COMPLETE: [Teen] Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Unequivocant

[LightningTopaz]

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Plot: Even though there are two others in the series, I will give the author props for writing something the audience can understand without having to read the others in the series. The prologue grabbed me right away, and immediately left me curious as to who the Usurper and Arthus were.

Once we find out who Arthus is, and how ruthless he can be, it makes me wonder who will rise up and defeat him--will the little Zorua turn against the only master he has ever known in the end, a la Star Wars? Or will another hero--the human-turned Pokemon--likely rise up to battle him?

Setting: From the get go, we know that this is definitely not the PMD you remember, and at times the story almost reads like The Lord of the Rings, filled with exotic place names and cataclysmic events. This is a bit of a double-edged sword, however--many times there is so much description, that I forgot the original being or item being described.

The Unova depicted here is obviously not the Unova you adventured through in BW and BW 2, which gives the author room to make the region their own--which they have, in grand fashion.

Characterization: This is both the story's biggest strength and biggest weakness--the characters are big and bold, and Arthus felt like Ghestis incarnated in Pokemon form (which is only fitting considering the human world is set in Unova). But this is also a double edged sword--the characters can sometimes come off as near caricatures in all their boldness and brashness.

Style: The story grabs you, and never lets go--there are quite a lot of twists and turns in just the prologue alone. By the time we finally get to breathe once we see the human world, we already have hundreds of questions about this world, and how the human-turned-Pokemon will affect it. My biggest concern was a lot of similar sounding names for characters--while the author has taken steps to correct this, it is still something to keep in mind and be aware of, so as not to confuse the audience.

I would also advise toning down the description just a little bit--while the descriptions were very vivid and detailed, they felt a little TOO detailed.

Technical: Just a few minor missing words here and there, but nothing that's a real deal breaker.

Overall, a very solid story that is shaping up to be PMD on an epic scale--in fact, it may be a good idea for the author to dial back some of the brashness and boldness, and work in more moments of quiet and levity. Regardless, I'm excited to see where this story goes!

 

[lucarioknight56]

Chapter 09: Revelation

Drafty towers of wood rose into the air, shaking slightly in the brisk, salty wind. Wild Wingull soared overhead, above the throngs of Pokémon crossing back and forth, carrying nets and wagons full of assorted food and supplies. The walkways, dark and filthy with mud, were filled with clamor and shouts, a dull haze of smoke hanging overhead.

Lawrence wrinkled his nose, covering it. “Salt. You just can’t get away from it.”

“It's good for Grom’s joints. He’s going to have a fun time in the sand while we get ready,” Cassia replied, pulling out her sketchbook. “Let’s see...we need to get supplies before we leave, but I’m not sure how we’ll do that without any money…”

She flipped back to a previous page, glancing at a picture. Lawrence set his paw in front of it and said, “I have an idea.”

~~~~

Cassia scraped the finishing touches onto the paper with her charcoal, then held it out for an aged Ninetales to see. “What do you think?”

The Ninetales scrutinized it, then nodded her head happily. “It looks lovely! Here, I’ll give you something for the trouble.” She craned back toward a sack that hung around her back while Cassia carefully tore the paper free of the binding.

The Ninetales held the sack out to Cassia, allowing the drawing to be carefully slipped into a pouch at her side. She walked off, and Cassia returned to Lawrence, who leaned against a wall with his arms crossed, a smirk across his face.

“I told you it would work,” he commented.

Cassia picked through the coins inside, giving him a knowing look. “You don’t have to rub it in.” She looked back to the bench she sat on before, saying, “I don’t normally sell my drawings, since I don’t think they look much good.”

“Who’re you kidding? They look amazing!” Lawrence exclaimed. “Back when I was in school, I saw plenty of people draw, but none of them were as great as you!”

Cassia blushed, pushing back her hair. “You really think so?”

“Hey, I’m done telling lies.” Lawrence took the sack and peeked inside, his eyes widening. “Yikes, I wasn’t expecting that much. You think this is enough?”

Cassia nodded her head, putting the book back and accepting the coins. “I think it should be. We probably have enough to even eat somewhere, if we wanted to.”

Lawrence surveyed the many buildings, pointing at one with an enormous fish-shaped sign. “Why not there? It looks like they have good stuff to eat.” The sign, labeled ‘The Greasy Feebas’ advertised gourmet meals—caught fresh daily, in fact. ‘Rather odd for berries,’ Lawrence thought.

Cassia leaned away a bit, leering at the doorway. A Machoke burst out of the doors and threw a Raichu out, the unfortunate rodent landing in a pile of mud. “And don’ come back!” the Machoke harrumphed, stomping back inside.

The Raichu carelessly popped out of the mud and staggered up, hiccupping and giggling. “It was only a teensy shock. Heh.” He bumbled between Cassia and Lawrence, the Gardevoir careful not to get mud on her dress.

Lawrence cringed, shrugging. “You might get some opportunities?” He lowered his arms, sweeping the area once more. “Besides, it doesn’t look like there’s anywhere else around.”

Cassia groaned, stepping ahead of him. “I’m starving, so let’s just go in and get some food. Better make it quick, as I really prefer to stay out of places like this.” Lawrence followed, and they pushed into the chaos.

Pokémon of all shapes and sizes crowded around tables, talking loudly amongst each other with food and drinks sitting in front of them. Low-hanging lanterns provided dim illumination, the orange reflected in the many bottles that lay tucked behind the barkeep Ambipom, who glumly rubbed glasses with a dirty rag. Sitting next to the counter in front of the barkeep were several Pokémon swigging from bottles, while in the back of the establishment, a Machamp was swamped by his Machoke cronies, cackling as he boasted of his feats.

Cassia remained close to Lawrence, looking about the room with a fearful expression. Shoulders tensed, Lawrence walked up to the counter, and the Ambipom shuffled over.

The Ambipom set aside the glass and crossed his tails. “Welcome to the Greasy Feebas, best Cheri Juice this side o’ the Xilo Mountains. Name’s Lonny; what can I do ya for?”

Lawrence veered away from a Sableye snoring to his right. “What do you have?”

Lonny sighed, rolling his eyes. “Great, a newbie.” He leaned on the counter, staring at Lawrence. “See here, Watchog. Here at the Greasy Feebas, we don’ serve just the usual bread and berry stuff. Nah, we serve yah fish, caught from the deep just this mornin’. If you got a problem with that, beat it.”

Lawrence blanched, turning away and glancing at Cassia. He came closer and whispered, “Is that a usual thing around here?”

Cassia nodded, then whispered back, “Wild Pokémon are pretty scarce on land, but the ocean’s full of them. I remember reading that Arceus considers it wise to eat wild Pokémon since it is no different than them eating Pokémon.”

Lawrence nodded slowly, making sense of it. ‘Not a usual thing back home. Tried a fish once, though, and it tasted pretty good.’ He turned back to Lonny and said, “I’ll take the catch of the day, whatever it is.”

Lonny held out a tail, flexing his fingers. “Four coins for you and Miss Blue-Eyes.” Cassia averted her eyes, turning away.

Lawrence took the sack from her fleeting grip and slapped the coins into the Ambipom’s tail. Lonny pulled it back and stuffed it into a jar. “Lucille, double fish-fry, mediums!”

There was a rousing crash from the window behind him, and a scowling Ambipom peered through. “Alright, alright, I got it! Not like I need anything else to do!” She pounded the wall again, muttering something unintelligible.

Lonny gestured to the window, shaking his head. “She cooks, I take care a’ the business…it’s a workin’ agreement.” He gestured to two empty seats. “The tables are all full, so you’ll just have to deal with my ugly mug till yer food’s ready.” Lawrence and Cassia took their seats, the Sableye next to them snorting.

Lonny reached back to the bottles with a tail, continuing to stare at Lawrence, disinterested. “Drinks are on the house, thanks to that big galoot over there.” He pointed at the raucous Machamp, the heavyweight lifting a table with a single finger.

Lonny slapped the counter and roared, “Oi, hands off the furniture!” The Machamp and his cronies laughed as he slammed the table on the floor, lounging back into his seat.

Frowning, Lonny turned back to Lawrence. “Those boys are Guild guys lookin’ to have a little fun ‘fore they head north for Cambeta. Don’t see their sort around here otherwise.” He grabbed a glass and began polishing it with a rag, sighing. “Have to treat ‘em like Legends when they’re around. I’d throw ‘em out, but I’d rather not get on ole Gardner’s bad side.”

“That’s ‘because you haven’t got a spine!” Lucille spat from the kitchen.

Lonny flinched, shaking his head. “Ach, she’s in a bad mood. Doesn’t help that we have bouncin’ baby Aipom either.” He grabbed a bottle, studying the contents. “Want some Cheri Juice? Oran Pulp? I got the whole caboodle.”

Cassia tapped Lawrence’s shoulder and whispered. “Careful what you pick. Try and pick something that’s less…potent, or you’ll end up loopier than that Raichu.”

Lawrence nodded, glancing at the many drinks the Ambipom had to offer. He pointed at a dull yellow bottle. “What’s that one?”

Lonny plucked it from a shelf and sneered. “This? We keep it for the kids, since they can’t handle the adult stuff.” He shook it, watching the air bubble out of it. “Pinap juice. So sweet, one sniff’ll give you a cavity.” He held it up and shook it again. “You really want it?”

“Considering I’d prefer to keep my head, yes,” Lawrence replied, gritting his teeth.

Lonny shrugged, taking his freshly-polished glass and pouring a draught of the sickly-sweet substance. He set it down in front of Lawrence, giving Cassia a sly nod. “And what will you be havin’ today?”

“Nothing, thank you,” she replied, eyeing Lonny warily.

Lucille peeked through the window again, harrumphing. “You ain’t talkin’ to another girl again, are ya?”

Lonny backed away from Cassia, turning his head toward Lucille. “I’m not, I’m not. Don’t think I didn’t learn last time.”

His wife shoved two plates out the window and dinged a small bell next to it. “Fish fry ready, come and get it!” She stomped off, muttering about checking on the baby.

Lonny took the plates with his tails and placed them in front of Cassia and Lawrence. Lawrence stared at the singed Basculin, which stared back with dull eyes.

Lonny smirked and shuffled to the corner of the counter. “Enjoy.”

Cassia picked up the Basculin, studying it. “I’ve eaten fish before, but not for a while.”

Lawrence picked up his own Basculin, saying, “We try it at the same time. That’s fair, right?”

They nodded, and bit into the softened flesh. It was slightly sweet and buttery, along with a heavy salty flavor. Overall, not too bad.

Lawrence took another bite eagerly, relishing it. Lonny stepped back over, grinning. “I’ll give your compliments to the chef. The missus always likes that.”

“Hey Two-Tail!”

The barkeep ducked as a bottle flew toward him, shattering against the open wall. He glared at the direction it came from, where the Machamp impatiently crossed his arms.

“Me and my buddies need some drinks. The good stuff,” the Machamp growled, his black armband stretched thin over his top-left arm. His Machoke companions agreed, making hearty cheers for their leader.

“A pleasure serving you, Mored, as always,” Lonny sighed, turning to Lawrence and mouthing, “Not really.” He took a tray and loaded it with five bottles, one of them the dull yellow from before.

He walked to the edge and lifted the counter, moving toward Mored and his Machoke. Lawrence and Cassia enjoyed their meals and had nearly finished eating the Basculin.

“Blech!”

The Machamp threw the yellow bottle at Lonny, who narrowly ducked again, allowing it to smash against the wall, the liquid dribbling down.

Mored stamped toward the heavy-eyed Ambipom and spat, “That stuff tasted like you stuffed a Spritzee in a bottle. What’s the big idea?”

Lonny shrugged, continuing his walk back to the counter. “You never said what strong stuff you liked. I thought you meant sweet.”

Mored grabbed his tails, yanking back the Ambipom. Cringing, Lonny stared at the infuriated eyes of the Machamp. The Guild Pokémon jabbed a finger at him and said, “You’re going to regret that. Maybe it’s time I threw somebody out for a change, eh boys?” The Machoke behind him cackled, slapping each other’s backs hysterically.

Lawrence pounded the counter, catching the Machamp’s attention. The Lucario twisted and leaned against it, while Cassia stood up, stepping away.

“How often are you around, Mored?” Lawrence asked.

The Machamp released Lonny’s tails and scowled at the Lucario. “Every few months. Why you askin’, punk?”

Lawrence nodded sagely, turning his gaze to Lonny, who twisted his tails fearfully. “And do you treat your host like this every time?”

“None a’ your business. I treat him how I like, and he don’t complain.” Mored raised fist toward Lonny. “Ain’t that right?”

“Well…” Lawrence swirled his Pinap juice and took a sip, pausing to prevent a wry face from overcoming him, the overpowering sweetness proving too strong for his tastes. “I know a friend who doesn’t like Pokémon like you. He likes to make sure that bullies like you don’t hurt others.” He set down his glass and smirked. “I think I’ll take a page from his book today, and this time, I won’t mess up.”

The Machamp stared for a moment, then grinned. “And what are you gonna do? Slap me with those tiny paws of yours, Watchog?”

Lawrence shook his head. “Arm wrestle.”

Mored broke into uproarious laughter, his comrades following him. After a minute, Mored wiped a faux tear from his eye and wheezed, “Oi, yer a funny one alright. Tell ya what: You win, I’ll let myself get thrown out, and if I win, well…” He cracked his knuckles. “I’ll have some fun with you as a new training dummy. I’ll give ya ten seconds to back out since you made me laugh.”

Cassia rushed to Lawrence and hissed, “Are you crazy? He’s a Machamp. He’ll break your arm faster than you can blink!”

Lawrence sat in front of a now-empty table, around which the other patrons stood waiting for the match. “I’m sure I can beat him. Besides, we can’t let him be around; the Guild’s sure to send someone like this guy to stop us from leaving,” he whispered back.

“Isn’t there something else you could do?”

“If there’s one thing I know about Machamp, they only listen to force.” Lawrence remembered watching two Machamp duel each other to settle an argument. Up until that point, they refused to budge on their viewpoints, but once one stood victorious, the other complied. Strength talked in Machamp society.

Mored held up his hands. “Take your pick. You’ll lose either way.”

Lawrence pointed at his top-right arm. “Good luck with the bad angle.”

Mored grimaced, leaning down and holding out the arm. “Got a smart mouth, dontcha?”

Lawrence accepted the hand, tightening his grip. “It helps when I’m surrounded by guys like you all the time.” As they got into position, Lawrence thought, ‘Can’t be worse than those supply movers I beat back in Unova—at least, now that I’m a Lucario.’

Lonny came over and held a rag over their arms. “Alright boys, don’t think this isn’t the first time this happened. Mored, you know the rules: no breakin’ arms, poppin’ shoulders…none of your funny business; I’ve talked with yer captain before, and he don’t appreciate it.” Mored gave him a slight nod, then grinned at Lawrence.

Lonny cleared his throat and waved the rag. “Have at it.” Lawrence and Mored pushed against each other, the Machamp’s muscles rippling as they fought for control.

Mored’s arm began pushing Lawrence’s down, and the Machoke whooped in his favor. The Lucario clenched his teeth, pushing it back up. ‘Nope…nope, this guy’s worse!’

He felt something brush against his leg, but he didn’t care; he had to focus on pushing Mored back, especially since his own arm was beginning to be pushed down again.

It now stood centimeters away from the table, and Mored grunted, “Yer strong alright…but not like me…”

“No…” Lawrence grunted, feeling warmth flow up from his leg into his arm. His arm wavered near the edge of the table, nearly sealing his fate. ‘This…this thug…I can’t…let him win. He’s no better…than Team Rocket…a giant bully…exactly what I dealt with…back in Sinnoh!’

He felt a spike of warmth and shouted, “No!” His arm shot upward and slammed Mored’s down, flipping the Machamp onto his side and upending the table. Stunned silence followed.

Mored gave Lawrence an astonished look, then growled, rubbing his losing arm. “You cheated. I had it in the bag.”

Lawrence rolled his shoulder, amazed that he ended up winning. “Well, that goes to show that the Guild isn’t as tough as I thought it’d be.”

The Machamp came to his feet and reared back his arms. “Why you sly little—gurk!”

He suddenly flopped to the floor with Lonny’s tails around his legs, the Ambipom now glaring at him. “Hey, you had a deal: he wins, you get thrown out.” He lifted the Machamp with a grunt, then with a whirl, threw Mored out the door, the Machamp landing with a splat in the mud.

The Machoke rushed toward their leader, while Lonny came up to Lawrence and shook his paw with his arms. “You finally gave me an excuse to do that. Thanks for getting rid of him.”

Lawrence nodded, catching Cassia’s hand move from his leg as he glanced down. “Don’t mention it. I just want to make sure everyone gets treated fairly is all.”

Lonny laughed, nodding his head. “Yeah, well, you did good at that. Those Guild Pokémon have been getting a little too pushy lately.” He walked behind the counter and waved a tail. “I think you ought to get goin’ now; ole Mored will come to his senses sooner or later you know.”

Cassia nodded her head briefly and lead Lawrence out the door. “Thanks for the food!”

As Lawrence and Cassia left, the Sableye suddenly perked up and moaned, “I’m gonna get tha’ ole Rhydon. You’ll see.” His head banged against the table.

Lonny leaned down to him with a smirk. “Hey, Jerry.” The Sableye twisted his head, revealing a single cracked eye. “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but ole Mored don’t like yer story.”

Jerry shot up and screeched, holding up a claw. “I’m gonna kill you!” He darted out the door and screeched again.

Amongst shouts of pain and astonishment, Mored cried out, “What’d I do to you?”

Lonny chuckled to himself, straightening chairs and cleaning a table. “Glad to see those bozos gone.”

“Landon, get in here! The baby needs feeding!” Lucille roared, a spoon flying out the window and banging into the back of Lonny’s head.

The Ambipom sighed, shaking his head as he pushed into the kitchen, his tails drooping. “And just like that, moment’s gone.”

The door burst open and a shrieking Sableye flew towards Lonny. He ducked, watching the unfortunate ghost crash into a table and groan. Lonny shook his head and entered the kitchen.

~~~~

“And then I just started feeling really strong, like I had some sort of battery! It was weird!” Lawrence exclaimed, walking with Cassia through the market area.

Cassia nodded absentmindedly, searching the stalls for what they would need. “Yeah, real weird. Want to help out?”

“Sure, why not?” Lawrence replied. They moved toward a Bibarel’s food stall, while Lawrence tried to pinpoint how that surge of energy could have come about. ‘I felt like that before when Aleron used his Life on me.’ He considered the possibilities. ‘Was he in the room? Invisible? Maybe a different look? I couldn’t tell.’

He left these thoughts to barter with the old Bibarel, hoping to catch her goods for a decent price.

~~~~

Grom sat on the coastline across Hydren, scooping handfuls of sand and pouring them over his shoulders, relishing the gritty smoothness that his joints received afterward. Chuckling, he threw a huge plume of sand above him, listening to the clinks of the grains across his metallic frame. The sunset reflected across several of the grains, flashing in the sun.

“Having a good time?”

He swiveled his head behind him, noticing a cloaked figure watching from the top of a small hill. The cloak covered everything but the black legs beneath.

“I hope you have. I will need your help.”

Grom stood up, stomping his feet. “Gro-graw-hawm?”

The figure stepped back slightly. “Come on, you know me. I’m back to help you and Cassia.”

Grom’s eyes glowed more fiercely, as well as the cracks along his body. “Hawm…”

“You need proof. Very well.” The figure held out a black paw, and a burst of blue flame erupted from it, causing the Golurk to flinch.

Grom’s light dulled, and the giant stared dumbfoundedly at who stood before him. The figure began walking away, and Grom followed.

Looking back slightly, the figure nodded. “Good, I’ve made my point. I’ll need you farther up, so just keep following me.” His silver tail swished back and forth, continuing to reflect in the evening light.

~~~~

Lawrence hefted his bag, now completely full of supplies needed for their overseas trip to Cretea. No Guild Pokémon, not even Mored Machamp, had come to stop them. It looked like that they would be able to go without worrying about any sort of interference.

Cassia walked ahead of him, exclaiming, “I’ve asked around and found out that the only ferry left is owned by Charles Lapras. He hasn’t come out for a while, but they say that he always works for a reasonable price.”

“Good thing too; we’re nearly out of the money that Ninetales gave us.”

“I still find it hard to believe that she gave us so much.”

“Well, it’s a good thing she did. Do you think Grom will fit?”

“Ferries are supposed to be pretty large. I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

They stepped onto the pier, the sun below the horizon, providing the briefest rays of light across the ocean. The aged wooden planks stood on narrow poles rising from the water, coated with algae and relatively stable on the rocks below. All wind had stopped blowing the boats bobbing in the waves, along with the boathouses protecting both Pokémon and their crafts within.

They came to one such boathouse with a large sign emblazoned with a Lapras head, smiling above the name ‘Charles’ in faded letters. The structure was attached to the pier with large beams, a single, low-roofed dwelling that looked to have several rooms. Parts of the wall sunk into the water, with the back having a small tunnel leading into it.

Cassia knocked on the door, causing it to swing in with a creak. She and Lawrence looked at each other, bewildered.

“I guess he’s not able to close it himself,” Lawrence noted, going inside without another thought. Cassia looked around suspiciously, then entered, failing to notice the shadow slipping inside after them.

Lawrence studied Charles’ home. Aged relics from beneath the sea—ranging from ship instruments to unique shells—covered the shelves, difficult to see thanks to the low light. Along the walkway, a channel of water wound, leading into the different rooms, each with a light curtain blocking two entrances—one on the dock, and one in the water. The channels had a thick wooden bottom beneath them, deep enough for a sizeable Pokémon.

Lawrence inspected a picture showing a Lapras tugging a raft loaded with a group of Pokémon, looking back at them with a smile. Standing amongst the Pokémon was a Lucario, only with strange, silver fur.

Before Lawrence could ask, a sharp snap came from a different room. He drew his paws close and exclaimed, “Hello? Is anyone home?”

Cassia stood behind him, holding her bag tightly. “Lawrence, something isn’t right.” The door slammed closed, making them jump. The handle fell against the floor, broken.

A shape whooshed around; a low chuckle accompanied it. Lawrence searched wildly, pacing around the room. “Who’s there? Where are you hiding?”

“Oh, I’m not hiding, Lucario.” Lawrence shot back into the wall, and his Watchog illusion dissipated.

“Lawrence!” Cassia cried, running to his side.

“Ah, so that’s his name. Would he have anything to do with this strange creature that’s been following you?” the voice asked.

Cassia paled as she helped Lawrence to his feet. “No…”

A graying Zoroark materialized in front of them, holding up his braceleted arm with a smirk. “Yes, my dear. We haven’t seen each other for a long time, have we?”

“Wait, what?” Lawrence exclaimed. He turned to Cassia and said, “You know him?”

Arthus cocked his head in confusion. “Why of course she does! I mean, don’t you see—” He cut himself short, then smiled. “Oh…she hasn’t told you…or shown you either.” He laughed, wiping a faux tear from his eye. “Oh, this is rich! You have to be the densest Lucario I’ve met!”

A vein throbbed in Lawrence’s head. “And you’ve got to be the most unhinged Zoroark I’ve met, Arthus.”

He stopped, holding his chin. “Ah, so she told you about me. Have you actually met any other Zoroark?” Cassia shrunk away, searching desperately for an exit—but all the doors had their knobs broken.

Lawrence thrust a paw out at him and shouted, “Yeah, Aleron, your descendant! He’s been helping the Pokemon you’ve been killing off!”

Arthus laughed once more, and Cassia drew closer to Lawrence, whispering, “We have to leave, now. He’s going to kill you!”

“Yes, despite my amusement, you have to come out of the picture,” Arthus added. He turned to Cassia with a half-hearted smile. “Despite hiding from me for all these years, my door is still open to you.”

Cassia scowled and held her arms out. “There’s a reason I’ve run from murderers like you, Arthus.”

Arthus sighed, holding up a hand and causing a sphere of erratic, crimson Life to gather. “We’ll see about that.” He grinned and aimed the sphere at Lawrence. “Regardless, all Lucario must die.” The Life Sphere shot from his palm toward Lawrence’s chest.

Lawrence rolled to the ground, narrowly dodging the sphere. As it shot through the wall to the outside, he scrambled to his feet and ran for Arthus with a yell, his paws curled into fists. He threw a punch at the Zoroark’s face, but he deftly dodged it and circled around him. Lawrence threw a fist again, only Arthus caught it and twisted his arm, forcing him to his knees with a scream. Arthus leaned down and gouged his claws into Lawrence’s leg.

The Lucario gasped and clutched the wound, gritting his teeth. Arthus cackled, grabbing Lawrence’s dreadlocks and yanking him up. “Is this really what I’m up against? Not even a glimpse of Aura?”

Cassia ran around Arthus, digging into her bag. “Lawrence, I’m trying to help, but—”

Arthus twisted his head and tutted disapprovingly. “What’s the matter? Too frightened to attack your teacher?”

Lawrence cried out, pulling at Arthus’ claws. “What?”

Arthus turned to Lawrence and held his ear next to his lips. “Why yes. She happens to be—auck!”

Cassia swung her bag into Arthus’ head, sending him to the ground and releasing Lawrence from his grip. He clutched his bleeding leg, calling out, “Cassia, help me!”

The Gardevoir ran to him and hesitantly held her hand out. “Quick, before he—”

Arthus grabbed Cassia and pushed her aside, sending her against the wall. “I can’t have you taking him away; as much as I hate doing this with you here, I have to!” He held his claws high over Lawrence, red mist flowing from them. The Lucario struggled to stand, but the searing pain in his leg prevented him from moving more than a few inches.

Cassia grabbed his arm and pulled it down, crying out, “No! No, you’re better than this!”

Arthus tried to shake her off, saying, “You don’t understand! You never will!”

Cassia grabbed Arthus’ other arm and pinned it behind him. “I do understand, and it’s all thanks to you!”

Arthus yowled and pried himself from Cassia’s grip, then threw him off his other arm into the shelves set in the center of the room. She crashed into them and caused them to collapse, creating a thick cloud of dust and knocking her bag from her shoulder. It landed in the center of the room, spilling its contents onto the floor—including a leather bag with a white mask set within.

Arthus froze, putting a hand over his mouth. Lawrence, however, crawled into the dust cloud and cried, “Cassia!” He grunted as he came to his feet, limping over the fallen decorations to find her.

Lawrence coughed in the dust cloud, pawing for Cassia. “Where are you?”

Something grabbed his paw, and Cassia’s voice replied, “I’m here! Take us out!”

Lawrence complied, steadily going back through the dust cloud as to avoid hitting anything. He made it to the clear air, then looked down at his enclosed paw.

Red claws covered it.

“Gah!” Lawrence threw away the claws, watching them retreat into the dust. Arthus looked on, a smile creeping across his face.

Lawrence stepped closer warily. “Who are you? Where’s Cassia?”

The dust settled, and a Zoroark stood in front of Lawrence, claws held up in astonishment. Covered in dust, sleek grey fur covered its body, with a puff of black on its chest. The red mane hung off its head like a great crimson cloud, a jeweled bead keeping it tied at the end. The claws—fine daggers—partially covered the bright-blue eyes—which looked remarkably like Cassia’s.

Lawrence squinted his eyes, then said in surprise, “Aleron?”

The Zoroark looked up sadly. “Lawrence...it’s me.”

The Lucario’s eyes widened, recognizing the bright-blue eyes of the Zoroark. “Cassia?” She nodded shamefully.

He shook his head, stepping back. “No. That can’t be right. She’s a Gardevoir, you’re...a Zoroark! You’re like—him!” He turned briefly to Arthus and snapped back. He breathed in sharply. “Your eyes…they look exactly like his!”

Cassia came closer, pulling back her limbs. “Please, believe me! I--I had to keep it a secret, for safety, for--”

“While it’s nice to see my little girl being honest, I’m afraid I have other plans.” Arthus held up the Arceist Tome with one hand and held a Life-fueled fire underneath it. He started lowering it down. “Oh, how I’ve wanted to do this.”

Cassia leapt past the stunned Lawrence and grabbed hold of the tome. “No! You can’t!”

Arthus grimaced, pulling back the book. “This book’s affected you worse than I imagined!” He focused the fire in his free hand toward the tome. “There’s only one way to set you right!”

Cassia grabbed Arthus’ other hand with her own covered in red mist, extinguishing the flame. “You’re just too twisted to see the truth!”

As they fought for the book, Lawrence stood still, astonished. ‘How…how could she do this? She hid everything from me—even after I told her about me! How much more did she lie about? How can I even trust her?’

Arthus roared and kicked back Cassia, sending her to the ground. “You’ve forced my hand!” He ignited another fire in his palm and threw it against the Tome, instantly incinerating the book.

Cassia reached out for the ashes futilely, weakening. “No!” She caught some in her palms and held them close, closing her eyes as her throat grew tight. “No…”

Arthus grimaced, brushing past her and toward Lawrence. “It’s…it’s for your own good.” He grabbed Lawrence’s neck and set him against the opposite corner, leaving Cassia to cry over the burned Arceist Tome.

Lawrence struggled against Arthus’ grip, prying at his hands. Arthus tightened his claws around Lawrence’s throat, making him gasp and struggle harder. Arthus shook his head in disappointment. “This is pathetic. I expected far more from you, and you can’t even use Aura. You should’ve been able to spot me outside, or even counter my Life.” He reared back his claws, his eyes glowing red. “At least it makes finishing you off even easier.”

A dull roar thrummed in the air, causing him to stop. His ears twitched as he attempted to source the sound, eventually turning to the wall on his left. “What in Equivos—”

CRASH!!

An onyx Golurk burst through the wall and threw Arthus away from Lawrence and through the opposite wall. He flew into the water with a cry and sank beneath the surface.

Lawrence pressed himself into the corner, inches away from the Golurk. The automaton turned to him and his eyes flashed. “Grawm?”

Lawrence’s eyes widened. “Grom? How in the world did you get here?”

“Thanks to me, and thank Arceus I intervened.”

Lawrence turned to the door and his mouth hung open. A Lucario with silver fur stood in the doorway, wearing leather clothing and a broad-brimmed hat. He tipped it to Lawrence and nodded his head. “I’ll save the introductions for later; Arthus won’t be stopped by a bit of water.” He knelt next to Cassia the Zoroark and gathered her remaining belongings into her bag. She didn’t seem to notice, still staring at the remains of the Tome.

Grom pulled himself inside the house and revealed a large wooden raft outside, complete with a hut set in the center. He held Lawrence in his arms and carried him outside, ignoring the Lucario’s lack of response.

The silver Lucario tapped Cassia’s shoulder, stirring her from her trance and causing her to look at him. Her eyes grew wide as she dropped the ashes. “Matheus?”

The Lucario nodded his head. “Good to see you again.” He pulled her up and hurriedly dragged her to the raft. “Now come on! I don’t want to be here when he comes back?” He leapt through the hole in the wall and entered the open hut, where Lawrence sat on a cot. He tossed Cassia’s bag to the floor and shouted, “Hit it!”

Grom shuffled to the roof and grabbed the sides. His feet sputtered slightly, then erupted with bursting red flame, jetting them across the water and to the south, hugging the coastline as they made way to the archipelago of Cretea.

Seconds after they rocketed away, Arthus erupted from the water and landed on the pier, coughing and sputtering. He fell on his back and seethed, “Curse that Golurk!” He caught movement toward the south and saw a raft speeding away, with Grom thrusting it forward. Barely visible was a silver-furred figure within the doorway of the hut.

Water dribbled down Arthus’ grimace as he stood up. “Matheus.” He held up a crimson flame ,causing the water on his palm to steam. “You want to taunt me further, Arceus? Fine.” He threw the ball of fire into the house, causing an ever-growing fire to consume it. He stomped off the pier as the fire spread, his ice-blue eyes glowing red.

“I’ll just take him with the Seal first.”
-------
...Gotcha good, didn't I?

 

[canisaries]

Chapter 9! Let's take a look.

Arthus reached out from below the ground, groaning and shaking free of the soil. At last he freed himself, then looked out on the vast expanse of grass and trees.

Cool scene, but it's pretty hard to tell what's happening and why when you go in right off the bat.

He walked through the grass, plucking off the heads of the daisies he passed.

hahhaha this guy XD

Cassia picked through the coins inside, giving him a knowing look. “You don’t have to rub it in.” She looked back to the bench she sat on before, saying, “I don’t normally sell my drawings, since I don’t think they look much good.”

“Who’re you kidding? They look amazing!” Lawrence exclaimed. “Back when I was in school, I saw plenty of people draw, but none of them were as great as you!”

chapter 10: cassia makes a twitter and gets 36 users begging for free art during the first hour

Lonny sighed, rolling his eyes. “Great, a newbie.” He leaned on the counter, staring at Lawrence. “See here, Watchog. Here at the Greasy Feebas, we don’ serve just the usual bread and berry stuff. Nah, we serve yah fish, caught from the deep just this mornin’. If you got a problem with that, beat it.”

Lawrence blanched, turning away and glancing at Cassia. He came closer and whispered, “Is that a usual thing around here?”

It's weird that Lawrence would see a fish-shaped sign and assume food but not expect there to be fish? Unless he thought it had food for some other reason, but it definitely reads like he thought fish=>food.

Cassia nodded, then whispered back, “Wild Pokemon are pretty scarce on land, but the ocean’s full of them. I remember reading that Arceus considers it wise to eat wild Pokemon, as we are little more since it is no different than them eating Pokemon.”

it's the CIIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIFE and it MOOOVES US ALLLL

Anyway, glad to see this addressed and in a sensible way too.

Lonny flinched, shaking his head. “Ach, she’s in a bad mood. Doesn’t help that we have an egg waitin’ to hatch either.”

aww :3 that's so cute

This bar setting in general is very colorful, entertaining and likable. Maybe cliche, but an enjoyably so.

“If there’s one thing I know about Machamp, they only listen to force.” Lawrence remembered watching two Machamp duel each other to settle an argument. Up until that point, they refused to budge on their viewpoints, but once one stood victorious, the other complied. Strength talked in Machamp society.

Fitting for Lawrence to know this, being a behavior specialist and all!

Grom sat on the coastline across Hydren, scooping handfuls of sand and pouring them over his shoulders, relishing the gritty smoothness that his joints received afterward. Chuckling, he threw a huge plume of sand above him, listening to the clinks of the grains across his metallic frame. The sunset reflected across several of the grains, flashing in the sun.

I like sand. It's course and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

“You’re eyes…they look exactly like his!”

*your

his eyes glaring into the soulless black fabric that made up the eyes.

oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i get it now

He pulled Gardner into Charles’ shack and toward the remains of the Houndoom, snapping his fingers. Red tendrils poked up around them, wrapping around them with a squelch.

*whispers* nice

---

Okay, here's a totally separate section just for that twist alone: sadly, I accidentally caught a glimpse of two very important words while scrolling up from the text editor to where I left off so I guess I didn't get the 100% experience, BUT I can assure you that even then it sure was something.

Now, I could try to put it in words, but I feel like these Discord messages I posted live while reading summarize my reaction much better:

Spoiler

So yeah, you got me good

Anyway, that's it for this time. And what a great time it was - a very good place to end an arc on. See you again soon.

 

[lucarioknight56]

@canisaries

I'll get to work on the odd or unclear portions of the chapter. As for your reaction...well, I was expecting something like that. XD It's been the plan since the very beginning, as you could clearly see with the banner art. I am curious to know what two words you came across that partially ruined the twist.

As for the lore you mentioned in your Discord reaction, the next chapter actually won't be Chapter 10; it'll be a special first half of a side-story. It'll describe Cassia's origin and how she became the Priestess of Arceus. It isn't even fully finished yet, but I intend to have it done by tomorrow.

EDIT: I did change the second scene of Chapter 1 to better reflect the bonus chapter, and also to tug at your heartstrings a little more.

 

[diamondpearl876]

Hi, yes, it's me again, with post-awards feedback this time for the eligible chapters.

Plot

This story's just getting off the ground, so there's not much of one yet. Arthus (an antagonist from previous works in the series) is released from his confinement after 1,000 years or so, then swears revenge on those who have wronged him and his family, AKA the lucario species as a whole. That's the prologue/chapter 1.

In chapters 2 and 3, we shift gears a bit. I honestly think this is the very first PMD fic I've read that shows the human world, lol, and that's pretty great. Lawrence is a young man working for Valence Tech, and his boss asks him to help with a top secret project. Lawrence obliges, and in the span of the chapter, finds out about the Pokemon world where there's no humans, is asked to visit it and research Pokemon in real time, and launched into said Pokemon world. In the middle of shifting worlds, the technology malfunctions, and somehow, Lawrence's human body is turned into a lucario's. We've only seen a little bit beyond that in the chapters eligible for this round, where Lawrence meets up with some 'mons and works on his feet to understand his current situation.

Setting

There's a lot of things going here. There's lore about Arthus, there's Valence Tech and the differences between the human world and the Pokemon-only world, etc. The story's not had much chance to delve into it, but what's there is great. My only complaint is that a lot of this was crammed into a short span of time, so the details feel a tad too much. The beginning might've done well with a slower pace.

Characterization

This is a massive step up from what I read of Legends Unraveled and Forgotten Isles. Aside from Arthus having some cheesy antagonist dialogue at times, everyone feels distinct in the way they talk, the way they act, and so on. Lawrence is clearly more of a logic-driven man than an emotional one, considering how he bounced back from being turned into a lucario enough to actually pass as a real Pokemon; Cassia's character tackles religion from a Pokemon's perspective and isn't afraid to speak up for herself; Grom's a golurk that doesn't actually talk, but you can tell he's super protective of Cassia anyway.

Style

It's almost there. By that, I mean there's still some awkwardly written parts and pacing's off here and there, but overall? The author's got a solid grasp at painting a picture in the reader's head and including all kinds of little details to bring the world and characters to life.

Technical

There's some noticeable things, but it's clear the author's improved in this department, too.

 

[Ambyssin]

Hiya. New face here. I'm no fanfic expert, but I do like reading them. And I decided to go with this one first, since I like me some PMD stuff. You're welcome to read or ignore this at your leisure. Won't really make a difference to me. ^^;

As a whole, this is pretty entertaining so far. This is one of those PMD fics that strays very, very far from its source material. But that's not a bad thing! It seems like you've got some pretty original ideas going here. There's a lot of religious symbolism here. Mostly Christianity/Old Testament type stuff, if I'm not mistaken. While I'm a religious individual, that's not my faith, so it's interesting to see these crop up. I also got some strong vibes from, of all things, the Bayonetta series with this story. And religious symbolism is pretty highly present there. The Lucario/Zoroark conflict draws to mind the clash between Umbran Witches and Lumen Sages that serve as the centerpiece of that series' lore.

The world itself seems very big and has a lot going on. We've hit some varied locations already that are described in detail. The cities stuck out because they're a lot more developed than your typical PMD world; with bars and even slummier areas. There's also the haunted forest that gave me some strong mystical, otherworldy vibes. With that said, you do overdo it sometimes with the narration. I point this out below in my individual chapter thoughts (which are mostly my reactions as I was reading), but it feels like you're sometimes writing with a thesaurus on hand. Like, you're using overly-fancy words either to not sound repetitive, or to try and sound eloquent. But it's not entirely working, for me.

Which brings me to the characters. First off, full disclosure: I like Lucarios. I like Zoroarks. I routinely use them in my playthroughs of the main games. That said, I know they're, in a sense, overrated, and overmarketed by Game Freak, and can understand the hatedom that's developed for them. I mean, when you have a try-hard edgelord like Gladion rocking both Lucario and Zoroark, you know Game Freak's aware of this stuff. With that said, I can see how some folks might get turned off by the characters. Lucarios are these holy knight/almost-Jesus-like archetypes, while Arthus is not only a Satanic represenation, but playing the typical Zoroark stereotypes up loudly. Now, to be fair, you give him bits of humanizing characterization. But on the whole, his motivations are still a bit vague for me and he really just seems like an "Eee hee hee, I love being evil," villain. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But he's getting quite a lot of attention. And the fic starts with his easy victories over countless Lucarios and off-screen triumphs over Legendaries, I think.

On the flip side, we have Lawrence and Cassia. I expand upon some issues I have with both of them, below. In light of the ninth chapter, I'm definitely a lot more invested in the two of them than I was when I had started reading. Your handling of Lawrence is pretty interesting, though some of the narration surrounding him can get a bit preachy, especially when he's going into anti-Arceism mode. It also feels like he flips back and forth between stubborn/uncooperative and supportive of Cassia whenever the plot demands him to. I want to believe his lack of religious views are creating a serious conflict for him, but the narration hasn't sold me on that, at the moment. He seems more like a well-meaning guy whose lost his way, so to speak.

That's about all I can think of, generally speaking. In the spoilers, I've put some chapter-by-chapter thoughts, along with some typos, grammar things that I found as I was reading. Whether you read them or not is up to you, of course. Congrats on the stuff with the awards. I look forward to seeing how the next acts play out.

Spoiler

Ch 1
A villainous awakening scene is a good way to draw in an audience. The descriptions of this, uh, "grotesque metamorphosis," for lack of a better description, are quite vivid. I could argue that it may actually a bit too overdone. Like, that some parts of it seem like you opened up a thesaurus and tried to find some fancier words to throw in. But it actually wound up making the opening sentences drag a bit for me. This is clearly supposed to be a very sinister moment; a prelude to dark times, if you will. But sentences like "He opened his eyes, looking down at himself with his ice-colored irises," read rather stiff to me. Another example would be the "Mount of Rebirth." That doesn't really roll off the tongue. You could have "Mount Rebirth" or "Mountain of Rebirth" or "Rebirth Mountain," and those would all flow better, I think, then what you currently have. To give a contrast, I think the following conversation with Arthus and his descendent is much better, and really sent a chill down my spine. There isn't a lot bogging things down there. The conversation feels pretty natural, and reaches an unfortunate end. You also did manage to trick me with the illusionary Delphox bit; so I must've been sucked in if I fell for it. It seems like this second scene does a pretty decent job giving me an overview of Arthus' character. I know you're bringing him back from another story that you're going to rewrite later. From what he looks like, he's cruel, with an intense species hatred, but there does seem to be a bit of underlying trauma in regards to his childhood. Not sure what to make of him yet. Other than that, yeah, he's definitely evil. He murdered two folks in cold blood.

Okay, so the Zoroark's the baddie and the Lucarios are the good guys here. That's... well, loyal to their Dex entires. Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I'm okay with retreaded themes if it's still fun and entertaining. And Arthus is clearly putting on a show here. The life draining magic of his makes me a bit nervous. No idea where that came from, but that kind of magic will make him a tough foe to deal with. Arthus continues to be a jerk on his vengeance-fuelled rampage, here. Which, y'know, is fun to read. And then he drops tidbits like his son getting "taken," and I'm pretty confident he's not mentally well. It also turns out that Arthus goes on to commit genocide in the span of this opening chapter. That's... well that's a heck of a way to do it, I guess. I feel like some of these name-dropped Lucario were in past stories and that that might be heart-wrenching for, um, people who aren't new readers like me. In any event, the following bits with Arthus assembling his "legion of doom," so to speak, weren't very interesting for me. Especially in the Metagross' case, you might've done better to hold off on introducing him until he'd be relevant to the plot.

In any event, this was Arthus: The Chapter. Putting such intense focus on the villain like this can be a double-edged sword, in my opinion. I think you've gotten recognition (via awards) from him, though. So, who am I to judge? @.@

Ch 2

A languid hand tapped on a screen, ending the cacophony.

Okay, I'm going to have to stop you right here. Apologies if I sound blunt, but this line is overwritten. And it's starting the chapter! I'm no professional, but I find I can read faster (and get more out of a story) when the prose flows naturally. This doesn't flow. You wouldn't say this to someone in a conversation, for example. And I have a very hard time forming a picture of what's supposed to be going on here. Rather than pulling me in, it actually confuses me. ;~;

And it's a shame too, because this is certainly different. We've jumped into the Unova of canon... I think? (Not gonna lie, spoofing CNN doesn't really work when you call the spoof CNN.) But, still. Everything's modern. And we have Lawrence, here. Our run of the mill kind of guy. A lot of his introductory descriptions fall into showing as opposed to telling. Like, the narrator just straight-up tells he's a researcher rather than, say, having Lawrence look over at some notes he brought home from work on Project Babel. To me, that would have been a better way to come across and introduce that. Like, his conversation with his parents does a good job indirectly showing off some aspects of his character. Namely, his religious upbringing, his farm-owning folks, and that he doesn't seem like the warmest fellow. Which is reaffirmed (along with his atheism) when he meets Erica. That could be seen as a bit redundant, if I'm honest. But I liked it.

“Why’d you ask a question about Lucario? They aren’t all that complex behaviorally.”

Marcus shrugged. “I dunno, they’re cool I guess.”

*rests head on fist* Tell us how you really feel, lucarioknight. Sorry, couldn't help myself. XP

On the other hand, I do love me some Ultra Space/Beasts nonsense. Yes, it's ridiculous that Game Freak came up with this. Don't care, love it. Naturally as soon as it got brought up I had a feeling that Ultra Wormholes would be tying Unova into this Equivos place we were previously introduced to. Though, it really seems like Hanson is laying the praise on rather thick for Lawrence here. Kind of hard to get behind a character with such an impressive resume already. His loner tendencies have me curious, but those accomplishments that got listed off watered down my excitement a bit. Still, I've got to give you credit. Going into a PMD world for research purposes seems like a very unique premise. Things go wrong, sure. But the premise was different.


Ch 3
Welp, we have our Lucario hero, then. I mean, your banner kind of gave that away. And we're introduced to the other individual in the banner: Cassia. Grom's character quirk is cute, to me. Like some mix b/w a strong, silent type and a big musclehead with a child-like sense of wonder. I am going to call foul on why Lawrence's Pokédex just so happens to work in Equivos. Especially since no one's really gone through the portal before him to test it. Theoretically, it shouldn't have even turned on. Likewise, I'm a bit confused why Lawrence is lying about amnesia to... well... a Gardevoir. They're well established as being good empaths and better psychics. She should've been able to see through that facade very easily. I'm a bit disappointed she launched into exposition mode immediately rather than there being any sort of initial friction from Lawrence, given his apparent dislike of Arceism. I get it; sometimes you need a chunk of exposition to set something up. The only thing that I can note from it is that, as far as villain motivations go, Arthus seems very... Cyrus-ish, in his amibitions. Though his ideal is not a world without spirit, which clearly shows from his personality.

The remainder of the chapter is... quiet. Not a lot happens. I thought the drawing scene was cute. But for a world that Arthus has supposedly ravaged... not that many bad things seem to be happening yet. Again, still not really sure why Cassia isn't at least slightly suspicious of Lawrence. She seems too trusting for her own good, though maybe that's the point.

Ch 4
All hail Lawrence the almighty... doer of things! I mean, there are weirder ways to show off newly-discovered attributes, I suppose. Battles are the typical method for that. So I guess I'll give you props for going about it slightly differently. We're also introduced to the (villainous!) guild. There was a moment of ham-handedness with the narration telling us that their harrassment was bad. And that sucked me out for a moment. As did Lawrence's ability to swiftly dodge and land a clean punch. Maybe he brawled a bit as a human, but considering that, one day ago, he couldn't even walk straight, this is a very big leap very quickly that you're kind of just handwaving off and asking the reader to believe.

She stood up vehemently, throwing her arms back. “I’ve travelled over all Serenita, trying to bring Pokemon closer to Arceus, and I’ve had to deal with them at every turn! You don’t think I know what would happen to me if they caught me?”

Hoo boy. This... uh... rings kind of scary with the world we live in these days. Maybe that was the point? In any case, this was quite the sudden turn in Cassia's mood. Here I thought she'd be the rather calm and collected type. Guess I was wrong.

The villains interlude feels like, well, a rehash of the first chapter. Just a friendly reminder that I'm supposed to hate these guys because they don't seem to have any redeeming qualities to them. I do believe this would've been the more appropriate time to introduce the Metagross, since he's relevant to the Guild's new mission. By contrast, I liked the quiet bit of self-reflection, though it did feel like the tone of it came across as expository, moreso than contemplative. I'm not really sure what you could do to change it; that's just my take.

Ch 5
I again have to say that the opening sentence felt very off to me. "Rays of morning" and eyes "flickering in annoyance" are not phrases I've seen used frequently in writing. So, I did stumble out of the gate with this chapter. Cassia's suspicions are rising. But, you contradict yourself a bit here. If lying doesn't come naturally to Lawrence, shouldn't Cassia and Grom have picked up on that by now? Considering their "fugitive" status, I'd think they wouldn't be all that open to trusting Lawrence's story. I know I keep bringing it up, but considering this effects their relationship, it seems like an oversight or a plothole that needs to be addressed.

Strange...last I heard, Barash was a busy city with no Guild influence.

Um, if the guild isn't involved in this city, then has Arthus really led the world to a ruined– oh, wait, looks like the city's been attacked and stuff. Never mind.

And, at last, Cassia does grow incredibly suspicious. Though it's a result of Lawrence putting his foot in his mouth with his (lack of) religious beliefs. You'd think a guy as smart as Ch 2 led us to believe wouldn't go around questioning things like this in a foreign world. There's another quiet contemplation scene, which felt a lot like the scene in the previous chapter. They just blended together for me. And Arthus can try to kill him through his dreams? That's, uh, very Inception. And kind of overpowered, but whatever. Onto the flaming town. Lawrence sure came around to the Pokémon's plights rather quickly. All it took was a little (negative) thinking and one nightmare. I'd have liked to see him questioning his own decision a little bit more, rather than plunging right into the religious symbolism stuff. I actually kind of find myself agreeing with Lawrence that it's a bit heavy-handed and really laid on thick. Though, I think that's more A) my disbelief at a Lucario dealing with several fire-types (because that should be a problem), and B) my uncertainty at the sort of Rapture-like description that Yveltal gets in this chapter.

Ch 6
Kind of odd the supposedly-gentle preacher Cassia seems to so brazenly brush off these Guild 'mons deaths. Is that supposed to be some sort of allusion to wars fought over religious beliefs? It's certainly jarring. Anyway, I appreciate the explanation of life energy, because I was having trouble picturing it up to this point. Like with the last chapter, it's kind of hard to get invested in Lawrence's moral conflict here, because he only has the occassional line warning himself not to "act like them," but then he'll get paragraphs comparing humans and Pokémon and will just run off to save strangers. It's fine for him to be altruistic; I'd believe it more than him considering Pokémon mere animals. Anyway, we have the returned of the Masked Lumen... err, sorry, Zoroark. Can't help but think of Bayonetta with the way you describe this guys actions. Now, I get that Aleron thinks Lawrence isn't a threat or what have you, but what's the point of him wearing a mask if he's going to just casually give a stranger his name (or a pseudonym, at the very least)?

The most interesting part with the Trevenant was definitely insight into Grom. I got the impression he'd been freed from Guild/Arthus control. But adding to that is the fact that it seems a fragment of his being still lies with them. That's the kind of ominous foreshadowing that can get me excited. Yessir! The stuff with the villains is more, well, vanilla. Nothing objectively wrong. But just a reminder that they're tracking our heroes, so to speak. I'm not sure what the whole point of it was, honestly. Felt mostly like filler. Though the bit about the light obsession caught my attention. Necrozma, that you, buddy?

Ch 7

He preferred to let everyone but Gardner, his captains, and select others see him; he had to keep the public believing that he still lay imprisoned on Deitae, so that meant no public showings—not yet.

I think you open on a contradiction, here. Are you trying to say, "He preferred to let no one but Gardner..."? Because that's the only way this makes sense.

So, it looks like Arthus' plan revolves around Hoopa, then. There were hints of that. But now it seems to be clearer as to the "why." He's going to use Hoopa to play Arceus. I'm... a bit confused as to why Hoopa can duplicate Arceus' power in its Unbound form, but I'll roll with it. And we're introduced to another mystery through this "Guildmaster Pokémon." Looks like Arthus has his next target. Also some potential intrigue with the connections b/w Cassia and Aleron. Though, how the heck does Lawrence know that mask is made of rare materials? He's not native to Equivos; he should have no idea what constitutes a rare mineral there.

And Cassia finally catches onto Lawrence's ruse and calls him out on it. Yay! Like I said, I think he was able to keep this stuff secret far longer that he reasonably should've been able to, given his company. Aww, and look, they take it much better than he expected. I think the "we're pretty alike" bit was sort of awkward. But, a good kind of awkward. If that makes sense. And I guess this is the start of Lawrence growing more accepting of Arceism? Fine, I suppose. It didn't seem like he was offering all that much resistance to it anyway.

The second of the chapter is, well, filled with a lot of splices of characterization tidbitds. Which is cool, definitely. And there are a few casual reveals, like that Gardner is still harboring fear to the old forest, and apparently lost his weakness to dark-types b/c Arthus willed it to be. I don't think there's all that much wrong with it, necessarily. It's just, some of it (namely the bit with Arthus singing) feels very out of place. Like, there's the juxtaposition with the singing, of course. It just felt like that scene got sort of shoved in there because Arthus needed more "screen time," so to speak.


Ch 8
Ah, well. That escalated quickly. Lawrence really zigzags back and forth on this Pokémon are animals stuff, doesn't he? Kind of makes him seem younger and more petulent than chapter 2 led me to believe...

“I don’t care if you accept me. I’ve had Pokemon spit on my face, saying that Arceus doesn’t exist, because if he did, why does he allow them to suffer?”

The age old question appears... in Pokémon form! It's very strange. It's not like Cassia's necessarily forcing her beliefs on Lawrence. But given her direction right now, I can understand why she wouldn't want Lawrence around. That said, kind of strange someone who's preaching forgiveness would potentially leave a Lucario to die at the hands of Arthus just because he doesn't have the faith. That's... I feel like there's a Christianity allusion in here somewhere. But I'm going to avoid that one. Also, I guess you're just going to handwave the fact that Lawrence is able to read these Tomes? Seriously, not even an acknowledgement that he's able to read them when he's from another world? At least they're able to come to some sort of agreement, which is nice.

I'm just nitpicking here, but wouldn't a crepe be a Kalosian delicacy? Y'know, because it's PokéFrance and I'll shut up now.

Again, that little transition scenes with Gardner are sorely unnecessary, in my opinion. They're so short and uneventful, since the conversation with Arthus tells us what we need to know. You could probably remove them and it wouldn't change all that much. In fact, it might flow better; at least, it would to me.

Sure, she could take care of herself, but so far, she is the only one that he could truly express himself to. He’d have to find someone else in Unova to have such a relationship, and he’d be unlikely to find someone like Cassia—religious beliefs aside.

Huh. So, like, does Lawrence really hate his family, or something? Earlier he said he missed them. But now he thinks he feels more comfortable with this relative stranger. Sorry, that's just a bit jarring for me.

Ch 9
Something's been bothering me for awhile, now. If Cassia's really such a fugitive from the Guild, why haven't they put any wanted posters or something up for her, offering rewards? Or do people just hate the Guild here that much? *shrug*

Also, am I witnessing cannibalism? I suppose not, since they're different species. But they're all Pokémon, so... ah, forget it. I'm-a give myself a headache if I keep thinking about it. Let's instead turn to the arm-wrestling scene. It was pretty funny. And caught me a bit by surprise because I was expecting a bit of a bar brawl to emerge. But it didn't wind up happening. I think Lawrence might've tapped into some aura-juju stuff at the end there. Which, I suppose, is a very different way to introduce that than your run of the mill battle. This fic's actually had a distinct lack of those, up to this point. Not a problem, mind you. This scene just sort of made me realize that you've taken a human and, well, kept him out of battling. It's easy for PMD fics to have a human just take up the "art" of battling (something which I'm guilty of, naturally). But I must commend you for how far you've gotten without Lawrence using a single real move.

But, at last, Gardner catches up to Lawrence and Cassia. And there's some proper action to go with it. I find it very, very strange that the Houndoom don't really seem to have any ranged fire attacks at their disposal. Houndooms are special attackers by nature. And surely Gardner's smart enough to realize that he could've had an advantage that way? Rule of drama, I guess? In any case, can't say I was surprised by the reveal that Cassia is Aleron. I pretty much thought that as soon as the mask bit came into question. And, yeah, while it certainly explains why Cassia is so dismissive of Guild deaths despite her preachings, it's still rather odd. Is the intention to make her seem like a religious zealot? Because that's what it feels like. Alternatively, I'm going to draw a Bayonetta comparison again. I don't know, it just makes me think of that game.

Matheus definitely came out of left field. And I'll be reserving judgment on that until I get a more thorough explanation. I'm guessing act of GodArceus.

Lastly, some bits I spotted:
Ch 1

He let it grow larger as Rhianna struggled out his grip

Did you mean "struggled against?" I've never seen the phrase "struggled out" before.

He put one over its head, and it briefly flashed crimson

Erm... one what, exactly? Do you mean his other hand? I can't quite visualize what you're trying to say here.

He’s not near as strong as he was before.”

Nearly as strong.

Ch 2

“If this will make you bothering me, yes.”

Stop bothering me?

Ch 5

“I am the Master of Life and Death.” An arm appeared from the claws. “I am the killer of Matheus Lucario, the Betrayer!”

Why are these two lines of dialogue not italicized, but Arthus' other lines are? Is that to show emphasis? It kind of takes out the dramatic effect if all of this is getting emphasized. Might I suggest bold face if you're trying to show that he's yelling?

Ch 6

It is old and needs repaired

*repairs

Ch 8

Cretea after the everyone was wiped out by the

I think you accidentally put a "the" there.

 

[lucarioknight56]

Hiya. New face here. I'm no fanfic expert, but I do like reading them. And I decided to go with this one first, since I like me some PMD stuff. You're welcome to read or ignore this at your leisure. Won't really make a difference to me. ^^;

Alright, well good to hear that you're willing to post your thoughts!

As a whole, this is pretty entertaining so far. This is one of those PMD fics that strays very, very far from its source material. But that's not a bad thing! It seems like you've got some pretty original ideas going here. There's a lot of religious symbolism here. Mostly Christianity/Old Testament type stuff, if I'm not mistaken. While I'm a religious individual, that's not my faith, so it's interesting to see these crop up. I also got some strong vibes from, of all things, the Bayonetta series with this story. And religious symbolism is pretty highly present there. The Lucario/Zoroark conflict draws to mind the clash between Umbran Witches and Lumen Sages that serve as the centerpiece of that series' lore.

I haven't played Bayonetta personally, so I can't so much there. As for the religious symbolism, that is definitely meant to be there. I wanted to tackle a story from a different angle since so few around here have such things.

The world itself seems very big and has a lot going on. We've hit some varied locations already that are described in detail. The cities stuck out because they're a lot more developed than your typical PMD world; with bars and even slummier areas. There's also the haunted forest that gave me some strong mystical, otherworldy vibes. With that said, you do overdo it sometimes with the narration. I point this out below in my individual chapter thoughts (which are mostly my reactions as I was reading), but it feels like you're sometimes writing with a thesaurus on hand. Like, you're using overly-fancy words either to not sound repetitive, or to try and sound eloquent. But it's not entirely working, for me.

I've had that mentioned several times, and can understand the concern there. I will consider changing the description for the worse portions.

Which brings me to the characters. First off, full disclosure: I like Lucarios. I like Zoroarks. I routinely use them in my playthroughs of the main games. That said, I know they're, in a sense, overrated, and overmarketed by Game Freak, and can understand the hatedom that's developed for them. I mean, when you have a try-hard edgelord like Gladion rocking both Lucario and Zoroark, you know Game Freak's aware of this stuff. With that said, I can see how some folks might get turned off by the characters. Lucarios are these holy knight/almost-Jesus-like archetypes, while Arthus is not only a Satanic represenation, but playing the typical Zoroark stereotypes up loudly. Now, to be fair, you give him bits of humanizing characterization. But on the whole, his motivations are still a bit vague for me and he really just seems like an "Eee hee hee, I love being evil," villain. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But he's getting quite a lot of attention. And the fic starts with his easy victories over countless Lucarios and off-screen triumphs over Legendaries, I think.

Alright, I definitely did not try to make such archetypes. I have tried to avoid having certain species be good and others bad; people have only really met one Lucario that could qualify as a god, and thanks to what I have in mind for the prequel, is certainly not perfect. As for the Zoroark, Arthus is the one who went bad, not the general scope for all of them. The other Lucario and Zoroark are really just your average Pokemon trying to get by, but they just happe to either have a positive or negative association to them thanks to the actions of two ancient Pokemon.

As for Arthus' motives, I've purposely tried to make Arthus' motives unclear, as I'm wanting to elaborate more on them in the prequel. However, I can see that it is starting to be a detriment to his character. I don't intend of changing his dialogue for Act 1, but in the bonus chapter, I can certainly reveal his true motives. He certainly doesn't want to eliminate evil just because he wants to, I can tell you that.

On the flip side, we have Lawrence and Cassia. I expand upon some issues I have with both of them, below. In light of the ninth chapter, I'm definitely a lot more invested in the two of them than I was when I had started reading. Your handling of Lawrence is pretty interesting, though some of the narration surrounding him can get a bit preachy, especially when he's going into anti-Arceism mode. It also feels like he flips back and forth between stubborn/uncooperative and supportive of Cassia whenever the plot demands him to. I want to believe his lack of religious views are creating a serious conflict for him, but the narration hasn't sold me on that, at the moment. He seems more like a well-meaning guy whose lost his way, so to speak.

You described Lawrence pretty well, nd that's the reason why its hard to write. I haven't tried writing for a non-religious character much yet, let alone one who is having troubles believing said religion. I've been trying to have it seem natural, but it has sort of fallen flat, maybe.

I'll put my chapter replies in spoilers, as to not stretch the page too much.

Spoiler

A villainous awakening scene is a good way to draw in an audience. The descriptions of this, uh, "grotesque metamorphosis," for lack of a better description, are quite vivid. I could argue that it may actually a bit too overdone. Like, that some parts of it seem like you opened up a thesaurus and tried to find some fancier words to throw in. But it actually wound up making the opening sentences drag a bit for me. This is clearly supposed to be a very sinister moment; a prelude to dark times, if you will. But sentences like "He opened his eyes, looking down at himself with his ice-colored irises," read rather stiff to me.

This is the first I've heard of it, so I'll have to think about it. In particular with the quoted line, I wanted to make it clear that Arthus doesn't have the usual eyes of a Zoroark, even if it is mentioned later on.

Okay, so the Zoroark's the baddie and the Lucarios are the good guys here. That's... well, loyal to their Dex entires. Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I'm okay with retreaded themes if it's still fun and entertaining. And Arthus is clearly putting on a show here. The life draining magic of his makes me a bit nervous. No idea where that came from, but that kind of magic will make him a tough foe to deal with.

That is something that will be talked about in the prequel. I've tossed in hints here and there, but I want to keep the main surprise there. As for the Lucario-good and Zoroark-bad, I bring up my previous point: Arthus is one gone bad, while these other Lucario are simply average Pokemon. Few have taken on a truly heroic role in their history.

In any event, this was Arthus: The Chapter. Putting such intense focus on the villain like this can be a double-edged sword, in my opinion. I think you've gotten recognition (via awards) from him, though. So, who am I to judge? @.@

The version that won was from PMD: The Forgotten Isles, a now non-canon work of my universe. He wasn ice there, but this version is so much better.

Okay, I'm going to have to stop you right here. Apologies if I sound blunt, but this line is overwritten. And it's starting the chapter! I'm no professional, but I find I can read faster (and get more out of a story) when the prose flows naturally. This doesn't flow. You wouldn't say this to someone in a conversation, for example. And I have a very hard time forming a picture of what's supposed to be going on here. Rather than pulling me in, it actually confuses me. ;~;

I'll have you know that I have had very little experience writing real-world settings. I've spent practically my entire writing career in fantasy settings, and thus, have a habit of over-describing. I was really out of my element for chapter 2, and thus, it needs work.

And it's a shame too, because this is certainly different. We've jumped into the Unova of canon... I think? (Not gonna lie, spoofing CNN doesn't really work when you call the spoof CNN.) But, still. Everything's modern. And we have Lawrence, here. Our run of the mill kind of guy. A lot of his introductory descriptions fall into showing as opposed to telling. Like, the narrator just straight-up tells he's a researcher rather than, say, having Lawrence look over at some notes he brought home from work on Project Babel. To me, that would have been a better way to come across and introduce that.

I have to agree with you there, I think that the research notes would be a better way to introduce Project Babel and Lawrence's profession. I'll keep that in mind for when I rewrite it.

*rests head on fist* Tell us how you really feel, lucarioknight. Sorry, couldn't help myself. XP

Well, it's more than appearances, even if they are a contributing factor. Suffice to say, I've had some personal experiences that have lead me to like them. Now isn't the time to discuss that, however.

Though, it really seems like Hanson is laying the praise on rather thick for Lawrence here. Kind of hard to get behind a character with such an impressive resume already. His loner tendencies have me curious, but those accomplishments that got listed off watered down my excitement a bit. Still, I've got to give you credit. Going into a PMD world for research purposes seems like a very unique premise. Things go wrong, sure. But the premise was different.

Well, I had to have some qualifications for it to be believable for him to be selected to research Equivos. Otherwise it would seem unlikely that they'd choose him at all. So while that wasn't my initial vision of Lawrence, it ended up being necessary.

I am going to call foul on why Lawrence's Pokédex just so happens to work in Equivos. Especially since no one's really gone through the portal before him to test it. Theoretically, it shouldn't have even turned on. Likewise, I'm a bit confused why Lawrence is lying about amnesia to... well... a Gardevoir. They're well established as being good empaths and better psychics. She should've been able to see through that facade very easily. I'm a bit disappointed she launched into exposition mode immediately rather than there being any sort of initial friction from Lawrence, given his apparent dislike of Arceism. I get it; sometimes you need a chunk of exposition to set something up.

The Pokedex was redesigned in the prepatory period to withstand any sort of dimensional energies within the wormhole, and it doesn't need an internet connection to work, so its fine. As for Lawrence's amnesia, you can't forget that he's grasping for straws as to how to protect his identity, while also explaining how he doesn't know anything about the world. Amnesia fits the bill.

Also, as you know from Chapter 9, Cassia is a Zoroark, so she can't detect emotions. And the exposition is needed for people to understand more of Equivos' past, especially if they didn't read my previous two stories. Plus, I wanted to save the friction for a different time, and it makes sense considering that Lawrence is trying to restrict tossing in his own thoughts to keep his amnesia believable.

But for a world that Arthus has supposedly ravaged... not that many bad things seem to be happening yet. Again, still not really sure why Cassia isn't at least slightly suspicious of Lawrence. She seems too trusting for her own good, though maybe that's the point.

Arthus might have killed a bunch of Pokemon, but I'd hardly call that ravaged. Really, the only other disaster that happened was the flooding of Cretea; the storms were simply that, storms. As Cassia's trustfulness, that is elaborated more in the bonus chapter, but you also can't forget that she's been travelling mostly on her own, and that Lawrence is a Lucario. In Equivos, they have a good reputation of being trustworthy, thanks to Matheus.

There was a moment of ham-handedness with the narration telling us that their harrassment was bad. And that sucked me out for a moment. As did Lawrence's ability to swiftly dodge and land a clean punch. Maybe he brawled a bit as a human, but considering that, one day ago, he couldn't even walk straight, this is a very big leap very quickly that you're kind of just handwaving off and asking the reader to believe.

I wanted Valder and Derak to come off as idiotic and cruel, so I think I did the job well there. As for Lawrence's dodge, I admit, that could probably be struck out. Him flying into the wall after one attempt should be good, right?

In any case, this was quite the sudden turn in Cassia's mood. Here I thought she'd be the rather calm and collected type. Guess I was wrong.

I can assure you that even the quietest of people can have a loud side. She's had to go through a lot, and not just when proselyting. I won't say what, as that's covered in the bonus chapter.

The villains interlude feels like, well, a rehash of the first chapter. Just a friendly reminder that I'm supposed to hate these guys because they don't seem to have any redeeming qualities to them. I do believe this would've been the more appropriate time to introduce the Metagross, since he's relevant to the Guild's new mission.

Well, I want the readers to not really like Gardner, as he is intended to be the villain. His redeeming qualities will come in Act 2, however; that will shine more on his past, as well as other things. As for Martre, I agree, he wasn't introduced well in Chapter 1, and would have been better off later.

Cassia's suspicions are rising. But, you contradict yourself a bit here. If lying doesn't come naturally to Lawrence, shouldn't Cassia and Grom have picked up on that by now? Considering their "fugitive" status, I'd think they wouldn't be all that open to trusting Lawrence's story. I know I keep bringing it up, but considering this effects their relationship, it seems like an oversight or a plothole that needs to be addressed.

Lying might not come naturally to him, but Cassia hasn't had much experience with liars, and so doesn't necessarily recognize the signs. And with this chapter, they definitely become suspicious, but thanks to his actions in Barash, figure out that he can't be a Guild Pokemon, and thus, is not someone who would want to harm them.

Onto the flaming town. Lawrence sure came around to the Pokémon's plights rather quickly. All it took was a little (negative) thinking and one nightmare. I'd have liked to see him questioning his own decision a little bit more, rather than plunging right into the religious symbolism stuff. I actually kind of find myself agreeing with Lawrence that it's a bit heavy-handed and really laid on thick. Though, I think that's more A) my disbelief at a Lucario dealing with several fire-types (because that should be a problem), and B) my uncertainty at the sort of Rapture-like description that Yveltal gets in this chapter.

I agree, he could've had some more development in going to rescue the Pokemon. As for the fire-types, there's actually only one, namely, Toka Turtonator; the others happen to be Galvantula and Cacturne. COmes off as odd considering that they're weak to fire, but it can do a remarkable job keeping them in line, yes?

Kind of odd the supposedly-gentle preacher Cassia seems to so brazenly brush off these Guild 'mons deaths. Is that supposed to be some sort of allusion to wars fought over religious beliefs? It's certainly jarring.

I think I'll have to change this, as it's been brought up multiple times, and with what I have in mind for the bonus chapter, it really doesn't fit her personality. And I really wasn't trying to have wars fought for religious beliefs.

Like with the last chapter, it's kind of hard to get invested in Lawrence's moral conflict here, because he only has the occassional line warning himself not to "act like them," but then he'll get paragraphs comparing humans and Pokémon and will just run off to save strangers. It's fine for him to be altruistic; I'd believe it more than him considering Pokémon mere animals. Anyway, we have the returned of the Masked Lumen... err, sorry, Zoroark. Can't help but think of Bayonetta with the way you describe this guys actions. Now, I get that Aleron thinks Lawrence isn't a threat or what have you, but what's the point of him wearing a mask if he's going to just casually give a stranger his name (or a pseudonym, at the very least)?

I've been having trouble making his conflict believable, so that's understandable. As for Aleron, or as you now know, Cassia, she needs to wear the mask to cover her eyes, and thus, prevent others from seeing through her guise.

Though, how the heck does Lawrence know that mask is made of rare materials? He's not native to Equivos; he should have no idea what constitutes a rare mineral there.

I can probably change that to make it more believable.

It's just, some of it (namely the bit with Arthus singing) feels very out of place. Like, there's the juxtaposition with the singing, of course. It just felt like that scene got sort of shoved in there because Arthus needed more "screen time," so to speak.

I quite liked that scene, and it also shows Arthus' lament toward a certain individual.

That said, kind of strange someone who's preaching forgiveness would potentially leave a Lucario to die at the hands of Arthus just because he doesn't have the faith. That's... I feel like there's a Christianity allusion in here somewhere. But I'm going to avoid that one. Also, I guess you're just going to handwave the fact that Lawrence is able to read these Tomes? Seriously, not even an acknowledgement that he's able to read them when he's from another world? At least they're able to come to some sort of agreement, which is nice.

Yeah, the death thing will have to go. As for Lawrence reading the tome, they have Arceism in two universes, I wouldn't call it too farfetched to say that there's the same language.

Huh. So, like, does Lawrence really hate his family, or something? Earlier he said he missed them. But now he thinks he feels more comfortable with this relative stranger. Sorry, that's just a bit jarring for me.

He's never really felt close to anyone, and he's been more estranged from his parents since he left them for Unova. He's gradually come to like the world and Cassia more as he's stayed, so he doesn't lament as much as he did before. Still it is slightly jarring, so I can try and edit that.

Something's been bothering me for awhile, now. If Cassia's really such a fugitive from the Guild, why haven't they put any wanted posters or something up for her, offering rewards? Or do people just hate the Guild here that much? *shrug*

Well, considering that she's able to change appearances, I'm not sure that that would help much.

Also, am I witnessing cannibalism? I suppose not, since they're different species. But they're all Pokémon, so... ah, forget it. I'm-a give myself a headache if I keep thinking about it.

In this world, Pokemon act more like animals, and thus, the foodchain is a little more developed. I don't know why that's so controversial...

Let's instead turn to the arm-wrestling scene. It was pretty funny. And caught me a bit by surprise because I was expecting a bit of a bar brawl to emerge. But it didn't wind up happening. I think Lawrence might've tapped into some aura-juju stuff at the end there. Which, I suppose, is a very different way to introduce that than your run of the mill battle.

Well, aura actually can't amplify power like that, but the power boost will be explained later. As for the bar fight...I was tempted. Really. But I feel that an inexperienced Lucario fighting a Machamp would end up a little bloodier than an arm wrestle, so he chose the smart approach.

I find it very, very strange that the Houndoom don't really seem to have any ranged fire attacks at their disposal. Houndooms are special attackers by nature. And surely Gardner's smart enough to realize that he could've had an advantage that way?

Hmm...fire attacks...on a wooden craft...in the water...huh. Seems smart.

And, yeah, while it certainly explains why Cassia is so dismissive of Guild deaths despite her preachings, it's still rather odd. Is the intention to make her seem like a religious zealot? Because that's what it feels like.

Yeah, that's gotta change. Nothing else to say here.

You say you like the story, yet you find all of this odd? I'm a bit confused as to what you like so much outside of the setting, so maybe you could elaborate? I've been meaning to change some things anyway, so thanks for bringing them up, but still... I'd like to know more about what you like so much.

 

[Ambyssin]

You say you like the story, yet you find all of this odd? I'm a bit confused as tow hat you like so much out of the setting, so maybe you could elaborate? I've been meaning to change some things anyway, so thank for bringing them up, but still... I'd like to know more about what you like so much.

Whoops. I guess I got some of my wires tangled and left out a few things. For starters, I like worlds that draw high-fantasy inspiration. Equivos feels like the type of place I could journey to in, say, a Square Enix JRPG. The current port city is really nice, for example, because you take the time to show off a bit of the fishing culture, so to speak. Even though there's only one ferry left, you still make it feel like a port. Especially with the descriptions of soggy docks and air filled with salt. Definitely made me think of past trips to Boston harbor. Another cool part was the giant Trevenant that had essentially sprouted up as a guardian for the old house in the forest. I thought it was a cool merging of nature and the Life element that you spent time giving me background on that chapter. And, the little Phantumps were extremely cute. Especially since most of their actions, like Grom's, are conveyed without any real dialogue. Makes for a nice change of pace.

I also didn't mention Grom much. I like him. He's a cool gentle giant, and knowing of the underlying tragedy behind him, that could very well make for a future conflict, has me excited. Along those lines, the cast "gels" really well together. Their conversations feel natural when they're supposed to be natural. And when there's a tense, awkward moment (mostly b/w Cassia and Lawrence), you can definitely feel it in how they talk.

Hope that helps. I know my review probably sounded scatterbrained, but I just tend to jot stuff down as I'm reading. My memory's... not very good. It's kind of a necessity for me. ;~;

 

[lucarioknight56]

Thanks again for the review Ambyssin. I've made quite a few changes throughout the chapters, most majorly chapter five, as I feel that that was the most offensive one for both the Guild Pokemon's deaths and Lawrence's inconsistency.

The chapter that required the most major revision was Chapter 5, which ended up being the greatest offender of both the major issues. I'll list the other changes in each of the chapters' respective changelogs. They'll be updated shortly, and if there's anything you object to, let me know.

Really, the only chapters that weren't affected were Chapter 9 and what I have for the Bonus Chapter, as well as Chapter 10. I hope everyone's looking forward to reading about Cassia's past!

 

[lucarioknight56]

Act X: Special Episode
Chapter 10: Growth

2000 AU

The storms of Arthus’ coming had long since quieted, the raging rains finally stilled. Moonlight peeked through the clouds, and the wild Pokémon dared to venture from their homes, confident that the Usurper had sated his fury. The forests of Serenita spread across the center of the continent, enclosing a low boulder, the jagged entrance housing a single individual.

In the low-roofed cave, the entrance dark and the air musty, a Zorua slept on a pillow, blinking awake and yawning. She looked about, then froze, recalling the events from before she somehow slept. She whimpered, then began to cry.

Footsteps echoed into the cave, and the Zorua looked up. She saw a Zoroark with graying fur charge in, wheezing, holding his chest. She first thought it was a stranger, but saw the distinctive blue eyes, the eyes that looked so much like her father’s.

“I’m here! I’m here!” he wheezed. His eyes softened upon seeing the Zorua, his rage hours ago gone.

The Zorua ran for Arthus pressing her head against his legs and weeping. Arthus stared at her, perplexed, then smiled, picking her up and cradling her. “You think I’m your dad, don’t you? My eyes…” He looked up, forcing a laugh. “I thought he looked a little like me.” He petted the Zorua, saying, “I am sorry for what had to happen. I never wanted a child like you to cry because of me.”

He sat in the center of the cave, pulling up the cushion. “Do you know your name?” The Zorua cocked her head, sniffing. Arthus shook his head. “Right, how could I forget; you’re too young. They wouldn’t have named you until you cast your first illusion.” He set her on the cushion, then set his claws on her head, red light flashing beneath them. She fell asleep, but the light continued. “Considering the circumstances, however, I think that we can make an exception.”

Arthus thought for a moment, then made a small smile. “I know your name.” He lifted his claw, ensuring that she had no memory of her true parents. “I’ll name you what Corrina had considered for a name for a daughter…if we ever had one…” He lay on the floor, curling around the Zorua, then closed his eyes for sleep.

“Cassia.”

~~~~

At the gate of a massive fortress, set in the center of a vast canyon, the morning had only just broken over the horizon. Murkrow already flew from their nests in search of shiny belongings. Rust-colored dust swept around the structure, coating the desolate scene with a metallic scent.

Cassia sat on the pillow, curled up into a terrified ball. Arthus held her aloft as he knocked on the gate. Afterward, he patted her head and said, “It’s alright Cassia; I think you will enjoy living here with me.” The door creaked open, and Arthus snapped his fingers, a rush of wind blowing past them.

Pokémon of all sorts carried sacks onto large carts, while others carried them over their backs and shoulders. Another group of Pokémon dug holes, helping the others throw the sacks inside. Rising high above the Pokémon, a marvelous tower stretched above, and perched atop it was a solitary Dusknoir—his eye a perfect red sphere--looking across the scene with a grim face.

Arthus waved his free hand and exclaimed, “Guildmaster Gardner!” The Dusknoir twisted his head with a dull glance, then his eye widened when he noticed Cassia.

The ghost leapt off the top of the Tower and drew close to Arthus and Cassia. “What are you thinking, bringing a child here! Do you see all—this!” He waved to the sacks, at which Cassia cocked her head, bewildered.

Arthus leaned close and jerked the Guildmaster toward his face. “Since when did you grow a heart? I made sure to disguise…you-know-what, before I entered. All she sees are sacks of berries.”

Gardner nodded his head slowly. “So, no blood, no—”

“No nothing! Keep it down!” the Usurper hissed. He looked down at Cassia and whispered. “I’d rather not have her discover my…admittedly, weaker side.”

Gardner grunted, then said, “Whatever you wish, even if I don’t entirely understand.” He leaned over Cassia, scrutinizing her. The Zorua crept back to Arthus, menaced by the crimson eye.

Arthus bared his teeth and swatted the Dusknoir away, leaving him to rub his chin. The Usurper crooned over Cassia and exclaimed, “I want her to feel safe in this place, not like she’ll ambushed in her sleep!”

“As you said moments before, ‘when did you grow a heart?’ You’re the same Pokémon that—” he gave a glance to Cassia, “disposed of all these sacks, and took back the Seal of Creation! And now you want to raise that?”

Arthus pushed a claw into Gardner’s chest. “Her name is Cassia, and I don’t care for your tone. I didn’t release you only to chastise me.”

Gardner held up his hands defensively, backing away. “I only have concerns about how it could affect you. Have you ever raised a child? Will this hinder your plans?”

Arthus’ claw shook, then fell, his eyes losing their luster. “I had the chance, years ago. And I ruined it. Before all is done,” he clenched his fist, then with loose restraint, growled, “I want to prove that I can still be a father to someone, no matter what Matheus said.”

Gardner stared for a moment, then shrugged. “Whatever you wish, Lord Arthus. I have no say in your actions.” He gestured to the Pokémon carrying ‘sacks’. “This is nearly taken care of. What would you have me do next?”

Arthus tapped his chin. “You remember my previous offer, yes? Involving the Arceists?”

Gardner’s perfect eye glowed brighter. “Yes. Is it time?”

Arthus grabbed Gardner’s arm with a smile. “Go have your revenge.” Arthus’ face curled into a sneer. “Do whatever you need to get rid of those liars.”

Gardner nodded, chuckling. “Understood, Lord Arthus.” He hovered away, gathering Guild Pokémon to him.

Cassia looked up to Arthus, who patted her back, sighing. “I don’t enjoy talking about these things with you here. We must get a room where we can be by ourselves.” He pulled at a passing Jumpluff and said, “Can you gather up any toys and children’s books you can find? I want to ensure that Cassia is well taken care of.”

The Jumpluff nodded, then went off to do as he said. Arthus sighed, walking toward a small abandoned house in the corner of the wall. “It feels good to be respected again.”

~~~~

2004 AU

Arthus sat on a chair in a brightly colored room, Cassia curled up on his lap. Toys of all sorts were gathered in the corner, tucked away for the coming night, while a pile of books lay stacked next to the chair.

The Usurper closed a book with a satisfied sigh. “Well, I think that is all the reading we’ll do tonight.” Cassia leapt off his lap and pointed to an aged book sitting midway through the stack.

Arthus studied it, his eyes widening with surprise. “You want to read that? Why on Equivos would you want to read about Arceus?” He shook his head, setting aside the book in his claws and picking up Cassia. “Even if I wanted to read that to you, it is time to sleep. We’ll be starting your training tomorrow; we can’t have a Zorua that can’t fool Pokémon.” He set her on her pillow and tapped her nose playfully, while she looked up sadly. “Good night.” Arthus walked out of the room, shutting the door with a gentle click.

The Zorua opened her eyes again, looking longingly at the Tome. Her eyes soon grew heavy, then she fell asleep.

~~~~

Cassia now stood behind the house in a fenced enclosure, the heat of the afternoon seeping into her body. She and Arthus stood facing each other, with Arthus on all fours to better demonstrate to the Zorua.

“Listen closely, Cassia; I want you make yourself look like an Eevee. Do you know how an Eevee looks like?”

“What’s an Eevee?” Cassia asked, still getting used to speaking.

Arthus grinned. “An Eevee looks like this.” He snapped his fingers, and a brown-furred Pokémon appeared in front of Cassia, her ears wavering slightly in the wind.

Cassia came closer to it, then tried to touch it, her paw passing through the illusion. “But it isn’t there!”

“That’s what illusions are! They are only appearances. If we could actually create things like that, we’d be like Arceus!” He pushed Cassia gently away. “Now, look at where you want an Eevee to appear, then make a gesture to focus it. Myself, I snap my fingers, but given that you currently have none, you’ll have to make do with something else.” The Eevee faded, and Arthus stepped back, allowing his student more room.

Cassia studied the space in front of her, imagining Arthus’ Eevee standing there. She then waved her paw to the right, and the wind rushed, and a somewhat-fuzzy Eevee appeared in front of her, patches occasionally phasing out of the conjuring.

Arthus stood up and laughed, clapping his hands. “Bravo, bravo! Well done for your first try!” Cassia beamed, looking away from the spot. The Eevee quickly dissipated.

Cassia’s ears drooped. “It’s gone…”

Arthus tutted, coming next to Cassia and stroking her head. “Oh, it’s not your fault; it takes time, that’s all.”

“Lord Arthus!”

Arthus whipped his head to the fence, giving it an evil look. “Excuse me for a second.” He stood up and marched to the fence, where the head of a Dusknoir poked through the seemingly-empty scene.

Arthus shoved him back and crossed over the fence, leaving Cassia by herself. The Zorua focused her thoughts on the empty grass once more, saying to herself, “I want to make an Eevee…like Dad’s…” The fuzzy Eevee appeared once more, patches and all.

Cassia drooped once more. “No, like Dad’s!” The Eevee focused itself slightly.

She stamped her foot, red mist suddenly trailing out of the ground. “Look like Dad’s, please!” The red mist swirled around the Eevee, and all the detail of the Usurper’s handiwork appeared, complete with a warm smile.

“How do you do, Cassia?” the Eevee asked.

Arthus burst out from the fence, and asked, “Who said that!” His jaw hung as he noticed the red mist underneath Cassia’s feet, wrapping around the Eevee in an ethereal manner.

“How—when—” He held his head, muttering to himself as he thought. “Yes…he was in the room…that explains…” He looked up and grinned. “This changes things.” He stooped to Cassia’s level and grabbed her forelimbs. “Do you know what you just did?”

“Did I do something wrong?” she asked, shrinking slightly.

Arthus laughed, shaking his head. “No! In fact, you’ve done something better than I could have imagined: you used Life! I always thought there was a deposit around here, but it was so small that I didn’t bother with it!”

“What do you mean?”

“It means I can teach you not only what it means to be a Zorua, but also what it means to be a descendant of Arthus Zoroark.”

~~~~

Arthus sat cross-legged in front of Cassia, his eyes closed, and his fingers interlocked. Cassia sat on her haunches expectantly, wondering what he was going to do.

Arthus opened his eyes and said, “In all Pokémon, there is this force called Life. Most are unable to use it, outside of the Ghosts, who feed on it, and the Lucario, who are able to derive another force called Aura from it. In the distant past, a civilization used it to power machines and even bring things to life but could never use it themselves. None were able to use Life until I made the sacrifice necessary to claim it. And now, this power has passed on to you.” He held up and outstretched claw, red flame suddenly erupting from his palm. Cassia leapt back in surprise, never before seeing such power.

Arthus grinned. “This is a powerful energy, one that only you and I can use. I learned from my mentor, Gregorius, how to use it, and now you shall learn from me. It will take years of work, but you can become a master of it around when you master your illusions, if you practice.”

“What can Life do?” Cassia asked.

“Many things. It can be used to heal the sick and wounded, to travel across Serenita in a blink of an eye, and to augment your natural powers.” His face turned darker. “But there is more. Used in its raw shape, Life can be used to attack your enemies, as well as to take their own Life.” He shook his head. “But let’s not dwell on such things. That can wait for when I train you in combat, when you evolve. You’re around three now, so expect that to come ten years from now.” He dimmed the flame. “Until then, we will focus on how to draw it from the ground, and how to empower your illusions through it.”

“Where does it come from?”

Arthus paused for a moment, then quietly said, “The remains of those who have died—and, sometimes, the living.”

~~~~

2006 AU

Arthus nodded his head at the Eevee that stood before him, applauding. “Bravo, bravo! You’ve come so far!”

The Eevee faded, revealing it to be Cassia, grinning. “You really think so?”

Arthus scooped her up and laughed, “Of course! Why would I lie to you?” He suddenly stopped and twitched his head. He set her down, then sighed. “The Guild Council needs me again.” He pointed at a straw dummy and explained, “Practice your scratches on that while I’m gone. It’ll hopefully be short.” The young Zorua nodded sadly, then went on to scratch at the dummy methodically with her claws.

Arthus leapt over the fence and beyond the barrier, holding his arms behind his back as he muttered to himself. Crossing various Pokémon, he stamped up the steps of the tower and sat at a table where Gardner, a Bibarel, Hypno, and Wigglytuff all sat waiting.

“I have important business I want to take care of, so let’s make this quick,” Arthus muttered.

“We’ll certainly try; we don’t like taking your time either,” Gardner replied. He pointed at a map spread across the table, moving to various locations. “All ties with Calem Lucario have been eliminated; all Guild Outposts are loyal only to you. Cretea is without Guild resources, but none have returned since the storms came six years ago. Therefore, we see it unnecessary to form a new outpost there.”

“Agreed. Why do you need me here exactly?” Arthus sighed. All eyes turned to the Wigglytuff.

His ears drooped, and he cleared his throat. “Well, sir—Lord, we’re just curious if you have any other motives outside of the good of the world.” Arthus rose, his eyes growing wild. He stepped closer, and the Wigglytuff stuttered, “I-It’s not that we’re questioning your leadership, i-it’s just that Calem was a little more…” Arthus eyes pressed right against his. “Direct?”

Arthus backed away, scratching his cheek. “You’re lucky I want to keep a good appearance.” He gestured to the entire council, stepping away from the shivering Wigglytuff. “I haven’t been very forthright with you, have I? I’ve just been off in my own little world, letting Gardner take care of the Guild and allowing you to,” he fluttered his claws toward the Hypno, Wigglytuff and Bibarel, “do whatever you do around this place.”

The Zoroark shook his head, sighing. “You may think I’m not all there. Maybe I’m just a mad-Pokémon, doing things just because I can. You might even think that I don’t believe in the good of the world, and just want to watch it burn.” He swept to the Wigglytuff and grabbed his ears. “But I will tell you right now: I want the world to no longer suffer anger, fear, or sadness. I do have another motive, but I will let that secret die with Matheus!” He released the Wigglytuff and huffed, brushing back his mane. “If there is nothing else, I’ll be leaving.”

The Council made no move to stop him from descending the steps.

~~~~

The Usurper sat on his favorite chair, holding a pad of paper and a stick of charcoal. He gently drew lines, creating a graceful figure and shading it.

Cassia hopped onto the top of the chair, peering at the handiwork. “Are you drawing?”

Arthus nodded his head, keeping his gaze on the paper. “Yes.”

“Why are you doing that? I thought you liked illusions more?”

Arthus held up the sketch, showing a slight, female Zoroark with a simple necklace around her neck. Cassia gazed at it in awe.

He pulled it back, then continued adding the finishing touches. “Illusions may be a wonderful thing, but their purpose is to trick the mind, to make Pokémon believe something is what it isn’t.” He took a blob of clay from the corner, rubbing away a mistake. “But drawing is a way to show your emotions, to show what you think of something or someone. Illusions are powerful, yes,” he closed the pad, patting the cover, “but are no way to show your true feelings.”

Cassia leapt onto Arthus’ lap. “Can you teach me how to draw?”

Arthus looked down at her, patting her head with a smile. “When you evolve, I would love to.”

~~~~

“’And so, the Mightyena ran into the sunset, never to be seen again.’” Arthus closed the book, setting it on the stack. He rubbed his throat, clearing it. “These books are getting a tad long for me to be reading like this every night,” he croaked.

Cassia hopped onto her bed, exclaiming, “Maybe I can start reading them!”

Arthus laughed, putting his claw to his head. “Of course, you’re old enough now! May as well; being able to read is important after all.” He opened the door, then said, “We’ll start tomorrow, alongside your other studies.” He shut the door, and Cassia directed her gaze to the aged book toward the bottom of the stack.

“Then I can read you again…” she thought.

~~~~

2014 AU

In Cassia’s room, by a flickering red flame on a candle, the Zorua read from the Arceist Tome, the words calling to her as they did when she was younger.

And the Usurper shall come and attempt to take my Life but shall ultimately fail at the hands of the Guardian. The Usurper, through his actions, shall lose all that he held dear, and will strive to reclaim them. From him, learn that my creations are free to make choices, but cannot choose, or change, their consequences.

A knock came at the door. “Cassia, I’m coming in!”

The Zorua hurriedly closed the Tome and shoved it underneath a shelf, then pulled down another book.

Arthus opened the door, laughing slightly. “Still have to get used to that; I haven’t had a little thirteen-year-old before.” He closed the door, then craned over Cassia, studying the pages. “Reading ‘The Pikachu and his Travelling Joltik’, hmm?”

Cassia nodded quickly, saying, “Yep, been wanting to for a while.”

Arthus nodded as well, sitting at his usual seat. “Lovely story. Anyway, how are you feeling about your birthday coming up? Ready to evolve?”

Cassia shifted uncomfortably, looking at her paws. “I don’t know. I like me right now; what if I don’t like being a Zoroark?”

Arthus pet her head, sighing, “Well, I won’t be able to pet you like this once you evolve, so I’m not looking forward to that.”

Cassia pulled away, giggling. “You know I don’t like that.”

Arthus gazed at her in mock surprise. “Really?” He made a small chuckle, then said, “I remember when I evolved. Me and my…best friend, evolved on the same day. We both had to get used to our new bodies together.” His cheerful demeanor vanished. “It was especially hard for me, since my parents had been gone for years. I didn’t know how to get used to my body, or what things would change.” He shook his head, looking down to Cassia. “But I’m here to help you. I’ll make sure you won’t feel afraid when it happens.”

“You promise?”

Arthus nodded. “Promise.” He studied his claws, watching mist course between them. “After you get adjusted, we’ll start with your training. You can’t stay under my watch forever; the world’s still a dark place, and until I find a solution, I have to make sure that you’re safe.”

“What will we do?”

“Well, we’ll start with basic attacks, then upgrade to what you can do with Life.” He held Cassia’s paw, giving her a hard look. “I want you to promise me that you won’t question what I ask you to do. I am a very busy Pokémon, what with a Guild to run. Will you do that for me?”

Unsure of what he intended with that, Cassia nodded her head.

Arthus nodded back, then stood up. “I’ll let you get to sleep now.” He stood up, then opened the door.

“Wait, Dad?” Cassia asked. Arthus stopped, turning his head. “Do you know who the Usurper is?”

Arthus’ eye twitched, then he rubbed it, growling. “When did you hear that name?”

“I just…came across it while reading. I was wondering if you knew.”

Arthus gave her a suspicious look, then sighed. “That was a title given to me, years ago. I’m a lot older than you think, Cassia. I’d rather not speak of such things right now.” He exited the room and closed the door.

Cassia pondered on what he said, thinking of the Tome. ‘He’s supposed to be one of the cruelest Pokemon alive…he’d even bring Arceus down.’ She closed the book, shaking her head. ‘But he’s only even been nice to me. He just couldn’t be the Usurper.’

She curled up on her cushion and closed eyes. After a few moments, she looked up fearfully.

‘Right?’

~~~~

Days later, Arthus stood in front of Cassia in the center of the room, the furniture pushed to the corners to make room.

“Any moment now, your name will change from Cassia Zorua to Cassia Zoroark. How do you feel?” he asked.

Cassia smiled nervously, standing in front of him. “Excited, but scared. What will it feel like?”

The Usurper sighed wistfully. “Ah, like nothing else. It’s been so long since I evolved, so I can’t really say.” He looked out the window, seeing the sky turn from orange to purple. “Any moment now.”

Cassia began to shake. “I feel…light, like there’s nothing wrong with anything.” White light suddenly enveloped her, her shape becoming indistinct. The light morphed taller, leaner, and brighter, while Arthus looked on, feeling happier than he had ever felt in millennia.

The light faded, and a graceful young Zoroark stood in Cassia’s place. She gasped as she noticed her arms, no longer the paws she had been used to all her life. She reached for her luxurious mane, free of the bead that her adoptive father had for his own.

She looked toward him and stepped forward. “Look at—wah!” She tripped on her feet, unused to walking on two limbs.

Arthus dove forward and caught Cassia, holding her up. She looked up, and Arthus smiled. “If only Corrina could see this…”

“Who’s Corrina?”

Arthus’ smile dissipated. “My…wife.” He helped her stand up, then held her face, cringing. “You look so much like her.” He pointed to her eyes. “Except your eyes. They’re mine, of course.” He pointed to his own, quivering. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen her. I only want her at my side again.” He covered his eyes, a tear trailing out from under his hand.

Cassia looked down at her arms, then embraced Arthus, the Usurper falling onto her. He sniffed, then said, “I haven’t been hugged since before she died.” He continued to grieve, his chest shaking.

Cassia patted him, then quietly asked, “You never talk about her. Why?”

“…It is too hard for me to remember how, and why, she died.”

~~~~

Several days later, Arthus and Cassia stood opposite each other in the training yard, crouching with their claws extended.

“Alright, day one. Come at me with what you’ve got,” Arthus stated.

Cassia hesitated, then with a yell, charged toward him, her claws ready to strike. Arthus deftly dodged, then pushed her to the ground, shaking his head with disapproval. “We Zoroark don’t make direct attacks…not like that, at least,” he chided. “Come in from the side and use your illusions to hide your direction. We have the element of surprise no matter what we do, if done right.”

“Lord Arthus, I bear good news!” Gardner appeared from behind the barrier, his eye wide.

Arthus leaned to Cassia, who had since picked herself up. “Watch me.” He disappeared, and both she and Gardner looked around, searching for him.

Gardner suddenly arced back with a grunt, his head pulled back. Arthus appeared behind him, chuckling, his arm pinned behind the Ghost. “That is how a Zoroark strikes.”

“Would you please let me go? I have news about your search for a bodyguard,” Gardner hissed, looking left and right.

Arthus promptly released him and whipped around to face him. “Ah, that is something I’ve been waiting to hear! Bring me to him!” Gardner exited the barrier, and Arthus motioned for Cassia to follow. “Come! It’s high time I showed you the rest of my Guild!” He leapt over the fence, the barrier of sky rippling as he disappeared through it.

Cassia blinked, following him hesitantly. She crawled over the top of the fence and gasped at what she saw: Black-banded Pokémon rushed to and from various buildings, all talking and carrying goods with them. All the activity surrounded an ancient tower, the bricks cracked and the height astounding.

A troupe of Gurdurr pounded past Cassia, and she eeped, running toward Arthus and hiding behind his back. He forced a smile, patting her hand. “I guess I should have taken you out more often. Still, no time like the present to socialize.” He guided her across the grounds, all other Pokémon staying away from the Usurper.

She noticed many of the Pokémon give him fearful looks; they avoided meeting his gaze. All except an elderly Alakazam avoided looking at them. He stroked his mustache thoughtfully, narrowing his eyes.

Cassia drew closer to Arthus and said, “Why do they seem afraid of you?”

Arthus waved a nonchalant hand. “No reason in particular. Can’t expect everyone to be brave around their leader, can you?” He gasped, grabbing Cassia’s hand and running ahead. “Oh, Gardner has outdone himself this time. Just look at this!”

They came to the corner of the canyon, and Cassia stood in awe at the massive automaton leaning against the wall. A hulking Golurk, covered in moss and cracks, stood as if sleeping, its light out.

Gardner patted its leg and exclaimed, “As you know, there’s few of them left due to the high amount of Life needed to keep them going. I figure that you, with your control of it, can make him work again. Few would be able to challenge him and succeed.”

Arthus chuckled, holding up a hand. “Perfect. I can take care of myself pretty well, but one can always do with another protection. Besides, he will make an excellent training dummy for Cassia; claws will hardly hurt him, and we can siphon his life without fear of killing someone.”

Gardner huffed and rolled his eye. “Huh, ironic.”

Arthus grabbed his neck and shook him. “Quiet.” He turned to the Golurk, then pressed his hand against it. “Awaken!” Red mist coursed down his arm into the giant frame, the light within beginning to flicker.

Arthus pressed harder as Cassia stepped back. “Awaken!” Red tendrils erupted from the ground, feeding more into the giant. The cyan stone slowly turned black and grey, and the yellow light turned orange, then red. He began to shake, then stood upright, rolling his shoulders as more Life surged into him.

Finally, he roared, shaking free of Arthus’ grip. He fell back, and the tendrils sank back into the ground, the weakened Usurper no longer having his previous strength.

The Golurk stood still, studying his surroundings. Cassia stared at him fearfully, her eyes wide as the giant turned.

It fell to one knee, leaning forward and bowing his head. “Prepared for service, master. What are your orders?” it said in metallic tones.

Arthus coughed, standing up with a grin. “Ah, it works!” He covered his mouth and coughed again, stepping toward him. “What is your name, servant?”

“Designation: Gorson Rensil Orma Moccin.”

Arthus cringed. “That’s strange. Why do you have four names instead of one?”

“It was customary—4000 years ago—to receive more names as indication of prowess,” the Golurk replied.

Arthus rubbed his chin, thinking. “Well, I can’t be calling you Gorsonrensil-whatever-whatever all the time. How about a contraction, like…Grom?”

The Golurk’s eyes blinked, then he nodded. “Nickname confirmed. I will respond to ‘Grom’ until you so choose to change it.”

“Excellent!” He pulled Cassia closer. “Meet your new sparring partner! He will be extremely useful in training I’m sure!” Cassia looked up at the Golurk, frozen.

Grom stood straight, offering his hand to her. “Designation: Grom. What is yours?”

Cassia looked down at the hand, then cautiously shook it. “Cassia.”

The eyes blinked, then he nodded. “Good morning—Cassia. It will be a pleasure to serve both you and the master.”

~~~~

2018 AU

Cassia sat on a stump, drawing on a pad of paper. Arthus hovered behind her, catching glimpses of her handiwork.

“You have gotten quite good. I’m amazed how well you can draw.”

Cassia held up her drawing of the Guild’s gate proudly. “You really think so?”

Arthus nodded. “I know so.” He looked up, noticing the sky turning orange. “Best be going to sleep now. I won’t be able to visit tonight; important Guild business and all that.”

Cassia closed the pad and stood up, hurriedly walking for the house. “No worries, I’ll be fine!” She entered the room, Arthus giving her a curious look.

She set the sketchpad on the counter and pulled the Arceist Tome from underneath. She sat on the center chair, then opened the covers, pulling out a length of leather for a bookmark.

Origin 4--

After the Starfall, peace reigned throughout the land. However, 1000 years after the creation, wild Pokemon grew more dangerous and many of the Enlightened wished worse for others.

However, this time of peace soon turned for the worse. In a time of great need, Arceus sent the Legend Mewtwo to save the village of Vaures from a horde of wild Pokémon. This was met with great praise, and upon returning to Deitae, Mewtwo became prideful of his powers.

He descended upon the wild Pokémon of Equivos and those who challenged Arceus with a fury, so much that he became the hero of Serenita and Cretea. Lavish gifts were given to him, and many began to worship the Legend instead of Arceus.

Mewtwo grew fearful of the very Pokémon he protected. He feared that the Pokémon he defeated would conspire against him, and so he dealt harsh punishments to the Pokémon of Deitae. Factions guided even by the other Legends of Deitae rose up against Mewtwo, while others more stood alongside the Rogue. Wars followed, and the land was devastated by their might.

In the mightiest of these skirmishes, Arceus exited the Tree of Life and punished Mewtwo for intervening in the lives of mortal Pokémon. He then proclaimed that Legends shall only come out of Deitae once every full moon, and only under his direction after that.

As punishment for if a Legend were to enter the mortal continents, Arceus crafted the Seal of Creation, a device designed to absorb Legends, and grant the user full protection from their might, even granting the abilities of those lost to its touch.

Mewtwo was banished to the Isle of Regrets for his crimes, and the Seal was hidden deep within Serenita, to avoid the Legends from using it themselves. Only one mortal will prove able to circumvent the price of its use: The Usurper, the Pokémon who will lay waste to the followers of Arceus, destroy his word, and even attempt to take Arceus himself.

She turned to the door, thinking of Arthus. ‘Dad mentioned that he was the Usurper…did that mean he had done these horrible things? Killing Pokémon, destroying the Tomes, even trying to use the Seal?’

She set her bookmark in the Tome and promptly closed it. ‘There’s only one way to find out.’

~~~~

“Again!” the Usurper bellowed.

Cassia nodded, rushing toward Grom with her claws extended, red mist enveloping them. She gouged the sides with one swipe, then spun to strike another, then did so again, circling the Golurk and preventing him from striking back. All the while, the red light in his eyes began to fade.

When it was at its dimmest, Arthus exclaimed, “Enough! We can’t have you draining him completely!”

Cassia complied, breathing fast and panting. Arthus stood up from his seat and touched the Golurk, holding his other hand out toward Cassia. She took it, siphoning her collected Life into Arthus, which then trailed into Grom.

Cassia averted her eyes and said, “Hey Dad, I was…wondering.”

“Ask away,” Arthus absentmindedly said, focused on Grom.

“Do you know about the Seal of Creation?”

Arthus’ grip suddenly tightened. “How do you know?” He sighed, loosening it once more. “Yes, I know it well. Part of my role in the Guild is to use it to its full potential; only those with control over Life, or some form of it, can use it.”

“So, it’s here?”

“Of course, it is! Who do you think—” he stopped himself, gritting his teeth. “It doesn’t matter how I got it. The point is, Martre is studying it to find out how to fix it after my last escapade with it.”

“Which was when?”

“Is that really important?”

“To me it is.”

Arthus gave her a harsh look, then said, “Two-thousand years ago, when I nearly succeeded with defeating Arceus.” He let go of Cassia’s hand, leaping over the fence and running toward the Master’s Tower.

Cassia stared wide-eyed at him, then turned to Grom. “Do you know about any of this?”

He buzzed for a moment, then said, “Lord Arthus often talks to himself, possibly a side-effect from being alone for an extended period of time. He speaks of Matheus Lucario--an individual who died two-thousand years ago—often ranting about their failed friendship. He also speaks—” He fizzed, shaking his head. “He has restrained me from revealing more about another individual.”

Cassia bit her lip, then said, “Is he the Usurper?”

Grom buzzed, his lights blinking. “Texts from my time period, known as the Gregorian Scrolls, describe a future disciple of the dark prophet Gregorius. Another text from a prophet known as Klaym also foretold this Usurper, predicting that he would rise from the shadows, then fall into them once more, deeper than ever before. He would slay thousands in his desire for not just revenge, but out of grief. His most distinct feature would be him following the Gregorian Texts, which, with the dark prophet’s assistance, would allow him to become a master of Life.” He held up a hand. “Given that Arthus is a master of Life, and that he has previously mentioned being Gregorius’ student, he must, therefore, be the Usurper.”

Cassia brushed back her mane, sighing. “That…that can’t be right! He’s a good Pokémon! He’s done so much for me!”

“It is not my place to say who he is. All I say are predictions,” Grom warned.

Cassia shook her head. “I remember him telling me before that he was called the Usurper, and that he didn’t want to talk about it.” She clutched her fingers. “The To—I mean, a book I read, said that the Usurper would stand against everything Arceus teaches, and try to stop the world from believing in him. Along the way, he’d…kill thousands.” She shivered.

Grom buzzed, then said, “I am merely a guardian; I am to hold no position or feeling about my master or other individuals.” He lowered his head, his light dimming. “Until Lord Arthus returns, I will remain in sleep.”

Cassia looked past the fence, which appeared to have nothing but buildings beyond. ‘Dad said I wasn’t supposed to go outside—he even made it look like there’s nothing out there.’ She looked away. ‘But I know that there’s other Pokemon.’ She looked up, closing her fist. ‘And I’m going to find out the truth.’ She waved her fingers, a rush of wind blowing by her. She appeared as a Lopunny, then, satisfied with her appearance, clambered over the fence.

Dozens of Pokémon crossed by her, ranging from Tauros lugging wagons, Mr. Mimes carrying papers, or Swellow with parcels swooping low. All activity surrounded the Master’s Tower, where they remained distant to avoid the Guildmaster’s gaze.

Cassia dodged between the Pokémon, making way to a round, low-roofed building with blue and purple stripes. The sign over the door said, ‘Wenstrel Café: In Memoriam”, but was marred by deep scratches.

She entered, covering her nose upon breathing in the foul air inside. Pokémon surrounded dozens of filthy tables, all jabbering about one thing or another, meals and drinks in front of them. A wall at the back opened into a cafeteria, where Pokémon rushed to prepare the meals throughout the day.

She studied the tables, then walked to one with a wizened Alakazam sitting with a Sawk with a sling over his arm. They talked with each other quietly but stopped once Cassia came by.

“What you looking at, Lopunny? Got a problem with us being here?” the Sawk seethed.

The Alakazam grabbed the Sawk’s uninjured hand and admonished, “Now Searle, remember what the Guildmaster said?”

Searle muttered, “Yes, Trias…”

The Alakazam nodded, then turned back to Cassia. “What can we help you with?”

“I was wondering if you could tell me more about how the Guild works. I’m…new here, and haven’t learned much yet,” Cassia replied.

“Ah, a new recruit! That explains why you don’t have an armband yet,” Trias remarked, pointing at Cassia’s arm. “Well, we’re quite busy, ensuring that criminals are caught, taxes are collected—” He stopped himself, lowering his hand. “That’s what I’d like to say, but…well, the Guild isn’t quite like it was when old Calem was alive.”

“Yeah, it’s better than ever!” Searle slammed the table. “Beating up Pokemon and taking what we want! That’s what it’s been all about since Arthus got rid of that old Lucario. He’s been sending teams to find out how to repair that little pendant, and he told us that he wants everyone to feel like the world is horrible! It's the perfect excuse to beat them up every once in a while.”

Cassia’s throat tightened. “W-What do you know about Arthus?”

Searle went to reply but was stopped by Trias’ hand. The old Alakazam’s eyes narrowed, then he hissed, “We don’t speak of such things. He’d have our necks if we spread rumors.”

“He’s not around right now, so it should be fine,” Searle replied, taking a glance behind him. Trias groaned, then Searle said, “He spends most of his time in that little house in the corner of the Guild, telling us to stay away, or he’d kill us. Only the Guildmaster has dared to go near.”

Trias grabbed his arm, warning him to stop. “He is a ruthless combatant. He knows how to make everyone fear and obey him and wants nothing more than to end the world as we know it. He has made many claims, but is…honestly, thankfully unable to do that, for he has yet to repair the Seal.”

“Is he…nice?”

Searle sneered. “Nice? He doesn’t know the meaning of the word! He treats everyone like dirt, and only cares about that old Seal and his personal time in that house. He’d kill somebody for delivering a letter he didn’t like!” he hoarsely replied.

Cassia’s claws shook as Trias patted Searle’s arm. “Careful Searle; if he caught wind of what you said, you’d be drained before you know it.” He forced a smile. “Besides, he’s rather respectful as long as you listen to him. He even promised us a place in his perfect world, where no wrong can be done!” He gave Cassia a concerned look. “Are you…alright?”

“I’m…fine. What do you think goes on…in that house?” Cassia croaked.

Trias blew his breath out slowly. “It’s rather dangerous to be asking such things, but I feel I must explain. No one really knows outside of Arthus himself and the Guildmaster. Some years back, I remember Arthus bringing a young Zoroark with him to revive his bodyguard, Grom, but she hasn’t appeared since. I thought it may have had something to do with her, but after the recent rumors, I thought different.”

“W-What rumors?”

Searle leaned in close and whispered, “That it’s a torture chamber for those fools who believe in Arceus.”

Cassia gasped, then broke into tears, falling against the table. Trias’ eyes widened, and he stepped over and touched Cassia’s back. “What’s wrong? Was it something we said?” He looked down at his hand, which passed through the Lopunny slightly. “Hmm?” Cassia continued to cry, and the illusion faded, revealing her to be a Zoroark.

Searle raised a shaking finger, pointing at her. “Y-You’re a spy! F-For Arthus! He left one of you alive, that way he could weed us out and kill us! I knew—”

“Stop saying that!” Blinking away tears, Cassia leapt on top of the table and took Searle by the injured arm, twisting it back. Searle cried out as Cassia held her sharpened claws inches from his throat. “You’re wrong! He’d never kill anyone! He’s a nice, kind Pokémon! I’ve lived with him all my life!”

Trias cautiously stepped closer to them, holding his hands out defensively. “I saw you four years ago; Arthus was unusually kind that day. Have you ever thought that he never wanted you to see his true self? So that you would not be repulsed by him?”

Cassia gazed at him in shock, continuing to hold Searle. After several moments, she released the Sawk, then disappeared, the doors flying open as she fled.

Searle clutched his injured arm as Trias slipped it back into its sling. “Where did she come from? Why was she here?”

Trias watched the doors swing, the other Guild Pokémon staring at the evidence of Cassia’s visit.

“To know the truth.”

~~~~

The Zoroark continued to weep on her bed, finding it impossible to believe that her father was a killer as those two had said. ‘He can’t be like that…he just can’t!’ But the nagging thought kept returning: ‘What they had said was true.’

She sniffed, wiping her nose. ‘He never wanted me outside…because he didn’t want me to see who he really is.’

The door creaked open, and Cassia twisted back. Arthus walked in with a grin. “Let’s get back to that combat practice; soon you’ll be tougher than—” He saw Cassia’s tear-stained face, and her sad, conflicted expression. “Me.” He shut the door, then approached her, concerned. “What’s wrong?” He made to sit next to her, but she scooted away, crossing her arms and leaning on her lap.

“I…I went out today. I went out into the Guild.”

“You what?”

“I talked with some Pokémon after Grom told me about you,” Cassia said flatly.

Arthus growled, clenching his claws under the bed. “Whatever that ridiculous Golurk or those goons said—”

“They told me you’re cruel to them. They told me you’ve killed Pokémon.” She hit her hand against the bedpost. “They told me you’re trying to kill Arceus!”

Arthus said while trying to embrace her, “Why do you—”

Cassia shoved him away, bolting to her feet. “I’ve read about you. You’re the Usurper, aren’t you? The one who tried to kill everyone in Equivos, the one who took Arceus, the one that killed the Lucario!”

Arthus stood up and spat, “How do you know these things? I never told you about them, and for good reason!” His eyes swiveled to the corner, focusing under the counter. “I know…”

He stormed to the counter, and Cassia paled. The Usurper reached underneath, yanking out the Arceist Tome and holding it up. “It’s this, isn’t it? I accidentally left it here, and you’ve been reading it, haven’t you? Reading its lies!”

“There are no lies! It said that you would kill everyone! The Lucario, the Guild, even your wife!”

“Silence!”

Arthus threw the book down, making deep, shuddering breaths. He held up a shaking claw, then hissed, “I admit it: I have killed Pokémon. I have killed so many that I can’t remember. All of it, because I hate Arceus and what he teaches.”

The Usurper lifted the Tome, tapping its cover. “I kept that from you, because I hate myself for it. I never like death; it is a necessary evil. Think about it: I want Pokémon to do only good. To do that, everyone must die, then be resurrected by me, without the choice to do wrong. It pains me every time I steal their life, but I believe…” He shook his head, holding a flame in his other claw. “No, I know it is the only solution to end sorrow!” He held the book over the fire.

“No!” Cassia ran to Arthus, pulling at the Tome.

Arthus kept his grip, glaring at his adopted daughter. He released the Tome, allowing both it and Cassia to fall to the floor. Cassia held her head, groaning, while he took the book back, extinguishing the flame.

He stepped silently to the door, then opened it. “You’re not in your right mind. This book has obviously affected you.” He inspected it, sneering. “Knowing how you’ll react if I destroy it, I’ll give it to Gardner for safe keeping.” He turned back to Cassia. “I have tried my best not to be angry at you, Cassia, but this time you’ve pushed me too far. I’ll have Grom keep you inside as you think about your mistake.” He stepped outside. “I’ll be back later.” He slammed the door, the floor shaking from the force.

Cassia shook her head, her heart beating rapidly. She ran for the back door and opened it, then gasped when she saw Grom standing against the doorframe.

“Lord Arthus is not pleased. I am to refuse all communication with you until he directs otherwise.” He pounded his knuckles together. “As for my directive, he allowed me to do no more than break bones to keep you from trying to steal the Tome. It is nothing but lies, and—”

She slammed the door, falling against it with a sob. She covered her face and heaved, struggling to breathe. ‘No…please, no…don’t be like this!’

She considered his actions. ‘He was only ever kind to me…yet he’s murdered Pokemon. He didn’t even deny it.” She let her head fall back on the door. ‘The Tome was right…it was always right.’ She sniffed, wiping her eyes. ‘I wish I could read it again…’ One passage came to mind, one of the few she had chosen to memorize:

Just as gladness comes, sorrow shall follow. Behind lies and deceit, lives are lost, whether it be through death of body, or death of heart. This is all to my plan.

For without sorrow, how can one realize joy? All shall pass, so long as one puts their trust in their creator.

After a few minutes of repeating this phrase and coming to terms with the truth, she forced herself to calm, taking in deep breaths and standing up. ‘I can’t stay here anymore…not now that I know who Arthus really is.’ She looked around the room, uncertain. ‘But…can I really do that?’

Cassia considered her options. ‘I…I could stay here…with Arthus. But he wouldn’t let me read the Tome again…and he’d surely try to make me like him…a murderer.’ She shook her head vigorously. ‘No. The Tome said you shouldn’t kill unless defending yourself or others. I can never be happy here with Arthus like this…not now that I know.’

She leaned against the wall, crossing her arms and bowing her head. ‘But what else can I do? Run away? I know nothing about the outside! I can protect myself, sure, but how am I going to eat? Sleep? It’s a dangerous place out there…if what Arthus said is true.’

She gasped, putting a hand over her mouth; a dreadful thought came into her mind. ‘Corrina died two thousand years ago…Arthus can’t be my real father.’

“He left one of you alive!” she remembered Searle Sawk saying. She stood straight, eyes wide. ‘What…what happened to my real parents?’

She considered it for a moment, then sobbed. ‘He…he killed them…just like everyone else…then adopted me.’ In the midst of her tears, she wearily took a bag from the counter and pulled supplies and belongings into it.

‘I’m leaving…tonight.’

~~~~

The front door creaked open, and Cassia poked her head out. She slowly stepped out, holding a large sack over her shoulder, loaded with what supplies were within reach. She looked around, then stepped toward the tower.

A boom echoed from the backyard, then Grom thrust from it, his feet blowing away dust and grass. The scarlet cracks scattered throughout his body shone even brighter in the night air, the blackness hiding all but that.

He cracked his knuckles, cocking his head. “You have come out. Lord Arthus’ directive is to keep you in the house. Comply now, and there will be no need for violence.”

Cassia crouched, tightening her grip on the bag. “Never.”

His eyes flashed, and mist trailed up from the cracks. “Reserves accessed. You will be unable to drain my Life to force me into hibernation. Prepare for conflict.” His arms reared back.

Cassia ran around him, throwing the bag behind her. The Golurk swiveled his torso, his legs remaining in place. He slammed his arms, the Zoroark leaping away from the impact.

Grom rushed forward, coursing ahead with his thrusters. Cassia leapt away, scratching his back, creating a trail of mist into her body. A ball of red flame appeared in her hand, and she threw it at Grom.

He lifted his arm and blocked the impact, shuddering. He knelt down, then held his arm out, a dark sphere growing at the palm.

Cassia ran toward him, and Grom fired the sphere. She jumped over it, then landed on Grom’s shoulders, grabbing hold of his neck. The Golurk stood up and swung his arms back, reaching for the Zoroark. She tucked her legs back, pounding Grom’s head to no effect.

Grom suddenly stopped, then fell backwards, expecting to crush Cassia. She let go of Grom and scrambled out of the way, taking a sizable rock from the ground.

The Golurk pushed himself up, then searched for Cassia, who was nowhere in sight. He scrutinized the surroundings, knowing that she couldn’t have escaped so quickly. He noticed a slight shimmer in front of him, then reared back his arms for a punch.

The shimmer broke as Cassia leapt from it with a yell. She swung the rock against Grom’s head, knocking a spherical chunk from the top, the sparking stone rolling on the ground.

Grom’s lights flickered and his head sparked. He wobbled drunkenly, then fell forward with a slam, dust ballooning around him. His eyes fell dark.

Cassia breathed quickly, picking up the stone that rolled from his head. The light within it faded as she took the bag and stuffed the stone inside, ensuring that Grom couldn’t be repaired so easily.

A light snapped on in the Master’s Tower, and a silhouette descended the stairs. Cassia breathed in sharply, disappearing.

Soon after, Gardner burst from the door, looking around wildly. “Who did that? I demand to know!” His eye came to Grom. It widened.

The door slammed behind him, and he turned back with a grunt. “What?” He pulled at the handle, but the door was locked. He slammed it and roared, “Open this instant! Don’t you know who I am?”

Moments later, the door burst open, batting Gardner to the ground. Cassia rushed out, the Arceist Tome poking out of her bag.

Gardner hovered upward, rubbing his chin. He noticed Cassia and growled. “You’re not getting away that easily.” He burst into puce fog, the vapor rapidly approaching the Zoroark.

It enveloped her, and Cassia tried to wave it away, coughing. Gardner chuckled. “You haven’t met a Ghost before, have you?” A glowing purple fist appeared in the fog and punched Cassia, knocking her to the ground.

The Dusknoir rematerialized over her, crossing his arms. “As much as I’d love to see you disappear from my life, Arthus wouldn’t appreciate it.”

Cassia rubbed her lip, baring her teeth. “Let. Me. Go.”

Gardner growled, grabbing her arm. “What makes you think I’ll do that? I listen only to Arthus!”

Grom’s lights flickered.

Cassia scratched his arm, causing Gardner to grunt and grab her other arm. He pushed her down and shouted, “You don’t think I am ready for such tricks? Your natural abilities are useless against me!”

Grom’s eyes burst with flame.

Cassia pulled against Gardner, exclaiming, “I can’t stay here! Not with him!”

“But he’s your father. That precious Tome of yours must have something about being obedient to your parents.”

Grom’s inner workings whirred.

Cassia eyes drew close to Gardner’s. “He killed them.”

“Graaww!”

They both looked up, freezing in place as Grom stood up, his head sparking with red electricity.

Cassia forced herself to look away and pulled her arm out from Gardner’s grip and scratched across his face, causing him to scream and cover it, dampening the violet mist flowing from the wounds.

Grom pounded forward, rearing back his fist. Cassia leapt out of the way as Grom threw a gargantuan punch at Gardner, sending him flying into the roof of the tower and through the tiles with a crash. The light inside went out.

Cassia looked up at Grom, her heart pounding as she shook. The Golurk—his face appearing upside-down to her—cocked his head. “Graw-hawm?”

Cassia cocked her head as well. “What did you say?”

His arm moved, causing Cassia to flinch. He lowered it, then held it out to Cassia. “Gro?”

Unsure of what to think, Cassia accepted the hand, then allowed herself to be pulled upright. She studied Grom, then said, “Can you…talk?”

“Gro-hawm?”

“Can you…remember anything?”

He fingered the gap in his head. “Gro?”

Lights came on in the other houses, and doors started to open. Sensing danger, Grom grabbed Cassia’s sides and lifted her up. She eeped, holding on to Grom as he crouched. “Wait, wait! What are you doing? I want to—”

Bo-o-o-o-m!

Grom burst from the canyon into the open air, the Master’s Tower rapidly shrinking as they fled.

The night wind rushed by Cassia’s ears as she looked back despairingly. She remembered memories of her life with Arthus, and her tears returned.

“I’m sorry.”

~~~~

Arthus stood outside the gates, holding the Seal of Creation in front of his face. “She’ll…she’ll get over it…she’s only a child.” He sighed and dropped it, pushing open the door. “I should go apologize.”

A boom echoed from inside the Guild, and Arthus burst inside, watching Grom thrust out of the walls and into the distance, his crimson flare barely visible.

Arthus ran to his launching point and shouted, “Where do you think you’re going?” He growled and threw his arm in the air. “Oh, forget it. He’ll be back before long.” He stepped toward his house and muttered, “I’ll just have to watch her myself.” He stopped, noticing the door open. He cocked his head and pushed it open. “What?” He entered, studying the room; nothing was out of place—except Cassia wasn’t there.

He paced around the furniture, eyes narrowed. “Cassia? I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier.” He twisted his head, scowling. “Are you invisible? Why are you refusing to talk to me?” He came to the counter, picking up a leaf of paper with his name in curved letters.

“Hmm?” He sat on his chair, his eyes flitting as he read its contents.

Dad, or more accurately, Arthus:

You have lied to me. All my life, I believed you were a good Pokémon, one who showed others the same kindness you showed me. I know now that you are nothing like that. You kill and torture Pokémon, claiming it is for the better, when in reality you just want to vent your anger on them.

I’ve read from the Arceist Tome ever since I could. It teaches only truth, unlike what you have said. I’ve had it confirmed to me when I was young. Everything in its pages defies your ideology, and I refuse to live in it anymore. No, this is not my fault.

It is only yours.

Cassia

Arthus’ claws quaked, the letter rippling. His eyes widened in sheer astonishment and rage. Red flames crackled against the letter, putting it alight.

“She…she left me.” He bared his teeth. “She betrayed me.”

Arthus rose, his limbs continuing to shake. “Are you happy now, Arceus? You have taken her from me.” His eyes glowed red, and his claws emitted mist. “Just like Matheus!”

He roared and crushed his chair. “I showed her love!” He pulled down the shelves. “I cried with her!” He ripped off the cabinets. “And this is what I get!” He flipped over the bed. “All of that, wasted!” He crushed and destroyed everything he could lay hands on, his blind rage encompassing all, just like the ever-growing flame.

It grew to consume the entire house, and Arthus charged through the wall out into the open. He stared at the bonfire he had created, then shaking his fist, roared, “Why do you have to torture me!” He fell to his knees and wept for the loss of his daughter.

 

[Ambyssin]

*looks at scroll bar* Hoo-doggy, looks like we're in for a long one here. *cracks knuckles*

Ah, so this is picking up right from the prologue, after Arthus killed Cassia's parents in front of her (I, of course, now realize that was Cassia, which I didn't know at the time). Arthus' line at the end leaves me to believe that Cassia is, in some strange way, an attempt at recreating the family he lost at some point? He named her after his wife. It's quite clear that he's really latched onto his past attempt at a family and it does make you feel for the guy a bit. Though I, uh, sure hope that messed up is what you were going for with this. Because it feels messed up to me. It's certainly interesting to see this softer side of him, that's for sure. Interwoved with his rather grizzly orders to Gardner, who's (rightfully) skeptical of all of this.

Minor nitpick: why would Arthus snap his fingers to conjur an illusion? Wouldn't that give away his position if he's in some sort of battle? I know snaps can be quiet, but still, Pokémon have good hearing. Other nitpick is why she's not focusing on disguising herself, first. Since, at least, all the canons out there seem to suggest that's where these species start. Nitpicks aside, little!Cassia is very cute, trying so hard to focus on learning illusions and making hers perfect, like her "dads." Bless her, she's trying. And, while I know it's controversial in the fandom, I really do like it when writers let Zoroark/Zorua illusionary powers extend beyond simply hiding their appearance. It brings to mind the Zoroark movie, which I quite enjoyed. In any case, Cassia's sudden discovery seems to make Arthus rather happy. Is there any way you could express that other than "his eyes taking on a maddened look?" Personally that feels a bit too blunt. Like, you're outright telling me Arthus is stark, raving mad, rather than leaving me to decide whether I think he's sane or not.

Nice to see a bit more explanation about Life. Namely, what it's capable of. Which is a lot, for sure. And it's interesting to see that Cassia's drawing skills actually came from Arthus. That's... surprising, I'd say. Considering it seems like she wanted nothing to do with him anymore, you'd think that would mean she had given up drawing. But I guess I'm wrong on that front. I also like the line comparing illusions and drawing. It felt... contemplative. It was a nicer glimpse into Arthus' mind than some of the rambling speeches he's given us before. Sometimes quiet moments like this are great ways for building character.

Something I also like (and wish we could've seen more of) is bringing up the idea that evolution is not always such an easy transition for Pokémon. More specifically the adjusting to a new body ordeal. I'm guessing Arthus is referring to Matheus in that little bit there (which is a story for another time, I guess). I'm not sure if Cassia's supposed to be getting suspicious of Arthus with the Usurper (and the wife having the same name stuff). Like, I feel like she should be suspicious... but she isn't.

And look, it's past!Grom! Talking and everything! He... really plays up the automaton angle here. But I can appreciate that. I like characters who are totally robotic. Especially when they can maintain that character and contribute some snark or humor to a situation. Which it certainly feels like Grom does with the naming tidbit at the start. And he maintains it pretty well while launching into full-blown exposition mode regarding Arthus. You sold me on his neutrality pretty well. The part where the guild 'mons talk about Arthus felt... off. For one, their dialogue seemed kind of wooden, when we've been led to believe they're pretty thuggish on the whole. On top of that, if they're really that nervous about Arthus, why would they speak so openly and brazenly about stuff like that? His deeds seem like the type of thing they'd want to specifically avoid saying anything about, out of fear of retribution from Arthus.

On the brighter side, it's nice to have a clearer understanding of what exactly Arthus is planning with that seal. Again, it feels very Cyrus-like. But instead of "world without spirit" it's "world without evil." Of course, I don't trust his version of "world without evil," but I'm guessing that's the point here. With that in mind, while I do like that Cassia gets her badass moment against Grom, I was a bit disappointed that she's being guided by Matheus. Now, I really don't know what kind of guy he is, at this point. But, considering how much he's been brought up as a prophet of sorts who can do no wrong, it's a bit, well, tough to root for him. Because he's too... perfect. I'd have much rather seen Cassia come to the decision to abandon Arthus of her own accord, rather than having Matheus tell her to using some sort of mental link.

But at least it ends on a good note. Good in the sense that Arthus' little breakdown is well-written. And you can clearly see that he is still incredibly selfish and thinks that all this bad stuff is happening to him, and not because of him (an important distinction!). Clearly, raising Cassia did nothing to change him. Which, if you're writing a villain to get me to hate, is a plus in my book.

 

[lucarioknight56]

Is there any way you could express that other than "his eyes taking on a maddened look?" Personally that feels a bit too blunt. Like, you're outright telling me Arthus is stark, raving mad, rather than leaving me to decide whether I think he's sane or not.

I agree, that did feel a little off when writing. I'll keep that in mind when I make my edits.

And it's interesting to see that Cassia's drawing skills actually came from Arthus. That's... surprising, I'd say. Considering it seems like she wanted nothing to do with him anymore, you'd think that would mean she had given up drawing.

That will be touched on in Part 2, along with the events that precede Lawrence's coming to Equivos.

I'm not sure if Cassia's supposed to be getting suspicious of Arthus with the Usurper (and the wife having the same name stuff). Like, I feel like she should be suspicious... but she isn't.

I guess I should make it more clear that Cassia is doubtful that Arthus is really the Usurper, as it describes in the Arceist Tome that he would be one of the most evil Pokemon in the world, especially for taking Arceus. From her viewpoint, he's the greatest Pokemon in the world, incapable of wrong.

The part where the guild 'mons talk about Arthus felt... off. For one, their dialogue seemed kind of wooden, when we've been led to believe they're pretty thuggish on the whole. On top of that, if they're really that nervous about Arthus, why would they speak so openly and brazenly about stuff like that? His deeds seem like the type of thing they'd want to specifically avoid saying anything about, out of fear of retribution from Arthus.

I can understand your point there, and I think it warrants a rewrite.

With that in mind, while I do like that Cassia gets her badass moment against Grom, I was a bit disappointed that she's being guided by Matheus. Now, I really don't know what kind of guy he is, at this point. But, considering how much he's been brought up as a prophet of sorts who can do no wrong, it's a bit, well, tough to root for him. Because he's too... perfect. I'd have much rather seen Cassia come to the decision to abandon Arthus of her own accord, rather than having Matheus tell her to using some sort of mental link.

Yeah, no one's really seen Matheus' true nature yet. He very much has done wrong, as was briefly mentioned in Chapter 1, when he corrects Hoopa. It was a more recent reivison, so I can understand you not noticing. Regardless, I agree with Cassia abandoning Arthus on her own, and I can probably just have her devote more thought into her actions instead of having Matheus tell her what to do.

Clearly, raising Cassia did nothing to change him. Which, if you're writing a villain to get me to hate, is a plus in my book.

In Arthus' mind, everything he does is for the good of the world, while Arceus is a flawed creator in allowing Pokemon the choice to do wrong. I would really like to talk more about his path to this point, but that will have to wait for the prequel, PMD: Legends Awakened.

Thanks for your thoughts! I'll get to work on the edits straightaway, and will post them after canisaries reviews.

 

[Misfit Angel]

Yo, review game time.

I should say two things. First, my standard "I'm not a huge fan of PMD". I try my best to set aside my biases against the genre by focusing on the important aspects of a review more, such as spelling, grammar, characters and coherency. Second, I'm not a frequent reader of Unequivocant like you've requested, but it's time to move the review game forward and I'm pretty sure the only people who are frequent readers are unelligible for pushing it forward. So here I am. Let's go!

Plot
You weren't wrong when you said that someone who was just jumping in for this would be a little bit lost. I went back and skimmed some of the previous chapters (parts of 1, 7 and 8 specifically) and things made a bit more sense. If I had the time, I'd go back and look at them all, but...

The arm wrestling scene felt a little... strange. Though Lucario is a fighting-type and would likely have an advantage over most other species, I would never expect one to win against the king of bodybuilding, a Machamp. The fact that he was nearly beaten and then just won without much effort at the end felt like some bad writing to me.

I'm also not sure what was up with describing that he felt something against his leg, which I'm assuming was Cassia's hand. I assumed she infused him with power to help him cheat the match, but her confusion about it just a few lines later makes me think this isn't the case. So now I'm left wondering if it's some sort of hidden power locked away within him that has either been explained elsewhere, or will come back as a plot point later on. Either way, I walked away confused and wondering what the point was.

I started to get lost around the time the hooded figure spoke with Grom. I don't know much about Grom, but the manner in which he speaks makes me think that his ingelligence is low enough that he can be manipulated easily. Or perhaps the blue flame in the figure's hand was some sort of threat? I'm not sure. In fact, reading further to the point where the hooded figure's identity is revealed, I'm still a little unsure about Grom. It's probably clearer to someone who has read the entire thing, though, so feel free to ignore this thought of mine!

When I got to the part about Charles Lapras' house, I was fully lost. At this point, I'm starting to think this is where and why you wanted someone who read earlier chapters. However, as I read further, I did (at least partially) understand the impact of both major things that were revealed after this point: Cassia's disguise and Mattheus' return. They both throw Lawrence for a complete loop as he expected neither.

While I don't know everything about the universe you've crafted here, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that these twists are shocking to someone who's read the whole thing. They certainly seem to be!

Setting

• The setting feels kinda bare bones in most places, but I imagine that's because this is chapter 9. Things have probably already been better established in previous chapters/stories, so I won't hold that against you.
• That said, I absolutely loved the atmosphere you created for the Greasy Feebas (delightfully disgusting name, btw).

Characterization
As I'm unfamiliar with this story in a broad sense, I'll focus on the minor characters. I wouldn't feel right raising concerns about the main cast, as they'd probably be unfounded. I'll leave that to your regular readers.

• I love Mored and his goons. No seedy bar is complete without someone like him. And the idea of challenging a Machamp to an arm wrestling contest is hilariously short sighted.
• Ugh, Lucille is such an unreasonable bitch. Jealous that her husband is trying to take an order from a female customer, of all things. I'm sure there are people out there who are genuinely that crazy, but this almost feels unrealistic.

Technical
I didn't notice any glaring errors. Spelling and grammar appear to be well done and consistent.

Style
Overall, the style is pretty good. It's easy to read, easy to follow and rarely did I find myself lost or stumbling through a sentence. But, I'll list out my thoughts and some personal changes I'd suggest:

“Let’s see...we need to get stuff before we leave, but I’m not sure how we’ll do that without any money…”

Personally, I would change "stuff" to "some supplies", to reiterate that they're travelling. "Stuff" just sounds so unspecific and unnatural for someone to say.

“Welcome to the Greasy Feebas, best Cheri Juice this side ah the Xilo Mountains. Name’s Lonny; what can I do ya for?”

I get what you're doing with Ambipom's accent, but I'd personally change "ah" to "o'". It better signifies that he's shortening/mispronouncing "of".

The sunset reflected across several of the grains, flashing in the sun.

Maybe this can't be said of all sand, but I've never known the sand in my local area to by shiny enough to catch sunlight in the way you're describing here. I don't think this needs to be changed, but I figured I'd point it out for your consideration.

reaching for the still-burning Tome, just out of reach.

Though the Arceist Tome is an important book, I wouldn't capitalize tome in this case. I would only do that when referring to it with its full name. It feels out of place otherwise.

This is something unrelated to chapter 9 that I found in chapter 2, while trying to remember/find out which pokemon species Lawrence is (yes, I'm a dummy and didn't continue reading until the point where he's blatantly called a Lucario at one point, as I assumed it wouldn't happen):

“Pokemon! A dimension full of Pokemon, with no people!” Lawrence exclaimed. H

The sentence cuts off with that H. Considering the first letter of the next line is an H, I'm guessing this is just a mistake and not an unfinished line.

 

[lucarioknight56]

Thank you very much for your review @Misfit Angel, even if you don't necessarily have a clear idea of what's happening. Any review is appreciated!

Also, for everyone to know, I have written the second part of the bonus chapter, and have determined that a third part will be necessary to more full explain Cassia's past. However, knowing that I have to return to the main story at some point, this third part will be posted at the same time as Chapter 10. I realized this after reaching what would be the emotional climax of the chapter, and the fact that I'm 7000 words in for it; the second part would be too long to feasibly post in one go if I incorporated my full plan.

To put it simply, a third part will be posted at the same time as Chapter 10, which will be posted two weeks from now. Expect it to be on the shorter side of things, but it will nonetheless be a good chapter!

 

[canisaries]

Sorry for getting to this pretty late, been really busy the past few days. On top of that, the forum text editor decided to apparently just forget all about my draft when I was halfway through, meaning I had to write almost everything all over again. (I had a safe file for the draft, but I hadn't saved it in a while - this is why some stuff might be quoted out of order, but it shouldn't really matter) It's a shame, but that's life sometimes, I guess. Anyway, bonus chapter 1! At least I managed to review before the second came out. ;P

The storms of Arthus’ coming had long since quieted, the tumultuous rains finally stilled.

Normally I'm not for any kind of "dumbing down" of prose or such, but maybe a word as rare as "tumultuous" shouldn't appear in the very first sentence. It's pretty intimidating, even if it made me learn a new word.

“I’m here! I’m here!” he wheezed. His eyes softened upon seeing the Zorua, his rage hours ago gone.

definitely didn't read that as "rage hours" several times like a total moron. real rage hours, who up

“Right, how could I forget; you’re too young. They wouldn’t have named you until you cast your first illusion.”

Whoa, that's a really cool idea, having Zoruas earn their names from their illusions, like a rite of passage.

Cassia sat on the pillow, curled up into a terrified ball. Arthus held her aloft as he knocked on the door, patting her head. “It’s alright Cassia; I think you will enjoy living here with me.” The door creaked open, and Arthus snapped his fingers, a rush of wind blowing past them.

How is he holding her aloft, levitation? It's not totally apparent, but I guess it must be levitation since you'd need more than two hands to hold a pillow, knock on a door and pat your daughter's head at the same time.

Also, this is probably just a question of preference, but to me "door" just by itself sounds pretty small for a fortress entrance. "Gate" would be bigger, or the door could be described more.

Arthus pushed a claw into Gardner’s chest. “Her name is Cassia, and I don’t care for your tone. You seemed like an obedient and eager servant just a night ago, yet you’re already becoming a dour and mutinous one.”

haha i love how they're like an old married couple about this.

Arthus leaned close and jerked the Guildmaster toward his face. “Since when did you grow a heart? I made sure to disguise…you-know-what, before I entered. All she sees are sacks of berries.”

Gardner nodded his head. “So, no blood, no—”

“No nothing! Keep it down!” the Usurper hissed. He looked down at Cassia and whispered. “I’d rather not have her discover my…admittedly, weaker side.”

hahahaha that's messed up i love it

Imprisoning me for two-thousand years is hardly a way to show your love, isn’t it?

"Hardly" actually makes a sentence negative (compare by substituting with "not"), meaning "is it" rather than "isn't it".

Weirdly enough, I could not find an online source with an example for this to prove my words, but I did ask my English teacher today and she agreed, so now you have her word too.

Hours later, darkness hung over them instead of the bright midday. Arthus sat cross-legged in front of Cassia, his eyes closed and his fingers interlocked. Cassia sat on her haunches expectantly, wondering what he was going to do.

Not sure why they had to wait until nighttime? They don't seem to do anything night-specific, so it seems like it would have just made more sense to tell this right away rather than wait hours.

The Zorua hurriedly closed the Tome and shoved it underneath a shelf, then pulled down another book, making it seem that she was instead reading from that.

Don't think the very last part is needed, it's implied enough in the context and spelling it out kinda waters it down.

“Well, we’ll start with basic attacks, then upgrade to what you can do with Life.” He held Cassia’s paw, giving her a hard look. “I want you to promise me that you won’t question what I ask you to do. I am a very busy Pokemon, what with a Guild to run. Will you do that for me?”

Unsure of what he intended with that, Cassia nodded her head.

uh oh that can't be good

“Wait, Dad?” Cassia asked. Arthus stopped, turning his head. “Do you know who the Usurper is?”

Arthus’ eye twitched, then he rubbed it, growling. “When did you hear that name?”

ouch

Well, I feel sorry for old Arthus, but then again he killed all those people so can't say he didn't have it coming.

Arthus grabbed his neck and shook him. “Quiet.” He turned to the Golurk, then pressed his hand against it. “Awaken!” Red mist coursed down his arm into the giant frame, the light within beginning to flicker.

obligatory

Anyway, having Grom be built for Guild purposes actually explains his "evil" colors, which is cool. I'm glad that so far all the most unusual colorations have turned out to have actual reasons behind them (such as Cassia's eyes), it's a lot more purposeful than just "it looked cool lol". The rest of the special colorations are very believable natural-looking variants.

This teacher will be the culmination of my great work, one to bring my creations closer to me, both in heart, mind, and spirit.

Both can only be used for two things, with three... I can't come up with a replacement right now, but I know "both" won't do.

Cassia looked past the fence, which appeared to have nothing but buildings beyond. She knew that Arthus had made a long-lasting illusion to help her practice in peace, even if it didn’t feel natural. She hardly interacted with the other Guild Pokemon, and wondered how they saw her and Arthus.

Cassia's early years are pretty well shown, but there's one foggy aspect about it. Why didn't she in all these years ever venture out on her own? Kids and teens tend to be pretty adventurous and curious, so it seems like a stretch that she'd never attempt to escape before, even if she was warned against doing so. Perhaps she did try it once but had a very bad experience? I'm curious.

How do you know these things!

I prefer question marks with questions, since it's most often apparent from the context that they're already yelling.

He stormed to the counter, and Cassia paled. The Usurper reached underneath, yanking out the Arceist Tome and holding it up. “It’s this, isn’t it? I thought you had forgotten about it, so I didn’t bother taking it out. But you’ve been reading it, haven’t you? Reading its lies!”

The Tome is a pretty important and influential book to leave lying around your kid... I think it would be more believable if it was there by mistake and/or Arthus forgot about it, otherwise it really would have made more sense for him to take it away long ago.

She considered his actions. Everything she remembered was good, but what she heard was wrong. Arthus never refused it when confronted, and even the Tome proclaims that he is one of the most vicious individuals to come. After that experience years ago, where the light confirmed to her the truth of the tome, she knew it was true.

If Arthus was a cruel as the tome said he was,

Tome uncapitalized twice.

Gardner cackled, grabbing her arm. “What makes you think I’ll do that? I listen only to Arthus!” Behind Cassia, Grom’s lights flickered.

Pretty minor thing, but that last sentence initially made me think he'd snuck up right behind her, while he was actually still lying on the ground. To be fair, just adding a line break before it might lessen that erroneous effect.

General Comments

The relationship between Arthus and Cassia is really sweet (you know, until the end). She really brings out his best side, and he seems to agree. She looked up to him and loved spending time with him, and so the realization of how terrible her father really was truly earthshattering to her and it shows. This chapter's a real emotional ride as you feel the conflicts of both characters and it also explains Grom's origin (hearing him speak actual words felt really wrong, lol). This had so much going for it that it's actually weird to think of it as a "bonus" at all, in the sense it would be extra or something, but I guess the main story's focus is more on Lawrence.

So, yeah, really enjoyed this chapter, even if it took me a long time to get through it because of both irl business and the length of it. Looking forward to the next.

 

[lucarioknight56]

@canisaries

Thank you for your response! I was wondering why you were a bit late for your usual review but I guess everyone gets delayed sometimes.

Whoa, that's a really cool idea, having Zoruas earn their names from their illusions, like a rite of passage.

There'll be more unique details about Equivos in the next two bonus chapters, so keep an eye out.

Anyway, having Grom be built for Guild purposes actually explains his "evil" colors, which is cool. I'm glad that so far all the most unusual colorations have turned out to have actual reasons behind them (such as Cassia's eyes), it's a lot more purposeful than just "it looked cool lol". The rest of the special colorations are very believable natural-looking variants.

He wasn't 'built' for the Guild persay...more changed.

Cassia's early years are pretty well shown, but there's one foggy aspect about it. Why didn't she in all these years ever venture out on her own? Kids and teens tend to be pretty adventurous and curious, so it seems like a stretch that she'd never attempt to escape before, even if she was warned against doing so. Perhaps she did try it once but had a very bad experience? I'm curious.

Well, you have to remember that she was relatively obedient to Arthus until she realized the truth. Her rebelliousness shown in the form of reading the Tome when he wasn't around.

Plus, there's a big scary ghost called Gardner out there. He would set Cassia back in her place if he spotted her.

This had so much going for it that it's actually weird to think of it as a "bonus" at all, in the sense it would be extra or something, but I guess the main story's focus is more on Lawrence.

I think of these chapters as more of a missing section of the story, something that would ordinarily be put first if it wasn't for her secret. Because of Lawrence, this is called a bonus chapter, but I'd give them a different name if I could think of one.

Thanks for your responses, and I've already made the changes needed, so take a look after I post them!

 

[lucarioknight56]

Chapter 11: Calling

2018 AU

In a clearing far to the east of the Guild, Grom slowly landed, his flames dying down and his feet thudding against the ground. The night was only illuminated by the stars, the new moon providing nothing. Deep within the forest, most creatures slept, despite the Kricketot chirruping around them, and the lights of Illumise and Volbeat dancing in the distance.

The Golurk set Cassia down, allowing her to step forward, astounded by the view before her. “I…never knew there was anything like this.” Her feet brushed against the soft grass, luxurious compared to the rough stone and weeds of the Guild.

She crouched down and brushed it with her claws, smiling slightly. “Why didn’t Da—er, Arthus, ever bring me here?”

“Because he was afraid.”

Cassia turned to see a pair of red eyes gazing from a tree, the owner a shadow leaning against it. “Ever since he lost his son, Erik, he’s wanted to have a family of his own—one done right. He killed your parents but didn’t realize you were there. He kept you out of guilt and expected you to love him without question—as well as obey him.”

Cassia furrowed her brow, stepping closer. “Who are you? How do you know all that?

The shadow stood straight, the moon revealing silver fur. “You are right to be skeptical, considering where you just came from. I’ve been watching you for some time from the Tree of Life, waiting for the time you would eventually leave.”

“Tree of Life? You’re a Legend?” Cassia asked, her eyes widening. The shadow stepped closer, and Cassia saw in the dim light that he was a silver Lucario wearing leather clothing.

The Lucario bowed, taking off his hat. “You may call me—”

“Matheus, the Guildmaster!” Cassia gasped.

Matheus shrugged. “Well, just Matheus will do, but—"

“No one’s seen you for thousands of years!” she interjected.

He tapped his head. “Not quite. I’ve had a few adventures out and about and made a few friends along the way.” He sighed, replacing his hat. “Still, I’ve had to be more private than I like to be for the past few years.” He looked up at Grom. “That wound you made in his head,” he pointed to the recess, “it disabled some of his major circuitry. He won’t be able to speak, or remember his previous life, without that stone in your bag.”

Cassia pulled out the cracked stone, holding it up. “So, this will make him change back?” Matheus nodded. She stuffed it back into the bag, driving it deep. “He’ll just go back to Arthus. It’s better for him to stay with me.”

Matheus nodded again. “He can act as a protector. You are certainly skilled, and from what I’ve seen, rival Arthus.” Before she could ask, he held up a paw. “We can talk more in the morning. Arthus will still be reeling over your departure; we won’t have to worry about the Guild for at least a few days.” He lay down next to a tree, propping his head on a root. “Make sure you choose somewhere nice and flat; you’ll have a hard night otherwise.” With that, he closed his eyes.

“Wait, you’re staying with me?” Cassia exclaimed in disbelief.

“In the morning,” Matheus repeated, grumbling.

Cassia stood still for a moment, then turned to Grom. He leaned slightly, his previous robotic nature seeming to have gone. “I never really paid attention to you outside of—” She cut herself short. “Never mind. What I mean is, do you…sleep?”

The Golurk cocked his head. “Grawm?”

Cassia held her chin in thought. “Do you do anything on your own?”

Grom’s eyes stared blankly. “…Gro?”

Matheus opened an eye and said, “You won’t get anything out of him. Not anymore.” He closed it again.

The Zoroark studied Grom’s hand, then held it in her claws. “Arthus made you come back to life. I guess it’s possible with Golurk, but knowing now what he does, he probably changed you. Changed you to be a better slave. You didn’t want to do anything on your own and didn’t care if you did. You weren’t what Arceus would have wanted.” Grom continued to stare.

Cassia rubbed Grom’s hand, feeling the coarse conglomeration of stone and metal that made it. “I don’t want someone to order around; I want someone that I can talk to. I want someone who will help me not because they have to, but because they want to.” She closed her eyes, and without realizing, red tendrils extended from her claws into Grom’s arm. “I want…a friend.”

Grom’s eyes blinked rapidly, then suddenly flashed. He looked down at his arm, noticing tears falling.

She fell to her knees, letting go of his arm. “I don’t know anyone except you and Arthus, and he’s gone and you’re not the same. I’m alone out here. I’ve run away from everything.” She covered her eyes, unaware of Matheus’ gaze.

Grom held up his arm, fingering the gap in his head. “Gro…” He crouched and wrapped his arm around Cassia, gently hugging her. “Graw-howm.”

Cassia sniffed, then looked up at him. “What did you say?”

“Graw-howm,” he repeated.

Cassia paused for a moment, then laughed, holding Grom’s arm. “I…know what you’re saying.” She closed her eyes and shifted in Grom’s embrace. “You want a friend too.” She closed her eyes, the Kricketot lulling her to sleep. “I’ll be your friend.”

Matheus made a slight smile, nodding his head. He closed his eyes again, knowing now that he did the right thing.

~~~~

The dim forest turned bright, and the birdsong of Fletchling filled the air. They flitted through birch trees and pecked bright yellow berries from bushes, their sour scent filling the air. A slight wind ruffled their feathers and disturbed their flight—as well as the slumber of a young Zoroark.

She snapped awake and shivered, unused to having the wind awaken her. She noticed that Grom still had his arm around her, and that her bag was no longer at her side.

“Choose a good spot?”

She looked to her left and saw Matheus sitting at a fire, pulling charred berries from a sharpened stick and tossing them into his mouth. Her bag sat at his feet.

He took more yellow berries from a pile at his other side, then stabbed the stick through them. “Better come get some before I eat them myself; I don’t like wasting food,” he said with a smile.

Cassia realized that she hadn’t eaten lunch or dinner the previous day. She ran to his side to take some berries. Grom stirred—his eyes dim—then went off into the woods, shuffling away.

Cassia went to take some berries but was promptly rapped on her hand by Matheus’ paw. She rubbed it as he said, “Roast them first; Wacan berries are too sour otherwise.” He took a stick from behind him and held it out to her. “Plus, it also teaches a lesson in patience.” He pulled out his own stick, then shoved it back into the flames. “Out here, you can’t be hasty to do things.”

The Zoroark accepted the stick and pushed berries onto it, then allowed the flames to lick their skins. “Where’d Grom go off to?”

“To gather Life, I’d expect. Golurk like him have to do that often, or else they go into hibernation.” Matheus gave her a suspicious look. “I’d never have thought that one of Arthus’ descendants would be able to control it like him.”

“Hmm?” Cassia asked, inspecting the berries she roasted.

Matheus scooted closer. “He had to do some awful things to use Life, and there was never any mention in those scrolls that it could be inherited.” He pulled off the berries, tossing one into his mouth. Cringing, he said, “Especially considering that Erik was already born by that point.”

Cassia turned to him and asked, “Do you know why Arthus turned against you? Why he wanted to…kill everyone?” She still found this truth difficult to believe.

Matheus sighed, rolling a berry in his paw. “As you may know, he had a difficult childhood, among other things. He wasn’t quite the same after his parents left, but he was still intact until I left to complete the Trials. When I came back months later, he had changed. He kept going on and on about how he’d make Pokémon do what’s right, and that the Seal of Creation would let him do that. I found out that his wife, Corrina, had died—because of him, no less.” He pinched the berry, the juices squirting onto the ground. “Anyone who knew what caused him to murder her or want the Seal are either dead or refusing to talk. Even Arceus refused to tell me. Outside of that, I don’t know much. Arthus distanced himself from me thanks to that cursed ghost, Gregorius, and I had to run away days later.” He closed his eyes and grimaced. “It still astonishes me still that he’d be willing to massacre thousands just to make everyone do good.”

Cassia plucked the berries from her stick, gazing at them sadly. “Was he a good Pokémon?”

Matheus halfheartedly smiled. “Oh, he was the best. We created the Guild together, years ago, all so Pokémon would be safe. He was happy, charismatic,” he laughed for a moment and said, “and the one who kept me in line. I was a rather reckless fellow in my youth.” His face darkened as he stabbed the stick into the ground. “But after I returned, he wasn’t happy. He was charismatic, but in a dark way. He was bearable before, but he turned into something far worse.” He grabbed the end and crushed it in his grip, closing his eyes. “His imprisonment certainly didn’t help matters.”

Cassia popped one of the berries into her mouth, puckering at the spike of sour. She cleared her throat, then, holding away the other berries, said, “What were those Trials anyway? The Tome didn’t reference them anywhere.”

Matheus blew out his breath slowly. “Well, that’s for good reason: only one Pokémon can complete them, so the directions to start them weren’t saved.” He tapped his hat and continued, “Basically, the Trials were a way to gain permission to enter Deitae, and earn a ‘great reward’, which ended up being my Legendhood. I was tested in three strengths—Mind, Body and Spirit, or Wisdom, Power and Courage. Call it what you will.” He sighed. “I’d rather not go into what I had to go through, but the important part was that I succeeded. Of course, what felt like several hours ended up being several months. I left Arthus on his own for that long, letting him be influenced by Gregorius.”

Matheus growled. “I don’t like dwelling on the past. I’ve had two thousand years to try and forget it, yet still, it hurts.” He took Cassia’s berries and ate them in one bite, swallowing hard. He spit at the ground, wiping his lips. “Bah, I’ve never liked Wacan.”

Thuds echoed in front of them, and Grom returned, his lights bright and his arms swinging powerfully. “Grawm!”

Shaking free of the despairing story, Cassia waved her claws in hello. “I like that you’re more awake too!”

Matheus crossed his arms and gave her a curious look. “You changed him last night.”

Grom towered behind them as Cassia twisted her head in confusion. “What? I didn’t do anything. I just talked to him is all.”

Matheus stood up, tapping Grom’s arm. “You did it without realizing it. Life is more erratic than you think; it’ll do things without you realizing.” He pointed at Grom’s head. “Arthus could block memories, so it's not too far-fetched to say he could change minds either. He’s not acting like a robot anymore; he’s acting more like a Pokémon. Even the Fletchling have noticed.”

Cassia looked up and her eyes widened. Grom held out his arms and craned his neck up, and Fletchling hopped around him, tapping his body and chirruping gladly. He made a contented chuckle, his voice shaking the earth.

Cassia looked back with a smile. “That’s never happened before.”

“Graaaw…” Grom replied, the Fletchling flittering away.

Matheus held his paw out to Cassia and said, “We were given knowledge, emotion, and willpower by the Enlightenment Legends, but Arthus changed him so he would be the perfect servant by taking away his emotion and willpower. You gave it back.”

Cassia accepted the paw, then reached around Matheus and retrieved her bag. “That reminds me of something I read in the Tome.” She opened the bag and began to pull it out.

Matheus stepped back and said, “‘And so the servants of Arceus bestowed a number of his creations with knowledge, emotion, and willpower. Knowledge to know his word, emotion to understand his word, and willpower to follow his word.’”

Cassia beamed, removing her hand. “You’ve read the Tome?”

Matheus grinned. “It’d be ridiculous for a Legend of Arceus not to read it, wouldn’t it?” He craned his neck, his ears twitching. “I think there’s a river near here.” He started walking away. “Leave your things; we’d rather not have anything get wet.”

The Zoroark held up the bag, then reluctantly set it down. She followed Matheus along the path, while Grom stood watch over their miniature camp.

She looked around her, amazed by all the life surrounding her. The trees rustled in the wind, and the birds chirruped. Pachirisu jumped amongst the branches, carrying berries with them to their homes. Farther away, Sawsbuck with pink flowers on their antlers grazed on the soft grass.

Matheus looked back at her. “You haven’t seen anything outside the Guild, have you?” She shook her head.

Matheus sighed despairingly. “We chose that spot for its defensive nature, not for its appearance. I’d feel sorry for any Pokémon who was raised there. Dust and shrubbery don’t make for a pretty place to live.” He looked back at Cassia, then turned away. “I take it you haven’t eaten fish then.”

~~~~

At the edge of the gently flowing creek, Matheus pulled off his leather coverings, his silver fur reflecting brightly in the sun, contrasting sharply with the yellow and black elsewhere. He knelt next to the water, hovering over a school of red Basculin, the wild Pokémon staring back.

“About the only fish I see outside the ocean. A bit bland, but a few berries do them wonders,” Matheus stated, scrutinizing the fish.

Cassia sat on a stump, peering down at the Basculin. Her mane hung down into the water, and a Basculin drew close to it, its mouth opening.

She yanked back her mane, pulling it close. “You really want to…eat them?”

“Why not? It says in that Tome that Arceus allows it. Just read Dictations 23, then you’ll see.” Matheus snapped his paw into the water and pulled out a Basculin by the tail. It wriggled and flopped helplessly to return to the water, but Matheus gave it a punch to the head. It fell still.

Cassia cringed, leaning away. “I…haven’t really seen a wild Pokémon before, let alone eaten one.”

Matheus shrugged, setting the fish aside. “I tried my first fish when I was younger than you. Ain’t that bad once you get around the fact that your meal’s staring at you.” He grinned, returning to his catching.

Wanting to leave the subject, she asked, “What do you know about Life?”

Matheus gave her a sideways glance. “I know a lot about life, considering how long I’ve been around.”

Cassia shook her head, laughing slightly. “No, not that life. I mean Life, you know, like what me and Arthus can use.”

Chuckling, Matheus looked away. “Couldn’t help myself. Anyway, I actually know quite a bit, as I wanted to be prepared for when Arthus returned.” He pulled out another Basculin and gave it a quick blow. “From what I’ve found out, it is capable of many things: it can be used much like Aura can, in that it can be formed into explosive spheres. You can also enhance other Pokémon by touching them or drain them the same way. It can also be used to alter memories and change minds, but it usually takes a lot more effort to do so. It can even be used to travel to other Life deposits scattered throughout Equivos.”

He set aside the Basculin and focused on another. “It does have its limits though. You can’t give life to a dead object—except Grom, who uses it more like a battery. You also require a supply of Life stored within the body, or you’ll just use your own.” He stopped for a moment, holding up a paw. “Unlike Aura.” His paw ignited in blue light, contrasting sharply with the red of Life.

He stood up, stepping closer to Cassia. “Aura is a calm energy compared to Life. Life is erratic and powerful, and it can’t really be contained once it’s out of control. Plus, Arceus never intended Life to be used in this way, and thus, is unpredictable.” He pressed his paws together, enveloping them in the light. “Aura, however, is different. It is fluid, soothing. It allows you to see the emotions of others, and to see their thoughts. It doesn’t require you to take energy from the living or dead, only needing a strong connection with another.” He opened his paws, revealing a tightly packed, azure sphere. “And, when needed, it can be used as a weapon.” He twisted to the creek and fired the sphere at a Basculin. It struck it on the side, driving away the others as the target floated to the top.

He took out the Basculin and held it up to Cassia. “Aura and Life are inseparably connected and are related to each other.” He threw the fish to her. “But they are not the same.”

Cassia stared in amazement as she caught the fish. Matheus smirked, then pulled on his cloak, taking the other two Basculin. He started walking back from where they came and said, “It’s been a while since I’ve shown off.”

She looked down at the Basculin, noting that the aura sphere left an impression in the Basculin’s scales. She traced it, astonished that Matheus could be so accurate with his shot.

“Aren’t you coming?” Matheus called.

Cassia blinked, then held the Basculin away from her, pulling a face. She stood up and ran after him, exclaiming, “Why’d you even give me this?”

~~~~

The Basculin, now stabbed through with sticks, lay planted in the ground, sizzling by the fire. Matheus carefully squelched Wacan berries on their scales, the juices seeping into the soft skin and spreading through the tender meat inside.

He leaned back and took a long sniff, then sighed contentedly. “Ah, perfect. Looks like those Wacan berries were some good after all.”

Cassia sat across from him, with Grom sitting between them, crouching and keeping his arms close. The Zoroark’s mouth watered, while Grom simply scratched his head, stone grinding against stone.

Matheus glanced at Cassia and smirked. “You know you want it.”

Cassia groaned then laughed. “It does smell pretty good.”

The Lucario pulled up a stick and inspected the Basculin, then nodded his head. “Looks ready to me.” He tossed it to Cassia, who caught it and froze, the eyes staring back at her.

Matheus took another Basculin and bit into it, ripping free a chunk of flesh. “Told ya you had to get used to it.”

Cassia cautiously took a bite, trying to push away the fact that she was eating a Pokémon. She chewed doubtfully, then gradually chewed faster as the sweet and sour flavor sunk in.

She took another ravenous bite, her hunger from yesterday striking in full force. Matheus grinned, waving his Basculin. “Good, ain’t it?”

Cassia nodded emphatically, turning to Grom. “You really have to try this!”

“Hawm?” Grom pointed to his head, where his mouth would be if he had one.

“Oh.” Cassia paused, then shrugged. “Forgot about that.” She continued eating her Basculin.

Matheus took another bite and swallowed. “Nice to see that you’re willing to try new things. Starting today, I’ll be teaching you more on how to live out of the comfort of the Guild. You won’t have to worry about Pokémon bothering you with Grom around, but he can’t help so much in making fires, gathering food, and finding places to sleep.”

He handed the other Basculin to Cassia, who had since thrown away the skeleton of her previous meal. “After that, I’ll hand you off to a good friend of mine to teach you more about the Tome.”

Cassia stopped and looked up, flecks of meat stuck to her lips. “Wait, you’re not staying with me?” she said, disheartened.

Matheus shrugged, taking a quick snap at his Basculin. “While I love keeping you company, I have other business to take care of. Arceus has to come first, and he’s given me assignments that I have to do on Deitae, which mortals like you can’t enter.” He set aside the Basculin and leaned forward. “Don’t think you won’t see me again though; you’re the first Pokémon I’ve really talked to in years, and I wouldn’t mind seeing you every so often.” He held out his paw, stretching over Grom’s legs. “Do we have a deal then?”

Cassia studied his paw for a moment, then accepted it, giving it a good shake. “Deal.”

~~~~

That night, Matheus opened Cassia’s bag and pulled out a thick blanket. “How’d you fit this in there?”

Cassia curled her fur around her claw, smiling sheepishly. “I, uh, packed well.”

Matheus laughed, spreading it on the ground. “Well, you’ve managed to do something better than me then.” He stood back up, his fur reflecting in the moonlight. “Now, lie down on it.” She did so, noticing how comfortable it was compared to sleeping on the bare ground.

“Now roll.”

“What?”

“Roll. In the blanket,” Matheus repeated.

Unsure of why he’d ask such a thing, she rolled, wrapping herself in the blanket. The warmth inside contained, the brisk night air did nothing to affect her anymore.

Matheus leaned down. “See why I asked you to roll?” He turned to Grom and patted his arm. “You’re on guard duty. Make sure you charge up.”

Grom saluted, then stomped off to find a life deposit. “Graow-howm!”

Cassia soon fell asleep in the blanket, resolving to use it from then on to sleep.

~~~~

Cassia was back in her room in the Guild, sitting on her bed. The chair in the center remained still, a red claw resting on its arm. Arthus sat in it, resting his head on his arm, his eyes dark.

“So…this is how you repay my love,” he calmly said. The eyes gleamed with cold blue light, then he bared his teeth. “Running away…running away from the only Pokémon who cared for you.” Dark tendrils encircled Cassia, pinning her to the bed.

Arthus stood up and slowly stepped toward her, his claws extended outward. “I still love you, however. But I can’t trust you. Not like before.” Mist flowed from the tips of his claws as he pressed them against her head. “Forget one thing…one thing only…” He pierced Cassia’s skin.

“Arceus.”

She screamed.

~~~~

Cassia bolted upright, breathing heavily and clutching her head. Ensuring that Arthus was away from her, she pulled away the blanket and crossed her arms around her legs, forcing herself to calm.

Grom turned his head, his eyes gleaming in the early morning light. “Graw?”

She sniffed, glancing at Grom. “It’s nothing. I…I just had a bad dream.” She shivered, feeling her head once more.

Grom twisted his body and trudged to her, then rubbed her back. “Haw-hawm. Gro.” Matheus continued to sleep on a tree, not noticing her plight.

Cassia looked up at him, smiling slightly. “Thanks.” Her smile faded as she remembered Arthus. “Do you think I’ll see him again? I want to stay away, but at the same time…” She considered all the wonderful times they had together. “He taught me to draw…to read…everything, really. He was always happy around me…and always sad when thought of Corrina.” She took a deep breath, then said, “He wanted to have a perfect family, yet he destroyed it. He blamed Matheus and Arceus…but he is the only one to blame.”

“Grawm,” the Golurk replied, shrugging. “Graw-grawm.”

“Yeah…it’s probably for the best.” Cassia rested against Grom’s body, the warmth of his inner workings heating him. “You’re surprisingly comfortable despite being made of rock.”

Grom looked at her curiously, then tapped at his frame, receiving clinks in reply. “Graw?”

Cassia chuckled, the warmth causing her to be drowsy. “Sorry…I forgot…” She dozed off, and Grom stood on his own.

~~~~

Cassia felt a poke to her nose and brushed it away, mumbling. She felt the poke again, then drove it away more furiously. It happened again, and she languidly opened an eye, seeing Matheus standing in front of her, holding a stick.

“Rise and shine. Day one’s waiting,” Matheus said, throwing away the stick.

Cassia moaned, forcing herself to stand up. Arthus let her sleep in most days, mostly because he was too busy with his Guild agenda to wake her early. ‘If Matheus is going to be like this every morning…’

She shivered. ‘I’m not a morning Pokemon.’

~~~~

“You can tell what direction you’re going by looking at the sky. The sun’ll always rise in the east, and set in the west,” Matheus explained. He and Cassia walked through the woods, with Grom lagging behind and looking around him for danger.

“How long will it take for me to learn everything?” Cassia asked, turning her head toward rustling leaves.

Matheus picked up a stick and scraped it against a spike on his paw, creating a long, curling shaving. “Well, I can’t stick around for long, so it’ll be more of a crash course. Mostly what to avoid, how to get from place to place, and how to root around for edibles. There’s more to it, like shelters and tools and such, but given that you’ll likely be going to towns in the future, I doubt there’s much a need for it.”

“Wait, I’ll need to go into towns? Like the Guild?” Cassia shrunk, remembering her last experience with other Pokémon.

“It’s a fact of life. I go into town every so often so I don’t have to survive on berries alone, and so I can have a proper place to sleep.” Matheus looked back at her. “Besides, with what Arianne’s got in mind for you, you’ll want to go to town.”

“What do you mean?”

Matheus made a sly smile, then turned back. “I’d say it’ll take about a week. That’s about how far away Arianne is anyway.”

Sensing that Matheus wasn’t going to tell her what Arianne was going to have her do, Cassia chose not to continue with the subject.

They continued walking for several more hours, then Matheus abruptly exclaimed, “Pop quiz: what do you do when you’re in a surprise attack?”

Cassia cocked her head. “Why?”

Matheus suddenly swung his paw back, aiming for Cassia. She eeped and leapt back, narrowly avoiding the Lucario’s blow.

She brushed back her mane and shook her head in surprise. Matheus crouched, going low to the ground. He made a slight smile and said, “Because you’re in one. Time to see how well old Arthus taught you.” He pumped his arms and dashed toward Cassia.

The Zoroark faded in a shimmer, and Matheus stopped. His ears twitched, and he smirked. He snapped his paw to his ear, catching an invisible limb. “He’s taught you well.” He pulled her arm and swung her to the ground, her illusion dissipating.

“Graowm!” Grom thudded toward Matheus, pounding his fists and causing his eyes to glow.

The Lucario released Cassia as she held up her arms in defense. “He’s not really going to hurt me!” she exclaimed. The Golurk calmed, his limbs lowering. He muttered to himself, then ventured off the trail, watching from the sidelines.

Matheus laughed, stepping back. “Should’ve remembered that; I wouldn’t want to tangle with him unless I had to.” He twisted back and grunted with a grin. “Now, let’s try that again. Rule number one out in the wilderness: fight well to eat well.”

Cassia stared at him for a moment, then flourished her claws, stooping. “I don’t think I’m better than you.”

Matheus nodded. “Right, I could beat you easily. How about this: you draw blood, I make my specialty soup tonight, and if I pin you down, you’ll get nothing but Wacan berries for dinner.”

Cassia grimaced, stamping her foot. “But that’s hardly fair!”

Matheus shrugged. “Well, when you’re hungry, you can’t be picky. You can’t always have what you like out here.” He held up a paw. “No using Life or Aura this time; they don’t react well on contact, and I’d rather not overwhelm you.” He cracked his knuckles. “Ready?”

Cassia nodded, then disappeared, sweeping toward the Lucario.

Matheus waited a moment, then punched to his right, receiving a grunt of surprise and a reappeared Zoroark. “Don’t go with the same tactic twice!” he exclaimed. He took Cassia’s arms and pulled them back.

She threw up her legs and kicked him away, releasing his grip and freeing her arms. She dove underneath Matheus and held out her claws.

The Lucario leapt upward, rising several feet in the air. Cassia stood up and gawked as he fell and landed gracefully on his paws.

“You’re making this too easy,” Matheus complained, running forward. He swung out his paw, but Cassia deflected it with her own strike, then went to slash again.

Matheus halted and thudded the claw with his paw, proceeding to hit with another. The two parried each other through various strikes, Matheus pacing forward and Cassia back. The Lucario couldn’t get a grip on Cassia, while she couldn’t land a strike on the Legend.

Matheus suddenly swept a leg under Cassia’s, making her fall back. He dove forward as she clawed the air in front of her and cried out, landing in the dirt. Matheus pinned her arms to the ground and splayed her legs, ensuring that she couldn’t get up.

Matheus remained in that position, smiling. “Looks like you’ll be eating Wacan for dinner.” A razor-thin line of red appeared on his face, contrasting with the bright silver fur.

Cassia grinned. “No, you’ll be making your ‘specialty soup’.”

Matheus faltered and dabbed at his face, staring in surprise at the smear of blood that appeared. He remained still for a moment, then laughed, standing up and offering his other paw to Cassia. She pulled herself up as Matheus exclaimed, “Good show, good show! You really had me for a moment.” He wiped his paws clean, then said, “Tonight, we’re having Tamato.”

~~~~

Over a steaming pot sitting over a roaring fire, Matheus crushed a spiny red berry in his paw, the juices and flesh dropping into the vat of similar color. He and Cassia sat on two sizeable rocks surrounding the fire, some distance away from a beaten trail. A burbling creek rushed behind them, while bushes with gleaming red berries surrounded them, avoiding an abrupt pile of loose dirt in the middle of the grass. The fire underneath the pot illuminated the area, providing a gentle glow for the three Pokémon.

A bandage now across his face and his paws washed, Matheus sniffed the concoction. “Ah, good thing I planned for this. That river we came across yesterday winded down over here, and I hid a pot near a bush just in case.”

Cassia hovered over the pot, her eyes reflecting the fire in the dark night. She took a sniff, then reared away. “It smells…hot.”

Grom, who had previously been throwing a cloud of dirt from the nearby pile, turned his head. “Hrawmm?”

Cassia laughed, shaking her head. “No, not like that.”

Matheus dipped his paw into the soup and took a drop, letting it fall onto his tongue. He blew his breath out slowly and exclaimed, “Hoo yeah, it’s ready to eat.” He reached behind him and took out two bowls, scooping a portion of soup out and setting them on another rock. He patted his leg and said. “Take your pick.”

Cassia took the one with the smaller portion and held it up to her mouth. Bits of berry flesh floated on top, the heat causing them to break apart and become one with the juice.

Matheus took his bowl and blew across its top, then took a sip from the edge. He sighed contentedly, leaning his head back. “Ah, it’s been ages since I’ve had Tamato soup.” He lightly shook his bowl at Cassia. “Go on, try it. It won’t kill ya.”

Cassia blew across the top and took a small sip. Her eyes widened, and she opened her mouth and fanned her hand across it. “Hot, hot!” she panted, setting down the bowl.

“Graw-haw-haw!” Grom chortled, holding his sides.

Cassia glared at him and said, “Oh, what do you know?”

Matheus chuckled, taking another sip. “It’s an acquired taste, I’ll admit. Still, once you get past the spiciness, it warms you to the core.” He looked up. “Sort of like Arceus, in a way. He admonishes you, but he loves you all the same.”

“How’s he like?” Cassia asked, intrigued.

Matheus thought for a moment, then said, “I’m not sure it's my place to say. Technically, I’m not really supposed to be telling you that I serve Arceus; that’s for you to decide.”

“Why’s that?”

Matheus set aside his bowl. “Well, think about it like this. You know from the Tome that Arceus resurrected me after Arthus killed me. You also know that I am sworn to serve him until the Day of Desolation, which no one but him knows the day of.” He leaned forward. “Suppose I told everyone about that, including those who haven’t read the Tome. Arceus wanted Pokémon to base their belief in him on that book and his teachings, not the physical evidence of his work.” He pointed at his chest and slid a paw across his side. “Right there is the killing blow. It was a nasty piece of work, one that you wouldn’t live to tell the tale. It goes from my stomach, all the way to my back.”

Cassia grimaced, taking a closer look. Indeed, right where Matheus traced, a thick scar raised the fur above it, clearly visible. “Could you tell me how you got it?” she asked.

Matheus looked up briefly, then leaned back. “Don’t see why not. You ought to know anyway, as it also has to do with how Arthus ended up imprisoned with Yveltal anyway.”

Matheus leaned forward and clasped his paws. “A bit of background, to start. I had been with Laryon for several weeks, heading to the Guild to rescue my sister, Azure; she raised him after his parents died. We made it there expecting for Arthus’ Pokémon to attack us, but they had all gone—deserted, apparently.” He narrowed his eyes. “Little did I know that Arthus had already managed to go to Deitae and absorb Arceus.” Cassia’s eyes widened. “He had taken the Seal only a few days before. I had expected him to use it right when he captured Arceus.”

“Yet he didn’t. Laryon and I had ascended the keep of the Guild and met with Azure along with Erik Zorua—Arthus’ son. Not long after, Arthus came, and demanded that he be with Erik. He seemed to want to use the Seal with Erik at his side because he was his last reminder of Corrina.”

Cassia’s face fell. “I…never knew that. I always knew about her, but he never talked about Erik.”

Matheus nodded slowly. “Arthus loved Erik as much as he loved Corrina. He wanted to create a perfect world with him—which ended up being his downfall.”

He sat straight. “Anyway, back to the action. He wanted Erik so badly that he went for Azure, who Erik ended up growing closer to in Arthus’ absence. Laryon at first guarded him, but I took over, and we fought for ages.

“We traded blows, him trying to push past me to Erik, while I was trying to get the Seal from him.” He furrowed his brow. “I don’t know why he didn’t use it. He could’ve taken Erik after he made his ‘perfect world’, but he never saw it like that. He almost seemed…hesitant.

“He knocked me down and ran for Erik. Laryon came in again and tried to fight Arthus, but he proved too strong. Arthus finally held out his claws and prepared to kill Laryon.”

Cassia gasped. “Why? He was only a Riolu!”

Matheus shrugged. “Pure anger, I’d say. Laryon had kept the Seal from him for years, and that combined with him protecting Erik finally made him do what he did to so many others.”

He leaned forward again, grim. “I couldn’t let that happen. I loved him like my own son and would have done anything for him. So, I took the killing blow.” He pointed at his scar. “Right here.”

He sighed, tapping his foot paw. “There was no way I was going to survive it. Arthus was stunned by my move, and in his confusion, Laryon took the Seal and activated it—just as I died.”

He remained quiet, dwelling. Cassia crouched forward. “What happened?”

Matheus shrugged slightly. “Can’t say I know, since I was dead. Laryon told me he was given Arceus’ power, and that he had a choice to change the world, just like Arthus wanted. Instead, he destroyed the Seal and released Arceus.”

“Must have been a hard choice,” Cassia commented.

Matheus waved a paw. “Not for him. I taught him after all.” He leaned back and said, “Arceus supposedly stopped Arthus in his tracks. He banished Arthus into Yveltal’s cocoon for causing irreparable damage to his creations, yet still found the sympathy to keep him alive. There he’d stay until the final years of Equivos.”

Cassia held a hand on her cheek. “That’s a lot different than I thought it’d be. It was so…personal.”

Matheus leaned back, “I think that I could convince a few Pokémon about my story if I wanted to…but that’s not how Arceus works. He wants Pokémon to have faith in him and his teachings, not to have a perfect knowledge. Otherwise, it ruins his purpose in creating us.”

“And what’s that?”

Matheus tapped his snout. “Read, and you’ll find out.” He smiled, then took back his bowl, taking another sip. “It’ll be rather chilly tonight, so eat up.”

Cassia gazed at her bowl, then hesitantly picked it up. “You know, you’re not what I thought you’d be. You’re more…fun, and not serious all the time.”

Matheus laughed. “Well, I am when I need to be.” He held up his bowl. “To Arceus, for granting us this world, and letting me meet you.”

Cassia held up her own. “Same here. I’m glad you’re here, Matheus.” She winked. “Thanks for telling me about yourself.” The Lucario winked back.

They both took a slurp, and Cassia tried her best not to cough from the heat.

~~~~

Long after they fell asleep, Grom stood in the center of the camp, near the smoldering embers of flame and the scant remnants of Tamato soup. Cassia slept in her bedroll to his right, while Matheus slept on a tree, snorting occasionally.

The Golurk looked about, noticing nothing unusual. His eyes began to dim, and he slouched forward, drifting into sleep after days of wakefulness.

~~~~

The Golurk stood in a vast desert, in his pristine, cyan self. He stood with hundreds of others like him, standing in rank and file. He turned to the other Golurk, expecting to see some sign of life. They stood still, not even lifting a finger.

One by one, they crumbled to dust, their powder blowing away in the wind. The crumbling tumbled toward Grom, daring to destroy him.

He groaned in dread and ran from his fallen comrades, the dust billowing in ballooning clouds. The earth cracked behind him, surging for his limbs. His feet ignited in yellow flames, jetting him upward. The cracks followed, creating onyx shafts in the air, all shifting toward him.

The cracks licked his feet, and his body began to rumble, focusing on his chest brace. He held it in place, moaning as he felt himself pulled apart. The black cracks enveloped the sky, creating a never-ending expanse of darkness. He crumbled further, and resolved to lose himself to the emptiness, his light dimming.

Red chains enveloped him, driving away the cracks. They tightened his limbs and held them in place, and Grom sighed in relief. The chains hung in the air, held by a pair of gleaming red claws. One handed an end of the chain to the other, then lowered toward Grom’s head.

The claw enveloped the top of his head, and spidery crimson threads arced from its ends. They weaved between the cracks and sewed them together, then glowed with fierce red light. The cyan darkened into blue, then to gray, then to black, the yellow light remaining the same.

Grom groaned, attempting to move. The chains restricted him, keeping his arms and legs in place. He tried to tear free, but they refused to let him go, despite him being saved from darkness.

He looked up at the claws and saw the threads wrap around his eyes. He roared, reaching for the gauze and trying to wrench it free. The threads glowed, and his light changed to orange. He felt his limbs become restricted in their movement, not by chains, but by some unknown force.

The web flashed again, and Grom froze. The orange had become crimson, and he felt a chilling emptiness in his core. His limbs refused to move, and he felt nothing. The chains fell away, and the claws removed the gauze, then hovered in front of Grom.

Grom wanted to tremble. He wanted to crumble with his comrades. They received their rest, yet he was torn from his fate, then warped and transfigured by an abominable creature. But now he had to serve some unknown master, free of will and of feeling.

The claws pointed to the right, and Grom lifted his arm. Beneath him was a Golett, his past. The claw pointed down, and Grom threw his fist down, shattering the Golett, the spirit inside screaming.

Grom screamed with it.

~~~~

The Golurk wailed, his eyes dim and his limbs shaking. The brace on his chest shook, jiggling loose of the screws that bound it. His light began to rise, but his eyes remained out.

Cassia opened her eyes slowly, awoken by Grom. She gasped when she noticed the Golurk, then pulled free of her roll. “Matheus wake up!”

The Lucario lifted an eyelid, then snapped awake. “He’s having a nightmare!” He leapt to his feet and ran toward him.

The clasp rattled against Grom’s chest, and his limbs began to whip around. Matheus ducked underneath him and exclaimed, “He’s going wild! We have to secure his brace, or he’ll overcharge and explode!”

Cassia nodded, running toward the Golurk, ducking underneath his arms. She leapt on top of his chest and grabbed the brace, pressing it against him. She hurriedly spun one screw back into him, then the other. The limbs stopped spinning, and the Golurk’s eyes sparked open.

He looked down, his chest shaking. “G-g-grawm. R-raw-hawm.”

Cassia slid off his chest, her ears tilting down. “Grom? Are…are you alright?”

The Golurk shook his head, then fell to his knees, clutching his head. “Rawm! Raw, rawm!” His entire body shook, appearing as if he wanted to express his grief in some other way, but was impossible.

Matheus stared at him, aghast. He held up his paw and watched it envelop in blue light, then pressed it against Grom’s arm. He gasped, then lowered his head. “I…I feel it. His…sorrow. His pain. What in Arceus’ name did he do to you?”

“Graw-graw-grawm! Hra-hrawm!”

Cassia breathed in sharply. “Matheus, remember what you said about me giving back his willpower and emotion?”

“Yes, what of it?”

Cassia held his arm, leaning her head against it. “He says he remembered what happened to him. He saw Arthus taking it away. He was dying like all the rest of the Golurk, but then Arthus brought him back, then changed him. He…he was forced to serve him and feel nothing. Nothing but…cold.”

Grom moaned piteously, shaking his head. “Gr-aw-aw-aw-m.” He lifted a handful of dirt, then let it drop from his fingers. “H-h-h-haaaaaaw.”

Cassia closed her eyes and cringed. “He…he wanted to die. He wanted to die like the rest of his friends, so that he could be free.”

Matheus gazed at him, wide-eyed. He removed his paw, then solemnly said, “So…Arthus tested his ideas on you.” He put a paw to his brow, baring his teeth. “He took your will to ensure you did as he said, and your emotion so that you wouldn’t feel tempted to rebel. He let you keep your memory, and therefore, your spirit, so that you can realize that you are doing what is right.” He clenched his paw. “To experience that…is indescribable. It’s exactly what Arthus wants: a world where you are forced to do good.”

~~~~

The morning after they forced themselves to sleep, Cassia awoke, noticing Grom no longer in his spot.

She looked around for a moment, then noticed the Golurk on his knees at the bank of the creek. He made no movement, simply looking into the water.

Cassia pulled herself out, then walked to him. She looked at his face, seeing his eyes dim, then she studied his reflection, noting how clear it was.

Grom turned his head slightly and said, “Gra-gra-grawm. Haw-gram.” He pointed to the reflection, then himself. “H-H-haw.”

Cassia rubbed his arm, leaning against him. “I know…what Arthus did was wrong. He should never have done that to you.” She looked at his reflection again. “And seeing yourself changed doesn’t help either.”

“G-Grawm,” he replied, nodding his head. He paused, then said, “Ho-hawm. Hawm.” He wrapped his arm around Cassia, gently hugging her.

Cassia nodded, then replied, “I’ll be here for you. We’ve both been hurt by Arthus. We’ll go through it together.”

They remained still for a moment, then Cassia held out a little black sphere to Grom. He stared at it, the crack in his head fizzling.

She rubbed it sadly. “I wanted to keep this from you, since it’s what let you be with me…” She continued to hold it out, watching Grom stare. “But it also took away your speech.” Her hand shook. “I don’t want to give it to you, but if you want to be whole again…I won’t stop you.”

Grom’s hand hovered over it momentarily, then retreated. He closed Cassia’s claws over it, then shook his head. “Graow-graw. Graw-haw-graow.”

Cassia held it out for a moment longer, cocking her head. “You…you think it will make you forget me? You don’t want to be stuck with Arthus.” Grom nodded his head.

Cassia thought for a moment, then beamed and hugged the Golurk. “Thanks. I didn’t want you to go.”

They remained sitting at the bank, the sun rising over the trees and illuminating their new day.

~~~~

Six days passed with few things of interest. Cassia learned more of how to support herself in the wild, including how to track Pokémon if needed. They reached the Minute Plains, where Cassia saw a small house in the distance.

The wind rushed past their fur, and the sun hung bright overhead. The long grass rushed underneath their feet, and Skitty ran through it, their tails poking above the thrashing green blades. Matheus trekked ahead of Grom and Cassia, who walked alongside each other.

The Lucario suddenly stopped, the house in view. He turned to face Cassia and Grom. “This is where we part ways.” He pointed to the house. “You’ll find someone named Arianne Gardevoir in there. Tell her that I sent you, and she’ll take care of the rest.”

Cassia looked toward him sadly. “Do you really have to go?”

Matheus shrugged, forcing a smile. “It’s just the way it has to be. She’d do a much better job than I ever could helping you teach from the Tome.”

“Wait, teach from it?” Cassia asked incredulously.

Matheus nodded. “That’s the calling of any who possess it. Read Proclamation 18; you’ll see it right there.”

Cassia pulled out the Tome and quickly flipped through its pages, coming to the mentioned line.

Proclamation 18—

And I do this work for the benefit of all, to help my creations come closer to me. This work shall be brought forth to the world and shall reach its culmination when the Teacher shall come forth. All who possess this work shall teach of me, so that my word is not forgotten.

Cassia looked up. “But I don’t know anyone out there!”

“Arianne will help you out with that. I’m not exactly a social Beautifly either.” Matheus waved his paw. “I will see you in the future. So long.” He turned around and sprinted across the plains, leaving Cassia and Grom on their own.

Cassia felt a lump rise in her throat. She leaned against Grom and waved back.

Grom patted her shoulder, shaking his head. “Gra-grawm.”

Cassia sniffed, nodding in reply. “Yeah…” She turned to the house. “Let’s go see Arianne.”

 

[Ambyssin]

I think of these chapters as more of a missing section of the story, something that would ordinarily be put first if it wasn't for her secret. Because of Lawrence, this is called a bonus chapter, but I'd give them a different name if I could think of one.

I mean, given this is three parts long, I could make the argument that this is basically a Special Episode (if you wanted to be true to the PMD games). But, given you're already splitting this into acts, I'm not really sure anything else would make sense. Then again, wouldn't it have been better to group these chapters into the last act? Because this act's title implies it's focused on Gardner, while the last one seemed like it was more about Cassia.

Anyway, for the chapter proper, I have to start out by addressing Matheus here. Specifically, the "I wanted everyone to think I was dead," thing. Or, as I affectionately like to refer to it, the "I hid myself while I repaired myself," moment (look up Mega Man X6 if you don't know what I'm talking about). Now, it's certainly possible that we'll get a more complete explanation at to what happened (and why), and that maybe my thinking's of. But this... this is one of those concepts that I feel like is rarely done right, and it always rubs me the wrong way when I see it. I get the feeling Matheus has or is involved in some sort plan. Some sort of gambit to outwit and/or defeat Arthus. But said plan involved laying low for several years (after getting revived), while Arthus was allowed to go around doing whatever the heck he wanted. Possibly furthering his plans. If Arceus can revive him, what's stopping him from pumping enough magic or Aura or what have you into Matheus to counter Arthus, exactly?

And that's where things get dicey for me. Because, with what little I've seen of Matheus, he's got a Jesus archetype going on. And I have a lot of trouble believing that, back from the dead or not, this chosen one would allow the world to "suffer" under Arthus' rule. It'd be one thing if he, y'know, needed to train and learn to control some power that'd stop Arthus. But that's clearly not the case. We already know Arthus is strong enough to kill him, and he says he's doing assignments given to him by Arceus. Maybe they're supposed to make him stronger? And, while he's our protagonist, Lawrence is actually a decoy who's not meant to stop Arthus, but is just along for the ride? It'd be an interesting twist. Be you leave it up to my imagination, and I'm having trouble seeing what sort of "greater good" Matheus was revived for than helping the Pokémon whose lives the guild are ruining since, y'know, he can't beat Arthus. Especially if he's going into the towns because he needs food and rest in a bed. Just, in general, I have trouble seeing why he's done what he's done and what made him wait so long to reach out to Cassia to start with. Especially since he later says he "wanted to be prepared for when Arthus returned." I understand that the best made plans can go belly up but my willful suspension of disbelief has a bit of trouble with this. Again, maybe it'll make sense farther down the road. But, for now, it's a gigantic question mark to me.

His insanity was bearable before, but it turned into something far worse.

This also strikes me as a bit odd. Why would Matheus have thought Arthus insane when they were friends. And, if so, why the heck didn't he ditch the guy? Sounds like he was setting himself up for failure.

On a brighter note, I do like the yin/yang theme you seem to have going here with Life and Aura. It's an interesting interpretation, and applies a little of the "light is not good," considering that, with a name like Life, you'd expect that magic to be helpful and not hurftul. Another good thing about the chapter is, of course, the foundations getting build for Cassia's and Grom's friendship. It's very sweet to see her open up to Grom that first night, and have him seem to react by regaining some semblance of free will. And illustrating it with all the cheerful little Fletchlings was a nice touch, because I know I've seen some pretty cute fanart of cute, cuddly little birbs hopping around on Golurks. The little moment where he comforted Cassia over her nightmare was very sweet, too. It wasn't milked for too long, but it wasn't too brief to make me wonder why it was there. It also gets a nice bit of reciprocity later in the chapter, complete with some pretty nightmarish implications about what Arthus has done to Grom. Something about "A world where you are forced to do good," just makes me think of a variation on Cyrus from the Gen IV games. In a good way, I suppose. The "tough love" bit with the practice battle was decent, too. Even though Matheus is friendly, he seems stern enough to sell it to me.

Anyway, looks like the next chapter should give us an answer as to why Cassia chose the Gardevoir persona. Can't wait to see how that plays out. One little bit before I go...

“It smells…hot.”

Cassia, you dork, things don't smell hot.

 

[lucarioknight56]

Then again, wouldn't it have been better to group these chapters into the last act? Because this act's title implies it's focused on Gardner, while the last one seemed like it was more about Cassia.

I can probably regroup the chapters, but let me correct you on one point: the act's name actually connects to Matheus, who is known as the Guildmaster Pokemon for creating the Guild in the first place.

Anyway, for the chapter proper, I have to start out by addressing Matheus here. Specifically, the "I wanted everyone to think I was dead," thing. Or, as I affectionately like to refer to it, the "I hid myself while I repaired myself," moment (look up Mega Man X6 if you don't know what I'm talking about). Now, it's certainly possible that we'll get a more complete explanation at to what happened (and why), and that maybe my thinking's of. But this... this is one of those concepts that I feel like is rarely done right, and it always rubs me the wrong way when I see it. I get the feeling Matheus has or is involved in some sort plan. Some sort of gambit to outwit and/or defeat Arthus. But said plan involved laying low for several years (after getting revived), while Arthus was allowed to go around doing whatever the heck he wanted. Possibly furthering his plans. If Arceus can revive him, what's stopping him from pumping enough magic or Aura or what have you into Matheus to counter Arthus, exactly?

You are right that there will be a more complete explanation as to why he laid low, but it may not be until late Act 3/4. There is a good reason for his actions, but I won't explain just yet. And this story isn't entirely about defeating Arthus, as you had just seen over the course of Act 2, with Cassia spreading the word of Arceus.

As for Matheus not defeating Arthus from the get-go, there is also a reason for that, but I'll let the story tell you why. I will say that in Act 1, in the scene with Matheus and Hoopa, he mentions that he was told by Arceus not to take action, and he didn't want to disobey him again. Food for thought.

Because, with what little I've seen of Matheus, he's got a Jesus archetype going on. And I have a lot of trouble believing that, back from the dead or not, this chosen one would allow the world to "suffer" under Arthus' rule. It'd be one thing if he, y'know, needed to train and learn to control some power that'd stop Arthus. But that's clearly not the case. We already know Arthus is strong enough to kill him, and he says he's doing assignments given to him by Arceus. Maybe they're supposed to make him stronger?

Matheus is by no means a 'Chosen One'; although briefly mentioned in Bonus Chapter 2, he completed a series of trials that actually earned his way to Legendhood. The only 'chosen one' idea I've used in this series was in the now-noncanonical first story, PMD: Legends Unraveled. In that story, Matheus' nephew, Laryon, was chosen by Arceus to prevent Arthus from using the Seal of Creation, which he succeeded in. The rewrite will follow the same thing, but in both stories, Matheus has not been chosen for anything.

As for the assignments...that's a different thing. I will say it does not have to do with Matheus training, but it impacts future events. Leaving the Pokemon of Equivos to suffer will also be explained, but, as before, will come later.

And, while he's our protagonist, Lawrence is actually a decoy who's not meant to stop Arthus, but is just along for the ride? It'd be an interesting twist. Be you leave it up to my imagination, and I'm having trouble seeing what sort of "greater good" Matheus was revived for than helping the Pokémon whose lives the guild are ruining since, y'know, he can't beat Arthus.

In between the planned prequel, PMD: Legends Awakened, and PMDUE, Matheus does serve the Pokemon of the world. But past 2000 AU, he serves the world in a different way...

I won't say anything on Lawrence's position in the story currently, as that will be best shown.

Just, in general, I have trouble seeing why he's done what he's done and what made him wait so long to reach out to Cassia to start with. Especially since he later says he "wanted to be prepared for when Arthus returned." I understand that the best made plans can go belly up but my willful suspension of disbelief has a bit of trouble with this. Again, maybe it'll make sense farther down the road. But, for now, it's a gigantic question mark to me.

Just as before, there is a reason for his actions, and they all stem from his leader, Arceus, just as all the Legends' actions do.

This also strikes me as a bit odd. Why would Matheus have thought Arthus insane when they were friends. And, if so, why the heck didn't he ditch the guy? Sounds like he was setting himself up for failure.

He was more playful with his first insanity comment, sort of how a good friend can come up with crazy ideas, or act rather dramatically, as Arthus does. However, he jumps off the deep end while Matheus is away, and that is what lead to Matheus ultimately leaving him over two-thousand years ago.

I can see why you have some confusion over his actions, but I will say it again: Matheus is not meant to be any sort of 'Jesus Archetype', a savior of the world. He hasn't done any saving of the world in the past either; he helped Laryon become who he needed to be, yes, but he ultimately died at the hands of Arthus. Laryon was the one who did all the saving, and he is ultimately treated with higher respect than Matheus--especially since the Guild turned for the worse.

 

[Ambyssin]

I can probably regroup the chapters, but let me correct you on one point: the act's name actually connects to Matheus, who is known as the Guildmaster Pokemon for creating the Guild in the first place.

Ah, that's my mistake. Guess he'll have a pretty central role when the main story resumes, then. But, still, considering this is Cassia's "arc" so to speak, I still think it might go better under act 2. Depends on what the last bonus part's about, I suppose.

As for Matheus not defeating Arthus from the get-go, there is also a reason for that, but I'll let the story tell you why. I will say that in Act 1, in the scene with Matheus and Hoopa, he mentions that he was told by Arceus not to take action, and he didn't want to disobey him again. Food for thought.

I don't have anything wrong with that. It sounds like a Xanatos Gambit. And, well, Ampharos did one of those against Dark Matter in PSMD, and I thought it was done pretty well. It's just that part of what made it work out well is that I didn't see it coming. Having Matheus drop hints that he's involved in some sort of greater scope scheme here just made me overly-curious, that's all.

He was more playful with his first insanity comment, sort of how a good friend can come up with crazy ideas, or act rather dramatically, as Arthus does. However, he jumps off the deep end while Matheus is away, and that is what lead to Matheus ultimately leaving him over two-thousand years ago.

Okay, I see what you're saying. But "insane" is not a playful word. I think something like "had a few screws loose," or "seemed a bit outlandish," would do a better job sounding playful. "Insane" sounds very blunt and hurtful.

I can see why you have some confusion over his actions, but I will say it again: Matheus is not meant to be any sort of 'Jesus Archetype', a savior of the world.

Understood. But Jesus =/= world savior. I more meant he's a religious figure of sorts, who God (Arceus) brought back from the dead to help spread his faith.