still occasionally here
- Aug 18, 2016
- Reaction score
“I’m wearing YOU!” Owen said. “Who hoards their own fur?! You don’t see me making a—making a bag out of my discarded scales! I think I’m going to throw up—”
Owen belched a volley of claw-sized seeds from his mouth. Rhys ducked to avoid the high-velocity projectiles, which instead clattered loudly against the rocky wall behind him.
Wow, talk about projectile vomiting.
or a Tanglea,
heart-shaped building. going straight for Anam’s quarters.
Period instead of comma.
“Wait, hang on,” Gahi said. “Yer mom’s a Gardevoir? How’s that work? I may not be much of a reader, but ain’t the mom usually the same species?!”
Mispy bopped Gahi on the head with a vine. “Don’t ask that.”
Oh my Star Gahi you can't just ask someone why they're not a Ralts.
Bulk Berry concentrate
Owen was close to tears. His whole world was collapsing around him. His dad was a ghost. His mom was immortal. What’s next?
You're gonna be the star of a hot new sitcom, clearly!
The cacophony in his head made the voices outside him feel like distant echoes
It was all fake.
“Not on my own, no,” Nevren said. “It was just an… invention of mine, thanks to some of Rhys’ help. We needed it in order to maintain Anam’s position, lest people realize that a Goodra has been the Association Head for centuries, let alone my existence alongside Rhys.”
I call it the Bleuralizer! Because copyrights.
Owen screamed. He screamed and rolled onto his back, swinging his split arms against the rocks, creating small gashes in the sandstone. His tail and legs were gone. They, too, were ingraining themselves into the ground, into the walls, and Owen had no control over it. “Stop, stop, STOP!” Owen wailed. “PLEASE, STOP!”
It's true what you said on Discord, it really is possible to write something like this as both comedy and drama depending on how one does it. This melting-into-vines part felt far more intense and dangerous than the vine in the throat, even though the potential for being horrifying and hilarious is about equal for both. And boy was it intense! Poor Owen.
Wasn't expecting Owen to evolve, but considering what's been revealed and the mysterious "late evolver" thing, I don't expect it to be permanent.
A lot has been revealed here and explained - we now know what was up with Alex exploding in the very intro, why Anam was described as 'glowing' while giving the speech, and probably a few other things I may have forgotten about. There's still a lot of mystery left, though, such as what caused Owen's vision of evolving and fighting Nevren that one time and what exactly is the plan of the Hunters. I was worried about how the mystery would be handled some chapters ago, but so far you've handled it awesomely imo.
One thing that felt kinda off was Gahi's reaction to Grass-Owen at the start of the chapter. It's true I don't know Gahi that well so far, but it did feel a little weird for him to just unsympathetically laugh at Owen's panic when just moments ago Owen had almost choked on a vine growing out of himself uncontrollably. Laughter is a coping mechanism, but this reaction feels like a bit too much and rather instant of a change on Gahi's part to me.
But yeah, great chapter as always! Looking forward to the next one.