COMPLETE: [Teen] Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Unequivocant

[canisaries]

Well, seems pretty good to me so far. See you with chapter 4.

 

[lucarioknight56]

Chapter 04: Equivos

Upon reaching the town, Lawrence stood astonished, taking in the scene before him. Pokémon of all sorts trudged across the cobble roads, carrying food, materials, even children to the various buildings that cropped up. A dull haze hovered above the stalls and carts, generated by the belching chimneys above.

Grom crouched behind the edge of the exterior wall. “Growm.”

Cassia nodded and moved next to Lawrence. “We’ll be careful. We’ll meet you at the edge of the woods.” Grom stomped away, giving Lawrence a parting glare.

Cassia walked forward and prompted Lawrence to follow. He complied, studying the Pokémon around him. A Buizel family carried sacks of green berries, while a trio of Timburr hauled bricks behind them. Bibarel lugged cords of wood, and Spritzee hovered near a bowl and sprinkled powder into it; an Ambipom near the bowl scooped the pink water into bottles and stopped it with a cork.

He held one up and exclaimed, “Fresh Spritzee perfume for sale!”

Lawrence spun around, marveling this society. ‘This is incredible! I never thought Pokémon would be able to do something like this: a market driven by Pokémon abilities, all working together to make products!’

A Mr. Mime held his hands up, appearing as if he was stuck in a box. Young Pokémon surrounded him, tossing an occasional coin into a hat at his feet.

Seeing the interaction, Lawrence asked, “You use money?”

Cassia pulled a tiny sack from the bag, shaking it. It clinked, and Cassia replied, “Yes, but I don’t have much.” She pulled away the lip of the bag, revealing eight simple gold chips. “I don’t think I can get everything I need with just this,” she sighed.

A shout of excitement erupted behind them, causing Lawrence to turn. A Flareon slapped down a pawful of coins and yanked a bag from a disgruntled Kecleon. “Thanks!”

The Kecleon grumbled as he watched the Flareon wander off. “Me being the generous guy I am…”

Lawrence eyed him and smiled. ‘Bartering here can’t be any worse than Castelia.’ He pointed at the Kecleon and said to Cassia, “Do we need anything from him?”

Cassia looked up for a moment. “Yeah, but—”

“Let’s go then!” Lawrence rushed toward him, leaving Cassia to hurriedly follow.

He stood in front of the counter, looking down at the Kecleon confidently. Cassia hovered behind him, looking behind her.

The Kecleon yawned, staring at Lawrence tiredly. “Whatcha want, Mister Watchog?”

Perplexed, Lawrence studied a polished pot sitting on the counter. The distorted reflection showed a beady-eyed Watchog with chubby cheeks.

‘Must be the Illusion Stone at work,’ he thought, staring at the reflection for a moment longer. He cleared his throat and leaned over to Cassia. “What do we need exactly?”

She pointed at a bundle of apples, a sack of flour, and a basket of berries. “We need those, but I can—”

“I’d like the apples, berries and flour, please,” Lawrence requested.

The Kecleon plucked the items from their sections and shuffled back to the counter. He studied them closely and said, “That’ll be eight coins.”

Lawrence leaned on the counter with a smile. “Any chance we could lower that a bit?”

“Great, a haggler,” the Kecleon moaned. “Look, I’m not makin’ any discounts. You better give me somethin’ if you don’t got the cash.”

Lawrence looked behind the Kecleon and saw a large crate next to a step stool. “I’m a pretty strong guy. Need any help moving something?”

The Kecleon looked back at the crate, then back at Lawrence. He made a smirk and said, “Hmm…well, if you can budge somethin’ a mine, I’ll sell the goods to you for four coins.”

“Deal!” Lawrence exclaimed.

The Kecleon lifted the table blocking the entrance, then stepped out of the way. “It’s just ‘round back.” They walked through an open doorway into a small alcove. Crates and bags of all sorts crowded the tiny space, the only bare spot occupied by a tiny stump in the center.

The Kecleon pointed at it and scowled. “That stump’s what’s left of an old sapling that managed to poke its way in a while back. I cut it down to size, but the darn thing manages to grow back every time!” His smirk returned. “But if you pull it out, roots and all, four coins is all it’ll cost ya.”

Lawrence looked back at Cassia and said, ‘Might as well try, right?” He studied his arms and thought, “I’m a pretty strong guy; I carry things all the time for others to get a little deal , even if it wasn’t official. I can pull out a little stump.’

He stooped over the bit of wood and yanked it upward. It shuddered slightly. He yanked it again, making an inch of bark appear at the bottom.

He took a deep breath and crouched low. He pulled it one last time, and a network of sturdy roots burst from the ground, spraying dirt over the Kecleon’s goods. Lawrence fell back, staring confusedly at the stump.

The Kecleon blanched and held out a shaking paw. “Th-That’ll be four coins, s-sir.”

Cassia gave the Kecleon payment while Lawrence figured out how he pulled the stump out so fast. ‘I remember pulling out a stump before, but I had to really pull and dig at it for a good while. This came out easily.’

He threw away the stump, watching his paw swing it to the ground. He blinked, realizing what made the difference in performance: ‘I’m a Lucario, not a person. That measly stump was nothing.’

He exited alongside Cassia, carrying the sack of food over his shoulder. “I did a pretty good job, didn’t I?”

They reentered the crowds and began searching for the next shop. “Yeah, I guess,” Cassia replied. “Just keep quiet about it. Watchog aren’t supposed to be strong like that.”

“I’m not the one who chose to be a Watchog,” Lawrence said, adjusting the bag.

“I don’t choose what the Illusion Stone makes you look like,” Cassia hissed. She pointed at a Leavanny standing in front of various fabric products. “I need another bag to keep things in; I have a hard time finding anything in this mess.”

Lawrence’s train of thought drifted to what Cassia had done before he encountered her. ‘I don’t expect to be with her for long, but I might as well figure out what type of Pokémon I’m dealing with.’

They came to the stand, and the Leavanny’s soft voice pierced his thoughts: “Five coins for the bag.”

“Could you bring that down to three if we did something for you?” Lawrence asked, cutting in front of Cassia.

The Leavanny set a claw to her mouth. “Well…I don’t normally do this, but I do need a little help right now.” She pointed to a length of leather scrunched on a counter. “I need this stretched while I sew it, but my assistant is gone for the day. If you help me with that, then we can talk.”

The thoughts of the stump fresh in his mind, Lawrence nodded. He went through the now-open counter and pulled the leather apart, making it taut.

The Leavanny punched the leather with a blade and threaded a string through it, and carefully wove it into a small bag. Lawrence felt the leather want to snap back to its original shape, but his sheer strength refused its desire. ‘Normally, I’d be tired out after a few seconds, but now I could hold it forever.’

The Leavanny snipped a thread and hummed happily. “Thank you for the help. I’ll take your money now.”

After giving her the coins, Cassia and Lawrence walked amongst the crowd again, moving toward an empty table next to the entrance of a pastry shop.

They sat down, and Cassia set her bags on the table. She pulled out the materials from one and began transferring some into the recently-bought one. “Thanks for helping me get this.” She covered the Arceist Tome as she pulled it out. “You got along with those Pokémon better than I ever could.” She gloomily snapped the bag shut, leaning on it with her elbow.

Lawrence leaned forward and cocked his head. “What’s wrong?”

She sighed, gesturing to the crowd bustling behind them. “I don’t…get along so well with others. I can do fine one-on-one, like with you, but…” She patted the bag containing the Tome. “I’m not so outgoing in places like this.”

“Don’t you teach about…you know, the book?” Lawrence suggested, struggling with the words. ‘I hate bringing that up, but she shouldn’t be so down on herself.’

Cassia nodded languidly. “Yeah, well I usually go to the Pokémon who aren’t as well off as here. Arceus is just a myth to practically everybody, considering what the Guild does.”

“What do they do?”

Cassia sprung upward, her eyes widening. “Not now!” She reached for Lawrence’s paw, then took her hand back, searching around her hastily. “Come inside, hurry!” she explained, entering the shop next to them.

Lawrence walked to Cassia’s previous seat and studied her view. He noticed a Feraligatr and Rhyperior trudging through the crowd, towering over the rabble and looking down on them. A black band emblazoned with a red arc of Arceus was strapped to their arms.

Lawrence walked into the shop, eyeing them suspiciously. ‘Were they what caused Cassia to be so worried?’

Inside, Cassia hovered in the corner, remaining as far from the window as possible. A grinning Simisear stood behind a glass counter, which showed a menagerie of different cakes, pies, and other baked goods.

“Welcome to the Burnt Biscuit, how may I help you today?” the keeper asked.

Lawrence looked over to Cassia. She gestured to him, holding their last coin out toward Lawrence.

Lawrence took the coin, stepped up to the counter and said, “Got anything for a coin?”

The Simisear looked up, hawing. “Indeed, I do! Would you be interested in—oh!” He fell silent and pointed at the door. “I…I wasn’t expecting you…”

Lawrence looked behind him and restrained a groan. The Feraligatr and Rhyperior from before had thrown open the door and trudged toward the Simisear, scowling.

The Feraligatr stood next to Lawrence and exclaimed, “Yer rent’s past due, George. Where’s the money?”

George twiddled his fingers and made a nervous chuckle. “I-I don’t have it yet. Weren’t you supposed to come next month?”

The Rhyperior leaned on the wall, making it creak. “The Guildmaster thinks we’ve been too lenient on you. He demands payment today.” He snorted, brushing his knuckles on his chest. “Pay up, or we’ll be yer wreckin’ crew.”

George frantically rushed around the counter and fell to his knees in front of the Feraligatr. “Please, anything but that! This is all I have!”

The Feraligatr jabbed a claw at him and laughed uproariously. “Ya hear that Valder? He’s beggin’ us!”

Valder laughed himself, smacking the wall and making the entire structure shake. “He’s a funny one, ain’t he Derak?”

As George pleaded and the Guild Pokémon mocked his plight, Lawrence’s gaze grew harder. He noticed Cassia pointing to the door, mouthing, “Let’s go.”

He shook his head and pointed behind him. He clenched his fist, then turned around and tapped Derak on the shoulder. “Hey.” Cassia rushed toward him as the giant turned.

“What you want?” Derak grumbled.

“Leave the guy alone. He’s done nothing to you,” Lawrence explained. The Simisear shrunk back, gazing at Lawrence gratefully.

Derak growled and glared at Lawrence. “Yer tellin’ us what to do, chubby cheeks? What you gonna do, little Watchog? We’re part of the Guild!”

Cassia stepped in front of Lawrence. “He doesn’t know any better! He’s got memory loss!”

Lawrence clenched his teeth, restraining the urge to push her away. ‘How is she so helpful to me but not to George?’ he thought in aggravation.

Valder the Rhyperior eyed Cassia and stepped forward. “Hey…don’t we recognize you? Those eyes…”

Derak stopped him and rubbed his chin. “Hmm…maybe on to somethin’ there.” Cassia averted her eyes and shivered.

Valder pounded his fists together and growled. “Wait a minute, yer Cassia! Connivin’—”

Cassia gasped and suddenly disappeared from view. All looked around for where she had gone, but the Gardevoir left no trace.

The Feraligatr slammed the table and roared, “Blast it! She got away!” He glared at Lawrence and bared his teeth. “You! You’re with her, aren’t ya?” Lawrence moved toward the door cautiously.

Valder raised an arm and aimed it at Lawrence. “Better hold still unless ya wanna hole through yer skull.”

Lawrence looked back, wishing more than ever to know about Cassia’s origins. “How in the world did she get on this Guild’s bad side, and how did she disappear like that?” He held up his paws and strained a stern face. “I’m not going with you,” he stuttered.

Derak cackled and raised a fist. “I hate the mouthy ones. Let’s shut ya up a bit.” He threw a punch at Lawrence's stomach. He flew into the wall, and felt a tingling sensation cover his body.

Valder and Derak’s jaws dropped. The Feraligatr raised a shaking claw and whispered, “Y-Yer a Lucario...yer supposed to be dead!”

Lawrence got up, groaning. “Yeah, well...I’m not.” He shakily came to his feet and ran through the open door, disoriented from Derak’s blow.

The Guild Pokémon stood dazed for a moment, then Valder slugged Derak on the arm and roared, “The boss’ll have our necks if he gets away!” They ran out the door, leaving George to huddle on the floor and hold his arms high.

“Thank Arceus...the Lucario have returned!”

~~~~

Lawrence ignored all the amazed faces he passed by, focused on reaching the forest, Grom’s waiting point. He heard a high-pitched whistle, then saw Pokémon pop out from the shadows, all wearing black armbands.

“You have to be kidding me,” Lawrence muttered as he turned into an alleyway. The Guild Pokémon followed him, roaring out threats to the fleeing Lucario.

A burst of flame blazed over Lawrence’s shoulder, singeing his fur. He looked back and saw a Growlithe shout, “Missed him!”

Lawrence took a passing crate and threw it at the Growlithe, knocking it underneath other Guild Pokémon. Many tripped over themselves, but a Weavile and Dodrio hopped over the heap and continued their chase.

He looked back again, noticing the remaining chasers. He looked to his sides, determined to lose them. He turned the corner, and the Weavile and Dodrio did the same.

They stopped at the tiny alcove and saw no trace of Lawrence. The Dodrio squawked, looking into the corners with its three heads. “Where’d he go?”

“He must’ve jumped the wall. Come on!” the Weavile shouted. They hopped over the nearby fence, much to the dismay of the Lopunny owner. They ran through the patch and continued through the alley, expecting to see Lawrence within several paces.

The Lucario rose up from the edge of the fence and looked toward the receding Guild Pokémon. He chuckled and thought, ‘Works every time, just like in Sinnoh.’ He turned around and crawled back over the fence, glancing back to ensure he lost them. He faced forward, and his paws were suddenly engulfed by Derak and Valder’s clutches.

Tightening his grip, the Rhyperior sneered and said, “The Guildmaster’s always lookin’ for someone new to beat up. I wonder how you’ll end up?”

Derak bared his teeth. “Ya think we can do some of the job for him?”

Valder raised his other arm and aimed it at Lawrence’s head. “I’m sure he’ll treat a half-dead Lucario the same as any other!” Lawrence struggled to release their grip, cringing at his expected fate.

“Graaaawm!”

Black fists suddenly slammed Valder and Derak to the ground, pinning them underneath the weight. The cracks throughout Grom’s body glowed fiercely, pouring crimson light across the ground.

He hovered just above the ground, with red jets of flame appearing at his feet. He raised his arms and held one out to Lawrence. “Ha-hawm!”

Lawrence hopped onto his arm and rubbed his wrists. “Thanks for the help.” They rose into the sky, and with a burst of light, rocketed toward the forest.

Moments after, Derak moaned and clawed the wall, pulling himself upright. Valder pounded a fist and pushed, standing up and rubbing his head afterward.

Valder spotted the fading red streak of light left behind by Grom. He punched the wall and shouted, “You idiot! You should’ve seen that coming a mile off!”

“How was I supposed to know that some...thing, was gonna clobber us?” Derak retorted. He rubbed his eyes and growled. “But we can’t just leave town either. Guildmaster’s rules, ya know?”

They considered their options, then, at the same time, raised their heads. They looked at each other, smiling maliciously.

“He’s off our land, so he’s not our problem,” Valder mused.

“He’s the Guildmaster’s problem,” Derak chuckled.

A Weavile and Dodrio jumped over the fence, with the Weavile muttering, “Can’t believe we lost--ack!” He shrunk back at the sight of the two commanders. “Captain! I-I didn’t know you were there.”

“W-We lost sight of the Lucario,” the Dodrio stammered.

Derak held the Weavile by his neck and grinned. “Get a bird over to the Guild. Tell ole Gardner that there’s a Lucario round here!”

“W-Will do b-boss! Would you...put me down?”

He dropped the Weavile and watched him scamper off, calling out for a messenger bird. The Dodrio fled from the captains, avoiding any further orders.

Valder chuckled and scratched his arm. “I’d love to see the look on that Lucario’s face when Gardner catches him.”

Derak looked up, a wicked grin spread across his face.

“For the glory of Arthus.”

~~~~

Grom descended into a clearing opposite of where they had come from, his rocket-powered legs decreasing in thrust. Cassia sat beneath a tree in front of them, her bags behind her. She kept her head lowered, hiding her eyes.

Lawrence hopped down from Grom’s arm and marched toward Cassia. “We have a lot to talk about! What happened back there, why’d those thugs want you, and how--”

Cassia raised her head, revealing a tear-stained face. Lawrence cut himself short, realizing how offensive he sounded.

He looked at Grom, who only made a tired moan, then stomped into the trees.

Cassia lowered her head again. “He needs to recharge after that flight.”

Lawrence stood still for a few moments, then sat next to Cassia. She scooted away, but still leaned back on the tree.

Lawrence came closer, then stared at the ground and said, “I didn’t know Grom could fly.”

Cassia shrugged. “It takes a lot out of him, so he prefers to walk,” she said with a slight croak.

Lawrence nodded his head slightly, then sighed and said, “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you back at the shop. I...I wanted to help that Simisear.”

Cassia looked up and rubbed her eyes. “I know. I would’ve done the same...if it wasn’t for those other Pokémon.”

Lawrence turned toward her and asked, “Why do they want you? They seemed pretty angry once they realized who you were.”

Cassia sighed and pulled the Arceist Tome out from the bag. “It’s because of this. The Guild’s been trying to convince Pokémon that Arceus doesn’t exist, that his laws are nonexistent, and that they wield true power.” She tightened her grip. “All because of Arthus.”

“Is it really worth the risk then? You said you wanted to teach Pokémon about the Tome, but if you’d die--”

“I won’t die doing what’s right!”

She stood up vehemently, throwing her arms back. “I’ve traveled over all Serenita, trying to bring Pokémon closer to Arceus, and I’ve had to deal with them at every turn! You don’t think I know what would happen to me if they caught me?”

Lawrence held his paws up defensively. “I didn’t mean to offend you! I’m just telling you what I think!”

Cassia raised her hand and opened her mouth, but promptly turned away. She breathed in deeply, then exhaled slowly. “Sorry...I didn’t mean to shout.” She slumped against the tree again. “I’ve done this for too long to just give up.”

Lawrence didn’t want to linger on the subject, so after waiting a minute, he said, “How’d you disappear like that?”

“Gardevoir can teleport. I guess you don’t remember, because of your amnesia.”

Lawrence nodded, remembering his protective lie. “Those thugs noticed I was a Lucario after I got punched into the wall. Why?”

“It’s...complicated. To put it simply, the Illusion Stone doesn’t work after you have hard contact. You can grab things and be touched, but once you have something like a punch, or you’re thrown into something,” Cassia waved her arm. “It’s done.”

Her explanation sounded familiar to Lawrence, but before he could focus his thoughts, Cassia said, “I like what you did for me back at those shops. I really needed a new bag, and I couldn’t have done that if you didn’t make a deal with that Kecleon.”

“You’re...you’re welcome.” Lawrence blinked and returned to staring at the ground.

Cassia stood up and picked up her bags. “Look, I know you don’t know much about me, but I hardly know you either. Today you helped me out, but if you want to know more about me, you have to prove that I can trust you.”

Lawrence wanted to comment out on his own ability to trust her, but instead he said, “I understand. I can’t tell you much about me either. You know...memory loss?”

Cassia smiled. “Right.” She held a bag out to him. “If you’re going to be with me, can you at least carry the supplies?” She narrowed her eyes. “I’m going to need more than a guy who gets me discounts.”

Lawrence smiled, restraining a laugh. A sobering thought came into his mind, and his smile faded. He put the bag over his shoulder and said, “Those Guild Pokémon said that I should be dead, since I’m a Lucario. What happened to them?”

Cassia gazed at the ground. “They’re all dead. Thanks to Arthus.”

~~~~

Far away from Lawrence, Cassia and Grom, along the western side of Serenita, a shadow watched from atop a tower. The canyon around the tower lay coated in lifeless brown grass, and the statues at its entrance reduced to rubble. The once-grand buildings that surrounded the tower—rotted to shambles. Miniscule shacks and huts cropped around the ruins, both Guild Pokémon and lowly citizens fighting for space in the desecrated plaza. Dust and decay permeated through the air, and only a low whistle of wind provided any sound but the silent cries of those who passed.

At the top of the tower, a Dusknoir sat in a chair in front of a desk, poring over a book. All around him on the walls of the room were shelves lined with various artifacts and other books, all covered in dust. The window provided the barest of light, but Gardner’s eye sent a menacing glow across the pages. Cobwebs and Bat Pokemon hung in the rafters, careful not to irritate the Guildmaster.

He turned the page, then rubbed the three jagged scars across his face with a grunt. One stretched across his eye, creating a silvery-white pupil across it. His free hand stretched and slammed the table. “When Arthus finds that traitorous wretch…”

Tap—tap—tap!

He looked up, spotting a Staravia sitting behind the window, a letter clutched in its beak. He closed the book and said, “Enter.” The Staravia pushed the window open and hurriedly flapped to Gardner, set down the letter on the book, then flew away, shutting the window behind it.

Gardner inspected the envelope, seeing his name in crude letters. He ripped it open and tore out the letter itself, his eye flitting across the sheet:

To: Guildmaster Gardner Dusknoir

From: Captain Valder Rhyperior of Saunte

Subject: Lucario Sighting

Gardner made a curious grunt. “A Lucario? Arthus killed them all years ago.”

He read the rest of the letter, the scar across his eye flitting across the page. He crumpled it and threw it at a sleeping flock of Zubat, causing them to scatter through the various holes in the window. After their flaps dissipated, he sighed, continuing to read his book. ‘Arthus will be back before long…I’d rather delay the inevitable.’

An hour passed, and Gardner found nothing of interest in ‘Legends of Equivos: Their Powers and Tales’. He was about to give up reading it—until he saw a certain entry.

He clutched the book and held it up, his eye wide. “Yes…yes! This is exactly what we need!”

“What is exactly what we need?”

Gardner spun around and saw Arthus leaning against the wall near the stairs, studying his claws. The Zoroark brushed back his mane and said, “I came inside a few minutes ago, but you seemed deep in thought; I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Gardner leapt off his chair and brought the book to Arthus. “I’ve found it! I’ve found someone who can fix the Seal!”

Arthus took the book and read the pages he left open. They depicted a round figure holding aloft two golden rings. Behind him, a violet creature extended its six arms, staring back at Arthus with emerald eyes. Around them, at the sides of the pages, it described their abilities.

As Arthus read, his smile grew wider and wider. At the end of his reading, he slammed the book closed and laughed, “Excellent work! Hoopa will do very nicely!” His face suddenly fell. “But there’s the matter of actually finding him. Even if I could go to Deitae—which I can’t with the Seal as it is—he won’t work with me.”

Gardner opened the book again and pointed out a passage. “Not if we follow this: ‘Hoopa was a mighty being in the distant past, granting wishes with hoops and his ability to mimic the gods. One day, he grew too prideful and challenged the Legends to numerous duels and succeeded, nearly killing them. As punishment, Arceus bound the majority of his power into the Prison Bottle, and left a calmer, humble form in his place. But his great power strives to rejoin him and is willing to grant a single wish to whoever releases him.’”

Arthus tapped his chin with a smirk. “So, if I find the Prison Bottle, I can repair the Seal and take Arceus.”

“That seems to be correct. I’ll search in the records for more details, but—”

“All well and good!” Arthus interrupted, tossing the book back to Gardner. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll be going.”

As Arthus started toward the stairs, Gardner reached out to him. “Wait, Lord Arthus!” The Zoroark twisted his head to him.

Gardner tapped his fingers against the book, then said, “A letter came from Saunte today. Captain Valder said he spotted Cassia there.”

Arthus leapt in front of Gardner and grabbed his shoulders. “He did? Why didn’t you say so earlier? I have to go there immediately!”

Gardner gently pushed Arthus away with the book. “There’s more. He said that after she disappeared, they found someone accompanying her.”

Arthus crossed his arms and held his head up “I am well aware that that accursed Golurk, Grom, travels with her. Don’t think I don’t remember.”

Gardner cringed. “No, there was someone else. More specifically…a…Lucario.”

The Zoroark suddenly punched the wall, his eyes wide and breathing quickening. “A what?”

Gardner tossed the book on the desk, holding up his hands. “A Lucario, but—”

Arthus roared, slashing the wall with Life-infused claws, leaving jagged burns across the stone. “I killed them! I killed them all! And now one just shows up!” His last statement finished with him slamming a wooden shelf, instantly breaking it and spreading its contents across the floor.

He forced himself to take deep breaths, closing his eyes and clutching his head. He soon calmed, holding himself up in a dignified manner. “Did Captain Valder say where they were going?”

Gardner let out his saved breath in relief. “No, since the Lucario managed to flee with Cassia. He had apparently been knocked down by Grom before he could determine their direction.”

Arthus sighed, rubbing his face. “I guess I’ll have to figure it out myself then.” He continued down the stairs, then stopped, looking up at Gardner. “Search for the Prison Bottle’s location. I’ll…I’ll see if I can take care of Cassia before then. I’ll be getting ready.” He exited, the door closing with a click.

Gardner sat down on his chair again, then took a thicker, aged book labeled, ‘Guild Index’ and scanned through it. As he passed through titles of other books, he thought, “At least now his attention won’t be divided…hopefully.’

~~~~

Lawrence lay on the grass away from Cassia, who slept behind Grom’s enormity. He typed away on the Pokédex his adventure within the town, growing more used to typing with paws with each word. ‘This would make a fantastic story when I get back—if I get back.’

He tapped out of the notepad and searched for an access point again, receiving the taunting sign of failure, just like his previous attempts. Discouraged, he slid the Pokédex back into its case, and gazed at the stars of Equivos.

Sighing, he attempted to trace any constellations. He gave up and thought, ‘Can’t see any from Sinnoh. Yet another sign that this isn’t my world.’ He stared at the sky. ‘Reminds me of my move from Unova from Sinnoh, three years ago.’ He grimaced. ‘From small towns and false beliefs to big cities and closed-off people.’ Sighing, he looked up. ‘And now I’m back.’

Worse, he himself was a Pokémon. ‘How did I change? Why? Did some higher being do this?’ Lawrence groaned. ‘Look at me, blaming some god.’

He sighed and closed his eyes. ‘Then there’s this whole business with Arthus. Cassia loathes him, but why? How did she come to preach Arceism? How does such a religion exist here, despite the odds?’ He rubbed his face and groaned. ‘This place just wasn’t what I was expecting. All the Pokémon talk, but they also act so…human.’

He opened his eyes again and studied his paws. ‘I’m a Pokémon now, one that Equivos hasn’t seen since Arthus supposedly killed them all.’ He lowered his paws. ‘Does that mean that I’m unique in two ways in this world?’

He gave up asking these questions and decided to fall asleep. ‘Despite being a Lucario, I’m just…tired out.’ Thoughts of him insulting the species came to mind as he drifted out of consciousness.

 

[canisaries]

Review time! Let's dive right into this brand new fourth chapter.

Lawrence thought that these interactions were genius, if predictable. A market driven by Pokemon’s select talents, all having to work together in order to get respective products. In Unova, your skills were determined by genetics and living situation, but here? It was all on your species.

...Species kind of is your genetics, though?

She pointed to a length of leather scrunched on a counter.

So if leather is animal hide, and Pokemon are the animals here...

...wh-who did this nice lady skin?

Time to get out of here.

I think "It was time to get out of there" may fit better within the rest of the narration, given that it's in past tense and "Time to..." sort of implies the present.

They considered their options, then, at the same time, raised their heads. They looked at each other, smiling maliciously.

“He’s off our land, so he’s not our problem,” Valder mused.

“He’s the Guildmaster’s problem,” Derak chuckled.

Haha, I like these guys. They may be a bit cliché as henchmen go, but they're entertaining, so I don't mind.

Lawrence nodded, remembering his protective lie. “The rock you gave me--the Illusion Stone--it didn’t work after that Feraligatr hit me. Why’s that?”

So Lawrence did realize the illusion had worn off... it was kind of strange how Lawrence didn't seem that surprised when his cover was blown. It kind of read like he just accepted it on the fly or even knew that it would happen, which he couldn't have as he hadn't learned about that mechanic of the stone yet.

Gardner passed through the door, then noticed a Torracat snoring on the ground. “Mange!”

The Torracat leapt to his feet and saluted shakily. “Awatin’ orders, s-sir!”

Oh, poor kitty ;p I hope that's a nickname and not a given name, otherwise his parents must not have been too fond of him.

Also, did you mean "Awaitin'"? Could also have been some kind of accent, so can't know for sure.

When the ruby finally settle,

Settled?

A gaseous arm fingered a gaping hole in the window, coming into corporeality. Rusted red stripes ringed his chest and arms, remnants of a power given. The jagged mouth in his chest remained closed, its duty of consuming souls a forgotten dream.

The dust-covered glass reflected the staring eye of its cruel caretaker. It reflected the dull red antenna attached to its head, receiving the silent pleas of lost souls, only to be ignored by the master. The massive hands crushed the pebbles littering the eaves, throwing it down to his wispy tail.

Great description as always, but I feel like the palette swap isn't really needed? Dusknoir is a menacing design as is, and there already is one abnormally red-and-black-colored character. Red tends to also be a pretty overused color when it comes to evil. said the writer with an evil character named red

Gardner looked back and watched the gates of his guild shut. The business of his Guild mattered little to him; these menial matters were ultimately distracting to what he truly wanted:

Respect and power.

It's good to see that there's more variance to these boss-type antagonists, as before the corporate dude and Arthus felt a bit similar. Gardner represents a more calm and collected but still malicious type, different from Arthus's more dramatic persona.

Sitting on the remains of a once-magnificent mountain, Arthus kicked away rubble and blasted a boulder with a burst of red light. “I swear I killed them all. None could have escaped my wrath!”

[...]

“Time to fetch a bottle.”

Now I know that the audience needs to know all this stuff, but... is Arthus just talking to himself here? Kind of silly, but then again, Arthus doesn't seem to be the most self-aware guy.

Sighing, he attempted to trace any constellations. None of the ones he knew from Sinnoh appeared. Another indication that he was in an alien world. This reminded him of when he had first moved from Sinnoh three years ago, away from the familiar rural home he was raised in.

This is a nice detail to focus on. Goes beyond just saying there was a starry sky. That, and it transitions nicely into Lawrence pondering about his own world and this one, which is also well done. He really sounds like he's asking the right and most relevant questions at that moment.

Conclusion

I have to admit, I didn't really find all that much negative to say about this chapter compared to the other ones. Instead, the chapter flowed well, there was just the right amount of description - not too much, but not too scarce - and the characters felt sympathetic. Overall, a good read, and you can bet on me reading the next chapter, too.

Until then or any possible queries you may have about my review, see ya.

 

[lucarioknight56]

I'll try to have the changes up for the chapters by tomorrow. Thanks for the suggestions, by the way.

As for the leather...I unfortunately let that fly over my head. In this world there are two types of Pokemon: wild, and Enlightened. Enlightened are all the civilized Pokemon, named for the three Pokemon of the Lake of Enlightenment (Uxie, Mesprit, Azelf) that gave them sentience. The wild Pokemon are more similar to our own animals, and with that in mind, leather would come from them.

I put in the detail that Arthus eliminated the wild Pokemon, but I think I will edit that out, instead making it so wild Pokemon have become scarce over the years.

 

[diamondpearl876]

a materializing claw reached for the gathering storm. He solidified, his fangs glinting in the fading moonlight, and his mane taking on its natural crimson hue.

Like this description a lot. In general, your description seems to have improved by a fair amount. Your writing style feels tighter, flows better, and doesn't feel melodramatic quite as often. The pacing in the prologue feels a bit fast for me - particularly at the four year time gap - but I think that's mostly because I'm not used to reading action packed fics, lol.

Zaman cocked his head, making another smile. “Surprise. Did you miss me?” The Delphox faded, revealing a Zoroark with streaks of white fur and a large build.

You'd think these guys would have more protective measures against zoroark since zoroark are known for their illusionist tricks and there seems to have been a longstanding feud between the two species. Then again, I guess no one expected Arthus to be resurrected and just show up at their doorstep regardless.

“Had to be done. I have to rid my lineage of their association with--” he shuddered, “Lucario. There’s few Zoroarks left, and fewer still that have my signature feature.” He pointed to his eyes. “Strange that they’re inherited, no?”

Rhianna stooped and extended her claws. “You monster!”

Arthus chuckled, raising an arm. “At least you’ll put up more of a fight than that sap did. Just fell into my arms, shivering like a Snorunt, like the coward he was.”

I like this dialogue. I do agree with other reviewers who say it still feels a tad hard to take seriously, but this is only the prologue and it's mostly Arthus speaking, so I can't judge fully yet.

“Hmm…’The Arceist Tome: A History of Equivos and the Teachings of Arceus’,” Arthus muttered. He ripped it in half, throwing the scattered pages behind him. “Arceus is below me.”

Well, that's actually kind of badass, though yeah, it is hard to take him seriously in most spots.

Kaiser glared at Arthus, covered with scratches and wobbling forward and back. “You’re a coward…fight me…” He fell forward, at which Arthus stepped to the side. “Like a Pokemon.” Kaiser slid down the stairs, stopping with a thud at the bottom.

Sorry, dude, but Arthus seems like the type to show off his immense power any chance he can get.

I don't think Arthus seems too overpowered right now... The others are at least putting up some kind of a fight.

The Lucario soon withered to a frail husk, his fur faded and his features sunken. He fell to the ground alongside the bodies of his wife and child, leaving nothing on Arthus’ outstretched claws.

You do a good job switching up the description and dialogue with each fight scene.

The Duskull nodded. “Yes, master! I’ve always admired your power, and wished to have the strength to beat my fellow Ghosts into ethereal goo!” He shook violently. “I was always last to feed on the Life they found, and no one ever gave me worth!” He circled Arthus’ head. “But I know that you always made your servants your equals! You promised them a place at your side when you would take the Life of all in the world, then use it to create a new generation!” He made a hoarse laugh. “I kept that belief hidden from the others of course; no one else appreciated your genius.”

I like this duskull dude already. The wording's kind of awkward in spots ("gave me worth" in particular), but you portray his eagerness well here.

The Duskull nodded, staring at the claws uncomfortably. “Yes, Sire, but…why do you want everyone to forget Arceus?”

Arthus’ eyes emanated scarlet mist. “To show them that my perfect world is the only one!” Red tendrils surrounded the Duskull, and he began to moan.

The Zoroark let go of the Ghost, allowing him to fall to the ground. The tendrils became a crimson cocoon around him, and it began to grow. “With this act on my part, I now make you Guildmaster of this Guild.”

The cocoon swelled, then cracked open, revealing a single, glowing eye. Two grey fists punched out of it, and pulled away the cocoon, revealing a Dusknoir.

He looked down at his changed form, then clenched his fists. “Thank you, master. You have granted my greatest wish.”

Arthus snapped his fingers and wrapped an arm around the Dusknoir’s neck. A black and red gem appeared in his claws. He held it out to the Dusknoir and asked, “What is your name, Guildmaster Dusknoir?”

The Dusknoir took the gem greedily, then pressed it into his chest.

“Gardner. Gardner Dusknoir.”

Liked this scene a lot. I don't know, I think it's a cool image to see Arthus just rip into a ghost's body and force it to evolve. Seems Duskull enjoyed it and is happy to serve, at any rate, lmfao.

The Zorua said nothing. It stared at the vast illustration set on the page, depicting Arceus in the center of all the Legends of Equivos. The eyes of them seemed to stare back, beckoning to the Zorua.

Arthus closed the book, and the Zorua looked up at him and whimpered. Arthus put a claw over his heart, closing his eyes. “Oh, I know you want to hear more stories, but it's time for sleep.” He set the Tome on the stack, then picked up the Zorua.

He set it on a puffy cushion, then snapped his fingers. The fire above them dimmed to a low glow, and Arthus opened the exit. “Good night…my little Zorua.” He left the room and shut the door behind him.

The Zorua continued to stare at the book, and finally, leapt off the cushion, then knocked over the pile of books. The book flipped to the page depicting Arceus and the Legends, toppling from the pile and landing open.

The Zorua continued to gaze at the picture, and saw them move. Arceus seemed to draw closer; a wisp of light glowed from his arc and hovered in front of the Zorua’s nose.

It played with the wisp of light, giggling. The light wrapped gently around its paw, then suddenly faded. The picture stopped moving.

The Zorua yawned, and fell asleep on the open pages. Images of Arceus and a silver Lucario danced through its dreams, bringing hope and kindness outside of what it knew.

I like this scene as a whole, too... It's cute, and I'm sure it spells a ton of trouble for Arthus that'll be shown in the course of this fic, but, you know, for now it's cute.

I'll be back for more.[/quote][/quote]

 

[lucarioknight56]

Chapter 05: Vigilante

Lawrence stood on a desolate peak, crouching behind a series of rocks. He watched a family of Furret huddle around one of the few berry bushes in the area, greedily taking the berries. He smiled. ‘I love this place. I can see just how Arceus made Pokémon: to be like us.’

The ground rumbled, and Lawrence looked up. The Furret scurried away as a Gabite and Nidoking burst into the area, wrestling each other with vicious claws, each attempting to get the edge over the other.

Lawrence backed away, then tripped on a rock, falling onto his back. The roaring Pokémon drew closer, the Gabite landing a vicious slash on the Nidoking.

Lawrence scrambled to his feet, running from the scene. The Nidoking stomped the ground and punched the Gabite, the rocks wavering under his might. Lawrence wobbled unsteadily and fell once more.

The Nidoking swept the Gabite’s chest with his tail, sending it flying over Lawrence. Dust and gravel ballooned around the impact, and Lawrence restrained a cough as to not be discovered.

The dust settled, and Lawrence gazed directly at the eye of the Gabite. He expected to see some sort of human emotion—anger, fear, pain—but nothing was there except a blank, staring abyss of black and gold. Nothing remotely human lay in this Gabite.

It hissed and leapt on top of the Nidoking, clamping onto its back with its claws. It stumbled away, and Lawrence finally ran from the scene, rushing down the mountain and returning to the alcove he had discovered only minutes ago.

He kept his hands close, almost praying to Arceus to thank him for saving him. The memory of the Gabite returned to him, however. The eyes—they defied Arceus’ teachings of Pokémon. They were supposed to be creatures that felt just as he felt, but instead they were inhuman beings that held no emotion.

~~~~

He opened his eyes, realizing once more that he was a Lucario. A Pokémon, only with humanity. That dream, a memory from years ago, was the start of his separation from Arceism.

Leaving that thought he pulled out his Pokédex and tapped a Poke Ball icon, checking Grom and Cassia’s location to ensure they were asleep. When certain, he scrolled through the numerous pictures of Pokémon, then finally selected a Lucario.

Reading through the information on his current species, the events with Derak and Valder came to mind. ‘I have no idea how to fight like this, and I can’t rely on Cassia and Grom to save me forever.’

The page in the main Pokédex function, however, gave little detail on Lucario fighting styles. There was plenty on behavior, common locations and type advantages, but there was no mention of common Lucario tactics.

Lawrence turned off the Pokédex and put it away, considering what he’d do. ‘I’m a prime target without Cassia’s ‘Illusion Stone’, what with me being the last Lucario. I don’t want to leave her—right now, at least—but if we get separated—like before—I want to do more than run.’ He frowned and stood up. ‘Especially if another Pokémon’s in danger.’

He shook his head and pressed his paws against his face. The memory returned. ‘That day on Mount Coronet.’ He removed his paw and shook his head. ‘Arceus isn’t real. How could a benevolent god make such savage Pokémon?’

He removed his paws and scowled. ‘How was I to know that Arceism was here? That I couldn’t get back? I’d be back home by now if it wasn’t for that wormhole.’ He cringed, remembering the experiments the Pokémon in Facility D were forced to go through. ‘Then again, maybe bringing a Pokémon back wasn’t the best idea…especially after meeting them myself.’

“Grraawwm?”

Lawrence flinched and spun around, then saw Grom standing several inches from him. “Gah!” He fell back and watched Grom chuckle in amusement. “How did you do that? You shake the ground whenever you move!”

The giant cocked his head, then pointed at Lawrence’s Pokédex. “Gro-ho-hawm?”

Lawrence looked down at it, then covered it with his paw. “It’s nothing. Just something I carry with me, that’s all.” As Grom studied him, Lawrence thought, ‘If I tell Grom about where I and the Pokédex came from, he’ll surely tell Cassia, then leave me because I’ll sound insane. I can’t let that happen, not when I can’t protect myself!’

“Graw-hawm!” Grom shouted, reaching his hand toward it.

Lawrence stepped away. “No!”

“What’s going on?”

Grom and Lawrence turned and saw Cassia holding the two bags, cocking her head curiously. “We won’t be able to make it to Barash in the afternoon unless we get going now.”

Grom pointed at the Pokédex and stamped his foot. “Grom-gro-graw!”

“That black thing? Why do you want to know what it is?”

“Owm-gro,” Grom stated, his eyes turning a shade darker.

Cassia stiffened, then forced a slight smile, holding her hand out to Lawrence. “Grom has some…concerns. Can you…let us see the box?”

“Why do you want to know? It’s just something I keep with me is all,” Lawrence replied, crossing his arms.

“I just don’t want Grom to get the wrong idea about you,” Cassia replied. Her smile faded. “I don’t either.”

Keeping his paw on the case, Lawrence thought about her statement. He sighed, and reluctantly pulled out the Pokédex, and set it in Cassia’s hand, the screen black. “It’s nothing. How many times do I have to tell you?”

The Gardevoir inspected it thoroughly, pulling open the case and pressing the buttons, all with no effect. “Hmph.” She looked up at Grom. “See? There’s nothing from the Guild on this.” She gave it back to Lawrence and crossed her arms. “Where’d you get it? I haven’t seen anything like it.”

Lawrence sighed, grateful that he had turned it off. “I don’t really remember. I’ve had it with me since I hit my head on that tree.”

“Don’t you mean when you fell out of a tree?”

Cursing inwardly, Lawrence laughed and nodded. “Yeah, that’s right. See, my memory isn’t all that great.”

Cassia looked up at Grom, who stared blankly back. She looked back at Lawrence, then held out a bag. “Tell us when you start remembering things. You seem like a good guy, but…” She sighed. “Grom brings up some valid points.”

Lawrence accepted the bag and swung it over his shoulder. ‘I held them off that time, but I can’t keep this up forever; they’ll find out unless I’m careful.’

They traveled along the well-worn path, the mood grimmer than the previous morning. Grom didn’t hum, and Cassia led with no zeal. The cheer of a new companion had faded, and now Lawrence felt that they were suspicious of him.

He took a glance back at Grom, who lowered his head and growled. Lawrence grimaced and faced forward, his first meeting coming back to haunt him. ‘Grom doesn’t seem to be trust me…if anything, he’s going to hurt me sooner or later if I do the wrong thing at the wrong time.’

As they ambled along, Lawrence studied the onyx Golurk. ‘He seemed nice enough before, so what’s changed between us?’ He shifted his gaze to the Gardevoir. ‘Maybe it’s when I spoke with Cassia the past few nights? She wasn’t in the best mood afterward, so he might think I’m attacking her verbally. He’s her guardian, so of course he’d be concerned.’ Lawrence held a paw over his neck. ‘I don’t want to find out what happens to Pokémon he thinks are a danger to Cassia.’

~~~~

The autumn breeze turned warm as the falling leaves turned to fine grains. Grass shifted to bare ground, coated with a thin layer of sand. Cacti sprouted in place of maple and pine, and the thick scent of sap was replaced with a dry, earthy smell.

A series of ridges sprouted up in the horizon. Lawrence continued walking forward, eventually seeing that it was a series of low-roofed buildings, colored a dull brown.

“Is that the town? Barash, right?” Lawrence asked. It didn’t appear as developed as Saunte; the crumbled bricks of walls and the disheveled remnants of homes dotted the surrounding landscape, and the sand whipped wildly through the air. No Pokémon could be seen from his vantage point.

Cassia looked back, her expression unrevealing of her emotions. “Yes. We’ll go inside, but this time, we’re going to teach Pokémon about the Tome.”

Lawrence’s stomach churned. ‘If I’m going to hear more stories from that book, I’d rather stay with Grom.’

The Golurk grumbled irritably to himself, glaring at Lawrence. Cassia pursed her lips and exclaimed. “No, he may not stay with you! You might not trust him, but I do.” She turned away. “For now. I don’t want you scaring him off.”

Lawrence edged away from Grom and toward Cassia. ‘On the other hand, stories are safer than Golurk.’

~~~~

Deathly silence prevailed through Barash. Dust whipped through open windows, and shutters flapped in the wind. Underneath Cassia’s and Lawrence’s feet, bare remains of wood and stone crunched. The pale brown buildings stood strong against the warm gale, protecting a mere shell of what it once was.

Cassia studied the structures warily, keeping her arms at her waist. “Strange...last I heard, Barash was a busy city with no Guild influence.”

A sharp crack came from the roof of a building. They whipped their heads in its direction, seeing the fleeing remnant of a black garment.

“When did you hear that?”

Padded footsteps darted across another rooftop, and several figures rushed past.

“A few weeks ago,” Cassia replied, taking steps back. “Where’s all the Pokémon?”

A tiny brown-furred head suddenly popped up from behind a wall. “Get away from here!” she hoarsely cried.

Silver barbs and streaks of lightning suddenly erupted from the rooftops, all aimed toward Lawrence and Cassia. The Gardevoir elegantly dodged all the projectiles--circling her way to the entrance--while Lawrence ran away, struck by several of the thorns and bolts.

They hid behind the wall and waited for the assault to end. When stray electricity could no longer be seen, Lawrence wheezed and rubbed his back. “What just happened?”

Cassia craned her head, studying the retreating Pokémon above. “Cacturne and Galvantula. They must have taken over.” She looked back at the home of the one that had tried to warn them. “That Eevee is probably one of the few that survive here.” She turned back to Lawrence, determined. “We have to help them.”

Lawrence shook his head and crossed his arms. “We have no way to attack them! I don’t kno--remember, anything a Lucario can do, and there’s obviously too many to fight single-handedly.”

Cassia gave him a cold look, then sighed, shaking her head. “You’re...you’re right. We can’t help them.” She walked toward a black pillar in the distance—Grom—looking back at Barash.

Lawrence followed, feeling that they had made the right choice.

~~~~

They reached Grom, and Lawrence thought they would simply turn back on the trail and go to the coastline, where they’d hopefully go to their next destination, Cretea--where he hoped there would be a dimensional weakness.

Cassia sat on the sand and explained, “We’ll be sleeping here for the night.”

Lawrence’s jaw dropped. “But it’s not even sunset! We can still cover a lot of ground!”

Cassia calmly pulled out her blanket and said, “We’re staying here, and that’s final. Right Grom?”

“Grawm,” the Golurk replied, nodding his head. He tramped toward a patch of dark soil, then planted his feet under the sand. Red tendrils extended from beneath, and Life energy began to seep into Grom’s frame.

Lawrence stepped away and let Cassia set up the blanket beneath them. “But what about getting to the coast? There’s nothing left here!”

“Yes, there is: Pokémon. Pokémon controlled by Arthus and his followers, with no one left to protect them.” Cassia pulled out the Arceist Tome and opened it, searching its pages. “We’re not leaving until all those Guild Pokémon taken care of.”

“How? There must be hundreds of those guys back there! We can’t do that,” Lawrence refuted.

Cassia looked up and stated. “Arceus will help them. He’s done it before.”

Lawrence restrained a sarcastic ‘ha’. “How?”

She looked up with a puzzled expression. “Sending someone, of course.”

“Do you really believe that?” he replied.

“I know it. Why are you so negative all of a sudden?” Cassia asked, standing up.

Lawrence struggled for a reasonable explanation, saying, “Because…because…”

“Because what?”

Lawrence stood still. “Because what he supposedly said isn’t true.” He tapped his head. “I remember an experience I had. He doesn’t lie, yet he did.”

Cassia’s eyes widened, and she tightened her grip on the Tome. “You sound like a Guild Pokémon.”

“Graw, graw!” Grom shouted from his viewpoint.

Lawrence stepped back, realizing his mistake. “No, that’s not what I—”

“No. It makes sense now.” She stepped forward, setting the Tome on the ground. Furrowing her brow, she said, “You were sent by those Captains in Saunte. You thought you could earn my trust, then lead me in so they could capture me. When you failed, you kept on following me, that way the same thing could happen in Barash.” She nodded to Grom. “He’s been suspicious of you since we met, but I wanted to trust you, since you were a Lucario.” She turned back to Lawrence, scowling. “But now I see that even Lucario can be loyal to Arthus.”

Lawrence shook his head vigorously, stepping closer. “No, that’s not true! I’m not—”

Cassia slapped his face, so quickly he could only feel the stinging left behind. As he reeled back, she glared at him and growled, “Get away from me.”

Lawrence stared wide-eyed at her for a moment, holding his cheek, then hardened his gaze. “Fine! I’ll go!” He turned away and snorted. “And here I thought we were friends.” Cassia inhaled sharply, then Lawrence ran for the trees, dust billowing behind him.

Grom pounded closer, setting a hand on Cassia’s shoulder. “Gro-grawm. Hawm.”

The Gardevoir slumped against Grom, closing her eyes. “I know…it’s for the best,” she sighed. “Keep watch for him. I don’t think he’ll come back, but…just in case.”

Grom raised his head, his eyes glowing more brightly.

“Graawm.”

~~~~

Lawrence halted near the fringe, when dusk fell on the desert. He punched a nearby tree in frustration, making it shake vigorously and his fist scream in pain. He shook it wildly and seethed. ‘Me? A Guild Pokémon? I’m not a bully like that Feraligatr and Rhyperior were!’ He rubbed his cheek again. ‘And then that slap…’

He whipped the Pokédex off his shoulder and checked for a weakness. No luck.

He silently cursed and stashed it away again. ‘I don’t need Cassia or Grom; I just need a way home, where I don’t have to be worried about being a Pokémon or paired with zealots…where I can be myself.’

He sat down and leaned against the sickened tree, waiting for nightfall. ‘Why’d I even go with Cassia in the first place? I know how to take care of myself; I survived a week alone around Mount Coronet in high school!’

The Electabuzz and Machoke came to mind, and their statement about him. ‘They said the Lucario are all dead.’ He looked down at the Illusion Stone, studying the black rock’s numerous cracks. ‘Even with this, I’m still a target. I can’t avoid everyone while I try to find a way back. A Watchog isn’t much a threat, so they could jump me and discover who I am—then send me to the Guild.’

He cringed, then thought, ‘Then there’s this Arthus character. Cassia treats him like a threat, someone to avoid even speaking of. I don’t necessarily agree, but there’s definitely something…malevolent surrounding him.’ He held a paw over his chest. ‘Like an Ariados waiting to strike.’

Lawrence yawned. ‘I wish I could stay with Cassia, but it’s probably better like this. For now, I should head for the coast. There might be a way back around there.’

He soon fell asleep, falling into murky shadows.

~~~~

Darkness surrounded Lawrence on all sides. He was his human self again, looking toward a hooded figure. Red claws hung from its arms, and a red mane swished down its back.

“You’ve done it again, strange one. And this time, you were so daring to say that I’m not a threat.” The figure turned toward Lawrence, his eyes covered by a vague shadow. “Let’s discuss, shall we?” It faded, then fiery red spheres surrounded Lawrence.

Lawrence jerked in surprise, keeping his arms away from the burning crimson lights. “Who are you?”

A sharp cackle emanated through the air. “Who are you?” Lawrence felt a prick at his shoulder, and upon looking down, saw the sharpened claws of a Zoroark.

The figure spun around him, and the crimson flames circled as well. “A faithless coward. A lying fraud.” The figure stopped, revealing a Zoroark, his eyes still dark. His hands clamped around Lawrence’s head in the blink of an eye. “…Lawrence is it?” Lawrence shook, wishing desperately to bat away the hands, but found himself frozen with fear.

The Zoroark bored into his mind, until suddenly flinching and bellowing, “You’ve seen Cassia! And that Golurk as well!” He kicked Lawrence to the ground and loomed over him. His eyes came into view—cold, pale blue eyes, flickering left and right as he studied the man. “But they’re not with you.” He held his claws underneath Lawrence’s chin. “Where are they?”

Lawrence backed away, but the circling flames stopped him. “W-Who are you?”

The Zoroark paused, then grinned. “I thought it would have been obvious by now, Lawrence.” A ball of red fire grew in his palm. “I am Arthus Zoroark. Many call me the Usurper.” He aimed the sphere toward Lawrence. “And I very much exist.” The sphere rocketed from his palm toward Lawrence’s chest.

Boom!

~~~~

Lawrence cried out and opened his eyes, then held a paw against his heart, ensuring that Arthus hadn’t dealt the killing blow. When this fear finally fled, he sighed waveringly. ‘It was just a dream.’

He studied the ground, then leapt up at the sight of receding tendrils of rust-colored mist. As they sunk beneath the ground, Lawrence thought, ‘I must have slept on top of another Life Deposit.’

Boom!

He whipped his head toward Barash. Bright orange light poured over the ruined walls, and the shouts of Pokémon carried through the air. The darkness of night only made the light even bolder.

Lawrence hastily came to his feet. ‘There must’ve been an accident…or an attack! They need help!’

He turned away, closing his eyes. ‘But Grom is keeping watch. He’d surely attack me if I went close to Cassia again, if he isn’t already in Barash. And if he’s there, he might think I’m helping the Guild.’

He looked back, screams resonating through the night. ‘But does that matter?’

A jet of flame rose from the center of Barash, and Lawrence ran toward the town. As he sprinted across the sand, he thought, ‘Who cares what Grom thinks; I’m just doing what’s right!’

He ran past a black pillar, ignoring it. Two sharp-cornered lights sparked in them, and the mighty limbs shook. “Hawwm.” Two jets of crimson fire suddenly threw it into the air. It leaned forward, following Lawrence.

Lawrence ran through the gate and stopped, taking in the fiery tragedy surrounding him. The thatched roofs of the buildings were aflame, weakening the already-brittle walls of the town. Galvantula and Cacturne surrounded a black-furred Pokémon whipping around in the center, striking down all who came near.

It stopped momentarily, slowing down enough for Lawrence to see what it was: a Zoroark wearing a white mask, the eyes glowing red.

The Zoroark turned toward Lawrence and lowered its head, stabbing a Galvantula’s leg. The spider moaned and fell to the ground, weakened by the red light siphoned from it. the Zoroark pointed at Lawrence, its white mask reflecting the golden flames back toward him.

He froze, the recent horror of Arthus returning to him. ‘He…he looks like Arthus. He doesn’t hesitate, and he’s attacking all the Guild Pokémon. Why?’

A scream pierced through the air, and Lawrence turned to its direction. He ran into the alleyways, dodging the flames and running toward a cracked building.

The rough stone, surrounded by rising fire from the wood and thatch, began to crumble under the heat. The entire front side lay covered with burning timbers, knocked down from the house just in front of it.

“Help! Someone, please! We’re trapped!” a desperate voice called from within.

Lawrence sized up the building and scowled. ‘How? The timbers are too large, and they’re on fire! What can I do?’ He ran to the window. ‘I’ll try from here!’

“Graaww!”

A black fist slammed the ground in front of Lawrence, then another slammed him into the wall, cracking it. The jagged openings in Grom’s body poured with crimson light, and the eyes trailed with rusted mist. “Graw-hawm!”

Lawrence groaned and came to his feet. “Someone’s trapped in there! You have to help them!”

Grom threw another punch, which Lawrence ducked under. “Gro-hum! Graw!”

Lawrence ran around the giant, but abruptly stopped when his tail was suddenly yanked. He fell back, then looked at Grom’s fist clamped around his tail.

Grom raised a fist over Lawrence, then shook his head. “Grooh…”

Lawrence looked at the house and shouted, "But let me help those Pokémon stuck in there! You can't leave them to die!" Searching for another reason, Lawrence added, "You can hit me all you want after that. You can say that I'm a Guild Pokémon all you want and make me go on my own! Just let me help them!"

Coughing echoed from the building, and Grom’s eyes suddenly faded to a dull glow. After a moment of stillness, he released Lawrence’s tail, then helped him onto his feet. Lawrence faced him, then the giant knelt down, lowering his head. “Grawm…” he moaned.

A sickening crack emanated from the roof, followed by a scream. Lawrence ran toward the timbers and exclaimed, “I know, you’re sorry, but please, help!” He reached toward the blazing wood but yanked his paws back from the heat.

Grom stood up and pounded his fists, making a slight bow. He stepped in front of the wood, pried his fingers underneath, then lifted them up, grunting.

Lawrence ran through the entry, his eyes watering in the streaming smoke. Huddled in the corner were two Minccino and a Cinccino. The Minccino hugged each other and looked up at Lawrence, frightened, while the Cinccino lay on the floor, her head bleeding.

Pieces of straw and wood fell from the ceiling, disintegrating from the heat. The timbers cracked and popped, sagging further as the stone deteriorated.

Lawrence studied the room swiftly and exclaimed, “Get out, now! There’s no time!”

“But, Mom’s not waking up!” the larger Minccino replied.

“Lucario…” the smaller gasped.

Lawrence slung the Cinccino over his shoulders and shouted, “I’ve got her, just get out of here!”

The two Minccino rushed out of the room, and Lawrence did as well. The roof finally collapsed, the sudden impact forcing Lawrence to the ground. The walls imploded, sending a plume of dust into the surrounding area.

Coughing, Lawrence stood up, blearily searching for the Minccino. “Is everyone alright?”

“Grawwm!”

Grom emerged from the cloud, the Minccino sitting in his hands.

The smaller Minccino leapt from his hand and exclaimed, “Mama!” She ran underneath Lawrence and hopped up and down, reaching futilely for her mother.

The larger Minccino leaned out, studying her mother with concern. “Is she alright?”

Lawrence set the Cinccino on the ground, noticing her staggered breathing. “She’s alive, but we need to get away from here.” He cringed when another innocent screamed. “How in the world did this happen?”

“This strange Pokémon showed up and said that those Guild Pokémon needed to leave. When they didn’t, he beat them up, and that mean old Toka Turtonator--the Guild’s boss--made everything on fire!” the older Minccino exclaimed.

Lawrence sighed in relief. ‘He was only trying to help everyone here…but still, why?’

Grom leaned forward and set the Minccino down. “Gro-howm.” He pointed to the other houses.

Lawrence nodded. “Right, you go see if there’s anyone else, I’ll get them out.” He picked up the Cinccino and ran toward the exit. “Follow me!” The Minccino followed, gazing at the flames around them fearfully.

Sitting on the wall, the masked Zoroark watched Lawrence run from the town, the Cinccino family in paw. A slight smile appeared, then he leapt from the wall and toward a Turtonator spouting a flamethrower from his snout.

Toka stamped his foot and snorted. “You can’t defeat me, traitor!”

The Zoroark’s smile faded. He held his arm out, causing a growing orb of Life Energy to appear.

He slung it at Toka, who rolled out of the way. Toka charged toward the Zoroark, spitting a giant flame ball from his snout.

The Zoroark slid underneath the flame ball and Toka, slashing the legs of the Turtonator. He then whipped around and threw a Life Sphere toward Toka’s back. The Turtonator erupted in a burst of flame, throwing back the Zoroark.

The Zoroark slid against the ground, the particles making up his shield disintegrating in the air. Toka flopped against the ground face-first, moaning in pain. The Zoroark flipped him onto his back, then stood on his chest.

Despite Toka’s groans, the Zoroark leaned in close and lifted his mask.

“For Arceus.”

~~~~

The flames across Barash faded, and the collapsing structures halted their descent. Little more than forty Pokémon stood around the smoking husk, nursing their wounds and caring for their young. Grom marched through the city, gathering the remaining Guild Pokémon and restraining them.

Lawrence fell to the ground, clutching his arm. Blackened fur surrounded his paw, and patches of red cropped around his body. A smoky scent hovered around him, and his eyes struggled to stay open.

He coughed and looked back to Barash, his vision fading. ‘I…I should have been more careful.’ He struggled to see the Pokémon he saved. ‘But at least…everyone’s safe.’

He fell flat on the ground, falling unconscious.

~~~~

Mumbling voices and excited whispers floated in Lawrence’s mind, stirring him to wakefulness. He opened his eyes and rubbed his head, feeling a peculiar roughness under his paw. He looked at his arm and noticed lengths of blue-stained fabric wrapped around it. His legs and side had the same gauze, soothing the harsh burns.

The Pokémon from Barash surrounded Grom, with many huddling around his legs and looking up. Lawrence stood up, then started to stretch. His burns protested the movement with a sharp spike of pain, and he pulled his arms close to avoid further harm.

The Minccino from before, who stood at the rear of the crowd, looked back and gasped. “The Lucario’s awake!” The crowd turned their gaze to Lawrence, studying him with a cross of wonder and awe.

He smiled weakly and waved a paw. “H-Hello.” He pushed a paw against his head, groaning.

Pokémon shifted as one made their way through the center, saying, “Let me through, please, he’s my friend!” The Pokémon around her parted, revealing Cassia, her Tome held in front of her chest.

She came close to Lawrence, checking the bandages. “You were badly burned when we found you out here. I thankfully had some Rawst berries, so I was able to make a healing gauze for you.” She looked back at the crowd momentarily. “I was...wrong about you. You helped everyone get out of the town while that Zoroark handled all the Guild Pokémon, including their captain, Toka Turtonator.” She shook her head sadly. “They’re all tied up now. They had their Life drained from them, so they’ll be too weak to do anything for a long time.”

Lawrence laughed with her, reaching out for her hand. “Thanks for...understanding, I guess. I didn’t act the way I should after you said those things, so…”

Cassia pulled back her hand, nodding. “It’s alright.” She turned back to the town Pokémon and said, “Do you want to learn about the Tome? I was just teaching them about it while you were sleeping.”

The two Minccino ran over and tugged on Lawrence’s arms, with the elder one exclaiming, “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

Despite his feelings toward Arceism, he shrugged and followed the Minccino. ‘Why not? At the least, it’ll help me know more about Equivos.’

He carefully stepped through the crowd and sat on a rock, wincing as he moved. A Helioptile leaned toward him and asked, “How’d you hide from the Guild? I thought they killed all the Lucario.”

Lawrence didn’t know how to answer, but before he could attempt to explain, Grom clanged a fist against his chest, catching the Pokémon’s attention.

Cassia cleared her throat, then opened the Tome. “Today I’m here to tell you about a Legend that the Guild today tried to hide from you, by destroying the other copies of the Tome, and silencing any who dare talk about him. His name is Arceus, and he created Equivos and all the Pokémon that live here.” She hesitated, turning to the wizened Grumpig to her right. “I must warn you that the Guild is trying to erase Arceus’ name, including by killing those who teach about him. Are you willing to suffer whatever may happen if they find out I was here?”

The Grumpig hawed. “They burned down our homes and took everything we had. As former mayor of Barash, I think I speak for everyone in saying, ‘What else can they do to us?’” The other town Pokémon nodded in agreement, with several calling out for Cassia to teach.

Cassia nodded, turning her gaze to the Tome. “Very well. I have two lessons for you today: one for the adults, and one for the children.”

“First, I will read a passage from Dictations 4, from roughly 1700 years ago:”

I, Arceus, creator of Equivos, declare that all Life is precious unto me, and that all who possess it must respect it in all ways to return to the Tree of Life.

All must treat the other like thyself, whether it be through dealings, relations, conversation, or discussion.

For I say that unless this be done alongside my other commandments, they shall not be saved upon the Day of Destruction, in the final days of my greatest creation.

However, those who do follow my commands will be taken to the Tree of Life, home of all who have borne Life and have fallen by Time or Destruction. Then, shall they be taken to the Realm of the Keeper, before the Final Desolation.

Cassia continued teaching the adults, but Lawrence shut her out. ‘Those words…they sound like they’re from Sinnoh’s book, the Arcean Texts.’ He sighed and set his chin against his paw, leaning on his leg. ‘Why’d I think this was a good idea?’

Despite his reaction, the Minccino at his feet smiled wide, while the Krookodile to his right began to tear up. All around him, Pokémon listened and accepted Cassia’s message from Arceus. Lawrence agreed with Cassia’s thoughts, but thought, ‘All good words, but they can’t be from Arceus. That’s what’s wrong with them.’

Cassia stopped reading Dictations and held the book out to the audience. Grom lowered her to the ground, and the children drew closer.

She pointed at the picture in the pages: a Riolu walking alongside a Lucario in a set of leather clothing, in a dense forest. “I’ll now tell you a story of a young Riolu named Laryon, and his uncle, Matheus Lucario.

“Laryon was an obedient Riolu, but one day, he forgot to follow one of Matheus’ rules while traveling: never explore without checking for signs of wild Pokémon.

“In his time, wild Pokémon were everywhere, and many were dangerous.” Cassia turned the page, showing Laryon standing in front of a large cave. “He entered a cave, ignoring the bones and smell that came from it. Inside, he discovered…” She flipped the page.

“A den of Charizard!” she exclaimed, forcing eeps of shock from her audience. Over a dozen Charizard lounged on massive boulders, spitting flames in their sleep and clutching bones in their claws. Laryon stood at the entrance with a face of shock.

“He didn’t know what to do after that; the Charizard would have heard him if he walked out, and he couldn’t fight them on his own. He was trapped.”

Cries of fear and anticipation erupted amongst the children, all wanting to hear what Laryon did.

Cassia smiled, flipping the page. “Matheus felt his aura nearby and realized that he was in trouble. He ran to the cave where Laryon was--just as the Charizard woke up.” Matheus ran across the forest, moving toward the distant cave.

The page turned, and Matheus was shown standing in front of Laryon, enclosed in blue light as the Charizard dove in for their attack. “Matheus was a master of Aura, and the founder of Lucario Guild, the Pokémon that protected us before it was taken over by Arthus Zoroark. He was a champion of many battles and was not afraid of the flight of Charizard.”

Astounded ‘oohs’ and ‘ahs’ came as she flipped between pictures of Matheus fighting the Charizard with spheres of blue light, his fists, or glowing poles, all without taking a hit.

She stopped on the last page, showing Matheus holding Laryon on his shoulders, walking away from the cave, where Charizard lay on the ground, defeated. “Matheus saved Laryon that day and reminded him to always remember the commands given to him by his elders.”

She closed the Tome. “As you all know, Laryon would grow up to be a wonderful Lucario, saving many from wild Pokémon, Outlaws, and natural disasters--all because Matheus taught him the ways of Arceus.” She stood up, holding the Tome to her side. “Remember, Arceus’ word is law. Like Laryon, we must remember what he says to avoid calamity, like the Charizard. Some can save us from our mistakes, like Matheus, but on the last day, we must be obedient to him.”

Dozens of questions sprung upon her, whether they be about menial areas of life, to the biggest questions one could offer. She struggled to answer them all, even with Grom gently pushing them away.

Lawrence walked out of the crowd and toward the woods, slowly as to avoid hurting himself. ‘They’re so much like the congregations back home.’ He looked back briefly, then shook his head. ‘If I stay, they’ll just ask more about me—like if I’m an Arceist.’ He shuffled forward and sighed. ‘But I’m not, so why stay around?’

Cassia laughed weakly as she parted from the crowd, waving to all the Pokémon. “Thank you so much, but I really must be going! There’s other Pokémon who need me!”

Grom pushed through, carefully shaking off a Minccino clinging to his arm. “Gro-howm…” he scolded, wagging a finger at her.

“Big…” she replied.

Grom chuckled, pushing it back toward her brother. “Gra-ham!” He stomped toward Cassia, looking over her shoulder.

Cassia pulled out a small book from her bag and, with a bit of charcoal, wrote ‘Barash’ in a page covered with other names. “Just one more left until we go to Cretea.” She put the book away, noticing Lawrence walking on his own.

She looked up to Grom, then back to Lawrence. “Let’s catch up to him.”

“Gro-gro!” He picked up Cassia and burst into the air, rocketing toward Lawrence.

He abruptly stopped just in front of him, quaking the ground when he fell. Cassia hopped down from his hand and sighed, wiping her brow. “I haven’t had such an enthusiastic crowd before! Kind of tired me out, really.” She noticed his dark expression, then her smile dissipated. “What’s wrong?”

Lawrence crossed his arms and sighed. “Sorry that I left. I just…I just don’t like crowds.” He thought carefully, then said, “I didn’t have a very popular belief where I came from.”

“You remember more.” Cassia bit her lip, then said, “I should’ve been more considerate before. You really have amnesia, don’t you?”

Lawrence felt a pang of guilt, then nodded his head. “Yes. Yes, I do.” He rubbed his side, scratching at the itchy bandage. “Not being an Arceist made me a target. The other…Pokémon, told me that I was crazy, that I hated them, that I was…” He cringed. “That I was on my own.”

Cassia looked up at Grom with a surprised expression, then back at Lawrence. “I…wasn’t expecting that. I’ve heard about Arceists being driven out, considering what the Guild’s done, but never a non-believer having that happen.”

“I…lived somewhere where that was the case,” Lawrence replied. Not wanting to blow his cover, he said, “So, that Zoroark back there…back in town. Is he related to Arthus?”

Cassia flinched, then held her shoulder. “What makes you say that?”

“It’s that red light he used. I…I had another dream about Arthus. He somehow read my mind, and he wanted to know where you were” Cassia stared at him, wide-eyed. He continued, “He looked like he was going to kill me with red fire. It looked like what Grom takes from the ground…Life. Not all Zoroark can use it, right?”

Cassia blew her breath out slowly, then said, “Yes…he’s related to Arthus. From what I’ve heard, he ran away from him to serve Arceus. He comes around sometimes to get rid of the Guild, but other than that—"

“Graw!” Grom moaned, pointing ahead. A streak of crimson light shot across the desert from a stone landmark in the distance, coursing toward the forest. Lawrence felt a pang of fear.

Cassia paled, keeping a hand inside a bag. “He’s going to Saunte. Arthus…Arthus is tracking us.” She took a deep breath, then marched toward a section of deadened forest to their right.

Lawrence stepped in front of her, careful with his bandages. “Whoa, wait a minute. You’re going toward the guy who wants to catch you?”

“I’m not going to Saunte,” Cassia explained, stepping around him. “We’re going somewhere that...I’d really rather not be, to be honest.” She twisted her head and said, “Grom, you remember that haunted part of the woods we wandered into one time, right?”

Grom nodded, growling.

“Wait...haunted? With Ghosts?” Lawrence asked, curious.

“What else? Now, come on, let’s get going; it’s rather far away,” Cassia replied, throwing the supply bag back to Lawrence.

He caught it with a grunt, then followed her.

 

[canisaries]

Hi, I'm back, read chapter 5, gonna review, let's go. As usual, starting with some extracts.

Lawrence flinched and spun around, then saw Grom standing several inches from him. “Gah!” He fell back and watched Grom chuckle in amusement. “How did you do that? You shake the ground every time you move a muscle!” Lawrence exclaimed.

I always like it when strange stuff is pointed out. In some cases it doesn't excuse the strangeness, but in every case it's self aware and I like it when a story is self aware, but not fourth-wall-breaking self aware.

while Lawrence ran away, struck by several of the thorns and volts.

It may just be my own pet peeve, but I'd use "bolts". Volt is a unit of voltage (aka "how much these charged particles want to go over there") which only together with resistance (which depends on the conductor) determine the current (aka "how much charge moves past this point in this amount of time") which is measured with amperes (fun fact: Mareep is an anagram of ampere).

It is true that this is a fantasy world based on media primarily targeted for children so I'm definitely overthinking this, but with even that in mind, one or several volts aren't actually that much when it comes to effects on health. Current (amperes) are what actually do the damage (and boy do they do damage, only 0.1 amperes going through you is already fatal), but the body's resistance is high enough to not allow for those kinds of currents with low voltage.

Electrical safety depends on a lot of things, but for example, touching a car battery (12 volts) can only give you a tingle, and that's if your hands are wet. (I still don't recommend doing it, though, better safe than sorry.) And given these are Pokemon which we know to have superhuman abilities, they may be able to handle even more than us. Jolteon's Pokedex entry (and you know how the Pokedex is when it comes to exaggeration) says it can generate 10,000 V lightning bolts. So, the gist of what I'm trying to say is that "several volts" is kind of unimpressive.

Lawrence shook his head and crossed his arms. “We have no way to attack them! I don’t kno--remember, anything a Lucario can do, and I you don’t know how to fight!”

Either there's one word missing or one word too many here.

“Yes, you are! You would rather save yourself than others, and you don’t believe in the Legends!” Cassia pointed at Grom. “Grom told me earlier that he thought it was suspicious that no Pokemon came to chase us back in Saunte, and that you happened to be in the forest right when we were. Those just sound like tactics that—” She hardened her gaze. “That a Guild Pokemon would use.”

Hmm, I don't know... In the previous chapter, Cassia wanted to leave a Pokemon who needed help (George the Simisear) while Lawrence stood up against the Guild Pokemon without much reason other than altruism.

He punched a nearby tree in frustration, making his fist scream in pain.

Is this a very strong tree? With Lawrence's new strength, it'd be more likely for the tree to fall down.

He cracked a half-mad grin.

Only half? Arthus is making progress.

“I am the Master of Life and Death.” An arm appeared from the claws. “I am the killer of Matheus Lucario, the Betrayer!” The rest of the Zoroark appeared, his eyes still covered. “I am he who tried to steal the Legends themselves!” Sharp pain radiated through Lawrence’s shoulder, forcing him to crouch.

Man, Arthus sure has an ego. I wonder what made him so hammy. This isn't criticism, I'm actually curious to find out, perhaps in another story?

Coughing echoed from the building, and Grom’s eyes suddenly faded to a dull glow. After a moment of stillness, he released Lawrence’s tail, then picked him up. Lawrence faced him, then the giant knelt down, lowering his head. “Grawm…” he moaned.

A sickening crack emanated from the roof, followed by a scream. Lawrence ran toward the timbers and exclaimed, “I know, you’re sorry, but please, help!” He reached toward the blazing wood, but yanked his paws back from the heat.

I'm not totally sure what happens in the bolded part? I can't tell where/why he's being picked up, and more importantly, when he's put down. The very next sentences make it appear that Lawrence is not being held by Grom and in the next paragraph he's running freely, so Grom must have let go at some point.

his eyes watering in the streaming smoke.

Nice detail. Characters being physically affected by the environment is always a great way of making a scene engaging.

Lawrence ran through the entry, his eyes watering in the streaming smoke. Huddled in the corner were two Mincinno and a Cincinno. The Mincinno hugged each other and looked up at Lawrence, frightened, while the Cincinno lay on the floor, her head bleeding.

Minccino and Cinccino are misspelled.

He slung it at Zoka, who rolled out of the way. Zoka charged toward the Zoroark, spitting a giant flame ball from his snout.

Zoka and Zoroark are pretty similar... While readers are unlikely to confuse them given that the latter is already familiar to them, it got pretty jarring to me when reading. Maybe Toka? I'd say changing the first letter is enough, as it usually has the most impact.

In Zoka’s dying breaths, the Zoroark leaned in close, then lifted his mask.

Alright, so, a couple of things here. I don't really see what the point of a Zoroark, an Illusion Fox Pokemon, wearing a mask (which only covers the face anyway), especially when it seems like Zoroarks are pretty rare and so likely the only one residents have ever heard of (and definitely the one they know the best) is Arthus, which would make them assume it's him regardless of any mask or lack thereof.

Also, right here the mystery Zoroark lifts his mask, when Zoka Turtonator already seems to know him (as he called him a traitor). I guess it could be a "my face will be the last thing you see" kind of thing, but if the mask was for hiding his identity from the others, it seems a bit risky.

The two Mincinno ran over and tugged on Lawrence’s arms, with the elder one exclaiming, “Come on, it’ll be fun!””

Last double quote is repeated.

You helped everyone get out of the town while that Zoroark killed all the Guild Pokemon, including their captain, Zoka Turtonator.” She laughed weakly. “I guess Arceus always provides a way, huh?”

I, Arceus, creator of Equivos, declare that all Life is precious unto me, and that all who possess it must respect it in all ways to return to the Tree of Life.

The morality of Arceist Pokemon seems a bit weird. According to Arceus, all life is precious, but Cassia is elated to find out the Guild Pokemon have all died and even credits it to Arceus. If all life is precious, wouldn't this be at least a little bit of a tragedy? I mean, if these Pokemon are either mind-controlled/influenced or completely sane, then it would seem completely possible for them to be reformed and converted. After that, they wouldn't be considered enemies anymore, would they?

I know they're fighting for the greater good and saving innocent Pokemon, but all life is all life. Perhaps Cassia could at least wish them a peaceful afterlife or something? Otherwise, it kind of makes the passage seems like "all Life is precious unless they're infidels", which in real life has contributed to a lot of bloodshed nowadays frowned upon.

Today I’m here to tell you about a Legend that the Guild’s today try to hide from you

Incorrect apostrophe.

He picked up Cassia and burst into the air, rocketing toward Lawrence

This sentence lacks a period.

“Is he related to Arthus?” Lawrence asked, catching up to her.

Cassia bristled, increasing her pace.

“Yes.”

Cassia too seems to know who the mysterious Zoroark is... Is the mask perhaps a way to instead make him more recognizable?

Conclusion

Like last time, I think the description and flow of narrative are still generally commendable. There were things that rubbed me the wrong way, but I was still entertained like before.

If you have any questions or clarifications, feel free to let me know. See ya.

 

[lucarioknight56]

@canisaries

I'll get started on the recommended changes. On the mask, I assure you, the reason for it will become clear. I won't say anything else.

As for the morals of the Arceists, I plan on going to detail on this in Chapter Eight, as you helped remind me of that. For now, though, I will say it comes down not just the sanctity of life, but also the protection of it. Pokemon who are not necessarily part of the Arceists can still hold similar beliefs, but on the other side, Pokemon part of them may act similar to the stereotypical Guild Pokemon. All life should be respected, yes, but if there are others who persecute it (IE: The Guild Pokemon afflicting the town Pokemon), then the Arceists should try and help them by any means possible--even if it means death.

Oh, and on Cassia's actions, there is a reason why she was willing to leave Gregor Simisear--I just don't want to say why...yet. Just keep reading, and you'll find out.

Edit: Reread the section on the 'all life is precious', and I'll try and follow your suggestion for the change to the text. I just want to keep the general message, you know?

2nd Edit: Arthus was always a dramatic guy, but his emotions became more...passionate, after his two-thousand year stay in the Cocoon of Destruction.

 

[diamondpearl876]

Melinda brushed back her hair and continued. “In other news, Valence Tech has announced a brand-new program, which they have labelled ‘Project Babel’. Experts speculate that it may refer to a language translation feature for their Pokedex 2.0 devices. Until more comes out involving their latest service, we are left with that.”

I like the worldbuilding here with the pokedex. It seems like an important device that'll be used in the long run - which was proven to me when it gets time for Lawrence to be turned into a pokemon and the only item that made it through the wormhole with him was his pokedex. It's clear he relies on it, and now that his life's been turned upside down essentially, that bit of familiarity from his human life should help him moving forward.

“You help out a sailor with a Chatot’s mood swings once, and they love you for life. How did he find me exactly?”

I lol'd. In general, the dialogue in this chapter is some of the strongest I've seen from you.

Hanson’s gentleness returned as he sat on a chair. “I’ve done some extensive research on you, and you’re the best choice. Most everyone I work with is a city slicker, having no experience with the great outdoors. Those that have had some fresh air tend to be…” He tapped his chin for a moment. “…stupid. They are unsuited for research work like what you do, considering your extensive time studying Pokemon on Mount Coronet.” He opened a portfolio on the desk, flipping through the papers inside. “Let’s see… ‘accomplished survivalist Lawrence Stephenson completes study of Pokemon indigenous to Mount Coronet of the Sinnoh region. Two years previously, he earned his wilderness guide license after living off the land for over a week.” Hanson chuckled. “A hardened veteran of the wild, at such a young age! What ever made you want to come here?”

I agree there is a lot in this chapter, with the main thing missing being a transition from the time Lawrence finds out about this stuff to the time he goes into the wormhole. I don't get any ominous vibes from Hanson, so I was surprised when I found out they didn't actually test the wormhole. Seems pretty illegal to just... send Lawrence in there without imparting that information beforehand or making better preparations.

To clarify, Lawrence agreeing to only two hours of preparation for himself is fine, given the limited information he has. It's the two horus on Hanson's part that doesn't hold up for me.

“Can we eat ‘im?”

“Only if he tries to eat us first.”

Lol, this is one way to show us the difference between the human world and the pokemon world. Works for me.

He looked around, searching for the box that should have been sent with him. “Um...would you know where I can find a little box? I...travelled here with it, and I’m not sure where it went.”

Yeah, see, more preparation narration would've made this feel a lot less like you sped up the process for the sake of plot. If preparations were made and Lawrence still didn't get his supplies through with him, that'd have worked better, I think.

Lawrence scratched back of his head, looking up casually. “Yeah, well…I can’t remember anything. I must’ve hit my head pretty bad when I fell outta that tree.”

Cassia hesitantly stepped closer. “How come you didn’t tell me before?”

“I thought I could remember on my own, but that didn’t work,” Lawrence replied. His heart beat rapidly. He wasn’t used to lying like this, but he knew he needed to for Cassia’s help.

Ohhh, interesting twist on the lost memories thing from PMD plots. I wonder how long Lawrence will be able to keep up the charade, heh.

Lawrence considered his travelling companions. Cassia seemed nice enough, but her belief in the Arceist Tome unsettled him. He didn’t want to get involved in the spiritual aspect of Equivos, if there was one. Besides, how could he treat them the same as a person? He knew that the Arceists’ beliefs were wrong, and he refused to change to such a way again.

Another interesting spin... Since religion does seem an important factor to the series, this is a natural way to weave that into Lawrence's character and into the overall theme. In general, you weave a lot of the worldbuilding in very naturally.

Grom thudded forward and pointed ahead. “Gro-o-om.”

Golurk does indeed strike me as a 'mon that would just say his name over and over. XD I guess it's a quirk that can even exist inside the Pokemon world, despite the language stuff being similar to the human world's in this story. I like it.

 

[lucarioknight56]

Chapter 06: Mythos

The trees, devoid of leaves and covered with webs, seemed to creep toward Lawrence as he followed Cassia through the haunted woods, moving hastily to avoid their pursuer. Silence dominated the air; no wind, no rustle of branches--nothing except the padding and stomping of footsteps. Dark shapes danced behind the trees, occasionally moaning and making puffs of purple light. Cobwebs shook when they drew near, vibrating with the same energy as what belonged to the natives.

Grom swiveled his head, studying the trees around him. “Gro-grom…”

Cassia nodded, brushing past a tree covered with black goo. “I feel it too. There’s an awful lot of Life energy around here.”

“What’s so special about this Life anyway? I hear you talk about it, but I don’t really understand what it is,” Lawrence said.

“Life is what makes us all live, to put it simply. It’s the energy behind why our hearts beat, why our minds think. Without it, you’re dead.” Cassia studied her hands. “No one knows what it really is. It is a powerful energy, and many have tried to find uses for it.” She closed her hands. “Unfortunately, there’s only two sources: from the living and from the dead. Life energy doesn’t just disappear when someone dies; it remains in the ground, waiting to be claimed by a Ghost.”

“So, that’s how Ghosts come about? From this excess Life energy?”

“Yes, and the shadow of their former life.” She shook her head. “Anyway, up until two-thousand years ago, only Ghosts were thought to use Life energy, but even then, their use was limited; for them, it’s food and little else, with occasionally powering something with it.” She drew away from a sickly tree littered with dark holes. “It wasn’t until Arthus that anyone could really use it.”

“How come? Zoroark don’t naturally have the ability, right?”

“It’s never really been revealed, and the Tome doesn’t go into his life. There’s an old legend that a dark prophet named Gregorius gave Arthus a blade capable of giving this control, but it never mentions how.”

“You said that that Zoroark from Barash was related to Arthus. Did he inherit this control over Life?” Lawrence thought the red light that Zoroark used was remarkably similar to the energy that Arthus used in his last visitation. Considering its destructive power, no wonder Arthus was imprisoned.

Cassia nodded, looking around her suspiciously. “Yes. It’s proven useful in stopping those Guild Pokémon, that way I can go in and teach about Arceus.” She slowed, waiting for Grom. “I don’t like the feel of this place. Let’s get through as fast as we can, so we can avoid whatever lives here.” She turned to Lawrence. “Let’s not talk anymore until we get through. Something might already be following us.

Shapes scrabbled through the trees, red wisps of light in their wake. A light-hearted cackle erupted from the ground, then faded as a purple shape flitted to the background. Dead branches and leaves lay underfoot, crunching with every step.

Lawrence bristled, feeling watched. He felt vulnerable at his core, where he felt a strange, burning sensation, as if he was reacting to whatever may be in the air.

‘Is that Life? Can I sense it like Cassia can?’ Lawrence felt that that had to be the case. ‘Probably because I’m a Lucario…can I sense Aura then?’

He blinked. ‘Is there a connection between them?’ Based on studies—which were theoretical at best—he knew that it was based on relationships with individuals, growing stronger based on the intensity of the strongest one. It wasn’t exact, but it at least explained why it can’t be manipulated by Riolu until they evolved through friendship.

He felt his arm flare up in pain, causing him to grab it and seethe. The burns were healing thanks to the Rawst berries, but their healing juices stung just the same. ‘Even if I wanted to fight, I’m at an immediate disadvantage.’

A flash of green whizzed past him, disappearing into the fog. More green shapes flitted over them, and a red hovered faster than the rest. All moved in to the right, in what appeared to be an empty section of the woods.

“Hawm. Grr,” Grom stated, pounding his fists.

Cassia nodded, adjusting the bag over her shoulder. “You’re right; those don’t look like Ghosts.”

A high-pitched scream echoed through the air, suddenly cut off by a distinct hum. The Ghosts that lurked in the woods suddenly quieted, alerted by a new spill of Life.

Lawrence’s paws trembled, and his eyes narrowed toward the direction of the scream. “Someone got hurt.”

Cassia’s lip pursed, and she took a step forward. Her eyes went wide, and she looked to Lawrence. “You’re hurt. You can’t do much against whoever did that. Let Grom take care of it.” Grom nodded, then broke into a trot, throbbing the ground around him with his sluggish gait.

Lawrence shook his head, stretching his limbs. “He won’t be fast enough, even if he flies; you saw how fast those Pokémon were. I can take care of them before Grom gets there.” He stretched his legs briefly, ignored the burning sensation of healing skin, then ran toward the scream, nearly limping on his right leg.

“Lawrence, wait!” Cassia called, reaching toward him. She soon lowered her arm and sighed, the Lucario too far away to listen.

Lawrence ran ahead of Grom with no effort. Branches and leaves cracked underneath his feet, surely alerting the attackers just ahead. He didn’t care.

He stopped at the fringe of a small glade, clutching a wrapped portion of his leg. Between suppressed grunts of pain, he saw a group of battered Scyther band behind a Scizor with an eye missing, marching toward a trio of Buneary huddling behind a Lopunny with a large cut across her chest.

“You’re gonna give us all the gold ya got, and any food too! We don’t wanna hurt ya!” the Scizor warned, clapping his claws in front of the Buneary.

The tallest of them exclaimed, “We don’t have any! We were going to town to find a job!”

The Scyther surrounding the Scizor chittered angrily, with one stepping closer and exclaiming, “No food or gold? Yore mum must’ve been mad!”

The Scizor bludgeoned him back and roared, “I’m the one doin’ the talkin’ ‘ere! Get back in line!” His wings flitted spontaneously, and he turned back to the Buneary. “I’m gonna ask you one more time: give us your goods, or y’all gonna die for wastin’ our time!”

“We told you, we don’t have any!” the younger brother exclaimed.

The Scizor clamped the smallest Buneary’s ear, lifting her above her siblings. He held her out to a Scyther, who held back his blades. “I’m gonna chop her little ears off at the count a’ three unless ya cough up! One.” The Scyther raised a blade. “Two.” He reared back.

“No!”

Lawrence leapt past the trees and landed behind the Scyther, then punched him across the head, sending him to the ground. He whirled around and punched another in the chest, causing him to stagger back in surprise.

He reached back to punch one more time, but doubled over, clutching the bandage around his chest. Pain screamed throughout his body, demanding for him to stop.

A Scyther zipped over and batted Lawrence away with the flat of his blade. He collapsed on the ground, and all present gasped as his illusion failed.

The Scizor soon laughed, dropping the Buneary and allowing her to return to her brother and sister. “Well now, look what we have here! A Lucario who thought he was tough enough to handle us, the Butcher Squadron!” He reached down and clamped Lawrence’s ears, pulling him up to eye level. “We work with the Guild as assassins for ole Gardner. We don’t handle jobs like this, but I’m sure he’d give us a nice bonus if we bring ya to him!” He grabbed his tail and exclaimed, “Hey Johnny, let’s make ourselves a little souvenir from his tail!”

A Scyther with nicks in his blades raised one and chuckled maliciously. The Buneary looked on in horror, while Lawrence braced for the consequences of his rash mistake.

Johnny abruptly stopped, then fell over without another sound. The shouts and jeers of the Butcher Squadron halted.

Another Scyther leaned over Johnny, then exclaimed, “Somethin’ knocked him cold!” Immediately after, he froze and fell on top of Johnny.

One by one, the other Scyther fell by this mysterious hand. They swiped blindly in the air, grazing Lawrence’s fur and their teammates wings in the process. All but the Scizor fell unconscious.

The Scizor let go of Lawrence and fumed. “Come out and fight, ya coward! I know who ya really are!” He lurched backward and slammed into a tree, looking around wildly for the mysterious force that grabbed his neck.

In a shimmer, a white-masked Zoroark appeared, holding the Scizor up with one hand, and holding the other outward. In a deep, warping voice, he stated, “Wounded Lucario and widowed Lopunny are prime targets for Arthus’ assassins, hmm?” The Scizor raised a trembling claw, reaching for the Zoroark’s arm.

The Zoroark swiftly grabbed it and pierced the shell with his claws. Amidst the Scizor’s groans of pain, the Zoroark said, “The Usurper must have lost more of his sanity to have you be assassins.” He studied the arm he held, snorting. “You don’t have a Guild band. You’re just common thieves, picking away at those worse off than you.” The blackened eyes of the mask flared up with red light. “It is thanks to Pokémon like you that Arthus returned.” Cracks of crimson light flowed from the Scizor’s shell and into the Zoroark’s claws.

Gasping, the Scizor collapsed, wheezing and clutching at his chest. He drew his limbs closer, shivering, seemingly devoid of heat. His wings fluttered weakly, and he whispered to himself, conceiving how this could have happened.

The crimson in the Zoroark’s eyes faded. He approached the Buneary siblings, who pressed against a tree, hugging each other and trembling.

The Zoroark made a slight smile. “I’m not here to hurt you. Only those,” He gestured to the muttering Scizor, “that harm others for no reason.” He pointed to the sky, where Grom briefly zoomed overhead. “That black Golurk carries a priestess with him. Follow him, and she will take care of you.” The Buneary settled, now looking up hopefully at the Zoroark.

He turned to Lawrence, then grabbed his arm and pulled him up. He pressed a hand against his chest, and his eyes glowed red once more. “You are a brave Lucario, if a rash one. You have helped those in need, and in return, I will heal your wounds.” Lawrence felt vibrations radiate through his body, focusing on the burned portions. Red veins coursed from the Zoroark’s claws to the bandages, soothing the skin and restoring its vitality.

He stepped away, his mask dimming. Lawrence pulled away the bandages and found that no evidence remained that burns were there.

He looked up. “What’s your name?”

The Zoroark stepped away, adjusting his mask. “You may call me…Aleron.” He smiled once more, then faded in a shimmer. Lawrence and the Buneary looked around wildly for Aleron, but just as he came, there were no signs.

Lawrence stepped toward the Lopunny. She no longer breathed. ‘Who’ll take care of her Buneary now?’ he thought.

The oldest Buneary sniffed, tearing up. “Momma…” Her brother and sister followed suit, weeping over their dead mother.

Aleron’s words rang in Lawrence’s mind. He ushered the Buneary away from the Lopunny and said, “Come on; let’s go to Cassia.” He remembered Grom’s direction, and, with Cassia’s help, hoped to assist the orphans.

The Buneary obeyed and shuffled behind Lawrence as he headed toward Cassia. ‘I wish I could give the Lopunny a proper burial…but her Buneary have to be brought somewhere safe first,’ he thought.

Low moans came from behind the trees, and Lawrence realized that they came from tiny Phantump, their whiny faces full of sympathy for the life recently lost. Several floated toward where they came from—presumably to take the Life just spilled—while others floated ahead of them, bobbing in the air and leaving wispy trails of black mist behind them.

The dark and gloomy atmosphere of the dead forest gave way to a lush and green glade, filled with bushes full of berries and dozens of Phantump floating throughout, eeping constantly. Cassia sat on a stump with the Tome in her arms, and Grom towered over her with his hands at his sides. Behind them, a decaying-yet-stable hut with dozens of Phantump surrounding it stood, creaking with each touch on its dilapidated frame.

A Phantump squeezed through a hole in the roof, then rushed toward Cassia. It hovered around her, wailing as it went. She laughed, stopping it gently. “There’s no need to be afraid. I follow Arceus.”

The Phantump’s face remained unchanged. It whisked off behind Lawrence and the Buneary, retreating to the dark reaches.

Cassia opened the pages of the Tome, then motioned for them to come closer. “Grom told me what happened.” She made a sympathetic smile. “Let me comfort you.” She traced her finger on the pages as the Buneary drew near.

Compassion 5-

[A message to Clorina Arcanine for the loss of her husband]

The Creator understands all pain. Just as his many arms create blessings for his creations, he in turn realizes their feelings, and sorrows with them.

All of this is to comfort them further, for none know better how to care than those who have suffered the same as yourself.

She reached down to the oldest Buneary and lifted her head. Tears stained her fur. “I promise you that Arceus knows what you are going through.” She looked away and closed her eyes. “I lost my mother when I was little. I don’t remember her well, but I know that she loved me, and would want me to stay strong.”

She removed her hand and gestured to the hut. “This house used to be the home of Laryon Lucario and his aunt, Azure. It is old, and needs repaired, but I’m sure that it would be a lovely place to live.”

“But what about the Ghosts? They’ll scare us!” the little brother Buneary exclaimed.

“My children told me your plight.”

They all looked above the house and froze. Towering above the ancient structure, dwarfing Grom and the trees of the forest, stood a giant Trevenant, bare-branched and covered with moss. His limbs stretched outward and his mouth hanged open, the single eye stared at them heavily.

Creaking, the Trevenant moved his arm in front of him, and Phantump swarmed around it, wishing to have the gaseous scarlet mist emanating from it. “I am the Ancient. I am the first of the Ghosts, the Lifefeeders. From Arceus’ strength I gather mine, expanding my domain, the Revenant Forest, to protect Life from those who wish ill.” He shifted his gaze to the Buneary, then to the house.

He pointed at the house, and Phantump wildly swirled into it, bringing branches, stumps, leaves—all sorts of discarded remnants of wood. “Your loss is great, children of Arceus. I had no bringer but Arceus, yet I sorrow for you still.” He closed his eye. “My children will bring the home of the ancient Guardian to its former glory, and you shall be under my guardianship until the day you become Lifefeeders yourselves.” He opened his eye, and his mouth extended to a lopsided grin. “You will have nothing to fear as long as you remain in my domain. Those under my protection will provide for and protect you until their Life runs dry.”

A Phantump separated from the core group and ran into the Buneary, whirling around their heads and wailing cheerfully. The Buneary gradually smiled, laughing when more Phantump encircled them.

Grom lowered his gaze, kneeling before the almighty Ancient. “Gro…grawm…”

The Ancient nodded, lowering an arm and enclosing Grom with his hand. “You have been changed, child. A dark force corrupted you, yet here you stand, serving a Teacher of Arceus.” He fingered the gap in Grom’s head. “Your memories from your past have been taken, and your speech as well.” The Ancient sighed, lifting his hand. “I have not the power to restore either. Your missing self lies in the hands of another, waiting to be reunited. Be warned: while your speech would return with the joining, so would your memories. Your previous master will have control over you once more, and only your current master could bring you back to Arceus’ light.” Grom looked up and made a shuddering groan, nodding.

He turned to Cassia, pointing at the Tome. “You carry one of the last books of Arceus. Only through you can Arceus complete his great work.” He began to hum, a purple light emanating from his eye. Dozens of Phantump swirled from the wood and encircled his head, creating a purple ring around the Ancient.

The Ancient’s eye shifted to Lawrence. It lowered with a growl.

“A Keeper once was,

But now he becomes

A treader of realms

And deceiver of self.

The truth once held

Must take once more

In order for the Keeper

To be awakened for war.

Awaken Aleron

As well as the Keeper

And Equivos may be

Reborn to live on.

A price of mind

Must fully be paid,

Or the Realm of the Keeper

Will forever make slaves.”

The Phantump stopped their dance, returning to the darkness of the wood. The Ancient shook, his limbs extending outward. “I must restore my Life, to protect my children. Heed my words, for they come from Arceus himself. Do so, and the children of Arceus may be saved.” The eye’s glare faded to a dim glow, then extinguished. The Trevenant, the tallest of the Revenant Wood, made a sickening groan, then fell still.

Cassia stood open-mouthed, then hurriedly pulled out her sketchbook. “I have to write this down!” She scribbled inside with a charcoal pencil, leaving Lawrence to think to himself.

He furrowed his brow in thought. ‘What did the Ancient mean by those words? I used to be a Keeper? Why do I have to awaken Aleron, the Zoroark? Did he mean someone else? What was this price of mind? What war do I have to fight?’

He held his head and moaned. ‘With this, it almost seems like I was meant to come here. Is he even right?’ He looked up briefly and sighed. ‘There’s really no point in him lying…’

He lifted his head the same time Cassia lifted hers. “I wrote what he said down, to make sure we won’t forget,” she said. She watched the Buneary run into the home, cheering on the racing Phantump and quickly forgetting their troubles. “I’m glad we went here. Those Pokémon going to Saunte were a blessing in disguise.”

Lawrence nodded, crossing his arms. “Does the name ‘Aleron’ mean anything to you?”

Cassia looked up thoughtfully. “Well...I know that it’s the name that Zoroark takes, but there is something more significant behind it.” She opened the Tome to the front page, showing an elaborate symbol signed with an ornate signature: Aleron.

“He was the compiler of the Arceist Tome. The books within are accounts from various time periods, and they used to be scattered across Serenita. Aleron took them and brought them together, then copied them all so that everyone could read them.” She traced her finger across the spidery signature. “He kept himself hidden after it was published. No one knows where he is, or even what species he is. All that is known is that he wrote many passages in the Tome and made it accessible to everyone.” She sighed, closing the cover and pulling her sketchbook onto her lap. “I would have loved to meet him though. The Tome was published over two-hundred years ago now; he must’ve passed away where no one would find him.”

Lawrence thought about her words. ‘Maybe the Ancient Trevenant wanted me to bring Aleron back from the dead?’ He shook his head in disbelief. ‘But how, and why?’

He watched Cassia stare at the dormant Trevenant, with Phantump floating around and Buneary chasing them. She held up her charcoal and said, “I don’t want to forget this.” She began sketching in her pad, drawing the Trevenant, the house, and all the other Pokémon with great detail.

Lawrence continued to consider the the Trevenant’s words. ‘Who was this Keeper that the Ancient referred to, and what did he mean by “treader of realms and deceiver of self”? Who were they? Who were any of them?’

He groaned. ‘There’s just too many questions. Does it matter anyway?’ He closed his eyes, resting his head on his paw. ‘I want to leave Equivos, so will his words even matter? Do I have to be part of this ‘war’?’

His attention shifted to Grom, who held out his arms and emitted a wispy red mist, chuckling. Phantump surrounded him, then fought over his arms, packing in tightly to absorb the Life leaking from the Golurk. So many crammed under and above him that he began to float upward.

He rose several feet in the air, then the red mist abruptly dissipated. The Phantump all made a wail of confusion, then flew away from Grom. He hovered in the air for a moment, then dropped.

Earth flew into the air around the point of impact, shaking so much that Lawrence fell off his seat. The Buneary and the Phantump did not even notice Grom’s booming laughter or the red sparks jumping from his head.

Cassia looked over to him and clicked her tongue. “I’m trying to draw something, Grom! Try not to shake things up so much.”

Grom nodded, then proceeded to chase Phantump alongside the Buneary, his fingers touching their wispy tails.

Lawrence’s train of thought went to Grom and the Ancient’s brief words with him. ‘Is Grom’s appearance and what the Trevenant said about his corruption linked with his old master? Who was he?’

“And…done!” Cassia exclaimed. She held her sketchbook in front of Lawrence. “What do you think?”

Lawrence gaped at the picture. The Trevenant and the woods surrounding him appeared exactly as they did in reality, while the shambled shack looked pristine and new, ready for three little Buneary to live inside. Grom and herself stood together to the three Buneary’s right, while Lawrence stood to their left, standing over them protectively.

“It…looks amazing! I don’t think I’ve seen anything so great!” Lawrence replied. He was about to say something more, but noticed something strange: a vague, erased outline around Cassia. “What happened here?”

Cassia looked at it and frowned. “Oh, it was just something else. No need to worry about it; I can fix it.” She took a bit of clay from her bag and rubbed at the smudges, her fingers shaking.

Lawrence slid closer, staring at her trembling fingers. “Is everything alright?”

Cassia drew away and brought the book to her chest. “I’m fine! Never been better!” She turned away and walked to Grom, busily wearing away the smudges on the paper.

Lawrence frowned and took a stick from the ground. He traced in the coarse dirt the shape he remembered from the picture. He dropped the stick and peered at the drawing for details. It almost looked like—

“Gro-graawawm!”

Lawrence’s head shot up at Grom’s call. He saw Cassia standing next to him, holding the bag around her tightly.

“We need to get going! We don’t want to lead those Pokémon here!” Cassia exclaimed.

Lawrence nodded and left the drawing. He felt sure that it was unimportant anyway.

He caught up with Cassia, continuing to walk as they crossed by the Ancient Trevenant. Cassia turned to him with a smile. “Do you remember anything yet? About where you came from, or what that box is?”

Lawrence’s paw subconsciously covered the Pokédex. “No…nothing yet.” As she turned back around, he lowered his paw. ‘She’s been honest with me so far…mostly. Maybe I should do the same…just to show that she can trust me.’

He looked down at his paws. ‘No….I can’t. She’s never even heard of a human before. She’d leave as soon as he told her.’ He pressed onward, shoving aside his guilt.

‘It’s better for her not to know.’

~~~~

Inky blackness surrounded Arthus on all sides, with spidery lines of crimson light spreading across the emptiness. He travelled through one such line, zooming from a pinprick of light to another in the massive web. Interconnected between all the dots, the lines all centered on a massive red orb, pumping like a massive heart to the spidery cracks, above, below, and around.

Arthus travelled along the channels of Life, darting his head at each point. “Let’s see, over there’s the Xilo Mountains, the Kreon Abyss…there!” He centered on a particularly large point, flying through the wisps of Life that lay beneath the soil of Equivos.

Around the outskirts of Saunte, a plot of soil plumed outward. A crimson tendril erupted from it, emanating red mist, then sank back beneath the ground, depositing Arthus. He had a satchel over his shoulder, filled with food and supplies for his hunt.

He studied his surroundings, his eyes landing on Saunte. He shuddered, turning away. ‘My birthplace…as horrible as ever.’ He shook himself briefly, then fell on all-fours, carefully inspecting the ground. He set a claw against the side of his head, and his blue eyes glowed red. He saw numerous trails of red footprints, all different sizes and shapes: The Life trails of the Pokemon who had entered or left Saunte.

He crossed over the dimmest ones for their age and continued around the perimeter. After searching for an hour, he finally saw two sets of footprints entering the city. “One Lucario…and one, Cassia.”

He stood up briefly and looked up. “Valder had said that Cassia had disappeared, and that Grom had knocked him down. I’d imagine that he helped fly them out when they were spotted.” He closed his eyes and twisted a length of his mane. “But where? Where would they go?” He thought of his mental map of Serenita, remembering locations Cassia was previously. “Not Respit—thank goodness—not Cambeta, not the swamps…”

He heard a high-pitched ringing and groaned, twisting his arm in the air and causing a red-and-black banded gem to appear in his claws. He stared at it and growled, “I’m in the middle of tracking Cassia since your stooge couldn’t be bothered to find them, so this had better be important!”

The silhouette of a Dusknoir appeared inside the gem, formed by the black bands. “Lord Arthus,” Gardner’s crackling voice said, “I’ve found more information about Hoopa. Apparently, his ability to grant wishes is based on his location. Depending on where he is, he can take the attributes of certain Legends. If he’s in deep seas, he can imitate Kyogre, or if in stormy weather, a being like Zekrom. For him to copy someone like Arceus—whose powers would arguably be necessary here—you need to find a place that has his presence and summon Hoopa there.”

Arthus muttered to himself, then said, “Nowhere comes to mind at the moment. You go ahead and keep searching; I’ll focus on hunting Cassia and the Lucario.” He crushed the gem and bared his teeth, smacking ah and against his forehead. “There must be some clue!” He froze. He lifted his head and smiled. “That’s right: the strange creature, Lawrence. If I remember right, he was near a deposit in the desert. He had memories of Cassia and Grom. If I go there, I should be able to find another clue.” He slammed a fist into the ground and caused several tendrils to surround him and drag him into the ground. A streak of crimson light coursed toward the Iren Desert—where Lawrence and Cassia had only just left.

 

[canisaries]

Oh, a new chapter already? I guess I must have read wrong somewhere, I didn't expect a new one in a whole week. Nevertheless, let's dive into chapter 6.

The trees, devoid of leaves and covered with webs, seemed to creep toward Lawrence as he followed Cassia through the haunted woods. Silence dominated the air; no wind, no rustle of branches--nothing except the padding and stomping of footsteps.

Dark shapes danced behind the trees, occasionally moaning and making puffs of purple light. Cobwebs shook when they drew near, vibrating with the same energy as what belonged to the natives.

As usual, nicely done tone-setting description starts us off.

Dead branches and leaves lay underfoot, devoid of greenery.

Normally I'm not one to badger anyone on repetitiveness, but "devoid of" isn't the most common expression, so when it's used again so soon, it kind of sticks out.

Lawrence bristled, feeling watched. The Ghosts that lurked around them caused his fur to rise on end.

"Bristle" does already mean fur rising on end, so these two sentences feel like they're saying the same thing.

The entire thought of Pokemon being like humans still disturbed him. Even with all the evidence in Equivos pointing to that, he still found it hard to accept. Doing that might be admitting that the Pokemon in his world were more similar to them than he thought--a core trait of Arceism.

It's good that this theme is present instead of being forgotten about and then drawn out when it gets relevant, but I think this might be mentioned a few too many times now. I'd say one reminding sentence amidst others would be enough at this point, a paragraph is a bit too much.

Lawrence ran ahead of Grom with no effort. Branches and leaves cracked underneath his feet, alerting the attackers just ahead. He didn’t care; life was life, no matter whose it was, and he needed to catch the killers to make sure they don’t take another.

Eh... there's still the problem of not being as concerned for all life, but I suppose after skimming through the edits made in the previous chapter it makes decent sense.

The Scizor bludgeoned him back and roared, “I’m the one doin’ the talkin’ ‘ere! Get back in line!” His wings flitted spontaneously, and he turned back to the Buneary. “I’m gonna ask you one more time: give us yore goods, or ya’ll gonna die for wastin’ our time!”

This is definitely a nitpick, but why do only the bad guys ever have accents?

The Zoroark made a slight smile. “I’m not here to hurt you. Only those,” He gestured to deceased Scyther. “That harm others for no reason.”

Provided that "only those that harm others for no reason" is one sentence, there should be a comma in place of a period after "Scyther" and "that" shouldn't be capitalized.

She looked away and closed her eyes. “I lost my mother when I was a little Ralts. I don’t remember them well, but I know that they loved me, and would want me to stay strong.”

Did you mean "parents", or did Cassia's mother use they-pronouns?

“But what about the Ghosts! They’ll scare us!”

Think the first sentence should end in a question mark instead? The shouting is already implied in the latter, and it is a question.

stood a giant Trevenant, devoid of leaves and covered with moss.

Okay, at this point, definitely repetitive. Using alternating expressions like "with no leaves", "lacking leaves", "bare-branched", "leafless" and so on would be much better.

“You will have nothing to fear as long as you remain in my wood.

ppffttaaahahahha ok i'm sorry go on

And Equivos may

Rebirth to live on.

English isn't my first language, but this sounds weird to me. Maybe "Equivos may be reborn to live on"? Using "birth" as a verb is "informal" according to my google search, and even then it means "to give birth", not "be born". I suppose you could also use "re-emerge" or something in that vein.

Or the Realm of the Keeper

Will forever make slaves.”

Okay, so provided I didn't interpret this wrong, this is about humans keeping Pokemon. But those Pokemon still aren't sentient and seem to be much closer to the wild Pokemon of Equivos, which have been harvested for leather there. Wearing leather is commonplace, and even done by a former Guildmaster Lucario. Isn't it wrong according to Arceus' teachings?

He was the compiler of the Arceist Tome.

And here I thought religious texts were interpreted!

*painful silence as the majority does not get the joke and the minority does not find it funny*

He held his head and moaned.

He held his head and groaned.

Pretty fittingly, I have to repeat myself about the repetition now.

Inky blackness surrounded Arthus on all sides, with spidery lines of crimson light spreading across the emptiness. He travelled through one such line, zooming from a pinprick of light to another in the massive web. Interconnected between all the dots, the lines all centered on a massive red orb, pumping like a massive heart to the spidery cracks, above, below, and around.

Arthus travelled along the channels of Life, darting his head at each point. “Let’s see, over there’s the Xilo Mountains, the Kreon Abyss…aha, the Guild!” He centered on a particularly large point, flying through the wisps of Life that lay beneath the soil of Equivos.

Oh, I like this. Interesting to see visualization for how Arthus connects to the land and the Life in it. That, and I'm always a sucker for visceral imagery.

General comments

There's one issue I'd like to address, one that's been a thing pretty much the entire fic. You've probably noticed too how the Pokemon in this fic are pretty typecasted. The bad guys always tend to be bigger, scarier and/or uglier mon, like Dusknoir and Galvantula. The innocent bystanders who are saved always seem to be cute, fluffy and anthropomorphized, like Buneary and Minccino. While it would naturally turn this way to some extent, a theme in your story is that you should look beneath the skin (Lawrence learning to respect Pokemon and Arceists). The species choices for characters don't really reflect this.

It's true that Grom is a scary black-and-red giant who talks with growls, but it's not really all that shocking to have him be a good guy - the "gentle giant" trope has been used a lot of times and people are very familiar with it by now.

While you do have a Zoroark as an ally character, it's still a very human-looking Pokemon and not to mention, very cool. It's something that's easy to empathize with from a reader perspective.

To shake things up, I think it'd be great if you could swap the roles around a bit: have some obscure, kind of ugly mon be saved and treated like any cuddly wuddly Pichu. Like Magneton or Tangela. When's the last time you thought about Tangela? Probably pretty long ago. But it still exists just as much as all the other 800ish Pokemon do.

Then there are also lots of powerful Pokemon that look cute, but pack a lot of punch (remember that fairies are SE against dragons). Why not have a Sylveon as a minor antagonist? A Miltank? A Beautifly? People love it when their expectations are subverted. And when you have some less pretty Pokemon be respected just as much as the popular ones, you strengthen the message of Arceus, that all life is precious. Not just the pretty life.

Alright, to end on a positive:

Despite my criticisms of parts in the giant Trevenant scene, I did like it a lot. The idea of a giant, sentient guardian tree has been used many times, but I have not seen a tree Pokemon used like that before, so it felt a bit different. Though it does kind of make you wonder what that geezer was doing when the Lopunny was dying.

As always, feel free to ask anything about this review. See ya.

 

[lucarioknight56]

@canisaries
To be clear, I said last week that I'd be posting a chapter to make up for the lack of PMDLA being posted, so that's why there's one this week. I am considering posting weekly, as I'm currently working on the chapters at a faster pace, but do you think that that would be too often?

Anyways, I'll get to work on the repetitive narration and such; I don't feel this was the best chapter for that reason, but hopefully after the changes it will be better.

As for the prophecy portion, the odd language is personal, poetic license really. I don't prefer it myself, but I wanted to keep a rhythm in the message.

I won't necessarily say what the prophecies mean at this point, but I will say you're not quite there on the meaning. As for Arceus' teachings, all life is precious, yes, but as stated before, if it is taken in the protection of others, it is allowed. In terms of the leather, I may consider editing that out,, but I'm not sure what would make a suitable replacement for things like the bags Pokemon use or Matheus' cloak in the beginning. Otherwise, I can always add a bit of lore that addresses that situation, but nothing comes to mind at the moment.

On the Pokemon choice, I do understand your point. I have generally been using the more ugly Pokemon for the villains and the cuter/cooler Pokemon for the heroes. One can say that the reason so many ugly Pokemon are part of the Guild is because the cuter Pokemon that are generally more prevalent don't respect them, or they had a troubled life because of their appearance, because Pokemon have not been following Arceus' teachings.

Still, it doesn't excuse the fact that we have yet to see cute Pokemon part of the Guild or ugly Pokemon assisting the heroes. I can try incorporating elements of that into Chapter 9 onward, as Chapters 7/8 will most likely not have ideal situations for that sort of thing.

Again, thanks for the suggestions. I am trying to make this the best it can be, as I know I'm not really the perfect writer at the moment.

 

[canisaries]

I won't necessarily say what the prophecies mean at this point, but I will say you're not quite there on the meaning. As for Arceus' teachings, all life is precious, yes, but as stated before, if it is taken in the protection of others, it is allowed. In terms of the leather, I may consider editing that out,, but I'm not sure what would make a suitable replacement for things like the bags Pokemon use or Matheus' cloak in the beginning. Otherwise, I can always add a bit of lore that addresses that situation, but nothing comes to mind at the moment.

Well, I think silk and wool are at least two things that can be harvested humanely. Then there's the option of weaving leaves, straws, vines, tree bark and such into clothing. I'm no herpetologist, but perhaps shed skin of reptiles can be used as material? (Well, Pokemon like Scraggy do kind of do it already.) And what about spider webs? Spider web in real life is actually really sturdy.

Though I also suppose that leather doesn't have to equal murder - it could have been scavenged from carcasses, which have already died from natural causes and have no further need for the tissue. I think it does have to be harvested pretty soon after death, though, before decomposition kicks in, so it wouldn't be that plentiful and perhaps more of a rare and much sought after commodity.

Again, thanks for the suggestions. I am trying to make this the best it can be, as I know I'm not really the perfect writer at the moment.

Any time! No one gets it right the first time, and to be perfectly honest, I don't think anyone gets anything completely right ever. It's a fact that stands true in every form of art, be is visual, musical or literary. What makes a true artist is striving to get better, not just momentary state of quality.

 

[lucarioknight56]

Chapter 07: Contention

Back in the Guild, Gardner now sat inside a room with rows upon rows of tall shelves, each filled with hundreds of books. In the center of the room was a series of low desks, each with a small Litwick stuck in a glass jar, barely illuminating the books. No other Pokemon remained inside, allowing no noise save for the muffled cacophony of the Guild’s activity outside.

Piled around Gardner were other books, each with some reference to Hoopa or the Prison Bottle. As Gardner read from one, the Litwick on his table whispered, “Do I really need to be here? Can’t you just use a regular old candle?”

Gardner glared at him, his scarred eye flashing a cross of piercing white and red. “You Litwick are far safer than any candle, considering you can control your flames. There’s a good reason I wanted you to be here.” He returned to his reading.

The Litwick propped his arms against his sides and muttered, “Guildmaster Calem didn’t think so.”

Gardner gave a cursory glance back. “And Calem is dead, so deal with it.” He read for a moment longer and paused, reading a passage in the book. Giratina’s 22nd Day, 1400 Years After the Usurper; Cryus, Xilo Mountains.” He continued reading, then upon seeing a picture and its caption, his ethereal heart skipped a beat. There, standing with Fire and Ice Pokemon, was a silver Lucario wearing leather clothing holding an intricate bottle aloft.

His hand strayed to the gem on the table, but he yanked it back. “No…no, it’d be best to talk about this when he gets back.” He winced, covering his eye. “He will not be pleased.” He set a strip of paper on the page and closed it, remembering the picture’s caption well:

Matheus Lucario with the residents he saved from an avalanche. He holds Hoopa’s Prison Bottle just before it is hidden.

~~~

On the other side of Serenita, the gnarled and empty trees thinned, and orange and gold leaves dominated the sky. Yellowed grass poked up beneath the fallen leaves, receiving the fading remnants of evening’s light. Luscious red apples hung above them, ready for harvest after a season of growing. Their sweet scent filled the air, their taste longed for by the Pokémon crushing the fallen leaves, the crisp crunch reminding them of the sweet flesh of the fruit.

As he, Cassia and Grom walked along the path, Lawrence’s stomach growled. He chuckled, pointing up to the apples. “Do you think we can grab those for dinner?”

Cassia nodded, looking at Grom. “Would you please?”

Grom reached up, gingerly picking apples and setting them in his palm. After picking a dozen, he held them out to Cassia, who nodded appreciatively, saying, “You’re so nice to have around, Grom!” Grom chuckled, the apples bouncing in his hand.

Cassia gasped, hastily taking the bag off her shoulder. “They’re going to bruise!” She leaned forward, catching them in the sack.

The last apple thumped inside, and Cassia leaned precariously. “Wh-whoa!” With a thud, she landed on her chest, spilling its contents across the trail. Books tumbled, and papers flew, alongside other small articles that bounced on the compacted dirt.

Lawrence leaned down, holding out a paw. “Are you alright?”

Cassia waved away his paw, instead taking Grom’s outstretched hand. “I’m fine.” She brushed herself off, moping. “Can you get my things?”

Lawrence nodded, picking up a collection of books and charcoal sticks. He carefully stashed them in the bag, then checked around the trail for anything else. He noticed a small sack and reached for it. “Just one more thing!”

Cassia’s face dropped, then she rushed toward him. “Wait, no, I’ll—”

He lifted the sack and tested its weight. “What’s in here?” He began to undo the drawstring.

Cassia ripped the sack from Lawrence’s paws and held it to her chest. “That’s private!” She stuffed it back into her bag, shaking.

Lawrence gave her a suspicious look, narrowing his eyes. “But why? I mean, I’m sure that—”

“Graw.” Grom stamped in front of Cassia, his eyes flashing as he stared at Lawrence. “Gro-rawm.”

Lawrence backed away, taking the bag and holding it out. “Alright, alright! I get it!” Grom took the bag, and Lawrence turned away, giving Grom a dark look. “Shouldn’t talk about Cassia’s personal life,” he muttered.

Cassia sighed, putting the bag over her shoulder. “It’s alright, I’m just…not ready to talk about it yet.” She turned back to the path. “It’ll be dark soon. We better make camp.”

Lawrence nodded begrudgingly, putting a paw over the Pokédex. “Alright, I’ll just be taking care of some…business, if you know what I mean.”

Cassia cocked her head and looked to the sky for a moment, then cringed when she realized. “Oh…right.” She shooed Lawrence away, exclaiming, “Go take care of it then. I don’t want to know about it.”

Lawrence walked away from Cassia, who took a different direction off the path. “I’m going to need your bag as soon as I’m done with everything here, so don’t take too long!” she added.

Lawrence waved to her absent-mindedly, taking out the Pokédex when he was out of sight. He opened the notebook application, then hastily typed out what had happened in Barash, in the Revenant Forest, and what had just happened with the sack.

He drummed out the words, watching the black text appear on the screen as he focused his thoughts. He thought of the events that had happened yesterday. ‘Now that I think about it, both times I’ve met Aleron have been near where Cassia was. Is there some connection between them? Do they know each other?’

His mind drifted to Grom’s terse reaction toward the leather sack. ‘And what about Grom, being so protective about Cassia, to the point I can’t learn anything about her. Why? It wouldn’t hurt to learn some more about someone I’ve been with for a couple days?’

Then thoughts of Grom’s attitude on the day they escaped from Barash’s Guild Pokémon came back. ‘Maybe it’s because of my ‘amnesia’. He thought it was trick to capture Cassia, and maybe he still doesn’t entirely trust me, so he doesn’t want anything about Cassia being known.’

Lawrence rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. ‘I held off Grom before, and maybe helped my standing with him by helping the Pokémon in Barash. But what else do I need to do? Spill the beans and tell him everything? About Valence and the fact I was human? They’d run faster than a Deerling from Houndour.’

He stopped typing, staring at the words he just created:

I can’t tell Cassia or Grom. They think they can’t trust me until I tell them the truth, but they won’t believe it once they hear it. I’m in a bad spot, one where I can’t learn anything else about the Pokémon I want to know most.

He cringed, swiping out of the notepad and into the dimensional detector. He tapped the button and received the same error: ‘No access point in range.’

He shook, holding the Pokédex tighter. ‘No way home. No way to Unova. No way to an escape from this world. No way to escape from Arceism and its lies. No way to return to a place that he can understand—or at least attempt to. No way to—’

“What are you doing?”

Lawrence froze.

~~~~

Arthus walked through the streets of Barash, considering the burned remains of homes. Collapsed bricks and shattered earthenware littered the streets, along with charred food and ash. Deathly silence hung over the air, a haunting reminder of what happened there.

He stopped at the largest building in the center, where Captain Toka had made his command center—and where the former mayor held counsel. He stepped on top of a shattered wall and entered the room beyond it, finding chests thrown open around a large, stone table.

He passed a hand over the table, closing his hand. “We…we made the Guild here. The charter was signed, and he…he was made Guildmaster.” He tightened his fist and slammed it against the table. “Until he left.” He released a shuddering breath, then ran out of the room and into the ruined streets.

A shimmer surrounded him. He gasped, clutching his head. “No...no, not now.” Shimmering light exploded around him, and the city of Barash was bright and filled with energy. Ground and Grass Pokemon filled the streets, passing by various shops and stands. Other Pokemon types from across Equivos came to trade their wares, adding to the bustle of the city. All throughout, there was cooking, trading, and bartering abound—complete peace amidst the chaos.

Arthus twitched, recognizing this place well. “My…my first day here. Why?”

“You doing alright?”

He froze. “No.”

“You look worse than a wet Sudowoodo.”

Arthus slowly turned around, coming face to face with a young Lucario with a wide smile. Despite the simulated warmth, Arthus felt chills down his spine.

The Lucario set a paw on Arthus’ shoulder, leaving no contact. “Don’t be afraid. I’ll always be with you.”

“Always?” a different, younger voice replied.

The Lucario nodded. “Always.” He faded out of existence, and the activity of Barash in the distant past faded with him, leaving the ruined city in its stead.

Arthus breathed haggardly, looking down at his claws. “Always…” He hardened his gaze and clenched his fist. “A ghost that haunts me…traitor.” He sprinted out of the ruins and toward the haunted section of the forest, where Lawrence and Cassia’s Life Trails winded toward.

~~~~

Lawrence turned around slowly, frozen with astonishment and fear. Cassia stood in front of him, giving him a look of concern and puzzlement, a bag in her hands.

She held it up, then pointed at the bag around Lawrence’s shoulder. “I need yours to finish the camp, and you were taking a while, so—”

“How much did you see?” Lawrence blurted, hiding the Pokédex behind his back.

Cassia came closer, trying to look behind his back. “I saw the box glowing. What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing, just, go—”

“No, tell me what’s happening.”

“I can’t tell—”

“Why not?”

“Because…because…” Lawrence stuttered, struggling for a reason.

Cassia crossed her arms. “Does it have to do with the Guild?”

Lawrence shook his head immediately. “No, no, nothing to do with them!” He looked left and right, attempting to come up with a reasonable explanation behind an otherworldly light coming from a black Pokédex.

Cassia continued to scrutinize him, taking a step back. “You better tell me right now. I let it slide before since you lost your memory and didn’t know anything, but now it’s pretty obvious that you know what it is—and who you are.” She uncrossed her arms. “Who are you?”

Silence hung between them for minutes, simply staring at each other as Lawrence struggled for answers and Cassia waited for them. The sun set behind the horizon as Grom sat at the proposed campsite, waiting for Cassia and Lawrence to return, while they stood in their verbal struggle.

Finally, Lawrence sighed, dropping his arms, revealing the still-lit Pokédex. “I’ll…I’ll tell you. Can we…go back first? I’d…I’d rather have Grom hear this too.”

Cassia stood still, then nodded. She turned away, marching toward the camp, her dress flowing past the grass.

Lawrence looked down at the Pokédex, seeing its taunting message: ‘No access point in range.’ His paw shook, and he reared back. ‘It’s thanks to this piece of junk and the company that made it that I’m even in this mess!’ he thought. He wanted to throw it, crushing the screen and destroying any evidence of his life in Unova, just so he could avoid telling the truth.

He blinked, lowering his arm. But what would that solve? He would have no way back, and they’d still ask questions. It would solve nothing, only make things worse.

He put the Pokédex back in the case, walking to Cassia, considering the best way to make him not seem like a maniac.

~~~~

Blackness stretched across the sky, sparks drifting upward from the low fire of the three travelers. Kricketot chirruped, sitting in the trees and watching them sit around the blaze. The sweet scent of apples hovered in the air, and leaves continued to fall with gentle rhythm, occasionally burning to cinders by the heat of the flame.

Lawrence held a stick with an apple stabbed through the tip, leaning forward and watching the juices leak from the splitting skin. Cassia did the same, only watching Lawrence’s fearful expression instead. Grom towered over Lawrence, his arms fanned apart, maintaining a constant vigil over the path.

Lawrence took a deep breath, pulling back the apple and inspecting it. “I guess it’s time to tell you the truth now—who I am, where I’m from, what the…box, is.” Cassia nodded.

Lawrence sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m going to warn you now: it’s going to seem crazy. I have hard time believing it myself.”

“I’m sure I’ve heard worse,” Cassia replied, pulling out her own apple, then shoving it back into the fire.

Lawrence sighed once more, then started telling them about Unova, with numerous towers, humans, pet Pokémon, and technology. He told them about President Hanson’s plan to give their dimension’s Pokémon sentience. He told them how he accepted their offer, and the means of how he came to Equivos, and how he had kept record of their actions throughout Equivos on his Pokédex.

He brought out the Pokédex and turned it on, showing the many icons on its screen. “This is a Pokédex 2.0. They’re everywhere in Unova. They help us with everything whether it be checking on what our Pokémon need, or where we should pick up food.” He held it out in front of him, forcing a smile. “We can even take pictures with them.” It flashed briefly, and Grom grumbled in surprise, while Cassia blinked, astounded.

Lawrence rubbed his eyes, unused to the sudden flash, and held out the Pokédex to Cassia. “See? There’s me.” She took the Pokédex cautiously, studying the image and moving her fingers across the glass surface, rearing back when the smiling Lucario within moved slightly.

Lawrence reached over and tapped the photo button. “Want to see yourself?” The Pokédex flashed, and Cassia blinked, averting her eyes from the strange technology. Soon after, the screen showed, and Cassia hurriedly covered it.

“H-How do you…get rid of them?”

Lawrence cocked his head curiously. “Just…tap the little red can at the bottom. Why?”

Cassia did so hastily, sighing in relief. “I just…don’t know what to think.” She held the Pokédex out to Lawrence, her hand shaking.

Lawrence took it gratefully, putting it back in his case. “Sorry, I guess it’s a little much.” He looked at the core of his baked apple, throwing it behind him. “So…what do you think?”

Cassia studied the fire, her blue eyes reflecting the orange flames. “You say you were changed when you came here. You used to be…human.” She looked up. “What did you look like?”

Lawrence’s eyes widened, and he took the Pokédex out of its case once more. He swiped to the photos, then went through his collection, pausing. He saw a picture of himself, in his pre-changed state, sitting with his mom and dad, smiling for a family portrait.

He shakily handed it to Cassia, nodding. She studied the picture, and Lawrence croaked, “I haven’t seen myself like that ever since I came here. I didn’t know I would be changed into…” He looked at his paws. “…this.” He clenched them. “I…miss my family. I miss my home. I miss…” He closed his eyes, tearing up.

“Me.” He covered his face, heaving. All the memories of Sinnoh returned to him in a flood, reminding him of where he belonged and that he would most likely never see those who knew him for who he really was.

He felt a hand set across his shoulder, causing him to look up. Cassia looked down sympathetically, her hand running through his fur in a strangely soothing way.

She closed her eyes. “I ran away from… my father, two years ago. He wasn’t the best Pokémon, but he loved me, and tried to make me as happy as I could be. For a time, I was.”

She sat down next to Lawrence, removing her hand then rubbing her fingers. “But then I found the Arceist Tome. I wanted to follow Arceus and help bring others to him. My father didn’t want me to leave him, so he kept it away. I knew that I wouldn’t be truly happy until I ran from him, bringing the word of Arceus to everybody I could.”

She sniffed, wiping her face. “It might not seem like it, but we’re pretty alike. We’re both away from what we know, we’re trying to fit in with those around us, and we just can’t know who to trust with our true selves.”

“Gro…gro…” Grom patted Lawrence as softly as he could, thudding him gently with his massive stone gauntlets. His eyes lowered to a dull glow, sparking abruptly with brief flashes of light—the closest he could get to tears.

Lawrence sniffed, shaking with tears in his eyes. “Thank you…thank you, so much.”

The Kricketot continued to chirrup their lunar song, moving alongside the gentle swaying of Grom as he hummed his own tune, gently stamping his feet to a dull beat.

Soon, Cassia hummed, then began to sing:

“Child of Creation,

Of Arceus Dear,

Of warmth and love,

Hold no fear.

His arms enfold you,

As they always have,

So, hold back your tears,

And remember your home.

Creator’s son,

Hold your head high,

Creator’s daughter,

You mustn’t sigh.

Remember your place of birth,

Remember the parents that held you,

Remember where you now are,

And how Arceus will return you.”

Lawrence blinked back his tears. He felt he knew this song. Once, long ago, he remembered his mother singing this very song when they moved to Celestic Town from Jubilife, and how it soothed his upset, eight-year-old self. This same song had come back—alongside the same beliefs.

The humming stopped, and Grom stopped his beating. Cassia stood up, keeping her hands crossed in front of her. “I don’t know about your world, or how to get you back. I don’t know how such a place can exist, just as you don’t know how this one can be.” She held out her hand. “But I know that everyone is loved by Arceus, even those from a different world. You have no need to fear me or Grom; we believe you and want to help however we can.”

Lawrence remained staring at the ground, remembering the Arceists of Sinnoh. ‘Are they and the Arceists of Equivos…

‘The same?’

~~~~

Arthus stopped at the fringe of the Revenant Forest, where dead, spindly trees met with the coarse sand of the desert. To the north, fresh green trees grew, marking the dividing line of the haunted and the free.

He went to take a step inside. He looked up and saw a crown of leaves atop an enormous tree, its single eye trained on him.

Arthus clutched his head again as a deep, reverberating voice echoed in his mind. “A crossroads in wait shall soon be trod, and in the wrong, you strive to be god.”

The Zoroark held up a defiant fist and roared, “I am not in the wrong! I am doing what should have been done from the beginning!” He breathed quickly, looking back at the pale grey mass to the south. “To think that he’s here rather than there.”

Arthus shook his head, running toward the live trees to the north. “I won’t be tortured by a Trevenant again. Not after that wretched experience.”

He entered the quiet wood and strove to drive away the voice. But it kept repeating in his mind, warning him, taunting him. All the while, the somber tone made him drowsier and drowsier.

Finally, Arthus’ eyes drooped, and he leaned against a tree, yawning. He fought against it, shaking his head. “No…must find her…must…” He slid to the ground with his back against the tree, and he fell into a deep, deep sleep.

~~~~

Lawrence slept on a pile of gathered leaves, studying the stars. Grom and Cassia remained at the smoldering remains of the campfire, preparing for sleep. The Kricketot continued to chirrup, slowing their pace and drifting to rest themselves.

He sighed contentedly. ‘I can talk about all sorts of things with Cassia now. About our lives, our worlds, even about other Pokémon. I don’t have to be so closed off any more.’

He fell asleep with this comforting thought, pleased to be himself once more.

~~~~

Blackness. All that surrounded him was blackness. The Zoroark stood in what seemed to be the center, still. No sound, no wind, no existence.

A Zangoose materialized in front of him, a large red gash across his chest. “Why did you do this to me? Why?” he cried.

An Audino joined him, holding a hand up to her cut throat. “We trusted you! You were our friend! Our leader!”

The Zoroark involuntarily stepped back, holding his hands up defensively. “I…I didn’t want to! I never did!”

Hundreds of other Pokemon joined the Audino and Zangoose, surrounding him on all sides.

“Why did you do this?”

“We trusted you!”

“You killed us all, and for what?”

“Was there really no other choice?”

The Zoroark fell to the ground and clamped his hands over his eyes. “Stop it, stop it, stop it!”

The voices hushed. The Pokemon all disappeared. The Zoroark uncovered his eyes and stood up, then turned around, finding no one.

He turned back around and came face-to-face with a female Zoroark wearing a gold pendant, holding a black, rune-covered blade. She held it up with a pained expression.

“Was it worth it?”

~~~~

Arthus bolted upright, struggling for breath. He hugged himself and muttered repeatedly, “I’m sorry…I’m bringing you back…I won’t leave you…”

After several minutes, he looked up and squinted his eyes, the harsh sunlight shining into his pupils. “I’ve been asleep for too long.” He looked to the north, studying the sea of trees. “The only development that I know Cassia hasn’t gone to in that direction is Hydren. There’s little point in following her now.” He stood up and snapped his fingers, causing a small flame to ignite on the end of one. He turned back and forth, and the flame grew stronger or weaker based on his direction. He walked toward where it was strongest and eventually found a large fallen tree, dead for many years.

He dug his hand into the ground and stopped. He closed his eyes and said, “I’ll bring you all back…once I am finished.” As tendrils took him back into the soil, he looked down at the golden bracelet on his wrist.

“Especially you, Corrina.”

~~~~

The sun rose over the apple trees, awakening the Fletchling and Taillow that slumbered in the boughs. They warbled their songs, pecking at apples and flitting between the falling leaves.

Lawrence sniffed, rubbing his eyes. ‘Better get going. We need to get to Cretea if I want to get home.’

He walked toward the camp, watching Cassia stand up from a distance, folding the blanket she slept on. Grom stepped in, stomping the ashes of their fire and extinguishing the remains of their camp.

Lawrence stepped into view, and Cassia looked over with a smile. “Had a good night’s sleep?”

He nodded. “Better than I’ve had for a long time.”

Cassia stuffed the blanket into the bag, her smile disappearing. “Um…about yesterday…with the sack.” Lawrence narrowed his eyes, intrigued.

Cassia sighed, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I overreacted. I’d like to show you what’s inside it, but…just not now.” She forced a smile. “Okay?”

Lawrence nodded his head slowly. “Alright.” Cassia let out her breath in relief, then went over to Grom.

Inwardly, Lawrence added, ‘Doesn’t help me understand why it’s so secret.’

Grom finished crushing the ashes and the rocks that surrounded them, then pointed behind him—the direction they came from. “Gro-hawm. Hawm.”

Cassia nodded, finishing packing her supplies. “I know, we need to get going.” She tossed a bag to Lawrence, who caught it casually and slung it over his shoulder. “You feel alright, Lawrence…Stephenson?”

The Lucario nodded, grinning. “Feeling great.”

“Good,” Cassia replied.

They trod across the beaten path, toward the port city of Hydren, to the archipelago of Cretea.

 

[canisaries]

After further consideration, I have decided to shift to weekly updates. I am working on the story in the same amount of time, and so far, I have been able to keep up. With this sort of pace, I will be able to finish posting far sooner than originally planned. If there are any concerns about this, let me know in the comments.

Oh, cool! I do prefer more frequent updates, but only if you're sure you can manage.

Anyway, let's read~

Amidst the dust-covered books and numerous instruments, a rusted Metagross tromped from the corner, his eyes glowing in the dim light. Rust shook from his joints with every step, the once-sturdy metal creaking and bending under every strain. Stacked on top of his head, thick books caused Martre to sag even more.

Ooh, very vivid character description. I like how textured this is, it breathes way more life to the original design of Metagross than whatever in-game 3D model a reader would have in mind as default. Actually, have you considered describing other characters like this too? There are limits depending on the Pokemon, of course, but something like mentioning how a Buneary's fluff is very puffy or how Cassia's hair looks like blade of grass (or whatever your take on what Gardevoir are made of is). I feel like it could be really neat.

Grom reached up, gingerly picking apples and setting them in his palm. After picking a dozen, he held them out to Cassia, who nodded appreciatively. “You’re so nice to have around, Grom!” Grom chuckled, the apples bouncing in his hand.

Small note: when a paragraph's main focus is one character (Grom) and then another character (Cassia) talks without a dialogue tag, it can get confusing. Now of course the readers do know by now that Grom can't speak like that, but a dialogue tag or switching of paragraph would make it flow a tad better.

Lawrence waved to her absent-mindedly, taking out the Pokedex when he thought he was out of sight.

Phrasing it like "when he thought he was out of sight" makes it sound pretty apparent he's going to get caught, even if he was out of sight. Provided you want to make the getting caught part surprising, you may want to word it differently.

The Guildmaster passed by deceased Galvantula and Cacturne, sensing their disturbed souls. He opened his jaws a crack, and his stripes glowed.

Red mist erupted from the ground, flowing into his mouth. Screams and wails erupted around him, dreading their fate. Their master, however, cared not; he had more need for their Life than them.

The mist ended, and the jaws snapped shut. Gardner laughed slowly, echoing across the desert as he exited.

oh damn that's pretty metal

Blackness stretched across the sky, alight by the low fire of the three travelers.

I'm not totally sure what was meant by this? I guess that the sky is black, but in that case, it can't really be lit. On a clear night, which is what this appears to be, there's nothing that could reflect light back (and therefore appear lit), and on a cloudy night the fire would have to be a lot bigger to make any kind of impact on the color. If there was fog, that could catch the light, but I think the simplest way around this confusion would just be a rewording.

Spoiler: Allow me to needlessly elaborate even more with this image

You can see how really only the ground, people and smoke are lit.

Man, me injecting real-life physics into this fantastical Pokemon fic seems to be a recurring theme with my reviews

But as always, I generally do like the description in this chapter a lot.

Lawrence reached over and tapped the photo button. “Want to see yourself?” The Pokedex flashed, and Cassia blinked, averting her eyes from the strange technology. Soon after, the screen showed, and Cassia hurriedly covered it.

“H-How do you…get rid of them?”

WITCHCRAFT! BEGONE, DEMON

Moonlight shown overhead, giving the trees a pale, ethereal quality, aglow with white light.

Shone?

“What?” Volno asked incredulously.

May be a question of taste, but I feel something simpler like "hardly believing his ears" would sound better. Longer/fancier words tend to freeze the action a little.

“Oh, how I love getting on my servants’ nerves!” he cried, shutting the gate behind him.

Oh, Arthus, I do too. I found this scene very enjoyable

They ran away from the sled, it's course headed right for a massive oak.

*its

Gardner placed a hand over his snout, forcing it closed. “Your time for forgiveness is over.” His arm glowed with red energy, and large veins pulsed from Volno’s body into Gardner’s. “I will meet you again…at the Tree of Life.” The restrained screams and howls finally stopped, and Volno was no more.

rip Volno he was a good boy

Things really getting heavy now. I like.

General Comments

This chapter is very nicely structured. Bonding at a campfire and the main villain himself having a humanizing moment create a sharp contrast with the scenes with Gardner, making his cruelty stand out even more. Consequently, the relief of Lawrence's secret coming out is also strengthened by this divide.

That's it for this time, see ya later.

 

[lucarioknight56]

Changes are all finished, and thanks for the review, as always. At least I managed to get it mostly right the first time, eh?

 

[lucarioknight56]

Chapter 08: Conciliation

Along the eastern coast of Serenita, few trees remained, instead replaced with sparse shrubbery and tossed driftwood. To the right of the path, coarse white sand stretched toward the gently foaming sea, grains flying in the brisk breeze. Salt hung in the wind, stinging Lawrence’s and Cassia’s eyes and nose. Grom, lacking a nose and organics in general, didn’t notice.

Lawrence sneezed, taking a deep breath while walking along the path. ‘I’ve only been to the sea when I was leaving Sinnoh. Everything tastes like salt—even the air.”

Cassia breathed in, undisturbed by the scent. “It’s been so long since I’ve been in this part of Serenita. Even after two years, I haven’t gone everywhere; the mountains, the swamps…” She shivered. “Places I’d like to go but are simply too dangerous.” She turned to Lawrence. “How large is your world? Bigger than Equivos?”

“I can remember at least seven regions, and there’s sure to be more,” Lawrence replied.

“Wow, so seven continents? Around the size of Serenita?”

“Well, yes, but one of them is more like a few islands. Still, they’re big.”

“And there’s...humans, on all of them?”

“Yep, all living with Pokémon too.”

“Are they like wild Pokémon?”

“In a way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we have these little balls called Poke Balls. We can capture these wild Pokémon and domesticate them. You know, not hunt other Pokémon, do tricks, and, of course, battle.”

“You train them to battle?”

“Yeah, it’s actually pretty popular. We even have this thing called the Gym Challenge where a bunch of ten-year-olds get a team of Pokémon together and challenge eight people called Gym Leaders. After that, they go to the League and challenge four super powerful trainers called the Elite Four, then the Champion himself!”

Cassia stared at him, horrified. “That...sounds dreadful! Why would they force Pokémon to fight like that! Ten-year-olds too! Laryon was no older than that when he had to go with Matheus Lucario!”

Lawrence cringed, not realizing how sacrilegious it seemed. “They aren’t killed or anything...most of the time. We have gotten really good at helping them recover after a battle.”

“Is there anything else you do with these Pokémon?” Cassia asked, concerned.

“Well, yeah. We have Pokémon Contests, where trainers perform in front of a crowd with Pokémon.”

“Really?”

“Yeah...so?”

Cassia turned away, shaking her head. “Sorry, I just...have a hard time believing it. There’s hardly any wild Pokémon around here, so I don’t have a very good perspective.”

Lawrence nodded, seeing her point. ‘About as strange as me being here.”

Cassia blew a sigh, turning back to him. “So, that’s how your world is like? Full of children battling each other for fun?”

Lawrence scratched the back of his head. “That’s really what it revolves around. I never took the challenge myself, since I was more interested in learning more about Pokémon.”

“Are there others like you?”

“Yeah, just like there’s people who battle in the league.”

“What do you study?”

“Pokémon behavior. The company I work for--”

“Company?”

“Right, you don’t know. A company’s basically a bunch of people who get together to do something, like selling something.”

“Like the Guild.”

“Yeah, but not so humanitarian. The company I work for makes the Pokédex and many…” he struggled for the right word, knowing that she wasn’t familiar with many of the terms his world invented. “Things it can do, I guess. People want things to play with their Pokémon or know what they need. I help with that by figuring out what Pokémon do in certain situations, then send the data to someone who can compile that into the Pokédex.”

“Unova’s very strange,” Cassia said, shaking her head.

Lawrence laughed. “I could say the same about Equivos.”

They both laughed together, with Grom adding in his own throaty chuckle. Wingull flew overhead, searching for little morsels to eat, while Sealeo lounged on the beach, resting under the noonday sun.

Cassia put a hand in her bag, still smiling. “Do humans have a religion?”

Lawrence shrugged. “If you consider Pokémon a religion. Most people just devote their lives to them, whether it be making the best team, putting on the best show, or helping people do just that.”

Cassia frowned. “So, nothing like what I teach then?”

Lawrence’s humor fled. “Well, there is something like yours…”

Cassia beamed, coming closer. “Really? What?”

Lawrence forced a smile. “Well, it’s...Arceism.”

Cassia cocked her head. “What? Arceism?”

“I know, it’s crazy. Back home, there’s this girl who keeps on wanting me to go to her church, thinking that it’ll be good for me.”

“Do you ever go?”

Lawrence paused, seeing where this was going. “If you want me to learn more about it, I don’t want to hear it.”

“I was just asking—”

“No. I don’t want anything to do with them.”

Cassia stopped in front of Lawrence. “What is it about Arceus’ teachings that you hate?”

Lawrence shook briefly but stopped himself. “He…doesn’t exist. Back home, the Arceists think that Pokémon should be treated just like humans…like they are on our same level.” He weakly laughed. “I’ve seen it for myself out there. It isn’t true.”

Cassia’s eyes widened. “But…it is true! All of it! What could possibly—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Lawrence gave her a warning stare.

She frowned, her hair failing in front of her eyes. “But…why?” Grom continued to stare, cocking his head.

Lawrence sighed, then said, “I need to think. Alone.” He ran ahead, running from the Arceists, just as he had done years before.

~~~~

Hours later, Lawrence slumped against a tree, his arms around his chest and his legs drawn up. The sun began to set, the waves of the sea lapping against its bottom. Wingull called for their brethren, returning to their nests for the coming night.

Lawrence covered his face, contemplating. ‘I shouldn’t have run from Cassia…even if I didn’t like what she said.’

He smacked the back of the tree, grunting in irritation. ‘They’ll catch up with me soon, and she’ll ask why I hate Arceism so much.’ He sighed, putting a paw over his eye. ‘But they wouldn’t understand…just like before.”

Leaves drifted off the tree he sat under, falling onto his pointed ears. He brushed them away, then picked up a leaf that had managed to get underneath his chin. He noticed the blackened stone that Cassia had given him, cracked and dull, just as he had received it.

He held it in his other paw, studying the spidery cracks so intricately spread throughout the work. ‘This thing’s illusions are a lot like my “amnesia”—believable and deceptive, but one strike, and they dissipated.’

“Much like how she’d see my beliefs if I told her,” he thought, letting go of the stone. ‘Why does she need to convert me? I’ve already seen what Arceus has to offer, and it’s nothing I want.’

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Lawrence twisted his head, his scowl dissipating. ‘She’s here.’

He looked up and saw Cassia standing over him, her face expressionless. In her arms, the Arceist Tome’s pages ruffled, while her dress swayed slightly in the wind. Grom towered over her, the light from the cracks scattered about his frame dim.

Lawrence and Cassia stared each other for a moment, then Cassia held the Tome out toward him. He made no move to grab it.

She set the book down in front of him, hesitantly taking back her hand. She stepped away, her eyes focused on the Tome. “I know you don’t like me talking about your beliefs, but…” She brushed back her hair, turning away from him. “My life is devoted to Arceus. I have to talk about him. Even if you don’t believe in him, I have to be able to say my thoughts, regardless of what they are.” She brushed her hair, forcing herself to look away.

“I don’t care if you believe. Really. I’ve become good friends with those who didn’t.” She swallowed, gazing at Lawrence once more. “But they at least listened to me. I can’t have you running away every time I choose to talk about my beliefs.” She sighed, crossing her arms and walking away. “Just…try to read it. Even one page. If you can show me you’re willing to be around what I love most, then you can stay.” Grom followed her, his head swiveling to keep his gaze on the Lucario. They stopped at the edge of the beach, watching the tides sink into the sand.

Lawrence looked at them, then at the book. He knelt down, carefully opening the cover of the Tome. ‘I guess I’ll have to read it, whether I like it or not.’

He let the cover fall, and he felt a slight tremor. He touched the cover page, tracing Aleron’s scrawling signature. He felt a jolt of pain in his paw and yanked it back, staring at the book in surprise.

Cautiously, he touched the page again, but nothing happened. He furrowed his brow, wondering what could have caused the shock.

He turned the page, the thought leaving his mind. Line upon line of text stretched in front of him, small images littered throughout the prose. Notes and arrows drawn with charcoal crisscrossed between the white space, referring to other passages and underlining important messages. In between the pages, tags marked the different books, the one on top reading, ‘Origin’.

Lawrence reached a paw toward the tags, preparing to flip to random section and get the reading over with.

Capture it.

He paused, retracting his paw. He looked around for a moment, then reached for the tabs once more.

Capture it. With the Pokédex.

Lawrence stopped once more, looking up curiously. ‘Where’d that voice come from? It’s not mine…’

He looked to Cassia and Grom. The Gardevoir sat on a decayed log, sketching the sunset, while Grom stood in the waves, holding his arms out. Wingull perched on him, squawking their amusement.

Lawrence looked back at the book, lifting the pages.

Capture it.

He stopped. ‘Why? What do you mean ‘capture it’? Like taking a picture? I can read it whenever I want with Cassia around—if I ever wanted to.’

He turned back to Cassia. ‘Actually, she seemed rather…reluctant, to let me see the Tome. I guess she doesn’t trust others with it.’

He looked down at the book. ‘I can’t even open it without “capture it” going again, and who knows if it’ll just repeat. But why do I need to do this?’

He pulled out his Pokédex, bringing up the camera function. ‘Maybe Cassia has something to do with it; she doesn’t want to be away from the Tome after all.” He held the Pokédex over the book. ‘I can just take pictures of it, so she doesn’t have to give it to me to read—if she wants me to, that is. Anything to keep on her good side.’

He took a picture, studying the result on his screen. He smiled, unsure of why he felt so great about taking it. He took a picture of the next page, and the pages after.

~~~~

Cassia sighed, comparing her drawing to what lay on the horizon. On the paper, the sun had just started its twilight descent; now, it had long sunk beneath.

Grom sat next to her, looking back at Lawrence, who busily swept through the pages, holding his Pokédex over them as he went. “Gro-haw…hawm.”

Cassia nodded, closing her sketchbook. “Yes, he’s taking a while. Maybe he’s actually interested in it?” Grom gave her a blank look.

She made a nervous laugh, putting the book in her bag. “Yeah...he wouldn’t be.” She hung her head, watching the wind blow sand beneath her feet. “Do you think he’ll listen? I don’t want him to leave…not yet, anyway.” She looked back at Lawrence. “I just feel…connected to him, somehow.”

Grom picked up a pile of sand, letting it fall from his fingers with a shake of his head. “Gro?”

“I know, it’s silly. We barely know each other, and even then, he’s a human.” She brushed back her hair, pinching a length of it and twisting it around her finger. “But he got turned into a Lucario. Why would he turn into the Pokémon that Arthus hates more than anything else?”

“Hawm.” Grom threw sand above him, the grains colliding onto his body with a rush of clinks.

“It could be a coincidence, I know.” She looked up at the sky, staring at the single star that peeped behind a cloud. “But with Arceus, everything has a purpose behind it.”

“Gro-gro-hawm,” Grom added, brushing the sand from his shoulder.

“I know, I know, ‘don’t associate with anyone but your Guardian.’” She stood up in front of Grom, putting a hand under her chin. “But he needs our help. He knows nothing about Equivos, and he’ll probably never find a way home unless we let him be with us.” The sky darkened further, and Lawrence finally closed the back cover of the Tome.

“I just hope he’ll change.”

~~~~

Lawrence hefted the thick book, surprised by its weight. ‘Taking those pictures was a good idea—even if I don’t really know why. At least Cassia will be glad.’

He began walking toward her, studying a page on his Pokédex:

Through diverse means do I complete my work. The smallest of thorns proves more effective than the largest of fists against the mightiest of foes.

Quiet whispers ring louder than the loudest shouts; declare my word through persuasion and encouragement, not by force and compulsion, and great shall be your reward.

He shut off the Pokédex and awkwardly set it back in its case. ‘Sounds a lot like what Arceists believe. It’s…actually pretty nice, in retrospect.’

He shook his head, frowning. ‘Maybe I’m a bit too harsh toward Arceists. There are some good things about them, even if they’re wrong about Arceus. I should at least give them that.”

Looking down at the book, he sighed. ‘Even if he doesn’t exist, there are many things the Arceists here believe that are worthwhile listening to.’

~~~~

He stood in front of Cassia, setting the Tome in her hands. She sat on the log, with Grom standing behind her, staring down at the Lucario.

She looked up at him, then looked down at the Tome sadly. “Well...what do you think?”

Lawrence set his Pokédex on top of the Tome, turning on the screen, revealing the dozens of images from the Tome. He smirked, saying, “I figured that you should keep it for yourself.”

Cassia studied the screen, cautiously tapping an image. It expanded, the words and markings suddenly becoming clear, all of her notes and clarifications visible.

She beamed, opening her mouth to say something. Lawrence held up his paw, stopping her. “I’ll listen to you, but not because it’s from Arceus. I’ll listen, because it says how people--Pokémon--should be like.” He took back the Pokédex, exiting the camera. “If you want me to read, you don’t have to give it up anymore; I can just read from here.” He tucked it back into its case. “So…” He held out his paw. “Are you alright with that?”

Cassia smiled, standing up, holding the Tome to her chest. “Yes, I am.”

~~~~

They continued their journey along the coast until the moon rose, illuminating the rushing seas with pale white beams. Zubat flew overhead, screeing as they searched for victims. The wind faded to a dull breeze, no longer lifting the sand from their dunes.

Lawrence squinted his eyes, seeing light ahead. “Is that Hydren?”

“Yes, but we’ll have to wait till tomorrow before we can go in and get to Cretea,” Cassia replied. She walked toward a patch of dirt in the lush grass that grew to their left. “We better camp until then.”

Grom swiveled his head, looking behind them. “Groawm—hawm,” he growled, his eyes flashing.

Cassia dug through her bag, nodding to Grom. “Right, you keep watch; I almost forgot about that Pokémon tracking us.” She gasped, pulling out a small sack, beaten and threadbare. “I forgot all about the flour! I hope it isn’t spoiled…” she said, inspecting it.

Lawrence kicked some twigs into a pile of rocks, one paw over the bag at his waist. “Better use it then. What will you make?”

Cassia tapped the side of her face, sighing. “I was hoping to try something new with it, but I sort of bought it without thinking.” She pointed to Lawrence’s bag. “There should be a bowl in there somewhere; be careful with the water bottle.” She propped her head on her lap, moping. “It’s been a long time since I’ve cooked anything though. What do I make?”

Lawrence opened the bag, sifting through the contents. Something squelched as he grabbed the bowl, and upon pulling it out, found the splattered remains of a Chesto berry, the skin sticking to the wooden edge.

Lawrence looked at the flour, the berries, the sticks, the stones, and the bottle. He looked up with a smirk.

“I know what to do.”

~~~~

Minutes later, Lawrence scraped a piece of flint against the spike on his paw, sending sparks into the air. He knelt on the ground, aiming the flint at a structure of small rocks supporting a large, flat stone, with a bundle of dry twigs and broken branches underneath it. Striking the flint once more, the twigs immediately caught flame, beginning to heat the stone above it.

Turning aside, Lawrence nodded to Cassia, who stirred a sticky mixture in the bowl.

She handed the bowl to Lawrence, then asked, “Pretty clever with the rocks, but we can’t make bread with that. What are you doing?”

Lawrence blew the fire, increasing its intensity. “You’ll find out.” He took the spoon out of the bowl, grateful that Cassia had such a tool with her.

“Won’t the fire let that tracker know where we are?” Cassia asked.

“Not with the way I’ve got it. It’s low, for one, and it’s covered by the rock. It’ll brighten up the area around it and nothing else really.”

Cassia laughed. “You certainly know what you’re doing. Have you been in a place like this before?”

Lawrence chuckled, spooning out a portion of the batter. “Well, I lived on my own in the woods for a week when I was sixteen. I had to get pretty creative to make food and survive.” He poured the batter, which started to sizzle upon contacting the stone. “This warmed up faster than I thought it would, so we’ll be eating crepes before we know it.”

Cassia gave him a curious look. “Crepes?”

Lawrence grinned, ladling another portion onto the stone. “You’ll find out.” He set down the bowl and grabbed a handful of berries from his bag. “What’s your favorite berry?”

Cassia shrugged, taking a glance upward. “Cheri, I guess? Why?”

Lawrence picked out the Cheri berries and tossed the others back into the bag. “Like I told you, you’ll find out.”

While the batter cooked, Lawrence said, “You know, I had very different thoughts about this place before I came here.”

“Like what?” Cassia asked, stretching.

“Well, I didn’t expect much different from the Pokémon back home. Sure, I knew that you could build things and talk, but…” He flipped the cakes, sighing. “I turned out to be wrong. Equivos is actually a lot like my home region, Sinnoh. Lots of trees, few towns…” He chuckled. “There’s even Arceists. They’re all around the world, but Sinnoh’s sort of like a center for them. It’s always been a spiritual place for them, what with myths of Arceus first being discovered there.”

“What are your Arceists like? I haven’t met anyone outside of myself who knows much about Arceus,” Cassia asked.

“They’re done!” Lawrence exclaimed, scraping underneath the cakes with a spoon and setting them on a cloth. He ducked his head out of Cassia’s sight, then wheezed a sigh as he squished the Cheri berries across them.

He rolled the cakes, grateful that he could avoid Cassia’s last question. ‘Close call. The Arceists back home never treated me right after I fell away. I was lucky to get away with things like my wilderness trips—and moving away.’

He held up the cloth, offering one of the crepes to Cassia. She studied them for a moment, then carefully lifted one, inspecting it.

Lawrence took the other crepe, checking his handiwork. ‘It’s not exactly a crepe; it’s really a gritty pancake with squashed berries, but she won’t know the difference.’ He took a bite out of it, then nodded his head. ‘Yep, gritty pancake. Not as sweet either, but it’s nice and tart still.’ He held it up and said, “It’s good! Try it!”

Cassia closed her eyes, then took a small bite from the crepe. She chewed, a smile coming to her face. She opened her eyes and said, “I like it. Does this come from your world?”

Lawrence nodded, continuing to eat his crepe. “Yep, it does. I eat them all the time for breakfast.” He paused, staring at the crepe. “That last time I had one was on the day I left.” Memories of his parents returned to him, how they had made crepes regularly themselves and had them for breakfast, sharing them with their pet Growlithe. ‘I didn’t even take the time to say goodbye.’

Cassia leaned forward, cocking her head. “Are you alright?”

Lawrence briefly nodded his head, biting into the crepe quickly. A spurt of Cheri juice spurted around his lips, staining his fur red.

He chewed the bite of crepe while Cassia gazed at him with an amused smile, miming washing her cheek. Lawrence gave a her a curious look, reaching up to his face. He dabbed at the side of his lips, his paw becoming sticky.

He chuckled, licking his lips and enjoying the juices. “Happens sometimes,” he said with a grin.

Cassia laughed, covering her mouth. She swallowed her bite, then said “I like you more now that you’re not pretending that you’ve lost your memory.” She ate some more.

Lawrence took another bite, then after swallowing, said, “And I’m glad you’ve been so honest with me.”

Cassia coughed, her eyes bulging as she covered her mouth once more. She cleared her throat, then said, “Sorry, I just choked on a bit.” She smiled again and nodded. “Thanks.”

~~~~

Within the Guild, Arthus walked invisibly along the paths, crossing by the few guards that remained at the hour. The lanterns that hung from the posts glowed low, and the desert chill set heavily on the Pokemon. Most had returned to their dormitories, or in the case of a few, to the ruins that made the northern district—a place filled with life, twenty years ago.

Arthus glanced at the ashen remains of a home in the corner, then turned away, toward the Master’s Tower. “I shouldn’t dwell on such things…not now.”

‘What have you done?’

Arthus flinched. “You.”

‘You tried to erase me—the real me.’

“It was for our own good!” Arthus hissed. “If you stayed in control, we would be nowhere close to throwing Arceus out of the Tree—just like before.”

‘I don’t care. I’ve done enough horrible things to last eternity; I don’t need anything else to haunt me!’

Arthus gasped and clutched his head, doubling over. “N-No! Not yet!” His head snapped the other way and he cried, “I have to make things right!”

He hurriedly snapped a hand against his head and sent a blast of Life into it, causing him to jerk. He paused for a moment, then sighed, lowering his hand. “While I might be your shadow, I still regret all of this. But unlike you, I know that all of this can be reversed once Arceus’ power is ours.”

He continued down the path into the Master’s Tower, then stormed up the stairs to see Gardner resting on his chair, his fingers interlocked on his chest. His maw opened and closed with every breath, sending chilly air into the room.

Arthus pushed the chair forward and sent Gardner to the floor, waking him with a snort. “Wake up, sleepyhead!”

Gardner groaned, pushing himself up and dusting off his chest. “What was that for? Do you have any idea how late it is?” He took a glance out the window and added, “The moon’s not even halfway across the sky!”

Arthus grabbed Gardner’s collar and yanked him closer. “Have you found anything on the Prison Bottle’s whereabouts? Cassia will be in Hydren in the next few days, so I can afford to search for it.”

Gardner pulled himself away, readjusting his ruff. “Yes, I have. I don’t need to be pushed around like some underling.” He took a book from the table next to his chair and opened the page at the bookmark. His eye flashed, then he closed it, holding his hand over the cover.

He slowly turned to face Arthus, who folded his arms and leaned against the wall. “I’m waiting.”

Gardner cleared his throat and said, “There was a report made roughly six hundred years ago in Cryus. It said that a certain Pokemon had taken the Bottle and hidden it within the Xilo Mountains, likely near the town. Outside of that it is unclear; I haven’t found anything else more recent.”

“And who, pray tell, was the Pokemon that hid it? It had to have been someone very humble to give up Hoopa’s power like that,” Arthus asked, studying his claws.

Gardner reached toward the chair to set the book on it. “Nobody important. Nobody at all.” Arthus gave him a harsh look and saw the Dusknoir’s scarred eye flitting back and forth.

Arthus stood upright and marched toward him. “Liar.” He ripped the book from his hands and turned to the marked page. “It can’t be so bad that—” He took one look at the picture and dropped the book instantly, rearing back from it. He lowered to all fours and drew closer, his eyes wide. “No…it can’t be…I killed him myself…I saw him die!”

He studied the picture again and saw the silver Lucario holding the Prison Bottle, recognizing the smile and build well. The caption only confirmed his fear: “He’s alive.”

Gardner hovered back, holding his hands in front of him. “L-Lord Arthus, there’s surely a reasonable explanation. Someone was likely named after him, or—”

Arthus leapt on top of Gardner and pinned him to the ground, holding his claws inches from his neck with a crazed look. “No! He’s alive! No one else looks like that!” His features softened, and he loosened his grip. “No one…no one else has his…positivity.” He stood up and shook his head, twirling a length of his mane. “Arceus must have brought him back….and considering that he hid the bottle 1400 years after his supposed death, he must be immortal—a Legend.” He groaned and clutched his head. “I knew that he gained something from being Deity Elect!”

Gardner pushed himself up and cocked his head. “Pardon?”

Arthus glared at him once more, but turned away, shuffling to the stairs. “I’ll head to Hydren to get ready for Cassia and that Lucario. See if you can find a good location to summon Hoopa—along with somewhere more specific to search for the bottle.”

Gardner fingered his scar for a moment, then said, “You know she’s not going to listen to you.” Arthus stopped, remaining still. “She didn’t when she ran away.”

Arthus turned to face him, his shoulders slumped. “I…I can’t just leave her.” He continued down the stairs and exited, leaving Gardner to shake his head and sigh.

~~~~

Lawrence placed his paws behind his head, lying on the lush grass. He slept several yards away from Cassia, who slept rolled up in her blanket. The sounds of the sea soothed their minds, making them prepared for sleep.

Pulling out his Pokédex, he checked for a dimensional weakness, like he had done many times before, to no avail.

He put the Pokédex away, feeling strangely calm. ‘I’ll find one soon, I’m sure. Mom and Dad are probably wondering where I am, and Valence is probably trying to get me back. But I’ll make it home—soon, hopefully.” He yawned, stretching. ‘Erica’ll probably be wondering why she can’t find me.’ He paused, furrowing his brow. ‘Erica? Why her?’ He considered the thought, closing his eyes. “Cassia’s sort of like her, actually. They’re Arceists, they “wear” white, and they’re wanting me to change.’ He breathed out quickly. ‘But unlike Erica, Cassia isn’t irritating—most of the time. She’s rather nice, actually, especially compared to other Arceists. And she’s been the only person—Pokemon, I’ve felt like I could talk to in a while.’

He opened his eyes and stared at the sky. ‘I guess that’s something I’ll miss when I get back home: talking with Cassia. I doubt I’d find anyone else like her in Unova—even if they’re an Arceist.’

Lawrence held up a paw, gazing at it sadly. ‘But I wish I had my real body back. I’ve gotten used to moving around, but it still doesn’t feel…right.’ He shifted a bit and thought, ‘And I’d rather not have a tail.’

He yawned, setting aside these thoughts. ‘Hopefully I’ll change back when I find a way home.’

~~~~

Sunlight stretched across the beach once more, the Wingull rising from their nests to search for sustenance once more. The clear waters stretched to a thin plot of land dominated by wooden docks and buildings, a thin haze obscuring it from view.

Curled up on the ground some ways away, Lawrence mumbled about wanting to sleep more. He turned onto his back and opened his eyes—and stared right into Grom’s.

“Grom.”

“Gah!” Lawrence shouted, scrambling back. The Golurk made a halting chuckle, standing straight.

Lawrence stood up and exclaimed, “Again, you sneak up on me! I don’t get it!”

The Golurk lifted a finger to where his mouth would be. “Graw-hawm,” he stated, an eye’s light going out and turning on again, like a wink.

Lawrence gave him a studious look. “Cassia never told me how you got that break in your head. Do you remember how?”

Grom fingered the socket, sparking the revealed circuits. “Graw-awm,” he said, shaking his head.

Lawrence wondered why he bothered asking him these questions when all he could say were variations of his name, but he persisted still. “What’s the first thing you remember then?”

Grom thought for a moment, staring at Lawrence, then pointed at the blue-eyed Gardevoir drawing closer. “Gro-o-om.”

Cassia came between them, the supply bags in her arms. “What are you talking about?” she said, offering a bag to Lawrence.

Lawrence took the bag, noting how light it was. “Grom said the first thing he remembers is you. Can you maybe explain why?”

Grom and Cassia looked at each other for a moment, then Cassia grabbed Grom’s hand and said, “I found him serving a Guild captain north of here. He was essentially his bodyguard, and thanks to Arthus, became extremely powerful, so much that everyone in the town was frightened of him.” She pointed to the crack on Grom’s head. “Aleron came and bashed his head with a rock, causing part of it to come loose. He shut down afterward, but I came right when he woke up, then made me his master. He helped me stop the captain he served before and teach everyone there.” She laughed slightly, letting go of Grom’s hand. “He hasn’t been able to speak since then or remember anything either. He only remembers serving me.” She slapped him playfully, adding, “And you’ve done a great job of it for the past two years.”

Grom clapped his hands together, chortling. “Graw-haw-haw!” He leaned down and gave Cassia a slight hug, who hugged him back.

They straightened, and Cassia pointed to the buildings beyond. “We’ll pick up some supplies over in Hydren, then find someone who’ll ferry us to Cretea. There’s sure to be Pokémon there since the storms hit.” She turned to the town and began walking toward it, Grom following her.

Lawrence started as well and asked, “Wait, what happened? Storms?”

Cassia nodded. “Twenty years ago, when Arthus returned, a massive storm came. It created waves so large that they flooded entire islands, drowning everyone who lived on them.” She stared at the ground, tightening her grip on the strap of her bag. “I hope that Pokémon live there now. Twenty years is a long time, and it’s one of the few places that Arthus and the Guild don’t have control over. We’ll be safe from them once we’re there.”

 

[canisaries]

it's me and it's chapter 8 you know the drill here i gooo

Salt hung in the wind, stinging Lawrence and Cassia’s eyes and nose.

If I remember what they told me a few years ago in English class correctly and this source is to trust, there's a small mistake here. Apparently "Bob and Alice's cars" means cars Bob and Alice own together while "Bob's and Alice's cars" means a car owned by Bob and a separate car owned by Alice. In any case, "Lawrence and Cassia's nose" sounds like one nose being shared by two people, so maybe "Lawrence's" instead.

“Like pets?”

“Yeah...so?”

Cassia turned away, shaking her head. “Sorry, I just...have a hard time believing it. There’s hardly any wild Pokemon around here, so I don’t have a very good perspective.”

I'm... not sure how she would know what a pet is, then. Do civilized Pokemon keep wild Pokemon as pets enough for it to be a concept? I could see livestock, like Mareep for their wool, but not sure about pets.

He began walking toward her, studying a page on his Pokedex:

Through diverse means do I complete my work. The smallest of thorns proves more effective than the largest of fists against the mightiest of foes.

Quiet whispers ring louder than the loudest shouts; declare my word through persuasion and encouragement, not by force and compulsion, and great shall be your reward.

He shut off the Pokedex and awkwardly set it back in its case. The words rang true for what he remembered of the Arceists. It wasn’t...bad, per say. In fact, it felt rather nice to read such words.

Kind of expected the passages to be in Courier New like last time?

Lawrence looked at the flour, the berries, the sticks, the stones, and the bottle. He looked up with a smirk.

“I know what to do.”

aw hell yea i love rock stick bottle berry pie

Minutes later, Lawrence scraped a piece of flint against the spike on his paw, sending sparks into the air.

Huh, creative use of the new body.

Arthus snored on a patch of moss on a large plateau, avoiding the bothersome pebbles and depressions for his rest. Clouds covered the stars, blowing fine dust across the Usurper’s fur.

A plume of sand blew onto Arthus’ snout. He wrinkled his nose and snorted, sitting upright and rubbing his eyes. “Poor choice of location for a good night’s sleep.” He scratched the back of his neck, feeling his fur prickle. He yanked a lump, then widened his eyes as he discovered it was a writhing Joltik.

Arthus is, dare I say

adorable

The Golurk lifted a finger to where his mouth would be. “Graw-hawm,” he stated, an eye’s light going out and turning on again, like wink.

Ha, nice.

*a wink, though

---

Sorry that this post turned out pretty short, but I actually couldn't really come up with anything more to critique this time. I guess that means the rest is all good, then?

Really the only additional thing I can call attention to is the frequent use of the line breaks (or whatever these "~~~~" things are called again), but I'm not sure how they'd be circumvented, as they're in setting changes and time skips just as they're meant to be.

Welp, see ya soon.

 

[lucarioknight56]

@canisaries

Got the suggested changes done. On the Courier New thing, the text box actually doesn't detect font changes when I copy/paste, so I have to manually change them--which, as you may have noticed, I miss every so often. Part of the reason why I limit using that sort of change, unlike how I handled it in PMDFI, which was used to make character dialogue distinct. Never doing that again since it was too much of a hassle.

As for the matter of livestock, I haven't gone too in-depth about that, but it could make an interesting difference from the usual PMD world, more so in the prequel, Legends Awakened, as wild Pokemon are far more prevalent. Still, I did change Cassia's dialogue to better reflect her lack of knowledge.

Thanks for your comments, and I can't wait for everyone to read Chapter 09! The end of the act draws near, and I will say one thing: you will love at least one scene in there.

 

[canisaries]

Got the suggested changes done. On the Courier New thing, the text box actually doesn't detect font changes when I copy/paste, so I have to manually change them--which, as you may have noticed, I miss every so often. Part of the reason why I limit using that sort of change, unlike how I handled it in PMDFI, which was used to make character dialogue distinct. Never doing that again since it was too much of a hassle.

Oh, haha, yeah, that's always a pain. I personally do so that I put special markings in the raw document (such as marking all words to be italicized with *) whenever I write something with an effect. I do still have to remember to find (ctrl+f) and remove those markings when submitting on the forum, but there's a trick for that too: put a reminder at the very start of the chapter, so you're bound to see it when you copy-paste, and since it's at the start, you're unlikely to miss it.

The raw doc will look a bit silly as a result, but that's why I call it "raw" - I have separate docs for direct sharing. I also keep some behind-the-scenes notes and summaries in the raw doc which help me structure stuff properly and so on.