- Joined
- Nov 8, 2005
- Messages
- 9,632
- Reaction score
- 2,364
- Pronouns
- She/Her
- Staff
- #41
Post awards feedback!
Plot: Even though there are two others in the series, I will give the author props for writing something the audience can understand without having to read the others in the series. The prologue grabbed me right away, and immediately left me curious as to who the Usurper and Arthus were.
Once we find out who Arthus is, and how ruthless he can be, it makes me wonder who will rise up and defeat him--will the little Zorua turn against the only master he has ever known in the end, a la Star Wars? Or will another hero--the human-turned Pokemon--likely rise up to battle him?
Setting: From the get go, we know that this is definitely not the PMD you remember, and at times the story almost reads like The Lord of the Rings, filled with exotic place names and cataclysmic events. This is a bit of a double-edged sword, however--many times there is so much description, that I forgot the original being or item being described.
The Unova depicted here is obviously not the Unova you adventured through in BW and BW 2, which gives the author room to make the region their own--which they have, in grand fashion.
Characterization: This is both the story's biggest strength and biggest weakness--the characters are big and bold, and Arthus felt like Ghestis incarnated in Pokemon form (which is only fitting considering the human world is set in Unova). But this is also a double edged sword--the characters can sometimes come off as near caricatures in all their boldness and brashness.
Style: The story grabs you, and never lets go--there are quite a lot of twists and turns in just the prologue alone. By the time we finally get to breathe once we see the human world, we already have hundreds of questions about this world, and how the human-turned-Pokemon will affect it. My biggest concern was a lot of similar sounding names for characters--while the author has taken steps to correct this, it is still something to keep in mind and be aware of, so as not to confuse the audience.
I would also advise toning down the description just a little bit--while the descriptions were very vivid and detailed, they felt a little TOO detailed.
Technical: Just a few minor missing words here and there, but nothing that's a real deal breaker.
Overall, a very solid story that is shaping up to be PMD on an epic scale--in fact, it may be a good idea for the author to dial back some of the brashness and boldness, and work in more moments of quiet and levity. Regardless, I'm excited to see where this story goes!
Plot: Even though there are two others in the series, I will give the author props for writing something the audience can understand without having to read the others in the series. The prologue grabbed me right away, and immediately left me curious as to who the Usurper and Arthus were.
Once we find out who Arthus is, and how ruthless he can be, it makes me wonder who will rise up and defeat him--will the little Zorua turn against the only master he has ever known in the end, a la Star Wars? Or will another hero--the human-turned Pokemon--likely rise up to battle him?
Setting: From the get go, we know that this is definitely not the PMD you remember, and at times the story almost reads like The Lord of the Rings, filled with exotic place names and cataclysmic events. This is a bit of a double-edged sword, however--many times there is so much description, that I forgot the original being or item being described.
The Unova depicted here is obviously not the Unova you adventured through in BW and BW 2, which gives the author room to make the region their own--which they have, in grand fashion.
Characterization: This is both the story's biggest strength and biggest weakness--the characters are big and bold, and Arthus felt like Ghestis incarnated in Pokemon form (which is only fitting considering the human world is set in Unova). But this is also a double edged sword--the characters can sometimes come off as near caricatures in all their boldness and brashness.
Style: The story grabs you, and never lets go--there are quite a lot of twists and turns in just the prologue alone. By the time we finally get to breathe once we see the human world, we already have hundreds of questions about this world, and how the human-turned-Pokemon will affect it. My biggest concern was a lot of similar sounding names for characters--while the author has taken steps to correct this, it is still something to keep in mind and be aware of, so as not to confuse the audience.
I would also advise toning down the description just a little bit--while the descriptions were very vivid and detailed, they felt a little TOO detailed.
Technical: Just a few minor missing words here and there, but nothing that's a real deal breaker.
Overall, a very solid story that is shaping up to be PMD on an epic scale--in fact, it may be a good idea for the author to dial back some of the brashness and boldness, and work in more moments of quiet and levity. Regardless, I'm excited to see where this story goes!