.
overall, it was a rather decent chapter. kind of lacking in description, but still action-packed.
overall, it was a rather decent chapter. kind of lacking in description, but still action-packed.