Pokemon Ranger: Shadows of Almia - Information Thread

[Maxim Posthumus]

Time to break the silence!

It's already the release day and I don't see ANY post about this game on any site/forums. What's going on? Did the America forget about the game release? I was expecting a big influx of information!

So, here's the information thread for Pokemon Ranger: Shadows of Almia - the part of the series which was never given enough love from fans.

Any information, names, screens etc. for the freshly released game is welcome here!

 

[Rappak]

I think it got delayed as I didn't get a call about my pre-order arriving from Gamestop. I'm about to give them a call.

 

[Maxim Posthumus]

I think it got delayed as I didn't get a call about my pre-order arriving from Gamestop. I'm about to give them a call.

OMG. It would suck if the release got delayed!

Maybe it's just Gamestop who has some problems.

 

[Rappak]

Just called and they said that it comes out tomorrow.

 

[Maxim Posthumus]

Just called and they said that it comes out tomorrow.

Delayed release?

It's just a scandal!

 

[System Error]

I got it today. It was in the back room. And it's at a store that usually has delayed shipping. Fuck yeah, Canada! Okay, let's play this motherfucker. I'd make it more like a traditional Let's Play if I could take screenshots, but I cannot, so...I'll find another way! Logbook or some shit.

Part 1: Good morning everyone!

Spoiler

Awesome intro. "Together, we shall rule the world!" Then a cockblock. Boo.

What the fuck at this kid. When he was following Ms. April (the teacher), it looked like he was running at walking speed. Did the animators mess up? Get lazy? Or what?

Female Student:
Is the new student cute? Cool? Or look like a celebrity?

...there would be something very wrong with that if I was playing as a girl.

Six letter name only? What is this, communism? How do they expect people to name themselves William, Elizabeth, or Richard with that!? And no, Will, Liz, and especially Dick are NOT the same thing! I mean really, Dick? How do you get Dick from Richard?

Since they're being communists and all, I decided to name myself Vlad. I'd use Vladimir, but they're communists, and make me use a name that makes my guy sound like Dracula's cousin.

A guy called Keith with a big grin? Uh-oh. Already I have a bad feeling about this school...please don't make me sit next to him please don't make me sit next to him...

Ms. April:
You can have the seat next to Keith.

DAMN IT!

Ms. April:
From now on, you're all my students,
people whom I can take pride in teaching.

Deadly sins too? Makes me question who's really casting the Shadows on Almia.

Ms. April:
Let's not fail your dreams of becoming
Rangers, Operators, and Mechanics!

Operators and Mechanics? This is Pokemon RANGER school. Those people need to GTFO.

YEAAH!

If only this line were proceeded by a witty pun. Incidently, Vlad lit up when this line showed up (characters light up when they speak). And here I thought he was a silent protagonist!

Ms. April:
But before I go, Vlad, I need to
explain something to you.

Oh hell, am I gonna be hit a lecture on morality?

Ms. April:
It's a simplified version of a Ranger's
official Capture Styler

Oh, well okay. Wait, not okay! I don't need no stinkin' simplification!

Ms. April:
Oh, please Keith.
Don't yawn with your mouth wide open like that.

Is this guy trying to seduce me? Great, and it just made me yawn too.

Ms. April:
Rhythmi, can I get you to show Vlad
around the School, please?

What kind of a sick person names their daughter Rhythmi? Her parents sound like total hippies...then again, knowing RPGs, they're probably dead or members of the evil organization.

Keith:
Hey, new kid,I forgot your name, but how
long did it take you to capture Pikachu?

...well, at least he has an excuse for forgetting my name, mentioned just five seconds ago. Which incidently happens to be the time it took to capture the rat.

Keith:
Like an hour?

XFD, KEITH SUCKS SHIT

Rhythmi:
Keith's just a show-off.

Seems like he's showing off just how much he sucks, but hey, some people do that for a living!

Rhythmi:
Instead, you should be paying attention
to me.

Oh hells yeah. Vladdy's gonna get some action tonight, baby!

Rhythmi:
I'm not here to become a Ranger.
I want to become an Operator instead.

Wait, what? She's one of those Operhaters? Didn't she see the application form? This is Pokemon RANGER school. Dumb blonde.

Rhythmi:
So, when Keith becomes a Ranger, I can
order him around like my servant!

This, folks, is why I hope female impowerment never happens. His word against hers is already bad enough as it is.

Rhythmi:
Just joking!

Doesn't seem like you were.


So from what I can gather so far, Operators tell Rangers what to do, and becoming one is as simple as saying "hey I want to be an Operator" when you enter Ranger School. No previous experience with Rangering is required; even the most incompetent moron who knows absolutely nothing about Rangers can become one. I'd think that ones with a little more field experience would know how to encourage people to better perform as a Ranger, priorities in dispatching, and who goes where, but hey. Japan's the experts on this shit I guess.

Part 2: Show Me Your Moves!

Spoiler

So far, we have a teacher named Ms. April, a teacher who goes by Mr. Kincaid and is an strict guy, a lazy egotistical kid who sucks at being a Ranger called Keith, and some blonde chick called Rhythmi. Great.

Rhythmi:
That thing floating there is a Save
Machine.

I'd complain about that not being the way gyrotechnics work, but they've already trashed the Laws of Physics enough.

Now I get to explore the school building or something. Watch me run straight into an event.

Keith:
You know, if a Top Ranger were to see me
do a capture, they'd be in awe.

Shock AND awe!

Female Student:
Our School's quite liberal and relaxed.

Sadly, if they were to see Obama, they'd probably think he was an alien or something. All because the Pokemon World has never seen a black person before.


Yup. Just ran into an event. Went straight into Mr. Kincaid's class. He loves hair spray.

Female Student:
My name is "Female Student."

This game's dialogue is so fucked up.

Mr. Kincaid:
There's one rule that I would like you to
honor and uphold while you're in School.
Don't run in the hallways.

It never occured to me until just now: Is it even possible to walk in this game?

Mr. Kincaid:
Oh, there is another rule: don't cast
suspicion on others without proof.

Good, now any tattletales won't be able to catch me. Everyone knows they don't have cameras.


I then ran into the staff room and found a guy called Mr. Lamont, the principal.

Rhythmi:
His eyes are always twinkling happily behind
his glasses.

...so wrong...

Principal Lamont:
I'm Lamont Splendidocious, the principal.

That's it.

Part 3: This School is Insane.

Spoiler

Other notable faculty members:

Isaac - An "awesomely smart" guy who hangs out in the Library who wants to be a scientist. Also likes the Metric system.
Ponte - Some guy in the Library with low self-esteem, aka "conflicted marshmallow boy".
Janice - The caretaker.
Ms. Claire - Teaches "clearing targets" in the training room, whatever that means. Something involving wooden crates.
Mr. Kaplan - Teaches about capturing, and always talks in a tone as though he wants to take over the world.

Okay, so now I can go outside, but there's no one out there! These students are either vampires or complete...stickworms?

Mr. Kaplan
Welcome to the inscrutable Team School's
secret hideout.

Mr. Kaplan is automatically my favorite character in this game.

Mr. Kaplan
If the Styler runs out of energy, there's
nothing you can do about it.

Isn't this something they could've worked out in beta?

yaddayaddyadda

So field Clears are just a fancy name for using special moves to remove obstacles. Seeing as how I can't do anything like, climb over them or move the lighter obstacles away myself, I have to use Pokemon to do it. Because destruction of nature/and or private property is fun! And yet, when I find a locked door, I can't just break the walls down and smash in. Hypocrits.

Ms. Claire:
Touch the Bidoof.

Liiiiick the Bidoof. LickTheBidoof LickTheBidoof LickTheBidoof.

Then Rhythmi says she has another place she wants me to see. Sounds sexy.

Part 4: Another Place To See!

Spoiler

So I go outside, and Janice is freaking out over a Bidoof.

Janice:
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

Oh god, what the fuck? There's like 10 of them.

Rhythmi:
J-Janice?
She's having trouble with the Bidoof!

Rhythmi suddenly develops a stutter, and reveals that this faculty doesn't have competent staff. Yeah, sounds about right.

Rhythmi:
Please, Vlad! Capture the Bidoof and
get them to settle down!

Argh, for the love of... You see? THIS is why there should not be anything but Pokemon Rangers AND ONLY POKEMON RANGERS at Pokemon Ranger school, least of all in positions of power. When Operators and Caretakers and the like are helpless and the students have to help, you know trouble's-a-brewing.

Keith:
Heh, I was wondering what the ruckus was
all about.

Oh hell yeah, meatshields!

Keith:
We'll have a capture race, you and me!

Piece of cake!

Keith:
I caught five!

Hacker.

Keith:
I rate your captures 65 out of 100!

Dude, I got two S ranks and a B. That demands respect!

And it does? Sweet, man! Keith joins the party, and Rhythmi lets me come with them to Ascension Square or whatever, which is where she was going to take me. Okay, so first she was taking me there, and now she's letting me come? What is this?

Part 5: Ascension Square

Spoiler

I see a Pichu and a Budew just chilling in the school yard. Also, the Pichu watches me, and, like most Pokemon seem to be doing, freak when I get close. Sadly, I can't force my teammates into fights.

I go ahead and catch these guys while I'm here
- Pichu
- Budew
- Taillow

Somehow, I'm able to cut up Wood Fences with Taillow's gust. I mean, I know high winds can do that, but I never knew they could cut them "into tiny fragments." Strangely, I can't seem to do...uhh...overkill captures or whatever. You know, when you circle more times than you have to for more experience.

Cutscenes have a brief fadeout it seems, and make your Pokemon temporarily vanish.

Rhythmi:
Next month, there's going to be a special
class here. It's the Outdoor Class.

What's so special about the outdoors? Well, besides everything else, but I'm one to think that capturing Pokemon in their natural environment (like, not indoors) should be part of basic training.

There's also some donut called the Pledge Stone and if you make a pledge with your friends,

Rhythmi:
"...it will surely come true.
That's what Principal Lamont told me."

...okay. Jus the self-delusions of a gay guy.

Rhythmi:
That concluds Rhythmi's School Tour
of Wonder and Excitement!

Well, I did wonder what is wrong with people in the school, and was excited by the prospect of finally capturing.

Rhythmi:
Vlad! I'm glad to have met you!
I hope we can be friends for a long time!

Oh god, if this is going where I think it's going...

Keith:
Hey, hold it now!

Thank you.

Keith:
Don't worry about Rhythmi.
Be friends with me, okay?

Can't I be both? Not like she has cooties or anything. I think. Rhythmi calls him a "slick one".

Part 6: Nightrun

Spoiler

So it's nighttime and I'm in my dorm. By which I mean the boy's dorms. Also, Keith is writing to his parents about me. So many homosexual implications here. Also, apparantly, my guy has a little sister, which he somehow communicates by having some lines appearing his head.

Male Student:
The smartest person in the whole school
is Issac.

The student who's been here the longest...
That's me.

So the smartest student gets a name, yet the most experienced student doesn't? What is this shit? Why is Japan always hating on experience?

Ponte:
Our boy genius Isaac is never around at
this time of night.

I wonder where he's out studying.

Hasn't Mr. boy genius ever heard of "early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise?"

Keith:
Hey Vlad, you're not sleepy yet,
are you?

Come over here.

Nonononononono...

Oh wait, we're just sneaking out?

Keith:
All right, I brought him.

He brought me to see Rhythmi, another girl, and some guy. Cool, one for him, two for me!

Rhythmi:
Everything's ready.

Bow-chicka-wow-wow!

Rhythmi:
Okay, let's get started with our test of

Yes, yes, go on!

courage to welcome Vlad

...aw, shit. Just a shy person reception.

Keep it down, but yay!

wat

Keith:
We just want you to prove you're brave.

So you want me to sneak into the girl's dorm and steal some panties? Prank the principal, maybe?

Keith:
I had to do it before, too.
It's no big deal.

Uhh...so basically, this is a hazing? Great.

Keith:
But, you know, you do have that easily
spooked look to you. No offense.

Nobody...

...calls me...

...easily spooked...

 

[The Outrage]

Official website has updated with a bunch of stuff with coool new art

EDIT: It knd of sucks that the only new character they've revealed is Crawford on that website and its telling us to come back on December first. What, are they revealing one character again?

So I quoted this from Maxim in another thread:

But to be honest, there is a bigger thing I would write to them about. Seeing that the new translator has NO IDEA about character naming (see - Kellyn, Barlow, Rythmi and other Ranger 2 characters) I would suggest the names of new characters to them.

Seeing that Ranger 2 adopted many Engrished forms of Japanese names (Barou -> Barlow, Rizumi -> Rythmi)

So that's what happened with Rythmi (makes me wonder why trhey didn't just stick with the japanese names if they were going to make it awkward for english speaking people anyway).

I was wondering why Kellyn's english and japanese names had completely different meaings.

That would also explain the "my name is female student" thing.

Oh and "Splendidocious"

 

[Flaze]

I thought they said that it was gonna be a late release.

 

[System Error]

That would also explain the "my name is female student" thing.

It's probably just a joke. And I laughed at it...slightly. Better than "OMG I REFERENCED A INTERNET MEME IM SO FUNY" like in DP, or "ashes in my eyelashes" like in RSE. They need to go back to referencing all sorts of things, like they did with The Godfather in RBY. Now that's classy stuff!

And there's a very big difference between translating and localization. With translating, the meaning is often misunderstood by anyone who doesn't understand Japanese (almost everyone playing), and a lot of jokes will get lost. But with localization, things get reworked to make more sense, although it may make the traditionalists or weeaboos cry.

P.S. Maxim needs to learn to spell rhythm. >_>

I'll update my mini Let's Play's original post with updates. Unless there are any objections? I'll continue anyway seeing as how you the US seems to have a delay with the release.

EDIT: Actually, forget it. This style works better. By the way, I might mention that I've never played this before or know the story, although I have played the original. This means I'll have a more neutral opinion of things, I guess.

What I don't get is how you can only have six letters in your name, but people like Rhythmi get seven

Yes! Another reason why that system sucks!

Part 7: Frat-tastic!

Spoiler

So I am just ready to be initiated into a frat that I had no business or interest in joining, and to do so, I need to take a test of courage or some shit.

Rhythmi:
The rules are simple.

The four of us have hidden our Stylers in
four different places in the school.

Apparantly, scavenger hunts are things to be feared at this school.

Rhythmi:
They are: Ms. April's Class, Mr. Kincaid's
class, the Staff Room, and the Library.

The only four rooms on the first floor!

Rhythmi:
Gather all four Stylers, then put them in
front of the door to the basement room.

The way they're putting this, it sounds like some kind of satanic ritual or something.

Rhythmi:
It's not hard or anything, but it's also not
safe to go around.

I've got a capture Styler of my own and experience in the Metal Gear Solid ganes. Bring it on!

Rhythmi:
That's why we've always had this one rule:
the student seated next to the initate
has to go, too.

Err...so then who went with the people who started the frat?

Keith:
WAAAAAAAAH!

Little bitch. All there was was a creaking. And atmospheric music that sounds like it's from Earthbound.

Keith:
Wah! Th-there's something there!

Keith is sweating rather profusely. All over a Bidoof who somehow got into the school. So I go to the Library and find...boxes. Which leads me to wonder just who put them there if you supposedly can't move them without a Smash ability.

Keith:
The Library's scary at night, too.

He thinks randomly placed boxes and a Pichu just standing around is frightening. I wonder what he'd think about something that would actually should be scared of.

Hey, there's lighting effects here. I went to capture the Bidoof, and it properly appeared darker than normal. Nope, no "darker background but the sprites are the same" here, boys and girls!

As I enter the staff room, the camera zooms in on a Pichu for some reason.

Keith:
This is the Staff Room...
And the hint for this room is...

The Styler we hid here doesn't stay still.
You understand, don't you?

Yeah, I understand (it's on the Pichu), but what I don't understand is how they got it on the thing. It's not like they could've just said "here, hold this plz" or anything. They didn't...AWW, NOW THAT IS NASTY!

Takes a short bit to chase it down (it runs faster than me!), but when I do, it goes down without a fuss. Then it vanishes into thin air and leave behind a Styler. Before reappearing and spazzing out momentarily.

Keith:
This is the classroom next to ours...

Why are there fucking Zubats in here? Doesn't Almia have any pest control? No hint for this room, I just get told to hurry up and find it.

I capture Zubat while I'm here, who try to go after me. Then they get captured. The styler is hidden in the top-left of the room.

4. Zubat

Wait, I just thought of something. How did these people get back safely if they left their stylers all over the place? I'd imagine running into a Pokemon with no means of defense but your bare hands, maybe your shoe, isn't a particularly good idea.

Keith:
Even our own classroom's kind of creep
at night...

Who put all those boxes there?

Keith:
Hey, I'll give you a hint, even.
What wasn't here during the daytime.

Duh. Now to play the shell game.

Okay, so I just broke a box, and found a fucking Pichu in one. Judging by the script, I get that this frat put these boxes in the school, and summarily put it in there. I wonder what the teacher would have to say about this. I had to make a few trips because of it. It is, of course, in the crate you need to break another crate to get to (unless you smartly go around, which I didn't think to do at first). Breaking the other two out of curiosity, I find a Budew and...another Bidoof.

When you use a field move, the Pokemon go back to their original brightness as they run off. Hmm...

Finally back to the Library, as I have enough Bidoofs to get through.

I see the Styler as I break the first crate, but I can't do anything like say...reach across the table it's on, and so have to victimize another helpless inanimate object to get by.

Keith:
Good, good. That's all of them, then.
Let's take them down to the basement.

Whoawhoawhoa, I thought we were just going to leave them at the top of the stairs. Just this morning they seemed so eager not to go down there, which is against the rules, by the way. Then again, rules were made to be broken.

The basement has this weird blue glow to it.

Keith:
I never heard about a target like this.
I wonder who put it here?

Ghosts! And yep, I just heard Gastly's cry. A Wood Fence is in the way. Incidently, as I mentioned earlier, there was one outside. Guess Keith never really looked hard enough, huh? The game helpfully provides me with a Zubat right there to destroy it, which is just poor design.

Keith:
Hey, Vlad...
Have you been hearing anything?
Like weird noises?

No Keith. That's just the indians rising from the graveyard this school was built on.

Keith:
Plunk down the Stylers here, then we go
back to the dorms, and we're done.

It's not over yet!

Keith:
But hustle, will you?
I can't take much more of this...

SCAREDY CAT! SCAREDY CAT! SCAREDY CAT!

And here comes Gastly, baby!

Keith:
BWAAAAAH!

Oh shi-! Wasn't expecting FOUR of them! Oh well, who's first?

I fight them all at the same time. Sadly, I have to settle for just two captured at a time rather than all four at once.

5. Gastly

Then Mr. Uptight Kincaid comes out of his lab, literally steamed. The basement is his and his alone! Everyone else must stay out! I wonder if he's conducting experiments to turn himself into a plant.

Then I somehow get a scene of Isaac being there, doing an experiment of some kind with "control systems" or something. Oh sure, he's allowed in. Apparantly, we were just a Zubat "causing a minor disturbance in the hallway." Uh-oh, is that a potential villain I smell?

Part 8: Outdoor Action

Spoiler

After that scene, I get a letter from "Little Sis" who thanks me for writing, and says my mom and dad are moving up now. Uh-oh. Sounds like a village is about to be destroyed!

Back in class, I get asked what day it is for some reason. It's Monday today in the real world (fuck yeah RAW). Except...it's Outdoor Class. I thought that was in a month according to the in-game dialogue. Time sure flies! I'm gonna get to meet a real Ranger and Keith has 38 questions!

I explore around a little first, and fight a freaking Bidoof. At this time of day? There are also Pichus and a road block in front of the basement. I can't enter the Girl's Bedroom either...

I also find a Bonsly around which I can't get. Even though I can see it start pretending to be a tree!

A ranger with a giant fro? What is this, /b/? His name is Crawford, apparantly.

Crawford:
This here's my Partner Pokemon, Budew

Budew? LOL

Crawford:
And these are my Friend Pokemon!

Cherubi, Bellosom, Combee, Swellow? Why not have one of those as a parnter instead of...frickin' Budew? Everyone says "Wow, so cool!"

Outdoor Class consists of asking a Pokemon Ranger a bunch of questions while standing in a circle around him. The students ask questions like "why did you become a Ranger" and "what kinds of Pokemon are difficult to capture", and "can I become an Operator?" And apparantly, Stylers have a weakness to juice.

Then some Barlow guy gives voicemail about a Mantine hunt. And some Luana chick is heading to pick him up. I don't know how Rangers with Styluses are going to stop some angry sailors, but who cares? All the guys including Vlad think it's cool. And the girls beg him to save it. He runs off, everyone goes back to class, and Vlad, Keith, and Rhythmi make a pledge to make their dreams come true.

Then another letter shows up from "Little Sis", saying thanks for writing again and they're looking for a house now.

Part 9: Grand Theft Styler

Spoiler

Another time skip occurs, and apparantly the Mantine was saved and set back to the sea. And the lesson today is Rangers and Operator teamwork. It's a disasterous (sic) if it there is none. Yeah, I think it actually said that. Also, Keith isn't here.

Ms. April:
It's the job of the Operators to light the
way for Rangers where no roads exist.

...

Ms. April:
Operators support Rangers in other ways,
like recharging their Stylers.

Cool, just like a recharging machine! Or an electric type! They do it with a highly technological system called voicemail!

Ms. April:
Let's start with Rhythmi as the Operator
and Keith doing the Ranger part.

BUT KEITH ISN'T HERE!

Rhythmi:
Ms. April, Keith isn't here yet.

So where is he? You seem to know quite a lot about this...

Ms. April:
That's rare for Keith.
Did he sleep in, I wonder?

He's dead in a ditch for going in the basement. Duh. Oh well, more for me! I get a special styler with voicemail turned on. My guy moves at walking speed in his runny animation again and gets interrupted by Mr. Kincaid, who scolds him for running.

Mr. Kincaid:
There is a small matter about which I would
like to speak with Keith.

Oh shi-I WAS JUST KIDDING!

Ms. April:
Keith is running late today.
It's not like him, but...

Mr. Kincaid:
Late, you say...
You see, we have a problem on our hands.

Hm?

Mr. Kincaid:
We had a number of Stylers stored in the
Staff Room. Had, I say.

Now the entire lot of them has
disappeared.

I've already confirmed the innocence of all
my students regarding this.

So he thinks Keith did it? Whatever happened to "don't cast suspicion on others without proof"?

Mr. Kincaid:
But that Keith boy is uncharacteristically
absent from class, you say...

Perhaps it's taking him time to find a place
to "stash" all those stolen Stylers?

Oh, now he's outright breaking his own rules. Fascist.

Rhythmi:
Mr. Kincaid!
Keith is a prankster, but he's no thief!

Keith: "I am not a crook."

But nevertheless, Kincaid still insists it was Keith, citing running in the hallways and sneaking into the basement as proof. Yeah, like that'll hold up.

Ms. April
Mr. Kincaid.
Isn't this what you always preach?

It's wrong to cast suspicion on others
without proof?

Fuck yeah! You tell'em, Ms. April! Scream to him what I am screaming to the game! Male Student, Female Student, and Female Student offer to help look for Keith with Ms. April. And I have to look too.

Female Student: (question mark over her head)
There was no one behind the plants there.

I don't get why she's so confused over that. It's not like it's a perfect, expect place to hide.

Male Student:
Keith's missing?
Didn't you mean to say Isaac?

TWO lost kids? This is gonna look bad on the district's record.

That fucking Bidoof is STILL running around the halls? I mean, living in harmony with Pokemon is one thing, but this is just unsanitary.

Female Student
If it's not you, then it's your friend Keith.
He was shouting in the hallway earlier.

I thought it might've been Isaac at first with Keith trying to stop him, but I find Isaac in the Library.

Isaac:
Keith?
He's never come her during class.

He's always here during lunch break.
With his pillow.

Sure.

And apparantly, the principal is missing too. And Janice the caretaker.
Rhythmi calls me as I go up to the second floor with a "Voicemail! Voicemail!" She tells me to hurry down.

Janice is there, telling me how she fed the Bidoof and found a Styler there. I follow this lead and find one of those lame school stylers there.

Rhythmi:
Isn't this one of the Stylers that went
missing from the Staff Room?

I don't think so. These seem like cheap ones. Else they wouldn't seem so important.

Apparantly, I could wreck the Pledge Statue if I had Tackle Level 5!

I find another Styler and follow a trail of them (okay, just another one), when Rhythmi hears voices. I go and see Keith, talking to some guy.

Keith:
The guy's a stinking thief!

I knew it. He tries to get away, then runs into a tree, and then a Slakoth falls on him.

Sneaky Guy:
And, bweh!

I have to help him by capturing the thing. It didn't even put up a fight.

6. Slakoth

The guy always wanted to be a Ranger, apparantly, so he stole a bunch of Stylers. Why he didn't just take one and get away undetected, we may never know. But even Adults can join Ranger school!

Sneaky Guy:
I was only hoping to get one, but I ended up
scooping up the whole lot of them...

Idiot.

Apparantly, Vlad's skills as a capturer are amazing, as Ms. April can tell by the "smile on the Slakoth's face". Even though it ran off before she got there, I believe!

Lanmont
Like the thieft today, perhaps there are
shadows always lurking in all of our hearts.

If this is going where I think it is...

Lanmont:
In the Almia region, there is an ancient
world: "vatonage."

It means "to reawaken light that has been
submerged in darkness."

What the fuck? From what little I know about Japanese, L and R are condensed in the same letter there, as are D, L, and R, and B and V too I think. Is this an example of Engrish? Is it supposed to be Batonage? I think it is.

Yet another letter from "Little Sis" after that. Does she not have a name? She's going to Chicole Village, wherever that is. Well, it probably won't be there for long!

Part 10: Internaround

Spoiler

So now I get to experience what it is to be a real Ranger, even though I already have in the first game! I guess Vlad does, though. And I still don't know what a Mechanic is.

Ms. April:
Vlad and Keith, you two are off to
the Ranger Base in Vientown

Okay...

Rhythmi shows me a newspaper called the "Almia Times". It doesn't look like they translated the barely legible text making up the articles, though. And there's an issue in the union!

Keith joins me for the trip there.

Ms. April:
The Rangers of Vientown are all somewhat
quirky in their own ways.

Oh, hell. Not more weird characters. Is there one NORMAL person on this island?

There's some company called Altru Inc. that're in oil, construction, and searching for new energy resources. Isaac's going there.

I don't even get out of the grounds before I find some guy called "Little Tim" being attacked by Bidoofs.

Keith:
Hey, it's Little Tim.
Playing hide-and-seek with some Bidoof?

This seems like a douchebaggish comment, but Keith had a question mark over it as he did so...which is worse.

Little Tim:
Listen to them! "Beedehoo, Beedehoo!"
They're going to maul me, I can tell!

It looked like they were dancing.

Keith:
No, Little Tim, I think the Bidoof just want
to play.

Even Keith agrees!

Little Tim:
Sure, boy, that's easy for you to say.

Who you callin' boy, boy?

Little Tim:
But I won't deny it. I'm scared, even
deathly a-scared of Pokemon!

Umm...if he's "deathly a-scared" of Pokemon, why did he choose to live in a region WHERE THEY ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE!?

Keith:
That guy's Little Tim.
He's the milkman around here.

Is his "milkman" called Little Tim too?

I had to save him at that point. The Bidoof actually attacked here, and I took damage for the first time. Of course, it was nothing major.

Apparantly, our hero, Vlad, is from Fiore! That's...interesting. Makes me wonder why he just didn't become a Ranger there, though.

Little Tim:
I run a small dairy farm with my family
in a town called Vientown

Cool, I guess.

Just as I try to leave, I get stopped AGAIN by Ms. April, who congratulates us for working together like real Rangers. Then she doesn't let us go back in. Bitch.

Little Girl:
I came to see him, but...

This sweating girl on a bridge fails to mention the most important part of her statement: who she came to see. She later mentions she came to see her big brother when asked. Do you think?

Ponte:
Hi, what's going on?

Nope.

Isaac:
Melody?

Snake?

Apparantly, hugging is animated in this game by whoever's giving it appearing partially inside whoever is getting it. With the arms still resting on their side. Couldn't they have added a few frames of animation?

7. Buneary

I got this on the way there. I automatically walked there when I arrived in town, with no way to do anything else. When I arrive, it's empty! Except for some chick with purple hair.

Operator:
Everyone had to go out to handle a critical
Mission.

Way to hate on the new guys, guys.

Operator:
Some Bidoof...
Oh, no, I can't force myself to say it!

What, is it stuck in a tree or something? By god, if this is how they run things around here...instead, I get thrown into a mission right away. To deliver an extremely important parcel to Breeze Hill!

Operator:
Please don't tip it on its side.
And never, ever flip it upside down.

Part 11: Delivery Boys

Spoiler

"This is Vientown.
For relaxation, this is your town.

I'd imagine that Rangers should be in a town of action, not one of sloth.

Mimi:
Mimi wants to be a Happiny when Mimi grows
up.

1. That joke was already made with Pikachus and Blitzballs.
2. You can't grow up into something smaller.
3. Third-person is retarded. Unless you're The Rock.
4. What the fuck!?

Happiny:
Pina Pina.

Mimi's Mom:
Our Mimi plays with the Happiny so much.

I swear she's looking more and more like
a Happiny.

Well, step one for her would be to lose the green coat for a pink one.

<: Nabiki Beach
"Those who meet there become good
partners."

...I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. And this is what I meant about the meanings being lost.

Webster:
Hi, Ranger in training.

His lines aren't important. What is important is how I found out his name without learning it.

Bill:
Mik poodin, I wike wike.

Enough. Fucking. Said.

Andy:
I got to name our farm.
I named it the Little Big Farm

Uh-oh. Nintendo better hope Sony doesn't file for lawsuit, here.

Drew:
Um.
Nothing.

It must be something. And Drew can be a girl's name? This is why mixed gender names suck.

Cindy:
My mother's milk pudding is tasty.

So where is she? I want some! She isn't in the farmhouse at all.

Chicole Village is just to the south of this place.

v: Chicole Village
"The village next door to Vientown.
A good place without a history yet."

A podunk, unimportant town? Where the main character's parents live? Yep, it's gonna be destroyed!

So I go to...whatever the fuck it's called beach. God, I hate Japanese names so much.

I find a couple there, who met at said beach, aptly named "Beach Boy" and "Beach Girl". Sure, Webster gets a name, but these two don't!? Then I see a guy called Mr. Woodward.

Mr. Woodward:
Ah, Pachirisu, Pachirisu.
So cute, so cute.

Still hate Japanese names.

Mr. Woodward:
What's wrong? What's wrong, Munchlax?

Is there an echo in here?

Mr. Woodward:
Ah, Starly, Starly.
Go on, eat up all you like.

...

Well, apparantly, everyone meets their partner Pokemon at Nabiki Beach.

Starly:
Coodoodustarlee.

what is this i don't even...

^: Breeze Hill
"May lovers beware of falling rocks!"

Many a time when I make out with my girlfriend a rock interupts us.

Just before I get to the hill, I find...a save point! GASP! Could a boss fight be coming up!? I find the other Rangers, who look more like they're having a picnic than doing a critical mission.

Keith:
He-hellomeetcha!

Rhythmi was right. He's real smooth.

Barlow:
Did I just hear toy say "Hellomeetcha"?

Barlow is a big hispanic guy.

Barlow:
Hand [over the package], but be gentle.
One careless shake and it's ka-plow.

What is it, a glass jar or something?

Barlow:
All right people!
Gather 'round!
Lunch's here!

...what!? They WERE having a picnic!?

Barlow:
This prank isn't my doing.
Crawford there thought it up.

Yeah, fuck you. I should've totally peed in the lemonade.

Luana is another Ranger. Elaine is a Mechanic, who still doesn't tell me what she does. Also, apparantly, this prank is a "tradition". More hazing! What the fuck, is this just one big metaphor for frats? At least the victims get to eat the food...

Barlow:
Vientown's a laid-back country town.

Not much happens in the way of thrilling or
exciting there.

It's not like some movie or game.

Whoever translated this seems to like meta-humor and just barely breaking the fourth wall.

To trigger the next event, I had to walk away from the food. That's when Beach Boy showed up and begged for help. Because

Beach Boy:
Po-Pokemon have gone wild!

Okay. Pokemon going wild on the beach? That's just...the wrong kind of wording to use. Might get confused with something else! And now I have to save the guy's girlfriend, because he's not a real man (hence, "Beach Boy")

Part 12: A Man's Job

Spoiler

I find Beach Girl being surrounded by Mr. Woodward's Pokemon. By which I mean dancing in a circle. And two Shellos. Fuck, I want a Shellos now.

-Rookie Mission!-
Soothe Pokemon At The Beach!

Woodward preaches about his Pokemon as I go to get one.

Barlow:
You never forget the first Pokemon you
capture on your first-ever Mission.

I did.

Keith and Luana can't make up their minds...hmm...neither can I! I mean, I heard you can get Starly later, so that's out. But between Pachirisu and Munchlax? Tough call. As far as the only walkthrough says, only Starly can be obtained later.

Ah, let's just go with Munchlax. Why? 'cause it's fuckin' Munchlax, that's why. It's all chill and shit.

9. Munchlax

Starly got taken by Keith, and Luana got Pachirisu.

?

What?

??

Umm...

???

My sentiments exactly.

I learn this all happened after strange noises came from the see and a cargo ship pulled away.

Barlow:
In the world of Rangers, we call it...
Mission Clear!

I prefer "Mission Accomplished!" myself. And it seems Ranger poses are something not easily thought up...Keith and Vlad are on their way to being big!

The events of all that took up all day, apparantly. Didn't seem that long to me...

Some old guy called Prof.Hastings comes in after the debriefing. He works at the Ranger Union, and think's Rhythmi's name is Misery.

What the fuck at Munchlax' eyes when it walks. Those were just not meant to be seen. It looks...well, retarded, for lack of a better term.

Rhythmi:
Yoohoo! Wannabe Rangers!

Earlier, she found Keith's shouting of "Yahoo!" weird. But she just used something almost the same herself!

Yet another letter from "Little Sis" after this. I would feel these more if she was introduced earlier and not just in the dialogue just before getting the first letter. I mean, what the hell...

Part 13: Bad Luck My Ass

Spoiler

So it's finally graduation time! I have to spend time in Vientown with the weirdos, and Keith gets to go to Fiore. Boo. Rhythmi is going there too. Why write off such important characters so soon?

The school is filled with flowers and ribbons and shit. And they finally cleaned up the Bidoofs and Pichus that were loitering the halls.

Another issue of The Almia Times is shown to me. This one, incidently, is Volume 02, and the previous one was Volume 01. It seems pretty big for such a recent newspaper. It shows some creepy green haired guy at Altru Inc...

Female Student:
I'm glad you talked to me even though we
were in different classes.

It made me happy you did.

More of that same humor.

So Vlad finally graduates, and he still doesn't know what a Mechanic is. Isaac is the valedictorian, and Vlad represents the graduating class.

But suddenly, there's an explosion from the basement! But nobody but the uptight Mr. Kincaid guy is allowed down there! He goes down to check and cries,

Mr. Kincaid:
Waah!
Stop! Stop that!

What will we do!?

It's two Tangrowth! I knew it! Fucker WAS trying to turn himself into a plant! I try to go save, but Rhythmi stops me like the bitch she is. And yet, everyone else is good to just hang back in fear. Looks like it's up to Vlad
and Keith!

10. Tangrowth

No boss battle music? What is this, 1988? It wasn't so hard to catch - but it got annoying with its poisonpowder after a while. I took no damage, though!

Rhythmi:
You two are awesome!

And yet, still no action for either of us. Kincaid doesn't know what happened and is sweating beads.

Vlad finally graduates, and gets yet another letter from the one known only as "Little Sis"

Part 14: Finally In Red, Like A True Communist

Spoiler

I finally meet Little Sis, who still isn't given a name. She just calls Vlad Big Brother. Vlad has some books from his Mother and a Wii from his Father. And he seems to be the only one with a room in the house.

Little Sis named the field in my house "Partner Farm". Okay.

It gets suggested that I go meet the neighbors, so I do. She is aptly named "The Lady Next Door", which sounds closer to something that you'd hear in a porn than a video game. Then again, on the other hand, there's some kid called "Kyle" whose only piece of dialoge is...

Kyle:
...Hello.

His TV often shows a cartoon starring a Riolu. How Vlad came into knowledge of the information about its use, I have no idea.

There's also a couple called Paul and Paula. What're the odds of that!? They have a "compact, 14-inch TV". Metric and Imperial in the same game?

I go to Vientown and again get forced into the Ranger base immediately, this time by Luana. Now I have to change from my spiffy green outfit into a bland red one.

Barlow:
Is the belt too tight for you?

I'm just glad there's only one! And finally, I get to use Poke Assists, which I couldn't until now.

Barlow:
It's a feature that your old School Styler
never had.

But I liek teh old-skool.

Crawford then shows me a Poke Assist Tutorial. And he has two Blastoises.

I also learn that Crawford is the tallest person, Luana is scatterbrained and "incinerated toast" but has white teeth, and Elaine prefers to play with machines than with men, if you catch my drift. And the purple haired Operator always smiles, but still doesn't have a name. Useless information!

My mission? To stop strangeness. Also, to do the Vien Tribune, whatever that is. Which is also known as delivering the newspaper. Sweet, delivery boy again!

-MISSION-
Deliver Vien Tribune!

Nobody's dialogue seems to have changed in the city. That's just lazy programming! I also finally meet up with Munchlax and get it as a partner! Sadly, it seems as though Beach Boy and Beach Girl will not be my friends, despite meeting them on the beach.

I then get a tutorial on the partner gauge in the middle of the job. That's just unprofessional, leaving people waiting for their paper!

Apparantly, Beach Boy and Beach Girl broke up. This beach is a lying sack of crap. The partner thing only applies to Pokemon!

The name of the farmchildern's mother?

Big Bertha:
You're the one who came to my husband's
rescue at the Ranger School, aren't you?

Well, she IS on the hefty side. Little Tim, despite being deathly a-scared of Pokemon, doesn't seem to notice or care about Munchlax. Chilcole Village gets the Vien Tribune, too.

Paul:
Well, other than "Crawford's Best Jokes,"
everything else looks interesting.

INCINERATION

11. Seedot

Found it in a tree.

So I finish the deliveries and try to go say "sup" to the people at Ranger's School, but the gate is locked...bah.

Part 15: Disturbing Disturbed Disturbances

Spoiler

"The next day..."

Apparantly, there are beds in the Ranger's Base, something I was not aware of. I thought that was just a changing room!

Barlow:
We have received a disturbing report from Mr.
Woodward.

What, have Scythers been evicerating other Pokemon or something?

Barlow:
He claims there are strange noises coming
from the Marine Cave on Nabiki Beach

What is with this country and its fear of strange noises? Crawford is sent to investigate with me tagging along, but he lets me lead...

Apparantly, we've had YET ANOTHER Timeskip, as the water is far enough out this season to allow me to walk right into the cave. Apparantly, in Almia, tides are based on season and not time of day.

Crawford:
This is the first mission worth of the
title in a long time.

Well, at least there's an excuse for the rookies being better than the veterans here.

Some checking around town reveals...dialogue changes! But only indoors. People's Pokemon are freaking out for some reason. But Munchlax is fine - it's chill like that. And Crawford's Budew...wait, where is Crawford's Budew? Where the hell are all the other Ranger's partner Pokemon for that matter!? I haven't seen them since the Beach mission!

Paula:
Do you know the Go-Rock Quads?
They're a band that started in Fiore!

They sound more like a redneck Biker gang to me.

I also learn that stepping in puddles of slime left by Shellos, for example, inflicts damage! I don't know how something that gets stuck on my shoes affects my Styler, but hey, what do I know? Up until now I thought tides changed bidaily.

12. Shellos
13. Glameow

I didn't mention this earlier, but I needed a 1 Soak to wake up Bonsly. Too bad the school is closed...

-Mission-
Investigate the Marine Cave!

Weird purple haze here.

Crawford:
I can hear something coming from deep
inside...

Those pulsing noises are very sinister.

They sound mechanical to me...

Crawford says there's something wrong with the Pokemon. They seem to have glowing hurricanes/sperm over their hads and are dancing in circles. And I can't befriend any of them, meaning I'm stuck with Munchlax and Glameow/Shellos I came in with.

Crawford:
What's in the back of the cave?

Guess correctly and win three milk puddings
courtesy of...

This is no time to be cracking jokes.

Never heard of 'em.

Crawford:
I can hear the pulsing noise clearly!
It's actually close.

Oh, now it sounds sinister.

I explore around and find a machine that looks kind of like a miniture nuclear bomb that's the source of all this trouble. I need 2 Soak to destroy it...and also to affect a rock I saw earlier. Probably a Graveler.

Luckily, deeper inside, by which I mean in another section of the cave just passed the machine, the influence is not working, which only makes sense, considering it's affecting things as far as Vientown.

14. Geodude

I have to use a Shellos to wake it up. Even though I clearly saw it as a Geodude in the cutscene! Why can't I make like Crawford and try to capture what looks like an inanimate object?

15. Squirtle

Better than Shellos, who are annoying as fuck to even start a battle with. Seriously, if there's even a drop of slime there, you're going to take damage. What a piece of shit.

16. Nosepass

I had to catch this to destroy a rock and get a Gastrodon with Soak 2. Squirtle's assist...didn't really help much here.

Unfortunately, Gastrodon leaves slime like it's pre-evolution. Fortunately, I found I could easily encounter it by just letting it come to me. Well, most of the time.

17. Gastrodon

Holy shit, this bastard had a lot of HP. The expanding mud it threw didn't help either. P.S. "the friendship bar reduces over time" my ass. It just hovers around a while then drops like a rock.

And I was right again! That one rock was a Graveler! This game is so predictable...

18. Graveler

It also had a lot of HP.

Spitting water at the machine made it explode! Suprisingly, without killing us all.

Crawford:
Vlad, it's your smart decisions that
saved the Pokemon.

If by "smart", you mean "reckless", by which I mean "went all out on the second Gastrodon capture", then yes. I guess they did!

Crawford:
I'll get in touch with Almia's strongest
person by voicemail for help moving this.

Unfortunately, Crawford doesn't think of, say, using a Pokemon to help move the machine's reckage to get it back to the lab or, calling people over with the necessary equipment and examining it there. Or using a wedge to get it on a platform with wheel and axles on the bottom with levers on the front and back for easy grip. Is Almia so simple-minded that they don't even think of using simple machines?

Crawford:
It's someone who beat our Leader at
arm wrestling in three seconds flat.

I'd mention how when I read Chris Jericho's book, that he learned a technique on how to easily win at arm wrestling here, even against people who may be much stronger than you. And how he even used it to get some respect from a clique of some kind. But it'd be pointless, because Japan is way too straight-minded to think like that. We're going to see some muscle-bound man. Or god forbid, muscle-bound woman.

Big Bertha:
Oh, you're on your way home, are you?
Keep up with your mission assignments!

The Ranger Base is my new home, apparantly. And yes, I was right - the strongest person in Almia is indeed a woman! Big Bertha, in fact. Should've been obvious from all the non gender-specific pronouns being used, but hey! Vlad starts sweating like no tommorow here and backs away.

Big Bertha:
My silly husband got all jealous saying I'm
going on a date with Crawford in the Cave.

So, I told him, that's exactly what I'm doing!
Ahahaha!

Why is everyone here so intent on playing cruel, twisted jokes? I mean, tasteless jokes like...

Q. What's the difference between the WTC and my penis?
A. My penis is still erect.

...is one thing, but messing with people's heads? That's fucked up, man. That ends relationships.

Little Tom:
Ma went out and left me to fend on my
lonesome. It sure isn't easy to manage.

I go to see him, and he's taking it surprisingly well. After something like that, I was expecting him to break down in tears and start screaming "WHHHHHHHHY!" while raising his fists to the sky.

Bill:
Miltank. It wild.

The Pokemon are still crazy, it seems.

Mimi:
Our Happiny are back to being normal.

Ah-ha! The obvious deduction here would be that there's ANOTHER one of those nuke machines causing another disturbance. Of course, this all breaks down when you consider that a Cherubi in Chicole wasn't being affected, and nothing around the Ranger School that also houses Operators and Mechanics was being affected. The only other possibility is that it is underground! But of course, it's not that. It's something else that we'll never find out.

Mission Accomplished! And just like in the original, promotions come fast, and I get officially promoted to Ranger Rank 1. Meaning until just now, I was a zero.

I guess you could say...

I'm going from zero..

...to hero...

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

[The Outrage]

Crappy joke is crappy. Fine, needs better localization.

What I don't get is how you can only have six letters in your name, but people like Rhythmi get seven

 

[Maxim Posthumus]

Did anyone start the game with the girl? I want to know her default name!

Anyway, so Rizumi's name is actually spelt Rhythmi, like rhythm? OMG. It's even more painful...

The Official Site also made me upset by revealing only one character. However, I love the mission artworks they showed. Pity they're so small.

Is anyone here buying the guide. And could scan it? I really want to see all artworks in big size. The Internet LACKS Ranger 2 artworks. I see only starters, main characters, Dim Sun Grunts and Cover Artworks but no mission scenes!

 

[System Error]

Starting a new post, as the old one was getting kind of cramped. And as I mentioned in those updates, it seems there's a lot of that kind of near-fourth wall breaking humor in the game.

I don't see what's so bad about the "h" being in the right place, either. ...however you spelled it, was worse (looked even more awkward). And I'm not sure if there even are default names to select. Maybe I just didn't see the option.

Part 16: ReQuest

Spoiler

With that promotion I received, I can now use Bug Assists! Which I have no way of testing to see if it's true, as I have not found a bug Pokemon yet. Wonder if the whole game is built that way.

I also see another issue of The Almia Times, the slow moving yet exceeding popular newspaper. This one's volume three, and covers Fiore despite it not being part of Almia. Or international news. Keith apparantly stopped a Gyarados rampaging in Summerland (which is not a place in B.C.'s Okanagon anymore, but rather a fictional game location) with a Pikachu and Buizel, the latter of which is his partner. He's the "new hero", despite me stopping some crazy nuke driving Pokemon insane and delivering like eight newspapers. Bastard.

Little Tom:
Is there any Ranger here who has some
time for me?

Suddenly, Little Dic-err, Tom comes in all upset with a Mission for me.

Barlow:
I don't think we can handle this request
as a proper Mission, though.

Why not? The top guys do it! All they have to do is say the word...but instead they brand it a Quest. They never turn down a citizen's Quest...which sounds like an abridged version of request.

And it seems as though our friend Little Tom screwed up the milking of Miltank somehow. Why does he live on a farm again...?

Andy:
Our Miltank is very skittish.

It's very sensitive to any change and
reacts badly.

Any change at all? God damn, I wonder what would happen if it started raining.

It seems that the Miltank has been that way since morning. Must've gotten pissed at the change in the aura, and now it's even more pissed after it went away and Little Tim went to milk it instead of Big Bertha!

...wow, and only now I realized how their names go together.

19. Miltank

Wasn't so hard.

Little Tim:
Yee-haw! Yeah, that's done it!

Redneck talk, kekeke

After that mission I received power-up data. Sure, they can trnasport special stuff like that through wireless that doesn't require much in the way of batteries, but they don't have simple machines to assist in making work easier? What kind of backwoods country is this?

And as of now, it's getting late, and my DS is running low on batteries. That's what I don't like about it: it's either "yeah you're fine" green or "HOLY SHIT YOU NEED TO GET TO AN OUTLET" red. Even though the PSP has less battery life, it at least gives you a more detailed report of things.

 

[Maxim Posthumus]

And I'm not sure if there even are default names to select. Maybe I just didn't see the option.

Default name appears when you don't give the name to your hero. When the name screen appears, you must just click "OK" (or something) without giving a name and the default name will appear.

 

[Rappak]

I just got the call from Gamestop. Today is the release date.

 

[Maxim Posthumus]

That's time to start the good ol' cookie competition.

First person who reveals Hitomi's U.S. name gets a giant cookie.

Can anyone, for God's sake start the game with a girl? If I had the game now, I would certainly do it! Just to see her name.

 

[Registeel]

I've got my copy today and I know Hitomi's US name.

Hitomi is now called Kate.

 

[Maxim Posthumus]

I've got my copy today and I know Hitomi's US name.

Hitomi is now called Kate.

Kate?

Oh no~~~~!

Anyway, thanks a lot for the information.

Here's the cookie!

To System Error: Please continue your Pokemon Ranger 2 impressions report. It's very nice to read.

 

[System Error]

Sure, I can do that.

Part 17: AND THAT'S WHAT LIGHTS MY FI-YA!

Spoiler

I lied. Not sleepy enough. I turned on the game again after not being able to sleep and found out something interesting - the status screen changes to either day or night (and probably more) depending on the time of day! The time of day based on the DS's clock, that is. I think it was that way in the original Ranger, too.

So after all that happened then, Vlad gets awoken to find there's a fire in Vien Forest. Lacking any sort of say, firefighters, he has to act in their stead in his position as a Ranger.

Barlow:
I just received word from Crawford, who
was out on a stroll.

So he was just strolling around when he suddenly noticed the fire? Didn't he notice all the smoke? And heat? And the flames?

Luana:
Someone burn some toast or something?
That smoky smell woke me up...

The stupidity of this question is only furthered by the fact that there is no toaster in the Ranger base.

Drew:
Um, I like Pokemon.
I'm two years old.
I'm three.
Um, bye-bye.

I can usually decipher things from broken or internet English, but god damn. I can't figure out what she's trying to say to save my life.

Mr. Woodward
The trees of the forest are screaming
in agony...

All right, I've heard of the theory of Gaia and all that crap. But this is ridiculous!

Little Tim:
I keep telling her it's not safe and we have
to go, but she's not hearing any of it...

Some man you are.

-Mission-
Fight the Vien Forest Fire!

Once I set foot in the forest, all the smoke becomes visible. For some reason, all of it is contained here, with none of it seeping out into town. No fire in sight yet...

Luana:
Oh my gosh, it's little Mimi from the house
next door to the Base!

Mimi seems fine to me. But she won't leave until she has all her Happiny! Now that's loyalty! Stupid and rash, but loyalty!

20. Cherubi
21. Shinx
22. Weedle
23. Happiny

Weedle had way more HP than it should have...still an easy catch. And apparantly, according to the game, the Happiny Mimi owns are all wild. The Miltank on the farm was called "The farm Miltank" or something to that extent, but it just says these are wild ones.

As I try to head south from there, a burning log dropped down, and four Budew attacked! I caught them all at once.

The Ditched Beach Boy:
I'm not a Ranger, so I can't get a Pokemon
to help me.

Beach Boy is now known as The Ditched Beach Boy, and is lamenting his loss of his girlfriend and being stuck in the woods. Now that's a deep subplot! Oh yeah, and he's helping fight the fire by throwing water from the stream on it, and somehow succeeding despite not having a bucket.

As I go deeper in, Luana gets hotter. In the heat sense, which is only understandable because there's fire everywhere deeper in the forest. And I see another destroyed nuke transmitter item!

24. Wartortle

The flames are too intense to go any farther, apparantly. Even though there are no more beyond there! I use Wartortle's Soak 2 to extinguish the burning log that dropped down earlier. This somehow makes the log vanish into thin air as well, avoiding the need to use a Tackle or Crush move to get rid of it.

I got the rest of the Happinys and sent Mimi on her merry way.

I tried my Munchlax' assist for the first time too. Didn't seem too helpful, and the concept and gain per loop seems nerfed since the original. But hey, fuckin' Munchlax man.

25. Beedrill

Damn, this was somewhat slightly annoying. It was fast. But I was faster!

Crawford:
I hate admiting this, but my Styler's
malfunctioning from this crazy heat.

Yeah. That's exactly the equipment a Ranger needs. The kind that goes haywire when you need it most.

I need to capture a Blastoise so it can use Rain Dance to put out a lot of fire at once. There's also a lot of those brain bomb machines around. All of which are destroyed.

26. Buizel
27. Roselia

And after nearly being fucking decapitated by the damn thing as it tried to rocket tackle me...

28. Blastoise

Holy shit, did it have a lot of HP, though. Its HP bar even showed it!

29. Grotle

So did this thing. I think it could've potentially tackled me too, but I got it from behind before it could do so.

And with one Rain Dance, everything is back to normal! On the way back though, I run into "Mysterious Guy", who runs off (into a dead end) before we have a chance to talk with him. Then he gets taken back to the Ranger Base for medical treatment and a good 'ol fashioned interogation.

30. Combee

And after the fire, the Combees came out to play.

Part 18: Side-Questing

Spoiler

Back in Chicole, I find a little girl who heard crying under the school bridge! She thinks it's a Pokemon, her friends think it's a ghost, and I think it's a troll.

So I go check it out, and a gang of kids comes up, led by Little Boy, who claims the cry is not of a Pokemon, but a ghost. Hey, there were those Gastlys, weren't there? They're close enough! But no! It's of a Floatzel! One that I don't even get to capture! The little girl makes friends because of it. I get Water Defense 3, though.

I return, and in true fashion, get promoted to Rank 2. Yay? Now I can use Fire and Fighting assists. Oh and Mysterious Guy? He's getting bound up tightly until he decides to talk. Personally, I'd attack the "weak point" for "massive damage" to get him to talk, but I guess this works too. And he has a new name: "Oil-reeking guy." And then it becomes "Oil-Stinker-Creep." Then "Ollie".

Barlow is such a dick.

Now I have to do more quests or some shit because I was told to patrol. For example, I help "Old Woman" get a glimpse of a Combee, which I happened to have with me at the time. Instant quest completion! She uses the honey to bake cookies for her granddaughter. I get Electric Defense 3 from it. I also help "Boy" solve his anger problem by smashing crates on the beach. I find a paper with this on it...

Giga---- ---Type 08--U
(PRO-OTY-E)

Bo-- c-lor: Re-
Ene-gy: F--e

...which means...god knows what.

The rest of the text is illegibly blurred by
seawater.

Like The Almia Times? OH SNAP! It just takes that one breaking of a box with a nearby Bidoof to save the beach! For it, I get Normal Defense.

For his helping save the forest, Beach Girl decided to get back together with The Ditched Beach Boy. Now "The Ditched" is the one who has been ditched, as he is simply known as "Beach Boy" again. I then help Mr. Woodward clear fallen logs in the forest by using Cut 2 with Roselia for the Long Line Power-Up. Finally, something useful! With that, that's all I find there really is to do at the moment, so I decided to call it quits for the day. In-game and in-real life.

On one final note, sometimes, the other Rangers call Barlow, "Leader", leading to awkward statements such as...

Elaine:
Leader told me to keep my hands off that
machine until Prof. Hastings sees it.

Part 19: I hate Escort Missions.

Spoiler

So Vlad takes a rest, and, apparantly, it's still the same day of the fire, as a "The next day..." screen didn't appear. My mission is to find Prof. Hastings and escort him through the forest so he can come to the Ranger Base and examine the machine. I hate escort missions, but on the bright side, at least this escort won't die. Nor will he require carrying on my back. Or hand-holding. Or swimming him through an underwater deathtrap filled with mines. I hope.

When I go outside, I don't initially realize it, but I still have a Wartortle and Grotle with me from before. Which is...not really helpful. There's nothing more to do now either, so I have no choice but to move on. But just as I try to enter the forest, the Professor shows up.

Prof.Hastings:
I don't know whose idea of a prank it was,

Yeah, fuck you Crawford.

but that silly barrier on Lookout Ridge...

Who knows what they'd hoped to achieve,
but a hopelessly flimsy thing it was.

Oh, hell yeah! Hastings just did what I always dreamed of doing in games: just going through a barrier even if it's in the way, and smashing it otherwise!

Prof.Hastings
But that dashed Wendy, suggesting she'd
fly me to Vientown on her Staraptor...

FUN FACT: The name "Wendy" actually came from Peter Pan. Until that book was published, there were no records of that name ever being used in history. There were similar yet less drastic influxes of such name use throughout history - like, there were a lot of "Luke"s around the time of Star Wars' release.

Prof.Hastings
Who might you be?
A Ranger, are you?

Apparantly, that whole conversation was just Hastings talking to himself, just standing there at the entrance to the forest, not even noticing me just chilling there with Munchlax. Again, I am forced to wa...well, jog in this case, to the Ranger Base.

Prof.Hastings
I've seen something like this somewhere.
It was recently too.

Yeah, it was the forest. That's not helping. Get to the point already; what is it?

Prof.Hastings
I've seen this same thing on the way over
here! In Pueltown!

Yes, it was in Pueltown where I saw some men
carrying some machines like this.

Oh, so I guess there's more of them? Pueltown seems like my next destination!

Prof.Hastings
We need to conduct an investigation in Pueltown
right away!

Prof.Hastings and everyone else forgets why he was asked to come here: to tell us what this thing is and not where it is. He thought it was a mailbox when he first saw it, apparantly. I get sent off with Luana to go to Pueltown.

Part 20: Through the Forest...again...

Spoiler

So now I have to go all the way to Pueltown to find out what's going on.

31. Bonsly

Now I don't have to go back to the school, I found one here! Easy catch too, although I did overkill it with a Grotle Grass assist.

Along the way, I meet "Boy of the Ridge", who tells me to enjoy the view. Which I get forced to do. I see some city, some tower, a forest, some mountains, some water, an island, and stuff.

Lady of the Ridge:
There's a contest for naming [the tower].
How does Echo Tower sound to you?

Okay, now I'm seriously concerned. Is there something so wrong with the people of Almia that they can't make up their minds on what to name places?

Explorer:
There's always a rare Pokemon inside this
here cave.

Sweetness.

The wild Glameow attacked!

lol yeah right. Unless I'm missing something.

32. Bibarel

Now that's more like it...even if it wasn't in the cave at all. And as I near town, I hear that weird machine noise again...hmmm...

Part 21: <INSERT PUN HERE>

Spoiler

Sure enough, Pokemon everywhere are going nuts in Pueltown. Some guy called Brook somes up and talks to me as soon as I enter, saying something about the drawbridge and him being in charge of it.

- Mission -
Destroy the Strange Machines!

The first thing I do is go save in the Ranger Depot, which is surprisingly empty. Bibarel is a lot faster in destroying the machines than Wartortle, which takes its sweet time. For Bibarel, it only takes one bubble, but Wartortle takes like 12000 gallons of water.

Just as I destroy the first one, I see "Very Shady Guy" with his comrade "Terribly Shifty Guy", and surfer like theme. They're also talking about Gigaremo units or whatever. Since I have only one, I have to make multiple trips.

33. Growlithe
34. Magnemite
35. Rattata
36. Chatot
37. Tyrogue

I saw an Elekid too, but couldn't get it.

Brook:
I'll catch 'em, then truss 'em up a smidgeon
on the tight side.

With all these people promising to tie people up tight, you think all of Almia has an obsession with bondage.

After cleaing the first screen, there were more! The bottom left was blocked by a gate that needed Electrify 2, so I went to the bottom right instead.

38. Elekid

Now I got this. It has what I was looking for. Unfortunately, I needed to find one not being mind controlled. There was also a blue mini nuke machine that needed Electrify 2 to get by. Top left was all that remained...well, and north too, but that hardly counts now!

As I explore around some more, I find Pueltown strangely devoid of the things that make up a town - you know, houses. Unless everyone locked their doors and sealed themselves inside by destroying the pavement so that no one could walk there. Except Prof.Hastings.

Another bomb blaster turbine machine, this one green. Fire 2 was needed

Old Woman:
Did you see how the Pokemon were running
about outside?

We had to bring our plants in from outside
so they wouldn't get trampled.

The first house I find enterable has plants everywhere. Must've taken them forever to do something for an event that will likely only be lasting a few minutes longer. Okay, maybe longer, since I'm typing this as I play.

39. Magby
40. Voltorb

I also find a house in this west district that is somehow not being affected by the machine of doom, somehow. Maybe it has a bunch of lead paint on it? I don't know, this is too fucked up. It has a Growlithe in it, just what I need to destroy the green thingbombers. More lazy design disguised as a convinence!

A large-screen, flat-panel TV.
It's just a wall turned off.

IT'S JUST A WALL TURNED OFF.

I also find the Almia Times building in the same place. Again, for such a recent newspaper, it seems to have quite the startup, with labtops, bookshelves, swivle chairs, and the like. How did they afford it all again...?

So I trash the green machines with the help of the Growlithe in the building with lead paint, and am able to get the Electrify 2s I need to get rid of the blue bombers.

But suddenly, "Very Shady Guy" and "Terribly Shifty Guy" show up and let us know they're going to let their leader know. Thanks for the info, guys! The machines are called Gigaremo, apparantly, but I'll call them whatever I want. Pickles if I have to.

I use the Voltorbs to open the electric gates and get through the bottom right area. There, I find a little girl being danced around by Magbys and Elekids! Melody, in fact, who is Isaac's little sister. Where is he when she needs him, anyway? Brook's there, though...

Brook:
Super Brook Jump!

Unfortunately, he gets into the circle, and also needs to be rescued, because he completely forgot he can just use Super Brook Jump a second time to get out. But I can't just fight them: I need to shut off the machines with the Voltorbs. I find Melody and Issac's grandparents, named Old Man and Old Woman. And yet, Mimi's parents get properly named.

It's a wide-screen TV.
It's perfect for watching soccer.

Err...I don't get how a wide-screen TV is perfect for watching soccer any more than any other TV. Do they even broadcast it in HD?

Again, I find an Elekid in a building not far from the pickle of despair, which helps me clear the blue pickle of despair. Then I get Growlithe to clear the green potato, which was reasonably close and not stupidly close for once.

Boy:
Those funny guys carrying the heavy
things said something interesting.

"I hope the latest model is completed.
This old type is too stinking heavy!"

Just like computers and iPods, the rockets are becoming more and more compact, maybe even to the point of ridiculousness. Of course, there will be one big master one that is even bigger than the first ones.

Once I destroy the green, the game shows the Bibarels blocking the way go away. Apparantly, showing the Elekids and Magbys going away too was less important, because I don't see it happen.

I follow the "shady gang" to the harbor, and find even more of those fucking Bart Simpson dolls.

41. Wingull
42. Raticate

I went a little crazy on Raticate, and took some damage because of it. It's nothing major, though. Wingull tried to hurt me too, but the power-up I got made it do a whopping 0 damage.

I find "Pretty Sneaky Guy" talking with his gang and a Toxicroak alongside a Gold Machine. There's also "Seriously Sketchy Guy",

They received enough data from this experiment, apparantly, and are fine with letting us take over.

Luana:
Let's chance it and ask them.

Yeah, that's a good fucking idea. We all know how well that turned out with Ollie, right? But, since I have no choice...

Seriously Sketchy Guy:
Y-You vandals!

I was waiting for someone to call the Rangers vandals. Seriously, with all the fences and boxes they've destroyed, how could they not be? And I might mention I quite like these guys' names. Reminds me of Earthbound in a way.

They claim they are Team Dim Sun. One of the few (okay, only) names I remember from the Japanese version, Team Yamiyami, makes absolutely no goddamn sense to me. Only reason I remember it is because it sucked in my eyes. Yes, I rather like this name too.

Pretty Sneaky Guy:
We're a criminal syndicate with dreams of
world domination!

Yeah, what else is new?

Team Dim Sun Admin:
Whoa! Why'd you tell them anything!?

When you consider Dim Sun has surfer music, that out-of-character-for-a-world-dominating-person "whoa" kind of makes sense. What doesn't make sense, however, is why this guy just gets called "Team Dim Sun Admin" and they get specific, descriptive names.

Team Dim Sun Minion:
Oh, no! I thought I was being helpful!
They took advantage of my kindness!

Scratch that. Pretty Sneaky Guy is now just "Team Dim Sun Minion"

Team Dim Sun Minion:
I'll make them forget what they heard with
a little unfriendly persuasion!

Sure thing.

Team Dim Sun Minion:
Team Rattata, attack!

Jesus, how many teams are there in this game!?

I get all four at once, but take a little damage. No biggie, though. Finally, different battle music, too!

Team Dim Sun Minion:
I underestimated you, but this time, it's
for real!

Team Raticate?

Team Dim Sun Minion:
Go, Toxicroak!

Nope, just a Toxicroak. Strangely, the one that was called "Pretty Sneaky Guy" sicced Team Rattata on me, and now "Seriously Sketchy Guy" is acting like he was the one who did it.

I fucked it up the first time, so I instead went and got a bunch of Rattatas and a Tyrogue, and destroyed it. It had way too many annoying attacks. Seriously, I've already had enough of those stupid muck puddle moves.

43. Toxicroak

After I beat it, they all run off like the little bitches they are, taking the gold machine with them. Brook goes swimming after them like a maniac with his sandles in his mouth. Then comes back.

Part 22: King's Quest 2

Spoiler

Man:
Ranger, have a gander at my sorry state.
I'm dripping with sweat, so run down.

I don't see any sweat. Couldn't they have animated him to be like that? The object of this quest is to smash some crates! Again! But this time there's an added twist: I must destroy not one, but TWO crates! Luckily, there are some Happiny around to do it, which can crush stuff despite their atrocious attack, just by throwing a rock at it.

By the way, the guy was complaining the boxes were in the way. Which they far from were! Both were off to the side of the path. For it, I got Bug Defense. Oh yeah, and in true Pokemon Ranger fashion, I got prom-wait, no I didn't! So you save a forest and get a promotion, but save a city and you don't!? What is this!?

Part 23: King's Quest 3

Spoiler

Vlad wakes up the next day and finds...the mammon machine completely dismantled by Elaine. Yeah, like that helped. They also got milk pudding from Big Bertha.

Apparantly, the haven't been feeding Ollie either. Yeah, that's a good way to get information. Starving the interrogee to death. BB feeds him it like he was a baby. And he finally talks:

Ollie:
I...I don't deserve this...

BUZZ!

Ollie:
The Vien Forest's fire...
That fire...

It's all my fault!

A confession! Ah-ha! I knew it. We're taking your ass to JAIL.

Ollie:
I'm clumsy, and I spilled Gigaremo's fuel...
It splashed all over, and then...
A spark plug went, and that lit the fuel,
and the fire spread wildly, and...

Okay, so he's explaining how he did it, but what he fails to mention is where the "spark plug" came from. There aren't any electric types or fire types in the forest to cause it. So what caused the spark?

Ollie:
I didn't even know those guys...
I just met one long ago.

"Hey, Ollie! It's me, Really Evil Guy! You remember, class of '83! How's it hanging you old...oily guy!"

Ollie:
He said I could make some easy money, so I
accepted.

When someone says "easy money", anyone with half a brain should know it's probably a scam. Then again, from what I've seen so far, I'd be surprised if they even had a tenth.

Ollie:
Y-Your milk pudding was d-delicious...

Compassion: 1
S&M: 0

Take that, bondage freaks!

After that I have to patrol again. But not before seeing another Almia Times issue. This one's Volume 5. Somehow, their reporters got pictures of Vlad and Luana running around and Team Dim Sun Admin without any of them noticing.

Ollie also asks me to escort him.

Ollie:
My mo--...friend lives in Chicole Village.

Strong Oedipus.

Ollie:
I'd like to see how she's doing, but I'm really
bad at things like this.

STRONG OEDIPUS. Probably can't do much better. It isn't even a Quest, so I get nothing out of it.

But as I'm doing so...

Little Sis:
Listen, listen, it's scary!
A hat ghost appeared at our Partner Farm!

Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost is here!?

I go check it out, and all I find is a hat that's moving.

Ollie:
Oh, my gosh, that hat is moving!
It is a hat ghost!

But that could be anything there - not just a ghost. Jesus, do I have to do all the bravery around here!? I find that it is actually just a Kricketot. One that I had to capture and had WAY more HP than it should've.

44. Kricketot

I then get it as a partner. But from what I've seen so far, Bug Assists suck. Also, Ollie seems to know quite a bit about Rangering, thanks to Elaine. People seem to enjoy telling a lot of information about themselves to their enemies in Almia.

So I drop Ollie off at his mommy friend's house. All she wanted to do is hear him say "I'm home." And apparantly, either his real name is Ollie by some sheer coincidence, or nobody's telling it to me.

More questing is about after that: I help Webster the sign guy by removing a rock that crushed the sign in Breeze Hill. Ya know, the one warning couples to watch out for falling rocks. They're conspiring against us all, I tells ya! They're out to kill us! Instead of just putting the sign somewhere else, Webster wants me to smash the rock so it can go back where it was.

Luckily, I didn't need to go searching for Crush 2, as I had a couple of Beedrill on hand, which...are somehow able to shatter a rock with a single fucking stinger. He quickly brings out the new sign and I get my bonus: Dark Defense. That'd be nice, except I haven't fought any dark types yet.

Young Guy:
Ranger! It's a crisis!

The last crisis I went to had no reward. Does this have a reward!?

Young Guy:
Nah...
"Crisis" is too over the top.
Earlier, I saw a Cranidos being chased by
a Wartortle in the Vien Forest

Well...maybe it deserved it for screwing with the thing? Can't we just let nature run its course for once? But, I have to nevertheless save the Cranidos to get my quest clearing. I grab a Cherubi to make it easier on me, since I know I'll probably be fighting the Wartortle. Even though it's easy enough to catch anyway.

I find them a short while away, playing ring around the tree. Then BOTH of them attack me! And I also learned that figure-8s do NOT work well at all.

45. Cranidos

Sadly, the Ranger Union forgets to send me the Power-Up Data. Instead, I have to settle for having Cranidos as a partner, Which is all right, I guess. Crandios is pretty damn dirty - I have a max attack of its evolution Rampardos on DP. But Rock Assist is not. I mean, why waste time flicking crap at your target when you can be circling them at Mach 2?

Well actually, I was wrong. You can make it like a machine gun, unlike Bug Assist. So I guess it's kind of all right. And through all this, no one questions them having supposed to be extinct!

Then I had back to Pueltown. I find some Arab from the "Haruba Desert" or whatever selling sand. The town also seems to have a problem with Pokemon chasing people...gee, I wonder why that might happen.

More weird shit I see includes...

It's an expensive bookshelf.
It left no money to buy books.

BUT THERE ARE BOOKS ON IT!

Man:
This condo building is the highest in all
Almia

This guy says this, yet, there are only two stories here and no accessable roof, and The Almia Times building also has two stories and an accesable roof! See what's wrong, there?

And there are rumors of Pueltown being taken over and redeveloped by Altru Imc...makes me wonder who the real bad guys are. Unfortunately, I find no quests there.

Also, they found a black stone or some shit in the machine.

Part 24: I Should Just Be Thankful I Didn't Have An Oxygen Meter.

Spoiler

It's a travesty! The bridge...the Norward Bridge...IS STUCK OPEN! Now, they need my help to clear this emergency. Barlow shows me the bridge, which looks pretty closed to me. Since the Prof. hates to fly, we need to find Brook and get his lazy ass back here to fix it, since he operates it and all.

Brook:
...the key for raising and lowering the
bridge is at the bottom of the see.

First question: how did it even get there? Second question: I'm not going to have to do an underwater dungeon, am I?

Barlow
This Micro Aqualung will let you breath
underwater.

FUCK!

Barlow
I... Uh...
I'll stay on shore.

On top of this, I can't bring land Pokemon into the sea, and I can't bring sea Pokemon onto the land. Wonderful. No partner for me. And there aren't even any Pokemon that can function both underwater and on land, like, say, Bibarel.

Brook:
There are fast-running currents, though.
Be careful down there.

God damn it. I hate those puzzles.

The graphics underwater are...really cartoony. I don't like it. The Micro Aqualung looks like the thing used on the show. Of course, neither this or that makes any sense, as all it seems to be is something you put in your mouth, with no actual source of air. The guy also really swims really weird: it sort of looks like he's walking with his feet at a weird angle or wading. Underwater.

Also, voicemail and the Styler works fine underwater.

46. Finneon
47. Chinchou
48. Mantyke

Mantyke's entry states its back patterns vary from region to region, but it's a happy face here, just like in DPP. Then a Sharpedo eats the key.

-Mission-
Recover a Key from Sharpedo!

49. Qwilfish
50. Corsola

I smash a rock and see Sharpedo swimming around in a crevice. Instead of, you know, swimming off the cliff and chasing it, I get forced to do it the hard way. Argh.

51. Staryu

Beyond that rock was a Staryu, which I needed to use to destroy a bunch of wood blocks that I can't swim over or anything.

52. Mantine

I needed this to cross the canyon. Because Vlad can't swim, and can only sink like a rock and wade around a few inches above the ground. Adding to the HP weirdness again, it had a big health bar, but low HP. Riding it is pretty cool in a way - it's not automatic, rather, you can control the Pokemon.

As I enter into the arena, I get told that Barlow was told Sharpedos swim very fast, so the solution is not to cut it off, but to catch currents. And what an annoying solution it is. Took me like 10 minutes to catch the bastard, and when I finally did, I went all-out and got hit a lot. But I got it!

The Sharpedo looks horribly ill.
Is the key it swallowed causing discomfort?

You know, most "horribly ill" things I know don't flee from anything it sees at breakneck speeds. They either violently lash out at anything it sees or acts as deadweight.

I teleport back to the ship afterwards. My Cranidos joins me here, despite not being on the ship when I got on. It also gets off the ship by just walking off - it has no need for jumping like Vlad or Brook.

Barlow
You could even open your eyes down there?

...it never occured to me until just now that I was down there without goggles, and yet still saw clearly. For doing so well under "salty conditions", I get promoted to Rank 3. Apparantly, that's more rewardable than saving a city. Ground and Steel assists open up too, despite, again, never seeing any yet. Oh, and I can now have four Friend Pokemon.

And the bridge goes down! Also, I meet a guy called Murph.

Murph:
I'm Murph, and I'm in charge of PR for the
Ranger Union.

PR? Press Release? Public Relations? Power Rangers?

Murph:
That means I get full access to all the
Union's Ranger databases.

I hope he doesn't know what I did in the lunch the other day.

Murph:
So of course I know who you are.
It's my job to know these things...

It's one thing to have access to the database. It's another to have memorized it out and about.

Murph:
Altru Park is north (^) of Pueltown
Let's go goof off...

Uh, no.

 

[Rappak]

They guy's name defaults to Kellyn. WTF name is that? Kelly is a girl's name and to stick an n at the end...

 

[Nando]

I thumbed through the player's guide, so some random info...

-This game seems REALLY long. The condensed walkthrough took four pages in the front of the book.

-There's a Capture Arena in the postgame but it looks different than the old one. It looks like you have to progress through rooms.

-This seemed odd: I turned ahead to the very end of the book, to the Altru Tower section, hoping to find the English name of Team Dim Sun's boss. Instead I found this: "Finally, Team Dim Sun's boss reveals himself and announces his plan." His name isn't given in the book.

EDIT: I found out who it is...and yeah, they avoided naming him to avoid a massive spoiler.

-I noticed one of the Dim Sun Commanders is named Ice.