POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 20 - Route One Rumble!)

[Rob Anybody]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 17)

including the Team Rocket Trio...Gold!

 

[Hellion]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 17)

For reasons unknown to me, Legacy asked me to review his fic but since I haven’t commented on it before, I’ll just review all the chapters up until now at once so sorry if this is too lengthy but…

Let’s dive right in and start with the positive. This fanfiction has a good balance between description, dialogue and action so it’s very fluid. The language is impeccable and that’s always a plus. This fanfiction also has some elements that would usually turn me off, namely guns and made-up pokemon, but here they’re pulled off well enough to not hinder my appreciation of the story.

I also really liked the very detailed battles. They’re very easy to picture them and the way they’re writing them is filled with tension and keeps the reader on edge. I also like how much Ash is involved in the battle. Status moves, abilities, environment, strategy are usually what separates the great battles from the good ones. Those elements are already present but could play an even bigger part.

The Rocket plot is also very solid. I loved it when Jessie, James and Meowth made their appearance, but the bulk of the Rocket plot was already well anchored in the story. I only wish we could see more anime canon Rocket members like Domino, Butch, Cassidy and Namba.

I like the overall darker edgier tone of the story, but I don’t feel that tone is reflected in the main cast. While they are true to their anime counterpart for the most part, some feel very one-dimensional namely May, Max and Brock. Part of the reason why they feel this way is that there’s no surprise with those three characters. May’s a coordinator dating Drew, Max went to get the Ralts and he’s a trainer and Brock’s a breeder, so far nothing unexpected, nothing to spark interest. I want to see more of them, be more surprised by them.

Ash is interesting in this story but somehow I’d like to see more out of his interactions with both his pokemon and his friends. I was pleasantly surprised by Dawn’s portrayal as I felt she was compelling, touching, occasionally bitchy (but that’s a good thing) but above all else she’s believable. Though for all the praise I’m giving to the portrayal of the character, I wonder how much of it was intentional since throughout the story, I felt like Dawn was almost solely there to make Misty look good. A good example would be the scene where both discuss how they feel about Ash’s Feraligatr. Dawn felt very out of character in that scene since she never displayed any disdain for any pokemon’s appearance even going as far as befriending a Grimer with self-confidence issues. I don’t know what’s in store for Dawn. I’m afraid she’ll just be the girl who’s there to make Misty look good, but then make a heel face turn at the last minute and support Ash and Misty’s relationship because she wants her beloved to be happy and she couldn’t stand in the way of their predestined love. That would be cliché. I hope there’s more to her character’s development than that.

This brings us to Misty. I knew from the start that this was a fanfic in which Misty and Pokéshipping played a big part and so I when I read it, I tried to put any preconceived ideas and opinions I had about the character and the pairing aside. I have to say I quite liked the fact that the character was taken in a totally different direction. It was unpredictable and while I like the idea, the execution left me a bit cold for two reasons. First, I felt the story was trying too much to make me feel sorry for the character which ultimately failed since she doesn’t really do anything but whine about her situation instead of actively trying to improve it and also because of her actual relationship with Ash. I mean Misty whines a lot about how difficult it would be for her and Ash to reconnect, so far so good, but then she gets a vision from legendary pokemon basically telling her she and Ash are meant to be together which spurs her into action, not a doubt in her mind (let’s remember she’s supposedly depressed) and take out her powerhouse pokemon to save Ash. Misty just wedges herself back in the group, no questions asked, no recriminations, no nothing (except from Dawn but nobody cares). Also Ash totally ditches Dawn, the girl who’s been there for years, for Misty, the girl he barely knows anymore. I was actually feeling sorry for Dawn here, rooting for her more than Ash and Misty. Why? It’s because she’s the one who doesn’t have it easy. She’s the one who has to face hurdles, obstacles, uneasiness, etc. so she’s the one that then becomes compelling. Had it been the opposite, Misty would have been compelling and the uneasiness and awkwardness between her and Ash, slowly learning to work together and get to know each other would be more interesting.

Overall, this story has a good solid plot, intriguing, darker, edgier but it gets in the way of the relationships between the characters which are a bit lacking. Though it is clearly one of the better fics I’ve read in a while and I’ll definitely continue reading it.

Sorry for the lenght and sorry if I sound mean, I actually like the fic.

 

[Legacy]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 17)

For reasons unknown to me, Legacy asked me to review his fic but since I haven’t commented on it before, I’ll just review all the chapters up until now at once so sorry if this is too lengthy but…

Let’s dive right in and start with the positive. This fanfiction has a good balance between description, dialogue and action so it’s very fluid. The language is impeccable and that’s always a plus. This fanfiction also has some elements that would usually turn me off, namely guns and made-up pokemon, but here they’re pulled off well enough to not hinder my appreciation of the story.

I also really liked the very detailed battles. They’re very easy to picture them and the way they’re writing them is filled with tension and keeps the reader on edge. I also like how much Ash is involved in the battle. Status moves, abilities, environment, strategy are usually what separates the great battles from the good ones. Those elements are already present but could play an even bigger part.

The Rocket plot is also very solid. I loved it when Jessie, James and Meowth made their appearance, but the bulk of the Rocket plot was already well anchored in the story. I only wish we could see more anime canon Rocket members like Domino, Butch, Cassidy and Namba.

I like the overall darker edgier tone of the story, but I don’t feel that tone is reflected in the main cast. While they are true to their anime counterpart for the most part, some feel very one-dimensional namely May, Max and Brock. Part of the reason why they feel this way is that there’s no surprise with those three characters. May’s a coordinator dating Drew, Max went to get the Ralts and he’s a trainer and Brock’s a breeder, so far nothing unexpected, nothing to spark interest. I want to see more of them, be more surprised by them.

Ash is interesting in this story but somehow I’d like to see more out of his interactions with both his pokemon and his friends. I was pleasantly surprised by Dawn’s portrayal as I felt she was compelling, touching, occasionally bitchy (but that’s a good thing) but above all else she’s believable. Though for all the praise I’m giving to the portrayal of the character, I wonder how much of it was intentional since throughout the story, I felt like Dawn was almost solely there to make Misty look good. A good example would be the scene where both discuss how they feel about Ash’s Feraligatr. Dawn felt very out of character in that scene since she never displayed any disdain for any pokemon’s appearance even going as far as befriending a Grimer with self-confidence issues. I don’t know what’s in store for Dawn. I’m afraid she’ll just be the girl who’s there to make Misty look good, but then make a heel face turn at the last minute and support Ash and Misty’s relationship because she wants her beloved to be happy and she couldn’t stand in the way of their predestined love. That would be cliché. I hope there’s more to her character’s development than that.

This brings us to Misty. I knew from the start that this was a fanfic in which Misty and Pokéshipping played a big part and so I when I read it, I tried to put any preconceived ideas and opinions I had about the character and the pairing aside. I have to say I quite liked the fact that the character was taken in a totally different direction. It was unpredictable and while I like the idea, the execution left me a bit cold for two reasons. First, I felt the story was trying too much to make me feel sorry for the character which ultimately failed since she doesn’t really do anything but whine about her situation instead of actively trying to improve it and also because of her actual relationship with Ash. I mean Misty whines a lot about how difficult it would be for her and Ash to reconnect, so far so good, but then she gets a vision from legendary pokemon basically telling her she and Ash are meant to be together which spurs her into action, not a doubt in her mind (let’s remember she’s supposedly depressed) and take out her powerhouse pokemon to save Ash. Misty just wedges herself back in the group, no questions asked, no recriminations, no nothing (except from Dawn but nobody cares). Also Ash totally ditches Dawn, the girl who’s been there for years, for Misty, the girl he barely knows anymore. I was actually feeling sorry for Dawn here, rooting for her more than Ash and Misty. Why? It’s because she’s the one who doesn’t have it easy. She’s the one who has to face hurdles, obstacles, uneasiness, etc. so she’s the one that then becomes compelling. Had it been the opposite, Misty would have been compelling and the uneasiness and awkwardness between her and Ash, slowly learning to work together and get to know each other would be more interesting.

Overall, this story has a good solid plot, intriguing, darker, edgier but it gets in the way of the relationships between the characters which are a bit lacking. Though it is clearly one of the better fics I’ve read in a while and I’ll definitely continue reading it.

Sorry for the lenght and sorry if I sound mean, I actually like the fic.

Thank you so much for the review! All valid points you make, Gible, especially about the intereaction between characters. This is one of my many weaknesses as a writer, so it's definitely something I need to improve on. Thanks again for reading!

 

[ILurvezSkitty15]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 17)

I've just spent a long time reading all this... It's really good in my opinion.

 

[Derier44]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 17)

Saw this in the nominations and thought I peek in to see what it was about. One of the best fics I have ever read, and I hhave read a lot of fics. One main thing with your writing is that you have a great way of describing things. It definwtly gets me into the story and when the plot comes around with the characters and the already known backstory, its like watching a new season on TV (rated PG-13). I cannot wait for the next chapter and I do deeply thank you for rewriting this!

 

[Blondie]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 17)

Saw this in the nominations and thought I peek in to see what it was about. One of the best fics I have ever read, and I hhave read a lot of fics. One main thing with your writing is that you have a great way of describing things. It definwtly gets me into the story and when the plot comes around with the characters and the already known backstory, its like watching a new season on TV (rated PG-13). I cannot wait for the next chapter and I do deeply thank you for rewriting this!

Yea the main thing that sets this story apart is the level of detail. Obviously there are parts that could be criticized which leg fully admits, but on the whole, tpi is certainly one of the most polished and enjoyable fics to read. Part of the main reason I love it is because it sor takes the anime I love and gives it a more adult feel. The story line is crazy exciting and has many twists and turns for suspense.

 

[Derier44]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 17)

^
AGREED!

 

[Legacy]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 17)

Two things:

1) I'm no longer spelling Pokemon with a lower-case 'p' in the fic. Before I was treating the word, "Pokemon" like "animal," but just FYI I'm going back to the old spelling where "Pokemon" and names of Pokemon are now capitalized. Just sort of changed my mind on it, so yeah.

2) Thank you for reading! If you even somewhat enjoy parts of this fic and feel generous enough to vote for this fic in the Fall Quarter BMGf Fic Awards, I would appreciate it to no end. Even if this fic isn't your favorite, please remember to participate/vote and show your favorite authors some love. Lot's of good ones to choose from!

“But Dad, I want to help too!”

“Ben, we've been over this again and again,” the boy’s father replied sternly as he nervously peered out of the bedroom window overlooking the city. The man then hurriedly threw on his leather jacket and checked the pockets for his pokéballs.

“But Dad! I’m a trainer now! Me and Tyrogue can help stop these mean people who want to take over our city!” the young boy with sandy brown hair insisted as he and his baby Pokémon sat anxiously on his bed.

“Ty-Roogue!” the creature adamantly agreed with clenched fists.

“Ben!” The boy’s father stopped and gave his son a very severe look. “No! You’re only ten. You’re way too young! I know you want to help, but this isn't just some schoolyard Pokémon battle. It's too dangerous.”

The man walked over to the bed where his son was sitting. He bent over and gave the boy a big hug, squeezing him much harder and longer than normal… then led him by the shoulders towards the small closet on the opposite side of the boy’s small bedroom. The small, purple-skinned Pokémon which Ben had received only a week earlier, on his tenth birthday, hopped down from the bed as well and obediently followed its trainer across the room.

“Now, I want you and Tyrogue to sit here in the closet and wait with the door closed,” the father instructed, kneeling down so he could be at eye-level with his son. He opened the closet door, and coaxed the boy and his companion inside the small stall.

The man continued to look and sound very serious, saying, “Now, I don’t want you two to come out for any reason – any reason at all – until I come back. Do I make myself clear?”

“But Dad, what if –”

“DO… I make myself… clear?!”

The boy knew that the tone his father was using meant that he shouldn't continue on arguing. Biting his tongue, Ben stared down at the ground somewhat disappointedly and muttered, “Yes, Dad.”

“Good,” the man replied.

He patted the boy on the shoulder and tried to smile. He took what he hoped would not be his last look at his ten year old son and ruffled his brown hair lovingly before shutting the door. With that, the man took a deep breath and ran out of the room.

Inside the now pitch-black closet, Ben and Tyrogue sat on the hardwood floor quietly for a few minutes, growing more and more restless by the second. To pass the time, Ben tried whistling tunes and talking to Tyrogue about gym battles. But after a while, the two companions simply couldn't sit still any longer. Finally, Ben stood up and felt around until his hand found the door knob. He slowly opened the door, allowing the light to trickle inside the small cell through the open crack.

“Real Pokémon trainers don’t hide in closets when there’s trouble,” he said with a determined expression. He looked down at his partner in crime, who nodded in agreement. “Come on, Tyrogue! Let’s go!”

…

Meanwhile, outside the boy’s house, at the very edge of the beautiful metropolitan city of Goldenrod, a large group of the town’s people had gathered along with their Pokémon in front of the city’s entrance along the border. They all stood side by side like the front line of an army, solemnly staring off into the distance, apparently waiting for something. They wielded baseball bats, crowbars, and other blunt objects which they felt could be used to defend their city, while their loyal group of Pokémon all stood on guard beside them.

Suddenly, someone in the crowd pointed out towards the horizon and hollered, “Here they come!”

Instantly, all the townspeople’s heads shot up to look. Sure enough, approaching from the distance, a platoon of men could be seen marching down the long and winding dirt path towards Goldenrod City. They all wore threatening expressions on their otherwise emotionless faces and were dressed in all-black suits with blood-red ‘TR’ logos emblazoned on the left lapel of their jackets.

And treading right in the middle of the formation of marchers was the towering and terrorizing presence of the Killer Pokémon – M3, as the mysterious new Team Rocket leader had called it. Many of the Goldenrod citizens recognized the beast right away from the televised terrorist attack at Sapphire Stadium. Its eyes emitted their familiar blazing red glow through the complex-looking steel mask on its face. Its stare was eagerly fixed upon all the people, Pokémon and buildings which, in its mind, were waiting to be destroyed. But the townspeople firmly stood their ground as the group of agents neared with every intention of taking over their city.

“Well, look what we have here!” the Rocket agent at the head of the pack said with a chuckle when they finally reached the edge of the city and met the barricade of brave residents with barely ten feet separating the two sides. “What? You think baseball bats and broom sticks can stop us from taking your city?”

All of the black-clad men laughed out load at how pathetic the Goldenrod residents' defensive efforts were. M3 let loose a terrifying shriek and viciously whipped its long tail in anticipation of the carnage that would soon occur. Despite the grave situation they faced if they did not surrender, each and every one of the assembled citizens stood firm like statues, continuing to block the entrance to their city. Some wore frightened expressions on their faces, but all were united as they refused to just give up their home to the forces of evil.

“Don't be stupid! No one has to get killed here today... Why don't you all just go home? We're just here to relieve your city leaders and law enforcement officials of their duties. We also want to use that big radio tower of yours. Allow us to do what we came to do and no one has to die!

“You have all seen what the new Team Rocket regime is now capable of. Our boss warned you not to disobey our commands. We don't need to tell you what will happen if you fail to cooperate.”

The large group of people still did not budge. Both the townspeople and the soldiers continued to stare each other down, each waiting for the other group to make the first move. The Team Rocket agents were ready to storm the city if need be, with the same violent force as they had done at the stadium. The Goldenrod City residents were equally up to the task, ready to bravely defend their home and livelihoods.

After a few moments of silent tension, the stand off was suddenly interrupted by a small voice towards the back of the group of townspeople.

“Lemme through! Lemme through!”

A young boy recklessly pushed his way through the crowd and up to the front of the group where he saw the brigade of soldiers and their red-eyed monster. A small human-shaped Pokémon trailed behind the boy.

“Ben! NO! Come back here!” another voice from the group of residents desperately called out.

But before anyone of the Goldenrod townspeople could stop him, the young boy rushed towards the group of soldiers and pointed menacingly at their tyrannical Pokémon.

“You jerks aren’t going to take our town without a fight!”

Amid the terrified gasps of his people, which Ben ignored, the boy commanded his Tyrogue to attack with a confident and almost arrogant look on his rosy-cheeked face. This was his chance to prove his worth as a trainer. His city needed him.

“Tyrogue! Use Tackle on that thing!” he bellowed, feeling the adrenaline rush through his blood. This must be what the famous trainers he watched on T.V. felt like.

The small brown and purple Pokémon clenched its fists and took off as fast as its skinny legs would carry it towards its much bigger opponent. The Team Rocket agents just sort of chuckled at the boy and moved out of the way, allowing his puny Tyrogue to smash into M3's leg with its Tackle attack. Upon contact, Tyrogue simply bounced off of the creature like it had just sprinted full speed into a brick wall. The diminutive fighting-type was propelled backwards and fell clumsily to the ground, while the metal armored beast wasn’t affected in the slightest.

Looking only slightly annoyed, M3 stared down at the pathetic baby Pokémon that had foolishly dared to attack it. The red glow of its narrowed eyes and the blazing orb in its chest intensified, its jaws opened wide, exposing the jagged row of fangs and the deadly red ball of energy that was charging inside. The confident expressions of both Ben and Tyrogue’s faces had instantly disappeared and were now replaced by looks of sheer terror and regret as they watched the huge Pokémon charge up its lethal attack, which was clearly being aimed at both of them.

But suddenly, a piercing, banshee-like scream from the heavens above interrupted the scene.

And before anyone had a chance to look up to see what had made the noise, a mystical beam of red flames surrounded by an indescribable shimmering radiance came blasting down from the sky. The fiery energy bolt hit M3 squarely in unarmored part of it gut and sent it sprawling to the ground just before it could unleash its attack on the boy.

Obviously alarmed by the abrupt attack on their unstoppable beast, the soldiers all directed their attention skyward where they saw the source of the mysterious fire attack. Everyone, including all the townspeople, gasped when they saw a huge red bird with a massive wingspan and yellow tail feathers soaring through the air. Its entire sleek and slender body was enveloped by a dazzling golden aura, and it trailed an awe-inspiring, sparkling rainbow behind it as it glided.

The majestic flying Pokémon was certainly quite a sight to behold. The bird flapped its powerful wings and came swooping down like a comet towards Team Rocket’s beast, which had returned to its metal-covered feet since being toppled by the bird’s sneak attack.

Forgetting about its inferior competition – the kid and his Tyrogue – the creature began shooting beam after beam of deadly red energy into the air towards the incoming flying Pokémon. But with awesome speed, agility and grace, the winged fire-type flier dodged each and every lethal attack that flew at it with ease.

After narrowly avoiding the final blast from the evil beast, the mysterious bird fired another blazing hot attack from its beak and down towards the ground like a laser. This one was aimed at the gang of Team Rocket agents. The mighty streak of enchanted fire exploded upon impact with the ground where the group stood. The extreme heat of the attack charred the ground to the same black color as the soldiers’ uniforms. Several of the Rocket grunts were killed instantly, their decimated bodies sent flying along with the debris from the ground.

The remaining agents fearfully scattered, but M3 remained determined to kill this strange bird. It continued to unleash more of its homicidal beams of deathly energy, but the zooming feathered creature streaked across the sky like a missile, again moving too fast for the killer to destroy it.

Finally, after exhausting itself with multiple failed attacks, the armored Team Rocket beast ran out of the necessary strength too keep fighting. Its red beams grew weaker and weaker with every blast until it could no longer discharge them.

It was at this time that the flying Pokémon struck. With another majestic explosion of sparkling red fire, M3 was sent flying and crash-landed hard into the ground, crushing several of the remaining soldiers under its weight.

Sensing that the situation was now slipping from their control, the lead agent who had first addressed the townspeople held his arm up and commanded the remainder of his troops to retire. His face, which had been smug and arrogant when the Rocket agents had first arrived at the Goldenrod border, was now showing definite signs of fear and confusion after the unexpected attack from the fire-breathing bird had interrupted their plan. He knew it was time to retreat and regroup, but how could this have happened?

“Agents! We must return to headquarters! Fall back! Fall back!” he shouted amid the angry shrieks of bird and the terrified screams of his agents.

M3 returned to its feet, and judging by its body language once it picked itself up, it looked more enraged than ever and ready to unleash more attacks. But as the head Rocket agent commanded its creature to fall back with the rest of them, the beast's chest jewel glowed brighter and it relented. The bipedal monster obediently followed the pack of agents as they withdrew down the same path on which they had come.

As the surviving agents retreated, their commander's head was still spinning after their failed attempt at taking over Goldenrod City. What the hell had happened? What in the world was that mysterious bird that had protected the town? As he and his men tried to catch their breath and let the gruesome loss of several of their men sink in, the man removed his cell phone from the pocket of his now torn and tattered jacket. He punched a few buttons then held the device to his ear, seething with rage as he awaited an answer.

…

Inside his dimly lit office, the Boss sat behind his desk, monitoring his various teams’ progress on his computer as they traveled from region to region, city to city, establishing the new Team Rocket’s dominance. Suddenly, the man’s cell phone ring interrupted him. Without looking away from his computer screen, he reached into his black blazer's pocket and retrieved his phone.

“Yes?” he answered.

“Ah, Agent Tyson, I was just thinking of you… I trust you are calling to tell me that the mission in Goldenrod City went w –

“WHAT?! What the fuck happened?! Impossible! How many men did we lose?!”

The Rocket boss jumped out of his chair and screamed angrily at his field agent as he began to pace nervously back and forth across the room. This was most definitely not the news he had expected to hear from the team that had been assigned to travel along with M3. How on earth could they fail with his unbeatable Killer Pokémon at their side?

“A flying fire-bird Pokémon?! What did it look like?! Sparkling fire beams?! Trailing a rainbow?!”

Hearing about the mysterious protector of Goldenrod City immediately caused the man to feel a chill down his spine. Was it possible that there was a Pokémon out there that was powerful enough to defeat his precious M3?

“Well, get back here on the double then, Tyson! We must heal the creature quickly! NO one can find out about this! I’ll deal with YOU when you and your men return!”

The man hung up and pounded his fist angrily against his desk so hard that he nearly knocked his entire desktop computer onto the floor. Still writhing with rage, the wheels in his mind appeared to be turning, as he just sat behind his desk and stared at the wall for a few moments. The angry scowl on his face seemed to intensify by the second. Finally, he picked his phone back up and dialed a different number.

After a few seconds, he barked irately, “What is your status? You’ve been in Pallet Town long enough! Where is Ketchum?! I’m sick of waiting! I want you to bring me that kid NOW!”

BACK IN PALLET TOWN...​

Ash tried to lose himself in the perpetual blackness all around him. The insides of his eyelids were all he tried to focus on as he lay on his back on the lumpy mattress Professor Oak had set up for him in one of the laboratory's utility rooms. Only a faint bit of moonlight was able to peek in through the single window right above the head of the makeshift bed. But as much as the fifteen-year-old tried to clear his mind of all the unbelievable events that had had occurred over the past week, there was just no way he was going to be able to fall asleep. Ash had certainly been through his fair share of adventure over the years, but never had he experienced anything like this before.

It had all started over a week ago with the mysterious “gift” he had received just before his first match in the tournament. A single gold coin with five tiny, colorful gemstones fastened to its shiny surface... a gift that apparently possessed some amazing powers, which Ash experienced on more than one occasion. Without the slightest idea of who might have left him such a thing or how such powers could even exist, Ash's mind was wild with speculation.

Then there was Alexis Moss – the beautiful girl on a search for her lost older sister – whom Ash had met outside of the Pokémon Center in Sapphire City on the night before his second tournament match. To Ash, Lexi was essentially a total stranger, yet she was the only person who knew his biggest secret: the fact that he had cheated death with the help of his magical coin. She had witnessed its power at work: when Ash was able to survive a lethal Hyperbeam attack by Zak Seabrook's Tentacruel. And so it should have been obvious to Ash that it had been Lexi that had saved his life by returning the coin to him after he had been put into the hospital. Who else would have known that the coin would heal him? At the time, Ash had thought Lexi had left forever, but now – strangely – she was here in Pallet Town.

Ash's swirling late-night thoughts gradually shifted towards the suspicious appearance from a man named Professor Willow who had inexplicably mentioned Ash's father. Even though the boy had always felt like he had no father after the man had abandoned him and his mother years ago, something about how Willow spoke about the man made Ash curious to the point where a small part of him was beginning to question what he thought he knew about his past.

And on top of all that, the chilling resurrection of the former crime ring, Team Rocket was perhaps the most prominent thing on Ash's mind. Watching video footage of the new Team Rocket's terrifying killer creature absolutely destroying the very stadium where Ash had stood just days ago really hit the boy close to home. He thought about Lance and Cynthia's Pokémon, both of whom had been killed during the attack along with hundreds of innocent people. Ever since the mysterious 'Boss' had made his coronation announcement on live television, the entire world had been living in fear. Most were too afraid to find out whether or not the new self-proclaimed “leaders” of the world could be stopped. They had seen what Team Rocket's evil beast was capable of doing, and most conceded that there wasn't much they could do.

Despite how upset the whole situation made Ash, he yawned. He was beginning to tire, his jumbled thoughts starting to run together in his head. He could feel himself slip back and forth, in and out of consciousness. During his last few moments of coherence before falling asleep, Ash thought about when he had seen Lance and Cynthia on T.V., looking battered and beaten in that nasty-looking jail cell. As he finally drifted off into the night, the boy clenched his fists one last time, determined to do everything he could to stop –

“Ouch!” Ash shouted suddenly as a strange and painful sensation near his face awoke him. He sat up quickly and began flailing his arms. “What gives? Pikachu, is that you?!”

Although whatever had attacked Ash's face had since ceased since he had woken up, he continued to flop, trying to fumble with the lamp near his bedside. Finally, when he was able to flip the lights on, the boy saw that Pikachu, who was still sleeping comfortably next to him, had not been the culprit. When his eyes had fully refocused, he saw what had been pecking at his face.

It was a Noctowl. The wide-eyed bird of prey calmly sat on the open window sill. It stared intently at Ash and greeted him with a quick hoot.

“Hey, Noctowl,” Ash said a bit groggily, rubbing his cheek where it had been pecking him. “What are you doing here? It’s almost midnight.”

Ash quickly realized however, that this Noctowl wasn’t his own. His Noctowl, which did live on Professor Oak’s property, was much smaller and differently colored than this one. Ash just stared at the creature, looking confused until he saw it: a small roll of white paper fastened to the Pokémon's leg.

He gently removed the piece of paper and thanked the Pokémon for delivering it, whatever it was. Noctowl hooted in acknowledgment and flew out the open window and off into the night. Ash unfurled the roll of paper and began to read.


_____________________

Ash -

It’s Professor Willow. I’m using my Noctowl to contact you since all internet and other communications are now being monitored by Team Rocket.

I trust you saw the attack this morning and know about Team Rocket’s return to power and their plan to kill Lance and Cynthia as an example of their strength. I just want to let you know that their threats are indeed very real and very dangerous.

This is why I am writing. After today's events, it is now more vital than ever that you come see me in private on Cinnabar Island (I never made it past Cinnabar after your party since the airports are currently out of commission).

Ash, I know I probably confused you earlier tonight when I mentioned your father, but I assure you that was not my intention. The reason I came to your house in Pallet was because the time has come for you to learn the truth about both your past and who you really are. I wanted to tell you about everything while I was there, but I realized that it wasn't the appropriate venue.

Ultimately, it is up to you whether or not you want to accept the challenge I have for you. I assure you that what I have to tell you will not be easy to hear. But with the recent events that have unfolded, I think our meeting could hold the key to stopping the evil that threatens our world.

If you do decide to come meet me in Cinnabar, however, please do not tell anyone. It is best if you come alone.


Professor Willow

_____________________________


Ash read the note over and over, focusing mainly on the fact that Willow had once again mentioned his father. He immediately remembered the photograph Willow had given him before he left. In it, two-year-old Ash could be seen sitting on his father's lap, the two raven-haired males looking very happy together with no signs that the elder would someday abandon the boy. Still, Ash was skeptical because it was rather difficult to be asked to forget about everything he had ever known about his childhood and trust some strange, bald-headed scientist to tell him that he had been living a lie. In spite of this however, Ash felt a distinct sense of curiosity as he read the man's scribbled words once again.

He questioned the professor’s previous implication that his father was some sort of brave and noble savior… because that wasn’t the man Ash knew his father to be. Regardless, the teen was confused as to what good it would do for him to travel to Cinnabar Island to meet the professor. How on earth would their meeting “hold the key to stopping the evil that threatens our world,” as Willow had claimed?

A warm voice from the door suddenly interrupted his thoughts.

“Hey, whataya reading, Ash?”

Ash turned to see the very alluring brown-haired girl standing in his doorway, her smooth, long legs exposed by the skimpy boxer shorts she was wearing. Ash felt his pulse quicken slightly at the site of the girl. He was certainly very aware of Lexi's shapely figure and radiant, smooth skin. And although he found it more than a bit odd that she had been so forward in confessing that she thought he was “amazing” earlier that night, a part of the teen didn't mind in the slightest that someone as beautiful as Lexi had taken a liking to him.

“Hello?” the girl's voice again grabbed his attention away from his daydreaming. “Whatcha got there?”

“Huh!? Oh, hey Lexi… uh… nothing,” he said, forgetting that he had been holding Professor Willow's letter in front of him.

But it was too late. Lexi had seen Ash try to hide the note behind his back. She had an inquisitive but sly look on her face as she playfully jumped up onto the bed with Ash, continuing the flirtatious behavior she had been displaying ever since she'd arrived in Pallet Town. She tried reaching for the crumpled piece of paper, but Ash pulled away.

“Oh, come on! Lemme see! Lemme see!” she said, as she began to tickle him in order to get to the note.

“Ha! Cut it out, Lexi!”

Ash tried to resist the girl tickling him. He didn’t want her to see the note simply because Willow had specifically told him not to tell anyone about it. Plus, he didn’t want his laughter to awaken Pikachu, who was still sleeping soundly near the foot of the bed.

Finally, Lexi managed to pry the note away from the squirming boy and immediately jumped off the bed so that she could read it before he tried to steal it back.

“What is this, Ash? A love letter from that Dawn girl or something?” she giggled before she read it.

“Hey! Come on! Give that back!”

The expression on the girl’s face went from amused to shocked as her bright brown eyes scanned the words of the note.

“Ash… you’re not seriously thinking about going to see Professor Willow are you? I mean, your mom and Professor Oak seemed pretty serious about staying home earlier. And this note seems kind of suspicious don’t you think? Him wanting you to be all secretive and go by yourself.”

Ash sighed. This was exactly the reason why he hadn’t wanted to show her or anyone the note in the first place. He didn’t know if he was planning on actually going to Cinnabar Island to meet Willow, but if he did decide to, it would have been a whole lot easier to just sneak out of the lab if no one knew.

“I don’t know,” Ash said, trying not to look the pretty girl in the eye. “Maybe.”

Lexi sat back down on the bed next to Ash and grabbed his arm just like she had done earlier that night during their time alone in the Ketchums' backyard.

“Ash… I don’t think it’s a good idea. What if Professor Willow isn’t really trying to help you. What if it’s a trap of some kind. I mean, Team Rocket already captured Lance, Cynthia, and a bunch of other top trainers from the tournament…what if they’re after you too? Willow might be trying to trap you!”

Ash pondered this for a moment. This whole situation with Willow had been rather odd.

“Look, Lexi,” Ash said, finally turning to look at her. “I really appreciate your concern, but I don’t know what else to do, ya know? I mean, I can’t stand being cooped up in here while so many innocent people are being hurt or killed out there! If there is some way I can help, I'm gonna do it!”

Ash stood up hastily from the bed as he continued on his rant. His voice, however, softened considerably. He sounded almost whimsical as he spoke.

“I mean, I know I’m just some kid, and I probably can’t and won’t be able to make much of a difference… but I guess I just think that the more people that stand up to these guys, and the more people that refuse to let them just take everything from us, the better the chance we all have to beat them, ya know?

“If we all just sit back and accept the fact that Team Rocket is unbeatable... well, then they definitely will be. And as for Lance and Cynthia – they’re my friends. They’ve always been nothing but kind and supportive of me, and I’ve just got to at least try to do something to help save them. I… can‘t… I can’t just sit here and watch them die.”

Ash plopped back down on the bed next to Lexi. He was now sweating and breathing heavily from anger at the entire situation. Thinking about the attack on Sapphire Stadium again made him so furious that he was beginning to feel funny. He felt a sharp tingling sensation in his finger tips and down his spine, as if Pikachu had just blasted him with an electric attack. He ignored the pain, however, knowing full well that any lingering injuries from the past week would soon be completely healed by his coin.

“Ash... wow,” Lexi said finally, obviously touched by what he had said. “I can already see, you're one of those stubborn types. The kind of guy who won't listen to me if I tried to convince you to stay.”

“Probably not,” the boy said as he walked across the utility room to where his green backpack was sitting on the floor. He retrieved it and took out his gray hooded sweatshirt and shoes.

“Look, Ash,” she said, sounding rather guilty. “I didn’t want to say anything before because I was scared and your mother specifically said earlier that she didn’t want you to go looking for trouble, but it sounds like this is important to you…”

He finally looked over at Lexi with interest.

“Go on…”

“Well, you know when we were watching that terrible stuff on T.V. this morning and they showed that creepy Pokémon battle field with the Team Rocket logo on it that looked like it was built in the middle of a forest?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, when we were watching that, I thought I recognized that area of the forest.”

“What?! Are you saying that you’ve seen that field before?”

“Well no, not exactly,” Lexi said. “You see, I noticed that there was a bunch of oddly shaped trees surrounding that field when they showed it. And well, those trees looked a lot like this one particular species called the Goldwood Pine that I know only grows on the a series of islands called the Cahill Islands.

“Where are the Cahill Islands?!”

“They’re just south of the Sevii Islands, which is where I grew up. You see, when I was a kid, I was doing some ocean exploring one day, and I ended up on the Cahill Islands somehow… don’t ask how.

“Anyways, I noticed that there were these beautiful and unique-shaped trees all over the island, unlike anything I’d ever seen. And one of the islands, the southernmost one… has a giant forest full of them.”

“So, you’re saying that you think that field is in that forest?!”

“Yeah, I think it could be!”

“Lexi! That’s great! If I can find that field, maybe I can save Lance and Cynthia before it’s too late! Why didn't you mention this before?!”

Lexi blushed. "Sorry, I just didn't want to say anything in front of the others. And well...”

“Well, what?” Ash replied curiously.

“... I just thought that if you knew, you wouldn't be willing to help me find my sister,” Lexi said quietly, looking noticeably “But I know how serious this is, Lance and Cynthia don't have much time.”

Ash bent down to tie his shoes, then walked over to where the girl was seated on the bed. He cleared his throat a bit nervously before finally plopping down next to her. Perhaps that was why Lexi had come to Pallet Town so suddenly. She just wanted help from him tracking down her sister, Professor Moss.

“Lexi ...” Ash began, then hesitated when he didn't know how to continue. He felt terrible to even insinuate that saving Lance and Cynthia should take priority over finding Lexi's sister, but they had a lead on the champions' possible whereabouts, and he had to pursue it.

“I know, Ash. It's okay,” the girl replied.

“I promise, if I make it back, I will do everything I can to help you find your sister.”

After a brief moment of silence, Ash jumped up from the bed excitedly and threw on his clothes over his pajamas. He didn’t know how he was going to get to the Cahill Islands. He didn’t know what he was going to do once he got there even. But he felt that familiar flame of determination burning strong inside of him. At least this was a start.

“Wait. You’re not thinking about sneaking out tonight and going there by yourself are you?” Lexi asked nervously from the bed when she saw the boy was packing to leave.

“Yup. What my mom and Professor Oak don’t know, won’t hurt them.”

“Well, I’m coming with you then,” the girl replied firmly. “I’m not gonna let you go all by yourself.”

Ash was a bit caught off guard by how strongly Lexi seemed to want to accompany him. He had already promised to help her find her big sister, so why did she still insist on coming along? Ash started to argue that it was too dangerous for her to come with, but when he looked up and gazed into her beautiful brown eyes, he saw by the stoney expression on her face that she wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer.

MEANWHILE...​

Dawn exhaled deeply as she tried to fall asleep in one the small cots Professor Oak had prepared for her and the others in one of his laboratory’s spare rooms. She tried squeezing her eyes shut tightly, she tried just staring up at the ceiling, she tried laying in multiple positions and counting Mareeps, but nothing seemed to work.

All the fourteen-year-old from Twinleaf Town could do was lie awake and think about was how scary the world had become recently and how suddenly it had happened.

Not that long ago, she had been traveling around with Ash as he sharpened his skills against circuits of gym leaders. After briefly separating after their Sinnoh Region adventures, Dawn and Ash reunited a few months later and had been inseparable ever since. She loved the life she and Ash had been sharing together ever since they had met. The two of them had shared countless adventures, memories, and laughs over the years.

Back when she first met Ash, Dawn’s problems had seemed so small compared to those of the present day: Which restaurant would they stop at during their travels? When would she get a chance to go shopping next? Which dress should she wear for her latest Pokémon contest? But all that had changed ever since they had arrived in Sapphire City for the tournament.

Since then, she had watched the near-death of the boy who meant more to her than anything else in the world. She had felt the terrifying prospect of losing him as she watched his life slipping away in the hospital. She had been forced to endure the painful realization that Ash now had many thousands of female admirers throughout the world. And after seeing his behavior around Lexi, Dawn had had to deal with the fear that Ash might never return the romantic feelings that she had developed for him over the years.

And in addition to all that, the peaceful world she had always known was now being taken over by the ruthless and powerful Team Rocket. The uneasy feeling of not knowing whether she and her friends would be ever feel safe or enjoy the freedoms that they were used to ever again tormented the girl as she tried to sleep. Confusion, fear, curiosity, anger, and a million other emotions swirled around her brain as she stared out the window overlooking the beautiful, moon-lit town of Pallet.

Dawn shivered when she thought about all the lives that had been and would be ruined, if not ended entirely, by Team Rocket’s regime. Those who wished to live would have to abide by their rules and dictatorship… and those who did not wish to recognize them as the rulers of the world would be killed.

All during that day, Dawn had been watching the Team Rocket-controlled programming on television, even though Delia and Professor Oak had urged her not to because the broadcast‘s sole purpose was to intimidate and scare people into bowing down to them. And in Dawn’s case especially, their goal of inciting fear had worked.

She had watched as news of more and more of the top trainers from the tournament being captured was being reported. Terrible images of the likes of Glacia, Wallace, Ethan Hart, and other world famous trainers, looking beaten and bruised as they were thrown in the same dark and dingy prison cells as Lance and Cynthia had been. The Rocket broadcasters delighted in reporting each and every high-profile capture live under the guise of a legitimate newscast.

With every elite trainer that Team Rocket captured, the chances for any kind of revolt seemed to lessen. With many of the most powerful battlers in the world now being held in captivity, who would be left to stop this madness?

This caused Dawn to think about Ash again.

As she wiped a few frightened tears from her eyes, she scolded herself for even entertaining the thought that Team Rocket might come for Ash as they had done with so many of the other tournament participants. She knew how special and talented he was, but maybe… hopefully, the bad guys would just forget about Ash since he still only fifteen years old and didn't match the typical description of a superstar trainer.

Dawn eventually grew fed up with trying to fall asleep. She sat up in her cot and climbed out carefully so as not to awaken Piplup, who was still fast asleep near the foot of the bed. Professor Oak had told them they were all safe here in his laboratory, and in her mind, Dawn knew Ash was fast asleep in his cot, but for whatever reason, she wanted to see him.

She felt the cold hardwood underneath her bare feet as she tiptoed across the room and out the door, while Brock, Misty, May and Max continued to snore away.

As Dawn quietly exited the room and began walking down the long hallway towards the room where Ash was sleeping, she shivered when the chilly air hit her bare arms and legs. She wished she had remembered to grab her robe, but she wouldn’t be gone long, she thought. She just wanted to go see him… to see him sleeping safely and soundly with her own eyes. Perhaps such a sight would comfort her enough so that she could finally get to sleep.

Suddenly however, Dawn’s thoughts were interrupted when she heard a muffled voice from nearby. She stopped walking briefly so that she could try to hear more clearly. Was it Ash? It couldn’t be Ash, she concluded. Ash’s room was at the end of the hall.

The nearly inaudible male voice sounded frantic, although Dawn couldn’t tell where exactly it was coming from as it was still too faint. She followed the sound of the suppressed voice down the hall. It got louder and louder until Dawn found herself in front of one of the utility closets. She quietly placed her ear up to the closet door, and sure enough… the voice was coming from inside.

Without hesitating, Dawn turned the knob and swiftly swung the door open.

“Ash?”

“Wah!” the brown-haired teen in the closet whirled around and yelped after being startled.

It was Tracey. He had been talking on his cell phone, which he nervously buried in his pocket as soon as he saw Dawn.

“Tracey?”

“Oh… um… hey, Dawn. W-what are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Dawn said, eyeing the brown-haired young man suspiciously. “Why are you in the closet? Who were you on the phone with?”

“Oh… umm… no one,” Tracey replied, his dark, beady eyes darting back and forth nervously. “I was just... checking my messages.”

Dawn didn’t believe Tracey in the slightest, but quickly forgot about it when she heard more voices. This time, they were coming from the nearby room where Ash was sleeping.

“Do you hear that?” Dawn asked, although she didn’t wait for Tracey to respond.

She walked towards Ash’s room and peered inside through the crack of the door.

Inside, she saw Ash seated on his cot. He was wide awake and fully dressed in his familiar blue jeans, black t-shirt, and the navy blue baseball cap that Dawn had given to him as a gift before the tournament, which was now a bit tattered and torn due to the Zak Seabrook incident.

But as pleased as Dawn was to see that Ash was still wearing the gift she had given him despite its now-shabby appearance, she was equally unhappy to notice the curvacious girl who was seated cross-legged on the bed very close to him.

Dawn felt her face get hot. She stared at the girl with the same level of contempt that she had had for Misty. Neither of those girls had been there for Ash for as long as she had, and it made her so angry to see both Misty and Lexi trying to trespass on her territory.

Lexi especially, with her extremely short boxer shorts, her captivating curves, and her low-cut, snug-fitting top, really caused the jealousy to boil inside of Dawn. And what was even more infuriating to her was the fact that Ash really seemed to become attracted to Lexi right away. And for how long had he known her, a few days? Dawn had been with Ash almost everyday since she was ten, and he had never so much as hinted that he even noticed any girl in that way, much less Dawn.

Not being able to contain herself anymore, Dawn hastily pushed the door open, which caused Ash and Lexi to jump.

“Am I interrupting?” she asked snidely.

“Oh! Dawn,” Ash said after he realized who it was. “What are you doing up?”

“I could ask you two the same thing,” she replied, giving Lexi a glare. “What’s going on in here?”

Ash paused, looking extremely nervous. “Uhh… nothing.”

Dawn saw the apprehensiveness with which Ash spoke, which made her even more upset as she figured it was because she had caught him and Lexi alone.

“Oh, just forget it,” Dawn said coldly, trying not stop herself from crying. She regretted even entering the room now. “You two have fun in here.”

Dawn started to stomp out of the room. Ash just stared up at her, totally confused as to why she was so upset. Lexi, on the other hand, understood completely. A part of her just wanted to let Dawn storm out of the room and allow her to think what she was obviously thinking. But the girl's compassionate side won out, and she stood up quickly and called out to Dawn before she could leave.

“Dawn, wait!”

Dawn stopped as she was still half-way out the door. Without turning around, she snapped, “What do you want?”

“It’s honestly not what you think,” Lexi said calmly.

Ash still looked as confused as ever. He whispered to Lexi, “What’s not what she thinks?”

Lexi ignored the boy’s density and walked over to Dawn.

“Look,” she said. “I’m only here because Mr. Hero over here insists on trying to sneak out to go save Cynthia and Lance before tomorrow’s ‘big battle.’”

“Lexi!” Ash hissed.

“Ash, she’s here now! You might as well tell her!”

He sighed. Lexi was right. Now that Dawn had caught them, he might as well let her in on it.

Ash convinced Dawn to sit down next to him on the bed, and he told her everything. He told her about Professor Willow’s Noctowl waking him up. He showed her the suspicious note Willow had sent to him, and told her about Lexi’s suspicions about the professor’s allegiance and trustworthiness. He told her about Lexi’s theory that the mysterious battle field where Lance and Cynthia would be killed was located somewhere on the Cahill Islands, and how they were planning on sneaking out to save them.

When Ash had finished explaining, Dawn looked a bit less angry, but still very scared.

“Ash! You can’t! It’s too--”

“Dangerous, I know!” he said, cutting Dawn off. “But my mind’s made up! I’m going!”

He was about to try to plead with Dawn to not tell his mother or Professor Oak, but the girl stood up with a bold expression on her face.

“Well, I’m coming along too!”

“We all are!” another voice called out from the doorway.

Lexi, Dawn and Ash all turned to see Misty, May, Brock and Max standing in the doorway. Pikachu came bounding into the room as well and leaped up onto Ash’s lap.

“Pikapi!”

“Guys?” Ash looked surprised to see everyone was now awake and in his room.

“We heard Dawn get up,” May explained. “Oh… and we’re going with you guys too.”

“You guys heard –”

“We heard everything,” Misty said as she walked over towards Ash and sat down next to him. “And it sounds dangerous and probably really stupid, but we’re not letting you guys go alone.” She chuckled at the fact that Ash and his ‘hero syndrome’ hadn’t changed a bit over the years.

“Yeah, we’ve been through a lot together over the years,” Brock pointed out with a smile. “And we all make a pretty good team.”

“Pika!” Ash’s Pokémon cried as it snuggled up close with the boy.

“That’s right!” Max agreed. “We know it won’t be easy, but we have a much better chance of saving Lance, Cynthia and the others if we do it together.”

Ash looked around the room at all of them. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he realized how lucky he truly was to have such loyal and devoted friends by his side, all of whom were more than willing to risk their own safety to help him on this mission.

“Thanks guys,” Ash said, his eyes twinkling happily and gratefully. “You’re… you’re the best. All of you.”

“I just have one question,” May said finally. “How are we going to get there? It’s not exactly like we can just walk to these Islands.”

“We could use Kirlia to teleport there,” Max suggested, pulling out his psychic Pokémon's ball.

“I’m not sure if your Kirlia’s Teleport is strong enough to transport all of us,” Brock said gently so as not to offend the young trainer.

“Max is right though. Teleporting to the Cahill Islands will be the fastest and safest way,” Lexi said thoughtfully. “We could walk from here to Viridian City. I have my Abra, Xatu and Drowzee being held at the Viridian City Pokémon Center. I dropped them off there before I came back to Pallet for Ash’s party. They all know Teleport.”

“That’s a great idea!” Ash said excitedly. “I’m sure the three of them, plus Kirlia will be enough to get us all the to the islands.”

The fifteen-year-old felt the familiar sense of excitement boiling up inside him. Despite the danger that would certainly be involved in such a reckless mission, Ash felt energized when he looked all around the room and saw each and every one of his longtime best friends ready to stand behind him.

“So it’s settled then,” Misty said, standing up from her sitting position on the bed. “We’re really doing this?”

“Yup,” Ash replied, flashing his trademark grin. “Off on another journey… just like old times!”

________



There it is! Chapter 18 in the books. 19 will be coming up soon...

Please take a minute or two and leave a little feedback/comment. It would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Ranger Jack Walker]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

Great chapter!

I'm still neutral on Dawn's potrayal. While the reasons for acting the way she is are somewhat justified, she's still coming off as a bitch.

Now, we see in the nest chapter what crucial events have been changed and what have not. Looking forward to it.

 

[Legacy]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

Great chapter!

I'm still neutral on Dawn's potrayal. While the reasons for acting the way she is are somewhat justified, she's still coming off as a bitch.

Now, we see in the nest chapter what crucial events have been changed and what have not. Looking forward to it.

I have a plan for Dawn's character, but yes... I agree I need to do a better job of making her character a bit more complex and life-like, not simply the bitchy girl competing for her man.

 

[Der_Neuevenmenschen]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

Quite an epic chapter. Can't wait to see how the story turns out! *snickers at the thought of Brock saving the world, and getting boatloads of babes*

 

[Kamex]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

I'm glad you finally posted another chapter. I've been really looking forward to it.

Anyway, another excellent chapter. It feels like the best part of the story is only beginning.

I'm still neutral on Dawn's potrayal. While the reasons for acting the way she is are somewhat justified, she's still coming off as a bitch.

I have to agree with that. While I think that you've been doing a great job with the characters, Dawn's kinda coming off as a bit immature, or better said, a jealous, bitchy girl. Perhaps you should try showcasing other parts of her personality more and toning her jealous behavior down a bit.

Everything else is more than fine, though.

 

[Ranger Jack Walker]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

Actually, you've done a great job with Dawn's character. Just maybe tone her down a bit so that the readers done end up hating her.

 

[Legacy]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

Actually, you've done a great job with Dawn's character. Just maybe tone her down a bit so that the readers done end up hating her.

Yeah, like I said, I have a plan for Dawn. I'm not trying to say everything I'm doing with her is perfect, because it's obviously not, like you guys have rightly pointed out. But (without giving anything away) I do want her to have a little bit of bitchiness and unlikeability to her character at this stage. You guys will see why later..

But yeah, I agree, I shoudl tone her down a bit.

Thanks for reading everyone.

 

[Blondie]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

Hah love the epic appearance by Ho-Oh, saving the stupid little Ben kid. I loved how you described that whole scene.

A few grammer issues I saw, but not that many. I agree about the Dawn thing...and be careful about not letting Brock May an Max fall into the "I'm just along for the ride" trap. Overall tho the supernatural storyline is really getting me excited.

After the hooh attack, the boss calls whoever he has stationed in Pallet to capture Ash. I wonder if u changed that or kept the culprit the same? I want to know what info Willow has that " could hold the key to stopping the evil" eeeek I'm excited. I want to see more of the four guardians as well.

 

[Rob Anybody]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

Yay! New Chapter! And with Ho-Oh kicking ass too!

 

[Fire Dragon]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

Whoa brilliant scene with Hoho saving goldenrod city...boss man didn't seem too happy to see a Pokemonz capable of beating his creature. I bet it's Tracey who is his undercover brother. He was acting strange before when the group watched the attack on tv. Now he's up late in the closet talking to someone secretly on the phone.

This is getting good. A dangerous mission to the cahill island to find some answers. I hope we see some battling soon.

 

[Flaze]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

I loved how Ho-Oh protected everyone in Goldenrod, I actually thought he'll destroy M3, well not really. Also, I agree as well on you toning Dawn down a little, I mean I can understand why she's mad about Lexie and Misty but whoever Ash likes is up to him and she has to stop acting like he's her property or something, once a childhood friend always a childhood friend I guess.

Also, I think you're describing Lexie's features a little too much, we get it, she's hot, no need to overdo it....though I don't mind really feel free to do it as much as you like XD I think you're one of a few writers who can actually give fan service in a story.

 

[Fire Dragon]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

I loved how Ho-Oh protected everyone in Goldenrod, I actually thought he'll destroy M3, well not really. Also, I agree as well on you toning Dawn down a little, I mean I can understand why she's mad about Lexie and Misty but whoever Ash likes is up to him and she has to stop acting like he's her property or something, once a childhood friend always a childhood friend I guess.

Also, I think you're describing Lexie's features a little too much, we get it, she's hot, no need to overdo it....though I don't mind really feel free to do it as much as you like XD I think you're one of a few writers who can actually give fan service in a story.

Man Ash is lucky. If a hot broad like Lexie came into my bedroom looking like that, I would be all up on that! Am I right, Flame Haze?

 

[Blondie]

Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 18 - Sacred Fire)

Yeah, and that hit broad might go for you too if you were a world class trainer who had saved the world at least 20 times in your life and met every single lengendary Pokemon in existence and starred in your own TV show which had been running since 1998. Lol

anyways just excited to see what goes on with the group setting off to find the prof.