EVERYONE: Pokemon Black Emerald

[Fairy Type Arceus]

E for everyone atm I wanted to base a story on a theory I made sometime back hopefully it ends up decent
Index:
prologue: This post
Chapter 1: coming soon





Prologue: mysterious attack.

Several years since the events of Pokemon emerald, many strange happenings have occurred in Hoenn, strange lights in the sky seemingly popping up from nowhere then vanishing as fast as they had appeared. It is around this same time the events of Pokemon Sun and Moon are happening. We pan to little root town, currently in the middle of a rain storm.

Norman was enjoying a cup of coffee with his old friend Birch staring out the window into the rainstorm, he loved the simplicity of the town, a few houses and green fields of tall grass where Pokemon played. These were just a few reasons Norman had chosen this town to move to when he first decided to go to Hoenn. He sat back in his chair slowly sipping his coffee and taking a deep breathe. A long time had passed since Norman could relax like this, he could only do this now that he had retired from his role as gym leader.

"This kind of reminds me of when Kyogre was set free, rain hasn't let up for hours." Norman chuckled remembering it was his child that had saved Hoenn that day.

Birch turned off his desk top and picked up three pokeballs sitting on his desk and walked toward Norman.

"Yeah, its been along time since that day, we're old men now but back then we were powerless too."

"You're not thinking of going out into the field to research right now are you, its pouring."

"No I just thought I'd give you these, so Olivia can pick her first Pokemon."

"You know our Grand daughter already Birch she has no interest in being trainer, she says its tough enough being the kid of the champion. She's not a trainer like her father, or her grandfather."

"I see." Birch said with disappointment.

We next see the battle tower also under the intense downpour a young purple haired women turns to Brenden giving him the gold frontier badge.

"It took you quite some time but you've beaten all the frontier brains, I'm impressed."

Brendan smiled while Swampert hugged him excitedly. The two danced for some time while Anabel stood there watching the two before turning to the window.

"Its been raining for awhile, why don't you rest her until the rain lets up."

We then pan from the Tv which had shown Brendans battle with Anabel, his daughter, Olivia was watching the battle and then turned off the Tv.

"Yeah good for him." Olivia said in a low sulking voice. she looked very similar to her mother, May except with a longer face and Brendens eyes, she wore her hair down it reached her shoulders.

She got up and went into the Kitchen no one was home, each step echoed in the dark house, the only sound being the rain pouring on the roof and the occasional crackle of thunder. As she went down the hall way Olivia looked at the trophies lining the walls from Brendan and May. Both had become successful Pokemon trainers in their own rights. A tear rolled down her face, many emotions twirling inside her mind from angry to resentment. She clenched her teeth and tightened her fist but quickly regained her calm.

"Yeah good for them..."

Olivia opened the door walking out into the pouring rain and making her way to Birch's research lab it didn't take long but she was soaking wet by the time she made it to the door and began banging on it hoping her grand father was home. Birch quickly opened the door letting her in.

"Why Olivia why did you walk all this way in the rain?" Birch said

"Mom and Dad are still out on their stupid Pokemon crap, there's no food in the house that's how long its been since either one was home."

"Ah I see, I'll make you some soup, go warm up by the fire."

Birch walked away turning on the radio in the kitchen as he began making the soup. The Radio was talking about how Brendan is the first trainer to ever get all seven gold frontier badges. Norman pulled up a sit along side Olivia.

"You know you mean the world to them, its just they're powerful trainers, its in their blood."

"But forgetting I exist for their stupid Pokemon isn't right."

"It's not the Pokemon's fault sweetie..."

"You're right they're just bad parents."

Norman looked sad, and looked back out the window feeling like Brendan may have felt that way about him when he was always away on his Pokemon journey. Norman opened his mouth to speak but as he did the ground began rumbling and the lights flickered on and off and Birch came out from the Kitchen with soup all over his face screaming.

"Turn on the Tv!"

Norman grabbed the remote and turned it on to see live coverage of the battle tower above it was an ultra worm hole, it spanned a large section of the sky and gave off an other worldly glow.

"Wh..what is that!?" Olivia said pointing at the strange Pokemon coming from it, it was big and red and looked very muscular, it gave out a loud cry and began circling the battle tower.

Birch grabbing Brendan's Pokedex he left behind shifted through it but found nothing after Deoxys.

"Is it a new kind of Pokemon?"

Soon the roof over their heads was sucked into the sky an ultra worm hole had opened over Little root as well Birch stumbled backwards accidentally falling onto the table that held the three pokeballs releasing all 3 of the pokemon inside the hoenn starters. On the Tv the entire battle tower was sucked into the worm hole alongside the UB that came with it Birch, Norman and Olivia went flying towards the worm hole with the rest of the building Olivia blacked out as the events unfolded then awoke the next morning to clear skies but a ruined little root. Winguls circling the area the worm hole had been. next to her was a Treecko and an unconscious professor Birch. Only now did the events fully hit her, the battle tower, her father and everyone in it, aswell as everyone in little root were gone. Tears welled in her eyes as she crawled to Birch trying to wake him up.

"Grandpa Birch wake up please."

Treecko walked up to her and hugged her, she turned to Treecko picking it up.

"Did you save us?"

Treecko nodded somehow it had kept her and Birch from being sucked into the worm hole the night before. Birch meanwhile finally coming too began to speak.

" Olivia, I'm glad to see you're ok."

"Grandpa what happened?"

"I don't know, it looked like a pokemon from another dimension. came and began sucking people into it."

"D...Dad was in the battle tower as it was being sucked up... and Grandpa Norman!"

"I'll stay here and try to contact some other researchers, in the meantime you go to petelburg and talk to the gym leader, see if everythings on there."

"But, I can't leave you here like this!"

"I'll be fine, and I'm sure you'll be fine, take Treecko with you to get there safely."

Olivia looked at professor Birch Then Treecko, she held her tears back standing up and Grabbing Treeckos pokeball.

"I'm no trainer, I'm returning Treecko to you when we've solved this grand pa, just promise me you'll be ok."

"I'm fine, the pokenav is undamaged so I can make contact with you when needed."

Olivia reluctantly calls Treecko to his pokeball attaching it to her belt and walking off onto route 101 into the unknown.

Professor Birch clearing the ruble managed to find a battery operated radio and turned it on.

"We have breaking news, after the events of last night we can confirm the disappearance of champion Brendan and Salon Maiden Anabel, also while the worm hole seems to have sucked away the battle tower a single man seems to have been spit out from it. We'll have more on this later as we learn more about the situation."

"Hm...what does it all mean?"

next time: Gym leader of Patelburg!

A little heavy for a prologue I know chapter 1 coming soon let me know what you think!

 

[Beth Pavell]

A couple of things I can immediately think of that would go some way towards improving the prologue.

First is simply technical accuracy. It's one of the simplest things you can do, but you'd be surprised how much of a difference it makes to readers. Capital letters in their proper place, dead on spelling (Incidentally the dialogue is formatted fine), and if there's ever a grey area - like whether to have the accent in pokémon, or whether to always capitalise pokémon species names - whatever you choose, make it consistent.

Second is that the chapter has a bit of a case of talking heads syndrome. To be fair, there is some attempt at setting the scene in there, what with the rainstorm and all, but the events move on very quickly and a lot of the dialogue gives the impression that it could be happening anywhere. It almost reads like the synopsis of a theory quickly turned into prose - give your story some time to breathe, take some time to really set up your world and pull your readers in.

If you're not all that used to writing prose, then I'd recommend reading a lot. Nobody ever just knows how to write - and if they claim to do just that then I call them a liar - it's something that's picked up through "study" and practice

 

[Fairy Type Arceus]

A couple of things I can immediately think of that would go some way towards improving the prologue.

First is simply technical accuracy. It's one of the simplest things you can do, but you'd be surprised how much of a difference it makes to readers. Capital letters in their proper place, dead on spelling (Incidentally the dialogue is formatted fine), and if there's ever a grey area - like whether to have the accent in pokémon, or whether to always capitalise pokémon species names - whatever you choose, make it consistent.

Second is that the chapter has a bit of a case of talking heads syndrome. To be fair, there is some attempt at setting the scene in there, what with the rainstorm and all, but the events move on very quickly and a lot of the dialogue gives the impression that it could be happening anywhere. It almost reads like the synopsis of a theory quickly turned into prose - give your story some time to breathe, take some time to really set up your world and pull your readers in.

If you're not all that used to writing prose, then I'd recommend reading a lot. Nobody ever just knows how to write - and if they claim to do just that then I call them a liar - it's something that's picked up through "study" and practice

SO I moved to quickly into the worm holes sucking things up? Maybe I should add a few more paragraphs with her talking to Norman and maybe extend the part where she decides to set out with Treecko?

 

[LightningTopaz]

You have an interesting idea here, but as it is, there's a lot of telling and barely any showing. Pretend I'm not familiar with Pokemon--how you describe the setting and characters to me?

Second, I am intrigued by your title--why Black Emerald, and not, say, Theta Emerald (as a lot of hypothetical Emerald remakes are called)?

If you want some good examples of prologues, you are welcome to peruse the directory for ideas and inspiration.

 

[Beth Pavell]

SO I moved to quickly into the worm holes sucking things up? Maybe I should add a few more paragraphs with her talking to Norman and maybe extend the part where she decides to set out with Treecko?

I think so - but be aware it's not just about wordcount. For example, if Olivia is going to be the protagonist here, then it would probably be a good idea to let us get to know her. More than anything else I could suggest reading as much as you write - reading more will give you a better idea of how to go about writing your own story